ISTJ and ENFP Relationship

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  • Опубликовано: 4 фев 2025

Комментарии • 93

  • @natashanorris650
    @natashanorris650 5 лет назад +97

    I’m the ENFP 🤩 and the husband of eight years is the ISTJ 🤔.
    The map analogy is SO on point! The first two years of our marriage were really difficult- “he never wants to have fun” 😩 - “she never gets things done on time or correctly” 😤
    However once we saw each other’s flaws exactly as they were things got a little better.
    Year eight anniversary was last month- and I think we’ve finally reached a place where we are appropriately choosing to focus on the good things in each other. “He’s so accomplished. I’m lucky he desires to provide for me.” 🥰 - “She’s always optimistic even though she’s aware life is hard.” 😌
    🤞🏼 Hoping for another frustrating/wonderful eight years. 😁

    • @GeekPsychology
      @GeekPsychology  5 лет назад +12

      Thanks for sharing!!
      I’m sure it’s hard sometimes, but there are always good things in every situation if you’re both willing to look for them :)
      I wish you both a lot of growth and learning :)

    • @gabipuglie
      @gabipuglie 5 лет назад +6

      NaTasha Norris Thank you so much for sharing this! I have been married for a year and a half and the more I study ENFP-ISTJ personalities, the more I get scared, hahaha. It was great to hear your story :) Congratulations for 8 years together! ♥️

    • @solmartinez137
      @solmartinez137 4 года назад +4

      This gives me hope for my current relationship❤️

    • @ruthielalastor2209
      @ruthielalastor2209 3 года назад +1

      This is so beautiful.

    • @mizaavanti
      @mizaavanti 3 года назад +1

      that sounds so beautiful 😭

  • @OXGiaNinaXO
    @OXGiaNinaXO 4 года назад +50

    ENFP wife here and I watched this with my ISTJ husband. This was like marriage counseling 😅 thank you so much

    • @nensi5813
      @nensi5813 3 года назад +3

      Omg how do you handle that?! I am enfp and find st people so annoying

    • @asmaqonita8938
      @asmaqonita8938 3 года назад

      Yes, and I think so😂

  • @LoneStarPlannerGirl
    @LoneStarPlannerGirl 5 лет назад +57

    ISTJ female here married 15 years so far to an ENFP male. The first couple of years were definitely a hard learning journey but once we figured out how to make it work we wouldn’t trade it for another match. We are the perfect complement for one another, my weaknesses are his strengths and vice versa. We balance one another out really well... we like to say he lives with his head in the clouds but I’m the tether that keeps him anchored and from drifting away completely. I don’t hold him down to the ground or stifle him... I just keep him attached to reality lol! And he has helped me learn how to let go a little and learn to enjoy life without planning down to every tiny detail all the time. If both people are willing to put in equal amounts of work and compromise, I think it’s the perfect match :)

    • @melodyireland2716
      @melodyireland2716 3 года назад +2

      Love this! Wishing you and your husband all the best!

  • @Rachelle_Creates
    @Rachelle_Creates 4 года назад +23

    My husband is an ISTJ and I’m the ENFP we’ve been married for 15 years and this was our journey. Understand his need for stability and my need for adventure has been so great. I love how stable and organized he is.

  • @persephone6896
    @persephone6896 5 лет назад +44

    My twin flame is an ISTJ.
    We’re polar opposites. It takes a lot of maturity for ISTJ+ENFP to work but when it does work, it can be the ideal partnership. Thank you 🙏

    • @aminamohammedi4052
      @aminamohammedi4052 4 года назад

      Did it work after all? Plz I need to know coz I m struggling so much my my istj partner

  • @rileyearl1
    @rileyearl1 4 года назад +27

    I'm an ENFP. I've been seeing an ISTJ for almost a year. I frequently ask him to run away with me. He always replies that someone has to be an adult here. We are both in our late 60s. As someone who lives in the infinite possibilities, I think your discussion was spot on!

  • @4ntt0n
    @4ntt0n 4 года назад +23

    I as an ENFP and my ISTJ husband are the complete opposites of each other. We also come from different cultures, so I can tell you that it is not easy, not that it's supposed to be easy, but be patient. Finally, you will end up finding yourself in the most loving and caring relationship you can imagine. He/she as an ISTJ won't take care only of you, but of your loved ones also. It requires effort from an ENFP point of view, but I cannot ask for a more loyal, loving, providing, caring partner than ISTJ. After two years we have been able to fulfill each other, his weakness is my strength and vice versa. ENFP's be patient with your ISTJ loved ones. They are worth it!
    PS. ISTJ'ss listen, don't judge, ENFP's are emotional and sees everything from a larger perspective. Be patient.
    PSS: ENFP's listen, agree, and follow the plan you agreed. ISTJ's are rational and tend to follow the plans.

  • @er6730
    @er6730 5 лет назад +41

    ENFP here. My best friend is ISTJ! It's so nice, she's always available when I want to suddenly drop by. And I've learned so much about daily routines from her -"wait, so... you wash the dishes every night?" "And then they don't pile up? This is an amazing concept, I'm going to do that, too!" And she likes my encouraging approach to just making things even if we don't really know how to do it. Failure is not a fear of mine and she likes that. We make an excellent team, especially when it comes to rounding up friends to have a party. We make a plan together, then she works out the details like reservations and parking, and I whip up some excitement so everyone wants to go, and then we have fun! I think we admire each other, which makes good friends.

  • @RUWize
    @RUWize 5 лет назад +26

    I an ENFP my husband of 22 years is an ISTJ. His strengths are my weakness, and my strengths are his weakness. Although we are polar opposites and are constantly locking horns, we also compliment each other well. Marriage is a journey, I’ve found over the years we both have given a little and some of his traits are rubbing off on me and vice versa with him.

    • @sofitocyn100
      @sofitocyn100 3 года назад +1

      you are polar opposites, not bipolar opposites ^^

    • @RUWize
      @RUWize 3 года назад +1

      @@sofitocyn100 🤣🤣🤣, thank you, corrected must have been a autocorrect thing. Had my laugh for the day!

    • @RUWize
      @RUWize 3 года назад +1

      @@sofitocyn100 🤣🤣🤣 thanks for catching my typo, I’ll blame speech to text...had my laugh for the day.

  • @zhenqiangying2708
    @zhenqiangying2708 Год назад +2

    🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
    00:00 🤔 *Intro to ISTJ and ENFP Relationship*
    - Overview and struggles in ISTJ-ENFP relationships.
    02:09 🌌 *Desires of ISTJ and ENFP*
    - ENFP desires spontaneity; ISTJ seeks stability, creating a push-and-pull dynamic.
    04:20 🤹 *Struggle: Freedom vs. Structure*
    - ENFP resists restriction; ISTJ emphasizes stability with potential consequences.
    07:37 🎭 *Cognitive Functions and Opposites*
    - Both share cognitive functions with different priorities and deep-down similarities.
    13:29 🔄 *Balancing and Compromising*
    - Acknowledging common desires; importance of compromising and finding balance.
    17:50 🔄 *Understanding and Growth*
    - Emphasizing self-understanding before seeking it from the partner; encouraging an open mind and personal growth.
    19:24 🛠️ *Self-Improvement and Role Modeling*
    - Importance of changing oneself, acknowledging limitations; encouragement for personal development and setting an example.
    Made with HARPA AI

  • @NyxieMayn
    @NyxieMayn 5 лет назад +12

    Thank you so much for this video I’m a enfp female and have a istj boyfriend, at times our relationship is really difficult as our way of thinking and approach is completely different. But after I have discovered mbti I am fascinated just how each personality work and accept the way they are, and I figured that I just have to explain to him why I do the things I do and explain myself in a “logical” way (not exploding with emotions) and I encouraged him to voice whats on his mind out loud when I don’t understand instead keeping it all inside lol. So far our relationship is going successfully-just have to constantly remind myself that we are different and not a personal attack

  • @dasytaylor
    @dasytaylor 5 лет назад +20

    oh yes, this is so good, i have and ISTJ/ENFP couple in one of my stories, thank you for this!

  • @silentgrove7670
    @silentgrove7670 5 лет назад +9

    I met two ISTJs and both were very likeable. I discovered the ISTJ because she was the wife of an ENFP I had recently spotted. I know another ENFP ISTJ marriage. I can see if the two have matured how having access to the inverted function stack would be useful. ISTJ I bet can really get things done probably cannot see a big picture like an ENFP can. They would have to super trust the other and defer in the most open manner.
    Incidentally you are a very effect speaker and a very lovely person. Women must adore you.

  • @valzugg
    @valzugg 5 лет назад +14

    Its a really cute pairing i think. I like what you said near the end about the importance of understanding others and seeing them like an alien at first sort of. Its just really sad how easy it is to misunderstand and brush it off when communicating, or to miss an important shared aspect with another person, oh infp things.

    • @GeekPsychology
      @GeekPsychology  5 лет назад +2

      Thanks for the comment!
      Yeah, I try to sprinkle bits of universally applicable help in when I can :D

  • @blackbird_actual
    @blackbird_actual 5 лет назад +6

    I love your comment about the ISTJ's internal 'strategic commander' which helps us work up the courage to do things which we see as being a bit too far out of our comfort zone, but will help us in the long run. The character that shows you the roadmap to success and always points out that "who dares wins".

  • @eesther9590
    @eesther9590 3 года назад +8

    Enfp me as a wife married with istj husband married 23 years,we been through hard times but we still together

  • @JujubeeDIY
    @JujubeeDIY 2 года назад +2

    I am an ENFP and going off of the long-term relationships in my life, the 1st one was an ENTJ and the 2nd was an ESTP, both were very turbulent relationships. I have been married to an ISTJ for 14 years and we have a very calm and easy-going relationship and life. He balances me just where I need it and helps me grow in areas where I lack. I do the same for him. It's been a very good match.

  • @rickwrites2612
    @rickwrites2612 3 года назад +5

    Fear of change can sometimes be a larger barrier to money than impulsivity. Imagine an ISTJ with a horrible job who is afraid to leave it because something new could be worse. I had to keep telling him "you can just apply for other jobs you know. If you don't like the salary etc you can try to negotiate or just keep looking. This isn't the Soviet Union."

  • @sofitocyn100
    @sofitocyn100 2 года назад +1

    I am the enfp female and he is the istj male. Whenever he smokes some weed (i dont), he becomes the best version of himself. Not stressed and simply relax and cool. It really takes maturity to work this pair out. My bf isn't home bound. The opposite: I am quite a home buddy and he is always out exploring nature. He just hates staying home and doing "nothing". Whereas I love doing nothing or something next to him. There is so much to say about this relationship. Let's say that it was never easy. It's a constant struggle to be honest. But he has never left me. Even though things are far from being perfect, we don't give up on each other. I think we need to find our pace.

  • @blove9415
    @blove9415 4 года назад +5

    Was in eight year relationship had to get out of it it’s draining my ENFP soul pretending for sake of time spent together

  • @rickwrites2612
    @rickwrites2612 3 года назад +4

    13 yr anniversary this month with my ISTJ partner (I'm ENFP).

  • @nicolaevans6478
    @nicolaevans6478 2 года назад

    Really helpful. I’m an ENFP female with an ISTJ boyfriend. We still haven’t found our true understanding of the other but what you said makes so much sense. Thank you

  • @mommyfinger2655
    @mommyfinger2655 5 лет назад +8

    Wow you just explained my marriage.

  • @M.Moadeli123
    @M.Moadeli123 5 лет назад +4

    Enfp here with an istj father who's my sole family with whom I also live with.
    We share the same sense of humour and communication is easy and kind of telepathic.
    I was previously with my conflictor, an istp, and through him I learnt what I want and don't want in a partner. I learnt what I expect my partner to be is pretty much istj like; reliable, dependable, loyal, devoted, honest, genuine, responsible, selfless etc. Leading me to realise istj is where the moneys at. My only gripe is they seem so slow and boring and unstimulating mentally and I don't seem attracted to them though they're meant to be what I desire. Either way I now have the maturity to know not to settle for what I'm attracted to but to instead go for an istj who possess all the qualities I need.

    • @jamontoast7467
      @jamontoast7467 2 года назад +1

      Maybe an intj...? From what I've heard, they seem to have a lot of the qualities you enjoy while being VERY mentally stimulating. Plus, they're the second most compatible for the ENFP. Maybe you could read up on that.

    • @jamontoast7467
      @jamontoast7467 2 года назад

      Here's a video for the INTJ-ENFP pairing: ruclips.net/video/PtWJ2yvr5fY/видео.html

  • @alistairproductions
    @alistairproductions 4 года назад +4

    I could listen to you all day , your voice is like music lol

  • @YaseenRocca
    @YaseenRocca 5 лет назад +5

    I'm a male ENFP who can be spontaneous and adventurous as you describe sometimes, but I'm also like some ISTXs (X representing flexibility) in rationality and calmness during problems while focusing on solutions and a way out. I can even try to somehow analyze and quantify some important decisions in my life, except for romantic decisions. I can even be "cold and calculated", let alone rational and pragmatic, sometimes. And yes, I am [positive] that I'm an ENFP. However, while an ISTX may probably be interested in solutions for scientific or mechanical problems, I'm interested in solutions for human-related problems, and that's what inspires my pragmatism and focus on solutions; I feel a sense of urgency to "save" humanity or save or help a few people, for example... by focusing on effective, real solutions for their problems. Another difference I have from some ENFP representations is that if something doesn't work out, like a project, I'm not like "Who cares?"; I actually care about the details and reasons, because I "want to learn from the mistakes." You mentioned something about that for ISTJs in your video, and I'm very much like this. I have great respect for ISTX personalities and pragmatism, and I especially envy the discipline of many of them! Discipline and consistency constitute such a huge challenge for me in life as an ENFP. One of the most fascinating personalities in history for me is Bruce Lee, whom I admire a lot, and he was an ISTP and a role model of discipline in at least some aspects of his life.
    I believe what I'm partially saying here is that our flexibility and adaptability as humans can make some of us acquire traits that are almost alien to who we are or who we originally were, like how I may be one of the extremely few ENFPs who care a lot about pragmatism and rationality, while still keeping spontaneity and spiritualism for their right places and times. I'm also saying that an ENFP can actually grow to realize that their spontaneity can actually be a major weakness sometimes and find themselves feeling deep respect, or even being in awe of a disciplined partner or friend, who may just be an ISTX. So differences can very much be reasons of strong attraction, and in many ways, one of which I've just mentioned.

    • @biankatardifboisvert1444
      @biankatardifboisvert1444 5 лет назад +4

      Exactly. It's my experience as an ENFP. I prefer acting like a ENFP, but... to move foward, I had to use a lot of IST traits even when they feel foreign.

    • @dmitrynedopyokin6411
      @dmitrynedopyokin6411 Год назад

      That is how I feel! Sometimes I can switch to ISTJ mode. I dont get how it works buy I saw one article on some ISTJ forum about the same issue.
      So I can feel myself as ISTJ. That really helps to understand these people :)

  • @christinaonestar9957
    @christinaonestar9957 3 года назад +1

    OK! I'm going out on a limb on this!
    I'm an Ambivert with both these MBTI Codes. My first one was my first experience in college 2008. My second experience in college 2018 i actually picked a major n psychology among other education interest. I'm still learning about my own personality with these specfic two, Very private & complex experience of my metamorphosis & reverse psychology of these specfic two MBTI CODE. I've been searching for videos on Ambivert with these specfic two. Your Video has been helpful.
    Thank you

  • @hawaiiguy12345
    @hawaiiguy12345 3 года назад +2

    ISTJ here. My relationship with an ENFP was a roller coaster ride! We crashed and burned out years ago and now she is reaching out to me after years. I don't know how to handle it as we are already having email conflicts. I'm here to figure this out as I'm so confused.

  • @mayorpeppy5730
    @mayorpeppy5730 5 лет назад +14

    yep, i think my best friend is an istj and i think i'm an enfp! i think i've brought out the ne in her and i think she's brought out the si in me haha

    • @GeekPsychology
      @GeekPsychology  5 лет назад +1

      Cool! It can be very helpful in the right mindset

  • @hellenmelati5980
    @hellenmelati5980 4 года назад +2

    It is helpful so much, thank you so much

  • @M.Moadeli123
    @M.Moadeli123 5 лет назад +2

    My strongest connections have been with infp and istj so far. Unfortunately the infp was very flighty and after 4 years of a strong soulful relationship just disappeared out of thin air without providing closure. It was however a very intense connection and I don't regret it as it was a spiritual soulful journey. He was my soul mate.

  • @aminamohammedi4052
    @aminamohammedi4052 4 года назад +5

    Ooooh my gosh " it sounds awful" hhhhhhh as an enfp I laughed so much coz I was thinking that lol
    I had a boyfriend istj we've been struggling for 6 yrs
    We love each other so much but it so hard to keep up together we separate every 2 months nd it's exhausting
    I don't know what to do anymore
    I broke up this time nd decided to never get back than I just realised that we were both ignorant about our personalities types nd that's what made it difficult to understand each other

  • @asmaqonita8938
    @asmaqonita8938 3 года назад +2

    I think these explanation ia good. Almost reflection my relationship with my ISTJ brother 😎

  • @niar3214
    @niar3214 2 года назад

    I think this was great. with enfps it’s not so much they are present that’s more extroverted sensing. For Ne, it’s more they are in their head or absent minded about the future so they don’t focus on past details

  • @M.Moadeli123
    @M.Moadeli123 5 лет назад +5

    Furthermore I have alot of istj colleagues at work, whom I've found I like dearly and they feel like family to me. They seem to get me and enjoy what I bring to the table also and aren't freaked out but enjoy my enfp Ness. Lol. I can be childish with them and they don't mind that.

  • @aminamohammedi4052
    @aminamohammedi4052 4 года назад +1

    Thank u so much, it was really hopeful
    Thank uuuuuuuu

  • @ainakunigelyte
    @ainakunigelyte 3 года назад

    I wish you would make this kind of video about ISTP and ENFJ, but I suppose I could use advice from this video too:)

  • @alistairproductions
    @alistairproductions 5 лет назад +2

    Was just thinking about this pairing

  • @jazmynmak9307
    @jazmynmak9307 4 года назад +9

    Mom's an ISTJ and dad's an ENFP.. it's a catastrophe..

    • @sofitocyn100
      @sofitocyn100 3 года назад

      what do you mean? Do they argue?

    • @jazmynmak9307
      @jazmynmak9307 3 года назад +1

      @@sofitocyn100 they don't see life from the same angle and they are nothing alike.. which often leads into a lot of misunderstandings and unnecessary fights that could easily be avoided if they only sat down for once to discuss things and hear each other out. An example: dad is a reckless person that basically goes abt life without ever planning anything beforehand, while mom is the opposite, she has to analyze every step before taking one to avoid trouble. Dad on the other hand ends up in many. Which creates neverending problems between the two..

  • @ashleyching7894
    @ashleyching7894 2 года назад +1

    Notes:
    ENFP - Seen as outlaw & wild
    ISTJ - Do as they should be done.

  • @lastminutewonder9602
    @lastminutewonder9602 3 года назад +1

    Enfp female 24 here single 😅. Just want to know are you taken 😘?

  • @jaredortega4937
    @jaredortega4937 4 года назад

    Hey what Mayo has A and B personality closes

  • @ezandmark
    @ezandmark 5 лет назад

    Any by chance can you post subtitles on your video?

  • @rickwrites2612
    @rickwrites2612 3 года назад +2

    The biggest disappointment I have in being with an ISTJ is that he doesn't want to build or explore imaginary worlds with me, which to me is the most special thing you to do with someone.

    • @toriwright3034
      @toriwright3034 Год назад

      imaginary worlds? is this sarcasm? I'm and ENFJ and this sounds insane.

  • @marjoriebengala5400
    @marjoriebengala5400 4 года назад

    How about ENFJ and ISTJ?

  • @axrf03
    @axrf03 2 года назад +1

    My wife it’s ISTJ and I’m a ENFP hehehehe

  • @alistairproductions
    @alistairproductions 5 лет назад +2

    I think I might be an enfp but I dint really have that “let’s go do something” type of thing. Or maybe I’m infp. But my feeling is so repressed I don’t see how that’d be possible. Maybe I’m enfp with phonic 6 in enneagram
    I think I might like getting with an ISTJ is she wasn’t bossy and if I’d let her teach me things without getting butthurt it implies I couldn’t do it
    Ever hear of ENFPs that don’t have a great feel for emotions? It’s to the extent that some ENFPs don’t remind be much of myself but I don’t think I’m infj

    • @aminamohammedi4052
      @aminamohammedi4052 4 года назад

      Do the test so u can know exactly ur personality type

  • @Kate98755
    @Kate98755 4 года назад

    I’m still not 100% sure if I’m istp ot istj

    • @alteredcatscyprus
      @alteredcatscyprus Год назад

      If you have photographs of your loved ones everywhere, and your home is your private sanctuary and you are very cautious about who you allow in, you are ISTJ.

    • @Kate98755
      @Kate98755 Год назад

      @@alteredcatscyprus this was 3 years ago, i know i’m an INFJ. No doubt…. 😁

    • @alteredcatscyprus
      @alteredcatscyprus Год назад

      @@Kate98755 Then your family photos are in a box somewhere, defo not on your walls 😁

    • @Kate98755
      @Kate98755 Год назад

      @@alteredcatscyprus i don’t have family pictures up, pictures from long ago are in a box….the rest are on my portable hard drive.

    • @alteredcatscyprus
      @alteredcatscyprus Год назад

      👍🏼😁@@Kate98755

  • @shellyshipman1801
    @shellyshipman1801 5 лет назад +1

    its baby sitting

  • @tanaponwarabut3268
    @tanaponwarabut3268 4 года назад

    Wendy ENFP Sunggyu ISTJ

  • @machinekurbli2650
    @machinekurbli2650 5 лет назад

    i tought u r an enfp