I heard a theory recently that Carrie was actually just Big's side piece. That's why their picture was basically hidden. Natasha was his main girl. She is his wife type. And their picture will be hanging out in the open. That theory puts everything into perspective for me. It all makes sense through that lense.
@@BeckyEllis-vd8onshe came off more fearful avoidant to me. Only because she wasn’t really anxious with Aiden, she actually treated him like big treated her..FAs are dismissive with anxious people and anxious with dismissive people.
"You said you loved me 😢" Yea, after she twisted his arm into saying it 😂I don't know why a lot of SATC fans say that Big was honest with Carrie. He wasn't. He lied by omission about VERY major things & was deceptively vague about his intentions to string her along ("breadcrumbing"). But sometimes you've got to take a hint. She saw the red flags and kept chasing him, always desperate for this man's validation. Pick me - Chose me - Love me.
It’s addictive this type of relationship, I bet she’s anxious attachment style, I think it’s so easy for us to say just dump him, but she craves his validation like a drug. It’s a shame he only chased her when she pulled away.
If Carrie wasnt so desperate, she would realize Big never wanted her. He had her when it was convenient. How do you even respect Carrie when youre Big?
He could also be honest with her and cut her off at the beginning. Typical narcissist not wanting her but wanting to have her under control. I'm honestly not surprised she felt for it. I'm only sad that this story didn't have a positive ending. Writers decided she will be obsessed with him until the end, until his death. I needed her to finally wake up and choose wisely but on the other hand watching this sad thing made me motivated to never repeat her mistake in my own life.
When youre a kind and decent human being, you dont accept to hurt a person through their flaws. You dont look at a persons desperation as a reason to hurt them. People like you make the world an evil place to live in.
This channel just randomly popped up in my recommendations and I swear she has one of the best commentary and analysis on satc I've heard. I too want to hear her analysis on the Natasha era because I thought that would be the breaking point for Carrie (like come on, enough is enough, right?). But of course not 🙄.
"Attention is not intention" My favorite line of Matthew Hussey a love life Coach... Back in the day I thought as a teenager this is how romantic relationships should be... today as an adult is the opposite. She does everything wrong what she could do. In the end they are both immature and deserved each other.
I think you're 100% correct. Big didn't want to say I love you bc that invites expectations and commitment. There's no picking up and leaving without saying something. Big always wanted a woman that loves him more and commits to the relationship more than him.
9:41 My mom gave me some advice that I always consider when in a social setting. ‘Act like you’re on The Real World’ And what she meant was that in social settings, especially parties/networking/formals, to act as if someone is always watching you.
I’m sorry I gotta call bs that purse is 100% something that Carrie would get 🤣 reminds me of Lily’s bedazzled cupcake bag 🧁 in the movie and also Carrie had a bird on her hair for her WEDDING she’s definitely got an eccentric style 😂
and the eiffel tower shaped bag she carried Big's ashes in (which was so not HIS style!) I have always thought the same thing! That bag was definitely something she would have worn!
I think she wore more unique clothing and was bothered that every girl was carrying the same type of purse. It’s not that the purse is bad, but the message underlying is problematic.
48:07 "If they don't really want to talk about it, that is also the answer. It doesn't mean when the answer is not direct, that it means there is no answer at all. Not having clarity is also an answer." THIS, if I had listened to this earlier, I would have saved myself all the horrible experiences of dating through all my twenties.
Nobody is addicted to pain. We believe we don't deserve better, that this is as good as it'll ever get, we ask for the bare minimum and get told we're asking for too much, and we have low self esteem so we believe it. We've never known what true love is so we're unable to recognize counterfeit "love" and just keep hoping it's real and twist ourselves into knots to keep holding onto something that keeps hurting us because it's what we think love is.
8:03 Exactly. Instead of having the ‘street smart’ of reading the room, Carrie went into a ‘pick me’ mindset and self sabotaged. Like it could’ve been interpreted as a step forward about the whole purse thing. A guy giving you a gift based off what he sees other women in his social circle wearing/using can be a sign that he’s incorporating you into those circles. Especially since this was one of the few times he’s brought her to see his friends. For Big, this was a huge step. And Carrie hyper focused on being ‘not like the other girls’ that she came off as crass, thoughtless, inconsiderate and overall rude.
Right? Like to me that just made it make sense. He didn’t know what to get her but knew women in his circle liked it so he thought it was a good gift. He doesn’t know her but like.., that’s pretty obvious and I don’t know why she was surprised, especially if when it happens she doesnt tell him how she’s feeling.
@@chelscara exactly, she should have told him that she didn't like the gift and that she felt like he didn't know her. Maybe then it would open a more clear conversation where he reassures her about his commitement or (most likely) evades the situation once a again. But if it's the latter, then she would have had more reasons to dump him. Still it seems like she always thinks her wishes or needs aren't valid or that they are stupid :(. It's sad tbh.
This is a great observation. Carrie is a walking contradiction. One of the many reasons I’m sure, why she would date big was because he was part of the social elite and that was part of the allure. By dating him she would get access to that upper class, he was her golden ticket to climb socially. So she wanted to belong there, but at the same time, looked down on them. Wanted to be them, but not one of them?? 🥴 And especially that she had Charlotte as her friend, who was the upper class herself. Charlotte often spoke about her experience and the rules that apply that you need to follow. Charlotte knew how to play the part, eg. in front of her mother-in-law Bunny. But Carrie wanted to get in to that social elite whilst at the same time act as a rebel child? This is somewhat tactless of her, and inconsiderate of all she knows by exposure (by being Charlotte’s friend). Big did what every men would do, look around in his own circle to see what women like when choosing a gift. In London, most upper class people do like the same things and same brands. And it served a good purpose, make her look like she belongs to the social setting she will be introduced to, it’s almost like a token, so people would be more likely to take her as one of their own kind. She’s such a drama Queen and a victim…and the fact she did wear a feather to her wedding, making that correlation is priceless 🎉🎉😂
“I want you to commit to me, and do so with more than just empty words!” “Okay, I’ve bought you the Hot New Item that I see all the ladies around me wearing, and I’d like you to meet my friends!” “They’re awful, I can’t smoke and this gift is gross!” Carrie, come on
Just leaving a comment on the duck purse. I would say that was actually a nice move on his part. He knows she likes fashion and paid attention enough to know that the women in his class currently all have novelty purses and he went out of his way to get her a nice one. Goodness these two are toxic. I think if Carrie was actually secure about herself there would be no games between these two.
Agreed, she acts like it’s this existential crisis and meanwhile he was probably just like “oh a purse. Duck shaped, that’s avant-garde? She’ll love it.” It reminds me of that meme with the couple in bed where the wife thinks he’s thinking of another woman and he’s thinking about Pokémon Go or the Roman Empire or literally anything else.
Perfect! I just finished watching the whole series for the first time in my 30s (I first watched SATC in high school...boy does it hit differently now!)
Miss Sassy is back 💅 love your commentary so much 😂 Also why do i feel like that bag would be 100% Carrie's style?? So weird she didnt like it considering how crazy she dresses all the time! Her wedding dress/outfit had a bird on her head 😂 this was strange writing 😂
This is a great observation. Carrie is a walking contradiction. One of the many reasons I’m sure, why she would date big was because he was part of the social elite and that was part of the allure. By dating him she would get access to that upper class, he was her golden ticket to climb socially. So she wanted to belong there, but at the same time, looked down on them. Wanted to be them, but not one of them?? 🥴 And especially that she had Charlotte as her friend, who was the upper class herself. Charlotte often spoke about her experience and the rules that apply that you need to follow. Charlotte knew how to play the part, eg. in front of her mother-in-law Bunny. But Carrie wanted to get in to that social elite whilst at the same time act as a rebel child? This is somewhat tactless of her, and inconsiderate of all she knows by exposure (by being Charlotte’s friend). Big did what every men would do, look around in his own circle to see what women like when choosing a gift. In London, most upper class people do like the same things and same brands. And it served a good purpose, make her look like she belongs to the social setting she will be introduced to, it’s almost like a token, so people would be more likely to take her as one of their own kind. She’s such a drama Queen and a victim…and the fact she did wear a feather to her wedding, making that correlation is priceless 🎉🎉😂
I always thought that Big said "not get carried away" was a little pun by the writers on her name .. getting carried away in Bigs eyes is the annoying behavior Carry puts on.
21:02 my man is so straight forward, if I didn’t tell him I was leaving stuff on purpose he would think it was an accident and bring them back to be helpful 😂
I hope that's really the case for you. What I've experienced with "straight-forward" men is the use it as an excuse to act dumb. When it benefits them, oh then they can magically read between the lines lol
The duck purse may not have been Carrie's taste, but I'm thinking do most men even have much taste when it comes to women's fashion? And I thought the fact that he was trying to get her something that would fit in among his 'people' wasn't the worst type of gesture? 🤷♀
It's almost like either the writers were trying to sabotage Carrie by making her do some dick moves too in that specific episode, or Carrie subconsciously noted that the gift and the invitation to the party both were loving gestures from John and decided to revel in having the upper hand for once. Or she knows these people will never really accept her, so she pre-rejects them in self defense.
Hot take, I remember observing some disordered eating habits on this show when i watched tidbits of it as a kid. Having suffered (and recovered, woo!) from ED myself i wondered if some of Carrie's meltdowns were exacerbated by ignoring her bodies needs and smoking instead.
I don’t even think Carrie actually really loved Big, at least at this point in the show. I think he was just a means to access her drug of choice …validation. If she were really in love with Big she could not have taken another man home that easily. She wasn’t getting enough of her validation drug from Big, so she got it from the other guy. I think on some level Big realized this, and also used her to meet his own validation drug needs, but it’s exactly why he kept her at arm’s length and was non-committal about anything long term with Carrie. He couldn’t even bring her to a party with his type of people without her throwing a hissy fit and behaving badly and resentfully. How could he incorporate a person like her into his life when he couldn’t even bring her to a fancy party?
58:17 "Don't move across the country and have expectiations" Damn, towards the end this felt PERSONAL! LMFAO. i was just about to type a comment and then you say that_???!!!!! Ah, my 29 year old self is LOL'ing. I learned this lesson just recently.....im 37 and moved across the country for a boy I met in vegas and we had been in a 5 year LONG distance relationship, broke up and kept talkling, then we started talking again...(without being in a relationship) and said if i wanted to go for three months to see him, i of course said YES!!!!! LOL. (A lot of red flags, but I was in a completely different place mentally and spiritually where I didn't want to see things how they truly were). I knew things were not going to work because I noticed we were just too different, besides culturally and not speaking the same language (he spoke fluent English but we still were two very different people) I "fell" for him because of how he looked physically, I had only dated Mexican men and he was the first caucasian man that i've ever dated or that showed interest in me. (YUP- the codependency and need for external validation) That relationship ended right away but I had stayed with him because I was in a foreign country and was about to begin a new job, it was horrible being with a person who you onced thought you loved. :/ I am happy to say that I am still living in Germany BUT alone, or in a living community (common here in Germany). :D AND, I began taking Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 09/2021 and stopped drinking alcohol 12.10.2021. Healing isnt linear! Someone told me that and i had laughed when i heard it...slowly it began making sense and channels like yours are a good reminder of what to be aware of. This video really brought up alot of thoughts. Thank you!
Oh my god i just realised, he gave a gift that was unwanted and showed that he didn't understand her. And her saying 'i love you' was giving big a gift that he didn't want, and that showed she didn't understand him!
What's interesting about this section particularly of your analysis, is generally I'm very "Carrie needs to grow up", but as you broke things down, the more I realized in this season how much Carrie acts like a victim of narcissistic abuse. If we take all her behavior in a singular instance, your analysis is so on point, but if we think about these being snippets of what is months and months of conditioning, I realized how much in this season she's a victim. Particularly if there was love bombing we never saw from Big in the beginning. That would change everything!
I disagree, if anyone is the narcissist, it's Carrie. Let's not forget he never cheated on her, while she cheated on him TWICE, including after they were married.
@e.a.4926 I get you, but my argument is basically that this is from Carrie's point of view and is only snippets of moments in the relationship. We dont KNOW that Big cheated on her, but multiple timelines and behaviors make it seem pretty likely making me think it's more than possible Big's inconsistency was just snippets of the moments that set Carrie off. Plus he cheated constantly, just because we don't KNOW he did it with her, I think he fully fits the bill. Carrie has her own issues sure, but I think there's a lot of what she does that's reactionary. It often looks overly reactionary, but if we're only seeing the climax of an issue they've been having for months, then idk. Aka the way she acts the first time she sees him out with another woman at a restaurant seems crazy if they're casually dating, but totally normal if he's given her the impression he doesn't casually date or like he's interested in something serious with her, which was his bread and butter to be unclear and inconsistent when answering those kinds of questions. She strikes me as insecure, immature, and pretty shallow, but not narcissistic most of the time. Really only the thing with Aiden would make me think otherwise and that's a whole other season where I do think the whole vibe kind of changes.
Waa, nice idea!! Let me think about how, but maybe community posts could be easy.. so then i do a video answering questions..🤓 Thank you for the suggestion🤗
9:34 Thank you for trying to envision how we would feel if Big was doing something crazy that Carrie did! So many times I feel like we give Carrie a pass for stuff that we would absolutely hate on Big for doing! She had the nerve to behave that way at one of Big’s functions and embarrass him …and we wonder why he didn’t see her as long term relationship material? I don’t blame him.
I think he casting and acting and overall writing is so good on this show. I love your analysis. It’s interesting and very good insight to the character’s psychology
27:30 I partially agree, and partially don't. I think Carrie herself was actually rather uninterested in living with a partner, we saw this with Aiden, she actually wanted her own space. But she chased cohabitation with Big because it was denied her, so it was ego driven instead of heart driven.
About who says the 'I love you' first, I literally think life is too short to hold back with telling people. This thinking comes with the fact that I tell my friends amd family on a regular basis that I love them. People don't hear it often enough and most people don't feel loved enough.
@@narzz5637this kinda mindset is exactly why so many people are not loved enough. don't be pushy, sure, but say stuff when you feel that you need to and when it's reasonable. no need to follow these stupid rules
@@u_u2406 yes! I wholeheartedly agree with this. I can see that many are scared to be vulnerable, given that many carry scars of a past. That is in itself very valid, but it is not the burden of another to work through. If the reason is though that you are scared of the other person immediately losing interest, or that you somehow lose value by saying it, then I think you have instinctively learned that this person is not mature enough to treat your emotions with respect. Never in my life, did I have to play "hard to get". For the wrong type of guy, I am not to get at all, but for the right type of guy, I am really easy to get. That is not a flaw,
Can we all be a little nicer to Carrie? I think a lot of us have been in her situation at some point in our lives. She's not purposely trying to hurt anyone with her actions, she's just hurting herself. I don't think it's "pathetic", I think it's relatable and kinda heartbreaking tbh
I see myself so much in Carrie, it’s embarrassing to be like this 😅 but you get addicted to the other person & they breadcrumb and string you along. The only winner is the other person who’s holding all the cards
I agree, I see this as a big lesson in empathy for oneself and expressing kindness to oneself. Many of us can look at Carrie and feel a too intimate and revealing type of pain that we have not fully healed from, we want to slap her hands away from the man that burns her, like we wish we could have done it to our former selves. Most of the time when I watch Carrie, despite her flaws, I think she deserves love too, in fact, she seemingly craves it so much that she is really acting like someone who has deprived her of water for days and then someone dangles a glass of water in front of her, only to let her have 1 sip and then berates her for yanking the glass out of their hand to just drink. I just want to give her a hug...
I feel like a lot of people relate to Carrie but are unhappy seeing their faults like that. There's a reason so many popular works of fiction have more self-indulgent role model protagonists - it's more comfortable to watch someone who is aspirational than someone who is a big mess. I also feel like it's a bit of a gendered double standard and agree with people who say Carrie is a female antihero. The fact that we can do these in-depth analyses of her faults is a good thing about her! She's a fictional character with depth. It's rare to talk about flawed male leads with the level of vitriol and personal scorn that Carrie attracts.
This content is incredible! Please keep creating, you are like a wiser sister to me now. I suddenly see so many parallels in the behavior of Big and my ex which I could not see while I was in that relationship, it is crazy! And yes, would be amazing if you made videos with stories of your subscribers
On the topic of "Carrie can't seem to say that she wants something without also making it about what Big wants", I got the sense that the intent of the writers was to show that Carrie wanted Big to want something. She WANTED him to want to leave stuff at her place, she WANTED him to want to integrate himself into her life. In that scene, she was basically begging him to want something from her. The problem was that she felt like he never wanted anything, which to her was indicative that he didn't care
He bought her a Judith Lieber bag. Check out Bronwyn from RHOLSC for context. He is reading her as an avant garde high society person, she just doesn't have the context. It's a broken communication system problem. Like giving someone a several thousand dollar purse, for him, is a type of love language. He wouldn't have given that purse to a beige Natasha. She lacks the perspective to see how he is translating in his framework. I don't like defending Big, but Carrie is pathological.
i think Carrie is very much a codependent. and she thinks by doing these things, it will make Big wants her the way she wants him. but she didn't take into consideration the kind of relationship he wants, or most importantly, the kind of role he has for her. she thinks that by keep pushing or by keep giving in to him, she'll get him. and she sees Big as not being ready to commit and lalala which allows her to justify staying with him. but what she doesn't see is the flaws in herself. why would she want to be with someone who doesn't include her in his decisions? why does she want to be with someone who has so little regard for her? and what's annoying is that, she never wrote her relationship with Big, through a more mature perception. she's always trying to make it sound good and look cool, but she never really dig deep.
I genuinely don't believe everyone who says he doesn't like her, he likes her a lot and even might love her, but he's got issues from past relationships and he has an idea of the type of woman he should end up with. These things plus her being so pushy initially made him feel weird about his feelings and their relationship. But no way does he just see her as a booty call, he could get other women for that (and let's be honest she's not easy to deal with lol), he finds her fascinating, cute, funny, and loves being with her. They just both are bad at relationships and toxic lol.
@@alliepenaherrera1976if you see things that way , you’re going to get play easily. Big was using Carrie because she’s convenient. She doesn’t expect too much. If he was really into her , he wouldn’t have waited that long and marrying Natasha. Like girlies , wake up !!!
@@alliepenaherrera1976 lmaooo marriage doesn’t mean you have standards lol some women marry their worst enemy🤭 Your perspective can be detrimental for women not as lucky as you! I wish you the best with your hubby :)
This was genuinely a fantastic video! I love video essays on tv shows and I love hearing perspectives on human connection/behaviour. This is the most interesting way to combine the two! An hour flew by like that!
I love your analyses of this so much. Maybe this isn't your purpose but the way you break down Carrie's actions and their unconscious motivations almost has some therapy payoff for me because it makes me realize when my own behavior has been similar, even though i don't date so it's been in other circumstances. I loved your point that Carrie loses her temper over something she does have the right to be angry about and then capitulates in the other direction, deciding that because she went too far, all of it was going too far. Ouch oof i've definitely done that! It's so helpful to hear someone articulate it.
my current boyfriend did #2 when we were on the hotel after knowing each other for 2 days lmao he told me “get out of the bathroom, it’s an emergency!” and then i hear that he started playing loud music so i couldn’t hear anything hahah
HOT TAKE: Big's ego entirely thrives on making his partners feel insecure and needy. He likes it that way, but will always pin the blame for the dynamic on his partner.
The judith leiber bag wasnt the best but it was fun omg, esoecially because everyone at the party was wearing it!! Oh and the hostess only wearing white wine was cool, like she has a theme, she put effort and thiyght into it!!! Carrie is cool, but like we have to have fun and be positive in our heads instead of criticising people, thats just misery... We can do better!!! 💖
“If they want to they will.” My husband told me he loved me first. Later I asked him to marry me. Two years into our married he came out as she. Later I asked her to marry me again. If they really like you they WILL make it work.
43:00 oof. "Because you had even less opportunities to talk about commitement" that was exactly the problem with them. It was "better" because she had to shut up more to the point of exploding, not because he liked her 💀.
To be honest, I'm with Mr Big on finding it annoying that Carrie called him in the early hours of the morning to drunkenly berate him. I mean, I'd never act like Big in the first place, so I'd never be in his situation. He is undoubtedly an asshole for not considering his partner in his life plans. But Carrie calling him in this way is also horrible. He needs to work, he needs to sleep, and she isn't even honest with him about her feelings in that moment. So it's just a call to act out her inferiority complex and anger and to punish him. Not exactly what I'd call relationship material.
Yeah but he is the one who led that situation to happen, he had her on her last nerve by that point. I'm not saying that she is the perfect victim, but in that situation he has to take accountability of how damaging was that revelation to his partner and how she was losing it. Anyways, my take is that she should have dumped him a lot sooner to not reach that point.
@@danielapardo9776 I agree with you. I just wanted to point out that I myself - as in, not someone who'd behave as ego as Big - would be pretty annoyed by such a late night call 😅 It doesn't mean you're an unempathetic asshole if you want to sleep.
I mean yes Carrie was being immature and inconsiderate, but also it's a super common dynamic where one partner pokes until the other blows up and then the blame lands on the one who acts out, with no acknowledgement of what the more calm one is doing to contribute to the dynamic. I listen to Esther Perel's therapy podcast and she's very good at pointing out "You are correct that she blows up, but you are also adept at pushing her buttons, Sir."
@@stephysteph8558 I agree completely, it's happened to me often in the past and usually, the 'calm one' is a man. I just wanted to state that personally, I'd hate for someone to wake me up in the middle of the night to drunkely rant about what they're too immature to say right to my face when sober. This is one thing where I'm with Big on this.
May be a hot take but I don't believe Big ever loved Carrie. He only ends up with her because she's convenient to him. Once no one else will take him that's when he returns.
I actually think Big never wanted her to assume that they’d move together because he didn’t want to move in with her, that’s why he did not say a word about Paris till it was very late. It’s crazy that Carrie thought that was something he wanted taking into account how he managed that situation.
You: A purse in the shape of a duck? With diamonds? Me: Sell it. I also agree that Big wanted to end it with Carrie. I think he already had Natasha by the time of the Paris trip, so he was trying to push Carrie away and make her break up with him so he wasn't the "bad guy." I also agree with you that he potentially wanted that lingering feeling affection to stay with Carrie and him breaking up with her might shatter that. But if she breaks up with him, then she might come back later like before when its more ideal for him. But by the time she came back, Natasha was a more agreeable match. Only later he'll regret it as while Natasha is good wife material, the kind of woman he can take to boogey parties and she'll behave appropriately, looks good with him, etc, he is still obsessed with Carrie. And then the next season happens.
I enjoy your SATC videos but I have a totally different reading of this show. Mr Big clearly communicates his boundaries to Carrie and she ignores him and violates his boundaries. Mr Big communicates verbally while Carrie tries to rely on psychic communication instead of verbal communication. Carrie relies on her(mostly unrealistic) expectations of Mr Big instead of recognizing who Mr Big is. He expresses many times that he is divorced and has to do things on his own timeline. She doesn’t listen to him or respect him. I think Mr Big is way more understanding and patient than you give him credit for. 🙂 I also think she was unreasonable in the SATC movie wedding storyline 🙃🙃🙃
Wrong. It had nothing to do with who Mr. Big is. It had everything to do with Big just did not want Carrie. She was not “it” for him. Which is why he meets and marries Natasha a few months later. Big is capable of everything Carrie “expects”, he just doesn’t want that with her. It’s crucial to not try to analyze a man and give him character traits. Just analyze his behavior and actions when it comes to you.
I mean Carrie is super in denial, but it's like how people defend Summer from 500 Days of Summer. John knows how to give Carrie just enough good sex and superficial validation to keep her on the hook without ever giving her the commitment she wants. Just like how Summer refused to put labels on her relationship with Tom while still enjoying sex and dates with him, so she could dump him without guilt because they were never officially a couple. She knew Tom wanted more and gave him just enough intimacy to keep him thinking that someday she might fall in love with him for real, all while taking up his time and attention so he couldn't move on to the type of relationship he actually wanted. At least Summer and Tom are in their 20s; John is a middle aged man. He could be more like Samantha and sleep around with like-minded folk, but he keeps engaging with Carrie. At a certain point you gotta do better. If you care about a person, even if not romantically, it's shitty to take advantage of them. That's why still I hold John accountable even if Carrie is a hot mess. If I saw someone get googly eyes for me, I wouldn't keep having casual sex with them. I'd be like "Thank you, but Go Be Freeeee." (Although this is something of an empty brag because I'm the most like Charlotte. I unabashedly love being in a committed relationship. 😛)
@@toriyt2714thank you Tori for this comment, bc some comments are like 🥴, giving excuses to Big .. This man has shown her times and times again who he truly was. Carrie didn’t wanna accept that.
... Eh. I mean, not all couples need to live together. It doesn't mean you have a fear of commitment. Mr Big does, but the want of both partners living in their separate places, that on its own is valid imo. If a couple is dedicated to one another for 40 years, travel together, spend a lot of time together, are they not committed because they like to live in their own apartments?
I suppose not, but it's not the same level of commitment is it? Committed to what? I'm assume just not cheating? Not committing to paying bills together, building a home together, having children together etc it's a level of depending on each other that makes commitment important. not saying the relationship and level of commitment isn't valid if you don't do these things it's just not the same. One isn't better than the other.
I heard a theory recently that Carrie was actually just Big's side piece. That's why their picture was basically hidden.
Natasha was his main girl. She is his wife type. And their picture will be hanging out in the open.
That theory puts everything into perspective for me. It all makes sense through that lense.
Theory? That’s just common sense 😂
That makes sense seeing how he treated her and he gave Natasha money from his will 😂
It’s heartbreaking watching Carrie have to work and earn and fight for every single milestone in their relationship. It’s just so sad.
@@8._.EarthAngel._.8jeez, have some compassion. no person acts this way for no reason
I see myself so much in Carrie, she’s definitely anxious attachment style and drawn to avoidants 😅
@@BeckyEllis-vd8onshe came off more fearful avoidant to me. Only because she wasn’t really anxious with Aiden, she actually treated him like big treated her..FAs are dismissive with anxious people and anxious with dismissive people.
I agree, I don't know why she thinks that's normal and doesn't expect better
@@catierollins8493 ooh yes that’s true! I forgot how she acted with Aidan!
"You said you loved me 😢" Yea, after she twisted his arm into saying it 😂I don't know why a lot of SATC fans say that Big was honest with Carrie. He wasn't. He lied by omission about VERY major things & was deceptively vague about his intentions to string her along ("breadcrumbing"). But sometimes you've got to take a hint. She saw the red flags and kept chasing him, always desperate for this man's validation. Pick me - Chose me - Love me.
It’s addictive this type of relationship, I bet she’s anxious attachment style, I think it’s so easy for us to say just dump him, but she craves his validation like a drug. It’s a shame he only chased her when she pulled away.
@BeckyEllis-vd8on He didn't love her. He got his jollies when needed. But really, he loved f'ing WITH HER MIND.
If Carrie wasnt so desperate, she would realize Big never wanted her. He had her when it was convenient. How do you even respect Carrie when youre Big?
So true, it’s almost a friends with benefits thing for him.
He could also be honest with her and cut her off at the beginning. Typical narcissist not wanting her but wanting to have her under control. I'm honestly not surprised she felt for it. I'm only sad that this story didn't have a positive ending. Writers decided she will be obsessed with him until the end, until his death. I needed her to finally wake up and choose wisely but on the other hand watching this sad thing made me motivated to never repeat her mistake in my own life.
When youre a kind and decent human being, you dont accept to hurt a person through their flaws. You dont look at a persons desperation as a reason to hurt them. People like you make the world an evil place to live in.
@@Aimenah-zx7op🚨🧢
@@dariadari3370She forced herself into a relationship with a man that didn’t want her.
I can't wait for the next episode with the Big-Natasha analysis. :D
This channel just randomly popped up in my recommendations and I swear she has one of the best commentary and analysis on satc I've heard. I too want to hear her analysis on the Natasha era because I thought that would be the breaking point for Carrie (like come on, enough is enough, right?). But of course not 🙄.
that should be good. I've learned I'd rather be a Natasha than a Carrie lol
"Attention is not intention" My favorite line of Matthew Hussey a love life Coach... Back in the day I thought as a teenager this is how romantic relationships should be... today as an adult is the opposite. She does everything wrong what she could do. In the end they are both immature and deserved each other.
I think you're 100% correct. Big didn't want to say I love you bc that invites expectations and commitment. There's no picking up and leaving without saying something. Big always wanted a woman that loves him more and commits to the relationship more than him.
Not going #2 at their house or saying "I love you" after a year is wild to me. 😂
Oh trust me it can happen lol , I went two years without hearing I love you lmao
For me it genuinely took me that long to realise it was real love and not just infatuation
But that’s bc I’ve never loved a guy before so it was hard to decipher the feeling
9:41 My mom gave me some advice that I always consider when in a social setting. ‘Act like you’re on The Real World’
And what she meant was that in social settings, especially parties/networking/formals, to act as if someone is always watching you.
social anxiety 101
I’m sorry I gotta call bs that purse is 100% something that Carrie would get 🤣 reminds me of Lily’s bedazzled cupcake bag 🧁 in the movie and also Carrie had a bird on her hair for her WEDDING she’s definitely got an eccentric style 😂
Maybe he knew her better than she knew herself 😆😆😆
Thank you! I was so confused when she didn’t like it because it’s definitely something she would buy😂
and the eiffel tower shaped bag she carried Big's ashes in (which was so not HIS style!) I have always thought the same thing! That bag was definitely something she would have worn!
I think she wore more unique clothing and was bothered that every girl was carrying the same type of purse. It’s not that the purse is bad, but the message underlying is problematic.
@@verapaunovic8125 that doesn't make sense though because as soon as she opened it she said it was wrong and freaked
48:07 "If they don't really want to talk about it, that is also the answer. It doesn't mean when the answer is not direct, that it means there is no answer at all. Not having clarity is also an answer." THIS, if I had listened to this earlier, I would have saved myself all the horrible experiences of dating through all my twenties.
Love your satc videos, please keep making them 🥰
Thank you, will do🤓🤗🫶
Agree 100% ! 😊
I love her personality 😂 and her accent is so cute ❤
“He just doesn’t care” wow! It really is that simple ❤
Nobody is addicted to pain.
We believe we don't deserve better, that this is as good as it'll ever get, we ask for the bare minimum and get told we're asking for too much, and we have low self esteem so we believe it. We've never known what true love is so we're unable to recognize counterfeit "love" and just keep hoping it's real and twist ourselves into knots to keep holding onto something that keeps hurting us because it's what we think love is.
8:03 Exactly. Instead of having the ‘street smart’ of reading the room, Carrie went into a ‘pick me’ mindset and self sabotaged.
Like it could’ve been interpreted as a step forward about the whole purse thing. A guy giving you a gift based off what he sees other women in his social circle wearing/using can be a sign that he’s incorporating you into those circles. Especially since this was one of the few times he’s brought her to see his friends. For Big, this was a huge step.
And Carrie hyper focused on being ‘not like the other girls’ that she came off as crass, thoughtless, inconsiderate and overall rude.
Right? Like to me that just made it make sense. He didn’t know what to get her but knew women in his circle liked it so he thought it was a good gift. He doesn’t know her but like.., that’s pretty obvious and I don’t know why she was surprised, especially if when it happens she doesnt tell him how she’s feeling.
@@chelscara exactly, she should have told him that she didn't like the gift and that she felt like he didn't know her. Maybe then it would open a more clear conversation where he reassures her about his commitement or (most likely) evades the situation once a again. But if it's the latter, then she would have had more reasons to dump him. Still it seems like she always thinks her wishes or needs aren't valid or that they are stupid :(. It's sad tbh.
This is a great observation. Carrie is a walking contradiction. One of the many reasons I’m sure, why she would date big was because he was part of the social elite and that was part of the allure. By dating him she would get access to that upper class, he was her golden ticket to climb socially. So she wanted to belong there, but at the same time, looked down on them. Wanted to be them, but not one of them?? 🥴 And especially that she had Charlotte as her friend, who was the upper class herself. Charlotte often spoke about her experience and the rules that apply that you need to follow. Charlotte knew how to play the part, eg. in front of her mother-in-law Bunny. But Carrie wanted to get in to that social elite whilst at the same time act as a rebel child? This is somewhat tactless of her, and inconsiderate of all she knows by exposure (by being Charlotte’s friend). Big did what every men would do, look around in his own circle to see what women like when choosing a gift. In London, most upper class people do like the same things and same brands. And it served a good purpose, make her look like she belongs to the social setting she will be introduced to, it’s almost like a token, so people would be more likely to take her as one of their own kind. She’s such a drama Queen and a victim…and the fact she did wear a feather to her wedding, making that correlation is priceless 🎉🎉😂
“I want you to commit to me, and do so with more than just empty words!”
“Okay, I’ve bought you the Hot New Item that I see all the ladies around me wearing, and I’d like you to meet my friends!”
“They’re awful, I can’t smoke and this gift is gross!”
Carrie, come on
Just leaving a comment on the duck purse. I would say that was actually a nice move on his part. He knows she likes fashion and paid attention enough to know that the women in his class currently all have novelty purses and he went out of his way to get her a nice one. Goodness these two are toxic. I think if Carrie was actually secure about herself there would be no games between these two.
Agreed, she acts like it’s this existential crisis and meanwhile he was probably just like “oh a purse. Duck shaped, that’s avant-garde? She’ll love it.” It reminds me of that meme with the couple in bed where the wife thinks he’s thinking of another woman and he’s thinking about Pokémon Go or the Roman Empire or literally anything else.
Yeah also Carrie is always wearing eccentric designer stuff, how could he know that she wouldn't like that purse? 😅
Perfect! I just finished watching the whole series for the first time in my 30s (I first watched SATC in high school...boy does it hit differently now!)
Rewatching the show now at 28, Carrie was stuck in a loop. A lesson she continued to fail. Scary
Miss Sassy is back 💅 love your commentary so much 😂
Also why do i feel like that bag would be 100% Carrie's style?? So weird she didnt like it considering how crazy she dresses all the time! Her wedding dress/outfit had a bird on her head 😂 this was strange writing 😂
Right?! at least give her a fruit one, but she’s into the bird thing.
@@sarahelo009 💯 fr
This is a great observation. Carrie is a walking contradiction. One of the many reasons I’m sure, why she would date big was because he was part of the social elite and that was part of the allure. By dating him she would get access to that upper class, he was her golden ticket to climb socially. So she wanted to belong there, but at the same time, looked down on them. Wanted to be them, but not one of them?? 🥴 And especially that she had Charlotte as her friend, who was the upper class herself. Charlotte often spoke about her experience and the rules that apply that you need to follow. Charlotte knew how to play the part, eg. in front of her mother-in-law Bunny. But Carrie wanted to get in to that social elite whilst at the same time act as a rebel child? This is somewhat tactless of her, and inconsiderate of all she knows by exposure (by being Charlotte’s friend). Big did what every men would do, look around in his own circle to see what women like when choosing a gift. In London, most upper class people do like the same things and same brands. And it served a good purpose, make her look like she belongs to the social setting she will be introduced to, it’s almost like a token, so people would be more likely to take her as one of their own kind. She’s such a drama Queen and a victim…and the fact she did wear a feather to her wedding, making that correlation is priceless 🎉🎉😂
I actually like the duck clutch.
my favourite part of this is that every single time you offer a solution, it always ends with "or you could just break up" 😅
I always thought that Big said "not get carried away" was a little pun by the writers on her name .. getting carried away in Bigs eyes is the annoying behavior Carry puts on.
That’s a very interesting word game indeed 🤔
21:02 my man is so straight forward, if I didn’t tell him I was leaving stuff on purpose he would think it was an accident and bring them back to be helpful 😂
I hope that's really the case for you. What I've experienced with "straight-forward" men is the use it as an excuse to act dumb. When it benefits them, oh then they can magically read between the lines lol
The duck purse may not have been Carrie's taste, but I'm thinking do most men even have much taste when it comes to women's fashion? And I thought the fact that he was trying to get her something that would fit in among his 'people' wasn't the worst type of gesture? 🤷♀
It's almost like either the writers were trying to sabotage Carrie by making her do some dick moves too in that specific episode, or Carrie subconsciously noted that the gift and the invitation to the party both were loving gestures from John and decided to revel in having the upper hand for once. Or she knows these people will never really accept her, so she pre-rejects them in self defense.
can't believe i stumbled upon the new episode of your analysis one minute after you posted it lmao
aiii 😁hope you enjoy it!🤗
@@insightsbyv of course! i LOVE your videos, you're the best 💅🏻💗
Therapy in session. Im so happy i found your insights
Hot take, I remember observing some disordered eating habits on this show when i watched tidbits of it as a kid. Having suffered (and recovered, woo!) from ED myself i wondered if some of Carrie's meltdowns were exacerbated by ignoring her bodies needs and smoking instead.
Furious, shocked, and entertained sums it up perfectly 😂👍
I don’t even think Carrie actually really loved Big, at least at this point in the show. I think he was just a means to access her drug of choice …validation. If she were really in love with Big she could not have taken another man home that easily. She wasn’t getting enough of her validation drug from Big, so she got it from the other guy. I think on some level Big realized this, and also used her to meet his own validation drug needs, but it’s exactly why he kept her at arm’s length and was non-committal about anything long term with Carrie. He couldn’t even bring her to a party with his type of people without her throwing a hissy fit and behaving badly and resentfully. How could he incorporate a person like her into his life when he couldn’t even bring her to a fancy party?
Jup. I agree!
58:17 "Don't move across the country and have expectiations" Damn, towards the end this felt PERSONAL! LMFAO. i was just about to type a comment and then you say that_???!!!!! Ah, my 29 year old self is LOL'ing. I learned this lesson just recently.....im 37 and moved across the country for a boy I met in vegas and we had been in a 5 year LONG distance relationship, broke up and kept talkling, then we started talking again...(without being in a relationship) and said if i wanted to go for three months to see him, i of course said YES!!!!! LOL. (A lot of red flags, but I was in a completely different place mentally and spiritually where I didn't want to see things how they truly were). I knew things were not going to work because I noticed we were just too different, besides culturally and not speaking the same language (he spoke fluent English but we still were two very different people) I "fell" for him because of how he looked physically, I had only dated Mexican men and he was the first caucasian man that i've ever dated or that showed interest in me. (YUP- the codependency and need for external validation) That relationship ended right away but I had stayed with him because I was in a foreign country and was about to begin a new job, it was horrible being with a person who you onced thought you loved. :/ I am happy to say that I am still living in Germany BUT alone, or in a living community (common here in Germany). :D AND, I began taking Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in 09/2021 and stopped drinking alcohol 12.10.2021. Healing isnt linear! Someone told me that and i had laughed when i heard it...slowly it began making sense and channels like yours are a good reminder of what to be aware of. This video really brought up alot of thoughts. Thank you!
BTW, I had NO idea that I was not subscribed!. Now I am. :D
Oh my god i just realised, he gave a gift that was unwanted and showed that he didn't understand her. And her saying 'i love you' was giving big a gift that he didn't want, and that showed she didn't understand him!
Omg that's so true🤣
What's interesting about this section particularly of your analysis, is generally I'm very "Carrie needs to grow up", but as you broke things down, the more I realized in this season how much Carrie acts like a victim of narcissistic abuse. If we take all her behavior in a singular instance, your analysis is so on point, but if we think about these being snippets of what is months and months of conditioning, I realized how much in this season she's a victim. Particularly if there was love bombing we never saw from Big in the beginning. That would change everything!
I disagree, if anyone is the narcissist, it's Carrie. Let's not forget he never cheated on her, while she cheated on him TWICE, including after they were married.
@e.a.4926 I get you, but my argument is basically that this is from Carrie's point of view and is only snippets of moments in the relationship. We dont KNOW that Big cheated on her, but multiple timelines and behaviors make it seem pretty likely making me think it's more than possible Big's inconsistency was just snippets of the moments that set Carrie off. Plus he cheated constantly, just because we don't KNOW he did it with her, I think he fully fits the bill. Carrie has her own issues sure, but I think there's a lot of what she does that's reactionary. It often looks overly reactionary, but if we're only seeing the climax of an issue they've been having for months, then idk.
Aka the way she acts the first time she sees him out with another woman at a restaurant seems crazy if they're casually dating, but totally normal if he's given her the impression he doesn't casually date or like he's interested in something serious with her, which was his bread and butter to be unclear and inconsistent when answering those kinds of questions.
She strikes me as insecure, immature, and pretty shallow, but not narcissistic most of the time. Really only the thing with Aiden would make me think otherwise and that's a whole other season where I do think the whole vibe kind of changes.
Carrie is my spirit animal. I have my own Big and i cant seem to make myself just give up on it.
If no one has told you, you deserve better 💜
I think you should do a q&a where we can send in our relationship questions, 😂as you give good advice 😍😍
Waa, nice idea!! Let me think about how, but maybe community posts could be easy.. so then i do a video answering questions..🤓
Thank you for the suggestion🤗
I like the idea! Omg she sees and says it as it is.
@@insightsbyvi totally agree
Please continue analyzing Mr Big/Carrie's romanticized toxic/immature relationship. Following all that from Sweden. 🙂
9:34 Thank you for trying to envision how we would feel if Big was doing something crazy that Carrie did! So many times I feel like we give Carrie a pass for stuff that we would absolutely hate on Big for doing! She had the nerve to behave that way at one of Big’s functions and embarrass him …and we wonder why he didn’t see her as long term relationship material? I don’t blame him.
I think he casting and acting and overall writing is so good on this show. I love your analysis. It’s interesting and very good insight to the character’s psychology
I cannot wait for the next part!! 😅 It was just the 'biggest' mess you can imagine with lovely Aidan and poor Natascha in between 😢
27:30 I partially agree, and partially don't. I think Carrie herself was actually rather uninterested in living with a partner, we saw this with Aiden, she actually wanted her own space. But she chased cohabitation with Big because it was denied her, so it was ego driven instead of heart driven.
We can see this in the films too, they were similar in wanting to be alone sometimes. She just didn't like him making it obvious 😂
I love these takes! So grateful you uploaded another one, I watched all your other videos on this!
About who says the 'I love you' first, I literally think life is too short to hold back with telling people. This thinking comes with the fact that I tell my friends amd family on a regular basis that I love them. People don't hear it often enough and most people don't feel loved enough.
Don't say it to a man who didn't confess it yet tho
@@narzz5637 no I have. Why is that a problem?
@@narzz5637this kinda mindset is exactly why so many people are not loved enough. don't be pushy, sure, but say stuff when you feel that you need to and when it's reasonable. no need to follow these stupid rules
@@u_u2406 yes! I wholeheartedly agree with this. I can see that many are scared to be vulnerable, given that many carry scars of a past. That is in itself very valid, but it is not the burden of another to work through. If the reason is though that you are scared of the other person immediately losing interest, or that you somehow lose value by saying it, then I think you have instinctively learned that this person is not mature enough to treat your emotions with respect.
Never in my life, did I have to play "hard to get". For the wrong type of guy, I am not to get at all, but for the right type of guy, I am really easy to get. That is not a flaw,
Can we all be a little nicer to Carrie? I think a lot of us have been in her situation at some point in our lives. She's not purposely trying to hurt anyone with her actions, she's just hurting herself. I don't think it's "pathetic", I think it's relatable and kinda heartbreaking tbh
I see myself so much in Carrie, it’s embarrassing to be like this 😅 but you get addicted to the other person & they breadcrumb and string you along. The only winner is the other person who’s holding all the cards
I agree, I see this as a big lesson in empathy for oneself and expressing kindness to oneself.
Many of us can look at Carrie and feel a too intimate and revealing type of pain that we have not fully healed from, we want to slap her hands away from the man that burns her, like we wish we could have done it to our former selves. Most of the time when I watch Carrie, despite her flaws, I think she deserves love too, in fact, she seemingly craves it so much that she is really acting like someone who has deprived her of water for days and then someone dangles a glass of water in front of her, only to let her have 1 sip and then berates her for yanking the glass out of their hand to just drink.
I just want to give her a hug...
Her age makes it pathetic, I think we've all been there when we were young but how are you in your 30s and still falling for this shit
I feel like a lot of people relate to Carrie but are unhappy seeing their faults like that. There's a reason so many popular works of fiction have more self-indulgent role model protagonists - it's more comfortable to watch someone who is aspirational than someone who is a big mess. I also feel like it's a bit of a gendered double standard and agree with people who say Carrie is a female antihero. The fact that we can do these in-depth analyses of her faults is a good thing about her! She's a fictional character with depth. It's rare to talk about flawed male leads with the level of vitriol and personal scorn that Carrie attracts.
@@rosereddened That is such a beautiful observation to make, and it's true. It seems we are in tune with out humanity
This content is incredible! Please keep creating, you are like a wiser sister to me now. I suddenly see so many parallels in the behavior of Big and my ex which I could not see while I was in that relationship, it is crazy!
And yes, would be amazing if you made videos with stories of your subscribers
Very happy this has been uploaded and am ready to jump in. Thanks 🙏🥳 x
These videos are quickly becoming my fave series. Love the sass you bring in…Carrie WAKE UP. 😂
On the topic of "Carrie can't seem to say that she wants something without also making it about what Big wants", I got the sense that the intent of the writers was to show that Carrie wanted Big to want something. She WANTED him to want to leave stuff at her place, she WANTED him to want to integrate himself into her life. In that scene, she was basically begging him to want something from her. The problem was that she felt like he never wanted anything, which to her was indicative that he didn't care
Is it my birthday or is it V's new video on SATC? 😮 oh wait it's both! 😊🎉
Whaaaaat 😁😁 Happy birthdaay!!! Wish you as little Mr. Bigs as possible!😎
Have fun celebrating!🤗
@@insightsbyv Thank you! ❤ That's actually a very thoughtful wish 😅🥰
Happy birthday 🩵🩵
@@prettyladdiee2261 thank you 💖🎉✨
It’s almost your half-birthday 🥳
Finally! I've been waiting for this one😍
6:25 she really goes full pick me, my whole body cringed as it made me remember how I used to act like that in high school 😂😂😂
you're literally best friend material omg so funny and wise
I really like your analysis and insights on these types of shows and movies :)
He bought her a Judith Lieber bag. Check out Bronwyn from RHOLSC for context. He is reading her as an avant garde high society person, she just doesn't have the context. It's a broken communication system problem. Like giving someone a several thousand dollar purse, for him, is a type of love language. He wouldn't have given that purse to a beige Natasha. She lacks the perspective to see how he is translating in his framework. I don't like defending Big, but Carrie is pathological.
I love your perspective on the show but also for real life, it's so insightful. Thank you 💙
The video I’ve been waiting for so long, and I can’t believe it ends like that 😅
you really read her here. she wants to be this care free, cool girl, but it's all fragmented parts of herself. she's not whole.
i think Carrie is very much a codependent. and she thinks by doing these things, it will make Big wants her the way she wants him. but she didn't take into consideration the kind of relationship he wants, or most importantly, the kind of role he has for her. she thinks that by keep pushing or by keep giving in to him, she'll get him.
and she sees Big as not being ready to commit and lalala which allows her to justify staying with him. but what she doesn't see is the flaws in herself. why would she want to be with someone who doesn't include her in his decisions? why does she want to be with someone who has so little regard for her? and what's annoying is that, she never wrote her relationship with Big, through a more mature perception. she's always trying to make it sound good and look cool, but she never really dig deep.
Id love an analysis on why Big keeps going back to Carrie and staying with her for long periods ❤
I genuinely don't believe everyone who says he doesn't like her, he likes her a lot and even might love her, but he's got issues from past relationships and he has an idea of the type of woman he should end up with. These things plus her being so pushy initially made him feel weird about his feelings and their relationship.
But no way does he just see her as a booty call, he could get other women for that (and let's be honest she's not easy to deal with lol), he finds her fascinating, cute, funny, and loves being with her. They just both are bad at relationships and toxic lol.
@@alliepenaherrera1976if you see things that way , you’re going to get play easily.
Big was using Carrie because she’s convenient. She doesn’t expect too much. If he was really into her , he wouldn’t have waited that long and marrying Natasha. Like girlies , wake up !!!
@@haryel5058 I've been married and with the same man for 10 years so I think I'm okay lol but I appreciate your perspective.
@@alliepenaherrera1976 lmaooo marriage doesn’t mean you have standards lol some women marry their worst enemy🤭
Your perspective can be detrimental for women not as lucky as you! I wish you the best with your hubby :)
love your dawwwwg!! and this analysis obvs
Thank you in advance for this video, I’m so happy to watch it !!
Thank youu for enjoying it🤗🫶
Such a great video! Spot on analysis
I wonder if he ate the rest of the McDonald’s after she stormed off 😂
This was genuinely a fantastic video! I love video essays on tv shows and I love hearing perspectives on human connection/behaviour. This is the most interesting way to combine the two! An hour flew by like that!
Girl, your videos are so good ! Your analysis of the Big & Carrie situation is fucking great seriously. I LOVE it ! Thank you !
I cannot waiiiiiiit for the next chapter 🤩🤩🤩
🍿 Next Part: ruclips.net/video/H065fPpnhEY/видео.html
Finally 🫣 Mary, the week was ruff... 😅
Curious, why Mary though?
@@ss-wu1vp no particular reason🤓
I love your videos on this series thank you very much
Loved it ! It is very insightful and again, you are hilarious !!! Can’t wait for the next video !!!
Love these videos! Keep them coming!
Love the small Gilmore Girls reference at 2:00 👍
Lol 😂
I love your analyses of this so much. Maybe this isn't your purpose but the way you break down Carrie's actions and their unconscious motivations almost has some therapy payoff for me because it makes me realize when my own behavior has been similar, even though i don't date so it's been in other circumstances. I loved your point that Carrie loses her temper over something she does have the right to be angry about and then capitulates in the other direction, deciding that because she went too far, all of it was going too far. Ouch oof i've definitely done that! It's so helpful to hear someone articulate it.
I love these videos, can't wait for the next one!!🖤
My favourite videos right now!!
I relocated for my ex-husband.. it didn’t work out, but he did propose to me a few days after I moved in.
my current boyfriend did #2 when we were on the hotel after knowing each other for 2 days lmao he told me “get out of the bathroom, it’s an emergency!” and then i hear that he started playing loud music so i couldn’t hear anything hahah
HOT TAKE: Big's ego entirely thrives on making his partners feel insecure and needy. He likes it that way, but will always pin the blame for the dynamic on his partner.
Exactly!
I feel like Carrie should have watched your videos!
The judith leiber bag wasnt the best but it was fun omg, esoecially because everyone at the party was wearing it!! Oh and the hostess only wearing white wine was cool, like she has a theme, she put effort and thiyght into it!!! Carrie is cool, but like we have to have fun and be positive in our heads instead of criticising people, thats just misery... We can do better!!! 💖
You have helped me so much in getting over my ex I’m so serious
so happy I found your channel
Thank you 😆😁
I love this analysis 🤍🤍🤍
I love this series so much that I put it on the TV 😅
I just noticed little puppers on the couch. What a cutie 🥰
the passed out dog in the backgroud
52:00 some tough love here to digest.
im loving this videos!!
“If they want to they will.”
My husband told me he loved me first. Later I asked him to marry me. Two years into our married he came out as she. Later I asked her to marry me again. If they really like you they WILL make it work.
❤
Wtf
@@ss-wu1vp I guess you’ve never really liked someone.
That's heartwarming story
Honey, child...
43:00 oof. "Because you had even less opportunities to talk about commitement" that was exactly the problem with them. It was "better" because she had to shut up more to the point of exploding, not because he liked her 💀.
To be honest, I'm with Mr Big on finding it annoying that Carrie called him in the early hours of the morning to drunkenly berate him. I mean, I'd never act like Big in the first place, so I'd never be in his situation. He is undoubtedly an asshole for not considering his partner in his life plans. But Carrie calling him in this way is also horrible. He needs to work, he needs to sleep, and she isn't even honest with him about her feelings in that moment. So it's just a call to act out her inferiority complex and anger and to punish him. Not exactly what I'd call relationship material.
Yeah but he is the one who led that situation to happen, he had her on her last nerve by that point. I'm not saying that she is the perfect victim, but in that situation he has to take accountability of how damaging was that revelation to his partner and how she was losing it. Anyways, my take is that she should have dumped him a lot sooner to not reach that point.
@@danielapardo9776 I agree with you. I just wanted to point out that I myself - as in, not someone who'd behave as ego as Big - would be pretty annoyed by such a late night call 😅 It doesn't mean you're an unempathetic asshole if you want to sleep.
I mean yes Carrie was being immature and inconsiderate, but also it's a super common dynamic where one partner pokes until the other blows up and then the blame lands on the one who acts out, with no acknowledgement of what the more calm one is doing to contribute to the dynamic. I listen to Esther Perel's therapy podcast and she's very good at pointing out "You are correct that she blows up, but you are also adept at pushing her buttons, Sir."
@@stephysteph8558 I agree completely, it's happened to me often in the past and usually, the 'calm one' is a man. I just wanted to state that personally, I'd hate for someone to wake me up in the middle of the night to drunkely rant about what they're too immature to say right to my face when sober. This is one thing where I'm with Big on this.
@@konpulsiv Fair 😂
May be a hot take but I don't believe Big ever loved Carrie. He only ends up with her because she's convenient to him. Once no one else will take him that's when he returns.
Phew… this episode hit home today 😅
In Carrie's defence, that purse really was ugly
I dont like how he picks the duck clutch, but I kind of like the duck clutch. There, I said it.n
omg im so early love ur work
ahahha 😁 Thank youuu!🤗
Can some one please let me know what musical piece she used at 3:37 I can’t place it but I’ve heard it😩. TIA
I actually think Big never wanted her to assume that they’d move together because he didn’t want to move in with her, that’s why he did not say a word about Paris till it was very late. It’s crazy that Carrie thought that was something he wanted taking into account how he managed that situation.
You: A purse in the shape of a duck? With diamonds?
Me: Sell it.
I also agree that Big wanted to end it with Carrie. I think he already had Natasha by the time of the Paris trip, so he was trying to push Carrie away and make her break up with him so he wasn't the "bad guy." I also agree with you that he potentially wanted that lingering feeling affection to stay with Carrie and him breaking up with her might shatter that. But if she breaks up with him, then she might come back later like before when its more ideal for him.
But by the time she came back, Natasha was a more agreeable match. Only later he'll regret it as while Natasha is good wife material, the kind of woman he can take to boogey parties and she'll behave appropriately, looks good with him, etc, he is still obsessed with Carrie. And then the next season happens.
I enjoy your SATC videos but I have a totally different reading of this show. Mr Big clearly communicates his boundaries to Carrie and she ignores him and violates his boundaries. Mr Big communicates verbally while Carrie tries to rely on psychic communication instead of verbal communication. Carrie relies on her(mostly unrealistic) expectations of Mr Big instead of recognizing who Mr Big is. He expresses many times that he is divorced and has to do things on his own timeline. She doesn’t listen to him or respect him. I think Mr Big is way more understanding and patient than you give him credit for. 🙂 I also think she was unreasonable in the SATC movie wedding storyline 🙃🙃🙃
Wrong. It had nothing to do with who Mr. Big is. It had everything to do with Big just did not want Carrie. She was not “it” for him. Which is why he meets and marries Natasha a few months later. Big is capable of everything Carrie “expects”, he just doesn’t want that with her. It’s crucial to not try to analyze a man and give him character traits. Just analyze his behavior and actions when it comes to you.
@@wanderingjadah he literally married again 😐
I mean Carrie is super in denial, but it's like how people defend Summer from 500 Days of Summer. John knows how to give Carrie just enough good sex and superficial validation to keep her on the hook without ever giving her the commitment she wants. Just like how Summer refused to put labels on her relationship with Tom while still enjoying sex and dates with him, so she could dump him without guilt because they were never officially a couple. She knew Tom wanted more and gave him just enough intimacy to keep him thinking that someday she might fall in love with him for real, all while taking up his time and attention so he couldn't move on to the type of relationship he actually wanted. At least Summer and Tom are in their 20s; John is a middle aged man. He could be more like Samantha and sleep around with like-minded folk, but he keeps engaging with Carrie.
At a certain point you gotta do better. If you care about a person, even if not romantically, it's shitty to take advantage of them. That's why still I hold John accountable even if Carrie is a hot mess. If I saw someone get googly eyes for me, I wouldn't keep having casual sex with them. I'd be like "Thank you, but Go Be Freeeee." (Although this is something of an empty brag because I'm the most like Charlotte. I unabashedly love being in a committed relationship. 😛)
@@toriyt2714thank you Tori for this comment, bc some comments are like 🥴, giving excuses to Big .. This man has shown her times and times again who he truly was. Carrie didn’t wanna accept that.
My ex is a total big- only without the wealth and good business sense 😂 what a waste of time!
Your videos are perfect! Ok? Ok 💝💝💝💝
... Eh. I mean, not all couples need to live together. It doesn't mean you have a fear of commitment. Mr Big does, but the want of both partners living in their separate places, that on its own is valid imo. If a couple is dedicated to one another for 40 years, travel together, spend a lot of time together, are they not committed because they like to live in their own apartments?
I suppose not, but it's not the same level of commitment is it? Committed to what? I'm assume just not cheating? Not committing to paying bills together, building a home together, having children together etc it's a level of depending on each other that makes commitment important. not saying the relationship and level of commitment isn't valid if you don't do these things it's just not the same. One isn't better than the other.
Love ur vids