In defense of Americans abroad (from an American immigrant in Europe)
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- Опубликовано: 10 май 2024
- Americans are fake! Loud! They smile too much!
Sometimes we criticize our own cultures, but when other people do, it’s time for us to step in and explain ourselves. In this video, I try to explain American “fakeness” so that you can see that we mean no harm.
Are you interested in learning the behind-the-scenes of how I make these videos? Check out my new channel: / @behindthechannel 
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I'm English and have visited Prague 4 times and I love how the czechs don't do small talk or eye contact. I'm autisic and these things make me really uncomfortable, so to be able to visit a country where people act the same way as me is such a relief.
That’s a great perspective I hadn’t considered. Thanks!
Absolutely mate. While I´m not autistic (that may be just because I never went to psychiatrist) I feel same as you do. I wonder how many introverts/extroverts are living in US or Czechia. Maybe we just somehow have tons of introverts while America is mostly extroverts.
I get it. But for me (Born in Prague) it is kinda sad. I felt better in US.
Exactly! I'm Czech and I'm not even autistic (adhd person here) but I have problems with making eye contact and I prefer to talk to strangers only when necessary. I acknowledge that this czech behavior can make people from different cultures feel like they're not welcome and on their own - and we should try to understand their point of view. But I'm also glad you can see some good aspects of it. Thanks for your comment, it's really relatable for me
Takže jsme autisti? 😂 Jen sranda 😘
Hi Jen, I'm Czech but I've been living in the U.S. for the last 20 years. And I've seen people doubting (or contesting as a joke) my "Good morning", "Good afternoon", basically my "Dobrý den" by saying "Is it?" or "What makes you think it's a good morning?". I'm sure it's all just banter, but I always say to that: "Oh, it wasn't a statement, it was a wish!" I wish upon them to have "a great day", I'm not stating it is one! 😉
Exactly my thought! We are wishing them (and us as well) good day.
I think it might be a little play on words. We know it came from "I wish you a good day" but when it drops down to "good day" it can have the meaning like you are stating that the day is good. At any rate, when someone says "is it"? they're just teasing you.
@@DreamPrague Well, saying "Merry Christmas" doesn't really imply that the Christmas is indeed merry but I believe everyone understands that you are wishing the other person to have a merry Christmas. Same goes for Good morning, dobrý den or bonjour.
Yep, exactly how this is meant.
During old times answer to "Dobrý deň" could be "Pán Boh zaplať". Both was wishings.
My daughter's husband is American, I had to explain to him to tell me the truth, because he praised everything, he liked everything, and I saw that this was not really the case. He didn't understand at first that I wanted to know the truth, that in America they only praise and no one complains :) i think now our communication is constructive and at ease ;)
This is also regional. I moved regions in the US and where I live now (up north) if you praise something to a friend or family member they will go out and buy it for you, thinking you really liked it. I had to learn not to do that, as it was something I was used to coming from further south.
Hi Jen, I´m Czech, but I´ve been living in the US for four years now (DC). When I came here I had all those misconceptions about Americans being fake, insincere and shallow. And after few years I was like yeah, maybe, but who cares? I am a bit of a sociophobe, but still I love it when Americans start a conversation on a trail, in an opera, in a line, when people smile at you just because they just met you. What´s wrong with that? Do they mean it? I don´t care. And now I do smile all the time, start a small talk in a motel, on a trail, in a line. And when I return back to Prague in two years, if I had to choose what to bring back from the US to Czechia, I hope it will be the smile and the openness and readiness to interact with other people. Thank you for this episode.
Awww, thank you, @filipvelach3395 for sharing! This is so sweet, I love hearing that a Czech is enjoying that little bit of my culture. A big smile to you! 😍
We really mean it when we are being friendly. We'd never insult someone by playing some childish mind game with them. Life is too short to be insincere and is so much better being kind and friendly.
My words!
In Czech culture it is very common to ask How are you? "Jak se máš ?" But the only correct answer is "Don't even ask!" or "Stojí to za ho*no!" If you answer "Fine", without any complaints, that would mean there is something really seriously wrong with you.
I'm going to use those responses next time!
Yeah in Slovak you too ask ”how are you” but you only ask people you know, not strangers
@@DreamPrague Even that excremental one?😀😀
@@DreamPragueI studied the cultural anthropolgy but this is just a silly hypothesis that has fallen upon my mind: The Americans are the descendants of people who left the Old World for good to struggle their way of life through the New World instead of complaining that their religion or habits or expectations of their lives ain't tolerated in the Old World. Therefore their meeting phrases and manner had to become optimistic naturally. Those who stayed in the Old World were much more acceptable within its norms. Therefore they were able to change things in their lives through collective sharing of complaints of whatever the normative institution was. So that the pesimistic and complaining phrases have become that "safe place" norm to share with each other. Maybe the complaining on Amercans' habits is just a part of it and you shouldn't react as if it was something really meaningful.😊
The same in France and even in Netherlands :P
Hi Jen, the Old Quibbler at your service once again! :) So one at a time:
1) Although all my teachers told me that the question: "How are you?" should not be taken as a question in English, but only as a greeting phrase, I sometimes had trouble answering "Fine.", simply because the person in question caught me off guard and I didn't have time to realize that he was expecting a phrase in response to his phrase and wasn't really interested in any other answer. All the more so, I always try to answer these phrasal questions in such a way as "return favour" and to surprise the interviewer - for example, by asking: "Do you speak English?", I like to answer: "Sometimes.". The momentary stutter and a confused blink before the processor chewed it up and sent the interviewer the explanation, "That was a joke. He understood, thus he speaks. You can chuckle and start talking to him - IN ENGLISH.", is priceless...!
2) It's complicated with smiling. Anyone who smiled under the communists was suspect, so no one sane used to it - within three generations it took hold and you know the result. To this day, when a stranger (who's not a beautiful woman) smiles at me unexpectedly, I think to myself, "What is he/she going to ask me to do?" (although with the beautiful woman, I'll actually say it too...) - and if I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone, I return the smile with a rather suspicious look. It's rude, but habit is an iron shirt...
3) "Small talk" is a pretty annoying thing to me. But it's a parenting thing. Proverbs and quotes like, "Talk is silver, silence is gold." or "If you were silent, you might be considered a philosopher." or "If you don't have anything intelligent to say, you'd better keep silent." were drummed into me until they got into my blood. Even in Czech there are topics for small talk (the weather isn't), but most people avoid it if they can, and prefer to keep mouth shut than beat up empty straw. On the other hand, asking personal questions to complete strangers is not the norm in the Czechlands (though weirdos live everywhere).
4) Americans being loud is a common stereotype - but Americans have this in common with Latinos, Southern Europeans, Brits and many other nations, so it's not specifically American. By contrast, specifically in the Czechlands, it is considered very rude to be noisy in a means of transport - if someone is making noise that is not strictly necessary in an enclosed space that is not designed to make noise (like a disco or sports bar), they are asking for a few slaps. Making a phone call in city transport makes a special category. Of course, there are Czechs who mistake a subway car or bus for a phone booth, but in the vast majority of cases it's done by foreigners (and really rarely by Americans). The average Czech is guided by the principle: "Live and let live.", and considers arrogant when someone does not honor this principle - and arrogance is something that the vast majority of Czechs find difficult to tolerate...
Hope it helps and I am looking forward to your nest video! Keep up the good work and have a great time! ;)
Czech living in the UK here and “how are you”, how you doing” or “you okay” is also just a part of a greeting or the greeting itself here, took me a few years to get used to it 😂
Wow that's a long time! I didn't even realize it was that culturally strange! Now I see. :)
@@DreamPrague Yeah, for about two years I was tempted to tell them how I’m ACTUALLY doing 😄
(and since I’m Czech and I like to complain 😏 people were quite shocked when I replied with “not so great” 😂)
I was the same 😅 Took me a while to figure that "Alright, pall?" is a greeting not a concern about your well being 😂 I live in Scotland, so a bit of moaning is acceptable here. I usually go with "Could be worse/better" or "Can't complain". Good, solid "Jde to, ale dře to" kind of answer. But I still have this deep instinct to tell people how I actually feel...
As an American, I was initially shocked when people in the UK would ask "are you okay?" as it is only appropriate to ask your friends that, unless a stranger is obviously not okay, and you think you should call for help.
It's all good until they start with "r u all right" as a greeting, I really thought I looked like I was not all right for a while there
Dobrý den , znamená : Já ti přeji dobrý den, není to konstatování , že tento den je dobrý.
dá se říct "dobrý den přeji" ....osobně bych to použila kde se už trochu odvidění s lidma znám.. obchod, čajovna. kde je taková rozverná, uvolněnější atmosféra.
Přesně... a je to divný zmatení - "good night" se v angličtině používá úplně stejně, jako naše "dobrý den" a "dobrou noc", takže by i američanovi mělo být jasný, že jde o přání a né konstatování.
... a samozřejmě, může to být taky falešný, protože často přeješ "dobrý den" i lidem, na kterých ti vůbec nezáleží (nebo si třeba i přeješ, aby dobrý den neměli :D)
Přejete mi tím dobrý den nebo máte na zřeteli, že dnešní den je dobrý, ať už já o to stojím nebo ne, či že se dnes cítíte dobře sám, anebo že je den jako stvořený, aby byl člověk dobrý?
Stejně tak jako je "dobrou chuť", který znamená "přeji vám dobrou chuť", nikoliv "mám dobrou chuť" nebo jiný nesmysl.
@@uzivatel56 ty jo... kde jsem tohle slysela... 🤔
Češi mají rádi SMALL TALK, problém je, že otázka "Jak se máš" je její začátek 🙂. V odpovědi nahodíme nějaké téma (neprší, bolí mě záda, těším se na dovolenou,...) a to se nezávazně rozvíjí.
A když se s tím člověkem znáte , tak někdy stačí říct: “ tak jak je?”
@@jirijelinek4757 A když se s tím někým znáte opravdu dobře, tak stačí "Na p*ču?" "Jo Jo"
As a Czech
1. I love when I travel out of Czechia and people are being helpful and nice to me, when I´m buying anything and just trying to figure out anything. I don´t care, if they are honest or not.
2. I have to say, when I was in the USA as a high shool foreign exchange student 10 years ago, it took me some time to figure out how to make friends. I always thought I finally had some friends after having conversations with peers and then I found out they didn´t care about me at all. It was hard for me to distinguish who actually cares and wants to talk and who is just being polite and trying to have a small talk...
Thank you, @juliechlebovska1838 for sharing! I can see the struggle in that while being a teenager. I think even US kids have trouble with this. 🙊
"Dobrý den" is just a shortened version of "Dobrý den Vám přeji," which is the phrase my granddad and my dad used to say sometimes in full when trying to be extra polite to someone. Its not said often in full now, its a phrase from the past century. 🙂
yeah, well known is the germanism "Dobrý den, vinšuju" (from the german world "wünschen" = to wish)
Pro čecha je fráze “jak se máš?” prostě otázka s otazníkem a na to se očekává nějaká odpověď.
to mi připomělo, jak mi muj britskej bratránek vysvětloval, proč nesnáší, stejně jako mnoho dalších britů, americkou angličtinu: jejich intonace způsobuje, že každá jejich věta mu zní jako otázka. a slyšet sérii otázek, na které se nedá odpovědět je prostě hrozně frustrující! (a krom toho to zní jak mečení koz :D)
Excellent defense Jen. I lived in small town Alaskan for 22 years after living in New York City for 16 years. Obviously in NYC you don't smile that much walking down the street. But in Alaska you smile all the time, even more than usual. Why? It's the frontier mentality. In the Old West, and in the past almost every state was at one point the West, if you didn't smile and look people in the eye you could be very bad news. And if it isn't obvious, American culture can produce some VERY bad people. In the West if someone came into a town who was not greeting people civilly, then people would have to start wondering who just came to town. Europeans do not understand the idea of a frontier and the mentality that goes with it. The further west you go the more the smiley-ness is noticeable.
What makes Californians a little extra fake is precisely that California is made of so many transplants, who then figure out how to imitate the friendliness. Los Angeles is the worst because not only are they California, but they have the film industry there, which attracts hordes of wannabes who disguise themselves as normal people. I grew up in California, and have had many Southern Californian friends, many great people. But I have indeed met the fakes as well.
But I would say the biggest problem with my fellow Americans, I've spent quality time in Prague and now love living in Tbilisi Georgia, where the people are very hospitable, but not outgoing, which Americans confuse for friendliness; but our biggest problem is that when we sing that terrible 80s song We Are The World, we actually believe America IS the world. And that everyone has the same views as we do.
Meanwhile I knew Swedish man who didn't understand why Americans would bother to say hello a second time if they passed you later in a day. (Hint: Because we are not Swedish.) Thanks for the insights Jen.
Podobně nám to vysvětlovala učitelka dějepisu na základní škole.
@@teraforman I am glad to know that.
"Europeans do not understand the idea of a frontier" really? Are we talking about the same Europeans who have been trading, invading, allying with, travelling, exchanging land and displacing people/migrating for literally thousands of years? Only the last 70 years have been peaceful of our entire history from the very beginning...
I'm from Slovakia and at the time I met my American friend that is living and working here in Bratislava, for first I was sceptical on him because he was always being smiley, kind and all of those stereotypes. And I was not used to it like, I'm not saying that they are no kind people around here, it's just different. so I was worried that he is being fake. But he was not. He is just like that, It's just different culture nothing else and people are always worried about things they don't know. So when I told him we had a good laugh About it.
I'm glad he proved your expectation wrong! :)
Keep smiling, Jen, no need to justify behaviour which should be natural to many more of us. People in smaller towns in Holland usually make eye contact and smile, often even greet a total stranger and I could not get enough of this friendliness when I was there. Our central European sulkiness and the habit of making our co-humans feel invisible definitely isnˋt a more pleasant alternative. And smalltalk is not that useless at all. How else do you want to get to know people if you dont start „small“? Those who hate smalltalk consider themselves to be terribly intellectual but I believe there is rather a lot of social anxiety in their „depth“ or simply lack of interest in other people.
You got it! If they want to be hung up on being unfriendly, that's their trip, not yours or mine. As they say, 'F 'em if they can't take a joke." Life is too short to be unkind.
Velmi jednostranně a ne uplně rozumně napsáno. Já si třeba myslim, že small talk je naprosto v pohodě. Když se kolegy z jiného oddělení v práci zeptám na to, že sem slyšel že byl v Č. Krumlově a jak se mu tam líbilo, tak to je určitě small talk. Ale small talk, zaštítěný mým reálným zájmem, protože sem v tom městě byl dvakrát na výletě a zaujalo mě. Můžu pak navázat svojí zkušeností, zeptat se, jestli tam byl ve vyhlášené rybí restauraci u mostu, pač mi tam chutnalo a zase - zajímá mě jeho názor. Pokud bych s ním mluvil jenom proto, abych mluvil, tak by mi to přišlo nedůstojný a především vůči němu. Rozhodně ale nebudu na souseda pořvávat že je super počasí, jenom kvůli tomu, že by mi přišlo divný v tichu 30 sekund čekat na výtah. Zrovna tak je definitivní a podle mě chybný pokládat neochotu k prázdnému small talku za důkaz povýšenosti, nebo nedostatku zájmu o lidi. Snad je definující situace. Pokud jedu v autobuse tak si všímám sám sebe ne proto, že by mě nezajímali ostatní lidi, ale protože respektuji soukromí cizích lidi i ve veřejném prostoru a vyhovuje mi když oni dělají to samé. Zájem o lidi snad neni nějaká globální povinnost která by se měla velkolepě demonstrovat co 10 sekund na každém koho potkám. Zájem o lidi snad projevuji ve chvíli, kdy potkám člověka o kterého ten zájem opravdu mám.
??? A very weird interpretation of my words. Where did you get it that you should bother people all the time and everywhere with some fake interest?
Takto spravedlivě rozhořčenou Vás vidím poprvé 😮
Ale určitě se z toho dá pochopit, že se nás Američané nesnaží záměrně naštvat, ale jejich “naturel” je prostě jiný🫡
Američané se naopak nemohou divit, že jejich zvyklosti jsou v Evropě Evropany posuzovány podle evropských měřítek 🧐
Mne sa skôr zdá ze Američania narozdiel od ostatných sa nesnažia pochopiť ze nie sú v Amerike. A ľudia majú iné štandardy správania.
Južný Európania sú ukecanejší a priateľskejší. Severný utiahnutý.
Hi Jen, I am Slovak and I am big fan of yours. I like your videos because you brings new perspectives and make me to take a think about them. You are able to understand very well the culture of the country you live in and explain your views.
I see you feel the need to defend your culture and I understand your explanation. That this is just a polite greeting and acknowledging and nothing more that that. This is the cultural difference that can cause misunderstanding. I'll try to explain you the feeling from other side.
You know Czechs already and how they usually behave. Imagine the situation you are at a party or at work and some Czech woman approach to you with eye contact and a wide smile and start to communicate with you very friendly. Maybe you can expect that she has friendly attitude, positive feelings towards you and you will probably take it as a signal of her willingness to know you better. Oh, finally you can find some friend here in this new environment. (We expect exactly this in this situation). But after few entry sentence she just turn back and go away, no more interest. You may feel disappointed.
And imagine that everybody who you meet behaves like this. Wide smiles but nobody will go beyond that small talk, to tell him/her how was your day, that you need some help, no chance to find some friend. Just wide smiles and chit chat. Don't bother anybody with your opinions or problems.
Maybe this is not just about the greetings, maybe it is about that feeling that the relationships stay shalow. This maybe the reason why people could feel these smiles as fake when nothing follows.
What do you think about this?
My life observation, agreed upon with couple more people, is that the “who are you” phrase has also a second part. This part usually comes before farewell and sounds like a 100% reassurance that “we should meet again” or “cal me and we do something together” or “I would LOVE to come over” and similar. In most cases, it is just a phrase unfortunately. When you try to follow up on the “promise”, usually the person has not clue or does not answer at all or, at best, tells you she/he is busy. So you will safe disappointment if you let your American friends contact you first, which means that they are really into the follow up.
You've hit on a hard truth. That is American fakeness. That comes from us not knowing how to end the conversation, and to show that we've enjoyed someone's company, we propose a casual 2nd meeting. But you're right. it is often not 100% authentic. If the circumstances should arise, fine, but if not, oh well. This is also a really L.A. thing and I hate it.
Maybe that's where I, as an American, went wrong. When I was living in Prague, I often met Czech women of different ages at meetings or in some group activity. I wanted to get to know them better and would invite them to have coffee at a cafe or to my flat, just for a chat and tea or whatever, or even a walk in the neighborhood, at that time or a few days later. We would do it and I'd think to myself, well, here is someone I'd like to get to know better and be friends with. Guess what. I'd never hear from them again. Isn't there some idea of reciprocity if someone serves you lunch or you go somewhere together, that they would contact you again?
That was really interesting. Very honest (I think I sensed you were a bit upset). I think I got it. But I was wondering why the things you mentioned bother me. From my experience. The point is that misinterpreted social signals cause confusion. I chatted in the USA at a party with an American and it was small talk. It was about my planned National Parks trip and he offered me a little help during the conversation. But then he never came back to it and I was confused. My wife explained that it was just casual small talk. But it pissed me off a bit. Because I understand what it means to talk about the weather and stuff, but if I offer to give someone some travel tips - why say that if I'm not going to do it? If people smile at me, of course it's nice, but on the other hand - if it's just a mask, you're actually missing the signal that you're not indifferent to that person. So, if someone looks neutral but smiles a little at you, it's something extra that they wouldn't have to do and wouldn't do if they didn't find you somewhat sympathetic.
Ahh, I can just picture that conversation! The "I'd be happy to give you tips" and then walks off to get a beer and never returns. I suppose that if you had a specific question ready at that moment, like, "do you think we should travel by RV, or stay in local hotels?" then he would have had an answer. But he wasn't going to make the list of tips for you? I'm just guessing. Americans (like Czechs) like to show that they know something, but the Czech will tell you the thing, and the American will just say "yeah. I know all about that thing" and move on :)
@@DreamPrague In that conversation he offered that we could meet and he would show me on the map the places we should not miss. But then he didn't come back to it (he didn't go for a beer, he continued talking about something and then started talking to someone else). And I didn't know what that meant. Does this mean that he made me a polite and kind offer, but doesn't want to impose himself and therefore expects me to ask him for the meeting? I was confused and because I didn't want to be a fool, I went to consult my wife (she has much better social intuition, etc.).
This reminds me about an article I read about a culture study from USA;
Two families, one family from New York and one family from LA were put together around a big dinner table. How did it go?
The family from LA thought the NY family were rude because they (the LA family) could not get a word in edgeways.
The NY family complained and said the LA family didn't seem to want to take part in the conversation at all.
USA is a big country with many cultures.
Yep, that 100% rings true.
I have friends from both coasts. If you're sincere.. it counts. You have to be aware and open and be able to take a joke. No barriers = friends.
I think that dobrý den is that you wish them to have a good day, not describing an actual day.😂
I definitely think we as people from all different cultures should have a little more understanding and kindness, even appreciation for how these ways of communicating can differ from one area to another. Just learning a little goes a long way. Thank you, for this video!
I would always choose “hi, how are you” over the lack of facial and vocal expression. I like when people actually talk and express themselves easily and in a friendly way. And I am not Czech, nor American 😊
Great video about cultural differences. I am Czech that used to live many years in South East Asia and working there with many expatriates from US, Australia and Canada and they we always shocked that us Czech people where most of the time skipping the small talks and went straight to the topic. It took time for us and also for them to get used to it...
From my german perspective I would say, in villages it is good manners to make eye contact, smile and greet. German and Czech greet strangers if they meet on a hike. On a difficult underground without eye contact.😉 Smal talk is also usual. But sometimes it feels, Americans are overpowered or overexcited. We have less smal talk per day and not with every stranger. But thats only my feeling.
Yes, you're right about the hiking! Czechs and Germans are quite friendly in nature - so that might be it :) Perhaps the sunshine puts them in a friendlier mood.
@@DreamPrague Czech here. I always assumed that greeting each other in nature was more about a kind of camaraderie. Like both parties are hikers so they feel part of the same tribe in a way.
After an overnight flight to Washington D.C. (no sleep - I'm sure my brain was not all there), I was traveling in a packed and silent subway car the last few miles to the hotel. To my pleasant surprise, at the far end of the subway car was a former colleague I hadn't seen in years. Without thinking, I called out loudly, "Hey Dave!" and waved. Everyone stopped what they doing, raised their eyes from their papers/smartphones/etc., and looked for the loud "maniac". They saw me waving and then looked to the opposite end of the car to see who I was waving at. Dave did see me ... and all the other people looking in his direction ... and then Dave pretended to look around for "Dave" like everyone else was doing. We got off at the same stop and he approached me, "Hey, great to see you! What the hell is wrong with you?!" 🤣
Wonderful. Thank you for your perspective!
My pleasure!
I live in UK and British people do exactly the same (with the greeting)......I was struggling with it at the beginning as well but after nearly 15 years I'm no longer bothered 😄
Btw.....I'm češka😀
Wow 15 years! I am surprised it takes so long, it's a bigger cultural difference than I imagined!
A Slovak here 👋 An alternative to small talk is being silent 😂 I don't get why some people (Americans, for example) have to talk all the time. "Awkward silnence" isn't awkward at all to me 🙂 Just don't say anything, and it'll be fine.
Exactly... I had a friend like this, everytime there was a silence she had to start speaking, always... so i started using stopwatch on my phone to measure how long did she last silent before speaking :D it was really fun. People have to understand that there is absolutly nothing wrong about being silent.
They feel awkward to be in the same space with others in silence. They feel like they have to fill in the void the silence creates. That’s why. It’s just different cultural norms. Like Jen said being quiet and not making eye contact is rude in the USA. (I know because I live here)😝
Yeah, many of us find it awkward and rude. Sorry! I agree that silence is often better than worthless chit chat. but that's just how we're raised.
I am Czech and this is how I understand ""Dobrý den" - it is not a statement that we have a good day, but it is a wish to that person, something like "May your day be good." "Přeji vám dobrý den". Great video, by the way! (as a Czech, I keep forgeting to give positive feedback ;-)
I think Americans are similar to Dutch people in some of the ways you laid out here. I am from a Nordic country and lived in Netherlands for one year and had to deal with people from a lot of different countries, including Americans, and the Dutch people are also famous for being loud, talkative, small-talkish and «superficial», if that’s a good way to say it. Maybe not so much the fake smiles, but to some degree they are known for a very outward-seeking personality. I was told that the way the Dutch acted had much to do with business, and having a pragmatic approach to doing business with people. If you need to «sell» yourself it’s better to have an extroverted out going style so that you have a greater chance of succeeding. It seems to me that a lot of American behaviour also stems from this culture of selling yourself to make ends meet. Not sure if that’s the whole reason, but to me there generally seems to be more of an acceptance to «sell yourself» in American culture, which might also include a culture of bragging and not being shy to talk about your good sides, which to many Europeans can seem a bit aggressive and intimidating. It’s like constantly talking to someone who is in a job interview, which can be a bit exhausting. I remember American students referring to themselves as «A students»…I was like «are you for real?…it sounded like a college movie😂… It also seems to me that Americans are more vulnerable in many ways, due to the relative lack of worker’s rights and social welfare (compared to Europe) which means that there’s more on the line when you do business. If you don’t succeed, you’re basically in a very bad position, so the drive to succeed becomes bigger, and that gives way to a more «self-marketing» based way of behaving. In Europe the risk is not the same, so you don’t need to sell yourself in the same way. Relatively speaking of course…😊
Ahoj Jen, no tak nevím kam bych po tomto videu pasoval sebe, od malička chodím s hubou od ucha k uchu, když se rozhovořím praskají skleničky a furt na někoho koukám, 🤔 jo a bez rukou se nedomluvím 😁 no a když jsem pozdraven větou "Ahoj, jak se máš" zásadně odpovídám "Mám se skvěle, ale špatně to snáším." 😂 tak mi až přijde na mysl, že hodně lidí čeká, že si začnu stěžovat na zdraví, dobu ve které jsme se tak nějak ocitli, no a asi nejvíc, na neustálé zdražování čehokoli - ale proč vlastně, že .........
Super video k zamyšlení nad jednotlivými kulturami a taky opět pobavilo, ten tvůj styl je úžasný.
Vzpomínám když jsem ještě v minulém režimu jezdil ráno za prací do centra metrem a přestupoval na Míráku, celou dobu jízdy po eskalátorech (tuším tehdy nejdelších v Evropě - nevím jak dnes) jsem se usmíval a koukal na lidi co jeli proti mě, kdyby pohledy některých mohly zabíjet, jsem stokrát mrtvej než dojedu dolů. Já si prostě nemohu pomoct, jsem veselej od nátury a život mi přijde natolik krátkej, abych ho promračil. Nemám každý den růžovej, ale proč bych svoje problémy přenášel na jiné lidi, které navíc ani třeba neznám, nicméně ani blbý den mi nezabrání, abych nedělal (jak se u nás doma říká ) Hájkoviny.
Přeji ti mnoho a mnoho usmívajících se spoluobčanů, a mimochodem ........... 🤔 ......... Ahoj, jak se máš 😁
Krásný den přeje 🙂 Tom
After living in the states for 44 years. I appreciate smiling faces and even small talk a lot more then the sulking and unfriendly faces that you come across in Europe,and I speak Czech fluently as well as can communicate in other languages.Don’t even get me started with the Czech Ůřady,they make you feel like you’re only there to bother them.
Luckily, we've been treated in a very friendly way by most Europeans, probably because we try to speak the language, are sincere, polite, quiet and friendly, instead of being surly and unfriendly. Who'd want to hang out with that kind of person?
as a Czech and an introvert (!), I would actually appreciate, when people here could communicate more through the eye contact and smile and just try being nice as well... and I feel, that also Czech people very often start a talk with "jak se máš?" not expecting / wanting to hear a deep and honest answer, especially not a negative one... personally, I dislike this question in any language/culture, when meant just as an phrase 🤷♀
I think this is an American influence though. Social contact is a "work in progress"...
Yes, I think it is the American influence.
Jen, for Czechs clearly the alternative to small talk is no talk! How have you missed that? 😂 We will rather wait 30 minutes for a bus in silence than, God forbid, talk to a stranger!
Actually there are places in Czechia (mainly the countryside) where people greet each other when passing them on the street even though they don't know each other. There's even small talk 😮
You also reminded me of my first native English teacher, an Australian. He was leaving for South Africa, I think, and he was totally taken aback when I told him to "take care", which would be a totally normal thing to say to a person who you know and who's leaving to travel the world, but he was surprised by how personal it was 🤷♀️
It's absolute myth that people in villages geet each other and have more small talks, from my experiences, it's more like vice versa, it's higher probabilty that someone answers to your hello in Prague than in village full of rude rednecks. I know it because I am originally from Prague, but I live in little town for 10 years. People are more open and kind definitely in Prague or in other bigger cities than in villages where everyone is hiding behind their 3m tall fences and watch you like an enemy when you go around their house.
Those oldschool real villagers already died, all people in today villages are small city people living their american dream with 3 cars and pool, you will not meet any real villages in 2023.
@@Pidalin Just go to literally first town/village behind Prague and you'll see the difference, a lot of people greet you on the street there, especially children if you're adult.
@@LorcTheBest I just explained that I live out of Prague for 10 years and it's not true at all, it's just a stupid anti-Prague myth. These villagers won't even let you cross the road, nobody will stop their stupid cars because of you, while in Prague, everyone stops.
@@Pidalin i didn't say every village. I live in such a place where people greet each other🤷♀️
@@Pidalinmyslel opravdovou vesnici, malé město a ne nějaký umělý satelit😂
Let's face it! What's good for business? Openess, smile, acknowledgment, happy personality. I am with US people on this. Something to learn here...
Interesting take - yes definitely good for business to be a little more welcoming!
The thing is, I work with people and I kind of have to smile and make small talk, so I'm really happy to leave work and not smile or speak to anyone on my way home. Unless I'm in a good mood, then I smile at everybody (and they often think I'm using something 😀).
Nah, when the salesperson is too forward I prefer to flee..
Liked your video Jen. I’m an American living in the Czech Republic too, and get some of the same questions. I usually tell people that Americans don’t smile all the time, it depends on what profession they are in and maybe where they live. I’ve been surprised myself when I went back home a couple of times and dealt with people in customer services. It’s getting better. But I live in a small town in Moravia, and I have to say that people do make eye contact and smile when they pass you on the street. Small town atmosphere is a bit different from larger cities. But I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Hi Jen, I'm a long-time follower and this is my first comment (I don't usually comment on videos in general). Thank you for all your hard work! And for your effort to understand in depth - that's admirable. This topic of stereotypes about Americans shows how it is important to try and understand the other side, and I mean both sides. Btw, your intonation is a lot calmer now than it used to be. That must be Czech influence :-)
I would also like to give a little advice about your Czech pronunciation that can help you gain a lot more Czech accent without too much effort: The assimilation. When you say "Ahoj všichni", the "v" sound ought to be assimilated to "š" and be pronounced as "f".
I wish you all the best, and look forward to your future videos! Anna
Hi Anna, thank you for taking the time to comment, and for your Czech tips! My czech teacher would 100% agree with you, and still I'm out here embarrassing myself at the start of every video. I'll keep trying!
I had same in UK people saying You Alright? First it was pissing me off now I do it myself after 14 years. It's just way to say hi, but in Cechia/Slovakia it means more like I wish you "dobrý Den" because it might be miserable but I don't want to know just wish it gets better
If someone asked me "you alright?" I'd be like "why, is there something wrong with me?" 😂
I loved your straight forward, no walking around the houses attitude in this particular video. Of course I did, I'm Czech. I know as well from record that some expat people like to dish others (locals especially, so why not Americans as well). If somebody doesn't get Americans, well, that person should try to make it in Japan, as you guys did, I believe.
Thanks for your feedback! I appreciate it.
I find the expat groups on facebook quite toxic. Czechs in particular receive quite a lot of hate from expats online and I have found myself a number of times fighting random dudes and explaining basic historical and cultural concepts to them. I know it will probably not make much difference but I just have to stand up for my folks, thus I know how you feel Jen 🙂 I find every generalization harmful. Each person is unique and doesn’t deserve to be thrown in one sack based on his nationality.
It is really interesting what you are saying about American culture. I am french, and in France when we meet friends or family the first thing we say is "Salut ça va ?" = "Hi how are you ?", but it is more like a way to say hello. We are not expecting the person to explain how his/her life is going. So when I arrrived in Czechia, I said "Cau, jak se mas", and my boyfriend told me "honey, in czech we don't ask "jak se mas" unless you really want to know how the person has been doing lately ^.^' "
Hey Jen, American in Prague here speaking in defense of American loudness. Ok, so I take singing lessons at a fabulous singing school here in Prague. My teacher tells me American loudness comes from Americans speaking from our "mask" that means that we actually speak with our singing voice. It is a cultural phenomenon with Americans and she says it would be fascinating to figure out the origins of it. She said Americans have it way easier when learning to sing because their voices naturally know what to do whereas Europeans need to learn how to sing from that position. We both admitted that Americans are loud but her perspective was very different from most people I talk to. She says, when she hears a loud booming American on the tram, she thinks, man they would be an amazing singer. Point being, in certain instances, our loudness has its benefits. 😂
That's fascinating, thanks for sharing!
Also, can I ask the name of the singing school?
Dobrý den znamená že lidem přejeme dobrý den,není to prázdná fráze jak jak se máš.
Přesně tak. Wiki sice není asi nej zdroj, ale je v tom poměrně jasná. "Dobrý den je v češtině a obdobně i v mnoha dalších jazycích jeden z nejběžnějších pozdravů. Vyjadřuje přání dobrého dne, jde tedy o výraz ve čtvrtém pádě, vzniklý zkrácením věty; někdy se používá i v plnější verzi, například dobrý den přeji nebo přejeme vám dobrý den (původně dej Pánbůh dobrý den)."
@@maxxike áno.
Hi, I am from Prague and for me and my friends it was a cultural difference when our Australian friend joined another group when we went for a beer together. We are used to stick to your group bcause you came with them. He then explained that it is normal in Australia to spread into the party, to hang out also with other people... thats so unlike Czech/Slovak way if hanging out 🖖
Thank you, @manmad9038 for sharing! That's a really interesting cultural difference. 🤓
It is similar in almost all of Europe. I am neither Czech nor American. I am a Croatian Australian. You explain how Czechs should understand Americans, not Americans so that they don't behave like they do in the USA. Why do Americans expect to be understood in a country they live in that has probably never met a large group of Americans? If I'm alone on the street and I see a person smiling at me and trying to make eye contact, a stranger asks me, " How are you? I'll try to cross the street and hope that person doesn't do the same. It is also a foreign custom in Australia, and it seems that people have some kind of mental illness. Americans should understand that the question How are you is very intimate and is asked to close people and the answer is awaited. A good day is a greeting from the Middle Ages when diseases, wars and climatic disasters were rampant and people wished each other that they would have a good day, which means that they would end it alive, full and safe.
You could see that in Europe, regardless of all differences in language, religion, culture, and history, we are quite similar. Our customs are similar, and we understand each other more easily.
I have advice for all Americans in Europe. If you are in Rome, act like the Romans. I hope you understand.
Všichni jsme velmi zranitelní smrtelníci,Češi,Američané a další....Přeji ti krásné a pohodové léto Jen.🌞
I love your videos ❤ I am also a foreigner living here in Prague and I am also loud 😅 - but as you said there are things that are part of our identity so you cannot just completely change - I wish you all the best in this beautiful city 😘
Thank you, @julianaalves9454! Same right back at you! 😍 Glad I am not alone.
Well, these cultural differences exist everywhere. I am from Switzerland. There are examples with our neighbor Germany (at least from certain regions in Germany). For example, a person from Germany comes into the bakery (in Switzerland) and says: "I'm getting a roll!
The employee most likely will raise his/her eyebrow and think, what kind of arrogant asshole is that? Even a chance you'll get a remark like: "We'll see about that".
Usual would be here rather something like: "Grüezi, I would like to have a roll".
Another point would be. In Switzerland it is usual, if you go hiking in the mountains and there are people coming towards you, you greet them. If not, it is considered rude.
There are more examples. So we are all different, but somehow the same xD
Thank you for thees examples!
@@DreamPragueI do believe, if you are open minded and walk through life with open eyes, you have less problems. Accepting (and of course realizing) that other people and cultures exist makes it easier in my opinion. Not everything someone does or doesn't is meant as an offense.
As you mentioned in another video, observing, beeing curioes etc. is, in my opinion, an important part of life 😊
LOL about "We'll see about that". What's the comeback? "So you opened this bakery just to play hard to get?" - The politeness and camaraderie among mountaineers exists even in Czechia. Makes me wonder if that's also perceived as fake by other Czechs.
Jen, dobrý den není konstatovaní. Ten pozdrav je vlastně zkrácenina Přeji Vám dobrý den. ... to není totéž jako how are you? how are you je otázka. :)
I u nás máme otázky, na které nečekáme odpověď. Třeba: "Seš normální, ty vole?"
@@breznik1197 Zdravím. Dovolím si nesouhlasit. Když někomu řeknete "seš normální?" reakce osloveného je na místě. Znamená to, že něco není v pořádku, že nesouhlasíte s tím, co někdo dělá/udělal. Nepřijdete do čekárny u lékaře a neřeknete lidem "jste normální?". Naopak, v rámci slušnosti jim popřejete "dobrý den". To je něco úplně jiného.
@@dusanzizak2029 Ano, fráze pro zahájení konverzace se volí podle situace. Když někomu chci popřát zdraví, tak pozdravím, a když někomu chci vynadat, logicky asi nezačnu přáním slunečného dne ani pevného zdraví.
Reakce protistrany pak závisí na tom, jestli konverzaci zahájím přáním, otázkou, konstatováním anebo výčitkou. Pokud ty fráze nejsou pokrytecké a fejkové, tak na otázku se odpovídá, přání se přijímá či opětuje, na výčitku se reaguje obhajobou nebo omluvou, s konstatováním lze souhlasit, oponovat mu nebo ho komentovat. Taky se dá konverzace zahajovat třeba lichotkou či pochvalou.
@@breznik1197 Ale tady mluvíme o pozdravu, nikoliv o zahájení konverzace. Ta se dá začít snad každým slovem v českém slovníku.
Už samotný význam slova "pozdravit", o odvozen od významu "přát zdraví". Např. pozdrav "Buď zdráv".
@@dusanzizak2029 Ano, u nás té úvodní konverzační frázi říkáme "pozdrav", protože jí přejeme druhému zdraví (nebo něco podobně dobrého). V jiných zemích a jazycích zahajují konverzaci něčím jiným, třeba otázkou, jak se druhý má. Proto taky místo slova "pozdrav" mají třeba nějaké jiné slovo, které znamená něco jiného. Ovšem je-li pozdrav vyprázdněný a falešný, pak už je skutečně jedno, co původně znamenal, protože už ani nic neznamená. Tím, že to je "jen pozdrav", by ovšem ta jeho vyprázdněnost a neupřímnost neměla být obhajována.
Thank you for the explenation of your American culture, it helped me kinda understand how you guys think. Also you explained the greething part reminded me how weird it felt when I found out that you just say Hi to everybody (říkat všem Ahoj je nemyslitelné tady :D) and that just shows your opnennes which goes togather with the street eyecontact (yeah it feels kinda lonely walking down a street knowing that trying to make eyecontact makes you a bit weirdo) and even the loudness - I also come from big family that made me originally more loud too (we were yelling at each other from different rooms) but the school or just society taught me to be more quiet.
Also I believe that many people that were taught at home to be nice girls or boys are participating in small talk with people that they don"t really like...(even though if they knew they don"t like them then that small talk is considered rude)
Moc děkuji @eiramram2035 for sharing! I am glad you enjoyed the video! ♥
that nice you making this video, after living 23 years in Chicago, i got so used to the HOW ARE YOU question, that i do go about it the way its meant to be, just hi.. but there are days when im still Moravian, and just go about my how im doing and etc, and they look at me like what are you taking about, and at that moment i shoot not an actual how are you... and with the eye contact i alway hated when they actually dont look at you and acknowledge you even when they saying hi how are you... i get your point and can relate a lot after so long here,,,,,keep up the good work...as always your Chicago viewer.....
Thank you, @czdejv21! I really appreciate it! 😍
About the loudness: I am a very loud czech person. My mother is too. And we know we do that, but as we are quite passionate, it happens. So I get you and I do not get mad at foreigners who are loudly debating. When I worked in a zoo as a guide, that was different. Really a group of Italians (and Spanish) was a disaster ruining a peaceful stroll and animal watching for everyone. Americans were never this loud as Italians. :-D
Hi Jen, Czech lady here. This theme sure fired you up :o) I sort of understand - I travelled a lot during one part of my life and by the way of trial and error method have learned two things:
- it is hard to hear your country or your people criticized by people from other country (I tend to defend them even if I agree with the criticism .o));
- I have stopped generalizing (or stereotyping) people or nations, simply because it does not always work; I have met quiet Italians, loud Brits, very sociable Swedes, very introverted Americans etc etc. So I am usually careful with my anticipations and try to learn a little about local customs, but it really comes down to a particular person regardless of the country.
As for the How are you greeting, it also took me some time to learn the proper answer - in USA and in Canada it really meant mostly just the greeting, may be a conversation opener, in Britain (Wales) people were more often really interested how I was. I do not mind, though, I come from Moravia, and in my youth people used the greeting Jaká?, event. Tož jaká? (meaning how are things?) not always wanting to know the full story.
Keep up the videos, I really enjoy them! Have a nice summer :o)
I love your excitement And sincerity as well
Do not sorry at all, all Is relative And taken in a different prospective
Slovak girl over here living in the deep south of the US (Louisiana) best believe everyone will smile and say how are you? Even call you Sha and baby upon meeting you 😁 I remember calling my mom the first couple of times that happened and telling her “wow people are so nice over here, everyone asks you how you’re doing” and of course my response would be to tell them all I had going on that day😅😅
Ha! I bet they were shocked to hear all you had to say!
Fake is whatever they can´t understand.
Good video explaining the differences, possibly bringing people closer together.
For me saying how are you without meaning it is so against my nature. Recently I managed to use it just like a greeting on a call at work, but felt like denying myself. 😁
Some years back I lived in Manhattan for periods adding up to 7 years or so. I learned to warn my US friends that they were free to ask me how I am, but then I would tell them. I also have evacuated from bars and restaurant because the sound level was too intense, it seemed to me like it was almost a competition in being the loudest. To a Norwegian that's just inconsiderate and counter productive. If we all keep our voices lowered, the distance between tables will actually work to make all groups hear better, while going full blast kind of takes over the whole area. As for "fake" I never thought of US people like that. As long as you're not in competition with New Yorkers, they are amazingly friendly and strangers would often ask me if I needed directions or were just genuinely interested in where I was from and my life and experiences in general. Maybe it helped that I am somewhat untypical for a northerner, I look people in their eyes and smile all the time and initiate conversations with anyone and everyone whenever opportunity arises. Never small-talk though, I understand the reasoning but it bores me and life is too short. I can usually find a middle way, and not launch right into the deep end immediately. Personally I find it quite interesting to try to read the reaction of my conversation and adjust the level and length of my interaction to get a good experience for both sides. I hope you don't let negativity get you down, and keep up being you! :)
Very interesting. Having been socialized in the US a couple of childhood years, it is good to get clear explanations.
It was a super interesting video, thanks ))). It's funny how the part about smiles accurately describes my attitude, not to American, but to Czech smiles. When I had just arrived in the Czech Republic from Russia, it seemed strange to me that people smile so much and often, and it was very uncomfortable (because I was simply not physically used to smiling back so much, but without a smile in return I felt that it was wrong and I needed to smile). Now I am completely used to it and the smilingness of the Czechs does not seem prohibitive to me, I like it and I am happy that people here are friendly))). At the same time, I was in the USA (Washington and New York) and it didn’t seem to me at all that there were smiling people. I also think that people use the word "fake" when they want to say "feels insincere" (which I think is much more fair and doesn't sound so rude). It’s also very interesting about small talk - I’ll never master this amazing art (it’s incredibly boring to chat about nothing, so I will continue to scare people with “serious conversations”), but the guy from the example was just incredibly rude - he didn’t suggest a serious topic, he dared to criticize you aloud and this is so impolite 😡(I think sooner or later he will stumble upon big problems if he keeps critisizing strangers).
Yes, I Guess the "small talk" Is too hard to us, Slovan origin.
Hi Jany, thanks for all your videos, i like this ❤ and especially thanks for this video. Czech language is very hard and in this consequences is big problem learning all about this language, but for example " Dobrý den " is short from " Přeji vám dobrý den “ and "Nashledanou" or "Nashle" is short from "Těším se na shledanou " or "Těším se na brzkou shledanou" without your wish they people for next time meet. Is czech fake?😱But ”How are you?" is question and this is probably problem for people. From my point of view is perfect american saying " Don't ask questions, you don't want to know." Sorry for my anglish i never this learning.
How are you? is perceived as a question, because it does have an equivalent in other languages which is just that.
And not just any question. It's a probing question, asking directly about the other person's personal situation. It's ok (and welcome) if asked by a friend, but feels extremely confusing if asked by a total stranger. It's a psychological equivalent of somebody coming to you and examining your personal belongings. Again, acceptable with close people, but violating the personal zone with anybody else.
Even after years of working with Americans, I have to consciously remind me not to panic when they do the "How are you?" thing. But I practiced and I can engage in the greetings and the small talk much better now.
As for being loud, that part I didn't have to practice even though I'm Slovak:) And I can totally relate to how infuriating it is when the husband tries to keep his beloved wife's volume down:)
And you know what? In this video, you are going straight to the point, launching serious topics, without faking or dancing around (or just a tiny little bit). Even some complaining involved. So, you are talking a lot like a local:)
In village people are more likely to say dobrý den with a smile to anyone they meet.
I bet you are right. In Prague people are too busy. Just like in New York.
I love your passion and spirit! I can feel it and it's not fake at all😊. It is possible to really see and feel the person even during the small talk. This stuff is just not much important. The thing is.... We are raised in this submissive, lower-your-head culture. We are well-trained in how to hide. So if czech people criticize Americans there is a lot of projection. In fact, it would be so beneficial and playful if we switch these stereotypes and start speaking loud, and making eye contact... it might serve us well... ❤ in every resistance there's a possibility. 😊
I experienced a lot of "Hi, How are you?" in South Africa. I was very lonely there the first 2 months. Especially shop assistant were little taken aback when I answered and asked back. But ALL of the time we had our little chat and they seamed pleased about it same as me.
Thats also how I found I no longer had strange accent. They simply stopped asking where I am from. Cool! Love it!!
Great video btw ♥
For an American, "Hello! How are you?", is just an extended greeting. The literal meaning is usually close to, "I'm greeting you in a friendly fashion. I'm not a threat to you and you can expect me to be polite and understanding."
It's similar for smiling. It's an expression of an "outward facing" mood. You can safely assume this person will be pleasant and not a burden.... although, some demanding Americans misuse this as an intro to "friendly coercion" (I need/want something and I want/hope that you will help me.) And honestly, the Czech Republic is pretty awesome - there's lots to feel good and smile about as a tourist.
Ahoj Jen.
Když říkám "Dobrý den", skutečně ostatním PŘEJI dobrý den, oznamuji, že si přeji, aby mě viděli jako přátelského, který nepřichází ve zlém. Nepřipadá mi, že je to fráze. Zlosyn, který přichází vykrást banku, ten určitě neříká "Dobrý den, ruce vzhůru!".
Oční kontakt, pokud není skutečně letmý, může být vnímán jako ZÍRÁNÍ, pokud tam chybí úsměv. My primáti můžeme pak tento UPŘENÝ POHLED brát jako výzvu ke konfrontaci, fyzické či slovní. Všimněte si, když se pejskovi zadíváte přímo do očí, odvrátí hlavu, říká tím "Nestojím o konflikt".
Small talk se asi provozuje proto, aby si neznámé strany trochu vymezily své hranice a zjistily nějaké informace o druhé straně, jak smýšlí, něco málo o charakteru, momentální náladě, předpokládaných vzájemných vazbách. Tvůj příběh ze Staromáku, kdy tě po první větě cizinec slovně napadne, je o tom, že někdo si myslí, že ti může lézt do života a kritizovat tě, chce vyvolat konflikt, protože zastává svoji "jedinou pravdu". Pravdu z mainstreamu, normální myslící člověk nedělá definitivní závěry z jediné věty.
Hlasité hovory přes celý vagón a povykování skupiny na veřejnosti se mi nelíbilo už v době, kdy k nám jezdili východní Němci, bral jsem to jako pohrdání místními a jako přístup okupantů, kteří si mohou dovolit úplně všecko. Od té doby se nic nezměnilo. Expresivní mluva jednotlivce není tento problém.
Rád sleduji tvé příspěvky, jsou oboustranně užitečné. Díky moc. Uvidíme se příště. Ahoj!
I think that the British also use "How are you?" or variants like "How do you do?" only as a routine greeting. A Czech friend of mine who lived in Great Britain once mentioned that when she started living there, her colleague asked her "How are you?" and she gave him a little speech about all her problems before she realized that he was confused by or uncomfortable with her answer.
Hi, Jen, I am not from Prague but I smile a lot when I am not diving in my thoughts going shoping or something. 🙂 But when I meet people at the doctor or somewhere where I stay little bit, I look into their eyes.
What was surprising for me is the attitude when (some) Americans come to you and see you for the first time and same time act like if they would know you forever. And sometimes act like you are best friends even though you know there are things that they don´t like about you. In these situations little bit lowering down the town and just be normally polite would be much better. That is what I feel like "fakeness". Actually this can cause the negative attitude in others when someone acts like this. If the attitude would be just polite - and yes, still nice, than the relation between could be much warmer during the time... and yes, than after some tome you can realize that you really feel like knowing that person forever and want to know her/him more. It is difference between saying "I love you" (really love you, not like you) in first few minutes of your first date or just looking at each other and growing the feelings towards each other in the same tempo... Hope it makes sense.
But yes, we are not so friendly at the first sight so maybe the environment can make the difference. For example when I´m in Egypt, they are so friendly and kind and loving to each other... and still keeping little bit distance, personal space - especially with women. You feel welcome but not looked at as a sexual object. The personal space is very important for me. I like to hug with friends but not with people I see for the first time - and also not be touched (on my hand, arm, shoulder)... I need to know the person longer time - at least from online personal conversations than it´s OK.
I think in the Czech culture: "dobrý den" means a wish. I wish you a good day. It doesnt matter, if the day is good or bad... I wish you to have a good day :) It is not an empty phrase.
díky za tenhle vzhled .... všimla jsem si, že Češi berou tuhle formální otázku doslova. A ať se sama snažím jak chci,- jak zazní tahle formální otázka, hrkne ve mně, a podle stavu v jakém se nacházím, buď - je to moooc osobní a tedy dotěrný dotaz(co je tomu cizímu člověku do toho, jak se mam) , nebo při sympatiích mam tendenci ze slušnosti něco pravdivého odpovědět, protože jinak bych byla přeci neslušná .. když už se ten cizinec ptá .... vím, je to srandovní, prostě člověk zareaguje na "první signální" :) .... nevím jestli je to obráceně chápáno správně .... řeknu-li dobrý den - je to přání, ať je den skutečně dobrý ... takový je původ pozdravu .. že už v tomhle smyslu není moc vnímaný ani samotnými Čechy, není divu. užívání zkrácených a odfláklých - brýden, uummdyden ... apod. jsou časté . Copak bys například Jen řekla , kdyby tě lidé zdravili pozdravem : Zdravím tě! Zdravím! ... ten se také používa(l) ... a význam byl - potkali-li se dva lidé někde ... Pozdravuji tebe! jakési slovanské, šamanské stopy léčení druhého ... k tomu zvednutá ruka dlaní k příchozímu ... tedy - když to shrnu, Češi zdraví přáním dobrého (dne, zdraví) a Amíci jsou ze slušnosti jaksi přítulní ... to je celé. Díky díky, pěkně jsme si pokecaly. :)
První věc (a nemyslím to ve zlém, jen vysvětlím rozdíl v těch pozdravech): Ono totiž když se ptáte "How are you?" tak se ptáte na současný stav, resp. od rána doteď. Pokud máte špatný den, je to špatný den. Co už s tím.
Ale pozdrav "Dobrý den" se týká blízké budoucnosti od teď až do konce dne - nejméně 😀. Když vám popřeju "dobrý den", tak vám přeju, aby váš den od této chvíle byl dobrý, ať už doteď byl jakýkoli. Prostě abych byl první příjemný člověk a od teď abyste se cítila skvěle po celý zbytek dne. Neptám se na to co bylo, prostě vám přeju aby odteď to bylo samé štěstí 😀Nebo aspoň lepší 😀
Oční kontakt a úsměv: Sama si za to můžete - bydlíte v Praze 😉 Kdybyste bydlela na malém městě, nebo na vesnici, kdekoli v republice, no prostě úúúplně kdekoli mimo Prahu a Brno, kde žijí lidé co jim prší do frňáku 24 hodin denně (a když vynechají oběd tak snad i 25 hodin denně 😀 ), tak byste zažívala pravý opak.
Small talk: No, možná že je to přesně v tom, o čem jste mluvila. My se můžeme bavit klidně i o fotbale nebo politice, aniž bychom se postříleli. Vy musíte smaltalkovat protože jste prostě nemocní tou svou agresivitou (nebrat vážně, dělám nadsázku, ale... tady se ve školách nestřílí) a při čemkoli vážném by lítaly kulky 😜
A jinak: Máte pravdu, každý je nějaký a bohužel, právě z Ameriky k nám postupně vlézá "woke culture, tedy zhůvěřilá pseudokultura pampelišek co se urazí i když se dozvědí kolik je hodin, protože "hodiny jsou rasistické". A "minuty ještě víc a nadto jsou antifeministické!" 🤪
S bodem o očním kontaktu zásadně nesouhlasím - na vesnicích to stále ještě funguje (a ve městě u starousedlíků). I v okresních městech (tzn relativně malých) už dávno neplatí, že se všichni znají a všichni se spolu baví. V paneláku je dneska celkem běžné, že znáte jen pár sousedů místo úplně všech jako dřív. Ve větším obchodě neznáte prodavačky atd, protože narozdíl od malé sámošky na sídlišti jich tam je hodně a mění se. Troufám si tvrdit, že teď v Praze se se sousedy znám lépe (a mluvím s nimi častěji) než to bývalo v mé rodné hroudě (Morava, město cca 20k obyvatel). Když přijedu k prarodičům na vesnici, kde jsem se narodil, tak se na mě prodavačky sice v obchodě usmívají (protože si mě pamatují jako malé dítě a ví, od které rodiny jsem) ale já je vlastně vůbec neznám, ani příjmení mi většinou už nic neříká takže se sice usmívám taky ale ke smalltalku nedojde, protože jsou to úplně cizí lidi.
@@krobotak No, já jsem z rodného města odešel už před skoro 40 léty a popravdě, za pár let poté jsem tam přestal jezdit. Kamarádi se rozutekli (jako já, ostatně), a vzhl. k tomu že tam proběhla privatizace, útlum těžby, a další změny jako ve všech městech v devadesátkách, je to pro mě dnes prostě "jiná planeta" :)
Ale oční kontakt, jak si myslím, udržujeme na maloměstě přeci jen lépe než ve velkých městech. Už proto, že si zase naopak udržujeme mnohem větší fyzický odstup. Pobyt třeba v Praze na chodníku mi osobně připadá jako že se na mě všichni tlačí jako by mi chtěli ublížit :)
Takže, je celkem logické, že když už na sebe musejí být lidé natlačení, tak se snaží aspoň tím vyhýbáním se pohledů naznačit, že se prostě tlačit musejí - ale nechtějí.
"Dobrý den" znamená ve skutečnosti požehnání, přání dobrého dne tomu druhému. Takže není to totéž jako "Hi, how are you." Je to více středověké "May the Lord bestow a good day upon you!". Zkráceně "Good day to You!". ;) :D
Zatímco otázka očekává odpověď, požehnání je pouze vysloveno, neočekává reakci. :)
Co se týče "small talk"u, tak to máte pravdu. Je to, podobně jako pivo, lubrikant pro vklouznutí do vážnějších témat a užších konverzačních prostor. :D
Jen, I've absolutely been a fan of yours for a long time now! You're funny, witty, and informative. I always look for you. I had to comment on this episode. I was watching many programs about Prague on RUclips. I saw the small thing of like third graders learning to sing a song. They got up they sang this song, and then they sat down. I was thinking: if this was an American class, it would be you get up, you look at the audience and smile, sing a song, trying to smile, and then sit down, after bowing and smiling. And I thought: what a burden to put on American children to you have to put on not just one little show but two. I don't think it's fake. I just think it's the way Americans feel. I kind of regret it because I don't have gleaming white teeth ( ha ha) also I might mention, I remember your first episode on the war on Ukraine. We watched it and said yeah! But I noticed it got pulled. People are still a little bit afraid over there, huh? Thank you again for all, you do always love your videos love love love! Cecilly Rowe.
Oční kontakt je v přírodě konfrontační situace. Měla jsi kočku, máš psa, takže asi víš, že si očním kontaktem s cizím zvířetem koleduješ o útok. Znamená to "sleduju každý tvůj krok a budu na něj reagovat". Odvrácení zraku znamená "Jsem s tebou v pohodě, dělej si co chceš". Je mi líto, že se cítíš sama, ale vlastně to znamená, že Tě všichni tolerují 🙂.
Není to u každého druhu zvířete jinak?
@@breznik1197 Příroda je různorodá, takže na 100 % se nedá tvrdit nic. Ale kom výše uvedeného se taky u opic, potažmo primátů, zásadně nedoporučuje dívat se jim zpříma do očí.
Useful channel😀
Glad you think so!
I'm about as far from a male feminist as you can get; but man I had an experience on the Vienna train system that just about got me in trouble.
I was with my wife and we had both sat down on the tram. Some older guy speaking german is on the train, sees me sitting there, doesn't say a word to me. Some other lady gets on the train, so I stand up and give the lady my seat. The dude in german then starts berating my wife (and I didn't need a translator to know he was basically telling her she should get up and move-tone and gestures). Let's just say I told the guy off in English.
Some dude being really rude to my wife on a train in Vienna-not cool man, not cool.
There is a male body language code and this dude started backing down real fast, when he figured out I wasn't going to let him be a jerk to my wife.
Jen, that is a great observation, I could certainly add a little bit to that living in Bay Area for over 30 years. As far as being loud, the Czechs are at times very obnoxious with the volume, especially in other countries, and the airports as they think no one can understand them because the Czech Republic is a small country.
Dobrý den ale není konstatování dne 😂 Je to přání. Jinak super video. Díky!
Hi Jen, how are you? 😉 Regarding to “Dobry den”, that´s not just a greeting, it´s a wish. It was used as “Dobrý den přeji” in a history, and got to be cut into this current fraze. But the meaning is that you wish a good day to the person you’ve just met. 😊
Dobrý den is actually a shortened phrase I wish you a good day, or I wish you that you have a good day. It is the same as we don't say Good night Dobrou noc but just dobrou. It is again ment as a wish to the person you are speaking with.
My personal experience with Americans is, that those that I met with, are totally missing an indoor voice. We get taugth from a very early age, that there is an quiet voice that is used in certain situations, like for example in a tram, or when you are amongst a larger number of people. I remember those lessons from very early childhood, when the adults around me were constantly hushing me, that I need to speak more quietly when standing next to someone or when traveling in public transport. So yes, it is a cultural learned behaviour.
Regarding smiles to people we don't know. When you smile at someone, you piss them off, because they think you are having a better day than they have :) It is not literally so, but the not smiling thing is I believe about minding my own business, I can smile at puppies and toddlers, but not adults, that implies already something. Same with eye contact. It is intrusive to make eye contact, it shows interest that is just not there. Especially when that eye contact is held. It is already a communication and that might not be wished from the other person.
So yeah, if you want to show your day is better, smile a lot :)
Also, south of Europe is a lot of smiley than the central or eastern part. I believe it has something to do with the sun and just enjoying life more in those parts (Italy, France...)
Thanks for making these videos, you address interesting topics and we learn quite bit from them. Have a nice day Dobrý den :)
I’m from Brno. When I moved to North America I was a bit surprised with this How and you? Many times I would say - not your business!!!
That's the true Czech I've grown to know and love!😂
Thank you for the very helpful insight into American psyche. It helps me better understand American culture and adujust my behaviour accordingly. They don't theach this stuff at schools. I love how you compared the "How are you" to "Dobrý den" and you are absolutely right. Most of the time we say it as a greeting, not as an actualy wish. Everyone how writes here in the comment section it is a heartfelt wish is not really telling the truth. But you've been here for a long time now, so you probalby know that. The same could be said about "vykání" it is supposed to be a sign of respect, but we often use it even when we really despise the other person and do not respect them at all. It makes no sense :O. Some czech people tend to use tykání when speaking to foreigners, especially owners of Večerkas even though they don't personally know them... and that is rude as hell.
Thanks for a great vlog, Jen. Clearly a great conversation starter for a smalltalk! That expat meeting sounds like another America-bashing opportunity for some. Do Brazilian 'tudo bem?' or British 'How do you do?' generate the same criticism?
The comments here generally approve of the Czech way. About a decade ago I went to a Meet-up for Czechs and Slovaks in San Diego and it would've made a great case for what is not so good about the "mind your own business' attitude many defend here. It was a gathering of small packs of friends who socialized outside of that venue and were not in the least interested in getting to know anyone new. The idea of mingling and getting to know new people was so far off for most of them that I never bothered to go back. My co-worker who is a Slovak and lives in Boston had the same experience there. I once saw about a dozen Swedes with an organized tour sitting around a table in a beer garden in Amsterdam in total silence. Surely no time wasted on small talk!
We're here in Prague on a vacation from NY and all I can say is I'd take "American fake" over Czech authentic xenophobia any day! Not all!! We've met great friendly people on the way, but also encountered eye rolling, rudeness and poor service
Thank you, @celticrain25 for sharing! I am right there with you! 😍 Sorry to hear about some of your not-so-pleasant experiences, I hope it gets better and you don't encounter much more of it on your trip! Though Czech people are just extremely honest, which could be useful at times but it can feel so brutal at other times. 😅
Ad xenophobia - comes from somebody in which's country different ethnicities, genders and minorities are shot on the streets, are being persecuted and or discriminated against. Ad Poor service - I agree with you.
I'm moving to Prague in about 7 months, and now I know what NOT to do LOL. I am from the Southeast US so we are super friendly here. It WILL be an adjustment :D
(As an American who has lived abroad) I think the small talk thing is a way to delineate a healthy boundary, both with other Americans and people from other countries. I do not want to listen to you complain. I do not care what is going on with you. I do not want you to treat me like your therapist, etc.
I am picking a lighthearted, safe topic for a brief period of time to keep things smoothed over and then we will go our separate ways. If I am only in your life for five minutes then it's better we talked about the weather or dogs or cheese and not spread random intimacy that I'll have to delete from my memory later.
This is very well put and I think gets to the heart of why we have small talk.
Thank you Jen for the perfect explanation. Maybe in Prague you should try Irish "Heya" instead. It does not sound like a question. And a question is perfect impulse to give you complete list of my personal complaints and troubles for at least 24 hours.
I am Slovak living in USA so I relate to Czech culture, it is similar to Slovak. You are my favorite person on RUclips. Great video. Loved it. Everything you stated is so true and I understand your perspective.
That was a great explanation Jen, really made me think. I'll hang my head in shame and admit that some of those complaints about Americans do sound familiar to me. Of course those are only stereotypes and people will differ from one to the next. As a very quiet and introverted person myself I'm not a fan of loud people or making eye contact and I used to really struggle with small talk. It wasn't till I moved to the UK that I have started to appreciate small talk and now I'm pretty decent at it, what's funny though, is that while I'm comfortable doing small talk in English I completetly fail at it in Polish which is my mother tongue. It's like I have developed a new personality that can only work in Enligh lol. Like many have mentioned in the coments the English 'Are you ok/alright?' was making me think that there's something wrong with me at first lol. Similarly to the Czechs a Polish person asked 'how are you' would typically reply with a list of complaints or ,as a best case scenario, something along the lines of 'same old'. I used to play scrabble on my phone and after a while I started to ignore invites to play from the Americans because they would always try to make small talk in the chat section and I just wanted to play scrabble in peace, I'm not sure if that's a typical behaviour but it was the case in that particular circle, they would often ask some personal questions about family and stuff and that was making me feel suspicious and uncomfortable, like, I'm here to play scrabble why do you need to know if I have kids.
I was only in the US a long time (...a long time) ago, and I loved (!) how friendly Americans were to me. Seriously. Also, the American friends I have today are so wonderful. I love how you smile and chat on the bust stop - to a total stranger!! And I am autistic. I am an ambivert in some sense... I love my own company and not talking to anyone (quite a lot), but I also enjoy (quite a lot) talking to people. Whether that be complete strangers or friends and family. I dream of revisiting the US someday. I was only 14 when I was there the first time (in the 90s), and ever since, I have wanted to return! I am from one of the Nordic countries, and I love the US! 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Its all about sending out good vibe and receiving it. Gauging ppl reaction , respond or dont respond accordingly. Exchanging information to help each other out. I have background in customer service in North America. We ware always taught a smile or a postive attitude always attract other alike, if they dont feel your vibes(thats ok too) , then you give em space.
I live in the village of about 800 peoples near the German border , so we get a good mix of Europeans around us. I dont find them standoffish or cold at all. I do get some cold stare n weird vibes sometimes but thats around 2 out of 10 times. But for the most part its been generally positive even I dont speak any Czech at all. I would start with a nod, wave, usually "dobry den" but they always say " dobray" or " ciao" to me instead. From there , I can almost gauge if they want to engage or not based on their body language. If you can respect their response you'll be ok . You just have to know when to do it, lets say if you ask them how you're doing , an enthusiastic person would give a whole spiel non-stop for minutes but a person thats not into it would give a dry one liner. For me personally I like to start with a good compliment , as a good ice-breaker. So I come fully armed with compliments and be observant of the surroundings. Lets say Im passing by my neighbors house, I would say something nice about their garden, dogs, cars ,whatever you can see...you'll be surprised how ppl can open up to you. As long you're savy at decipehering ppl response and body gesture , you wont have problems anywhere in the world, not just Czechia.
Last year my husband (british) and I went to LA. Everyone asked how we were and were completely taken back when my husband asked You ok? This is a normal response in the UK but in California everyone was so confused. They were like.. yeah, as in do I not look ok? Eventually he had to stop saying that because it was creating too much awkwardness 😂
Hah! If someone asked me "you ok?" I'd wonder if I looked unwell, as if I were about to faint or something! Or like, if they thought I looked crazy or something. Such a short phrase means two very different things, thanks for sharing.
When I've been to NYC a few weeks ago, I asked people back - And they were obviously surprised that someone is interested how the were. I think I made better day to some people 😁 I think Americans can be very friendly. Nothing was fake about it ❤
Hahaha, perfectly delivered, thank you.
I don't how it comes that my Californian soulmate girlfriend who used to teach English in Prague for 5 years in the late 90s was not like that at all. She was naturally very quiet and from the very first moment our talk was very far from being "small"... So just these simplistic generalizations about Americans or anyone else... She was also quite homesick and was determined to return to the US...
Yes, of course, they are generalizations. Also, as others pointed out, why talk nonsense when you can just keep quiet? Listening to the other person also has value, instead of just asking dumb questions, let them say whatever they want to say.
The smile... Even as a Czech, when I feel I'm actually sharing a moment with someone, I'll make eye contact and if appropriate to the nature of the moment, smile. That wouldn't be in all situations and it definitely wouldn't be on high beam for everyone I meet. For example the government office might be a smile or a wearied shrug, depending on how it felt.
I moved to Prague in 2007, hoping to become an English teacher -- but in the second month, landed a fab job at an English-language business magazine. I soon learned that calling an office, identifying myself and the magazine in Czech -- then asking, in English, if someone there also spoke English -- was a quick, one-way ticket to hang-up-the-phone-ville. In response, I tried to be more respectful, saying: "Dobrý den. Jsem reportéra pro Czech Business Weekly. Nevlumím dobře česky -- mluvite anglicky?" (My accent/grammar were so atrocious that they would often put the phone down just so they didn't have to listen to me butcher the language -- and eventually an English speaker would come on the line.)
After one particularly trying day, I asked another reporter if saying "I'm sorry, but I don't speak Czech" would be more respectful -- and she responded with what I would learn was a characteristically direct answer: "You Americans are always saying I am sorry. Learn to speak Czech, and you will not need to apologize." Very true -- but ouch!
😂 Absolutely correct estimation of danish people concerning the planning 👍👍👍❤️
I was laughing so hard 😂
Hahaha! Thank you, @Rosova3! I am glad I was on the spot there. We have some Danish friends so I got this one from the inside. 😍
@@DreamPrague and absolutely correctly 😂 as a disorganised Czech I had to learn the art of danish planning in order to survive and the I've in Denmark 😁 and I'm still to spontaneous gør some of my danish friends 😅
Irish people often greet each other with “Howaya”. It is a fusion of the words “How are you” in a colloquial form, but what we really mean by it is “Hi”.
Further west in the US I often used the term Howdy, which is short for How do you do? But doesn't commit you to the How are you question.
Do you know I never know that Howdy meant "How do you do?" Learn something new everyday!
I love this video (even more than the others? or b/c it's the latest one?) b/c even after 35 years in NA I still can't get used to the How Are Yous... I am forcing myself. I don't go into what aches me at the moment, but always respond "Fine, thank you" but that makes the greetings long b/c then I have to ask How are YOU? Ugghhh. I am for shortness. Hi!!! Bye 🙂
Thank you, @danilik for sharing! I totally get that! 😍