After five years in Germany, I've remained single. It seems that dark-skinned women aren't typically seen as marriage prospects, only for casual relationships. A German friend, along with a German woman I know, warned me about this.
As a dark skinned woman, I always feel very unattractive in Germany. Never get looks or flirted with on the street. And experience racism and rude behavior.
@@ladeutschevitabyGraziaCosta i agree. I have been Single 11 years now and my 2 kids are German Citizens. I have also Tried dating after my divorce but its very Hard. Like without me lowering my Standard for my prefetred choice of Man the only Option is men who want to be "kept" by a woman you know those who come to your house and just lazy around in your Couch and eat your free Food or the ones who are way too Old Looking for caregivers. Thats why am still Single and Happy .
I know men like this. I wouldn't even be so sure about his explanations or reasonings. To me it is just as possible that he is just a very controlling and misogynistic guy who was mad that you were not as naive and obedient as he hoped and because of that he wanted to hurt you as much as he could. Maybe this other woman was another affair he had and was mad at him when you showed up and ended things with him. So I think it's likely that he just thought of a way how he could make you feel as low about yourself as possible and trying to blame you for everything. Also, after 10 months of dating it is totally acceptable to show up unannounced and if the person cares about you, they will think it's sweet and romantic. You just have to be open to the possibility that they might not have time to hang out that very moment but would be apologetic about that and probably even try to make a little time at least for lunch or a coffee... So what you did was not immature or culturally inappropriate.
Often, racism is the low hanging fruit of insults. Just like body shaming or other insults based on visual clues. It speaks volumes about the person insulting you; they are angry and want to lash out and that's the "best" they can come up with. My guess would be your former lover would have insulted you on something else, just as superficial, if you were German. Maybe your weight ... since that's something most women are insecure about. Or your cup size. Something stupid, something that's not connected to who you are as a person. As for dating in Germany, there are plenty of men who are xenophiles and will be attracted to you. There are others who don't care either way, too. I wish you better luck next time (and stay away from Tinder).
Why is everyone blaming the guy? Your friend disrespected his privacy, either Male or female i will send you back if you show up in my door without prior notice regardless of the relationship. ❤💡
I met my hubby on the app. I was very clear on my bio, i want to date a christian and dating with intention for marriage and the Lord sent me my hubby. But you must set boundaries from get go on the bio and make sure you are dating someone aigned to your values.
You are right about this, but some men just pretend, they pretend until they can't anymore 😊😃
3 месяца назад+2
@@Khulismonica I am also on dating apps, and I did note that a lot of African women - including those who moved to Germany - make "dating/marrying a Christian man" a high priority on their profiles. This is of course their right, but as a consequence it will also cut down their dating pool of German men drastically. Most Germans see religion as a very private affair and being agnostic or even atheist is very common. And those who have a strong identity as Christians tend to be rather conservative, and far less inclined to date foreign women.
Jurgen, you can meet a good Christian African woman this way and she might influence you in a good way to become a Christian and be more happy in your life.
3 месяца назад
@@maximr6576 I am very comfortable in my Agnosticism, thanks. I don't expect that to change, and I would not appreciate a partner who seeks to convert me to her faith. Everyone has their own boundaries in a relationship, and this is one of mine.
I met a German man on a dating app and we have been together for 9 months. After traveling around with him thinking we were in a relationship, he now tells me for him it’s just a friendship and not a relationship. So ladies be on the lookout for such men, they just go on dating apps to exploit black women. I know this man is on the dating app again looking for his next victim. Maybe We should be putting their pictures up so we can protect other sisters from these predators.
I am so sorry that happened to you,This is so true , Most German men are never serious with relationships, they want relationship benefits without being in a relationship, and most of them in the dating apps are just like that,
Whoa. That guy was majorly disrespectful and should have stated from the beginning his interest and actual feelings, yuck on him for lying and being gross about it. I think that the interactions between men and women in Germany are interesting to observe as a non-German. They also have a unique tango that works for them and those adjacent if that makes any sense. I do feel I could write an essay on the topic of being married to a German just as much as my husband could write a novel about being married to a black American. 😝🤣 The Schrebergartens by you look very nice! I enjoy taking my daughter out to the farmland near us to play too!
Genau, different cultures in marriages or relationships is something that is not frequently talked about but the cultural differences are so huge and some relationships are ready to withstand that …. Yes those gardens are really therapeutic to even walk around
"The woman you saw is just my friend" is a lie for sure. "It was just a quest" can be true but why to waste 10 months for a quest? Can be a lie so the woman will not even try to get back with him.
Having children is a pretty Big Deal. You might have noticed that Germans tend to have fairly small family sizes, since children are a very expensive investment for at least two decades, if not more. And due to the German pension system, children aren't expected to take care of their parents as much as in other cultures. Thus, many Germans are leery of the investment. And if a potential partner already has children, then they will worry what kinds of responsibilities they would have to take on for the children in a longer relationship.
😀😀so they are just thinking ahead and avoiding future problems 😀
3 месяца назад+1
@@Mercysm. Could be. Of course, it very much depends on the individual person and their motivations - Germans are as varied as anyone else. But if you look around, you might notice how few children are around when compared to most African countries. Having children is much more a matter of personal choice, rather than social expectations - and many choose not to have them.
In Africa it’s a societal expectation and I think that’s where there’s a problem, some people just have them even if they don’t want to because of the fear of what the society will say or what will become of them at old age because they think the children will take care of them, which is so different with Germans
I know friends who found beautiful relationships from tinder. But it's not the norm. Also some people just don't take relationships serious. Either even though you say you're in a serious relationship they don't think of the future. Sometimes they also don't have the emotional ability to form deep conections. I'm so sorry that happened to your friend and that he said these hurtful things. Such a racist idiot.
It also happened to me two times that we were dating they were saying such sweet things and doing so many sweet things and taking time for me but then be surprised I thought it was something serious. After that fist time that happened to me I thought next time I communicate better. But second guy he said he had feelings for me and want to seriously try, and I thought I'd told him I'd prefer concentrating on each other and not date other people and tell if there is something going on with other people but he interpreted it the opposite. I found that out 3 months later. He was also surprised that I had thought he had romantic feelings for me and he said he had feelings like friendship feelings. And that he wanted to seriously try being serious but thought we were just casual now cause the trying didn't work yet. Wow.
My advice is do group activities with other people, volunteering, sports, etc, get to know the people you are interested in, build a frienship foundation and then when you know they communicate good and truthful go a romantic route. That's how I found my love. 4 years growing strong
Baby girl you made a huge mistake to go to someone house without telling him,that is an african behaviour tabiya za kwenda kufumaniya sasa umemkosa mzungu ,
😃😃😃 anybody can do that not just African, also wazungu are just normal people there is nothing special in them , alafu siyo wote wakona pesa, most of them ni maskini hata kutuliko
Don't give up on love. Everybody's story is different. Your case is not the first, sad though. Here in your country Kenya, I have heard of couples living together and one day the man wakes up and announces that he is getting married, to the surprise of many, a different woman, still in Kenya. The live-in girlfriend got to pack and leave. 😢. Others say just like the white guy though black, they use a girl and say they can't marry from that tribe. Even parents here are not different, I know of many that did not approve their children marrying a different tribes. That affects the relationship too. Your story is not an expectation and do not let the devil go to bed smiling. Let Satan know its not over yet, Jesus still working on you. Internet is not a bad place, you are using Internet to communicate with us, you probably starting your journey to Germany by Internet. Internet is good , the only problem is that it does not sort out the bad and good, we have got to do that using our brains because it's also here to stay, so embrace it. Did I say you're such pretty woman?
African women we must understand other peoples culture. Showing up at his house when his culture would require you to notify him is just off .....huko sio ushagoo ya kwenu 😂😂😂😂😂
Why is everyone blaming the guy? Your friend disrespected his privacy, either Male or female i will send you back if you show up in my door without prior notice regardless of the relationship. ❤💡
You a strong woman sis❤❤
You deserve better
Thank you 🤩🥰
Yeah, dating this day is hectic. But they are still good men. Pray and have faith. Love video.
Yeaa there are some good men but so rare to find 😃🤗
OMG I love your videos 😊❤ I always watch, they teach us a lot, thank you
Thank you for always supporting me man it’s means aloooot😍 I am happy you enjoy my videos
You are so calm and have such a nice voice.
Oh wow thank you so much 😊😍🥰 and thanks for watching too
I watched your video till end.Eish 😢what a loser he is.Nxiim.
I'm sorry you went through that shit.You're beautiful and deserve better❤
Thank you 😭🥰
Wow, what a terrible man. I’m glad your friend trusted her intuition and just showed up. Imagine how much more of her time he could have wasted.
Some men are just so terrible and hard to deal with 🥹😌
After five years in Germany, I've remained single. It seems that dark-skinned women aren't typically seen as marriage prospects, only for casual relationships. A German friend, along with a German woman I know, warned me about this.
The truth is it's so hard being a single black woman in Germany and knowing that most people you'll meet will never take you seriously 😒
@@Mercysm. they do not want to race mix. simple
As a dark skinned woman, I always feel very unattractive in Germany. Never get looks or flirted with on the street. And experience racism and rude behavior.
@smithhbea I am so sorry to hear about this, you are so beautiful, don’t anybody make you feel otherwise
@@ladeutschevitabyGraziaCosta i agree. I have been Single 11 years now and my 2 kids are German Citizens. I have also Tried dating after my divorce but its very Hard. Like without me lowering my Standard for my prefetred choice of Man the only Option is men who want to be "kept" by a woman you know those who come to your house and just lazy around in your Couch and eat your free Food or the ones who are way too Old Looking for caregivers. Thats why am still Single and Happy .
I know men like this. I wouldn't even be so sure about his explanations or reasonings. To me it is just as possible that he is just a very controlling and misogynistic guy who was mad that you were not as naive and obedient as he hoped and because of that he wanted to hurt you as much as he could. Maybe this other woman was another affair he had and was mad at him when you showed up and ended things with him. So I think it's likely that he just thought of a way how he could make you feel as low about yourself as possible and trying to blame you for everything. Also, after 10 months of dating it is totally acceptable to show up unannounced and if the person cares about you, they will think it's sweet and romantic. You just have to be open to the possibility that they might not have time to hang out that very moment but would be apologetic about that and probably even try to make a little time at least for lunch or a coffee... So what you did was not immature or culturally inappropriate.
Wow thank you so much 😊❤️ this is so encouraging ,for a moment the decision of showing up unannounced felt like an immature decision
@cherrycherryreikikirschblu2185 I am so sorry you went through that 😭😭😭 some men are so evil, OMG I hate him too, sending you love😘
@cherrycherryreikikirschblu2185 yes that is something that just don’t go away 😆 it’s in him
Often, racism is the low hanging fruit of insults. Just like body shaming or other insults based on visual clues.
It speaks volumes about the person insulting you; they are angry and want to lash out and that's the "best" they can come up with.
My guess would be your former lover would have insulted you on something else, just as superficial, if you were German. Maybe your weight ... since that's something most women are insecure about. Or your cup size. Something stupid, something that's not connected to who you are as a person.
As for dating in Germany, there are plenty of men who are xenophiles and will be attracted to you. There are others who don't care either way, too. I wish you better luck next time (and stay away from Tinder).
9:04 9:40 9:41 😢😢😢 10:24 8🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉😊🎉😮😢8⃣ 8⃣ 🎉7😊7776🎉⁷⁶6779⁶⁶7⁶ü665 ü665 11:55 11:56 😅😢😅😅😅⁶ii😅7⃣ 😢797⃣ 7⃣ 7?7⃣ also 🎉das 😅56😅⅞i😮ist😅 6ü6ü7⁶6 13:17 7 13:20 😢😮😅?🎉 10:16 😢😅
very nice vedio Mercysm. Thank you. Sorry about that butbyou are such anice and beautiful lady. You will get some one better.
Thank you so much, you are so kind 😊
Why is everyone blaming the guy? Your friend disrespected his privacy, either Male or female i will send you back if you show up in my door without prior notice regardless of the relationship. ❤💡
🤣🤣🤣🤣but… but…
@@whizwisperwonders his privacy is not his anymore after they are in a relationship for 10 months. The guy is trash.
Thank you for saying this! What’s privacy when you have allowed someone in your life ?
You had us in the first half, not gonna lie. I know you and your hubby and was like what😂😂
😄😄😄things happen don’t be surprised 😀
I can't wait to watch
Run and watch 🙈🙈🤗
I met my hubby on the app. I was very clear on my bio, i want to date a christian and dating with intention for marriage and the Lord sent me my hubby. But you must set boundaries from get go on the bio and make sure you are dating someone aigned to your values.
You are right about this, but some men just pretend, they pretend until they can't anymore 😊😃
@@Khulismonica I am also on dating apps, and I did note that a lot of African women - including those who moved to Germany - make "dating/marrying a Christian man" a high priority on their profiles.
This is of course their right, but as a consequence it will also cut down their dating pool of German men drastically. Most Germans see religion as a very private affair and being agnostic or even atheist is very common. And those who have a strong identity as Christians tend to be rather conservative, and far less inclined to date foreign women.
This is true most people with strong religious beliefs or cultural beliefs are so reserved and not open minded
Jurgen, you can meet a good Christian African woman this way and she might influence you in a good way to become a Christian and be more happy in your life.
@@maximr6576 I am very comfortable in my Agnosticism, thanks. I don't expect that to change, and I would not appreciate a partner who seeks to convert me to her faith.
Everyone has their own boundaries in a relationship, and this is one of mine.
Oh no i didn’t expect the ending 💔💔
It’s not easy🥹🥹
You said you will put the apps in the description box but l can't find anything
I put the names there check again
You show up at my house uninvited from 3 hours away I’m calling the cops 😂
😂😂 I guess you can only do that if you knew you were doing something wrong
Here rewatching..I was at work 🎉🎉🎉
Thank you 🙏 so much I appreciate it 😍
Can we consider that the price of dating outside the race?
It’s so high especially with the differences in cultures, and the culture shocks that gets people
I met a German man on a dating app and we have been together for 9 months. After traveling around with him thinking we were in a relationship, he now tells me for him it’s just a friendship and not a relationship. So ladies be on the lookout for such men, they just go on dating apps to exploit black women. I know this man is on the dating app again looking for his next victim. Maybe We should be putting their pictures up so we can protect other sisters from these predators.
I am so sorry that happened to you,This is so true , Most German men are never serious with relationships, they want relationship benefits without being in a relationship, and most of them in the dating apps are just like that,
Whoa. That guy was majorly disrespectful and should have stated from the beginning his interest and actual feelings, yuck on him for lying and being gross about it. I think that the interactions between men and women in Germany are interesting to observe as a non-German. They also have a unique tango that works for them and those adjacent if that makes any sense. I do feel I could write an essay on the topic of being married to a German just as much as my husband could write a novel about being married to a black American. 😝🤣
The Schrebergartens by you look very nice! I enjoy taking my daughter out to the farmland near us to play too!
Genau, different cultures in marriages or relationships is something that is not frequently talked about but the cultural differences are so huge and some relationships are ready to withstand that …. Yes those gardens are really therapeutic to even walk around
😢😢so painful nyar konyango
Painful nyowuoyo gigi tek
I thought you were married! Im getting confused
😄😄😄 you didn't watch the whole of it 😄
nice videos
Thank youuuu so much 😍❤️
"The woman you saw is just my friend" is a lie for sure. "It was just a quest" can be true but why to waste 10 months for a quest? Can be a lie so the woman will not even try to get back with him.
Yeah, I think he was just pushing her away for good, but men normally come back 😃😃😃
Oh my God! Wacha nitafute tu bwana huku😂
@@mourineadhiambo9119 😂😂tafuta tu bwana huko owada atleast atleast hatakujudge na skin colour yako
I think it's mostly that you have kids from previous relationships. No one takes seriously such women here.
@@teoleno4019 😀😊 okay I had no idea 😀
Having children is a pretty Big Deal. You might have noticed that Germans tend to have fairly small family sizes, since children are a very expensive investment for at least two decades, if not more. And due to the German pension system, children aren't expected to take care of their parents as much as in other cultures.
Thus, many Germans are leery of the investment. And if a potential partner already has children, then they will worry what kinds of responsibilities they would have to take on for the children in a longer relationship.
😀😀so they are just thinking ahead and avoiding future problems 😀
@@Mercysm. Could be. Of course, it very much depends on the individual person and their motivations - Germans are as varied as anyone else.
But if you look around, you might notice how few children are around when compared to most African countries. Having children is much more a matter of personal choice, rather than social expectations - and many choose not to have them.
In Africa it’s a societal expectation and I think that’s where there’s a problem, some people just have them even if they don’t want to because of the fear of what the society will say or what will become of them at old age because they think the children will take care of them, which is so different with Germans
Ooh sorrry you will get someone better
@@eltonmachowa5422 thank you 🙈🤗
No.She will not.
😀😀why please 🥺
I know friends who found beautiful relationships from tinder. But it's not the norm. Also some people just don't take relationships serious. Either even though you say you're in a serious relationship they don't think of the future. Sometimes they also don't have the emotional ability to form deep conections.
I'm so sorry that happened to your friend and that he said these hurtful things. Such a racist idiot.
It also happened to me two times that we were dating they were saying such sweet things and doing so many sweet things and taking time for me but then be surprised I thought it was something serious. After that fist time that happened to me I thought next time I communicate better. But second guy he said he had feelings for me and want to seriously try, and I thought I'd told him I'd prefer concentrating on each other and not date other people and tell if there is something going on with other people but he interpreted it the opposite. I found that out 3 months later. He was also surprised that I had thought he had romantic feelings for me and he said he had feelings like friendship feelings. And that he wanted to seriously try being serious but thought we were just casual now cause the trying didn't work yet. Wow.
My advice is do group activities with other people, volunteering, sports, etc, get to know the people you are interested in, build a frienship foundation and then when you know they communicate good and truthful go a romantic route. That's how I found my love. 4 years growing strong
Wow❤️😘 I am so happy for you, dating world is so messed up out here and true love is hard to come by , wishing you the everlasting love
Baby girl you made a huge mistake to go to someone house without telling him,that is an african behaviour tabiya za kwenda kufumaniya sasa umemkosa mzungu ,
😃😃😃 anybody can do that not just African, also wazungu are just normal people there is nothing special in them , alafu siyo wote wakona pesa, most of them ni maskini hata kutuliko
Don't give up on love. Everybody's story is different. Your case is not the first, sad though. Here in your country Kenya, I have heard of couples living together and one day the man wakes up and announces that he is getting married, to the surprise of many, a different woman, still in Kenya. The live-in girlfriend got to pack and leave. 😢. Others say just like the white guy though black, they use a girl and say they can't marry from that tribe. Even parents here are not different, I know of many that did not approve their children marrying a different tribes. That affects the relationship too. Your story is not an expectation and do not let the devil go to bed smiling. Let Satan know its not over yet, Jesus still working on you. Internet is not a bad place, you are using Internet to communicate with us, you probably starting your journey to Germany by Internet. Internet is good , the only problem is that it does not sort out the bad and good, we have got to do that using our brains because it's also here to stay, so embrace it. Did I say you're such pretty woman?
Thank you , this is well put out ☺️ everyone story is different
African women we must understand other peoples culture. Showing up at his house when his culture would require you to notify him is just off .....huko sio ushagoo ya kwenu 😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂that's why they don't like commitment
Hakuna kitu kama culture hapo😄😄 huyo ni player tu 😄😄
😂😂Omg a cheater?
😄😄
Divesting gone wrong 😂😂😂
It's not easy with love I tell you 😃😃😃
Why is everyone blaming the guy? Your friend disrespected his privacy, either Male or female i will send you back if you show up in my door without prior notice regardless of the relationship. ❤💡
🤣🤣😂😂😂 please