Marriage to the family is one thing. Supporting the family is something different. I think that with out boundaries money can be detrimental to any relationship. I don’t mind helping when I want to help but not every-time someone needs that help. That can be a never ending string of help. Just imagine if every member of your family want to borrow your car everyday to do things on a daily basis and you did not get much use out of the car except to pay for it.
I agree 100% - well stated. "Without boundaries money can be detrimental to any relationship." If not careful, it can be very easy to become the ATM Machine for the entire family tree -- and that is BS.
@@SRT480 Correct sir you take one contributor from the family unit and it affects the financial situation of the rest. If you love your filipina a small contribution to the parents will be appreciated to help the family budget.
I was born in England, spent a few years as a child in Australia. Returned to England, Manchester, I work in construction so I worked all over UK on various projects. Came to HK on the new airport and came for 2 weeks (which stretched to 2.5 years) working in Batangas in June 1998. Met my wife in August 1998 married in February 1999 and have been here ever since. I like to think that this is the country I was destined to be in. As a child I had a large atlas and loved looking at countries and imagining what they would be like and the shape and islands of the Philippines always intrigued me. Of course there was the "Thriller in Manila" that made the news but before the internet little was known in the UK about this place. Maybe I was lucky but I am a great believer in fate and destiny. I have more here than I could ever have achieved in UK. Davao is my home and this is where I will stay. My wife and me are stronger now than ever but I knew when I met her she was the one. Don't let love blind you and think hard about committing yourself to this wonderous place and if you make the right choices you will be rewarded.
@Dumb Mutts. Thanks for sharing that story. Was wondering how you were able to work in the Philippines when you first arrived? What type of employment did you have?
@@poiqweee I was working for a company in HK who were in partnership with Fort Bonifacio Holdings ,who were developing BGC, and the partnership company had other work mainly in Luzon.. They needed someone of my experience for a project in Batangas so they asked me if I fancied coming to Philippines, I said yes. So the Philippines company arranged my work visa. As we were a consultancy it was very easy to get a work visa based on being a visiting consultant.
I guess that I will be one of the lucky ones. I have met and been doing online relationship for 3 years now. She does not want to live close to family but not too far away. She is always trying to earn her own money and not asking me for it. Her family is great and they actually earn their money that I send them. They work hard for me. I did have to weed my way through filipinas for different reasons, like they want an US visa and move to America or they want the money. Now I have a wonderful beautiful filipina wife. I will retire in the Philippines and have spent plenty of time there to understand their culture better. I do agree with all that you said in the video. I have learned patience and my wife is the one getting angry now about how things are done in the Philippines.
Wow, that was really direct, but thank you for keeping it REAL! I think anybody having to live within a new system of rules and reasons would find it difficult at first. How do Filipina women feel who have moved to their mates home country.... how have they learned to deal with those changes? When somebody makes permanent changes in their life, they have to expect the changes, and try to prepare or at least to adjust to them. Each new venture in life brings certain new changes, its part of the package. Dealing with new problems, in life or in general, is what makes us better when we solve that problem, makes us more able to adapt. In the end, what someone will endure to be with their mate, depends on the strength of that relationship. I LIKE these 'deeper-subject' posts that make you think, hope you do more in the future....
A highly relevant question, do they plan to immigrate and if so, what life to the envision after that? Most Filipinos would think that the vast majority of life's problems can be solved with more money so it is primary in their thinking. But most of the Filipina I know in the USA are lonely, and the Philippines they left simply does not exist any more. You can't go home because the home you remember does not exist any more. Yes, they have way more money than they had in the PI but it is still poverty outside of the Philippines. She had no problem with an older guy, but now she is 55 and alone in the house.
I met my fiance 12 years ago and I have been there many times since. I like the people, the laid back way of life. I can even do without all the technology. This is one of the main reasons why I love the Phillipines so much I will be retiring to the Phillipines
I lived in the Philippines for 20 years and I primarily visited foreigners. I do not value "Filipino culture" but I simply loved my time there, wish I could go back. Why foreigners leave after thinking they will finish their life there. #1 They love their wives and children, and can see the opportunities in the countries they left as opposed to the Philippines. They all know they will die eventually and see their loved ones left behind. #2. They get sick. Most foreigners are above 65 and chronic illness is part of aging. Fake meds are the rule not the exception. They have Medicare in the US and other programs in other countries. it is one thing to say you are going to die, it is a different question when you are going to die if you do not get consistent meds and then selecting that. #3. Too much bull shit. A culture where it seems everything is a lot harder than it needs to be. And it is made that way by people who think being a government employee gives you discretion. People everywhere with made up jobs established by government edict so some guy with a little power can take a cut. My favorite is prohibiting taxies to come to the airport without a fee, and designing the airport so you can't walk out with luggage. I would estimate that a solid 30% of the income in the Philippines is earned via some connection to an inside deal of some sort. #4 Racism. Hi Joe! Racism is overt, nobody is the least bit ashamed to admit and draw conclusions from the obvious, you are a foreigner. You are typical. You will be stupid with your money. You will marry for sex. You believe in government. You take things at face value when nobody else in the Philippines does. You are invited to events because somebody has to pay. You have money without work. If you do not play along, it is YOUR FAULT that people are angry at you. #5 Boredom. This is most common with guys who made a plan and then that plan was completed in a lot less time than they thought. There is no work. Many foreigners are afraid and do not get out much. The TV is in a foreign language. Internet sucks. Fun stuff is expensive. #6 Money trouble. You know a guy is going to leave when he says "I am going to start a new business to keep busy". He is going to go broke, and see that his "cushion" has evaporated. Literally thousands of ways to lose your nest egg. There are very few things cheaper in the Philippines. You can buy lower quality for less. Sure, fish is cheaper but it has not been handled safely. Safety rules exist in first world because ignoring them results in really bad stuff happening. I was a general contractor in CA, never saw a single building in the Philippines that followed Filipino building codes 'strictly'. Building codes exist because 1 in 10,000 has an event that has horrific outcomes. #7 Loneliness. The world around you in the Philippines was there before you came, and they have to work for a living, they have friends for years before, you are older with cash and that is a tiny group in the Philippines. You have family, but that family has responsibilities that you do not have. You speak a foreign language. I have known thousands of foreigners, if I were to guess only 1 in 10 who plans his retirement there actually stays more than 10 years. Less than half stay more than 5 years.
@@ricardoestupinan2013 Of those i know, less than 10% who claim they will stay "forever". This includes those who died. Filipino's are smart and they mostly want to get out.
Respectfully, you lived there for 20 years in a "tourist" mentality. Every shortcoming you mentioned exists in many so called "civilized" nations. First principle of survival of the fittest, "Adapt or become extinct"
@@hanymessiha1416 I mentioned no "shorcomings" but observations. How very Filipino of you, when somebody describes your country in terms that you do not feel complimentary, your reply is essentially "somebody else on earth is just as stupid" It is true that turtles and rats work on the principle of survival of the fittest, which as a Filipino are you emulating? I was prohibited by law from working, or from owning land. What other than tourist is legal for me anyway? I have perhaps met 5000 Filipinos, I can say that only 7 saw me as a person first and a foreigner second. And for me, it is the reverse. Answer a question for me will ya, who told Filipinos foreigners came to the Philippines to learn Filipino culture? Great weather. Cheap food. Laid back rural life. beautiful. Adventure if you want it. A get away.
I'm a foreigner but my family lives in the Philippines. Been going there for 10 years. Sad to say, nothing much has improved especially the infrastructures. The other being the inconsistent & mind boggling policies due to poor foresight & planning.
I love the heat there. It's like an Australian summer day for me. Food is excellent. Especially the street foods in the market in San Francisco on Camotes Island
It not for every one that for sure i cant see living there year round it can be boring at time all city look the same some province area are more scenic than other . It really suck with covd you cant sight see.
I never experience any of these financial issues, not enough to worry about anyways ..Just on travel and eating out etc set boundaries ..We go vacations in nice places (pre -covid) My wife always stands her ground for me and looks after me all the time , have never been taken advantage of . I love the family , culture and foods ..I always feel a sense of freedom when kicking back and relaxing. Love my wife and daughter . What more can a person ask for .
I have been there many times and even have a big beautiful home with all the western conveniences, but never considered anything but visits, because of hundreds of things that I did not like. Electrical and water problems, no sidewalks and poor food choices. I could go on and on but the point is I like to visit and bring my Filipina wife back to visit her family and can tolerate some inconveniences for a month, but I can avoid many of the day to day problems by not staying too long. We ship food there to eat and have backup generator for power and don't need to deal with the beauricy for that short stay. I do realize all the problems of living there long term, and glad to come back home to the USA with good water, reliable electric and good food and hospitals and real sidewalks and streets. I kind of look at a trip to the Philippines as a rustic camping trip, fun for a short time, but no fun for long term.
You kind of like slumming it for a while do ya Bruce. . But god forbid eating the food. Obviously everyone should have food shipped over. That’s really environmentally sound and respectful. Of course everyone should have a high spec house there and one back home. What are these people thinking of.
Had that issue too, I am a foreigner met a Filipina with kids, she doesn't work I gave it a try, big mistake, once her family found out I was a foreigner none stop asking, I helped but it became so rampant I decided to end the relationship, I didn't come here to feed the whole family, I don't care if that's their culture, I warned her many times but it was ignored, again I will not get involved with any Filipina relationship, I know some foreigners who had the same issues.
You’re so beautiful, and I know exactly what you’re talking about I’ve been with a Filipina for a few years now. Good standers but kind of scary for us Westerners
I have few shining medals decorating on my chest for failed relationships with filipinas. ….. whatever the reason I m not debating on that. My point is if as in my case if you like the country which do have abundance of natural beauty, awesome locations. Also friendly people specially in countryside. And want to live here for good it’s very much possible . Just don’t get involved in emotional relationships with a filipina. If the pension of yours is around 1.5 K US Dollars Take a retirement visa . Just live there. Filipino in general are friendly. And they don’t bother you. Develop good friends. Life will be easy. Just as in any other part of the planet avoid the situation specially the emotional relationship with big age gaps. I planned my retirement there. Been visiting Philippines since 2008 almost every year. Apart from this two years . Good luck guys. Meljean you are doing good. Remain blessed and charming always
I married a Filipina, we took good care of family but then they became very hateful to the wife when i bought her a new scooter and we was budgeting through the pandemic. The mom & dad spread rumors to the village about my wife. so she was heart broken. I made her kick them out of the New house I built for them to live in. Respect is Everything and people like that I refuse to coddle. So their own hate drove them to hardship.. Me & the wife will be fine. We have plans for other family members to help soon.
RUclips algorithm led me to this video... And I really appreciate your video. As someone who is seriously considering retirement in the Philippines, this content is very helpful. And I truly appreciate your fluency of English, Meljean.
As an Aussie I think I would struggle to live there mainly because of the heat and humidity and also because its a less politically stable country with less business opportunities.
You mentioned almost everything that is trying about the PI. Some are the foreigners issues. Not having a source of income is totally foolish. The biggest issue I have is the infrastructure. The difficulty acquiring internet service, Brown out, and such. Out of stock, and not available is another one. The biggest one to me is the BI, and LTO don't seem to be on the same sheet of music. BI in Lapu Lapu will issue a 6 month extension, but Mandaue city will only issue 2 months. All of these government institutions have signs saying don't use fixers, but you can hire a fixer for all of them. The government claims to be anti corruption, but have seen it business as usual.. Thanks for your informative video..
It's not just the foreigner the family might take advantage of. Many OFW's we meet and talk with in Canada are also expected to be the family bank account. It is not an easy life. It is expensive to live in the West. Housing and food prices are much higher in North America. Working can be very stressful and many employers are unforgiving. But it doesn't seem to matter to the family back home in the Philippines, as long as they get their remittance every two weeks, the one overseas working to provide for them is an afterthought, and that same attitude persists for the foreign guy living in the Philippines. He is simply expected to provide for the entire family, if that family is poor
Let them know early on you not gonna be a golden cow idk. I'd only help if its extremely neccesary. If I see lazy people waiting for the weekly paycheck they can wait for it.
I agree, totally, my wife, sends half, of her us salary, to Philippines, exactly on her payday, the phone rings. She does not understand, who her REAL family is, me the husband, and our kids. Period. The worst thing, one can do, is to send money, that way, they never learn, to take care of themself.
Thanks Meljean as this was really informative. I agree about developing nations and found dating a girl from Thailand was similar. Unfortunately it seemed every day to be all about money and I started and concluded the love was all tied to money. This was after some time living in Thailand and both of us for a year in Australia that this ‘love’ was one sided and broke my heart again. I stay single and divorced and hope to find a companion where the above is not the case. I feel the need to take care of somebody but it needs to be a genuine partnership not based only on money. I can’t judge all women in Asia or in other places for that matter based on this one experience but wonder if the same was asked from my partner I just met to pay for my families expenses would go. I get poverty seeing both the Phillipines and Thailand to date. I’m a generous person and I’m always adapting to change to earn a living and save and love to share this. Money doesn’t come easily no matter where you live. This is the same in your case working hard to produce a great channel and chasing your dreams with life and a relationship with Tom in your case, being successful and able to support your self and your loved ones is achievable. You have earned though hard work in an educated way and very impressed with you Meljean as I’m sure Tom is as well. You give me hope that such a partner exists!. I know cultural differences are the big thing to consider but being the ATM machine shouldn’t play a part in love…so I will keep searching or not in the meantime. Great video today birthday girl!
Why own land in a country without set laws, rules and regulations, and where things can change completely overnight... what's up with the stupid idea of buying land in third-world countries? It's rediculously cheap to rent, which leaves you with money to invest in other things including real estate in the country you come from, where you hopefully get a clear title and a deed. It's downright stupid unless it's done as a gift to a gf or wife. You have no rights in third world countries, period, and you want to buy land there...??? Moronic idea to say the least.
I can tell you why I left. I was in the US Navy in transit to Vietnam. After 3 days of heavy drinking on Magsaysay in Olongapo I came down with a severe case of the "Philippine fall aparts". After 3 days of being scammed by bar girls, snatch and grab pick pockets, rip-off jeepney hustlers and constant gunfire by Huks and criminal gangs I was glad to get back to Cua Viet, Vietnam where I could carry a gun.
@@dougpoulton5544 wow, you must be in your mid 70's Sir. I went to the Philippines first time in 2010 and it felt very peaceful :) - I guess you must have been there once again after 1968 but if not i suggest to try once again after Covid is over. You would be surprised how Subic Bay looks like today.
YOU are absolutely gorgeous. BUT - I don't want to date \ pay for the entire family, wait hours in line at a grocery story, or sit for hours in unregulated traffic. Guess I'm staying in New York.
Also you forgot the black outs here, it happens quiet often for hours or days, infrastructure here is Stone Age, medical care is substandard, you have to wait hours before being seen by a medical staff, traffic here is herrnedance, lawless society, driving here is dangerous and pure hell, I was born and raised n New York City, come here and see first hand, NYC is paradise compared to driving in the Philippines, I am planning on gong back to the USA in may 2023, I am not coming back there again.
I am from Mexico, living here for a few years now, and while I see more positive views than cons, if I had to leave would be because of the traffic and the “expat tax” on some things and services 🤣 anything else is about being patient and know somebody. Everything is so slow in here, but I believe it will get better as more systems are placed. I hope 🤞🏻-Emman
I love the Philippines MJ,especially Camotes Island and Cebu. I love the beauty of the area. I absolutely love the weather there n I will sit on my terrace in the mid afternoon watching the people walk or ride past our little house in San Isidro MJ. When it's time to travel to the beach. All the gfs family n relatives are always welcome along n I pay for the cost of transport and look after the costs. I don't mind bringing family members with us on vacation MJ. Gone to Bantayan Island n bring Liza parents and sister along to experience new Island. Also to the city when I arrive n book hotel rooms for them to stay in and I will try book nice restaurant to eat in.
Man I hated Cebu. Hot, dirty, dangerous and expensive. Lived there 3 years. The farther south you go the better the climate, more equatorial than tropical. I settled first in Dipolog after Cebu then moved to Kitcharao (N of Butuan). Everything costs less and the forest is near making the scenery dramatic.
Yes, when you marry a Filipina, you marry the family! But, that does NOT mean your their BREAD Winner. If you do something finically once, then it will ALWAYS be expected. In their EYEs your are RICH. But, we all have BUDGETS. My advice ... set the ground rules before engaging in a relationship. By that, you layout your financial expectations. What I evaluate is "Would they do this, or could afford this, on their own PESO?" Paying the TAB for the entire family vacation is the quickest way to go BROKE. And, when the MONEY is gone, your kick to the curb. The family has NO use for you anymore. Just keep things in perspective ... your NOT a Filipino!
The family got by before you came along and they will get by when you are no longer around. Remember you worked for your money they didn't work for your money so they should not expect any of it
Just to EDUCATE your subscribers ... If you want the Western style of living ... you will pay Western PRICES! In the mall, imported items (Levi's, Nike, etc.) are ~5-10% more than in the states. Why? Import tax! Western restaurants are the same price and more for STEAK (beef) houses. Electricity cost is significantly high than in the US. With that said, you do NOT see many homes with central AC. If you are unwilling to compromise, stay in the West. Hopefully you came to the Philippines to experience their culture, food, and people. When in the Philippines, do like a Filipino! :)
@Pinkie Ocampos For me, I was in the United States Air Force assigned to Clark Air Base. I was evacuated after the Mount Pinatubo eruption in June of 1991. I have returned on several occasions. Some things have changed and some things have stayed the same. Good memories ... :)
I am married 16 years with american our First 2years together we eat everyday at Italian restaurant now we cook our own food and it's better than the restaurant 😁 local beef tenderloin is the best and not expensive... We bought a lot in exclusive subdivision but we did not build the house we rented a house in same subdivision where we owned a lot...we rented a house an extension of owners house 2bedrooms 2 bath our overall expenses for rent electric/water bill garbage and subdivision association fees total 22k monthly...our lot price now is 10x more...
Hi Meljean I allways enjoy your videos. Have some comment on your video. I'm from Norway and have been married to a filipina for 17years. Off course it has been some challenge sometimes , different lifestyle,religion, and culture shock, and the countries are very different, but we have solved all problems together, and travelling every summertime to Cebu for 5 weeks where we have a nice holiday house in Mactan near Cebu Pasific resort, so for me and my wife Philippines will allways be my best vacation county ever, and will also retire there😊❤ and best of all I have a loving family there who we have lots of fun with . Ok they say if you marry a filipina you marry the family I have never felt that way. I was very strict at that point. My policy was to help the family if needed dont spoiled them😊
I know I couldn't stand the heat and humidity there. I don't have patience with people that lie to me ( saving face ). Saving face ( lying ) is childish and when people realize that you lied to them, it makes you look stupid so how did the person actually save face ? I do think the Philippines is a beautiful place with wonderful people overall. Every country has its faults. You do an excellent job on your videos, I really enjoy them. Thank you.
First, humidity is a part of the tropics, go south and it is far less, an equatorial climate. saving face and lying are part of talking to strangers. Your wife will not do that to you.
As silly as seems, you actually get used to it. After living in the Philippines for a combined 10 years, I remember coming back to the US and not being able to fall asleep bc of the dead silence 😂
From everything that I have learned so far about the Filipinos ….. what you say is correct …. The Philippines is not for everybody if you are not open minded and are used to a different life style and beliefs …… This is a huge change for most ….. but for those that are open minded and can adapt to this belief and culture…… could also be very awarding …… I have a friend who is in this very situation …. But stuck with his girl and being open minded ….. is now very happy there …. Going on 2 years now …. He said it was the best decision he ever made …. but it took time for him to adjust …. But stuck with it and his decisions there ….. medical insurance there was one of his biggest hurdles and was stressful . He did get it in time . I also have to say that finding someone on line …. For any Country , usually does not end well if you do not learn and try to understand their ways of life before hand …. It is important to go and learn about their way of living to see if you could adapt …. Even if that means being part of the families traditions ……. and being part of their family life . Don’t expect them to have to change to your ways of life because you are not willing to change …. That is just being selfish ….. That is part of the love with your mate . The same if the Filipino came to your Country …. It works both ways ….. if you meet one in your Country …. Then the same applies …… I think you did a great job of explaining how things are there …. That Country shouldn’t have to change for you ….. they have to be willing to change and adapt to that Country . Well I decided to jump ahead a bit on your videos … and go backwards a little bit ….. ok …. I guess I’ve said enough …. As usual …. Till next time .
Thank you , this is the most useful video, I was planning to find a wife and moved to the Philippines but you provided the feedback that I needed before making my decision . THANK YOU !!
I’m an Asian American living here in the Philippines now for over 2 years in BGC where sold and gave up everything back home. I’m looking for a strong independent beautiful Filipina which already had two ex’s which they didn’t know what they want. Someone smart, beauty and wonderful personality. It’s beautiful and peaceful for me as well cost of living is very affordable since medically retired from the US military
I was in and out of Clark AB in the USAF from 82-87 and back again for a month back in 2000. I was also in Hawaii when Mt. Pinatubo blew its top and helped coordinate evacuation of US military and their families. Anyway I loved the place and the people (still do) lol. Been thinking about a trip back now that I am in my 60s. However, COVID and the latest typhoon have put a damper so all I can do I’d plan and watch channels like this. Thank for the content and stay safe.
Guys know what they are getting into when it comes to helping out with the family. And they enjoy being able to help. They love being part of a family. But time goes on. As we age - and people go through lean financial times - they become grumpy. Not only towards their partner - but to *everyone*. And it gets embarrassing when someone gets angry at strangers when vacationing or hanging out., When that happens - don't be surprised if the relationship winds down and ends. Eh. Not everyone is a cheapskate with helping their partner - as in so many of the comments here. It's not about money.
So true, I went to the Philippines in 2014, met my wife had 3 kids, and 146 relatives 🤣🤣 I love them all, we left just before the covid thing happened. Remember MJ her RUclips is just a sideline, she will be fine.
I heard from a reliable source that you are not obligated to help your Filipina wife's family. It is merely something that you want to do after becoming part of the family.
Lol, your reliable source is a sample size of one? All relationships and family support requirements are going to be different. If you're dating a Filipina who supports her younger siblings through school then you'll probably need to replace that support should you take her away from that environment, that's just one example but a very common occurrence.
Your not obligated to but most woman who came from poor families tend to take care of their family members and that is why some marries foreigner because of that but not those who are in the middle and upper class
Well I've never been to the Philippines but I think the Filipina ladies are some of the most beautiful women in the world to me but since I'm not a rich man and it would be a financial strain on me to take care of someone else's family so there's no reason for me to go to the Philippines and fall in love. I would just be a big disappointment to them.... Thank you for the info.
@@jimmyrichardson7448 As I commented earlier all relationships and family support requirements will be different. Not all Filipino families need supporting, in some cases a Filipina could be one less mouth to feed or she might just be happy to get away from lazy family members who are always depending on her for money. A lot of couple decide to move far from family. Don't let us put you off going there, you'll never know if you don't go.
MJ everything you have outlined can be found out by doing your research before coming to PI. For any major change in your life to be successful you need to research and plan. If you do that then your chance of success (staying in PI) is much higher. Covid has also caused many to leave PI but they are desperate to return (especially Tom and who can blame him when you are there waiting for him). Thank you for more informed advise. God bless
Nice video. I'd like to comment on the Visa reason. I have lived and vlogged here in the Philippines for 1 1/2 years now. I am in and out of my Local BI office in 10 to 15 min. Every time. They are very professional, friendly, and nice. It takes me longer to drive there and back then the actual process to renew my Visa. I moved here knowing most of what you said just be researching and visiting here many times before actually moving here for an early retirement. I will say. Patience. You are right on that. I do highly dislike waiting an hour just to check out at the Grocery store. I fixed this by going to smaller grocery stores more often.. I'm in and out in 10 minutes. Learn to adapt and change here. Keep an open mind. The top reasons I think Foreigners are leaving now. Tourist visa is running out. If you were here 1 1/2 years prior to the pandemic.. you now have to leave for your 3 year visa run. and you cant come back. Sucks. Also.. Noise and Food. I know alot of foreigners here who cant take the loud motor bikes, roosters, barking dogs or Karaoke machines til late in the night. If noise bothers you.. Make sure to pick a quiet place to live in a more affluent neighborhood. Food, now i really love Filipino foods, Fish, rice, Adobo, etc etc.. But if you are a Steak and lunchmeat sandwhich guy.. You gotta have top of the line sushi and say great italian food all the time. This country probably isn't for you. Make sure you live in or near a bigger city to get these types of foods. anyway.. just my 2 cents. I'm going for longest comment ever. I've always been a big fan of yours.. And Tom's. I even watch Tom's vlog now that he is back in Ireland! Cheers, from San Juan La Union! Mark
Wow, I resolved the tourist visa run around by bribing the Immigration officer at the airport for balikbyan. Never failed... A better solution to noise is concrete walls and air tight windows. Affluent neighborhoods are dead, no street life at all.
i like many things about the Philippines. I think it is nice when you go to the mall and you hear hello sir by all the guards. Filipinos are super friendly. When you have a Filipina gf she is very attentive to your needs. she is usually thin and attractive, Filipino foods are quite tasty especially Pansit, adabong manok and leche flan. Tagalog is not that difficult to learn especially seeing it has many Spanish words in it. I think if i were to marry a Filipina and live in the Philippines I would live in the country possibly close to Bagio so that I could have cows. Most of the things that are mentioned in the video are true throughout South East Asia. I have dated a woman in Cambodia and i was expected to pay for trips we went on. The only time i would protest is if she wanted me to take her sister to Thailand with us. Then i would tell her that i will deduct the expenses from her allowance. I think the major issue with living in the Philippines which is not present in other South East Asia has to come with income. If I am dating a woman in Cambodia, Viet Nam or Thailand I can easily find an English teaching job that will pay me enough to support myself which would be difficult to find in the Philippines. If i really needed to earn money I can teach in China, Japan, Korea, or Vietnam. I can earn better salaries in China than I could in the USA which is a major reason i like living in China. One benefit to the Philippines is that most people speak english whereas if you live in Cambodia you would have to learn to speak Khmer unless you only plan to live in Phnom Penh, Siem Reap, or Sihanoukville. However since the pandemic, i have been making a point to learn Khmer and I am now able to go to the market and have some basic conversations in the Khmer language. I find the more i learn the more I want to learn.
Yes, same opinion, first when you live together as a couple you really see if the relationship works. I have a Filipino boyfriend and can't wait to meet him.
@Chan Zhan Because they believe in Jesus Christ like me. The most men in my age in Switzerland doesnt believe in God. 2nd is that I am already 37 and its hard to find a man here who is not divorced already! I had a relationship which was 10 years to a swiss man. Unfortunately we broke up as I was 26. After 30 its very hard to find a man here. And there is much easier. Even younger man (not only 40 and older like here) are interested to have a relationship with me. And it happened, I fall in love with a Filipino. That was the main reason. i didnt search. We met in an online game. Watch my channel to see more about me and my mahal and friends in the Phils. Greetings Susanne.
@@switzerlandandthephilippines Congratulations! I can attest that it is the same in the USA, Susanne. A quality Christian believer, not a Catholic believer who also believes in Jesus, but tends to idolize patron saints, relies on a priest as an intercessor and typically do not read the bible daily as a devotional and pray directly to God as in a personal relationship. I see both Christians and Catholics who go to church every Sunday and attend the churches social events, but during their away time from church are no different in their behavior than the worldly non believers. The majority of people with some Godly belief are more followers of what leaders teach, rather than reading and learning what the bible truly has to say and teach.
I`m very surprised that you mentioned immigration. I lived in many south east countries, and my opinion is, in Philippines is far the best and easiest visa regulations. The reason why I moved away from Thailand was the horrible visa rules and all the hassle around it, just a pain in the A.... In Philippines 2 x i month, after that every 6 month up to 3 years. If you happen to live in a big city with a lot of customers in immigration, well if you can not handle waiting once in 6 month`s, so yes maby you should go back home and stay there.
After I got balikbyan legally, Coming back from the states I bribed immigration at the airport, $200, for balikbayan again. Made my life so much simpler. I went home once a year to get meds and visit family. I never in 20 years had to show my passport to anybody outside the airport. Never got a Filipino drivers license, I always told the cops that I just arrived. Never told a cop what my 'permanent address' was as I did not have one (by my definition). My mobility defeated every 'problem' I had with locals. I drove a truck and had numerous accidents, all they other guys fault. The cops always told me it was my fault, I just nodded and said nothing. Meh, nothing ever happened. For about 10 years I had no job, no house, no wife, in the Philippines. My life was just so EASY.
I was traveling on Mindinao in Cagayan De Oro and because i am white anytime i walked anywhere people would just come up to me yelling money with their hands out, people would pretend to be my friend then ask me to buy them things. There was lots of litter everywhere as people just buy food then drop the wrappers on the ground. I then traveled to Camigan to get away from the polluted city air and Camigan was very nice, but every waterfall and spring you are not allowed to look at their nature without paying money, then you go inside and it is so many filipino chubby ladies with kids and both the ladies and kids very loud screaming, while their man quietly looks broken in the background so it is hard to enjoy the beautiful nature. Then you learn about Utang Na Loob after getting into a relationship and it basically means the family expects you to be their slave and jsut give then the money you worked and saved for.
Dishonesty keeps me away from going back. Corruption is also standard practice. Hard to trust that anyone has your back. Everyone has their hands out looking for a payday.
Aloha, Things will get harder for those who are living there as a permanent residents on a tourist visa. Thailand and Vietnam have made new rules to stop that so I know the Philippines will crack down on that as well. I know many foreigners had there passport held at the airport after coming from a visa run. Immigration questioned them about how long they have been there? Many people living there on a tourist visa don't have enough money or enough insurance coverage to stay permanent, and because of this some foreigners have become homeless or stranded there.
@Ronald Mcdonald I hope so, although Vietnam kicked out all who were on tourist visa two weeks ago, then said they will put a limit on visa runs. This was due to many English teachers working on tourist visa. They also arrested many running the agency's that hired them. I was planning on getting my retirement visa this year but it looks like next year now.
You cannot live in vietnam, unless you marry or invest 150000 usd in a business. You cannot extend a tourist visa beyond 90 days. I have a visa exemption. Here now in HCMC.
The rules now are not the same as before covid when I made this comment. Many expats were living there and teaching without the proper requirements so they kicked all of them out when covid came and arrested many people that gave them teaching jobs, then they made new rules. @@FRANCISPOLLARD-r3p
It’s kinda like if a person wasn’t happy where they were living then it’s not likely they will be happy where ever they go. Happiness is a inside job not a outside job.
I think one of the main things is you have a girlfriend you're coming out to see or if you plan on retiring is go out there for a couple of months and see how you like it
Hi pretty lady Meljean, this topic is really great. Foreigners can learn a lot about the Philippines. The foreigners who wants to live with their loved ones in the said country. In this topic is still foreigners choices whether they have to stay or leave. Thanks for this great vlog.
I have been happily married to a Filipina for over thirty years, I think your country is beautiful, but to live there at my age with your health care system would be financial suicide. I have been twice for a month at a time and thoroughly enjoyed it but not to retire there.
I have a lot of respect for any immigrant that moves to a new country on their own. It takes the right balance of adventurous spirit and patience. Everything I've done when I visited Cebu has been under the guidance and care of my girlfriend. And I realize she has made so many things easier for me. So in that regard I am quite spoiled as a "foreigner" when I am there. But you know it's a good thing because it gave her a chance to help me, and gave me a chance to accept her help. And that's the foundation of a good relationship: helping each other. Personally I love my extended Filipino family, and friends of the family. And I've learned a lot from them. In my life I have been encouraged often to go to the Philippines by Filipino friends I met in the Navy. But I waited. And I suppose the reason I waited was because I knew I wanted it to be very special. It is just a feeling I have 😊❤️
The issue for me is not being expected to pay some things, it is the automatic assumption that a foreigner is rich so they have the ability to pay for these things.
Meljean, I certainly think about living in a paradise like The Philippines. Sometimes we have unrealistic images in our heads about how wonderful life could be somewhere else. I would probably need to spend a month or two first before making such a huge lifestyle change. You just don't know what you don't know. I do like your videos and appreciate the information. Thanks for sharing.
I know some foreigners married there and the number 1 complaint was constant begging for money from the relatives. To the point where it destroyed the family relationship. If you are just a walking wallet that is not a warm welcome, is it? You quickly learn to say no, or go broke? haha
I have already change my mind about relocating there because of the hustle and very slow services...thanks for being so honest,we don't get that here in USA
This had to be one of the best videos you ever put out and I've already been to the Philippines with that says I run into all the bad ones apparently I'm not looking in the right place thank you for the video and I will be back soon
I think the Philippines in theory (dreaming of living there on the white sand beach) is a pipe dream. In reality, living there long term, it’s a culture shock and everything is about pera (family or not) which can be viewed as you are an atm machine instead of a respected human being. Add the pandemic and now everyone asks for help, that’s my experience! Whether others agree or not!
Beaches are windy and dirty. Asking does not mean that you have to give. A lot is about money, but YOU have it so you can move on. You will never be a brother in the same sense as your wife is, get over it. Your life is building your life and everybody expects that, including your new family. When terrible things happen, your wife lives terrible news, i strongly suggest you give as the other family does.
Also do not recommend any dating sites, too many women think foreigners are rich so the dating sites has become the favorite ATM for most of Filipino women even so called innocent province girls
I have visited The Phillipines eight times pre covid and stayed from two weeks to a month with my wife and seen many of the sights. As truely beautiful as the beaches are i would never never never never live in the Phillipines . I mean i would NEVER live in The Phillipines under any circumstances whatsoever .The list would be over 100 reasons long and get longer as every week goes by . Simply The country has been made by Filipinos , for Filipinos by Filipino political families voted into to power by Filipino voters and governed by elected Filipinos since Independance in 1946 . If you don' t accept all that , do not even consider for a single minute living in The Philipines. Its that easy .
Politics is irrelevant to foreigners I know. Just ignore those politicians, they ignore you. Justice systems are deliberately inept, you as a foreigner are too slippery to be bothered by it. True, nobody in the justice system is on your side, but all enforcement is based on Filipinos being stuck in community, and community is something you can live without completely.
Just budget $500 per month for the family and you'll be good. It could be given monthly or weekly or on a need basis like tuition or medical but in all, it's $6K a year. It's not small money but you are helping a lot directly instead of giving to charities where they could just pocket the money.
Online relationship is a start but must meet face to face. I want to come over for month first without spending anytime in quarantine. So we wait patiently to maybe 2022 before meeting. I'm 68 she is 47 and know what is to be expected with family outings.
Cut their Rice Cooker power and she will cooperate to have it back. Once they stop cooking by wood they never want to give up the electric rice cooker. UK great but live where you want.
Married to a foreigner for 8 years now and makalipay Lang my family is not depending on me neither to my husband. Salmaat sa Ginoo my husband was the one insisting to send some penny During holidays. Amping day.
Hi Meljean, yes that's correct the administrative and banking things can be a pain in the ass, you sometimes need a mountain of patience, but in the end it will work out. These situations occur in both the Philipines and Thailand. In Thailand you can hire someone to renew your Visa every time, then you don't have to stand in line for half a day. greetings. 😀🙏
In matters of money... The easiest way I have found is to be loud and frequent about where the boundaries are. My rules are if you are not paying for yourself then you do not participate or go. Moms Dads Siblings and extended inlaws and outlaws. Then, if I decide to do something, its on my terms. I do not care who is crying, who is whining or who is dying. Too bad. So sad. Have a nice trip. Say hello to St Pete. Its the golden rule. He who has the gold makes the rules :) GUYS! Stop putting up with BS. It will end when you call their bluff. Eenie Meenie Chilli Beanie... (running your hands over the crystal ball) The spirits are about to speak (fart) I see your future! ALONE!! LOL
Massively incorrect. If your brother was sick and could not pay would YOU let him die? If you would, it says far more about you than the Philippines. Your wife has 100% access to your money. She just lets you think it is yours so you do not walk. If you think she does not, what is marriage about anyway? Love? Compassion? How do you decide how much your wife is worth paying for anyway? You have forced your wife to choose between you and her family, so far she selects you. Schit happens. I moved away from our family in the Philip[pines, it made life simpler. They still ask my wife for my money, and it makes me angry. But it does define what they think of me, honesty is the best policy even if it is bad news. I trust my wife completely, there is simply no other way.
My wife sends her own hard earned money to the Philippines. The reason I left. Same fruits and vegetables. Same foods. Its hot. Rats. Roaches. Mosquitos. The food will kill you if you are a westerner. Can’t buy anything of quality. The country has terrible consumer goods. Sofas. Beds. Any home goods really. Everything is crap and cheap. Horrible beyond belief health care. The Filipinos are the kindest nicest people in the world. I have traveled all over the world. You will never be treated as nice as Filipinos treat you anywhere in the world. Most foreigners girlfriend is married already or can’t afford to move home. Its an extremely hard life in the Philippines. Filipina is the best wife. My wife always says not all. If your a foreigner moving to Philippines. She must have a college education. NBI Clearance and a J-O-B. Never married. No divorce there. Educated women speak perfect English. Just like this woman. Otherwise you’ll probably get scammed.Good Luck.
Thanks for the video, Meljean. The fact that the Philippines is a poor developing country is the reason that 80% of guys who have always had a problem attracting girls now find it easy...embrace it and its pitfalls.
Hey Meljean, I've been happily married for 36-yrs. and here too one marries the family along with the spouse. The only difference I can see is that the Filipina family wants monthly assistance from the foreigner for as long as their married and probably help with the house as well. I personally wouldn't mind doing that if it's reasonable, besides . . . it gives me something to do and lifelong friendships are valuable, at least to me. I remember your earliest videos showcasing your simple province house, still have the house?
When I married my I didn't have to pay for my wife's family, she got a job here in the States and with her own money sent it to her own family. Foreigners don't have to pay for their wife's family!!
Same here. However that’s predicated on marrying a Filipina who has her act together. I married a Filipina with a college education from a middle class provincial family. So it’s not like her family needs our help. But she did learn quickly about if she wanted nice things and to send money home she’d better get a job that pays decent money. She has! She’s the pride of the Philippines in my eyes. Having said that. I have seen guys who had not put a lot of thought into if the Filipina they were courting could adapt to life where they live in the US. Most can easily if their English is competent. Those who don’t will really struggle hard at first. Then there are some Filipinas that shouldn’t go to the US as it would change them in ways that maybe wouldn’t be good. Maybe they would be happier living as a simple provincial girl.
@@samsilverman824 Well there is a certain truth behind what the British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli said when asked on his views about sex. “The moment is fleeting, the position embarrassing and the price damnable”. Having said that my misses and I have helped her family financially, mostly her parents, but we have done so responsibly and within our budget and it has little impact on our standard of living. Your point does, however, remain. There is always a price to be paid.
@@Mottleydude1 I hear ya. I know about B.D.. U made me think of woody allen's bromide that is "IF U AIN'T DOIN' IT DIRTY....U AIN'T DOIN' IT RIGHT!" There's NO position that would embarrass ME. No time for THAT kind of silly GUILT! Let the mission go on un-impeded. Paredes doesn't get the fact that her money is HIS & his $ is HERS coz they r MARRIED/COUPLED. It's a UNION. They r ONE. When she gives it's as if HE gave is it not? He's delusional. If u r paying your girl of the day in CASH...it's a good deal. To hell w/the movies...dining...& shopping. I can do THAT better alone. I insist on paying coz i don't want any favors asked of me later. "IT COSS(COSTS)TO BE THE BOSS!"
I have been to the Philippines 3 times and the only reason I left was my holiday time was over. So I will be retired so holiday time will be hopefully for a long time. I will suffer out the time it takes to extend my visitors visa. Last I checked you can extend your visa for up to 2 years then apply for a different visa. Yes it is very important to spend time with someone in person to see how things go when you are together all the time. My experiences and not just in the Philippines but anyway some people are totally different online then they are in person. I chat to some there but will not make a commitment to anyone till spending time in person. Foreigners have lots of money is not always true. Yes some have lots of money but myself I will have enough to live a simple comfortable life. Here in Canada it is very expensive to live so makes it hard to save. As for bad things well that can happen anywhere in this big world. I had my wallet stolen and people said to me why would you go back when the happened and I said that could happen here in Canada at anytime. Just need to be aware of your surroundings. For the most part I have felt very comfortable in the Philippines even in the city after dark going to the 7-11. You make lots of good points here and I hope you have not scared Tom away from coming back to the Philippines hahaha. I will be retired next time I go there so waiting to get things done will not be that big of a problem.
I was talking with someone about this last night and said that some people aren't flexible in their thinking so if something doesn't fit their preconceptions they can't adjust. I think that these are the people who sit around and complain expecting the Philippines to change for them
I have met a LOT of guys who do a whole lot of complaining. But not a one felt that they could change the Philippines. Complaining is about shared hardships, not proactive government.
Great vlog my friend you are right about those reasons why foreigners leave the philippines iv.e been travelling back and forth to the philippines for more then fifteen years I have decided that I will relocate there when Manila reopens it.s gets really Lonely without my new fiancee I truly love this video you are well spoken and very professional in your way of explaining the reasons why foreigners leave the philippines you look really great in that outfit very Gwapa have an awesome Adlaw Sa Dios Love Lots
I believe that something that is very important to live in the Philippines is know foreigners really don't have any rights. 1. Be careful about what you say as you not be accepted and the Pilipino will become very angry with you and not talk to you for a week or maybe several weeks or more. 2. You can't own anything here and you need your Pilipino partner or wife to own everything. 3. Don't try have a opion about politics or how the government works. 4. You might need to marry a Pilipino in order to get a permanent residence and their is no divorce so the annulment takes years. I married a widow that still loves her husband very much and so it is something I learned after being married. And now I find out she worships her deceased husband and I recieve no love in our relationship. I think the Philippines is a nice place to visit, but think about it carefully as that is why I want share my experiences.
Once thought about it, but between family politics, work politics, expectation to pay for everything etc., it feels like you become a human ATM card. Hence, it is annoying and you never get comfortable. I wouldn't want to stay.
if you are sincere and honest to your foreigner partner walang dapat ikatakot...be honest, there is trust and respect i dont see any problem at all...they will stay with u forever
Thank you for this information. I always wanted to know if marrying the family only applies to foreigners or also the Filipino that marries the Filipina as well.
Yap! That's only if your foreigners and look for partner in Bar and Club you'll get Gold Digger.. That's apply in all country.. Never seen any foreigner in non- profits organization and Active church volunteers, here where women and girls not like that..
I don't know that I'd want to live in the Philippines right now with all of the panic over the bug. Also not being able to own property is problematic when planning to live somewhere long term. It's hard to have a long-term budget when things like rent an HOA fees can go up at anytime. Where as if you could buy a piece of land and build a home on it you can have more fixed expenses. Buying property for someone else even if it is a spouse is just that. You're buying them a house that they may allow you to live in provided you pay all of the bills. As for supporting the family, give a Filipino family $1,200 a month and they'll love you forever. Your American girlfriend will spend that much a month just on Starbucks and still cheat on you, dump you then go around telling everyone you're a loser. Plus you can set boundaries. I think it's best to buy them a small business. Instead of giving them monthly support just buy them something that gives them a source of income that they can work to grow. Even a little sari sari store that they can run to make money for themselves or a little piece of land that they can farm on. That way they make their own money and aren't dependent upon you.
Marriage to the family is one thing. Supporting the family is something different. I think that with out boundaries money can be detrimental to any relationship. I don’t mind helping when I want to help but not every-time someone needs that help. That can be a never ending string of help. Just imagine if every member of your family want to borrow your car everyday to do things on a daily basis and you did not get much use out of the car except to pay for it.
I agree 100% - well stated. "Without boundaries money can be detrimental to any relationship." If not careful, it can be very easy to become the ATM Machine for the entire family tree -- and that is BS.
Thing to remember about philippines is that families have to pool their resources to make ends meet.
@@SRT480 True, but it does not mean the Westerner has to pool 100% of the resources.
@@user-DrJoe-Future for sure.
@@SRT480 Correct sir you take one contributor from the family unit and it affects the financial situation of the rest.
If you love your filipina a small contribution to the parents will be appreciated to help the family budget.
I was born in England, spent a few years as a child in Australia. Returned to England, Manchester, I work in construction so I worked all over UK on various projects. Came to HK on the new airport and came for 2 weeks (which stretched to 2.5 years) working in Batangas in June 1998. Met my wife in August 1998 married in February 1999 and have been here ever since. I like to think that this is the country I was destined to be in. As a child I had a large atlas and loved looking at countries and imagining what they would be like and the shape and islands of the Philippines always intrigued me. Of course there was the "Thriller in Manila" that made the news but before the internet little was known in the UK about this place. Maybe I was lucky but I am a great believer in fate and destiny. I have more here than I could ever have achieved in UK. Davao is my home and this is where I will stay. My wife and me are stronger now than ever but I knew when I met her she was the one. Don't let love blind you and think hard about committing yourself to this wonderous place and if you make the right choices you will be rewarded.
Beautiful story!
@@kevinsoundmixer ITs just dust in my eye , I'm certain of it , They writes Novels on stories like this!
@Dumb Mutts. Thanks for sharing that story. Was wondering how you were able to work in the Philippines when you first arrived? What type of employment did you have?
@@poiqweee I was working for a company in HK who were in partnership with Fort Bonifacio Holdings ,who were developing BGC, and the partnership company had other work mainly in Luzon.. They needed someone of my experience for a project in Batangas so they asked me if I fancied coming to Philippines, I said yes. So the Philippines company arranged my work visa. As we were a consultancy it was very easy to get a work visa based on being a visiting consultant.
@@dumbmutts.7758 Interesting. Thanks for the reply. That worked out quite well for you.
I guess that I will be one of the lucky ones. I have met and been doing online relationship for 3 years now. She does not want to live close to family but not too far away. She is always trying to earn her own money and not asking me for it. Her family is great and they actually earn their money that I send them. They work hard for me. I did have to weed my way through filipinas for different reasons, like they want an US visa and move to America or they want the money.
Now I have a wonderful beautiful filipina wife. I will retire in the Philippines and have spent plenty of time there to understand their culture better.
I do agree with all that you said in the video. I have learned patience and my wife is the one getting angry now about how things are done in the Philippines.
Wow, that was really direct, but thank you for keeping it REAL! I think anybody having to live within a new system of rules and reasons would find it difficult at first. How do Filipina women feel who have moved to their mates home country.... how have they learned to deal with those changes? When somebody makes permanent changes in their life, they have to expect the changes, and try to prepare or at least to adjust to them. Each new venture in life brings certain new changes, its part of the package. Dealing with new problems, in life or in general, is what makes us better when we solve that problem, makes us more able to adapt. In the end, what someone will endure to be with their mate, depends on the strength of that relationship. I LIKE these 'deeper-subject' posts that make you think, hope you do more in the future....
A highly relevant question, do they plan to immigrate and if so, what life to the envision after that? Most Filipinos would think that the vast majority of life's problems can be solved with more money so it is primary in their thinking. But most of the Filipina I know in the USA are lonely, and the Philippines they left simply does not exist any more. You can't go home because the home you remember does not exist any more. Yes, they have way more money than they had in the PI but it is still poverty outside of the Philippines.
She had no problem with an older guy, but now she is 55 and alone in the house.
Only if you let the extended family take advantage of you. He can always say no. Also, he can set boundaries and live far from her family diba.
I met my fiance 12 years ago and I have been there many times since.
I like the people, the laid back way of life.
I can even do without all the technology.
This is one of the main reasons why I love the Phillipines so much
I will be retiring to the Phillipines
I lived in the Philippines for 20 years and I primarily visited foreigners. I do not value "Filipino culture" but I simply loved my time there, wish I could go back.
Why foreigners leave after thinking they will finish their life there.
#1 They love their wives and children, and can see the opportunities in the countries they left as opposed to the Philippines. They all know they will die eventually and see their loved ones left behind.
#2. They get sick. Most foreigners are above 65 and chronic illness is part of aging. Fake meds are the rule not the exception. They have Medicare in the US and other programs in other countries. it is one thing to say you are going to die, it is a different question when you are going to die if you do not get consistent meds and then selecting that.
#3. Too much bull shit. A culture where it seems everything is a lot harder than it needs to be. And it is made that way by people who think being a government employee gives you discretion. People everywhere with made up jobs established by government edict so some guy with a little power can take a cut. My favorite is prohibiting taxies to come to the airport without a fee, and designing the airport so you can't walk out with luggage. I would estimate that a solid 30% of the income in the Philippines is earned via some connection to an inside deal of some sort.
#4 Racism. Hi Joe! Racism is overt, nobody is the least bit ashamed to admit and draw conclusions from the obvious, you are a foreigner. You are typical. You will be stupid with your money. You will marry for sex. You believe in government. You take things at face value when nobody else in the Philippines does. You are invited to events because somebody has to pay. You have money without work. If you do not play along, it is YOUR FAULT that people are angry at you.
#5 Boredom. This is most common with guys who made a plan and then that plan was completed in a lot less time than they thought. There is no work. Many foreigners are afraid and do not get out much. The TV is in a foreign language. Internet sucks. Fun stuff is expensive.
#6 Money trouble. You know a guy is going to leave when he says "I am going to start a new business to keep busy". He is going to go broke, and see that his "cushion" has evaporated. Literally thousands of ways to lose your nest egg. There are very few things cheaper in the Philippines. You can buy lower quality for less. Sure, fish is cheaper but it has not been handled safely. Safety rules exist in first world because ignoring them results in really bad stuff happening. I was a general contractor in CA, never saw a single building in the Philippines that followed Filipino building codes 'strictly'. Building codes exist because 1 in 10,000 has an event that has horrific outcomes.
#7 Loneliness. The world around you in the Philippines was there before you came, and they have to work for a living, they have friends for years before, you are older with cash and that is a tiny group in the Philippines. You have family, but that family has responsibilities that you do not have. You speak a foreign language.
I have known thousands of foreigners, if I were to guess only 1 in 10 who plans his retirement there actually stays more than 10 years. Less than half stay more than 5 years.
What is the percentage of foreigners staying in the philippines for good?
@@ricardoestupinan2013 Of those i know, less than 10% who claim they will stay "forever". This includes those who died. Filipino's are smart and they mostly want to get out.
I agree, what you say is true -- good or bad.
Respectfully, you lived there for 20 years in a "tourist" mentality. Every shortcoming you mentioned exists in many so called "civilized" nations. First principle of survival of the fittest, "Adapt or become extinct"
@@hanymessiha1416 I mentioned no "shorcomings" but observations. How very Filipino of you, when somebody describes your country in terms that you do not feel complimentary, your reply is essentially "somebody else on earth is just as stupid" It is true that turtles and rats work on the principle of survival of the fittest, which as a Filipino are you emulating?
I was prohibited by law from working, or from owning land. What other than tourist is legal for me anyway?
I have perhaps met 5000 Filipinos, I can say that only 7 saw me as a person first and a foreigner second. And for me, it is the reverse.
Answer a question for me will ya, who told Filipinos foreigners came to the Philippines to learn Filipino culture? Great weather. Cheap food. Laid back rural life. beautiful. Adventure if you want it. A get away.
I'm a foreigner but my family lives in the Philippines.
Been going there for 10 years. Sad to say, nothing much has improved especially the infrastructures. The other being the inconsistent & mind boggling policies due to poor foresight & planning.
Normally some people leave bc of the heat, brownouts, their relationship ended, or they ran out of money.
And they’re not compatible
True.. Summer in the Philippines is 366 days in a year.
I love the heat there. It's like an Australian summer day for me. Food is excellent. Especially the street foods in the market in San Francisco on Camotes Island
It not for every one that for sure i cant see living there year round it can be boring at time all city look the same some province area are more scenic than other . It really suck with covd you cant sight see.
And the way they drive it is dangerous to drive in the Philippines and Filipinos are arrogant people very jealous also.
In my opinion you can not date online you can just meet online.
I never experience any of these financial issues, not enough to worry about anyways ..Just on travel and eating out etc set boundaries ..We go vacations in nice places (pre -covid) My wife always stands her ground for me and looks after me all the time , have never been taken advantage of . I love the family , culture and foods ..I always feel a sense of freedom when kicking back and relaxing. Love my wife and daughter . What more can a person ask for .
I'm Filipino and I'm still learning patience everytime I visit. 🙂
funny.. yeah.. I live here in your country.. Philippines tests my patience weekly. Usually with a line somewhere...
I think that OFWs that have been gone from the Philippines for awhile and come back after seeing how things are done elsewhere complain the most lol
I love to see women From Philippines To Texas be nice to find one is alone and rich and so beautiful
I have been there many times and even have a big beautiful home with all the western conveniences, but never considered anything but visits, because of hundreds of things that I did not like. Electrical and water problems, no sidewalks and poor food choices. I could go on and on but the point is I like to visit and bring my Filipina wife back to visit her family and can tolerate some inconveniences for a month, but I can avoid many of the day to day problems by not staying too long. We ship food there to eat and have backup generator for power and don't need to deal with the beauricy for that short stay. I do realize all the problems of living there long term, and glad to come back home to the USA with good water, reliable electric and good food and hospitals and real sidewalks and streets. I kind of look at a trip to the Philippines as a rustic camping trip, fun for a short time, but no fun for long term.
Bruce..."A RUSTIC CAMPING TRIP"! Hahahahahaha! Spot on. The province is brutal. I'd live only in MAKATI. Most of my needs r THERE.
Thanks for your comment. You told me pretty much all I need to know.
You kind of like slumming it for a while do ya Bruce. . But god forbid eating the food. Obviously everyone should have food shipped over. That’s really environmentally sound and respectful. Of course everyone should have a high spec house there and one back home. What are these people thinking of.
Sa parte ng bundok ng Philippines ka siguro nagpunta kaya ganun ang situation .
How American of you!
Had that issue too, I am a foreigner met a Filipina with kids, she doesn't work I gave it a try, big mistake, once her family found out I was a foreigner none stop asking, I helped but it became so rampant I decided to end the relationship, I didn't come here to feed the whole family, I don't care if that's their culture, I warned her many times but it was ignored, again I will not get involved with any Filipina relationship, I know some foreigners who had the same issues.
You’re so beautiful, and I know exactly what you’re talking about I’ve been with a Filipina for a few years now. Good standers but kind of scary for us Westerners
Right now many foreigners are leaving bc their 3 year visas are running out. Others are sick of masks and lockdowns.
You Nailed it! totally correct!
Others are broke😂
@@thinkforyourself9334 That too. especially if they had a business here.. in tourism.
I wouldn't come to Philippines now .. the way they treat people due to covid is inhuman.. cant be in a military state..
I have few shining medals decorating on my chest for failed relationships with filipinas. ….. whatever the reason I m not debating on that. My point is if as in my case if you like the country which do have abundance of natural beauty, awesome locations. Also friendly people specially in countryside. And want to live here for good it’s very much possible . Just don’t get involved in emotional relationships with a filipina. If the pension of yours is around 1.5 K US Dollars Take a retirement visa . Just live there. Filipino in general are friendly. And they don’t bother you. Develop good friends. Life will be easy. Just as in any other part of the planet avoid the situation specially the emotional relationship with big age gaps. I planned my retirement there. Been visiting Philippines since 2008 almost every year. Apart from this two years . Good luck guys. Meljean you are doing good. Remain blessed and charming always
I married a Filipina, we took good care of family but then they became very hateful to the wife when i bought her a new scooter and we was budgeting through the pandemic. The mom & dad spread rumors to the village about my wife. so she was heart broken. I made her kick them out of the New house I built for them to live in. Respect is Everything and people like that I refuse to coddle. So their own hate drove them to hardship.. Me & the wife will be fine. We have plans for other family members to help soon.
If you married a pilipina you help his family in relatives.
@@wildflower7961 we tried. But I wont pay people to do nothing
You have to obey her mom and dad !
@@cwaaaat3872 Nooooo LOL
@@wildflower7961 We had planned that But After their behavior they burnt that bridge
RUclips algorithm led me to this video... And I really appreciate your video. As someone who is seriously considering retirement in the Philippines, this content is very helpful. And I truly appreciate your fluency of English, Meljean.
As an Aussie I think I would struggle to live there mainly because of the heat and humidity and also because its a less politically stable country with less business opportunities.
You mentioned almost everything that is trying about the PI. Some are the foreigners issues. Not having a source of income is totally foolish. The biggest issue I have is the infrastructure. The difficulty acquiring internet service, Brown out, and such. Out of stock, and not available is another one. The biggest one to me is the BI, and LTO don't seem to be on the same sheet of music. BI in Lapu Lapu will issue a 6 month extension, but Mandaue city will only issue 2 months. All of these government institutions have signs saying don't use fixers, but you can hire a fixer for all of them. The government claims to be anti corruption, but have seen it business as usual.. Thanks for your informative video..
brown out? that s stupid
@@MMABeijing its a term used to describe when power goes into low voltage mode.
It's not just the foreigner the family might take advantage of. Many OFW's we meet and talk with in Canada are also expected to be the family bank account. It is not an easy life. It is expensive to live in the West. Housing and food prices are much higher in North America. Working can be very stressful and many employers are unforgiving. But it doesn't seem to matter to the family back home in the Philippines, as long as they get their remittance every two weeks, the one overseas working to provide for them is an afterthought, and that same attitude persists for the foreign guy living in the Philippines. He is simply expected to provide for the entire family, if that family is poor
Let them know early on you not gonna be a golden cow idk. I'd only help if its extremely neccesary. If I see lazy people waiting for the weekly paycheck they can wait for it.
I agree, totally, my wife, sends half, of her us salary, to Philippines, exactly on her payday, the phone rings. She does not understand, who her REAL family is, me the husband, and our kids. Period. The worst thing, one can do, is to send money, that way, they never learn, to take care of themself.
Thanks Meljean as this was really informative. I agree about developing nations and found dating a girl from Thailand was similar. Unfortunately it seemed every day to be all about money and I started and concluded the love was all tied to money. This was after some time living in Thailand and both of us for a year in Australia that this ‘love’ was one sided and broke my heart again. I stay single and divorced and hope to find a companion where the above is not the case. I feel the need to take care of somebody but it needs to be a genuine partnership not based only on money. I can’t judge all women in Asia or in other places for that matter based on this one experience but wonder if the same was asked from my partner I just met to pay for my families expenses would go. I get poverty seeing both the Phillipines and Thailand to date. I’m a generous person and I’m always adapting to change to earn a living and save and love to share this. Money doesn’t come easily no matter where you live. This is the same in your case working hard to produce a great channel and chasing your dreams with life and a relationship with Tom in your case, being successful and able to support your self and your loved ones is achievable. You have earned though hard work in an educated way and very impressed with you Meljean as I’m sure Tom is as well. You give me hope that such a partner exists!. I know cultural differences are the big thing to consider but being the ATM machine shouldn’t play a part in love…so I will keep searching or not in the meantime. Great video today birthday girl!
Can't own land is a very big deal breaker
Why own land in a country without set laws, rules and regulations, and where things can change completely overnight... what's up with the stupid idea of buying land in third-world countries? It's rediculously cheap to rent, which leaves you with money to invest in other things including real estate in the country you come from, where you hopefully get a clear title and a deed. It's downright stupid unless it's done as a gift to a gf or wife. You have no rights in third world countries, period, and you want to buy land there...??? Moronic idea to say the least.
I can tell you why I left. I was in the US Navy in transit to Vietnam. After 3 days of heavy drinking on Magsaysay in Olongapo I came down with a severe case of the "Philippine fall aparts". After 3 days of being scammed by bar girls, snatch and grab pick pockets, rip-off jeepney hustlers and constant gunfire by Huks and criminal gangs I was glad to get back to Cua Viet, Vietnam where I could carry a gun.
That must have been a very very long time ago. The world has developed quite a bit since then.
@@richardkuhne5054 It was 1968 under Ferdinand Marcos' martial law. Everybody was carrying guns except us. Kinda like California is today.
@@dougpoulton5544 wow, you must be in your mid 70's Sir. I went to the Philippines first time in 2010 and it felt very peaceful :) - I guess you must have been there once again after 1968 but if not i suggest to try once again after Covid is over. You would be surprised how Subic Bay looks like today.
YOU are absolutely gorgeous. BUT - I don't want to date \ pay for the entire family, wait hours in line at a grocery story, or sit for hours in unregulated traffic. Guess I'm staying in New York.
Dont really want to listen to people yelling about donald trump or abortion or wasting food and spending hours buying junk i dont need either
Also you forgot the black outs here, it happens quiet often for hours or days, infrastructure here is Stone Age, medical care is substandard, you have to wait hours before being seen by a medical staff, traffic here is herrnedance, lawless society, driving here is dangerous and pure hell, I was born and raised n New York City, come here and see first hand, NYC is paradise compared to driving in the Philippines, I am planning on gong back to the USA in may 2023, I am not coming back there again.
I was in cebu and bohol for a month in 2019! I absolutely loved it and I want to come back!!!
I am from Mexico, living here for a few years now, and while I see more positive views than cons, if I had to leave would be because of the traffic and the “expat tax” on some things and services 🤣 anything else is about being patient and know somebody. Everything is so slow in here, but I believe it will get better as more systems are placed. I hope 🤞🏻-Emman
Philippines is still in the 90s
I love the Philippines MJ,especially Camotes Island and Cebu. I love the beauty of the area. I absolutely love the weather there n I will sit on my terrace in the mid afternoon watching the people walk or ride past our little house in San Isidro MJ. When it's time to travel to the beach. All the gfs family n relatives are always welcome along n I pay for the cost of transport and look after the costs. I don't mind bringing family members with us on vacation MJ. Gone to Bantayan Island n bring Liza parents and sister along to experience new Island. Also to the city when I arrive n book hotel rooms for them to stay in and I will try book nice restaurant to eat in.
Your GF is indeed VERY LUCKY Sir
You’re GENEROUS TOO
That’s why her Irish bf left her in the middle of Pandemic.
Yes, Camotes island is simple and lovely, and yet adventurous enough to explore
@@eugeneraj6357 with beautiful beaches and wonderful foods. Amazing caves to explore. Our neighbours are very friendly and helpful
Man I hated Cebu. Hot, dirty, dangerous and expensive. Lived there 3 years. The farther south you go the better the climate, more equatorial than tropical. I settled first in Dipolog after Cebu then moved to Kitcharao (N of Butuan). Everything costs less and the forest is near making the scenery dramatic.
Great video- thank you. Brought back many memories!
Yes, when you marry a Filipina, you marry the family! But, that does NOT mean your their BREAD Winner. If you do something finically once, then it will ALWAYS be expected. In their EYEs your are RICH. But, we all have BUDGETS. My advice ... set the ground rules before engaging in a relationship. By that, you layout your financial expectations. What I evaluate is "Would they do this, or could afford this, on their own PESO?" Paying the TAB for the entire family vacation is the quickest way to go BROKE. And, when the MONEY is gone, your kick to the curb. The family has NO use for you anymore. Just keep things in perspective ... your NOT a Filipino!
I know what you mean by paying for the whole family.Believe me I have heard some horror stories and yes they are all true.
Communication is the key in every type of relationship...never assume
Not all Filipino are the same
Not all filipinos are the same… a lot of filipinas have their own money and very independent..
The family got by before you came along and they will get by when you are no longer around. Remember you worked for your money they didn't work for your money so they should not expect any of it
Just to EDUCATE your subscribers ... If you want the Western style of living ... you will pay Western PRICES! In the mall, imported items (Levi's, Nike, etc.) are ~5-10% more than in the states. Why? Import tax! Western restaurants are the same price and more for STEAK (beef) houses. Electricity cost is significantly high than in the US. With that said, you do NOT see many homes with central AC. If you are unwilling to compromise, stay in the West. Hopefully you came to the Philippines to experience their culture, food, and people. When in the Philippines, do like a Filipino! :)
@Pinkie Ocampos For me, I was in the United States Air Force assigned to Clark Air Base. I was evacuated after the Mount Pinatubo eruption in June of 1991. I have returned on several occasions. Some things have changed and some things have stayed the same. Good memories ... :)
my electric bill here in the Philippines is 80 dollars an month. Not cheap! lol..
I am married 16 years with american our First 2years together we eat everyday at Italian restaurant now we cook our own food and it's better than the restaurant 😁 local beef tenderloin is the best and not expensive... We bought a lot in exclusive subdivision but we did not build the house we rented a house in same subdivision where we owned a lot...we rented a house an extension of owners house 2bedrooms 2 bath our overall expenses for rent electric/water bill garbage and subdivision association fees total 22k monthly...our lot price now is 10x more...
Hi Meljean .. Family is the most important thing 🙏🏼
Hi Meljean I allways enjoy your videos. Have some comment on your video. I'm from Norway and have been married to a filipina for 17years. Off course it has been some challenge sometimes , different lifestyle,religion, and culture shock, and the countries are very different, but we have solved all problems together, and travelling every summertime to Cebu for 5 weeks where we have a nice holiday house in Mactan near Cebu Pasific resort, so for me and my wife Philippines will allways be my best vacation county ever, and will also retire there😊❤ and best of all I have a loving family there who we have lots of fun with . Ok they say if you marry a filipina you marry the family I have never felt that way. I was very strict at that point. My policy was to help the family if needed dont spoiled them😊
I would love to go there and meet a beautiful filipina. But, I don't think I can handle taking care of their entire family.
That's what I'm thinking myself!
I know I couldn't stand the heat and humidity there. I don't have patience with people that lie to me ( saving face ). Saving face ( lying ) is childish and when people realize that you lied to them, it makes you look stupid so how did the person actually save face ? I do think the Philippines is a beautiful place with wonderful people overall. Every country has its faults. You do an excellent job on your videos, I really enjoy them. Thank you.
First, humidity is a part of the tropics, go south and it is far less, an equatorial climate.
saving face and lying are part of talking to strangers. Your wife will not do that to you.
I was just reminded of another problem I might have. Late night karaoke, barking dogs, and ROOSTERS!
its true sir, thats one of their habit
As silly as seems, you actually get used to it. After living in the Philippines for a combined 10 years, I remember coming back to the US and not being able to fall asleep bc of the dead silence 😂
Theres no dogs in your country that barks ?
Id rather hear the roosters and dogs than hear the gun fire killing scores of Americans.
I might be able to handle the karaoke, but I hate the roosters they drive me nuts.
From everything that I have learned so far about the Filipinos ….. what you say is correct …. The Philippines is not for everybody if you are not open minded and are used to a different life style and beliefs …… This is a huge change for most ….. but for those that are open minded and can adapt to this belief and culture…… could also be very awarding …… I have a friend who is in this very situation …. But stuck with his girl and being open minded ….. is now very happy there …. Going on 2 years now …. He said it was the best decision he ever made …. but it took time for him to adjust …. But stuck with it and his decisions there ….. medical insurance there was one of his biggest hurdles and was stressful . He did get it in time .
I also have to say that finding someone on line …. For any Country , usually does not end well if you do not learn and try to understand their ways of life before hand …. It is important to go and learn about their way of living to see if you could adapt …. Even if that means being part of the families traditions ……. and being part of their family life . Don’t expect them to have to change to your ways of life because you are not willing to change …. That is just being selfish ….. That is part of the love with your mate . The same if the Filipino came to your Country …. It works both ways ….. if you meet one in your Country …. Then the same applies ……
I think you did a great job of explaining how things are there …. That Country shouldn’t have to change for you ….. they have to be willing to change and adapt to that Country .
Well I decided to jump ahead a bit on your videos … and go backwards a little bit ….. ok …. I guess I’ve said enough …. As usual …. Till next time .
Thank you , this is the most useful video, I was planning to find a wife and moved to the Philippines but you provided the feedback that I needed before making my decision . THANK YOU !!
I’m an Asian American living here in the Philippines now for over 2 years in BGC where sold and gave up everything back home. I’m looking for a strong independent beautiful Filipina which already had two ex’s which they didn’t know what they want. Someone smart, beauty and wonderful personality. It’s beautiful and peaceful for me as well cost of living is very affordable since medically retired from the US military
I was in and out of Clark AB in the USAF from 82-87 and back again for a month back in 2000. I was also in Hawaii when Mt. Pinatubo blew its top and helped coordinate evacuation of US military and their families. Anyway I loved the place and the people (still do) lol. Been thinking about a trip back now that I am in my 60s. However, COVID and the latest typhoon have put a damper so all I can do I’d plan and watch channels like this. Thank for the content and stay safe.
Guys know what they are getting into when it comes to helping out with the family. And they enjoy being able to help. They love being part of a family. But time goes on. As we age - and people go through lean financial times - they become grumpy. Not only towards their partner - but to *everyone*. And it gets embarrassing when someone gets angry at strangers when vacationing or hanging out., When that happens - don't be surprised if the relationship winds down and ends. Eh. Not everyone is a cheapskate with helping their partner - as in so many of the comments here. It's not about money.
Hi Mel other nationalities think the same way especially if the family members are close. You marry one family member you marry the whole family.
So true, I went to the Philippines in 2014, met my wife had 3 kids, and 146 relatives 🤣🤣 I love them all, we left just before the covid thing happened. Remember MJ her RUclips is just a sideline, she will be fine.
I heard from a reliable source that you are not obligated to help your Filipina wife's family. It is merely something that you want to do after becoming part of the family.
But there is an expectation which you can't avoid.
Lol, your reliable source is a sample size of one? All relationships and family support requirements are going to be different. If you're dating a Filipina who supports her younger siblings through school then you'll probably need to replace that support should you take her away from that environment, that's just one example but a very common occurrence.
Your not obligated to but most woman who came from poor families tend to take care of their family members and that is why some marries foreigner because of that but not those who are in the middle and upper class
Well I've never been to the Philippines but I think the Filipina ladies are some of the most beautiful women in the world to me but since I'm not a rich man and it would be a financial strain on me to take care of someone else's family so there's no reason for me to go to the Philippines and fall in love. I would just be a big disappointment to them.... Thank you for the info.
@@jimmyrichardson7448 As I commented earlier all relationships and family support requirements will be different. Not all Filipino families need supporting, in some cases a Filipina could be one less mouth to feed or she might just be happy to get away from lazy family members who are always depending on her for money. A lot of couple decide to move far from family. Don't let us put you off going there, you'll never know if you don't go.
MJ everything you have outlined can be found out by doing your research before coming to PI. For any major change in your life to be successful you need to research and plan. If you do that then your chance of success (staying in PI) is much higher. Covid has also caused many to leave PI but they are desperate to return (especially Tom and who can blame him when you are there waiting for him). Thank you for more informed advise. God bless
Nice video. I'd like to comment on the Visa reason. I have lived and vlogged here in the Philippines for 1 1/2 years now. I am in and out of my Local BI office in 10 to 15 min. Every time. They are very professional, friendly, and nice. It takes me longer to drive there and back then the actual process to renew my Visa. I moved here knowing most of what you said just be researching and visiting here many times before actually moving here for an early retirement. I will say. Patience. You are right on that. I do highly dislike waiting an hour just to check out at the Grocery store. I fixed this by going to smaller grocery stores more often.. I'm in and out in 10 minutes. Learn to adapt and change here. Keep an open mind. The top reasons I think Foreigners are leaving now. Tourist visa is running out. If you were here 1 1/2 years prior to the pandemic.. you now have to leave for your 3 year visa run. and you cant come back. Sucks. Also.. Noise and Food. I know alot of foreigners here who cant take the loud motor bikes, roosters, barking dogs or Karaoke machines til late in the night. If noise bothers you.. Make sure to pick a quiet place to live in a more affluent neighborhood. Food, now i really love Filipino foods, Fish, rice, Adobo, etc etc.. But if you are a Steak and lunchmeat sandwhich guy.. You gotta have top of the line sushi and say great italian food all the time. This country probably isn't for you. Make sure you live in or near a bigger city to get these types of foods. anyway.. just my 2 cents. I'm going for longest comment ever. I've always been a big fan of yours.. And Tom's. I even watch Tom's vlog now that he is back in Ireland! Cheers, from San Juan La Union! Mark
Wow, I resolved the tourist visa run around by bribing the Immigration officer at the airport for balikbyan. Never failed...
A better solution to noise is concrete walls and air tight windows. Affluent neighborhoods are dead, no street life at all.
How long do you have to stay gone after you reach your 3rd year?
Thank you for your comment. I appreciate that.
i like many things about the Philippines. I think it is nice when you go to the mall and you hear hello sir by all the guards. Filipinos are super friendly. When you have a Filipina gf she is very attentive to your needs. she is usually thin and attractive, Filipino foods are quite tasty especially Pansit, adabong manok and leche flan. Tagalog is not that difficult to learn especially seeing it has many Spanish words in it. I think if i were to marry a Filipina and live in the Philippines I would live in the country possibly close to Bagio so that I could have cows.
Most of the things that are mentioned in the video are true throughout South East Asia. I have dated a woman in Cambodia and i was expected to pay for trips we went on. The only time i would protest is if she wanted me to take her sister to Thailand with us. Then i would tell her that i will deduct the expenses from her allowance. I think the major issue with living in the Philippines which is not present in other South East Asia has to come with income. If I am dating a woman in Cambodia, Viet Nam or Thailand I can easily find an English teaching job that will pay me enough to support myself which would be difficult to find in the Philippines. If i really needed to earn money I can teach in China, Japan, Korea, or Vietnam. I can earn better salaries in China than I could in the USA which is a major reason i like living in China.
One benefit to the Philippines is that most people speak english whereas if you live in Cambodia you would have to learn to speak Khmer unless you only plan to live in Phnom Penh, Siem Reap, or Sihanoukville. However since the pandemic, i have been making a point to learn Khmer and I am now able to go to the market and have some basic conversations in the Khmer language. I find the more i learn the more I want to learn.
Yes, same opinion, first when you live together as a couple you really see if the relationship works. I have a Filipino boyfriend and can't wait to meet him.
@Chan Zhan Because they believe in Jesus Christ like me. The most men in my age in Switzerland doesnt believe in God. 2nd is that I am already 37 and its hard to find a man here who is not divorced already! I had a relationship which was 10 years to a swiss man. Unfortunately we broke up as I was 26. After 30 its very hard to find a man here. And there is much easier. Even younger man (not only 40 and older like here) are interested to have a relationship with me. And it happened, I fall in love with a Filipino. That was the main reason. i didnt search. We met in an online game. Watch my channel to see more about me and my mahal and friends in the Phils. Greetings Susanne.
@@switzerlandandthephilippines Congratulations! I can attest that it is the same in the USA, Susanne. A quality Christian believer, not a Catholic believer who also believes in Jesus, but tends to idolize patron saints, relies on a priest as an intercessor and typically do not read the bible daily as a devotional and pray directly to God as in a personal relationship. I see both Christians and Catholics who go to church every Sunday and attend the churches social events, but during their away time from church are no different in their behavior than the worldly non believers. The majority of people with some Godly belief are more followers of what leaders teach, rather than reading and learning what the bible truly has to say and teach.
Poor and contradictory government policies would be a good reason to leave.
Like US
@@Filo-Joe maybe..
Racist are not welcome
@@igop8583 I agree.
@@igop8583 . What’s that got to do with anything? 🤔
No relationship is perfect, time together love grows over time.
Definitely true , I like your statement.
@@fedilaranoa3542 Not always, Sometime you find out that there are too many differences and not enough common interests. Love fades away.
I`m very surprised that you mentioned immigration. I lived in many south east countries, and my opinion is, in Philippines is far the best and easiest visa regulations. The reason why I moved away from Thailand was the horrible visa rules and all the hassle around it, just a pain in the A.... In Philippines 2 x i month, after that every 6 month up to 3 years. If you happen to live in a big city with a lot of customers in immigration, well if you can not handle waiting once in 6 month`s, so yes maby you should go back home and stay there.
After I got balikbyan legally, Coming back from the states I bribed immigration at the airport, $200, for balikbayan again. Made my life so much simpler. I went home once a year to get meds and visit family.
I never in 20 years had to show my passport to anybody outside the airport. Never got a Filipino drivers license, I always told the cops that I just arrived. Never told a cop what my 'permanent address' was as I did not have one (by my definition).
My mobility defeated every 'problem' I had with locals.
I drove a truck and had numerous accidents, all they other guys fault. The cops always told me it was my fault, I just nodded and said nothing. Meh, nothing ever happened.
For about 10 years I had no job, no house, no wife, in the Philippines. My life was just so EASY.
I was traveling on Mindinao in Cagayan De Oro and because i am white anytime i walked anywhere people would just come up to me yelling money with their hands out, people would pretend to be my friend then ask me to buy them things. There was lots of litter everywhere as people just buy food then drop the wrappers on the ground. I then traveled to Camigan to get away from the polluted city air and Camigan was very nice, but every waterfall and spring you are not allowed to look at their nature without paying money, then you go inside and it is so many filipino chubby ladies with kids and both the ladies and kids very loud screaming, while their man quietly looks broken in the background so it is hard to enjoy the beautiful nature. Then you learn about Utang Na Loob after getting into a relationship and it basically means the family expects you to be their slave and jsut give then the money you worked and saved for.
Dishonesty keeps me away from going back. Corruption is also standard practice. Hard to trust that anyone has your back. Everyone has their hands out looking for a payday.
Aloha, Things will get harder for those who are living there as a permanent residents on a tourist visa. Thailand and Vietnam have made new rules to stop that so I know the Philippines will crack down on that as well. I know many foreigners had there passport held at the airport after coming from a visa run. Immigration questioned them about how long they have been there? Many people living there on a tourist visa don't have enough money or enough insurance coverage to stay permanent, and because of this some foreigners have become homeless or stranded there.
@Ronald Mcdonald I hope so, although Vietnam kicked out all who were on tourist visa two weeks ago, then said they will put a limit on visa runs. This was due to many English teachers working on tourist visa. They also arrested many running the agency's that hired them. I was planning on getting my retirement visa this year but it looks like next year now.
You cannot live in vietnam, unless you marry or invest 150000 usd in a business. You cannot extend a tourist visa beyond 90 days. I have a visa exemption. Here now in HCMC.
The rules now are not the same as before covid when I made this comment. Many expats were living there and teaching without the proper requirements so they kicked all of them out when covid came and arrested many people that gave them teaching jobs, then they made new rules.
@@FRANCISPOLLARD-r3p
It’s kinda like if a person wasn’t happy where they were living then it’s not likely they will be happy where ever they go. Happiness is a inside job not a outside job.
I think one of the main things is you have a girlfriend you're coming out to see or if you plan on retiring is go out there for a couple of months and see how you like it
Hi pretty lady Meljean, this topic is really great. Foreigners can learn a lot about the Philippines. The foreigners who wants to live with their loved ones in the said country. In this topic is still foreigners choices whether they have to stay or leave. Thanks for this great vlog.
I have been happily married to a Filipina for over thirty years, I think your country is beautiful, but to live there at my age with your health care system would be financial suicide. I have been twice for a month at a time and thoroughly enjoyed it but not to retire there.
I have a lot of respect for any immigrant that moves to a new country on their own. It takes the right balance of adventurous spirit and patience. Everything I've done when I visited Cebu has been under the guidance and care of my girlfriend. And I realize she has made so many things easier for me. So in that regard I am quite spoiled as a "foreigner" when I am there. But you know it's a good thing because it gave her a chance to help me, and gave me a chance to accept her help. And that's the foundation of a good relationship: helping each other. Personally I love my extended Filipino family, and friends of the family. And I've learned a lot from them. In my life I have been encouraged often to go to the Philippines by Filipino friends I met in the Navy. But I waited. And I suppose the reason I waited was because I knew I wanted it to be very special. It is just a feeling I have 😊❤️
The issue for me is not being expected to pay some things, it is the automatic assumption that a foreigner is rich so they have the ability to pay for these things.
I made it very clear I wasn't going to be a walking ATM
Meljean,
I certainly think about living in a paradise like The Philippines. Sometimes we have unrealistic images in our heads about how wonderful life could be somewhere else. I would probably need to spend a month or two first before making such a huge lifestyle change. You just don't know what you don't know.
I do like your videos and appreciate the information. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this video. It has been very informative.
I know some foreigners married there and the number 1 complaint was constant begging for money from the relatives. To the point where it destroyed the family relationship. If you are just a walking wallet that is not a warm welcome, is it? You quickly learn to say no, or go broke? haha
I have already change my mind about relocating there because of the hustle and very slow services...thanks for being so honest,we don't get that here in USA
This had to be one of the best videos you ever put out and I've already been to the Philippines with that says I run into all the bad ones apparently I'm not looking in the right place thank you for the video and I will be back soon
I think the Philippines in theory (dreaming of living there on the white sand beach) is a pipe dream. In reality, living there long term, it’s a culture shock and everything is about pera (family or not) which can be viewed as you are an atm machine instead of a respected human being. Add the pandemic and now everyone asks for help, that’s my experience! Whether others agree or not!
Beaches are windy and dirty. Asking does not mean that you have to give. A lot is about money, but YOU have it so you can move on. You will never be a brother in the same sense as your wife is, get over it. Your life is building your life and everybody expects that, including your new family. When terrible things happen, your wife lives terrible news, i strongly suggest you give as the other family does.
Also do not recommend any dating sites, too many women think foreigners are rich so the dating sites has become the favorite ATM for most of Filipino women even so called innocent province girls
I have visited The Phillipines eight times pre covid and stayed from two weeks to a month with my wife and seen many of the sights. As truely beautiful as the beaches are i would never never never never live in the Phillipines . I mean i would NEVER live in The Phillipines under any circumstances whatsoever .The list would be over 100 reasons long and get longer as every week goes by . Simply The country has been made by Filipinos , for Filipinos by Filipino political families voted into to power by Filipino voters and governed by elected Filipinos since Independance in 1946 . If you don' t accept all that , do not even consider for a single minute living in The Philipines. Its that easy .
Politics is irrelevant to foreigners I know. Just ignore those politicians, they ignore you.
Justice systems are deliberately inept, you as a foreigner are too slippery to be bothered by it. True, nobody in the justice system is on your side, but all enforcement is based on Filipinos being stuck in community, and community is something you can live without completely.
Just budget $500 per month for the family and you'll be good. It could be given monthly or weekly or on a need basis like tuition or medical but in all, it's $6K a year. It's not small money but you are helping a lot directly instead of giving to charities where they could just pocket the money.
Hello. I'm from South Korean but I have been living in Switzerland now. Thank you for your video of Philippine. I'm interesting of there.
My husband and I are coming back to the Philippines in November 2022 after he retires. Beautiful young lady, thank you.
Online relationship is a start but must meet face to face. I want to come over for month first without spending anytime in quarantine. So we wait patiently to maybe 2022 before meeting. I'm 68 she is 47 and know what is to be expected with family outings.
I left because my wife wanted to live in the UK and I learned very quickly how dangerous it is to argue with a Filipina
Cut their Rice Cooker power and she will cooperate to have it back. Once they stop cooking by wood they never want to give up the electric rice cooker. UK great but live where you want.
Did you leave her, or did you leave with her?
Married to a foreigner for 8 years now and makalipay Lang my family is not depending on me neither to my husband. Salmaat sa Ginoo my husband was the one insisting to send some penny During holidays. Amping day.
Hi Meljean, yes that's correct the administrative and banking things can be a pain in the ass, you sometimes need a mountain of patience, but in the end it will work out. These situations occur in both the Philipines and Thailand. In Thailand you can hire someone to renew your Visa every time, then you don't have to stand in line for half a day. greetings. 😀🙏
In matters of money... The easiest way I have found is to be loud and frequent about where the boundaries are. My rules are if you are not paying for yourself then you do not participate or go. Moms Dads Siblings and extended inlaws and outlaws. Then, if I decide to do something, its on my terms. I do not care who is crying, who is whining or who is dying. Too bad. So sad. Have a nice trip. Say hello to St Pete. Its the golden rule. He who has the gold makes the rules :) GUYS! Stop putting up with BS. It will end when you call their bluff. Eenie Meenie Chilli Beanie... (running your hands over the crystal ball) The spirits are about to speak (fart) I see your future! ALONE!! LOL
Massively incorrect. If your brother was sick and could not pay would YOU let him die? If you would, it says far more about you than the Philippines. Your wife has 100% access to your money. She just lets you think it is yours so you do not walk. If you think she does not, what is marriage about anyway? Love? Compassion? How do you decide how much your wife is worth paying for anyway? You have forced your wife to choose between you and her family, so far she selects you. Schit happens.
I moved away from our family in the Philip[pines, it made life simpler. They still ask my wife for my money, and it makes me angry. But it does define what they think of me, honesty is the best policy even if it is bad news. I trust my wife completely, there is simply no other way.
My wife sends her own hard earned money to the Philippines.
The reason I left.
Same fruits and vegetables. Same foods. Its hot. Rats. Roaches. Mosquitos.
The food will kill you if you are a westerner.
Can’t buy anything of quality. The country has terrible consumer
goods. Sofas. Beds. Any home goods really. Everything is crap and cheap. Horrible beyond belief health care. The Filipinos are the kindest nicest people in the world. I have traveled all over the world. You will never be treated as nice as Filipinos treat you anywhere in the world. Most foreigners girlfriend is married already or can’t afford to move home. Its an extremely hard life in the Philippines. Filipina is the best wife. My wife always says not all. If your a foreigner moving to Philippines. She must have a college education. NBI Clearance and a J-O-B. Never married. No divorce there. Educated women speak perfect English. Just like this woman. Otherwise you’ll probably get scammed.Good Luck.
Thanks for the video, Meljean. The fact that the Philippines is a poor developing country is the reason that 80% of guys who have always had a problem attracting girls now find it easy...embrace it and its pitfalls.
No money no honey
Hello Meljean,good afternoon. It's the first time watching your videos. It was very good. I hope you had an amazing weekend and God bless you 🙏
Hey Meljean, I've been happily married for 36-yrs. and here too one marries the family along with the spouse. The only difference I can see is that the Filipina family wants monthly assistance from the foreigner for as long as their married and probably help with the house as well. I personally wouldn't mind doing that if it's reasonable, besides . . . it gives me something to do and lifelong friendships are valuable, at least to me. I remember your earliest videos showcasing your simple province house, still have the house?
When I married my I didn't have to pay for my wife's family, she got a job here in the States and with her own money sent it to her own family. Foreigners don't have to pay for their wife's family!!
Same here. However that’s predicated on marrying a Filipina who has her act together. I married a Filipina with a college education from a middle class provincial family. So it’s not like her family needs our help.
But she did learn quickly about if she wanted nice things and to send money home she’d better get a job that pays decent money.
She has! She’s the pride of the Philippines in my eyes.
Having said that. I have seen guys who had not put a lot of thought into if the Filipina they were courting could adapt to life where they live in the US. Most can easily if their English is competent. Those who don’t will really struggle hard at first.
Then there are some Filipinas that shouldn’t go to the US as it would change them in ways that maybe wouldn’t be good. Maybe they would be happier living as a simple provincial girl.
A. Paredes...u think YOU didn't pay?! Think again.
@@samsilverman824 Well there is a certain truth behind what the British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli said when asked on his views about sex. “The moment is fleeting, the position embarrassing and the price damnable”.
Having said that my misses and I have helped her family financially, mostly her parents, but we have done so responsibly and within our budget and it has little impact on our standard of living. Your point does, however, remain. There is always a price to be paid.
@@Mottleydude1 I hear ya. I know about B.D.. U made me think of woody allen's bromide that is "IF U AIN'T DOIN' IT DIRTY....U AIN'T DOIN' IT RIGHT!" There's NO position that would embarrass ME. No time for THAT kind of silly GUILT! Let the mission go on un-impeded. Paredes doesn't get the fact that her money is HIS & his $ is HERS coz they r MARRIED/COUPLED. It's a UNION. They r ONE. When she gives it's as if HE gave is it not? He's delusional. If u r paying your girl of the day in CASH...it's a good deal. To hell w/the movies...dining...& shopping. I can do THAT better alone. I insist on paying coz i don't want any favors asked of me later. "IT COSS(COSTS)TO BE THE BOSS!"
If you marry a filipina from a poverty stricken family and are void of any empathy, I guess you married the wrong filipina
I have been to the Philippines 3 times and the only reason I left was my holiday time was over. So I will be retired so holiday time will be hopefully for a long time. I will suffer out the time it takes to extend my visitors visa. Last I checked you can extend your visa for up to 2 years then apply for a different visa. Yes it is very important to spend time with someone in person to see how things go when you are together all the time. My experiences and not just in the Philippines but anyway some people are totally different online then they are in person. I chat to some there but will not make a commitment to anyone till spending time in person. Foreigners have lots of money is not always true. Yes some have lots of money but myself I will have enough to live a simple comfortable life. Here in Canada it is very expensive to live so makes it hard to save. As for bad things well that can happen anywhere in this big world. I had my wallet stolen and people said to me why would you go back when the happened and I said that could happen here in Canada at anytime. Just need to be aware of your surroundings. For the most part I have felt very comfortable in the Philippines even in the city after dark going to the 7-11. You make lots of good points here and I hope you have not scared Tom away from coming back to the Philippines hahaha. I will be retired next time I go there so waiting to get things done will not be that big of a problem.
woW ... amazing grace . informative . Thank You
I was talking with someone about this last night and said that some people aren't flexible in their thinking so if something doesn't fit their preconceptions they can't adjust. I think that these are the people who sit around and complain expecting the Philippines to change for them
I have met a LOT of guys who do a whole lot of complaining. But not a one felt that they could change the Philippines.
Complaining is about shared hardships, not proactive government.
Your Command of English is excellent!
I only disliked 1 thing about the Philippines and that was having to leave my beautiful girlfriend and the beautiful Philippines,🙏🙏🙏🙏✈️🇵🇭
Great vlog my friend you are right about those reasons why foreigners leave the philippines iv.e been travelling back and forth to the philippines for more then fifteen years I have decided that I will relocate there when Manila reopens it.s gets really Lonely without my new fiancee I truly love this video you are well spoken and very professional in your way of explaining the reasons why foreigners leave the philippines you look really great in that outfit very Gwapa have an awesome Adlaw Sa Dios Love Lots
I believe that something that is very important to live in the Philippines is know foreigners really don't have any rights.
1. Be careful about what you say as you not be accepted and the Pilipino will become very angry with you and not talk to you for a week or maybe several weeks or more.
2. You can't own anything here and you need your Pilipino partner or wife to own everything.
3. Don't try have a opion about politics or how the government works.
4. You might need to marry a Pilipino in order to get a permanent residence and their is no divorce so the annulment takes years.
I married a widow that still loves her husband very much and so it is something I learned after being married. And now I find out she worships her deceased husband and I recieve no love in our relationship.
I think the Philippines is a nice place to visit, but think about it carefully as that is why I want share my experiences.
Practical reasons for foreigners staying in the Philippines, good video and yes, these are real practicalities you need to consider.
Thank you for your sincere honesty .
Once thought about it, but between family politics, work politics, expectation to pay for everything etc., it feels like you become a human ATM card. Hence, it is annoying and you never get comfortable. I wouldn't want to stay.
No problem with helping family members, but it needs to go both ways…. Don’t want a relationship with a selfish person
if you are sincere and honest to your foreigner partner walang dapat ikatakot...be honest, there is trust and respect i dont see any problem at all...they will stay with u forever
Thanks for the information!
Thank you for this information. I always wanted to know if marrying the family only applies to foreigners or also the Filipino that marries the Filipina as well.
Both ways. Mostly Asian countries have similar when it come to this
It only applies to foreigners.Most Filipinos think that money grow on trees outside of d Philippines.Not a commendable trait.SAD.
LET'S GET A ANSWER
Yap! That's only if your foreigners and look for partner in Bar and Club you'll get Gold Digger.. That's apply in all country.. Never seen any foreigner in non- profits organization and Active church volunteers, here where women and girls not like that..
The Philippines is not for everybody. Go where you're treated best.
I don't know that I'd want to live in the Philippines right now with all of the panic over the bug. Also not being able to own property is problematic when planning to live somewhere long term. It's hard to have a long-term budget when things like rent an HOA fees can go up at anytime. Where as if you could buy a piece of land and build a home on it you can have more fixed expenses. Buying property for someone else even if it is a spouse is just that. You're buying them a house that they may allow you to live in provided you pay all of the bills. As for supporting the family, give a Filipino family $1,200 a month and they'll love you forever. Your American girlfriend will spend that much a month just on Starbucks and still cheat on you, dump you then go around telling everyone you're a loser. Plus you can set boundaries. I think it's best to buy them a small business. Instead of giving them monthly support just buy them something that gives them a source of income that they can work to grow. Even a little sari sari store that they can run to make money for themselves or a little piece of land that they can farm on. That way they make their own money and aren't dependent upon you.
This was helpful, thanks.