Is this how advanced education of women destroys marriages? - The Wicked Edition episode 268
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- Опубликовано: 10 фев 2025
- Dr. King'ori sits with Jacob Aliet, an author and Manosphere coach, Njeri Wa Migwi, founder of the Usikimye Organisation for a fiery debate on gender roles. #TheWickedEdition.
/ dr_kingori
/ kingoridr 
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Such a great conversion! Jacob explains modernity very well in regards to what women want in men.
I am a highly educated and well read woman. My father taught me to be that way and expect that my man will be the one to help me grow my intellect. Men need to be bigger, women do not need to be made smaller. I graduated university and advanced in my career and guess what my husband did? Went back to university and will be graduating this December. With every course he takes, our talks grow and grow. We discuss economics, philosophy, politics, etc. And he brings me knowledge that I did not know. Perspectives I had not considered. I adore it! He does not fear my intellect, he meets it and nurtures it. Find you a big man with big intellect that is not afraid of you. Never make yourself smaller because your man can't handle it. I am blessed to have a husband who loves me, mind body and spirit.
Awesome!! Yes!
their can't be 2 kings or 2 C.E.O's in acompany if yes you've got the education and all that but if you don't submit 💯 he will leave you for another woman haezi jistress kukuja nyumbani kupata ndume mwenzake kwa nyumba
@@binivlog3700 hii submission wataka sana what does it entail?
You can parrot all you want but you can't change what men are attracted to, we love women who are quite and not boss babes, your man is a simp tolareting for now, cos he has a mpango wakando somewhere
He is not alpha male. You want a partner not someone to submit to
Njeri came ready to drag Jacob Alliet into a gender war which he maturely avoided. Points very well articulated. Next time,get him a better feminist.
Jacob is really intelligent
In less than 5 minutes into the interview, her facial expressions and interjections sells her out. She must be a toxic human.
Gender is a social construct. Which means Jacob is already in a gender war by deciding to come on live TV to discuss the "roles" of men and women in society. There's truth to what he says, there are total misconceptions and there are also debatable points he has. All are a matter of perspective. The question is how flexible is your perspective? Are women willing to step into the men's shoes for a moment and try to understand them? And is the opposite also possible?
@@sonikariuki1884so they no genders?
Marriage isn’t competition, marriage is a serious covenant with God, many don’t understand spiritually why they are married,
But women have made it a competition
Marriage is basically an institution with a purpose and roles ...
Totally agree with Jacob. Men need to lead from the front, be proactive and everything else will fall in place naturally. Hats off to Jacob.
Jacob Aliet. Respect. 👏👏👏
This man is way above wise. I need to get that book of his. Anyone who can link me up. Kindly.
I love the way Jacob puts out his points, sounds very educated and exposed
Yes babies who bond with the mothers during breastfeeding turn out better...tactile(touch) is important in the first five years...
the world empowered women, but forgot to teach men how to live with these empowered women.
No the problem is radical and Maxist feminist. They wants equality but not accountability.
Great conservation, good augment especially from Jacob Aliet not taking any sides respect
The lady's facials (25:04) are everything I would run away from on a woman. That is the highest form of disrespect anyone could ever get but what do we say? Women empowerment all the way. I think as we continue to empower women to disrespect men and other women (who they view as lesser beings to them) in society. Women like this should be empowered to stay alone. Damn it!
I noticed too
I also noticed this,in the end it painted a hurting being...
Western culture brain washin women,
Very disillusioned lady misleadin the kenyan women
🤣
The way most women are out profiling men leaves me wondering if they are assuming that their sons will never grow into men some day.
He is right. Our society needs to do better and raise better men.. or else our daughters won’t have anyone to marry.. as for our lady, I love to listen to her usually she is very inspiring.. lakini leo was just…..
Likes for Jacob. This guy is full of knowledge. Huyu Njeri ni facial expressions na make up tu
I'm a feminist too, but this one ametuangusha. Completely clueless
@@Anna-qf6ed me too am a feminist and humanist but huyu njeri she wants just to argue and does not listen to jacob..actuallly i agree to jacobs idea 97% only abit i was sceptical
@@priscaooko4626 clueless wounded woman, this one can't empower no one,I would hate to engage her one on one
She came unprepared, she is feminist patriarchy activist. Co-parenting is not a competition ' there is some chores which are meant for each parent base on gender. Companionship , respect, love, Compassion, gratitude and generosity is the pillar of Happy Family. Is not what a man can do a woman can do too or better.
There is a very big difference in bottle feeding and breastfeeding. The latter which is a form of kangaroo care is the gold standard and all efforts must be made to practice it for the following reasons:
1. The baby's temperature is regulated when the mother is holding her baby
2. The bonding stimulates more milk production and thus issues of inadequate milk are not an issue
3. Less risk of infection to the baby coz they get commensal bacteria from mother's skin
4. Baby who are breast fed gain weight faster and thus better development.
Perhaps @dr Kingori you should invite me one of these fine days to talk about this matter as a medic
Mkubwa, hizi zako zote ni facts tupu, and no one can argue with any!
But this we can only do with you here; if you go into an argument with this Njeri over these very facts, you will lose!
I hope you saw how Martha Karua lost in a mud-fight with Rigathi Gachagua. I mean, she was bound to lose, ama..???
@@johntabu true quality debate needs the opponents to have basic knowledge on fundamental issues. Hapo kwa Rigathi I beg to differ, the expectations were so low that anything Rigathi did would just be a plus on his side. Even so the stature maintained by Martha was typical of the legend she is.
Steve real medic
@Steve, on Martha and Gachagua, she had no chance coz hata wewe if you engage with a pig in a mud-fight, surely you will lose. That is what I meant.
How this convo shifted from breast milk to Politics 🤣
I think the choice of words is also important when it comes to feminine references. You can use words like expressing breast milk instead of "Kujikamua".
This was a one-sided debate because the lady was clueless.
Sure. She is uninformed completely. Ana argue the street argument, kama mmama kwa chama 🤣
Submission comes naturally, you can't force a woman to submit to you.
A woman can't force a man to marry her either.
A woman can't also force a man to be a provider for her.
It's simple; women are driven by an inherent desire for adventure and mystery. Nothing bores a woman faster than monotony The only way to keep a woman fully occupied in a long-term relationship is to constantly provide adventure and remain mysterious. Always keep her in a state of discovering you. Never let a woman fully understand you. Once she does, she gets bored.
Why spend so much energy trying to entertain another human?
This unreasonable expectations are causing unrealistic problems
Akitaka kuishia aishie
The relationship should be a team, where each member contributes at what their strengths are.
Those women end up alone and bitter, turning them into the classical modern feminist :,)
@@am-fq8lz it's the mating game. No one is forced to play. You play or get played nonetheless
@@Scott-on-the-Beach that realisation only comes to women once they've lost their sexual market value.
Nope. Just be a man. She'll follow. Remember, only a feminine, loyal humble woman can be a wife you're proud of. Hizi nyang'au zingine wachia streets.
This are the type of women uncle Kiffe talks about, we can never be the same mama. Own your place in the relationship and get over that entitled self. Stop trying to spread that negative energy to the unmarried women and remember marriage doesn't solve our problems.
If u like kibe then search for Andrew tate u will adore him.....
If you get advice from an unmarried man about marriage, you're the fool.
@@teejayangel6638 and when you get it from a divorced woman you are wise, mhhh this life needs a balance ⚖️
@@simonmakacha5810 Nice one G. Double standards
@@martinez1461 👊👊
I like Jacob's explanation of modern day Kenyan men, yes they've become weak due to poor parenting. Poor parenting of the boy child because of absentee fathers.
It's women who have made their son weak. They want to raise them alone
absentee fathers or domineering mothers?
Absentee Fathers is caused by the women?
Kenyan men are not weak we are actually getting stronger we are adapting for the best
The women have become overly entitled
She missed the joke about Kula dame wa kazi, always hilarious
As long as single mothers are raising men ,,we shall always have weak men
I think these are tough serious times spiritually and women have deeper concerns with men that’s not yet understood
10:56 Denno was just chilling🤣🤣🤣🤣
I think respect, good bonding, and have an outlook on your future together to work as a team should automatically eliminate this competition superiority in marriages. Good Communication is essential from the very beginning of a relationship
Nikioa huyu atakonda na nusu saa juu ya vibare 🙌🏽
This one is an example of modern chaotic woman...
😂😂😂😂😂
This is actually a 1 man's show. Jacob is giving facts but Lady is just countering without giving her side of the Story. Kudos 👍👍 Jacob soft spoken and precise.
Naona Njeri amewasha wanaume wengi 😂😂😂 men don't want to accept that women are walking out of loveless marriages very easily.
Nooo.women can walk if it is loveless or abusive.we are furious koz she thinks women are better than men and full of options.!
@@rileyhigz1 but if a woman leaves, the man is exposed to more options and can even find a better woman than the one he had! So the same applies to women, she can get a better man and she will probably have more options as a single woman. Nothing wrong with that!!
@@catem8752 u used CAN because its not a sure thing
@@rileyhigz1 does that matter? The point is that we both have the freedom to pursue whatever we want.
@@catem8752 that i agree.but each gender has its role AT HOME.she is giving wrong advice
Njeri you look AMAZING!!😍🤩
What we need to do as men is not to complain but pull up our socks so that our women can get the men the deserve for a stable family
who told them they are the lady we deserve? i can not pull up my socks only to end up with a kunguru ambae hafugiki. remeber this is my life and my wealth am putting on the frontline. the kids will look up to me. wacha nikae kivyangu kwanza.
Boss, hata hizo socks ziko na limits, priiiissss...!! You cannot pull them beyond a certain point, especially just to keep the other person happy. Go easy on the boy child, man...!! He is already dealing with enough!
socks itararuka jameni😅
Upbringing has become a terrible mess so far starting with those brought up without father figures. In the next 30 years, there will be no marriage/families, only single mothers doing their things & calling men 🐕out there & free men enjoying life & making more babies 🕺
So your whole existence is to mate and make children, a rat even dog does a better job. They make even 16 babies at a go. You are not a man you are just a male species.
Only in Kenya. Other men in other countries are thriving, so guess what, Kenyan women will look beyond their borders , it's already happening.
@@teejayangel6638 its baffling how short sited you are!!!!!
If so, why do the fathers educate their daughters? There is something they know about the advantage of an empowered woman not to be pushed over because they are lacking in any way. I believe in being empowered and my Husband is and will always be doing everything to push me forward because he is a winning man creating room for me to succeed as his wife. He is a whole healed man. Meanwhile the uneducated less empowered women leave marriages too with little help to stabilise themselves.
I think the main problem is when one is empowered yet acts as a victim needing help. That's why he said, "the young boys are falling behind," yet we are still talking of women empowerment.
@Leillah Wawuda. I completely agree.I love the fact that you stated “a whole healed man”. I am currently married and my husband is my greatest cheerleader. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without him. So if someone thinks that empowering women is actually a disadvantage, they should talk for themselves, because there are amazing men out here that always want to bring out the best versions of their partners.
Do we need to empower only girls and we forget about boys?
@@Danformulas where did girls and boys empowerment come from? I am addressing the caption for this given video. A woman’s progressiveness and education in relation to marriage.
@@brendahyunia9728 they mentioned about boy and girl child empowerment. Why focus on girls only?
Trouble is,the heart is not so smart so goes a song...regardless of education.
Mnaongea mingi bure. The problem is marriage itself. Not the man not the woman not money not children not anything else. Erase marriage and all these issues will disappear.
Seems like u been listening to Andrew tate .....
@@lynnkesh254 kali bana,🔥🌡️
@@simongithuku7382 what's kali?
Wajackoya the 5th
😂😂😂.marriage is not for everyone
When you get into a conversation with a woman who does not speak logically...you just speak your logic and get tf out of that place...Anaeza anza kulia buana...feelings manyeee
That's what I have noticed. The lady is too emotional.
i like how she reacts to facts...
Her thinking represents most women I have interacted with. Victim mentality (and the need to free herself). Sadly that rarely works. I hope she realises before it is too late. A woman is inclined to act emotionally and this is why every woman needs a father/masculine figure to enforce logic so as to keep emotions under control. Else, her life gets chaotic like the way this woman has all emotional reactions with negligible logic. And it is logic that brings order and progress.
Victim. Mentality 😃😃😃😃
It's already too late for her.
I noticed that a majority of BW don’t want to take Authority from a BM. But they will definitely take it from a WM, because WM let BW be out of order and let them express themselves. But only a sucka would do that. They want a masculine man, but don’t want to be lead by a masculine man 🤦🏾♂️
I hate when a woman asks a quiz and when u start to answer she ask another before you Finnish the explanation.. at that point I stop and asks her to continue
😂😂
Daktari usiwahi leta huyu mama hapa please. We need these debates on the basis of logic and facts not emotions and rumours.
😂😂😂
This was deep but our lady wasn't the best match for Jacob. He's way too deep as compared to her arguments...good conversation though! Keep up the good work Doctari
Ni maringo ako nayo😡😡😡
@@rileyhigz1 am a woman too but this lady ametuangusha..maybe if angeweka feelings mbali tungemwelea
@@priscaooko4626 si feelins.she just thinks women are better and more important than men.no gender is better
No happiness comes from within it's a choice you make for yourself...it's not a reward nothing can achieve happiness.. choose happiness everyday despite our adversity in life .
If happiness was a choice we wouldn't have unhappy people.
@@cyruskioko7871we have unhappy people because they have decided to build on unhappy moments more .. you're mind is strong tool you either choose life or death.
@@cyruskioko7871 say that again please so it sinks, its just a matter of understanding simple things in life yet people choose to compilicate it
happiness just like laugher aint a choice. unless u a mad person u cant just be happy always. no one chooses to loose their loved ones, no one chooses a bully for a wife/husband, no one chooses safe/bad journeys in life. today u think u mad a good choice tomorrow u start regreting. life aint as simple as u trying to put it but we deal with it.
@@stafabenjamin okay. If it’s not a choice, is it given?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 huyu Dem SI wakuolewa piga miti wachana naye
"Kwani unazaa every month"😂😂
The guy came with content
his facebook account is a goldmine of content. His book is the Nairobi best seller currently
Allow me to screenshot this.
Let's follow the rules of nature. I wish to be one of the panelists, feeling like teaching you how nature works
we're not wild animals- we're intellects
Then give birth using your brain
@@yakzivz1104 and that is what separates us from the wild animals... otherwise we are animals...
My all time sentiments, nature. Whenever we go against it, we break
@@inspireme5329 Yes we are just more developed but we are animals. We die like animals, we have Survival instincts like animals, we reproduce like animals
Values should not be BASED ON EARNINGS.
Education in MORALITY INTEGRITY EMPATHY,Teaching children love 💕 respect responsibility cleaning skills in home, Agricultural communication FAMILY VALUES. Is Of more significance than Money
Wrong. It has nothing to do with money. It is sharing responsibilities 50/50.
Value is not about money.
If irrelevance was a person ,its that lady
May God have mercy on the soul of the man dating this feminist.
she is a good soul.Moved out of a toxic marriage one year AGO.I guess she is healing.
@@ZackTechVenturessounds like a woman
So people say when you have MONEY and POWER you'll will keep women. I bet to disagree
As a woman now raising boys,i was brought up among men,i feel so angry looking at Njeri disrespect or is it looking down on Jacob rolling her eyes infuriates me!!Let our boys and men be empowered its not always about chauvinism,but just letting our men be the kings they are sio kila mwanaume ni mbaya kama vile not every woman is good!
This feels like a mismatched debate. This woman is arguing with a lot of assumptions. When our African woman forget the value, strength and influence, they have as a woman issssa problem. Trying to be a man leaves a massive vacuum of the woman. Measuring your value using a man is a great disservice to yourself and the man. Mwenye aliwadanganya your power as a woman is being like a man aliwakosea. When a man marries a woman, your different strengths should add up to a strong team. But for some reason the current belief is that the role of the woman is inferior so you strive to be a better man. It is a lie. The woman has always been a strong. We are equal but we are not the same. A plate and a cup are equally important at the dinner table even though the serve very different roles. Just because you can drink from your plate doesn't mean it was meant for that purpose
Good explanation broo
👊tell them!!
Nobody wants to be a man.. we only ask for the same respect and opportunities men get.. THE SAME RESPECT EVERY HUMAN BEING IS AWARDED, FOR THE BARE MINIMUM.. I don't want to be treated less because i am "a woman".. that's the point men seem not to understand no matter how this is explained..
You don't know how to deal with women because somehow you think you deserve more just for having a penis between your legs and not a vagina... We are not the same because of our biological differences but we are all human...
@@gracesereyah7479 tell who? And tell them what exactly.?
Huyu akiwa bibi yako wewe tafuta dawa za pressure mapema
Very true, maybe she's single
@@maishjunior4651 i think bwanake alikua anamwona war wakaachana huyu hadi adedi hana haja na mwanaume
Let's deal with the genders in Kenya 🇰🇪 😀 😄 🤣 😂 😆 😄 🤣 😂 😆
The society is busy empowering women but it forgets to teach men how to live with empowered women
I believe that all this boils down to why you're getting educated. If you're getting educated just for the sake of competing with men, you should just quit. The purpose of education is to equip you with skills to solve a niche to survive. Education has never been masculine or feminine. It's only necessary. There are things far above education. Jacob mentioned purpose for example and value. Being a woman, feminism is the worst thing that happened to us because it's motives only lie in power games with men and not for the better position of women's role.
Education enables us to make informed independent decisions as opposed to living up to societal expectations. Feminism empowered women and enabled them to be whatever they want to be. Our great grandmothers didn’t have options. They were raised purely for marriage and so the marriage had to work, no matter what. In a patriarchal society, nobody has told men how to handle the modern educated woman and that’s why marriages are failing. Feminism does not hate marriages. It’s the men who need to step up to handle a modern woman instead of posting on social media how they miss or want wives like their mothers. Did their mothers tell them that they enjoyed the wifey slavery and enduring GBV? No. The author in this show has tried articulating that it’s now the duty of the man to evolve and stop asking ‘uyu ataolewa na nani?’ Like we are supposed to make ourselves smaller and lesser so as to be marriageable 🤷♀️🤷♀️
@@thesereti This is actually an excellent point. I believe they should have picked you for the discussion instead. All I'm saying is that nowadays I feel that feminism has become war against men. Feminism has become toxic even for women themselves. I think it's ideals have been changing over time to get to this point. And yes of course men need to step up to the reality. The lady in the video had zero points according to me. Besides, nothing's wrong with being hospitable or kind to someone you're in marriage with. She's making it look like cooking and cleaning is some sort of slavery. They're skills that you literally can't do without. Even if you're not married you still have to do chores.
@@lilianwanjohi2631 I am in agreement with you. The issue with human relationships is that they are all different. And when someone like Njeri speaks for feminism , it should be noted that she speaks from a personal experience or people close to her or the victims of GBV that she rescues. I have heard her story . There is no one size fit all when discussing relationships. When something is said without context, it’s interpreted differently by people depending on a lot of things like personal experiences. The feminism I subscribe to doesn’t hate men. It’s the kind that gives women the same opportunities to us women just like men as long as one can compete. This feminism of us having women in parliament just because women needs representation I don’t understand. I want everyone, regardless of the gender, to earn stuff, as long as there is a level playing ground.
@@thesereti I think now we're on the same ground. I didn't know about the lady in the video and I'm probably wrong and stand corrected. Women are always valuable
🤔..For all genders to get along...Peace love $ Harmony
The lady is just blubbing and advocating feminism tendency...how do we sanitise marriages with such mentality.Jacob good job you understood the assignment
The woman is Silly, simple. That guy has points.
I have no good education 😕 where are this hubby 😢
😂😂
Pin location
Define good education😏.
We want English lyrics for those of us who don't understand Swahili
Basically patriarchy has screwed both genders over; however, the male race does not want to let it go because of their egos.
men were created to provide, and women were created to submit to a man. so if we let go of that how many men do you think will sit and wait for a woman to feed them? number two how many women do you think will agree to undertake the providing role? let patriarchy be. Everyone should know their role in the society
@@edwinmurimi5942 You completely oversimplified society as well as both genders. Getting rid of patriarchy does not mean that women will stop feeding their husbands and be the financial providers for the family. LOL We are making things way more complicated than they need to be. Whenever a woman and a man truly cares for someone, she/he will make sure that her/his significant other will be fed and have a safe place to live. Women and men do not need any special instructions to tell them how to take care of each other. We were doing just fine way before patriarchy came into existence. Also women were not created to submit to a man- this is a false teaching by patriarchy.
@@edwinmurimi5942 everyone should know their role in society, void of abuse! All roles are equally important and difficult
Njeri Nguruwe tu
Njeri has alot of points....
Education has got nothing to do with failing marriages.
If there's Not submissiveness ,no peace in the 🏘️. submissive comes from being treated right with respect and shown value.
hii kanairo msichana akisubmit labda uko na dooh😂
definition of 'right treatment' depends on the amount of money a man has. Women make rules only for broke guys
@@Ndondiafrika254 its not a man's fault if a woman in materialistic.and man with money are never home and can be emotional abusive.
Right treatment is to be kind to someone and respectful
What is this respect you lady keep on telling us?
Uyo mama ako na manyiraa:(
their can't be 2 kings or 2 C.E.O's in acompany if yes you've got the education and all that but if you don't submit 💯 he will leave you for another woman haezi jistress kukuja nyumbani kupata ndume mwenzake kwa nyumba alafu unaanza kulalamika men are trush you choose to read get all that education and be empoword why should l choose to stay with you pia mm niko na options
am failing to understand her arguments anyway she deserves to stay alone and any woman who thinks like her deserve to stay alone
😂✌true
for the case of the billionaires like Elon musk this people work extra than an average person which inturn means less time with family and more time in business ,which most of us arent willing to sacrifice
Ambie uyo dame awnde front line war ama awnde kuchange wire transformer
Poor parenting has resulted to children growing up without knowing the role of men and women in marriages. Also some parents thinks that growing up a child is just providing them food, cloths, school fees and toys!!! They don't understand children needs to see role of men and women, those children without fathers or mothers needs to be taken either to uncles or aunts or any guardian of their opposite sex for a while eg when they close schools to learn ABC......Otherwise they will grow just bodily and age but psychologically they are having shortage of something
The lady came with Zero knowledge about the topic,Muchene tu ya ploti🤣🤣🤣
True.clueless muchene ya ploti tupu
The lady is better being in the"real kawangware house helps"episode
btw LAWS AND RIGHTS were not made to suite all genders they were made to tame men in a society
someone please tell this lady no one forces anyone to have kids, get married, do house/home duties for a man as she puts it. its a free world if u cant submitt to a man to be your partner stay single or get you another lady for yourself en be the ''man"' in the house
Why women view giving birth as task which men should also give birth .we are abled differently in anotomy.They bring their strength as war to marriage instead of an advantage.
Madam una kiherehere mbaya
At this moment i understand why some cultures back then never encouraged women education since once they become educated, respect is lost.....
wewe usisomeshe wako..just llike there are educated men with stone age mentality...do not accuse all educated women..huyo njeri has bad reasoning
Huyo leady ame jiwhitene lakini elbow ikaamua black me nah mi change
Jacob was looking at her like...🙄
alikua na point until aka guza beer na football, saa mbona?
umesema tukule dem wa job.. I mean food ya dem wa job?
Something is not right with the set up and background wakuu, kindly check
Fear women
so Njeri expects us to pay for responsibilities that's primarily their role😂
Dr. Kingori you need to contextualize and split it into different episodes, otherwise it will never work.🙏🙏
Vita ya wanawake na wanaume. Mnapiganianga nini? Hatuezi ishi tu?
I agree with the man's view
Ati mtoi amejihung na cables za speaker na mama hana shughuli anapiga tu mushene huko lol ati kwani mnazaa every month kama panya nginyo itawamaliza lol
basi sii lazima mandume kuwaowa wanawake wacha ndume ikae pekeyake si inaeza kusurvive na chakula ya kibanda soon l think men will invent a way of getting babies without this women then l wish I'll be alive to see who will want the other without mens protection women won't survive that's why when their is war women are called the spoils of war its sad that this world is so much safe that women forget and can go on raise their hands on men and forget the carnage a man is capable of
This conversation is confused, like what really are the questions
stop being a narcissist
Huyo dame anadanganya madem wenzake eti options men wote wanaongea lugha moja whether kina degree or not and the guy is right the boychild is still in neglect
We can also learn from animals...natures speaks
the man is speaking the truth,this woman has no argument bolt in her head
Huyu ni yule mama niliona kwa Lynn ngugi show akilia?
Yes 🤣🤣🤣 Kumbe wanakuwakiherehere ndo wanachaoangwa then wanaenda kulia kwa Lynn 🤣🤣
@@mesmerickenya2690 at least sio mimi pekee naona two different characters. In the story there is some hidden truth from the husband also
Tje guy is spitting sence kama bullets
Am quite sure Jacob aliet wasn't understanding that lady ifelt she was complaining