The first most important thing as it comes to reducing toxic shame is to reduce the pace of the socio-cultural environment. Today's western culture is too much in competition and isolating people that think differently, too high pace, too much pressure, significant lack of space for people that don't go with the flow with almost no places for quiet, sensitive, introverted and intuitive people like us. This process begins from the family environment. Never race your child to feel ashamed that he or she is quiet, sensitive, introverted and intuitive. Instead implement the idea of „You are like this because there is something meant for you to be, something unique and no other can be like you, but in order to find what it is you have to embrace yourself. You see others as flawless, but it's never like this. Everyone hides something from others or from there own self's. To question your self is the first step of building your power.“ We are all particles from the realm of limitless and because of that we have so many things inside of us that overwhelm our ability to cope with them, but that's the magic of life. Imagine what will be if everything was clear cut.
@@sigmainfjbulgaria4478wow what an amazing comment! I agree it's so hard to find spaces to feel embraced with our infj-ness, but also to bear the pain of opening ourselves up to our unique brilliance and accepting potential abandonment ❤❤ Everyone is hiding something about themselves anyway; in that way we're not that different!
Living through a childhood of Hatred from my father and the physical abuse and violence that this kept bringing to me every time he came home from the road my father would start in telling me i was not his child and he did not feel responsible for feeding me. I learned from the age 2 too stay out of the Way of my father. My father came to terms with me by around age 8 but the violence had changed me and did not understand this madness until I was second year in the Navy at 19 and I had married and it kept coming up, fortunately I was never abandoned by Jesus Christ and I was able to make a marriage of almost 50 years. Can say that as you move through life you learn many of the strategies that you are teaching. Very Happy for your Program and your gift of teaching. Thank you
I have literally made a career from this characteristic. I'm an Occupational Therapist working in a mental health setting. My job is to find the potential in my patients and to bring out. It has taken years to work out that this is not always accurate or possible. Very humbling lesson to learn.
That is so me! It helps me to know it's an INFJ thing. I fell for a man's potential and married him, believing all his explanations for why he had failed (always blaming someone else) and believing that together we could accomplish anything. I was soooooo wrong! I always tended toward gullibility, naivete, and idealism. I'm better now. Not bitter, just more realistic about people, including myself. Thanks for this video.
We might have all of the ideas but bringing them out is not our strong point...the truth triggers them. OMG so true!!!! They can't face that part of themselves...Yes. They have done it my whole life. Yes. Being all that we are feels like dying. So we project onto someone else. All so true. Wow....
Your videos are healing me from a deep depression that I have been struggling with for years. As an INFJ male, I have never understood myself as much as I have through your videos. I will never be able to put into words what your work has done for me. Thank you!
Consider my butt well and truly kicked forward. This is not what I wanted to hear. It's what I needed to hear. Now to take steps forward for myself; as me.
Wow...tying SE under-functioning to infj toxic shame! Thank you, Wenzes. It's like you shone a light in a dark corner I was trying to see. Accepting that SE is a weak under-developed muscle gives me the conscious intention to accep this as a life purpose, build it with humility, and not become over-inflated with pride and arrogance (with Ni capability) to cover up the hidden shame. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 In addition, the fear of being abandoned when we do exercise the SE muscle. Every time I do bring ideas into reality, I deal with folks going quiet and it hurts. We have to build that emotional resilience and let it be as is and keep going.
Yeah I know my sister can be a complete asshole, and I can be ,slightly blunt with my words and they immediately attack me, and call me insensitive, but with my sister they just say," oh that's just her,and just accept that about her.🙁
I used to tolerate ppl who didn't deserve my time because I saw potential. No more. If someone hasn't impressed me with their own talent and MOTIVATION [what is always missing in my "potential" picks] within about a half dozen meetings / jam sessions / dates I move on. I wasted so much time with talented losers who could not believe in themselves and had no direction or motivation in life. Never again.
I feel you. Did the same with my friends. Not matter how much I supported them, cheered and encouraged them - no changes for years. They didn't want to put any effort to helping themselves. However the complains on life being difficult never stopped. Yeah I wonder why..
This has been extremely helpful for me. I've recently ended a relationship where I saw amazing and unrealistic potential in another and likely fell in love with my fantasy of him. It obviously didn't work but I clearly saw what I was doing afterward. Now I am focused on expressing my own potential and I so appreciate your insight and encouragement to stay on this path. Also, now, when I get a little lonely, I remind myself to stay on my path and focus on the work I feel called to do. Once fully grounded in expressing my own potential, then, maybe, I could open up to being with another. THANK YOU!
My hubby is so codependent on me, he even gave up things he loves for me, I feel so angry at him because I feel he makes me the bad person because he's not happy because he loves me ,I have had it with him ,I kept trying to encourage to be happy ,to grow but he just doesn't seem to want to.
My family, particularly my younger sister, have come right out and stated that I “make people uncomfortable”. Given how much I cared for, and did to help my (rather dysfunctional) family, this totally confused me at the time. Now I get it thanks to videos like this. Eventually my entire family abandoned me (after using me in helping them out of their many financial binds). Yes, it was my choice, I “sacrificed” in order to avoid the recurring rejection and betrayal. My family is mostly sensor types, immigrants with lots of generational trauma, enmeshment, and repressive attitudes. I’m free of them now, but It’s pretty tough facing a life without a single family member willing to step up (against key narcissistic family members), but it’s better than trying to fit in. So In my older years, I’m discovering this stuff, and what I’m here to do (if it’s not too late). Thanks Wenzes, you articulate everything so well. Very helpful!
Years ago I saw a "Peanuts" cartoon where Charlie Brown made the observation that "There is no greater burden than that of a great potential.' "I identified with it wholeheartedly, as I have have had some interesting - and sometimes hurtful - experiences with "potential." The music and art gene runs strong in my family, as does an ease in public speaking - and the problem was that people often expected the world with a fence around it from me. And guess what. I am not a pianist like Richard Clayderman, I am not an artist like Vermeer (Dutch ancestry notwithstanding) and my "public speaking is mostly confined to a classroom. And with SE as the weakest in my function stack, well - you get the idea. Getting out there and taking action was something I could do - sort of - but after a sustained amount of it, I wanted to go home and stare at the wall for a while. As a teacher, I look for potential in students. I can mention it to them and encourage them, but I know perfectly well they are going to have to make it work, and no matter how strong they are, and no matter how much "potential" is there, developing it isn't always going to be easy. In fact, it can be scary. But I try to assure them that it can be done. If SE comes easy to them, great. If it doesn't, it can still be done. I appreciated it when you mentioned that people want to be accepted the way they are now and not just in "the future." And I believe that we INFJs can be very good at doing that for others
Holy effing feck - this is one of your very best videos ever, at least for me. I just made four pages of notes so that I never forget it. Thank you so very much!!❣
I’d like to contribute, or rather, help you identify. What I am almost certain is the explanation for seeing potential in others and the involvement of toxic shame. I haven’t spoken to 100’s of infjs, but I have about 100 voices in my head. 😮😂😂 But real talk though. I think when you think of this angle, it’s likely what’s going on. Psychology. Regardless of what literature says. It sure has always been for me. First. I believe our cognitive function stack is a direct result of trauma. When we split, a new self state was created and took over. We weren’t and aren’t (inherently) special or, mic drop, any more or less so than those with personality disorders. We, similarly were at a figurative and literal split in the road. We went left, they went right. Or we went right and they went left. It is, if nothing more, a means to remain humble. I see potential in others that I cannot see in myself because of toxic shame. But on the other pole than this explanation. I see the potential in purity. All of the traits I carry that I refuse to accept in myself. Are all rooted in shame. I try (I try) to be selfless because I grew up, and faced my trauma, in a dense fog of selfishness. I tell the truth (I couldn’t stop this if I tried, at this point. Because everything I was taught was dishonest. I don’t cheat, because I saw and felt exactly how it could destroy a person. All those traits are likely forever chemicals within me, us. But when I project that potential on someone, it is void of the demons that are responsible for its existence in me. My theory also plays into why we see others as equals or above who we are. Until, of course, there’s way too significant amounts of truth that disproves that. I think growing up in such environments we were all, in one way or another, scapegoated, or gaslit (I hate that term) into believing we were less than. We know how emotionally damaging that is and do all we can to not put that on others. As for facing that toxic shame. Shame that is trapped in a self state trapped in trauma. That would take years of psychotherapy to even begin to chip away at. It’s unconscious, meaning we cannot, and likely shouldn’t even attempt to put a bandaid on that bullet wound. I was shocked at your end on this. I think you’re a genius and quite accurate (as accurate as anyone can be when the mind is so psychologically subjective). I’m not claiming that my theory is right…but I had just faced the worst version of being affected by this. And I saw and felt it as clearly as anything. But, I recognize that is me, and I’m singular, regardless of what box society wants me in or not. Because where I thought you were headed was somewhere way else, I hadn’t considered answering your query of how to see the truth rather than that potential. But I do have an answer…half an answer that actually creates further problems that may be much worse. It would be to ask the questions that we always avoid asking when we have that initial intuition that something is amiss. I know I do and I believe we do, with our shared general environmental upbringings. Have those moments after the entire relationship implodes. The “aha” moments that when they hit us, we realize that we knew this truth at the time we saw, heard, or felt something off. But because it is unconscious, we couldn’t have accessed the ability to confront it at the time. Because when a split happens (from my understanding) essentially that new self state is created with the primary purpose of protecting that traumatized child that is still there. Meaning, yes I know how crazy this all may sound. Imagine not having anyone to be able to bounce these thoughts off of for 2 years. Meaning, that if our conscience state was able to confront the issue we’d be playing a game or life and death. What you said about abandonment is true. That part of us is still in that trauma. So to expose truths in others that would align them with our abusers, would be like killing the child version of ourselves that we exist to protect. I think this also disproves your trigger theory. Because if we’re unconsciously protecting our child self, we would do anything not trigger someone. If our trigger turns them into equals (even if only perceived) to our abusers, that would be like the abandonment/death metaphor you used earlier. I think it’s still triggering, but to your child self rather than them. I’m not judging you, at all. Just trying to help. I think we’re all in this poop show together and we should always be looking to help each other out. Except for the homeless. Never the homeless. (That last part was a joke. Just in case that isn’t obvious) 😎
I'm reminded of that quintessential INFJ, Jesus Christ. So much of what you say about what happens when INFJ's show up authentically is what happened to him--rejected, abandoned, and ultimately crucified. There is a huge price tag attached to visionary authenticity and calling people out on their self-deceptions. My adult daughter is an INFP and when I do show up authentically, she often says that I trigger her. I mean, it's a dilemma. I don't want to trigger anyone, least of all my daughter, so I keep my mouth shut. I've never really known how to handle this in close relationships. When is being authentic an actual boundary violation and when am I just being manipulated into being silent? I don't know.
Yes, it's a tough one to know the difference. I've gotten myself in much trouble with family and mainly my adult sons. I did, for years and years, keep my mouth shut, but that wasn't healthy. I started speaking up more and now I'm estranged from them.
I'm brave enough to face the pain of a whole lifetime of rejection. I can mentally process and understand it. But the actual pain manifesting in my body? What do I do with it? How do I care for it? You say the process will be quick to get though but I'm in the depths of it and the pain does seems to linger and disappear and reappear in a different area of my life and its confusing. I do listen to the way my body informs my intuition and I even know what life decisions to make to get to my better place. And I'm doing it. But at the same time my energy is gone, my body hurts, my emotions hijack my logic. How do we use our energy to make an impact in the works when it feels like all my energy is pain? It takes even MORE energy than other people because I need more accomodations and thoughtfulness in my life to be at peace. Where does the energy come from? I'm exhausted.
You've got this and I fully agree with all that you are bringing. Brilliant!!!!! The "dimming of the lights" was something I did on the playground to single out bullies in the 2nd grade. You are well spoken on the subject and I am helped personally learning from you. Thank you!!!
I live in a game playing town of rich people & amusing things sometimes happen immediately just by my walking in the door. I'm starting to wonder if INFJs over 60 are just terrifying to lying criminals.😂
Hey Wenzes! Great content, as always. I've been watching your videos for a few months now, and you always talk about being authentic. But what about if I don't know what authentic me really is? It would also be great if you could give some examples when you talk about being authentic in certain situations, I think it would help to understand better. Thanks again for your great work!
We say that INFJ are able to hit people where it hurts, I also feel like with INFJ there is something about timing. When an INFJ sets a boundary, it seems as though the events before and after the INFJ setting the boundary are greatly influenced by this. Example: someone becomes agitated by an event they do and push the INFJ over the edge, the INFJ reacts and then that person is off their game following the INFJ’s reaction. Idk 🤷♂️
@@WenzesE é exatamente isso o que penso de mim. Mas porque das vezes em que eu tentei ser eu mesma, não apenas continuava sendo incompreendida como também era criticada e rebaixada. Decidi que o silêncio seria a melhor escolha a fazer, contudo tenho que viver com o dilema de não poder ser eu completamente como queria.🤦🏻♀️
I alw3ays get quite confused when you talk about forth functions and first functions and such. I keep trying to sort it all out, but it is very confusing to me. Can you have a video where you explain this lingo?
Do you tend to ‚see‘ potential in others but don‘t know how to tap into yours?
absolutely, it feels as looking above water where others are under water but not be able to even to see our own feet
The first most important thing as it comes to reducing toxic shame is to reduce the pace of the socio-cultural environment. Today's western culture is too much in competition and isolating people that think differently, too high pace, too much pressure, significant lack of space for people that don't go with the flow with almost no places for quiet, sensitive, introverted and intuitive people like us. This process begins from the family environment. Never race your child to feel ashamed that he or she is quiet, sensitive, introverted and intuitive. Instead implement the idea of „You are like this because there is something meant for you to be, something unique and no other can be like you, but in order to find what it is you have to embrace yourself. You see others as flawless, but it's never like this. Everyone hides something from others or from there own self's. To question your self is the first step of building your power.“ We are all particles from the realm of limitless and because of that we have so many things inside of us that overwhelm our ability to cope with them, but that's the magic of life. Imagine what will be if everything was clear cut.
@@sigmainfjbulgaria4478wow what an amazing comment! I agree it's so hard to find spaces to feel embraced with our infj-ness, but also to bear the pain of opening ourselves up to our unique brilliance and accepting potential abandonment ❤❤ Everyone is hiding something about themselves anyway; in that way we're not that different!
you've got one of the sexiest smiles i've seen lol dont hide it! 🤣
Living through a childhood of Hatred from my father and the physical abuse and violence that this kept bringing to me every time he came home from the road my father would start in telling me i was not his child and he did not feel responsible for feeding me. I learned from the age 2 too stay out of the Way of my father. My father came to terms with me by around age 8 but the violence had changed me and did not understand this madness until I was second year in the Navy at 19 and I had married and it kept coming up, fortunately I was never abandoned by Jesus Christ and I was able to make a marriage of almost 50 years. Can say that as you move through life you learn many of the strategies that you are teaching. Very Happy for your Program and your gift of teaching. Thank you
Lately, Wenzes's videos are blowing my mind!
I know, she is like a bolt of lightening every time. I am so glad I found this channel all those years ago, and so appreciative of what she does. 🌟
Yes she definitely is amazing.
I have literally made a career from this characteristic. I'm an Occupational Therapist working in a mental health setting. My job is to find the potential in my patients and to bring out. It has taken years to work out that this is not always accurate or possible. Very humbling lesson to learn.
That is so me! It helps me to know it's an INFJ thing. I fell for a man's potential and married him, believing all his explanations for why he had failed (always blaming someone else) and believing that together we could accomplish anything. I was soooooo wrong! I always tended toward gullibility, naivete, and idealism. I'm better now. Not bitter, just more realistic about people, including myself. Thanks for this video.
We might have all of the ideas but bringing them out is not our strong point...the truth triggers them. OMG so true!!!! They can't face that part of themselves...Yes. They have done it my whole life. Yes. Being all that we are feels like dying. So we project onto someone else. All so true. Wow....
There is a reason why INFJs make for the best talent acquisition partners and early years careers coaches out there.
Your videos are healing me from a deep depression that I have been struggling with for years. As an INFJ male, I have never understood myself as much as I have through your videos. I will never be able to put into words what your work has done for me. Thank you!
❤️❤️❤️
Consider my butt well and truly kicked forward. This is not what I wanted to hear. It's what I needed to hear. Now to take steps forward for myself; as me.
😉💪💪💪
They dont have the potential to go up. The way we think. But they definitely have the potential to go down way further then we expected.
Wow...tying SE under-functioning to infj toxic shame! Thank you, Wenzes. It's like you shone a light in a dark corner I was trying to see. Accepting that SE is a weak under-developed muscle gives me the conscious intention to accep this as a life purpose, build it with humility, and not become over-inflated with pride and arrogance (with Ni capability) to cover up the hidden shame. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾 In addition, the fear of being abandoned when we do exercise the SE muscle. Every time I do bring ideas into reality, I deal with folks going quiet and it hurts. We have to build that emotional resilience and let it be as is and keep going.
Fellow Aquarius here. Sometimes we are too deep for them so they go quiet.
@@bamgold4677 Ikr!🦗 Thanks for the insight
Its sad that every other type can be accepted for being themselves, but not infjs.
Exactly why my mind cringes when people say “just be yourself and people will like you”… and I’m like ‘not for all of us’…
@@DHARK1873We have allies the FJs ENFJ ESFJ ISFJ
Yeah I know my sister can be a complete asshole, and I can be ,slightly blunt with my words and they immediately attack me, and call me insensitive, but with my sister they just say," oh that's just her,and just accept that about her.🙁
So much this! I feel like I've struggled to feel accepted for being myself all my life.
@@HaleyMary That's because your special but the fools made you feel your not.v
I'm so grateful for you and your channel!
I used to tolerate ppl who didn't deserve my time because I saw potential. No more. If someone hasn't impressed me with their own talent and MOTIVATION [what is always missing in my "potential" picks] within about a half dozen meetings / jam sessions / dates I move on. I wasted so much time with talented losers who could not believe in themselves and had no direction or motivation in life. Never again.
I feel you. Did the same with my friends. Not matter how much I supported them, cheered and encouraged them - no changes for years. They didn't want to put any effort to helping themselves. However the complains on life being difficult never stopped. Yeah I wonder why..
Talented losers lol. What a way to say it. That's true.
This has been extremely helpful for me. I've recently ended a relationship where I saw amazing and unrealistic potential in another and likely fell in love with my fantasy of him. It obviously didn't work but I clearly saw what I was doing afterward. Now I am focused on expressing my own potential and I so appreciate your insight and encouragement to stay on this path. Also, now, when I get a little lonely, I remind myself to stay on my path and focus on the work I feel called to do. Once fully grounded in expressing my own potential, then, maybe, I could open up to being with another. THANK YOU!
As an INFJ, I stopped bothering others peoples businesses and take diplomatic approach how to utilize their potential.
My hubby is so codependent on me, he even gave up things he loves for me, I feel so angry at him because I feel he makes me the bad person because he's not happy because he loves me ,I have had it with him ,I kept trying to encourage to be happy ,to grow but he just doesn't seem to want to.
My family, particularly my younger sister, have come right out and stated that I “make people uncomfortable”. Given how much I cared for, and did to help my (rather dysfunctional) family, this totally confused me at the time. Now I get it thanks to videos like this. Eventually my entire family abandoned me (after using me in helping them out of their many financial binds). Yes, it was my choice, I “sacrificed” in order to avoid the recurring rejection and betrayal. My family is mostly sensor types, immigrants with lots of generational trauma, enmeshment, and repressive attitudes. I’m free of them now, but It’s pretty tough facing a life without a single family member willing to step up (against key narcissistic family members), but it’s better than trying to fit in. So In my older years, I’m discovering this stuff, and what I’m here to do (if it’s not too late). Thanks Wenzes, you articulate everything so well. Very helpful!
Years ago I saw a "Peanuts" cartoon where Charlie Brown made the observation that "There is no greater burden than that of a great potential.' "I identified with it wholeheartedly, as I have have had some interesting - and sometimes hurtful - experiences with "potential." The music and art gene runs strong in my family, as does an ease in public speaking - and the problem was that people often expected the world with a fence around it from me. And guess what. I am not a pianist like Richard Clayderman, I am not an artist like Vermeer (Dutch ancestry notwithstanding) and my "public speaking is mostly confined to a classroom. And with SE as the weakest in my function stack, well - you get the idea. Getting out there and taking action was something I could do - sort of - but after a sustained amount of it, I wanted to go home and stare at the wall for a while.
As a teacher, I look for potential in students. I can mention it to them and encourage them, but I know perfectly well they are going to have to make it work, and no matter how strong they are, and no matter how much "potential" is there, developing it isn't always going to be easy. In fact, it can be scary. But I try to assure them that it can be done. If SE comes easy to them, great. If it doesn't, it can still be done.
I appreciated it when you mentioned that people want to be accepted the way they are now and not just in "the future." And I believe that we INFJs can be very good at doing that for others
Teaching is such an Honorable Moral position. Thanks for doing what you do.
@@bamgold4677 Thank you! 🙂.
You just described the biggest pain in my life and it’s so soa accurate 😂.
Holy effing feck - this is one of your very best videos ever, at least for me. I just made four pages of notes so that I never forget it. Thank you so very much!!❣
Glad it helped!
We can inspire & encourage others, but it's up to that person to receive the spark. Not us. Like the video.🎉
Indeed. We can only tell them not understand it for them
Many are too dull to receive the spark.
I’d like to contribute, or rather, help you identify. What I am almost certain is the explanation for seeing potential in others and the involvement of toxic shame. I haven’t spoken to 100’s of infjs, but I have about 100 voices in my head. 😮😂😂 But real talk though.
I think when you think of this angle, it’s likely what’s going on. Psychology. Regardless of what literature says. It sure has always been for me. First. I believe our cognitive function stack is a direct result of trauma. When we split, a new self state was created and took over. We weren’t and aren’t (inherently) special or, mic drop, any more or less so than those with personality disorders. We, similarly were at a figurative and literal split in the road. We went left, they went right. Or we went right and they went left. It is, if nothing more, a means to remain humble. I see potential in others that I cannot see in myself because of toxic shame. But on the other pole than this explanation. I see the potential in purity. All of the traits I carry that I refuse to accept in myself. Are all rooted in shame. I try (I try) to be selfless because I grew up, and faced my trauma, in a dense fog of selfishness. I tell the truth (I couldn’t stop this if I tried, at this point. Because everything I was taught was dishonest. I don’t cheat, because I saw and felt exactly how it could destroy a person. All those traits are likely forever chemicals within me, us. But when I project that potential on someone, it is void of the demons that are responsible for its existence in me. My theory also plays into why we see others as equals or above who we are. Until, of course, there’s way too significant amounts of truth that disproves that. I think growing up in such environments we were all, in one way or another, scapegoated, or gaslit (I hate that term) into believing we were less than. We know how emotionally damaging that is and do all we can to not put that on others. As for facing that toxic shame. Shame that is trapped in a self state trapped in trauma. That would take years of psychotherapy to even begin to chip away at. It’s unconscious, meaning we cannot, and likely shouldn’t even attempt to put a bandaid on that bullet wound.
I was shocked at your end on this. I think you’re a genius and quite accurate (as accurate as anyone can be when the mind is so psychologically subjective). I’m not claiming that my theory is right…but I had just faced the worst version of being affected by this. And I saw and felt it as clearly as anything. But, I recognize that is me, and I’m singular, regardless of what box society wants me in or not. Because where I thought you were headed was somewhere way else, I hadn’t considered answering your query of how to see the truth rather than that potential. But I do have an answer…half an answer that actually creates further problems that may be much worse. It would be to ask the questions that we always avoid asking when we have that initial intuition that something is amiss. I know I do and I believe we do, with our shared general environmental upbringings. Have those moments after the entire relationship implodes. The “aha” moments that when they hit us, we realize that we knew this truth at the time we saw, heard, or felt something off. But because it is unconscious, we couldn’t have accessed the ability to confront it at the time. Because when a split happens (from my understanding) essentially that new self state is created with the primary purpose of protecting that traumatized child that is still there. Meaning, yes I know how crazy this all may sound. Imagine not having anyone to be able to bounce these thoughts off of for 2 years. Meaning, that if our conscience state was able to confront the issue we’d be playing a game or life and death. What you said about abandonment is true. That part of us is still in that trauma. So to expose truths in others that would align them with our abusers, would be like killing the child version of ourselves that we exist to protect.
I think this also disproves your trigger theory. Because if we’re unconsciously protecting our child self, we would do anything not trigger someone. If our trigger turns them into equals (even if only perceived) to our abusers, that would be like the abandonment/death metaphor you used earlier. I think it’s still triggering, but to your child self rather than them.
I’m not judging you, at all. Just trying to help. I think we’re all in this poop show together and we should always be looking to help each other out. Except for the homeless. Never the homeless. (That last part was a joke. Just in case that isn’t obvious) 😎
I'm reminded of that quintessential INFJ, Jesus Christ. So much of what you say about what happens when INFJ's show up authentically is what happened to him--rejected, abandoned, and ultimately crucified. There is a huge price tag attached to visionary authenticity and calling people out on their self-deceptions. My adult daughter is an INFP and when I do show up authentically, she often says that I trigger her. I mean, it's a dilemma. I don't want to trigger anyone, least of all my daughter, so I keep my mouth shut. I've never really known how to handle this in close relationships. When is being authentic an actual boundary violation and when am I just being manipulated into being silent? I don't know.
Jesus is an INFJ?!!! Wow!
Yes, it's a tough one to know the difference. I've gotten myself in much trouble with family and mainly my adult sons. I did, for years and years, keep my mouth shut, but that wasn't healthy. I started speaking up more and now I'm estranged from them.
Wenzes, could you do a video about this please? 🙏🥺 It isn't talked about enough
E eu pensava que isso fosse um problema que somente eu enfrentava...🤦🏻♀️
Bom saber que não sou a única.
@@GrafinVonHopper: Eu também no passado achava que eu era a única.
I'm brave enough to face the pain of a whole lifetime of rejection. I can mentally process and understand it. But the actual pain manifesting in my body? What do I do with it? How do I care for it?
You say the process will be quick to get though but I'm in the depths of it and the pain does seems to linger and disappear and reappear in a different area of my life and its confusing.
I do listen to the way my body informs my intuition and I even know what life decisions to make to get to my better place. And I'm doing it. But at the same time my energy is gone, my body hurts, my emotions hijack my logic.
How do we use our energy to make an impact in the works when it feels like all my energy is pain? It takes even MORE energy than other people because I need more accomodations and thoughtfulness in my life to be at peace. Where does the energy come from? I'm exhausted.
You've got this and I fully agree with all that you are bringing. Brilliant!!!!! The "dimming of the lights" was something I did on the playground to single out bullies in the 2nd grade. You are well spoken on the subject and I am helped personally learning from you. Thank you!!!
I live in a game playing town of rich people & amusing things sometimes happen immediately just by my walking in the door. I'm starting to wonder if INFJs over 60 are just terrifying to lying criminals.😂
I've been trying to figure this thing out for a very long time and you just explained it like that. Thanks a lot.
This is really interesting, projecting your potential I’ve never thought about it this way before
Jesus bore my shame that I share His glory....
You're such a genius thank you so much
She's awesome Yay.
Hey Wenzes! Great content, as always. I've been watching your videos for a few months now, and you always talk about being authentic. But what about if I don't know what authentic me really is? It would also be great if you could give some examples when you talk about being authentic in certain situations, I think it would help to understand better. Thanks again for your great work!
Thank you Wenzes.
She is correct about the 4th reaction.
We say that INFJ are able to hit people where it hurts, I also feel like with INFJ there is something about timing. When an INFJ sets a boundary, it seems as though the events before and after the INFJ setting the boundary are greatly influenced by this. Example: someone becomes agitated by an event they do and push the INFJ over the edge, the INFJ reacts and then that person is off their game following the INFJ’s reaction. Idk 🤷♂️
If someone told me this many moons ago.
I've often wished I'd known a lot of this earlier. But guess what. We're hearing it now- and it's not too late.
Jesus Christ of Nazareth gave me His personality...
... Church!
Also would it be possible to dive into an inferior complex?
What do you mean by 'toxic shame'?
Being convinced that the most authentic version of you is completely unlovable
@@WenzesE é exatamente isso o que penso de mim. Mas porque das vezes em que eu tentei ser eu mesma, não apenas continuava sendo incompreendida como também era criticada e rebaixada. Decidi que o silêncio seria a melhor escolha a fazer, contudo tenho que viver com o dilema de não poder ser eu completamente como queria.🤦🏻♀️
I alw3ays get quite confused when you talk about forth functions and first functions and such. I keep trying to sort it all out, but it is very confusing to me. Can you have a video where you explain this lingo?
INFJ:
1. Ni
2. Fe
3. Ti
4. Se
5. Ne
6. Fi
7. Te
8. Si
I‘ll do some videos 👍
❤❤❤❤❤
❤
Right! lol
What is your faith base?
💚
Luhhh , u maybe
Don’t include me
You r weak !!!