Podcast with K.J. Ramsey: Embracing Scripture after Religious Trauma
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- Опубликовано: 23 авг 2024
- Psalm 23 powerfully reminds us that, “The Lord is my shepherd.” Yet, for those who have been hurt by earthly shepherds-their pastors-the psalm can sound trite or even off-putting.
For years, K.J. Ramsey and her husband served in a toxic church with a narcissistic and abusive pastor. This experience left K.J. with deep wounds, and an aversion to much of Scripture. Yet she found a safe place in Psalm 23.
In this podcast, K.J. tells her journey of pain and trauma-but also of healing and renewed intimacy with God. Author of 'The Lord is My Courage', she shares extremely helpful insights from her training as a trauma-informed counselor, in this fascinating and rich discussion.
This program was also released as an audio podcast and transcript on August 24, 2022:
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Thank you. We need more stories like this of reconstructing our faith rather than deconstructing it. As a member of the thrown under the bus walking wounded this was very healing.
I was living a hedonism lifestyle in my 20’s when I met my husband. He was raised Catholic so he had some religion and one night when he was sleeping over I had a nightmare and he said Psalm 23 and it comforted me and really reached my soul. The weird thing is that the nightmare was more like a visitation by a dark entity that had visited me twice before - once before my 7th birthday and again when I was graduating high school. Since my ex turned out to be a covert narcissist I often wonder if that was the reason or trigger for the visitation, like it came before significant events and I ended up marrying the man. Fortunately, the Psalm doesn’t trigger me. I raised my children to memorize it. I didn’t require a lot of scripture memorization or anything like that and made it fun with a reward for reciting it. I do always remember that time when he said that to me though
Thanks. You are appreciated. Beautiful..❤
Thanks Julie for another amazing and encouraging interview ❤️🙏
I'm torn inside atm between wanting to report my dad for the years of his violent physical abuse towards my mum, my siblings and myself, and particularly his emotional and spiritual abuse. I understand the need to honour him, and to love and pray for him, and the need to show mercy, but where he's shown defiant unrepentance and using phrases like, "Satan the accuser of the brethren" whenever calling him to account, or criticising everyone but when anyone criticises him, "you're being critical."
I was a kid when i saw my mum with blood dripping down her head from getting beat up. I was less than 4 when I was beaten for running around and playing in a house, and I had no idea what I did wrong. I was in pre-school when my teacher noticed a cut and bruising on my back from a beating. I had no idea about the law so when I told my teacher and then was called into the principles office, I had no idea they'd call home. I got beaten again. And then I had to see the police and explain how my dad was my hero. And years of having to cover up for him, all the while seeing my mum turn into a monster.
There's so much there and I know I should pray for him, but does prayer negate action?
prayer does not negate action. And forgiveness does not mean passivity or acceptance of abuse. You are made in God's image and your dignity is worth being affirmed. Hope this talk is helpful for you. I'm so sorry for what you have been through. sending you love.
If your father is unrepentant, he is still a danger to others. Please do what you can to let people know. hugs
Oh my, I am so sorry.
No one protected you.
The commandments in the Bible like honor your parents are don’t apply to wicked fathers who what you describe!
Are you saying when you confronted him about the abuse he said you were like Satan about you were “accusing the brethren”? 😮 I would say he NOT SAVED based on his hardness of heart being able to live in sin without conviction, so dear one, don’t take on ONE OUNCE of condemnation from the a person who’s getting ready to split hell wide open.
I don’t know that you owe him your prayers either. My advice is to go NO CONTACT with him and your mom.
Hugs to you 💖💖
Pray for his salvation, he's clearly a child of the devil. Speaking religious language doesn't make someone a Christian. Christians don't act like him. Just pray he gets saved and keep a healthy distance. You don't need to have him in your life to pray for him.
I'm really sorry for what you've been through. It's hurtful when you've suffered so much injustice and you haven't seen any consequences for it yet. I definitely believe that praying for someone doesn't mean you cannot also take action against an abuser.
Whether or not you should take action beyond prayer really depends on the situation, I think, and you need to have peace from the Lord about it.
If he's currently abusing people to the degree you described, getting the law involved seems only responsible.
You mentioned him using spiritual language to exonerate himself. Is he in church? If so, for the sake of protecting that congregation, speaking to the pastor may be in order. Not to mention if he's in a position of authority in the church, in which case he needs to either repent or be removed from his post. The Bible is clear that hot tempered men who can't even run their own home in a godly manner can't be in charge in the church.
I know it can feel almost impossible to forgive people who have acted like absolute wrecking balls sent by the devil in our lives. Just make sure any action you take isn't just motivated by bitterness - I don't have to tell you that that is the way of the world. God asks us to leave vengeance to Him. Other than the previous commenter, I cannot find a single verse in Scripture saying that our parents have to be honorable before we honor them. This commandment, I believe, has less to do with our parents than with our own hearts. Sure, it helps our relationships with our parents. But it's more about our relationship with God. It's about obedience and loyalty to Him, regardless of how we feel. It's about trusting in His justice, His reward, rather than waiting for it from people. It's about having great expectations of Him, and understanding that He alone won't disappoint.
Now, whether or not you end up speaking to people in authority about your father, God sees your heart. If you're praying, if you're striving for a heart of forgiveness towards your father, if you're avoiding any action that's unnecessarily humiliating or cruel, I don't think you're sinning in that. God understands nuance, and trying to bring an evildoer to justice doesn't mean you can't also love and honor them. God calls wives to honor their husbands, too, but I think we can agree that letting their husbands get away with murder isn't included in that package!
I pray the Lord brings healing, reconciliation and salvation to your whole family. I pray for wisdom for you in every step you take, and clarity on what God is leading you to do. All the best
Thank you K.J. For sharing your story. ♥️💕 You have no idea how much it is helping me, personally.
Thank You! Rescued not exiled! I so appreciate the Roy’s report and all these insights from women of God for healing.I missed so much in Charismania,I wondered where is the feminine? After similar abuse,I had a breakdown.Then going catholic,abuse again. What keeps us herein the Catholic Church is the doctrine of the church fathers.The feminine is here. She is here in the scriptures everywhere. God created a mother for himself and Jesus dwelt in her womb.He lived in her and she was his ark.In his birth she gave us our savior and in his sacrificial death he gave us his Mother. To the one who Jesus loved, John, that’s us, his beloved sons and daughters, he said,”Behold your Mother!” Mary is not a god but god can make her Our Mother.The Catholic Church is the only one that has women theologian doctors of the church.The only church that has lasted from the time of Christ.The women doctors of the church have all the answers.I love my sisters from the Charismatic and protestant denominations that I was part of.I want them to know their Mother too.❤️ Thank You,sisters, for listening to your feminine love and instinct for truth and for God and bringing healing to me too.
Thank you for sharing what you've been through and what you've learned. I'm really stirred up after this. Even though my own struggles aren't close to the ones you've experienced, I'm grateful that God takes them seriously and has compassion for me. Recently though I've really been marinating in my trials. I've taken injustices done to me and my family as excuses to be angry, self-righteous and reclusive. I realize that I've become blind to my blessings, ungrateful and unwilling to take up my cross in the service of others. I found this inspiring interview at just the right time. Already I feel much more motivated to snap out of it and move forward. At the end of the day I want to give my Father in heaven joy while waiting for His move, not grumble against Him until He does what I think He should be doing, when really He has His reasons for everything, and He's making the wait easy in so many ways. I can only imagine how healing your ministry is especially to those who have experienced abuse in the church specifically. Thank you both for you ministries to the ailing and groaning body of Christ 🙏🏻
Interesting podcast. Many churches are managed as a corporate entity. We had a similar experience. I appreciate the rescued rather then exiled. Thanks for sharing
Amen! Share the sufferings of Jesus and you will share in His Glory.
Some People never recover that kind of abuse, it kills spirit
Thanks.
I am torn. The conversation was insightful and I respect the author's story, but some things said sounded "gnostic".
My understanding is that in Biblical times the image of the Shepherd was one of the Shepherd/King, and so including the royal feast image in the psalm makes sense when we understand that Kings of nations in some ancient cultures were also known as Shepherds
ARC Churches are one in the same ! Especially my old church, Church of the Highlands or Church of the Cover Ups 😢😢😢
So much good insightful content Julie, but I cannot agree that ‘“we are made to be shepherded..) “
I am also a survivor of abuse in the church environment, but looking back I see a huge abdication of personal responsibility to think and reason before God alone.
Of course deception always does this.
Great video!!
Talk about suicides among christians
Traditionally the "shepherd" has a sheepdog. They work together to protect the SHEEP FROM WOLVES.