Should Couples Cohabitate or Wait?
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- Опубликовано: 16 сен 2024
- Moving in with your significant other is an important decision and should not be taken lightly. Are there repercussions to living together before exchanging wedding vows? Should you cohabitate or wait? In today’s world, it is not uncommon to hear of young couples wanting to “make sure” that they “suit each other” before they make the commitment to marriage. Many want a test run with supposedly no strings attached prior to marriage-if marriage is even a consideration at all. You may not realize that those who cohabitate prior to marriage actually have a much higher (50-80% higher) chance of divorcing rather than those who marry without first living together. Cohabitation removes the formal commitment that defines marriage. It gives each party an “easy out” in case things get difficult. In this video, Winston Gosse takes a look at the question of whether one should cohabitate or wait for marriage.
Highlights:
0:50 - Marriage vs living together (cohabitation)
1:48 - How living together affects future marriage
2:34 - What is the draw of living together?
3:14 - Benefits of marriage without first living together
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Everyone wants to see themselves as the test driver. No one wants to see themselves as the car.
Jane Madison right! I’m about to move in with someone. I want everything to go well....
The same people here that are saying that he doesn't know what he is talking about and is distorting data wouldn't say anything if the other extreme was given. I see this all the time in every video that has the opposite extreme views. The real issue is that people don't want to hear that cohabitation might not be the best thing because they don't want to wait. Patience is a virtue, and if you can't even have that then you aren't going to be successful in any relationship or anything in life for that matter. I don't care if some people might have to wait longer than others. Who ever said life was fair? It is the same principle of waiting to have kids till you can provide for them. If you can't provide for them ever, than you might not want to have kids. It is not easy to hear, but it is really selfish on the part of people when they purposefully have kids that they know are going to be raised in poverty. No matter what anyone says, when you have been dating for a long time, you don't need to "try it out" first before getting married. If you aren't ready to commit even then, you never will. Jobs don't give the option of "Well, I'll let you try it out first." Either you want it or you don't. The same with school. You don't get a pre-class to try out a class to see if you want to take it and get the benefits of it without it going on your record if it doesn't work out. You either take it or you don't. If you fail, it's your fault and it is on your record. You don't get a grey area where there are no consequences and you can have all the benefits. That's called you're not going to succeed if it's so hard for you to make a committment.
I feel like the data's a little skewed. The same types of people who move in only after marriage are probably the same folk with old fashioned values who are way more likely to stay together anyway.
You mean people who actually take their vows seriously? It's a life long commitment, in sickness and in health. If people can't stay faithful to that then they have no business getting married.
The reason why married people have a happier life than those who most likely don’t is because marriage is no game and hence people take that commitment. If you are somebody who doesn’t want to get married because you don’t like the idea of being with someone forever than you just don’t love that person a lot because if you did. You wouldn’t mind.
Yes and he did say that - he said those people tend to focus more and work more on the relationship than cohabitators. Whether that's because they are traditionalists or not is a moot point. That does not actually skew the data.
I agree. Cohabitation does not CAUSE divorce, it's associated with divorce.
It's more likely that traditional people hold similar values and have less to disagree about. Non-traditional people have a lot less prescribed values and thus are more likely to disagree on certain matters.
Why does this not just indicate that people who cohabit aren’t just more comfortable with the idea of separation when necessary?
It's possible to separate in marriage. Cohabitation is getting more widely accepted because a lot of people are lazy and don't want to put effort into anything. Not even their relationships.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 KJV Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.
I have some problems with this:
1) If one partner lives with parents and the other has an apartment...why should the one who lives with parents rent a separate apartment instead of cohabiting ?
2 ) You are downplaying the need to iron out "living together" pet peeves that are a lot harder to resolved if you jump straight into marriage without cohabitating
3) Weddings are VERY expensive. If its gonna take the couple 5 yrs to save up for a wedding...should they really wait THAT long before starting to build their life together ?
People love to stigmatize cohabitation vs commitment as if weddings are cheap.
Weddings don't have to be expensive. I know couples who arranged wedding for the closest family and friends, but didn't make it too flashy. Substance over form.
1)why would that person move out of their parent's home?
2)if two people can't even iron out pet peeves, how are they going to agree on important stuff in life?
3)your wedding expenses should obliviously suit your financial capabilities.
Marriage isn't expensive. People make it expensive. And also even in marriage there will still be things that will get on your nerves. It takes real love to accommodate someone along with his/her weaknesses.
Love the viewpoint! :) Very well thought out and presented clear and to the point. The music did seem a little overpowering for me though. Maybe just tweak it a bit by lowering the volume a little when quoting sources??? Only thing I struggled with when trying to listen to Mr. Gosse. Other than that, I loved it! Keep up the amazing work. :D
The background music was very, very distracting. The message and messenger are excellent but my wife and I were very distracted by the loud music
I waited and I hate it. If I knew thing that I know now I wouldve broken up with my wife waaaay before we ever walked down the aisle.
God Says Wait Me And My Wife Did And Were Still Hapily Married Our GrandPatents Waited So We Can To
Please keep up your good work. Great video
just get married, commitment is for life
Sure wish that were true
this guy is probably religious and speaking for that point of view vs a more psychological and factual point of view...
ok before I start this video the over under is 3 minutes on the word or term BIBLE. I've got over and 10 dollars on it.. anyone else? reasoning is the age of the speaker that's it just that simple. ok start the video...
NEVER EVER MARRY OR COHABITATE WITH ANY WOMEN.... NEVER EVER, NO IFFS OR BUTS, NO EXCUSES OR EXCEPTIONS!!!
Lies
Why?what's the truth?
Y'all what is this propaganda?