When I had bad social anxiety, I did comfort zone challenges like lying down in street, and one thing i learnt from doing that is most people are so wrapped up in their own lives and focused on themselves, they barely even notice all the things you over analyse about yourself. I remember lying on the pavement in a busy street doing that comfort zone challenge, and 80% of people didn't even look, the rest just glanced over and carried on walking. We're all focused on ourselves for the most part, the day we have ahead of us, our problems and insecurities etc. You could run through your nearest city center dressed as bigfoot and 90% of people will of forgotten by the time they get home. So when you're feeling insecure about being yourself in public and you're judging everything you do, chances are you're the only one doing that to you, everyone else is probably doing it to themselves, or thinking about work or problems they're facing at the moment, and so on. It helped me to realise that, i hope it helps someone here too.
I'm crying because this is exactly what I'm going through right now and it's so hard to just allow myself to be me. But the good thing is, the inner turmoil comes from me really trying. I've been going out of my comfort zone these past few months. I am improving and I am afraid. It's going to be okay.
I love it! Also for me, one of the things that liberated me from the fear of judgement is that even IF people are judging me… it is a reflection of themselves and their own insecurities, and they are just projecting fears onto someone else as they haven’t healed it within ❤
When I tell people that I’m struggling to feel confident, they always assume I’m talking about my looks. I have struggled with accepting my personality for years, and worry so much about being judged. Thank you for this validation and amazing advice as usual Julia 💕
This came at a perfect time. I’ve been paralyzed by fear all my life because of my mother instilling in me that I should be perfect at all times. From my looks, to my words, and every action… everything was scrutinized. So thankful for your videos which help me to see the flaws in my thinking and give me the confidence to overcome them.
I had realized in the last year how much energy I was spending on worrying about what people think about me. I don't have any family left. I have really grown to love myself and be me that God wants me to be. I work daily focusing on myself and not spending mental energy on what people think of me. Recently my husband and I went to build a bear. We made a stuffed animal. Then we walked the rest of the mall. I noticed a few looks. I told myself I don't care what they think about me. I love stuffed animals even at 50 years old maybe the rest of my life. I care what my boss and husband think to an extent. I show up in my life to be me. Thank you Julia for your RUclips videos and master classes. My husband and I have watched for a few years and we are working on the stuff that was holding us back. I have triumphal against growing up with the merry go around of codependence, enmeshment and drama
This is exactly me! I’m in agony right now because of the struggle to like myself. The second guessing, criticizing, the replaying , the fear, worried about being judged, my low self esteem! Yes, you might as we’ll be talking to me except me reaching out and me experiencing joy! I’m in a new job and I must rise to the occasion and show them and myself I can shine ! I’m a shifter, hopefully I’m not embarrassing myself… I will take it to the Shift Society to discuss, thank you Julia!
Melynda, idk bout Julia, but I do know based on my perspective that everything you described sounds a lot like me when I was younger. And I still struggle to make even the most basic decisions but I just think that is being human and selfaware and protecting ourselves from harm or danger. That being said, you are definitely not an embarrassment and i was taught at an early age to take into account others' perspectives and realize we can agree to disagree no matter how good or bad a particular thought, perception, object, or situation might be. Blessings 🙏 and always know there are people out there (including myself) that are willing to help.
Good observations Julia! You are doing terrific work and helping lots of people, thank you! The End of Uncomfortableness My journey is unique and beyond comparison. I act from my own values, unconcerned with how others might judge me. I cooperate with others, without competing with others. I value authenticity, integrity and liberty. I value honesty, equality and happiness. My purpose in life to be exactly as I am, and to love and to accept myself exactly as I am. I dont need to control situations, people or outcomes. I have no complaints, because I expect the unexpected, and I am never dissappointed. I allow myself to take risks, to make mistakes and to be imperfect. I have always done the best I could under difficult circumstances. I am proud of myself and I feel good about myself. I am on the right path, moving steadily in the right direction. I am grateful to all of the people who are showing me the way! an affirmation poem by The Alien Overlord Proponent.
This is awesome rhetoric and something all of us can do if we put our minds to. It might not seem easy for many people right away, but in the long run it won't cost any form of currency whether it would be a penny or dime, lol
Honestly, i really do love Mrs julia so much. Since I started watching our videos I'm really passing through some shifts even if it is little, the most important thing is the tiny shift that brings sthe all change. Although this is my first time commenting. However, this videos are really powerful and helpful
Hi Julia Thank you for the video. I've been struggling with being myself and being free. One thing that stuck out was asking yourself why am I afraid of what others will think of me and being afraid on how they'll think of me is the key to my answers. I'm going to start asking myself that. The worst place you could be is in your mind.
Yea I know what this feels like too. And not even just the aspect in regard to what others think of me all the time; but to build and maintain self awareness, and not pay attention to gossip, ridiculous social media trends, and not being gullible when it comes to mainstream news and what not.
I've been a subscriber for a few years now and I really enjoy your content / advice. Plus, I appreciate the stylish black and white colour presentation choice!!
I sometimes fear even walking by myself outside. If I am walking in a safe distance behind a women I tend to fear if they think I am stalking her. I noticed I had been judging myself by thinking she will think I am a bad person by her thinking about me a certain way. Even if they did stop and ask "are you following me?" I know I am not and I can ask back "what made you think that?"
For me it's in my body, I freeze, I can't do it even thinking about the eyes on me and the judgement is too much. Then again I've had a life of ridicule, judgement, being different. Doing those things might give me joy, but others reaction can lead to feelings of rejection which is certainly not joy. Logically I understand, It's just hard at this point to break out of that shell.
After a contentious divorce - the way the court decided - the way people changed around me after that- I stopped participating in life and lost connection with my young kids. Lost my entire social circle. I let my ex walk all over me for over a decade and it cost me everything. I’m learning how to start new with new insight after struggling for so many years. Good luck to all.
I love your messages. Thank you so much for your work. You helped me a lot during of times of such intense stress. One of many things that really helped me from your previous video is the way you said - this is the time when… that’s just so brilliant. Thank you!
Thanks this was helpful. I started a new contract with a client, in writing something I am not used to. I didn’t hit it out of the park on the first try and I was judging myself badly. But this video reminded me to take a step back and let it all be 😊
Love your videos and practical advice. Why do we care so much about what goes on in the minds of others? for me it's a feeling that has always been with me as long as I can remember - that everyone else has more right to be here than me. Which is obviously total nonsense. i have managed to overcome it to a great extent by challenging myself in small ways to be and do and say anything I feel like as often as possible. And yes sometimes I do raise eyebrows - and I have come to enjoy that. And getting to love and accept myself more and more.
Tbh, I think it just comes down to biases and perceptions we all have not just in regard to others, but ourselves as well. Self-awareness is key. Social status matters but not always the way we think it should (at least imo).
I think usually I tell myself I need to act a certain way to protect myself in different crowds. I don't want to come off being vulnerable or a easy target. Now I feel that maybe I can be myself and still be watchful, alert or should I only be myself in situations/places in my life that can respect it?? Idk.
I stay in the house way too much because of my social anxiety worrying what everyone thinks of my when I go anywhere, I been putting on makeup more often which makes me feel better in the moment. As soon as I leave the house any Public place I go I have that social anxiety that don't go away. I even looked in the mirror tonight and told myself I look good but I still feel that anxiety around people, idk how I can just learn to be comfortable with social settings 😢
I totally understand what this feels like. You're definitely not alone. My social anxiety has never been where I've wanted it either but I just think it comes down to inner beliefs and trusting yourself before you can develop faithfulness in others. But I've always believed there are people that we can all relate to no matter the level of fear or anxiety that we might be experiencing. It's complicated, but we can only know for certain if we can be willing to step out of our comfort zone (as dumb as that might seem).
I can't count the number of times people have told me to be myself and then turned right around and told me that my laughter was too intrusive or my voice was too loud, or I shouldn't have said something etc... it makes me want to hide myself away
When I had bad social anxiety, I did comfort zone challenges like lying down in street, and one thing i learnt from doing that is most people are so wrapped up in their own lives and focused on themselves, they barely even notice all the things you over analyse about yourself. I remember lying on the pavement in a busy street doing that comfort zone challenge, and 80% of people didn't even look, the rest just glanced over and carried on walking. We're all focused on ourselves for the most part, the day we have ahead of us, our problems and insecurities etc. You could run through your nearest city center dressed as bigfoot and 90% of people will of forgotten by the time they get home. So when you're feeling insecure about being yourself in public and you're judging everything you do, chances are you're the only one doing that to you, everyone else is probably doing it to themselves, or thinking about work or problems they're facing at the moment, and so on. It helped me to realise that, i hope it helps someone here too.
I'm crying because this is exactly what I'm going through right now and it's so hard to just allow myself to be me. But the good thing is, the inner turmoil comes from me really trying. I've been going out of my comfort zone these past few months. I am improving and I am afraid. It's going to be okay.
We all have struggles and I understand what this feels like. None of us are alone. Be kind to yourself.
I love it! Also for me, one of the things that liberated me from the fear of judgement is that even IF people are judging me… it is a reflection of themselves and their own insecurities, and they are just projecting fears onto someone else as they haven’t healed it within ❤
You got it! More often than not, that is exactly what's happening.
Definitely an accurate sentiment 💯
When I tell people that I’m struggling to feel confident, they always assume I’m talking about my looks. I have struggled with accepting my personality for years, and worry so much about being judged. Thank you for this validation and amazing advice as usual Julia 💕
This came at a perfect time. I’ve been paralyzed by fear all my life because of my mother instilling in me that I should be perfect at all times. From my looks, to my words, and every action… everything was scrutinized. So thankful for your videos which help me to see the flaws in my thinking and give me the confidence to overcome them.
I had realized in the last year how much energy I was spending on worrying about what people think about me. I don't have any family left. I have really grown to love myself and be me that God wants me to be. I work daily focusing on myself and not spending mental energy on what people think of me. Recently my husband and I went to build a bear. We made a stuffed animal. Then we walked the rest of the mall. I noticed a few looks. I told myself I don't care what they think about me. I love stuffed animals even at 50 years old maybe the rest of my life. I care what my boss and husband think to an extent. I show up in my life to be me.
Thank you Julia for your RUclips videos and master classes. My husband and I have watched for a few years and we are working on the stuff that was holding us back.
I have triumphal against growing up with the merry go around of codependence, enmeshment and drama
I relate to this post sooo much. I love it!
-Best Wishes
Awesome advice!We all here but,once.Nothing is guarenteed not even the next minute.Enjoy while you are here.
This is exactly me! I’m in agony right now because of the struggle to like myself. The second guessing, criticizing, the replaying , the fear, worried about being judged, my low self esteem! Yes, you might as we’ll be talking to me except me reaching out and me experiencing joy! I’m in a new job and I must rise to the occasion and show them and myself I can shine ! I’m a shifter, hopefully I’m not embarrassing myself… I will take it to the Shift Society to discuss, thank you Julia!
Melynda, idk bout Julia, but I do know based on my perspective that everything you described sounds a lot like me when I was younger. And I still struggle to make even the most basic decisions but I just think that is being human and selfaware and protecting ourselves from harm or danger. That being said, you are definitely not an embarrassment and i was taught at an early age to take into account others' perspectives and realize we can agree to disagree no matter how good or bad a particular thought, perception, object, or situation might be. Blessings 🙏 and always know there are people out there (including myself) that are willing to help.
@@EmbraceTheStruggle24 Thank you for such kind words and encouragement . Blessings to you !
@@melyndafrazer1962 always ; )
If you care about what everyone thinks of you you be stuck in doors all day doing nothing. Usually people are only thinking about themselves ❤❤
True 💯
Good observations Julia! You are doing terrific work and helping lots of people, thank you!
The End of Uncomfortableness
My journey is unique and beyond comparison.
I act from my own values, unconcerned with how others might judge me.
I cooperate with others, without competing with others.
I value authenticity, integrity and liberty.
I value honesty, equality and happiness.
My purpose in life to be exactly as I am, and to love and to accept myself exactly as I am.
I dont need to control situations, people or outcomes.
I have no complaints, because I expect the unexpected, and I am never dissappointed.
I allow myself to take risks, to make mistakes and to be imperfect.
I have always done the best I could under difficult circumstances.
I am proud of myself and I feel good about myself.
I am on the right path, moving steadily in the right direction.
I am grateful to all of the people who are showing me the way!
an affirmation poem by The Alien Overlord Proponent.
This is awesome rhetoric and something all of us can do if we put our minds to. It might not seem easy for many people right away, but in the long run it won't cost any form of currency whether it would be a penny or dime, lol
Honestly, i really do love Mrs julia so much. Since I started watching our videos I'm really passing through some shifts even if it is little, the most important thing is the tiny shift that brings sthe all change. Although this is my first time commenting. However, this videos are really powerful and helpful
Her vids are great. Definitely the undisputed queen of youtube psychology and therapy.
Hi Julia Thank you for the video. I've been struggling with being myself and being free. One thing that stuck out was asking yourself why am I afraid of what others will think of me and being afraid on how they'll think of me is the key to my answers. I'm going to start asking myself that. The worst place you could be is in your mind.
Yea I know what this feels like too. And not even just the aspect in regard to what others think of me all the time; but to build and maintain self awareness, and not pay attention to gossip, ridiculous social media trends, and not being gullible when it comes to mainstream news and what not.
You hit all my feelings right from the start of this video. There needs to be more content on self esteem and social anxiety. Thank you🎉
Julia, You continue to keep me inspired. It’s One Day At A Time… A thankful Shifter…
I see you showing up for yourself. I hope you know how significant that is
Thank you.
I've been a subscriber for a few years now and I really enjoy your content / advice. Plus, I appreciate the stylish black and white colour presentation choice!!
Wonderful! Thanks for letting yourself be seen. Great to have you here.
This just made me cry, I guess that shows the extent of my problem with myself. Thanks Julia for this, your an angel x
Thank you so much for this video
I sometimes fear even walking by myself outside. If I am walking in a safe distance behind a women I tend to fear if they think I am stalking her. I noticed I had been judging myself by thinking she will think I am a bad person by her thinking about me a certain way. Even if they did stop and ask "are you following me?" I know I am not and I can ask back "what made you think that?"
BRILLIANT 👏🏻
Good morning! TY for this video. I really need it today!
Also, I love your hair longer!!
🧡💚💜
you are so welcome. And thank you for your kind words.
For me it's in my body, I freeze, I can't do it even thinking about the eyes on me and the judgement is too much. Then again I've had a life of ridicule, judgement, being different. Doing those things might give me joy, but others reaction can lead to feelings of rejection which is certainly not joy. Logically I understand, It's just hard at this point to break out of that shell.
Thank you for all you have done for me one day at a time is my goal 👍
Beautiful insights. stay blessed. Mmule for South Africa
Thank you so much for this. This really makes me think.
After a contentious divorce - the way the court decided - the way people changed around me after that- I stopped participating in life and lost connection with my young kids. Lost my entire social circle.
I let my ex walk all over me for over a decade and it cost me everything.
I’m learning how to start new with new insight after struggling for so many years.
Good luck to all.
Thank you Julia 😊I am a proud former shifter member of your amazing community! Thank you for your time and your energy. Namaste.❤🙏🏽
Hi friend and former Shifter!
Thank you, Julia. I owe you so much. Really appreciate these free videos!
I love your messages. Thank you so much for your work. You helped me a lot during of times of such intense stress. One of many things that really helped me from your previous video is the way you said - this is the time when… that’s just so brilliant. Thank you!
Thanks this was helpful. I started a new contract with a client, in writing something I am not used to. I didn’t hit it out of the park on the first try and I was judging myself badly. But this video reminded me to take a step back and let it all be 😊
Someone might be thinking "Wow! what a cool idea. I'm going to try that too!"
Right??? Exactly. Why not that?
Thank you, Julia! ❤ -KJ
Thank you...
Love your videos and practical advice. Why do we care so much about what goes on in the minds of others? for me it's a feeling that has always been with me as long as I can remember - that everyone else has more right to be here than me. Which is obviously total nonsense. i have managed to overcome it to a great extent by challenging myself in small ways to be and do and say anything I feel like as often as possible. And yes sometimes I do raise eyebrows - and I have come to enjoy that. And getting to love and accept myself more and more.
Tbh, I think it just comes down to biases and perceptions we all have not just in regard to others, but ourselves as well. Self-awareness is key. Social status matters but not always the way we think it should (at least imo).
I think usually I tell myself I need to act a certain way to protect myself in different crowds. I don't want to come off being vulnerable or a easy target. Now I feel that maybe I can be myself and still be watchful, alert or should I only be myself in situations/places in my life that can respect it?? Idk.
Julia, we've got to think of what to do because someone u love may not understand u and stay away from u, leaving u for good.
Just Awesome 😢❤
really glad it connected.
I stay in the house way too much because of my social anxiety worrying what everyone thinks of my when I go anywhere, I been putting on makeup more often which makes me feel better in the moment. As soon as I leave the house any Public place I go I have that social anxiety that don't go away. I even looked in the mirror tonight and told myself I look good but I still feel that anxiety around people, idk how I can just learn to be comfortable with social settings 😢
I totally understand what this feels like. You're definitely not alone. My social anxiety has never been where I've wanted it either but I just think it comes down to inner beliefs and trusting yourself before you can develop faithfulness in others. But I've always believed there are people that we can all relate to no matter the level of fear or anxiety that we might be experiencing. It's complicated, but we can only know for certain if we can be willing to step out of our comfort zone (as dumb as that might seem).
Hi, Julia. I'm back. Long time no see
I can't count the number of times people have told me to be myself and then turned right around and told me that my laughter was too intrusive or my voice was too loud, or I shouldn't have said something etc... it makes me want to hide myself away
Hi I am Hassan from Pakistan
You look great on facebook today
Thanks! That's kind of you to say.
Hannes
What is self conscious?
The thoughts about yourself that stop you from doing things.
Feeling undue awareness of oneself, one's appearance or one's action.
Are you staying safe with all of the fires around? Hope so.
All I want is an ignorance pill. The sh*t that ruminates through my head is why I'm absolutely miserable in life.
In music wrong notes sucks. Yes I am the critic before anyone else can.
Only time there mad
Hi My name lisa I'm back again. My anxiety has been vamped this summer.
Hi Lisa - great to have you here. Sorry to hear the anxiety has been rearing it's ugly head. What helps when you're feeling anxious like that?
Did you do drugs?
.