Daniel You are literally a life saver!!! Truly all this information is so helpful I can’t say it enough!! I I know this says sleep drive is the only “gas” for sleep. But doesn’t melatonin production also determine our sleep? I heard thats why the things like blue light exposure, bright lights, etc. can mess with melatonin production and that’s why we shouldn’t be around them before bed otherwise they cause sleep to not come. Do you see this to be true? Or is it more of a myth?
Thanks so so much for the kind words 😊 made me so glad just now!! And you know, melatonin has very very little impact (if any)… but thinking “I don’t sleep because there’s something wrong with my melatonin system” - that can make us have lots of trouble! So yes it’s a myth and melatonin is a common sleep effort, just like avoiding blue lights!
Great Daniel perfect explanation makes sense. I do suffer from that hypersleep issue. I no longer believe i am gettin 0 sleep every night and its just this kinda hypersleep. If i was getting 0 sleep for months i prob wouldnt be here talking to you now 😁
Perfect! And you know, just knowing that nothing strange or unusual is happening, and that you do sleep more than it seems… this alone often helps a lot!
Also, I have a question, when your alarm awake you, how is it for the sleep cycle ? I mean, everytime, that my alarm clock ring, I am in a deep sleep, so does that mean that you goes through the stage 4 or 3 of sleep to the stage 1 brutally ? Isn't it not healthy for the mind ? Always heard that the sleeping process, is really important for your health and energy. If it's disturbed, then, you are tired and less productive during the day. Anyway, I always got this situation .. Ya know like every nights I don't want to sleep, but when it's mornings and when I have to wake up I'm like "naaah I want to sleep, let me in my bed". I am anxious before falling asleep but I always fall asleep at a moment so I think that the body is relaxed at a moment and it's natural for us to fall asleep at a certain moment even with anxiety
Hi Ambre! You know, it’s worrying about how the alarm affects your sleep cycle that matters! As for sleep stages there is no evidence actually that they correlate in any way with how we feel or function during the day. When you look at sleep studies you can see that someone may have what looks like a textbook example of perfect sleep cycles but feel really crappy! On the other hand you can have someone who has what looks like a very fragmented and poor quality sleep but actually feel great! Furthermore there’s nothing you can do really to make yourself have more or less of a certain sleep stage. They are sort of like the composition of gases in room air. There’s really nothing wrong (at least not at sea level under typical circumstances 😝) and there’s nothing you can do about it either! Now sleeping is like breathing, you can’t hold your breath to a point where it hurts your body. Same with Sleep. Worrying about health can cause a lot of trouble sleeping! Glad you sleep even when there’s some anxiety Ambre!
Hey daniel, I have been sleeping like 4 hours then struggling to go back sleep i decided to exercise that it may improve my sleep but excercise is causing more problem like I fell very sleepy still can't sleep.
Hi Samar, You know what, this below I think will truly answer the question of exercise! And much more actually, take a look and let me know how it sounds! - Wondering if you should do this thing or this other thing is a very common question. And, you will see that it is actually surprisingly easy to answer! But first, let’s go back to some basic sleep physiology. The only thing that can make a human being sleep is their sleep drive, the gas in the sleep system. And the only thing that can build a strong sleep drive is wakefulness. Now there is a brake pedal in that system as well. And this is hyper arousal. Anything that makes you for example anxious or worried or puzzled or even just curious can make you hyper aroused. Think of a child before Christmas or you having a big presentation tomorrow. It is good that there’s a brake pedal in the system because sometimes, for example when the fire alarm goes off, we want to be woken up! This said, when it comes to insomnia, the brake pedal goes off for no other reason that there’s some confusion around safety. The brain is trying to keep you safe and keep you safe from wakefulness which it has started to look at as a threat when it happens at night. Now here is the thing, supplements and exercise and gadgets and soothing sounds cannot make you sleep! But that doesn’t mean they’re not important. They can’t increase the gas but they can cause a lot of brake problems! Let’s start with the example of alcohol. If somebody enjoys a glass of wine with dinner and they happen to also feel relaxed and sleep well. No problem, this is fantastic! If someone on the other hand is thinking that alcohol will make them sleep, well that’s a slippery slope. In reality, although the problem is more obvious with alcohol, it’s the same with anything you do to try to have more sleep. This by the way, it’s called a sleep effort. A sleep effort is anything you do with intent and purpose of either producing more sleep or protecting/preserving sleep. When you exercise and exercise is a gift itself that’s perfect. Because your attention is taken towards exercise and away from sleep. Same thing with yoga or mindfulness. When the intent is pleasure it is great. Do the same thing and with a different intent and something entirely different happens. If you exercise and you hope that the exercise will make you sleep more, you have created a sleep effort. When you exercise and you hope it’ll make you sleep better, you will pay more attention to sleep. You will calculate and keep track. You’re looking for control. You will become more preoccupied with sleep and sleep less. And then, you’ll be tempted to exercise more or, try something else! And then you may try a supplement. And you have another sleep effort! The more sleep efforts, the more that brake pedal in our sleep system is pushed down and the less sleep we get. So how should you know if you should do something or not? There’s actually a simple formula! If the intent with X is pleasure - go for it! If the intent with X is to sleep more, hold off (or change your intent).
I kind of had a serious setback last night couldn't sleep no matter what I did I just tried to let it happen and II don't know I just couldn't go to sleep so here I'm going to work today with maybe 1 or 2 hours of sleep I mean I'll be OK but it's wow it's just sometimes it wears on me I guess I'm to expect setbacks every once in a while right??
Hi Rudy, You know, just seeing “couldn’t sleep not matter what I did” really says so much. In a way we could rewrite this sentence as “because I did not matter what sleep couldn’t happen”. Totally normal of course. Yes Rudy, some speed bumps are totally expected and just something to learn from. Deploy some self kindness, learn, and you’ll find value even in something unpleasant like this!
Absolutely! You know, it’s a bit tricky but it’s the Desire to sleep that creates trouble sleeping. The more we crave/hope for/beg for sleep… the less we sleep. Pressure keeps us from sleeping, lack of pressure allows sleep to happen. When we are ok with being awake, we sleep easily. Now it can take a little time to see this clearly, but a great place to start are these playlists. This is natto - the perfect place to start learning! ruclips.net/p/PL6RQ1GS7B1cik8Xr8iVdxmKB9FYieevYj Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you. ruclips.net/p/PL6RQ1GS7B1cj68v9hdoXYv_fpOR65oI3U Hope this helps Janet, let us know how things go!!
Hi Daniel, I discovered your channel a few weeks ago and appreciate all the advice and education. I am at a difficult point though where I am getting roughly 4 hours of sleep every night. I gave birth about a month ago and still wake up throughout the night for feedings which doesn’t bother me at all. But ever since giving birth I have these obsessive thoughts that I’m not going to sleep at all and because of that I’ll go crazy and have to go to a psych ward and be taken from my husband and baby or that I will die from lack of slee. These thoughts take over me 24/7 and have caused me to struggle falling and staying asleep every night. I am working on just letting these thoughts come and go and not do anything about them but feel like I’m not getting any better because these thoughts are so “stuck”. What should I do?
Hi Iliana, Congratulations on your baby, but sorry of course to hear about this struggle. You know, having lots of trouble with sleep and sticky thoughts after becoming a mom is very common, not to belittle in ANY way what’s happening, but it can help to know that is common. And that as always when you learn things get easier. I can see that you have already learned a lot, you see that not trying to stop the thoughts is the way the become fleeting. I think a key insight here is “I am working on just letting these thoughts come and go and not do anything about them but feel like I’m not getting any better”. What this shows is an idea of cause and effect. If I do this (let them be) then they will go away. Which of course is true, but when there’s this intent of making them go away, we aren’t fully listening. You know how people say that you find things when you’re not looking? Well imagine that you’ve been looking for your glasses for a while and you haven’t been able to find them. Then you remember that people say that you find things when you’re not looking. Then you decide not to look. After about two hours you’re frustrated because even after not looking, you still haven’t found them! The thing here is that, you’re actually still looking for your glasses, because you’re upset that you didn’t find them when you were “not looking.” It’s similar here. And you know what I think makes a difference is simple awareness. When the thoughts are there, and you notice a thought like “I have to let them go so they go away”; then you can meet this with “aha, there’s still some intent to make them go away”, this helps so very much. Hope this helps Ilana and thanks for being here. Hang in there!
Hi Daniel. Can I use your program and the advice here on RUclips to sleep well again given that I have tinnitus. I ask because i was looking at another CBTi program and they said I couldn't sign up because I had tinnitus. Hoping you can help where they couldn't.
Hi Jerry, You know it’s very common to have tinnitus, often when we are in a state of hyperarousal, hyper vigilance, then we notice things we otherwise wouldn’t, and the brain identifies things like a sound as a threat easily, thereby amplifying whatever signal was noticed. So I say not only can whatever education you find here help with trouble sleeping, but also with tinnitus and really any other unpleasant experience that comes from the struggle.
Hi Daniel,
Thanks for this video.
That really cleared my confusion regarding the "gas and break" module.
Perfect Sagi! So glad to read this, and thanks for asking, it really helps me to clarify teaching points 👍
Daniel You are literally a life saver!!! Truly all this information is so helpful I can’t say it enough!! I I know this says sleep drive is the only “gas” for sleep. But doesn’t melatonin production also determine our sleep? I heard thats why the things like blue light exposure, bright lights, etc. can mess with melatonin production and that’s why we shouldn’t be around them before bed otherwise they cause sleep to not come. Do you see this to be true? Or is it more of a myth?
Thanks so so much for the kind words 😊 made me so glad just now!! And you know, melatonin has very very little impact (if any)… but thinking “I don’t sleep because there’s something wrong with my melatonin system” - that can make us have lots of trouble! So yes it’s a myth and melatonin is a common sleep effort, just like avoiding blue lights!
Great Daniel perfect explanation makes sense. I do suffer from that hypersleep issue. I no longer believe i am gettin 0 sleep every night and its just this kinda hypersleep. If i was getting 0 sleep for months i prob wouldnt be here talking to you now 😁
Perfect! And you know, just knowing that nothing strange or unusual is happening, and that you do sleep more than it seems… this alone often helps a lot!
Also, I have a question, when your alarm awake you, how is it for the sleep cycle ? I mean, everytime, that my alarm clock ring, I am in a deep sleep, so does that mean that you goes through the stage 4 or 3 of sleep to the stage 1 brutally ? Isn't it not healthy for the mind ? Always heard that the sleeping process, is really important for your health and energy. If it's disturbed, then, you are tired and less productive during the day. Anyway, I always got this situation .. Ya know like every nights I don't want to sleep, but when it's mornings and when I have to wake up I'm like "naaah I want to sleep, let me in my bed".
I am anxious before falling asleep but I always fall asleep at a moment so I think that the body is relaxed at a moment and it's natural for us to fall asleep at a certain moment even with anxiety
Hi Ambre! You know, it’s worrying about how the alarm affects your sleep cycle that matters!
As for sleep stages there is no evidence actually that they correlate in any way with how we feel or function during the day. When you look at sleep studies you can see that someone may have what looks like a textbook example of perfect sleep cycles but feel really crappy! On the other hand you can have someone who has what looks like a very fragmented and poor quality sleep but actually feel great!
Furthermore there’s nothing you can do really to make yourself have more or less of a certain sleep stage. They are sort of like the composition of gases in room air. There’s really nothing wrong (at least not at sea level under typical circumstances 😝) and there’s nothing you can do about it either!
Now sleeping is like breathing, you can’t hold your breath to a point where it hurts your body. Same with Sleep. Worrying about health can cause a lot of trouble sleeping!
Glad you sleep even when there’s some anxiety Ambre!
Hey daniel, I have been sleeping like 4 hours then struggling to go back sleep i decided to exercise that it may improve my sleep but excercise is causing more problem like I fell very sleepy still can't sleep.
Hi Samar,
You know what, this below I think will truly answer the question of exercise! And much more actually, take a look and let me know how it sounds!
-
Wondering if you should do this thing or this other thing is a very common question. And, you will see that it is actually surprisingly easy to answer!
But first, let’s go back to some basic sleep physiology.
The only thing that can make a human being sleep is their sleep drive, the gas in the sleep system. And the only thing that can build a strong sleep drive is wakefulness.
Now there is a brake pedal in that system as well. And this is hyper arousal. Anything that makes you for example anxious or worried or puzzled or even just curious can make you hyper aroused. Think of a child before Christmas or you having a big presentation tomorrow.
It is good that there’s a brake pedal in the system because sometimes, for example when the fire alarm goes off, we want to be woken up!
This said, when it comes to insomnia, the brake pedal goes off for no other reason that there’s some confusion around safety. The brain is trying to keep you safe and keep you safe from wakefulness which it has started to look at as a threat when it happens at night.
Now here is the thing, supplements and exercise and gadgets and soothing sounds cannot make you sleep!
But that doesn’t mean they’re not important. They can’t increase the gas but they can cause a lot of brake problems!
Let’s start with the example of alcohol. If somebody enjoys a glass of wine with dinner and they happen to also feel relaxed and sleep well. No problem, this is fantastic!
If someone on the other hand is thinking that alcohol will make them sleep, well that’s a slippery slope.
In reality, although the problem is more obvious with alcohol, it’s the same with anything you do to try to have more sleep. This by the way, it’s called a sleep effort.
A sleep effort is anything you do with intent and purpose of either producing more sleep or protecting/preserving sleep.
When you exercise and exercise is a gift itself that’s perfect. Because your attention is taken towards exercise and away from sleep. Same thing with yoga or mindfulness. When the intent is pleasure it is great.
Do the same thing and with a different intent and something entirely different happens. If you exercise and you hope that the exercise will make you sleep more, you have created a sleep effort.
When you exercise and you hope it’ll make you sleep better, you will pay more attention to sleep. You will calculate and keep track. You’re looking for control. You will become more preoccupied with sleep and sleep less. And then, you’ll be tempted to exercise more or, try something else!
And then you may try a supplement. And you have another sleep effort!
The more sleep efforts, the more that brake pedal in our sleep system is pushed down and the less sleep we get.
So how should you know if you should do something or not? There’s actually a simple formula!
If the intent with X is pleasure - go for it! If the intent with X is to sleep more, hold off (or change your intent).
I kind of had a serious setback last night couldn't sleep no matter what I did I just tried to let it happen and II don't know I just couldn't go to sleep so here I'm going to work today with maybe 1 or 2 hours of sleep I mean I'll be OK but it's wow it's just sometimes it wears on me I guess I'm to expect setbacks every once in a while right??
Hi Rudy,
You know, just seeing “couldn’t sleep not matter what I did” really says so much. In a way we could rewrite this sentence as “because I did not matter what sleep couldn’t happen”. Totally normal of course. Yes Rudy, some speed bumps are totally expected and just something to learn from. Deploy some self kindness, learn, and you’ll find value even in something unpleasant like this!
Hi , could you please help me out. I want to sleep badly but can’t falls into sleep and than wakes up many times at nights.
Absolutely! You know, it’s a bit tricky but it’s the Desire to sleep that creates trouble sleeping. The more we crave/hope for/beg for sleep… the less we sleep. Pressure keeps us from sleeping, lack of pressure allows sleep to happen. When we are ok with being awake, we sleep easily.
Now it can take a little time to see this clearly, but a great place to start are these playlists.
This is natto - the perfect place to start learning!
ruclips.net/p/PL6RQ1GS7B1cik8Xr8iVdxmKB9FYieevYj
Success stories - if you need hope and inspiration, this is for you.
ruclips.net/p/PL6RQ1GS7B1cj68v9hdoXYv_fpOR65oI3U
Hope this helps Janet, let us know how things go!!
The Sleep Coach School
Thanks for your reply.
Can I have your personal email address please?
Anytime Janet,
You can leave any questions here! If you’d like more support then just check out our website and you’ll see several options.
Hi Daniel, I discovered your channel a few weeks ago and appreciate all the advice and education. I am at a difficult point though where I am getting roughly 4 hours of sleep every night. I gave birth about a month ago and still wake up throughout the night for feedings which doesn’t bother me at all. But ever since giving birth I have these obsessive thoughts that I’m not going to sleep at all and because of that I’ll go crazy and have to go to a psych ward and be taken from my husband and baby or that I will die from lack of slee. These thoughts take over me 24/7 and have caused me to struggle falling and staying asleep every night. I am working on just letting these thoughts come and go and not do anything about them but feel like I’m not getting any better because these thoughts are so “stuck”. What should I do?
Hi Iliana,
Congratulations on your baby, but sorry of course to hear about this struggle. You know, having lots of trouble with sleep and sticky thoughts after becoming a mom is very common, not to belittle in ANY way what’s happening, but it can help to know that is common. And that as always when you learn things get easier.
I can see that you have already learned a lot, you see that not trying to stop the thoughts is the way the become fleeting. I think a key insight here is “I am working on just letting these thoughts come and go and not do anything about them but feel like I’m not getting any better”.
What this shows is an idea of cause and effect. If I do this (let them be) then they will go away. Which of course is true, but when there’s this intent of making them go away, we aren’t fully listening.
You know how people say that you find things when you’re not looking?
Well imagine that you’ve been looking for your glasses for a while and you haven’t been able to find them. Then you remember that people say that you find things when you’re not looking. Then you decide not to look.
After about two hours you’re frustrated because even after not looking, you still haven’t found them!
The thing here is that, you’re actually still looking for your glasses, because you’re upset that you didn’t find them when you were “not looking.”
It’s similar here. And you know what I think makes a difference is simple awareness. When the thoughts are there, and you notice a thought like “I have to let them go so they go away”; then you can meet this with “aha, there’s still some intent to make them go away”, this helps so very much.
Hope this helps Ilana and thanks for being here. Hang in there!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 this makes sense, Daniel! Thank you so much!
Anytime Iliana, hang in there an be in touch!
Hi Daniel. Can I use your program and the advice here on RUclips to sleep well again given that I have tinnitus. I ask because i was looking at another CBTi program and they said I couldn't sign up because I had tinnitus. Hoping you can help where they couldn't.
Hi Jerry,
You know it’s very common to have tinnitus, often when we are in a state of hyperarousal, hyper vigilance, then we notice things we otherwise wouldn’t, and the brain identifies things like a sound as a threat easily, thereby amplifying whatever signal was noticed.
So I say not only can whatever education you find here help with trouble sleeping, but also with tinnitus and really any other unpleasant experience that comes from the struggle.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thanks Daniel for the reassurance. I can now commit fully to your approach.
Sounds wonderful, and anytime! Let us know how things go and when questions come up 👍
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Will do.