Pirate DVD Showcase 3 | Ashens
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 31 авг 2018
- Sequelisers: www.sequelisers.com/
Time for Stuart and Alec to take a look at some more not-at-all-official DVD releases! This time we've got G, The Dark Knight, Jaws 2, Cloverfield, and Taken. Features some astonishing mistranslations and lots of badly stretched images. 
Развлечения
I'm surprised you didn't notice on the cover for the dark knight batman had a milk moustache. The pic was taken from a got milk ad lmao.
Classic Angus I know I actually just noticed that when I went onto Google and search that got milk Batman and found this out LOL
Holy crap! It's tough to spot at a glance thanks to the low resolution, but you're absolutely right! 😂
Glad someone else noticed
I had to go back, pause it and enlarge it to full screen but there it is. :)
You are indeed correct, which cements its position as the best DVD cover in existence.
"Bought it for son as he request" Words to live by
Stewart will go down in RUclips history as one of the greatest content creators of our generation.
This is the Zodiac speaking
@@TheCheekPunisher I bet his name was Arthur Loigh Allen
"It's not the bootleg he deserves but it's the one he needs."
That line should really become a meme. :-D
"Bought it for son as he request" was, in fact, an Amazon review. The title was "Bought it for son", and the reviewer gave it one star. One person found the review helpful.
EDIT: Okay, since some people don't believe me, it's on the UK Amazon, not the US.
Source?
I call for help from the Ashens' followers! Let's us all upvote that two years old Amazon review!
I need that source
Headset Guy Source please?
Actually not true i checked all amazon reviews it was maybe removed but definitely doesn't exist anymore
Please put "Bought it for son as he request" on the DVD release of the Polybius Heist
And include doletod scones as a special feature!
@@HO-bndk Hmm, scones ... :9
Featuring Stusrl Ashon
@@HO-bndk do you mean deleted scenes
@@rolfs2165 you mean scenes
Oh yes, David Finchor! He dirocted one of my favourite movies, Foght Clob!
Have you seen the rip off version of that called Thot Club.
Boy, no love for So7on?
XD
That comment is legendary!
You don't tolk obout Foght Clob.
@@WH250398 I'm a huge fan of The Gome.
The Batman knock off cover comes from a "Got Milk" advertisement. If you look closely, you can make out a milk mustach on Batman.
16:11 Surprised they didn't notice that Taken's running time is listed as "Hour 89 Minutes 20299".
“Some men just wanna buy for son because he request”
WE LIVE IN A BOUGHT IT FOR SON BECAUSE HE REQUEST
BOTTOM TEXT
hes like a wild dog
wouldnt know what to buy for son if he requested it
this says a lot about our socie
Ha... Ha... Hee... Hee... Haa...
I thought my grammar was bad.
If, tomorrow, I tell the cashier that, like, I'm buying a movie because I want to see it, or because I have fond memories of the film, nobody panics, because it's all "part of the plan". But when I say that I'm buying for son as he request, WELL THEN EVERYONE LOSES THEIR MINDS!!!
The disc with the tiny Taken sticker is the funniest thing I've seen all week 😂
I once found a Chinese pirate DVD with literal Lorem Ipsum text written on the back of the box.
I once tried to translate part of Lorem Ipsum. Google Translate decided it said "Clinical Is.".
COMPLEX TRIANGULAR RELATIONSHIP BREAK!
HIT THE LEVER!
(why do I feel like that was a conditioned response?)
C-C-C-COMPLEX TRIANGULAR RELATIONSHIP BREAK!
Sounds like bootleg subtitles (a la "Backstroke of the West" or whatever it was called) tried to literally translate the name of an attack in an anime or something.
Sounds like something you'd yell before a freetime jazz improvisation.
@@pascalfarful952 Or an elaborate 3 person combination attack against a giant rampaging kaiju.
i could spend the whole day watching their reaction to the broken english in these DVDs, unfortunally there aren't many of these episodes
You can wait for the next one.
It will come in anywhere from one month, to three years.
My mother recently purchased a pirate DVD without realizing it.
She apparently didn't notice the crappy sleeve it came in, the terrible photoshopping on the back, or the fact the title of the movie was WONDER WOMEN.
Jiggly I think I gave it to a friend for Christmas
I used to play bass for Complex Triangular Relationship Break.
The blurb for "G" is taken from the user-submitted plot summary for the film on the IMDB. At least, the start of it is. Then it goes a bit mad...
COMPLEX TRIANGULAR RELATIONSHIP BREAK!!!
Funny I've heard that as a description of the actual book The Great Gatsby. The Then it goes a bit mad bit.
It's honestly not wrong.
*COMPLEX TRIANGULAR RELATIONSHIP BREAK!!!*
Doletod Scones Zodiac Deciphorod honestly made me produce tears from laughing so much
The Dark Knight Movie Reviews:
"Amazing movie!"
"5 Stars! Watched with kids!"
"Amazing quality! Loved it!"
"Bought for son as he request"
Still more trustworthy than the fake 10 star reviews for Oogieloves on IMDB.
I honestly think the IMDB reviews on The Dark Knight are completely ridiculous. It's great, but... 9/10 avarage???
But Oogieloves is universally regarded as a terrible movie that insults the intelligence of its audience. There's a reason the Razzies nominated it for Worst Picture.
"Never arrived"
"Return process was straightforward "
@@CJODell12 funny you mention That, I noticed yesterday it is now a 6.2 on IMDB!
Doletod Scones is gonna be my future username
Mine is going to be Zodiac Dociphorod
Johnny Takigero mine is going to be “Bought it for son as he request”
Mine is gonna be Dioctor David Finchor.
"For the first time in 30 years we've got all 4 members of Doletod Scones in one place and they are gonna take us through some of their biggest hits."
@@krashd "Including their most successful album: This is Zodiac Spokeing."
I like jam and cream on my doloted scones
Mmmmm... Cornish Clottod Croam and Jam Scones.
Fock
Preferably with a dinner of roast boof preceding it?
@@davovovovovovo
With Shia LeBoof?
In America, we make them savory and call them boscoits.
"Bought it for son as he request"
-Bruce Wayne...
I love these Bootleg movie videos. Thank you Stuart.
*bootlog movie vidoos
goodmeuning
And Alec!
Stuart does not think you're welcum to watch his vidoes.
Theis ar nutural moves, jus fayke moves. Stuert welcombes all god peiple and submarines to witch his vidios ass long az they thump the vidio with lykes
I am living in Shenzhen and we have high quality packaging on the pirate dvds.
Also, where they used to be sold in plain sight, I now have go to a special door and go into a “secret dvd shop.” Makes it much more exciting.
LIke a 'black market' of DVDs?
Roadent1241 Yes: I went to the usual shop and found no knock off dvds- shock. The owner then said “dvd?” After my reply I followed her to the sixth floor, past the nail bar to a bare steel door. She gave the special knock and there was the shop! All laid out as before- categorised and labelled, except moved lock, stock and barrel to the hidden room on the sixth floor.
Makes me wonder if China now also has national collecting agencies that get a cut from the legitimate DVD sales, like other countries. I suspect previously they didn't have so they didn't care about piracy then, but perhaps now they do?
That's cool. They used to sell them pretty openly in Spain but the Guardia Civil started cracking down on them and we don't see them any more :( My parents used to buy tons of them too, until they finally listened to me and realised I can pirate fucking anything in high definition at any time.
Are they all this entertaining, or are these cherry picked?
I once saw a pirate DVD of ET, he just wasn't the same with that eye patch, wooden leg and a parrot on his shoulder squarking "Phone home!" every few minutes.
*squarking*
even the couch is bootleg! damn stuart, you really get in the role every time don't you?
Nice pfp
I think I might have found the strangest bootleg DVD, and not just by the contents but by how I acquired it. One day when I was at college I went to my car to go shopping, and when I got in I noticed something white underneath my windshield wiper. At first I thought it was a parking ticket, but it turned out to be a bootleg DVD in a plain white sleeve and a semi-well done printing on the front. But this wasn't just any old bootleg, it was a bootleg Hustler's video. To this day I still have never figured out why someone left a random bootleg porno pinned to the windshield of my car. I don't even know how long it had been there exactly, but it must have been there at least overnight since it was damp and it had rained the evening before. At least I hope that is why it was damp considering what kind of DVD it was.
Was the actual film any good?...
Putting a mystery DVD in my computer would have been a bad idea so I didn't, and I didn't have a dedicated player. The only reason I know it was a porno is because the disk had the Hustler's logo on it an a couple of naked women. Oh, and a "beaver hunter" joke for the title.
Drunk college kids, bought dvd for laugh, didn't really want it. Put it under random wiper. Not a big mystery, surely?
Well if you live in an area where that kind of thing is easy to get that might be the case, but I live and went to college in a very conservative state that makes it difficult to acquire porn. I think there are only like three or four porn shops in the entire state due to the excessive taxes they put on them. So yeah, if you buy porn where I live you had to REALLY want it. Heck, the reason I know all this is because the campus I was on went into an uproar when they instituted new conduct rules that included monitoring people's internet usage to block them from accessing porn sites on their private computers. They really have a hate for porn here.
*Commented for son as he request*
Jesus Christ, I nearly died at "This is the Zodiac Spoaking"
I recently found a Zorro dvd knockoff that was called Zoppo
Sounds like a film about a clown if you ask me. Mostly because it reminds me of Zippo's Circus.
Probably translated using an alphabet in which "r" looks like "p", like in Cyrillic & Greek.
@@lawrencecalablaster568 Definitely the case. In Cyrillic "Z" is "З" but "Z" is often used for stylistic purposes and in the case of Zorro, it's inevitable.
Sounds like a long lost Marx Brother :p
Soppy
"This is the Zodiac spoaking!"
"Listen carefully, I shall say zis önly wönce"
You guys never heard of Dolotod Scones? Man they are great, you get some cream on those, some proper raspberry jam, oh mate, you're living it.
They are the cream of the crop.
@@rayvenkman2087 Doletod Scones taste great with raspborry jam and clottod croam
Oh my God, I couldn't make it past "The Dark Knight" box. In-tears and can't breathe. Holy shit, it's killing me. That's just plain amazing.
My favorite Hendrik song is "Are You Experienc"
Broken English, the gift that keeps on giving.
This is what I live for, bootleg pirated dvds.
I don't know whether to laugh or just feel sorry for you.
That's quite sad actually
Guys.... it was supposed to be a joke. Jesus man, this here isn't the only thing that makes me happy. Though I will admit, it is rather funny seeing people react to this comment like this.
@@TheMariostarr
It's not like i'm being completely serious either XD
TheMariostarr
You think I was serious?
*WHY SO SERIOUS!?*
"At last, quality high definittaun" - Ashens 2018
I've never laughed so hard "bought it for son as he request"
watched this video, requested by son
Legally changing my name to Zodiac Deciphorod.
They knew who the best batman and joker are.
@Eragor 1498 yes, exactly.
There's a RUclips video from a convention where someone asks Kevin Conroy about his thoughts on Christian Bale's Batman voice. He said something like actors need guidance from the director and that someone should've told Bale that his Batman voice sounded ridiculous. He then reads some of the dialog from those movies in his own Batman voice.
"I Woll Lok For Yo, I Woll Fond Yo...Ond I Woll Koll Yo"
Classic.
G is a gangsta version of The Great Gatsby.
I do believe the Simpsons did a parody of it too.
@@enigma776 south park did it too....we didn't the start the flame wars.
"Doletod Scones" 😂😂😂
Mm-hmm. Those are my favorite, with just a bit of blockborry jolly.
@@Buretsu
Oxactly
@@WH250398 That was so funny and yos it's funny with the Diroctor
I liko thom plain with buttor, maybo raisins, sultanas
Can't wait for blurb which basically is a diary entry
"I watched this with Colin. He tried to get me bra off"
"Didn't get bra off, I give it 1 star out of 5": Colin
Erling Hansen Talk about your complex triangular relationship break...
Thought you two were holding hands! 😂
that only happens when the camera is turned off
👬👨❤️👨🌈👬
Same
this is the best dvd showcase so far, bought it for son as he request
Pirate DVDs? Opportunity missed with the intro.
"Boop beep, boop beep, beep boop, AH-HARRRRR!"
Or like old bootleggers, yeeeee hawww
That 'Dark Knight' DVD might be the best bootleg palimpsest I've ever seen
Would love another episode of this! Absolute gold.
Same here
I can’t believe ashens has made 3 20+ minutes videos dedicated to DVDs about pirates.
TheKatieMonster. Pirates are a Popular subject for films
However this video is only 18 minutes and 40 seconds. Not 20+ minutes as you said.
Oh no, your one of THOSE people :O
@@thekatiemonster3839 you're *
I win above all.
Oh no, you’re also one of THOSE people.
Did the Batman dvd cover just solve the zodiac murders?
Jako Gyllonhaal is the zodiac
Bloody hell, everything's solved the Zodiac Murders nowadays.
*murdors
"Dolotod Scones, Zodiac Deciphorod!"
Yells Voldemort, as he attempts to finally kill Harry Potter.
the credits listing on the back of 'G' are extremely bizarre, since it begins replacing some of the crew names with that of a Japanese production, most likely a 1996 film named "Shall We Dance" (based on some IMDB searching), and it's just such a strange thing to do
Back when the price of DVD's dropped through the floor, I saw some official releases of low budget films with packaging just as well designed as this. And the blurbs were just copied from IMDB, sometimes abruptly truncated because they ran out of space.
Listening to Sequelisers while driving home. Pull up YT, click on Ashens.
Who pops up?
The Ploughman-Ashen Experience!
🤘🤯🤘
Life ALWAYS needs more PvA!!!
Fun fact: Taken actually did come out on UMD properly, but it only came out in Europe. Not that anyone probably cares, but still.
Don't act like everyone is you.
Screw my sleep schedule, there’s an Ashens video at quarter to 1 in the morning
Adam 2:50 here
I must admid, the hands confused me in the begining.
I have that couch. Time to get some of my DVDs and pretend I'm Stuart!
Complex Triangular Relationship Break! aka one of the deeper animoos out there.
I died of laughter when I saw that.
"Bought it for son as he request."
thank you for the amazing video Stuart, i really enjoyed it
Ah yes, Finchor! My favorite Masters Of The Universe character. You never saw him cos he was too busy playing in birdbaths and eating seeds to go fight Skeletor.
"Finchor Diroctor's cut of Allen 3 is slightly betterthan the thoatrical cut." -no one in particular
I could sure go for some tea with doletod scones.
16:25 "Disc printing is my passion"
The 15000 pounds broke me, I have been laughing for a good 15 minutes.
Dicorctor killed me. I don't know why nothing else made me laugh as hard.
It's like someone with a very thick accent trying to pronounce director and that's the result.
In a world of Gray Sofas and Pirates, we have... Bootleg movies.
Doletod Scones
Aaaah I can't breathe!
I think the part that nobody else is talking about that had me in stitches is when Stuart opened up the Taken case and it was just a cd with a shoddily placed sticker
Bought it for son as he request, will be the very words I will use in every product review going forward....
*You either die a hero, or you live long enough to buy it for son as he request.*
I'm sure somebody's made it already, but I want to see a Taken parody where it turns out his daughter is just getting married and he can't cope with the idea of her not needing him anymore.
16:24 My Favourite Ashens Moment
You should frame that taken disc
Literally in tears..😭😂
This episode was hilarious! Thanks guys.
These are your most entertaining videos, please never stop sharing these bootlegs
*COMPLEX TRIANGULAR RELATIONSHIP BREAK!!!!*
“It’s probably Great Yarmouth” brilliant
AchievementBird I’ve got a caravan there and it’s full of the biggest chavs that’ll mug you with a nerf gun
"G" was an "urban" take on the Great Gatsby that came out shortly before the one with Leonardo Dicaprio in it.
That batman picture on the cover of the dark knight thing is from a got milk ad. He has a milk mustache.
I love the Chinese IMDB bios of the actors on Cloverfield.
2:02. “COMPLEX TRIANGULAR RELATIONSHIP BREAK!”
When a bootleg DVD cover has so much bananapants shit going on, you completely overlook Batman's milk mustache.
8:51 "This is proper shit" Yes indeed.
FYI Miramax did have a logo like that at one point in time.
COMPLEX TRIANGULAR RELATIONSHIP BREAK!!!
(I suddenly wanted to shout this, but I also don't want to wake up my neighbor, a nice old chinese lady who would be very much confused by this... but on the other hand it would perhaps be fitting to shout this while one of her grandchildren plays the piano, badly.... a suitable and not so quietly staged tragedy)
Dear Lord Almighty, I laughed so hard on the DK one, I can't remember when was the last time I lost it on this level. Thanks, Ashens!
Local viewers represent! I am from lowestoft, but love these bootleg dvd reviews. Love it keep it up ashens.
Love these bootleg movie/dvd videos. Thank you! Stuart should do another one if he finds more
8:10 This is the Zodiac Spoaking My mothor made me some Doletod Scones for Afternoon toa!!! 😃😄😀😂🤣🤣🤣😂🤣
This is why I've subscribed to Stuart's channel; seeing these pirated movies with Engrish descriptions is always amusing. I was in STITCHES after Deloted Scones.
My day is made.
My Saturday night is now complete with a new Ashens video.
I would love if that was how movie cases were actually done
*Looks at back of DVD case* "Mmmmhhh i wonder what this film is about?"
"I went and saw a 5 PM showing of this movie once, it was quite good"
Excellent, just what I'm in the mood for? XD
Aw man! I loved Batman The Dark Knight The Animated Series The Zodiac!
I LIVE FOR THIS PIRATE SERIES!!! 😍✨💀💀
2 years ago, I laugh out loud at 11:27. 2 years later, I still can't stop laughing at 11:27. 😂😂
I have no choice but to play this on repeat, just for the teary laughs.
Can't believe that the zodiac killer help make the dark knight