I am always 100% me. However, who I am has changed over the past few years (for the better). Having only come out 11 years ago, and living in rural New England, my social opportunities are limited (especially at my age). I attend a SAGE event on a monthly basis and have great conversations with some awesome people, but they are mostly married/partnered, older than me, or not a good match due to personal preferences ( I am not a hookup kind of guy).
Respecting the other person’s time is ESSENTIAL! Also hygiene. I love it when he clearly wants to spend time together. I need to know that he’s physically attracted to me, so evidently the sexual chemistry is vital. I obviously don’t need to be with a Nobel prize winner or a celebrity, but I cannot be with someone dumb or antisocial, because I enjoy being with someone to talk about besides celebrities, and to go out with friends. And I have to be with someone who likes travelling to big cities and beaches!
It sounds like Micheal found a really great guy. His response to the situation was a perect balance. Being GenX, I tend to be capable of handling spontaneous changes with ease. It is as if I have a built-in GPS. Strangely, that applies to estimating time as well. I can be 50 miles from home with unknown obstacles ahead of me and estimate the exact time I will be arrive in my driveway. I don't pay attention to the time, I just drive normally. LOL
EVERYTHING you all said resonates with me so, so much! I value communication (without being excessive), acts of service / kindness towards one another, thoughtfulness, emotional intelligence, sensuality… among many other things. Interestingly enough, I found myself realizing I have a lack of these things from other people in my life. It’s fitting, due to being in my early 20’s, yet at times, quite frustrating. It’s nice to know that other gay men out there value these things just as much as I do, though, and I have faith my guy(s), romantically and platonically, will come in due time. Thanks boys 😘❤️
Relationships on any level are temporary; one way or another they will end. We need to embrace the opportunities we have and be thankful for them. Celebrate the good times and learn from the bad times. Diving in too deep, too soon is rarely successful.
You all mention green flag traits that I agree with. Michael mentioned something about a common courtesy, which, for me, begs the question that, running parallel to the red-green flag continuum, is the continuum of someone’s age. It would appear that younger generations would not possess the same notions of such courtesy as older ones, which could result in miscommunication. With that said, proactive communication is a big green flag for me. An overall great episode!
In deciding the division of duties, there may be one person who takes on the primary role, but adhering to societal role delineation is not necessary. If one person likes to cook, the other may enjoy establishing the dining decor/setting or perhaps the other person agrees to handle cleanup. Then there are shared tasks, where both people do things together as a relationship bonding moment.
Mutual acceptance must be the first and foremost in both individuals especially on the points of view where there is no clear agreement. No one can possibly meet all our criteria.
I love your podcast but, trust me and my thoughts. I’m 74 and will be with my husband 50 years soon. How can you possibly comment on this topic without stating that these are fantasy and nothing you have experienced.? Your comments are not anything you have been able to accomplish or experience. Please please make that clear for your listeners. Sex is a quickly dissolving reason for loving.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and such incredible life experience-50 years together is truly inspiring! We’ll definitely reflect on how we frame our discussions to honor different journeys like yours. ❤
Edward thank you. I appreciate your comment & admire the longevity of your relationship. Personally I do feel defective, a bundle of red flags. Your assessment that these 3 men are operating in fantasy, I don't think I agree. Michael asserted they're all single. Obviously they have been actively dating, and speak from experience. The topic of dating is not quite identical to the topic of long-term relationship.
I am always 100% me. However, who I am has changed over the past few years (for the better). Having only come out 11 years ago, and living in rural New England, my social opportunities are limited (especially at my age). I attend a SAGE event on a monthly basis and have great conversations with some awesome people, but they are mostly married/partnered, older than me, or not a good match due to personal preferences ( I am not a hookup kind of guy).
Respecting the other person’s time is ESSENTIAL! Also hygiene. I love it when he clearly wants to spend time together. I need to know that he’s physically attracted to me, so evidently the sexual chemistry is vital. I obviously don’t need to be with a Nobel prize winner or a celebrity, but I cannot be with someone dumb or antisocial, because I enjoy being with someone to talk about besides celebrities, and to go out with friends. And I have to be with someone who likes travelling to big cities and beaches!
Very well said! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.🥰
It sounds like Micheal found a really great guy. His response to the situation was a perect balance. Being GenX, I tend to be capable of handling spontaneous changes with ease. It is as if I have a built-in GPS. Strangely, that applies to estimating time as well. I can be 50 miles from home with unknown obstacles ahead of me and estimate the exact time I will be arrive in my driveway. I don't pay attention to the time, I just drive normally. LOL
LOL, I posted this comment before hearing Matt mention his promptness.
That's awesome! Great to hear your thoughts.🙂
My green flags in myself and for others include reliability, integrity, kindness, good humour, and good personal hygiene.
Those are solid green flags-reliability and kindness go such a long way, and good humor with good hygiene is an unbeatable combo! 😊✅
EVERYTHING you all said resonates with me so, so much! I value communication (without being excessive), acts of service / kindness towards one another, thoughtfulness, emotional intelligence, sensuality… among many other things.
Interestingly enough, I found myself realizing I have a lack of these things from other people in my life. It’s fitting, due to being in my early 20’s, yet at times, quite frustrating. It’s nice to know that other gay men out there value these things just as much as I do, though, and I have faith my guy(s), romantically and platonically, will come in due time. Thanks boys 😘❤️
Thank you! We're glad this episode resonated with you.
Relationships on any level are temporary; one way or another they will end. We need to embrace the opportunities we have and be thankful for them. Celebrate the good times and learn from the bad times. Diving in too deep, too soon is rarely successful.
"Girl, I am 41 years old. Let's get this going." - Michael. Amen! I'm in your same age range. And I agree, come on men, let's get it going!
Amen to that! Let’s get it going and make things happen! 💪🙌
Hey guys . Listening and following your account from Germany . You do a great job . Thanks
Thank you so much for listening and supporting us all the way from Germany-we appreciate you!❤
21:10 sounds like empathy?!? Haha
You all mention green flag traits that I agree with. Michael mentioned something about a common courtesy, which, for me, begs the question that, running parallel to the red-green flag continuum, is the continuum of someone’s age. It would appear that younger generations would not possess the same notions of such courtesy as older ones, which could result in miscommunication. With that said, proactive communication is a big green flag for me. An overall great episode!
Awww... Thank you so much and we're glad this episode resonated with you!😍
In deciding the division of duties, there may be one person who takes on the primary role, but adhering to societal role delineation is not necessary. If one person likes to cook, the other may enjoy establishing the dining decor/setting or perhaps the other person agrees to handle cleanup. Then there are shared tasks, where both people do things together as a relationship bonding moment.
Thank you for the video.
You're welcome and we appreciate you for watching.
Mutual acceptance must be the first and foremost in both individuals especially on the points of view where there is no clear agreement. No one can possibly meet all our criteria.
Absolutely, mutual acceptance is key-it’s all about finding harmony in the differences and valuing each other beyond the checklist. ❤
I want to traumatize myself just so Matt can heal with me with therapy...
Haha, that’s a bold strategy! But let’s skip the self-trauma and just appreciate Matt’s healing vibes instead. 😉❤
Why haven’t you each found this ideal?
100%
Thank you!
I love your podcast but, trust me and my thoughts. I’m 74 and will be with my husband 50 years soon. How can you possibly comment on this topic without stating that these are fantasy and nothing you have experienced.? Your comments are not anything you have been able to accomplish or experience. Please please make that clear for your listeners. Sex is a quickly dissolving reason for loving.
Thank you for sharing your perspective and such incredible life experience-50 years together is truly inspiring! We’ll definitely reflect on how we frame our discussions to honor different journeys like yours. ❤
Edward thank you. I appreciate your comment & admire the longevity of your relationship. Personally I do feel defective, a bundle of red flags.
Your assessment that these 3 men are operating in fantasy, I don't think I agree. Michael asserted they're all single. Obviously they have been actively dating, and speak from experience. The topic of dating is not quite identical to the topic of long-term relationship.
@@carlorizzo827 Thank you so much for your kind words, we appreciate it.