I've found that worrying is a way of trying to control a situation, but your brain is so busy working that you can't actually concentrate on what you want to accomplish. It's debilitating, and it's been a journey to accept things as they are and find peace.
My Dad had some great advice for when worrying is getting in the way of life. He told me to ask myself the question: "Is there anything I can do about this worry in the next 20 minutes?" If yes, do it, or if no (and with existential worries the answers is usually no), then allow yourself to breathe out drop it for the time being, and not worry. Now dropping something is hard and reflection is good, but that simple question has helped me loads as a quick check-in with myself whenever I'm really getting in my own way, so perhaps try it out :)
I think the worry wants to prevent something bad from happening, it's even a noble reason, because it’s to protect you... But it ends up being self-sabotage. Because by avoiding living the future worry, you live it all the time… I suffer from that too
I'm also a worry addict. It's ironically a comfort zone constantly being worried....I almost treat my worry like a defense mechanism. Like nothing can surprise me because I've already worried about it. Therapy is helping for sure lol
I love that you referred to worrying as a “habit.” That’s actually a really cool way to think about it because you can change habits. Thanks for the shift in perspective!
Am currently reading the Enchiridion by Epictetus and a couple of quotes from that align beautifully with the message you're sharing: "Men are disturbed not by the things which happen, but by the opinions about those things" "Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life", I personally see this as the Greco-Roman take on the idea of Amor Fati... Have a lovely weekend people and thanks again Nath for another beautiful piece of work :)
I've been struggling with this as well and my therapist just told me, "las cosas pasan en tus tiempos, no en tus expectativas". Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your human journey ❤
Las cosas pasan en tus tiempos, no en tus expectativas = Things happen in your times, not in your expectations This is another motivation for learning Spanish. The idioms are so wonderful!
Me encanta esa frase, pero no sé si la entiendo del todo. O sea, 'en tus tiempos' se refiere a que las cosas pasan cuando te tienen que pasar? Pero que no necesariamente te pasan las cosas que quieres en cualquier momento dado?
Worring is like walking outdoors with an open umbrella waiting for it to rain. When you worry you cause yourself double the pain. Unnecessary worry before something that might never happen. And worry if it does happen. And in the end worry doesn't change things. Live life to the fullest 🌞
It sneaks up on me. It’s a battle every day. Sometimes I forget to fight it. Every job I get I feel like… “well their not gonna call back.” The thoughts get worse. I have to fight for myself. I’m 57, I think I’m older then your parents. Just shows you it’s not something you grow out of. I know it had gotten better, but that’s because I don’t want to be crazy. Sometimes it can be a choice to really take self care seriously. We have to. No one else can do it for us. Thanks for the video. Cheers and have a great day!
Totally agree with you Nathaniel! Worries are fleeting thoughts. They are not a part of who we are. You let them come and go. One favorite phrase I keep repeating to myself in such times is : " Out of this situation only good will come" as said by Louise Hay.
I usually don't really comment on any videos, but I just wanted to tell you that the content you create is so meaningful. I haven't checked out your channels in a while tbh, but have recently started listening to your podcast and it made me feel so happy, calm, understood and connected. I feel like especially nowadays, when life can feel so overwhelming a lot of the time because everything is moving at a faster pace than ever and the future seems so uncertain, I notice a lot of people are feeling super lost and you kind of bring this clarity and meaning to the table that is very valuable. I appreciate you so much for what you're doing! Peace and love from Berlin
This video just appeared on my feed and i relate SO MUCH!!! I worry about many things all the time but lately about my health in extreme. This past week has been so so hard for me like I can't explain. It's so extremely tiring. Wow you said something so accurate "I always find something to worry about. it's Ilike this void that I like to fill" This is so me, all the video it's me and I'm crying bc I'm oh so tired. Mind control is the only way out bc we are facing the mind power in a bad and negative way that wears us out. I hug you. This is the first video of you I am watching.
Hi Cyn, I am not sure about your situation but this constant worry sounds like pure ocd. and there is a solution for that which is stoping rumination whatever the content in your mind is. It sounds very easy and straight forward. and it actually is. the start might be tiring a bit and tricky. It just needs a bit of dedication for a couple of weeks until your brain is reprogrammed to not take things seriously. It is crazy how your mind can change through this skill. Let me know if you need more information. I would gladly help.
The way you ended up asking yourself the same question I have been asking myself for years is just so comforting: how to balance out the trade offs of having that intensity in order to worry less but still be true to yourself (aka the good side of being an intense person). Thank you for sharing all of this! So thought provoking! Stay true, stay present! 💜Ps: this project is awesome, unique and kind, enjoy the journey, it has already worked :)
Have you ever asked yourself.."What would life look and feel like if I didn’t worry?". Your answer may surprise you. For some people, it scares them! "If I don’t worry then something bad will happen!" For some people, they believe, "If I don’t worry then life might be boring!" It sounds strange but many, many people realize, "If I don’t worry then….what? Just feel good all the time?" This may seem odd, but feeling good and at ease doesn't feel natural to many people; worrying and drama feels normal. It takes becoming aware of this, catching oneself in those moments and asking, "Do I NEED to worry about this? Do I truly want a life of drama?" Then give yourself permission to practise and experience what pure joy feels like in life. Is it really boring? Do bad things REALLY happen? And if something did happen, could I handle it? Have I proved I can handle hard things in the past?
Thank you for sharing! I think a lot of people experience worry, especially in current times. Did you ever look into parts work? I especially like IFS - Internal Family Systems, the work by Richard C. Schwartz. It's a very helpful framework to distance one self from thoughts that do not stem from the true Self and understand them more deeply and with compassion.
As a constant worrier, I appreciate you openly talking about this. I also want to say that I appreciate how you’re able to so eloquently convey your thoughts in ways I don’t always feel I can. It definitely helps me a lot with my own mental & emotional processing. And know that we certainly feel the energy you put into your projects, it’s the reason we all continue to stick around 🙂
Hey Nathan, love your content I wanted to ask you where do you find your music for your videos? I'm looking to improve the music that I put into my videos i would love some advice!
Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. From AA Big Book Third Edition Pg 417
Just found your channels. I love your open, honest discussions. You inspire me to do the same. (BTW, I found your channel through your parents' videos on moving to Portugal. Keep up the good work...elaine
You seem like the nicest most genuine person. I don’t really know why, but you remind me of Robin Williams. Loving the podcast! Thank you for your hard work!
John M again Read my comment about acceptance first, please. Now my second most powerful "go to" by St. Teresa de Avila . . . age old wisdom Don't need to be "religious" or even spiritual . . . just take it because it's love. English: Let nothing disturb you, nothing frighten you All things are passing., God never changes Patience obtains all things. He who has God lacks nothing. God alone suffices. Spanish: Nada te turbe, nada te espante. Todo se pasa. Dios no se mudado La paciencia todo alcanza. Quien a Dios tiene, nada le falta. Solo Dios basta. Let trust and hope sweep you up and you'll need to go back and back to them to keep peaceful and strong. You will have peace if you will fold them into yourself. The Divine will do the miracle. . . just be open and use these ways of calling it to you. Blessings, most cherished and worthy child of God. Love, John
Living in France, you should check out working with a sophrologist. Sophrology is a mindbody technique that can help you to let go of worries and connect to the wisdom within. It uses gentle movement, breathwork and guided visualizations and working 1:1 is so beneficial (and generally lasts 8 to 12 sessions). ♡
Love the quote! This is the entire quote My dear, In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that... In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there's something stronger - something better, pushing right back. Truly yours, Albert Camus
Hello, I appreciate your candor, you come across as being a genuine and caring person. Of course, your viewers don’t get it all and that’s okay, we all have a right to our privacy. You have mentioned Better Help from time to time in your videos and would you know, that’s now my job! I would have preferred to write to you directly and simply to tell you that I will be recommending your videos to the people I work with. Without getting judgmental, reality as you share it in your videos provides some escapism from reality as it actually is. I’ll share one personal tidbit, I took tango lessons when I lived in Barcelona. No backup plan, and beyond!
It's very nice how aware you are about this whole process inside yourself - and how that enables you to make the effort to change it. I strongly believe you would really like and benefit a lot from a 10-day Vipassana meditation course (they are given for free). You already are a Vipassana-boy, just don't know about it =)
Nathaniel: I totally get what you say at 2:50...the worrying degrades the quality of what should be an amazing period in your personal/professional life and journey. I have felt that way since my teenage years. There is so much more I had envisioned for myself in my ambitious (yet anxious) teens and 20s. I broke a number of barriers and was a rising star despite my worrying. But, there is a price to pay between our desires to push and grow and live the edges of our capabilities, and our emotions. At 52, I've accepted or overcome a lot but there are still emotional hills to climb and more accepting and pushing to be done. I doubt this will help you, but there is something to be said about acknowledging the worry, asking if you've done all you can think of to avert the crisis, and then trusting that All is Well. All my best to you and your dreams.
Having a backup plan when possible is wise. It’s an innate desire. People who have peace on a daily basis usually have a backup plan. Your worry is due to the life you are living. It’s part of the package so maybe just let it be. It’s human to seek security. It’s part of survival.
I struggle with this so much lately: just as I graduated and made it in my highly competitive field, the field started imploding and less based on merit than ever before (I know we don't live in a meritocracy generally, but when I first set out to be in my field it was more or less a mini meritocracy...just extremely competitive), and since then it's been a struggle to swing from job to job, unemployment, watching less skilled people get the same jobs I applied to and networked over, and the depression that comes along with instability like that after spending over a decade working towards something. Even though I currently am employed the worry's only gotten worse every day at work and branches out like a disease people can smell. The craziest part? I never used to be an anxious or worried person. Depressed at times? yeah absolutely, but worried? hell I was so far in the opposite direction it was insane. Not entirely sure what switch flipped but have some hunches, but goddamn it sucks! Worrying all the time and concrete reasons to worry is a hellish existence
mystic/consciousness healer/energy healer here: the quality of knowing it doesn't have to be this way is usually the most important step - you've got a glimpse into where you're going. The second step is processing and integrating the part of you that does worry - experiences that haven't been processed fully (which is btw very normal and human), are usually the root cause of the worry. The third step is living entirely from that place of soul, of deeper knowing - and then repeating the process for any other internal experience of self that doesn't feel like what you know it can feel like.
Maybe your anxiety is coming from the fact that you are pouring everything into this "in order to be present" but ignoring the real life possibility that it might not work out long term. If your anxiety is flaring up, you can try to manage that anxiety for sure, by accepting that you experience it and probably always will in regards to worry. Or you listen to your anxiety and you DO have a back up plan. The anxiety is warning of danger, now we just try to do the best we can to manage the fear and uncertainty, but we also have to be practical. And honestly, sometimes shit just doesn't work out. So maybe your anxiety is alerting you to that fact, but you're ignoring it. I think theres better ways to manage it, one of which is to simply accept that you have anxiety, and to understand WHY you have it.
That line you said 'miserable but comfortable' hits hard! These topics you talk about deserve so much more attention and recognition cause we all deal with it but yet barely have these conversations!
I felt the part of can't connect to your true ''bigger'' self.When i'm meditating i'm having tons of thoughts coming to me,some of them repetitives,and my body may start shaking after a while because of the stress they put me through.
am kinda feeling the same way, worrying how my life will turn out if I follow certain paths, and its super exhausting.. not just the future but my current situation . what I do is if I cant control certain things I stop worrying about them much.. so far its working out
crazy how we feel the same emotions as everyone. even if they are on the opposite side of the world, and speak a difficult language, or have problems completely different. completely surreal.
I’ve struggled with worrying to, and I’m learning as well that when we choose to be mindful as you have mentioned in your other video that we are focusing our attention on us worrying about our thought and when we can notice that and choose to be intentional with saying I’m not thinking that thought and will make the video any way and enjoy it. That’s great that you are still choosing to make the video even when you feel differently. Im reminded of God and his word- be still and know. God Bless!
Thank you for jet another amazing video! I have been watching your videos for a while now and I love how reflective and passionate you are. Lot of love from Germany 🇩🇪😘
Stop over analyzing things, stop believing all of your thoughts, being worried all the time is it useful? breathe let it go, you are alive, enjoy what you have, what you are
Because you're not present, you are focusing on the future. Just be present and do what needs to be done in this moment. Maybe you don't believe that there is a higher being guiding and protecting you.
For me it was annoyance not worrying, but I believe that the underlying point is very similar. I read a book - Homecoming by John Bradshaw - and it teaches you to communicate with your inner self, to hold and to let go. It's not like suddenly I'm superhuman now, but my underlying annoyance is gone and I sure can focus better on other things in life.
Near the start of the pandemic I started meditation. I never thought it would help alleviate all the worry and BS I was feeling . But in my very first session it touched a nerve and made me cry. Made me realize all the stuff I was holding onto and the worry beyond the emimediate issues. It requires so much brain work, to fight that white noise of worry that can be overwhelming. Knowing it is there is half the battle. From there you can hold it back or channel it into something beautiful.
I wanted to share an affirmation that came to me during meditation last year, that has been helping me; ‘It is safe to feel happy.’ I hope it can help bring you comfort too, when you find your mind going back to that level (worry/stress). I’ve often tried to unpack my own tendency to worry; often a misguided protection mechanism. Our incredible brains, trying to keep us safe, running on outdated automatic programs. I’ve also heard that our brains/bodies can get used to the physiological aspects of stress, so when we aren’t worrying, something feels ‘off’. (Thanks so much for your videos, they are wonderful- thank you for spreading love and connection!)
This podcast has been so great! It’s just the beginning so patience will provide:) I completely understand the way you’re feeling and wow… I go through the same feeling daily! But one way that helps me deal with it is look back at history(beyond my life) and see all the great things that have happened since the dawn of civilisation and remind myself that they didn’t let worrying get in the way of their achievements and I should do the same and that motivates me to put the worries on the back burner:)
Empatizo mucho con todo lo que dices Nathaniel. Gracias por poner en palabras estos pensamientos. Una vez que dejamos por un segundo de lado todas las (tontas) preocupaciones que se inventa nuestra mente nos damos cuenta de lo bella que es la vida y de lo afortunados que somos. Un saludo! 🇦🇷
Why your topics are so relatable!! I am also dealing with same, constantly worrying about the things that actually don't make sense. Love your podcast project ❤️
This topic is most underrated and least talked about. What I have likely understood is that the entire idea of breaking away from the thoughts and the chaos inside us is just to be aware enough to bring oneself back to your pivot, acting as a constant reminder and reflecting on what are things you can control and what you cannot. The thin line in between gives perspective. Thanks for sharing this piece and please keep going!. There is dearth of content like this and this is needed.
Je suis déménagée dans le chaos totale. J’apportais toute une vie dans une nouvel espace. Mon divorce avait teint chaque surface de nostalgie et de tristesse. Mon déménagement incarnait ce changement énorme, dans toute sa complexité et son incertitude. Mon père, dans sa bienveillance de fermier pragmatique me conseilla tout simplement “une chambre à la fois”. Quand je m’inquiète, quand je suis stressée, je me dis encore, “une chambre à la fois”.
Thank for this video ! Really right in time, cause last two weeks I go through same thing, we’re not alone finding ourselves on the emotional bottom because of irrational worrying. Btw, I assume you might have heard of this, but if not, read the concepts of stoicism. This philosophy does help to detach from processes that we are not capable of influencing and finally stop worrying about them. Well, in books they describe better the concept, so don’t make your opinion on my explanation 🤪 and sending virtual hugs :)
Estuve leyendo los comentarios y tenes un hermoso publico gracias a lo que haces y como lo haces. Soy parte de ese publico hace ya varios meses, el contenido y el cuidado que tienen los videos es increible y hace muy bien al alma. Gracias por eso. Conecto mucho con el tema del video hoy, es todo un desafio no sobrepensar todo siempre y entender que no es la verdad absoluta esos pensamientos que tenemos. Mucha paciencia para con uno mismo es muy importante en estos procesos. Ser consciente y tener la voluntad para cambiarlo es un paso enorme. Saludos desde Argentina 🇦🇷🥰
You’ve got the ember started, keep stoking the little flame here. Keep going man 👍🏻 deep breath - you got this. And have more great conversations with people who interest you
Worry is connected to trust. Do you trust that things will work out, or that person will be their word? Do you have what you need to survive if it doesn’t work out? I give trust (and lack of worry) as a gift to myself and those around me. Life is so much easier when you trust in it and those you love.
Also, do you trust yourself to be able to handle this/any situation? If not, what do you need to do to be your word with yourself? I find that adding buffers of money, time, space, etc increase my capacity to trust myself and be more at peace. The more unrealistic pressure I put on myself, the more I worry.
I like that u talk about intensity because I feel identified, I've been always called intense and I think we understand each other. I've found a relief in meditation, I always think a lot and super fast, my mind is really loud sometimes so I have to sit down and meditate from time to time to find some peace
I've found that worrying is a way of trying to control a situation, but your brain is so busy working that you can't actually concentrate on what you want to accomplish. It's debilitating, and it's been a journey to accept things as they are and find peace.
@pickuplimes did a really good peace on this :)
My Dad had some great advice for when worrying is getting in the way of life. He told me to ask myself the question:
"Is there anything I can do about this worry in the next 20 minutes?"
If yes, do it, or if no (and with existential worries the answers is usually no), then allow yourself to breathe out drop it for the time being, and not worry.
Now dropping something is hard and reflection is good, but that simple question has helped me loads as a quick check-in with myself whenever I'm really getting in my own way, so perhaps try it out :)
I think the worry wants to prevent something bad from happening, it's even a noble reason, because it’s to protect you... But it ends up being self-sabotage. Because by avoiding living the future worry, you live it all the time… I suffer from that too
Well explained
I'm also a worry addict. It's ironically a comfort zone constantly being worried....I almost treat my worry like a defense mechanism. Like nothing can surprise me because I've already worried about it.
Therapy is helping for sure lol
I love that you referred to worrying as a “habit.” That’s actually a really cool way to think about it because you can change habits. Thanks for the shift in perspective!
Am currently reading the Enchiridion by Epictetus and a couple of quotes from that align beautifully with the message you're sharing:
"Men are disturbed not by the things which happen, but by the opinions about those things"
"Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life", I personally see this as the Greco-Roman take on the idea of Amor Fati...
Have a lovely weekend people and thanks again Nath for another beautiful piece of work :)
When I tell you that the second you said Camus I knew exactly what you were going to quote 😂 I have it tattooed on my arm!
I've been struggling with this as well and my therapist just told me, "las cosas pasan en tus tiempos, no en tus expectativas". Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your human journey ❤
Las cosas pasan en tus tiempos, no en tus expectativas = Things happen in your times, not in your expectations
This is another motivation for learning Spanish. The idioms are so wonderful!
Me encanta esa frase, pero no sé si la entiendo del todo. O sea, 'en tus tiempos' se refiere a que las cosas pasan cuando te tienen que pasar? Pero que no necesariamente te pasan las cosas que quieres en cualquier momento dado?
Worring is like walking outdoors with an open umbrella waiting for it to rain. When you worry you cause yourself double the pain. Unnecessary worry before something that might never happen. And worry if it does happen. And in the end worry doesn't change things. Live life to the fullest 🌞
It sneaks up on me. It’s a battle every day. Sometimes I forget to fight it. Every job I get I feel like… “well their not gonna call back.” The thoughts get worse. I have to fight for myself. I’m 57, I think I’m older then your parents. Just shows you it’s not something you grow out of. I know it had gotten better, but that’s because I don’t want to be crazy. Sometimes it can be a choice to really take self care seriously. We have to. No one else can do it for us. Thanks for the video. Cheers and have a great day!
You speak my mind, Trish. I'm 56 and the struggle continues. My GAWD, each day is a challenge.
Totally agree with you Nathaniel! Worries are fleeting thoughts. They are not a part of who we are. You let them come and go. One favorite phrase I keep repeating to myself in such times is : " Out of this situation only good will come" as said by Louise Hay.
James Donovan (Tom Hanks): "Do you never worry?" Rudolf Abel (Mark Rylance): "Would it help?" - Bridge of Spies |
"I'm miserable, but it makes me feel comfortable." Ouch. It hurts how much I can relate to these words.
I'mma sue you bro for copyright infringement why are you telling my life story 😭❤
I usually don't really comment on any videos, but I just wanted to tell you that the content you create is so meaningful. I haven't checked out your channels in a while tbh, but have recently started listening to your podcast and it made me feel so happy, calm, understood and connected. I feel like especially nowadays, when life can feel so overwhelming a lot of the time because everything is moving at a faster pace than ever and the future seems so uncertain, I notice a lot of people are feeling super lost and you kind of bring this clarity and meaning to the table that is very valuable. I appreciate you so much for what you're doing! Peace and love from Berlin
thoughts are like flies, you can be bothered or sit in peace with them and they'll fly away
This video just appeared on my feed and i relate SO MUCH!!! I worry about many things all the time but lately about my health in extreme. This past week has been so so hard for me like I can't explain. It's so extremely tiring. Wow you said something so accurate "I always find something to worry about. it's Ilike this void that I like to fill" This is so me, all the video it's me and I'm crying bc I'm oh so tired. Mind control is the only way out bc we are facing the mind power in a bad and negative way that wears us out. I hug you. This is the first video of you I am watching.
Hi Cyn, I am not sure about your situation but this constant worry sounds like pure ocd. and there is a solution for that which is stoping rumination whatever the content in your mind is. It sounds very easy and straight forward. and it actually is. the start might be tiring a bit and tricky. It just needs a bit of dedication for a couple of weeks until your brain is reprogrammed to not take things seriously. It is crazy how your mind can change through this skill. Let me know if you need more information. I would gladly help.
Just stop finding solutions for anything and push through. you will be amazed
@@GermanLifeStyleGLS Hi there. Yeah it's very hard honestly. I'm exhausted 😥 I'd like to get some help
Do you have LinkedIn and can add me there? If not I will just write a longer answer and send it here
@@GermanLifeStyleGLS I don't have LinkedIn
The way you ended up asking yourself the same question I have been asking myself for years is just so comforting: how to balance out the trade offs of having that intensity in order to worry less but still be true to yourself (aka the good side of being an intense person). Thank you for sharing all of this! So thought provoking! Stay true, stay present! 💜Ps: this project is awesome, unique and kind, enjoy the journey, it has already worked :)
Man, your videos are good for my soul. I don't know why, but these 12 minutes, were like a safe place. It is really strange to explain
I would like to say a quick thank you for opening up about this! It is very freeing to know I am not alone in this process
Have you ever asked yourself.."What would life look and feel like if I didn’t worry?". Your answer may surprise you.
For some people, it scares them! "If I don’t worry then something bad will happen!"
For some people, they believe, "If I don’t worry then life might be boring!" It sounds strange but many, many people realize, "If I don’t worry then….what? Just feel good all the time?"
This may seem odd, but feeling good and at ease doesn't feel natural to many people; worrying and drama feels normal. It takes becoming aware of this, catching oneself in those moments and asking, "Do I NEED to worry about this? Do I truly want a life of drama?" Then give yourself permission to practise and experience what pure joy feels like in life. Is it really boring? Do bad things REALLY happen? And if something did happen, could I handle it? Have I proved I can handle hard things in the past?
Thank you for sharing! I think a lot of people experience worry, especially in current times.
Did you ever look into parts work? I especially like IFS - Internal Family Systems, the work by Richard C. Schwartz. It's a very helpful framework to distance one self from thoughts that do not stem from the true Self and understand them more deeply and with compassion.
As a constant worrier, I appreciate you openly talking about this. I also want to say that I appreciate how you’re able to so eloquently convey your thoughts in ways I don’t always feel I can. It definitely helps me a lot with my own mental & emotional processing. And know that we certainly feel the energy you put into your projects, it’s the reason we all continue to stick around 🙂
Hey Nathan, love your content I wanted to ask you where do you find your music for your videos? I'm looking to improve the music that I put into my videos i would love some advice!
My husband and I love watching your updates
Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person,
place, thing or situation- some fact of my life unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being
exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by
mistake. From AA Big Book Third Edition Pg 417
😄😄😄🤪 People used to say to me "Don't worry it'll never happen" - and it never did,which is quite worrying if you think about it,lol,to infinity.😅😅😅🤔🤪
Just found your channels. I love your open, honest discussions. You inspire me to do the same. (BTW, I found your channel through your parents' videos on moving to Portugal. Keep up the good work...elaine
You seem like the nicest most genuine person. I don’t really know why, but you remind me of Robin Williams. Loving the podcast! Thank you for your hard work!
John M again
Read my comment about acceptance first, please.
Now my second most powerful "go to" by St. Teresa de Avila . . . age old wisdom
Don't need to be "religious" or even spiritual . . . just take it because it's love.
English:
Let nothing disturb you, nothing frighten you
All things are passing., God never changes
Patience obtains all things.
He who has God lacks nothing.
God alone suffices.
Spanish:
Nada te turbe, nada te espante.
Todo se pasa. Dios no se mudado
La paciencia todo alcanza.
Quien a Dios tiene, nada le falta.
Solo Dios basta.
Let trust and hope sweep you up and you'll need to go back and back to them to keep peaceful and strong. You will have peace if you will fold them into yourself. The Divine will do the miracle. . . just be open and use these ways of calling it to you.
Blessings, most cherished and worthy child of God.
Love, John
Overthinking, hypervilgilance, anxiety, hyperindependence are all trauma responses d/t fear and the want for control.
Living in France, you should check out working with a sophrologist.
Sophrology is a mindbody technique that can help you to let go of worries and connect to the wisdom within. It uses gentle movement, breathwork and guided visualizations and working 1:1 is so beneficial (and generally lasts 8 to 12 sessions). ♡
Love the quote! This is the entire quote
My dear,
In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile.
In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, that...
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there's something stronger - something better, pushing right back.
Truly yours,
Albert Camus
Hello, I appreciate your candor, you come across as being a genuine and caring person. Of course, your viewers don’t get it all and that’s okay, we all have a right to our privacy.
You have mentioned Better Help from time to time in your videos and would you know, that’s now my job! I would have preferred to write to you directly and simply to tell you that I will be recommending your videos to the people I work with. Without getting judgmental, reality as you share it in your videos provides some escapism from reality as it actually is.
I’ll share one personal tidbit, I took tango lessons when I lived in Barcelona.
No backup plan, and beyond!
You continue to be one of my most favourite RUclipsrs for expressing your authentic self, you are an old soul Nathaniel..
Worrying - is very much inherited from your parents. I watch their vlog. Their behavior is also worry-derived or rather worry-sustained ))))
Wow,I didn’t know I needed this today
Thanks Nathan.
It's very nice how aware you are about this whole process inside yourself - and how that enables you to make the effort to change it.
I strongly believe you would really like and benefit a lot from a 10-day Vipassana meditation course (they are given for free).
You already are a Vipassana-boy, just don't know about it =)
Nathaniel: I totally get what you say at 2:50...the worrying degrades the quality of what should be an amazing period in your personal/professional life and journey. I have felt that way since my teenage years. There is so much more I had envisioned for myself in my ambitious (yet anxious) teens and 20s. I broke a number of barriers and was a rising star despite my worrying. But, there is a price to pay between our desires to push and grow and live the edges of our capabilities, and our emotions. At 52, I've accepted or overcome a lot but there are still emotional hills to climb and more accepting and pushing to be done. I doubt this will help you, but there is something to be said about acknowledging the worry, asking if you've done all you can think of to avert the crisis, and then trusting that All is Well. All my best to you and your dreams.
Thank you for reminding me about it. Similar habit. You should be on @headspace podcasts!
Having a backup plan when possible is wise. It’s an innate desire. People who have peace on a daily basis usually have a backup plan. Your worry is due to the life you are living. It’s part of the package so maybe just let it be. It’s human to seek security. It’s part of survival.
I struggle with this so much lately: just as I graduated and made it in my highly competitive field, the field started imploding and less based on merit than ever before (I know we don't live in a meritocracy generally, but when I first set out to be in my field it was more or less a mini meritocracy...just extremely competitive), and since then it's been a struggle to swing from job to job, unemployment, watching less skilled people get the same jobs I applied to and networked over, and the depression that comes along with instability like that after spending over a decade working towards something. Even though I currently am employed the worry's only gotten worse every day at work and branches out like a disease people can smell. The craziest part? I never used to be an anxious or worried person. Depressed at times? yeah absolutely, but worried? hell I was so far in the opposite direction it was insane. Not entirely sure what switch flipped but have some hunches, but goddamn it sucks! Worrying all the time and concrete reasons to worry is a hellish existence
Signs You’re Picking Up Collective Energy?
Have you read Michael Singer’s The Untethered Soul? Super enlightening about the voice in your head. 😊
mystic/consciousness healer/energy healer here: the quality of knowing it doesn't have to be this way is usually the most important step - you've got a glimpse into where you're going. The second step is processing and integrating the part of you that does worry - experiences that haven't been processed fully (which is btw very normal and human), are usually the root cause of the worry. The third step is living entirely from that place of soul, of deeper knowing - and then repeating the process for any other internal experience of self that doesn't feel like what you know it can feel like.
Maybe your anxiety is coming from the fact that you are pouring everything into this "in order to be present" but ignoring the real life possibility that it might not work out long term. If your anxiety is flaring up, you can try to manage that anxiety for sure, by accepting that you experience it and probably always will in regards to worry. Or you listen to your anxiety and you DO have a back up plan. The anxiety is warning of danger, now we just try to do the best we can to manage the fear and uncertainty, but we also have to be practical. And honestly, sometimes shit just doesn't work out. So maybe your anxiety is alerting you to that fact, but you're ignoring it. I think theres better ways to manage it, one of which is to simply accept that you have anxiety, and to understand WHY you have it.
That line you said 'miserable but comfortable' hits hard! These topics you talk about deserve so much more attention and recognition cause we all deal with it but yet barely have these conversations!
Book recommendation: The Power of Now, helped me understand and face this exact phase that you are going through
I felt the part of can't connect to your true ''bigger'' self.When i'm meditating i'm having tons of thoughts coming to me,some of them repetitives,and my body may start shaking after a while because of the stress they put me through.
am kinda feeling the same way, worrying how my life will turn out if I follow certain paths, and its super exhausting.. not just the future but my current situation . what I do is if I cant control certain things I stop worrying about them much.. so far its working out
crazy how we feel the same emotions as everyone. even if they are on the opposite side of the world, and speak a difficult language, or have problems completely different. completely surreal.
I’ve struggled with worrying to, and I’m learning as well that when we choose to be mindful as you have mentioned in your other video that we are focusing our attention on us worrying about our thought and when we can notice that and choose to be intentional with saying I’m not thinking that thought and will make the video any way and enjoy it. That’s great that you are still choosing to make the video even when you feel differently. Im reminded of God and his word- be still and know. God Bless!
Thank you for jet another amazing video! I have been watching your videos for a while now and I love how reflective and passionate you are.
Lot of love from Germany 🇩🇪😘
Stop over analyzing things, stop believing all of your thoughts, being worried all the time is it useful? breathe let it go, you are alive, enjoy what you have, what you are
The way you were shaking at the beggining of the video made me really nervous myself
Because you're not present, you are focusing on the future. Just be present and do what needs to be done in this moment. Maybe you don't believe that there is a higher being guiding and protecting you.
This guy almost his videos
Is reflection I love it
me too ... having the same issue .... try to only do only 3 major tasks per day
For me it was annoyance not worrying, but I believe that the underlying point is very similar. I read a book - Homecoming by John Bradshaw - and it teaches you to communicate with your inner self, to hold and to let go. It's not like suddenly I'm superhuman now, but my underlying annoyance is gone and I sure can focus better on other things in life.
Near the start of the pandemic I started meditation. I never thought it would help alleviate all the worry and BS I was feeling . But in my very first session it touched a nerve and made me cry. Made me realize all the stuff I was holding onto and the worry beyond the emimediate issues. It requires so much brain work, to fight that white noise of worry that can be overwhelming. Knowing it is there is half the battle. From there you can hold it back or channel it into something beautiful.
no one: nathan talking about the problem of worrying too much while shaking his legs
As always, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts Nathan!! ❤
I wanted to share an affirmation that came to me during meditation last year, that has been helping me;
‘It is safe to feel happy.’
I hope it can help bring you comfort too, when you find your mind going back to that level (worry/stress).
I’ve often tried to unpack my own tendency to worry; often a misguided protection mechanism. Our incredible brains, trying to keep us safe, running on outdated automatic programs.
I’ve also heard that our brains/bodies can get used to the physiological aspects of stress, so when we aren’t worrying, something feels ‘off’.
(Thanks so much for your videos, they are wonderful- thank you for spreading love and connection!)
I am exactly the same and I've decided to do something about it. But not sure what to do. I need to read more about it first.
I had the same reflexion this morning, thank you for sharing this !
This podcast has been so great! It’s just the beginning so patience will provide:) I completely understand the way you’re feeling and wow… I go through the same feeling daily! But one way that helps me deal with it is look back at history(beyond my life) and see all the great things that have happened since the dawn of civilisation and remind myself that they didn’t let worrying get in the way of their achievements and I should do the same and that motivates me to put the worries on the back burner:)
You have no idea how much relatable this video felt! "I'm miserable but I'm comfortable" ...hey that makes two of us😅
It took me 35 yrs to figure this out , so you ahead of the curve. Serenity prayer brother.
fully commiting to something is the key I totally understand that we should shift but not all the time
Empatizo mucho con todo lo que dices Nathaniel. Gracias por poner en palabras estos pensamientos. Una vez que dejamos por un segundo de lado todas las (tontas) preocupaciones que se inventa nuestra mente nos damos cuenta de lo bella que es la vida y de lo afortunados que somos. Un saludo! 🇦🇷
Why your topics are so relatable!!
I am also dealing with same, constantly worrying about the things that actually don't make sense.
Love your podcast project ❤️
Omg 😱 so true same here 😢thank u si much for Yelp ❤🎉❤😊
This topic is most underrated and least talked about. What I have likely understood is that the entire idea of breaking away from the thoughts and the chaos inside us is just to be aware enough to bring oneself back to your pivot, acting as a constant reminder and reflecting on what are things you can control and what you cannot. The thin line in between gives perspective. Thanks for sharing this piece and please keep going!. There is dearth of content like this and this is needed.
Je suis déménagée dans le chaos totale. J’apportais toute une vie dans une nouvel espace. Mon divorce avait teint chaque surface de nostalgie et de tristesse. Mon déménagement incarnait ce changement énorme, dans toute sa complexité et son incertitude. Mon père, dans sa bienveillance de fermier pragmatique me conseilla tout simplement “une chambre à la fois”. Quand je m’inquiète, quand je suis stressée, je me dis encore, “une chambre à la fois”.
Thank for this video ! Really right in time, cause last two weeks I go through same thing, we’re not alone finding ourselves on the emotional bottom because of irrational worrying.
Btw, I assume you might have heard of this, but if not, read the concepts of stoicism. This philosophy does help to detach from processes that we are not capable of influencing and finally stop worrying about them. Well, in books they describe better the concept, so don’t make your opinion on my explanation 🤪 and sending virtual hugs :)
Omg 😱 so true same here 😢thank u si much for Yelp ❤🎉❤
In a past life you were a rabbi in eastern Europe. You just had to be.
Focus on the light and joy in your challenges, Nathaniel, and you'll make it through. You always have. 💖
Estuve leyendo los comentarios y tenes un hermoso publico gracias a lo que haces y como lo haces. Soy parte de ese publico hace ya varios meses, el contenido y el cuidado que tienen los videos es increible y hace muy bien al alma. Gracias por eso. Conecto mucho con el tema del video hoy, es todo un desafio no sobrepensar todo siempre y entender que no es la verdad absoluta esos pensamientos que tenemos. Mucha paciencia para con uno mismo es muy importante en estos procesos. Ser consciente y tener la voluntad para cambiarlo es un paso enorme. Saludos desde Argentina 🇦🇷🥰
His facecut is just carryminati 🔥❤️
I can feel authenticity in the talk & same thoughts here
Ti fai troppi problemi inesistenti...non sono in verità problemi ma normali ansie
I recommend you a sesion of Psych-K
You’ve got the ember started, keep stoking the little flame here. Keep going man 👍🏻 deep breath - you got this. And have more great conversations with people who interest you
I love this project! It's so enriching to have your content on this format. Thank you Nathaniel.
Your videos are amazing!
Also a great way to plug the podcast
Thank you so much for that!!
I SO needed this because same 🥺
so amazing it helped a lot
very relatable! just what I needed today :)
You're so handsome
Trust the process 🙏🏾
You are not alone in this!!
Worry is connected to trust. Do you trust that things will work out, or that person will be their word? Do you have what you need to survive if it doesn’t work out? I give trust (and lack of worry) as a gift to myself and those around me. Life is so much easier when you trust in it and those you love.
Also, do you trust yourself to be able to handle this/any situation? If not, what do you need to do to be your word with yourself? I find that adding buffers of money, time, space, etc increase my capacity to trust myself and be more at peace. The more unrealistic pressure I put on myself, the more I worry.
I like that u talk about intensity because I feel identified, I've been always called intense and I think we understand each other.
I've found a relief in meditation, I always think a lot and super fast, my mind is really loud sometimes so I have to sit down and meditate from time to time to find some peace
❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you
Credit debt?
Haha Same!!
Thank you