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What Kind of Person Will Infidelity Make You Into? Part 1
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- Опубликовано: 23 май 2018
- Samuel gets personal about the journey of the unfaithful.
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- What kind of affair was it?
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- Amanda, Florida
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Samuel is an infidelity survivor and is one of many contributors to Affair Recovery's Survivors’ Blog, www.affairreco.... He participated in Affair Recovery's courses developed by founder and infidelity expert Rick Reynolds, LCSW. After finding healing, hope, and new life, Samuel wishes to share his journey and what AffairRecovery.com has to offer with others so they too can find hope and healing.
Samuel, your comment about the unfaithful not speaking out on the different social platforms really hits home. I have been commenting because your videos have been helping me and us save our marriage. I thank God so much for your special ministry.
I experience so many emotions as a result of my infidelity. Because of my bad decisions I've lost so much of who I thought I was. Slowly I'm being pieced back together but so much feels uncertain and I still have a HUGE amount to learn. I do know that all of the videos are tremendously helpful. On the days when I can't escape the voices of despair, grief, and remorse I put on my headset and listen to your videos. It gives me hope in those dark moments. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being honest, direct, and compassionate. As an Unfaithful, I don't get that too often.
carrie, comments like that give me so much hope and encouragement. i'm so glad you found the videos and they help. thanks for watching and commenting.
I couldn't agree more. The downfall happened so quickly, however the rise is ever so painful and slow. These videos are a tremendous help.
The unfaithful seems to have all the choices. I'm not being snarky, but I really feel like the unfaithful made these choices and now they can choose redemption?! I know everyone has to heal and I know that I'm not the audience for this vlog; I'm just earnestly seeking answers and help. In my case, now I'm left feeling worthless, unloved, lonely, inadequate...b/c of his choices. Even if we don't make it, where does that leave me? I didn't have these issues before and now I've been hit with shame and feeling like a stupid idiot and I don't know what to do. I don't have anyone to talk to.
Sorry you’re feeling this way. The unfairness of it all seems to underscore everything, right? Every past memory that was good is now tainted. Every bit of comfort in what was once is taken from you. Every plan or goal for the future needs to be reconsidered. Luckily tho, I have found a way to not lose or question my value in the least. In fact, the idea that I have choices too but am “just not that kind of person” gives me even more of a boost because I’m most proud of being a person of integrity. You’re a person of integrity too. Don’t let their selfish choice(s) define you. It’s not your fault and be proud that you’re on the side of right! Be blessed!
Sorry you have to endure that.
I'am here!!!! I've been thru it!!!
Thank you! Thank you! This gives me hope for my spouse. He has mentioned many, many times how he hopes and prays that someday he can be healthy and strong enough to help others. I strongly feel this is sometimes part of our earthly journey God created us for. To live though something as painful as this and come out on the other side to help others who are still grappling. This is loving one another. This is ministering. You rocked this one!
you're so very kind. thank you.
Thank you. Sam, Rick and Wayne. I just found out my husband betrayed me May 2020. Everything is still very fresh. Everyday I listened to different talks from your group. It helps me and my husband a lot in guiding us on our recovery. As of now we are still struggling and our future is still uncertain but a lot of positive things changes in my marriage. Even through all this pain, hurt and bitterness and a quick twist in our life we still look forward for our marriage to succeed. Again thank you.
I am just 6 wks out of my Dday….we took the virtual EMS weekend a few days ago. I highly recommend it. You can not do this in your own. We all need and deserve help. These guys really speak in truth and love. We moved forward positively after this weekend. Not gonna be a “piece of cake”… we are walking a long road of recovery but we are waking and learning and not “stuck” or walking in opposite directions now. Prayers for anyone who listens and tries to move with these insights.
My wife divorced me
It has been the most painful thing in my life
I have peace however
I no longer live in fear of loosing her
That was horrible way of living
I pray for reconciliation
I’m in the exact boat now
He was very right! I dont live in the States but I think, even if I have, our pathes would not have crossed unless you wouldnt have gone down that path and healed, and decided that you are going to use this platform to communicate with the world. THROUGH THESE VIDEO series you reached so many people!! Including me who is sitting somewhere in central-eastern europe while the unthinkable HIT ME. It took me a month to find you from D-day (January, 2018), but practically since the past 4 month, you and your voice keeps me above the water. You helped me understand what I have found myself in... the challenges, the details, the particularities, ..and the possibilities.
I am so thankful you cannot imagine.
When one is allowed to say something as an outsider: I think you transcended your choices, your path and your future.
And now we have you! And you have NO IDEA how much you help!
Just counting me alone.. I think I have sent.. at least a ton of thankful vibes towards your direction/day (sounds silly, but somehow I want to make it feel tangible). My partner and I arelso talking about you SOOOO MUCH on a daily basis. He also likes your voice, your insights and how you come through through the videos... Its amazing and I am thankful that he likes your vibes too.. as I can futher elevate my situation from it, and can help him too!
We talk about what you say in different videos just as if we would talk of a friend "This is how you feel dear? Well it makes sense... Samuel is also talking about such a feature and he said... dot dot dot... do you think this relates to how you see things?"
So... HUGE shout-outs, eternal gratitude.. and sending positive vibes
xoxo
means so much to me milomazli. thank you for such kind and encouraging words. i was talking to one of the producers yesterday saying 'we are going to places all over the world. new countries almost every month.' it means so much that i'm a part of your healthy discussion. thank you for posting a wonderful comment to start my day. i'm so grateful for people like you who comment watch and value our efforts. thank you my friend.
I wish my boyfriend and i can communicate that way through samuel's videos, ive sent him some and he just dismisses them, i dont even know if he watches the videos i send him but clear communication as great as your example would help us so much, but he wont 😔
Rick was right, Sam. Your honesty is courageous because you’re willing to openly face yourself and change your relationships. That power is alchemy. It’s the magic of transformation. You wear it well raw.
People see that for you it was possible and become open to doing what you have done to change their own relationships as well. Because you were willing to do it and it had a positive affect on you and the other people might be scared of doing it because once it’s out there it’s 50 / 50 whether it’s positive or not.
Your success illustrates that a 50/50 chance of saving their marriage or salvaging integrity in their relationships is better than a 0 / 100% chance of acting like a selfish bunghole the rest of their adult lives and turning real responsible grown-ups off.
Sure, you can keep acting that way, but don’t be surprise in a year or 3 if the people around you have gone or been replaced by less mature, less reliable, less caring, less compassionate individuals, or a lifestyle that may be cruel, cold, or indifferent to your suffering.
Because we get what we give.
You give ‘em hell… you’re gonna get it back.
Why go through all that.
You at least have a 50% chance in honesty even if not reconciliation, but in gritty honesty, to regain your composure now that it’s lost, and perhaps to re-earn the respect of fellowships that are likely to be more beneficial to you than detrimental.
Because the wisdom of maturity doesn’t judge. It understands the challenge you face and reaches in a hand to your darkest place. To pull you up. To regain your grace.
This is your chance, Cheaters. Which path you gonna take?
Wow. I usually don’t read long comments but this was so beautifully written. I’m part of the betrayed. It’s helpful to see the other side of things.
It's NOT a mistake, It's a CHOICE. 'Mistake' implies blamelessness.
Little children make mistakes big people don't make mistakes big people make choices
Thank you for your openness and honesty as the unfaithful.
very welcome my friend. thank you for watching and posting.
Remember this, you can't take care of anyone until you take care of yourself. YOU COME FIRST
Thank you for this. Because with or without the person the pain still exists.
you're very welcome. thank you for watching my friend
Thank you Samuel, wow you explained it perfectly. I am 10 months post D-Day. I am the unfaithful and still grappling with the mixed emotions on different days. Being a woman who was unfaithful there are times during the month when self loathe is much more. I really appreciate this and you most definitely are more valuable today, especially to people like me who have made a mistake. Keep it up!
thanks for your kind words. so glad i could help and support you during this time. i know it's tough, but there is new life on the other side.
tomcat any suggestions on how to have my wife fully disclose on her multiple affiars? Thanks in advance
God help me. This was meant for me to hear today. I feel so stupid.
Hey thanks for doing this. I had an emotional affair with secret converstions and mild cuddling and my husband is devastated. I appreciate your humility and I feel less awful and alone in my guilt after listening to you.
Your info has helped me immensely as the betrayed. That guy was right! Thank you!
Been there and next hour been......yep. Pretty much nailed it sammy. Thank you and all of affair recovery for these mini you tube sessions. Setiously, mahalos. Ill make a conscious effort to comment more, although, i am not the most faithful evidently😓😬😲😵😱😈👿😤😧 .....
thanks Dylan for watching and commenting my friend. means a ton. take care and have a great day.
More helpful more impactful! Truth....
can u be my mentor? pls
You had a complete collapse of the ego.
Samuel I'm the cheater. I had an emotional affair as well as a one time sexual encounter with a co worker. Both married. He made me alot of promises for a future. But when his wife found out he dropped me like a hot potato. I'm back with my very forgiving and loving husband but am heartbroken over ap rejection. Any advice
Repent and be grateful that your husband still loves you. Leave this married man ALONE
victory iswon YES!!!!!
Kudos to you for actually being brave enough to admit your mistakes and trying to make them right. Humility goes a long way.