A Second Chance At Love - The Beginners Guide To Widowed Dating

This week on Wake the F*** Up, Alix and David sit down with Abel Keogh, a remarried widower who has successfully helped thousands of women know if the widowers they’re dating are ready for a serious relationship. Before we dive in to the rest of the episode, we want to give a content warning that this episode contains discussions about suicide as well as infant loss; topics which may be triggering to some of our listeners. Feel free to skip this episode if you need to, or come back when you’re ready.
To kick off the conversation, Abel shares his personal experience as a remarried widower and discusses his work in helping women navigate relationships with widowers. He has written several books, including “The Wife in the Next Life” and “The Ultimate Dating Guide for Widowers,” and hosts a RUclips channel (@DatingaWidower) full of helpful resources for the widower community, many of which have resonated with Alix. The three move on to discuss the challenges faced by young widowers, the lack of resources available to them, and the importance of setting boundaries with friends and family during the grieving process.
Later in the podcast, Abel shares his story of losing his pregnant wife to suicide and navigating life after her death. He talks about finding support systems that are understanding and helpful, as well as finding ways to cope with grief such as running or journaling. The conversation also touches on topics like loneliness in grief, shame around suicide deaths, redefining relationships after loss, and starting to date again. Abel emphasizes that there is no specific timeline for when someone should start dating again but cautions against getting into serious relationships too quickly before being emotionally ready. He also advises open communication about dating with family members in order to avoid feelings of betrayal or mistrust later on. Alix and David can relate! Both hosts share their own experiences with anger towards their late spouses and discuss how they worked through it over time.
Abel is the author of four dating guides, a memoir about losing his late wife to suicide and falling in love again, and co-author of a book with his wife, Julianna, about the struggles and questions they had to overcome to take their relationship from dating to marriage. His Dating a Widower RUclips channel contains over 200 videos and valuable advice for widowers and the women who are dating or married to them.
Suicide prevention resources:
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the 988 Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States.
Call or text 988 to get help. The 988 Lifeline is available for everyone, is free, and confidential. Or visit 988lifeline.org/ for more resources.
Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
Visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website to find a local chapter, get immediate help, or find resources for survivors of suicide loss.
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
Learn more about Abel at www.abelkeogh.com - From there you can find links to his books, RUclips channel, social media, and more.
Learn more about WAKE Wellness
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[@JohnnyAllan-vj7sj]

Good luck dating again when your love passes away. It's more than just "getting back out there". That void that was left isn't just having a partner. It's having that partner. Trying to replace what you lost is an impossible task because every relationship is different. Trying to not try to replace what you lost is even more difficult
"You have to let that go"
"You have to be ok with things being different"
"Be open to new things"
All lines that get thrown at you that are way easier said than done, and they're mostly said by people who have never done it

[@theKatiecoffee]

So good 🎉❤

[@Joy-nl1hb]

This was really helpful. I would like to hear more from David. Also, would have been nice to let the guest finish more stories uninterrupted. But really liked this. Thank you!

[@waketheFUPpodcast]

thank you for your feedback! We are definitly listening and learning.

[@brendabergin5030]

Wonderful podcast. I am.in Abel's group. Learnt so much tonight.

[@johnkeith2450]

As a never married man who dated a widow with no children. I want to say to the widowed from my personal view. Always remember, the other person's feelings are just as precious and fragile as yours. And in something like my experience, while you were out having that great life with your late spouse, they were waiting for you.
If you are widowed and cannot, will not, treat them like you have never loved anyone else. Let them go find someone who will.

[@wigglywoo8899]

Let the widows date widowers...they all understand their situation better. There is no way to forget someone you loved dearly for years. Single or divorced people need to stick together and leave widowed alone.

[@johnkeith2450]

@@wigglywoo8899 No one is asking the widowed to forget someone they loved. The widowed are asked to respect the person that loves them now, and love them like they deserve.

[@wigglywoo8899]

@johnkeith2450 right, and like my mother in law did, rid my husband's step dad of any and all photos of HIS family. I walk through their house and it makes me sad. Filled with photos of her own kids, and not one of his. She hates his kids so doesn't allow them to be invited to holiday meals at "her house". My worst nightmare. She was twice divorced....his one wife died of ovarian cancer. He's a man who can't do anything for himself so hurried into marriage for thr sake of not being alone. They yell and fuss all the time...she belittles him...and she killed his relationship with his kids and "late" in laws. He would have been better off with a widow. It's my opinion based on what I see around me.

[@AP-di8sy]

@@wigglywoo8899 I am sorry but my ex widower chased me for few months. He didn't want to live me alone.

[@waketheFUPpodcast]

Can you explain further what you mean by the last paragraph?

[@user-hs4fu7qu9i]

When you have lost your spouse, people expect you to die also.

[@waketheFUPpodcast]

so true