This place was recommended for me to read unbeknownst to me that mine looked so bland compared to others who see some pretty lights since I have not yet to done the tribal quests :O Also I had crazy allergies the day I read the story so the tip of my nose kept bothering me hence why I keep touching it!!!
Im sensing a common denominator here... I dont think OP's issue is the FC's. I think their issue is lack of self awareness. Everyone else is the problem except them.
Well there is toxic positivity. He's not wrong about that. Another story had a character named Ava that was a poster child for it. Feigning positivity to use you for what they want. I see it a bunch in rp circles. But yea most likely not the case here. He seemed to be the issue.
ItsRemRem's comment at @24:26 hit the nail right on the head, the story is missing tons of pieces, in OP's versions of the stories things seem to just happen out of the blue. Also OP tends to judge and label others without giving valid reasoning. OP, if you are reading this, look inward.
They made someone feel bad about their dead hamster and then turned it around by saying "I know when I'm not wanted" and being mad a mod did their job to try and spare feelings. And several times got mad anytime someone annoyed then in the slightest. Main character sydrome.
That's something I constantly see coming from people in HR in different jobs, and managers. It's like Cusco's attitude at the beginning of the emperor's new grove when he tells the villager that he's going to destroy his house.
Considering a large protion of the FC already had OP blocked I am guessing that the FC has a story about that guy who always said offensive stuff and then the hamster thing was the straw that broke the camel's back.
OP: "People in FFXIV overreact to the smallest shit. Couldn't be me." Also OP: "Why tf you give your new rat such a stupid name? your old one died? skill issue."
As an FC leader of almost 8 years, I can tell OP is a bit oblivious to the way they say things to others, and they don't register that they've done something wrong. However -- the communities they are part of aren't exactly telling them what the issues are so they can be corrected. (Not that FCs should be responsible for teaching people how to behave, but they *should* be responsible for making clear what is and is not tolerated in their spaces.) Community and Communicate have root words for a reason -- to have a community, you need to communicate, and to communicate, you need some manner of community, no matter how small. Both OP and the Communities they were part of should have been more open with their problems and issues. That alone would have resolved a lot of strife long term. But I do agree with OP that there is a fair amount of toxic positivity in the 14 community. (By which I mean, people getting so sensitive to something that is even remotely insulting, no matter the context surrounding the subject or people involved in the discussion, and treating *any* manner of negativity, even constructive criticism, as something bad or toxic.) I don't think that quite applies in this situation though. There really wasn't a good example of that sort of behavior in most of the stories. I agree with @carrillmunnings525 that a lot of these tales seem chopped out of details.
Weird signs from the beggining already. I myself belong to the tail end of the Millennial generation but I swear every time I see an older person complaining about Gen Z's supposed ''fragility'' they proceed to be unhinged immediately afterwards LOL The ''I have an IRL girlfriend, isn't that crazy'' at the start was weird also.
I would love to hear one of the FC members perspective on this. From hearing the story there sounds like there's a lot of info missing, potentially on purpose? who knows. But it's pretty fishy to be kicked/be confronted by multiple people stating that they're fed up with all their comments, heavily suggesting that it wasn't the first occurrence. I hope OP can learn from these experiences and move forward. Really loving your videos Pathra!
Oh lord lol, hearing these crazy stories makes me glad I'm in an FC with friends Ive known for the past 10+yrs and theyre sane and drama-free. Also, OP just needs to learn to keep his mouth shut sometimes lol.
i was like how you been with your gf for 11 yrs and havent gotten married, and continuing listening to this story i went "hmmm- i dont think this woman should marry him, he sounds self conceded"
"I play with my IRL girlfriend, I know, hard to believe right?" instantly comes off as weird. They also just dismiss every problem off as "toxic positivity" regardless of their own involvement and seem to have a very narrowminded view of people based on what games they play. Not every FF14 player is a snowflake and not every League player is hyper toxic
In all my twenty-something years, I have never heard anyone use the phrase "heavily autistic" before. And the things they said after that sounded *super ableist*, at least to me. OP does not seem like someone I'd like to meet in FFXIV, if anywhere at all...
I don't know... OP didn't give much information on why he disliked certain people, so it is hard to tell if it was justified. BUT I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he did have his reasons. On the other hand I think, that OP is one of those people who, like was said in the video, don't think before they speak/write sometimes. I don't even think that he does hurt other people on purpose. He just is not aware of it obviously. Or he is and decided to pretend that he isn't. That is something we will never know for we only have his word.
@@ditzyhere3138 Pretty sure OP asked for feedback for his LoL performance too and was just upset that he got feedback. It happens so much with these people and I've dealt with more than I can remember. LoL players tend to say they "don't care" and will personally lash out at other people.
I don't think you should worry about being mean. You make a good objective 3rd party, and maybe hearing a respectful critique from you might cause some people to reflect a little. I don't think op is a bad person, but I agree that they seem to lack self-awareness.
So, are most of these on the Crystal Data Center? I took a trip to Balmung from Aether out of curiosity and Ul'Dah near the pub place was crazy packed. What do people do there? Besides the obvious.
The way OP throws around 'toxic positivity' and says things like 'I limited my interactions to avoid triggering people until we knew them better' (and maybe even the fact they are a WoW raider/LoL player...) makes me think they're at least PART of the problem, even if they don't see it and own up to it. Yes, FCs have drama and some don't have good conflict resolution and some don't communicate expectations to members well... but, I feel like the OP is used to a very different game culture (perhaps something more like WoW, where making political incorrect jokes, using slurs jokingly all the time, and being an asshole to new players is kinda the norm from my prior experience) and doesn't understand how FF14 is different, so labels it as 'toxic positivity' everywhere. Also, you don't sound like you're giving off toxic positive for being level-headed, reasonable and non reactive when it comes to things Pathra. As long as you don't take it too far and let people walk all over you, those qualities are fantastic in a person. lol
Toxic positivity is an issue in some communities (the new age community is one who suffers it bad lol), and being so positive you're bordering on delusional and you shoot down letting people express their hurt, or "negative" emotions reasonably is damaging. But I find most of the time when people are calling it out like OP is, it's because they're toxic people with no self awareness of their issues, and it's used to blame others. Kinda like when white folks that are also racists gets called out and start trying to claim 'reverse racism' is a thing... 😫🤦
I have had similar experiences with FCs but unlike this person, I actually see that it was most likely my fault that I didn't particularly get along with anyone. Thinking back of how I used to act, I realize it was my own mistrust and toxicity that caused me to fall out with a lot of these people and I hope OP did some introspection and understood what he did wrong. Self introspection can be hard but I believe even the most selfloving people can do it.
This entire chronicle just sounds like OP wants to be an asshole with no social cues and everyone just has to deal with his social ineptness. If that isn't toxic positivity, I don't know what is.
I would still LOVE to see the story from the FCs perspective. Maybe they find this video and are like "Hold up! OP left out way too much, let us explain this", because I still feel like OP left out a lot, so that OP doesn't look as bad as OP already does. I also still don't like how OP talked about autistic people. They are now annoying -_-! And the whole hamster situation was frustrating to listen to. Not because of your reading, but because of the story itself. Just because someone names their pet a certain way, doesn't mean the name is referring to the thing you think of. I for example love the name Fiona, so let's for example say my Chocobo is named Fiona and someone is talking to me and asking me if I like Shrek. I would immediately be like, no, but I like Adventure Time. A name can be a reference to multiple media or even none, since not everyone knows the same characters as you do. OPs reaction was so out of line there, geez... And last but not least. Saying that everyone in the FF14 community overreacts, while OP themselves overreacted multiple times, is just hilarious to me.
"Toxic positivity." Yeah, I think he's the toxic one here. I've been told by outside sources that my FC is toxic. But I've never noticed. Maybe it's 'cause I'm toxic myself. Or maybe it's 'cause I just don't spend that much time interacting with them. 🤷🏻♂️
it just seems like final fantasy 14 just isn’t his type of game i think, lmao all facetiousness aside, this story seems like OP is deliberately leaving things out to make it seem like it’s not his fault despite other players being uncomfortable / annoyed around him because of his behavior
I get the toxic positivity as: "yeah, mental health is important" /proceeds to cancel you until you get depressed and maybe "oof" youself or ignore you and leave you alone instead of trying to help you change good in the moment you stop acting as the rest do also, faking things, faking friendship, and stuff/
Toxic positivity is a real thing, OP is just misusing the hell out of it. An example of toxic positivity is when you have a friend who's depressed or going through a tough time and you completely ignore/disregard their feelings and/or tell them to not mention it to you because you don't want to deal with any negativity yourself. FC members not wanting to deal with rude people/other people's drama is not toxic positivity.
When the problem seems to follow you to every FC you go to, it's time to start looking at what the common denominator is- It's OP.... OP is the common denominator...
My understanding of of people calling out toxic positivity in FFXIV is when people try to, for instance, encourage a player who's doing poorly and tells others to let them play how they want. People are often discouraged from giving advice - even friendly, constructive advice - because it is considered toxic by some, so they get annoyed at people being like "You got this! You're doing your best!" So whenever someone complains about toxic positivity, I tend to think they got told off for telling someone they suck at the game.
Look, I know this kind of situations cause of Twitter RP and can tell you. He's gonna end alone the moment his girl finds a community that points out "how toxic is your boyfriend" while having manipulative people among them.
Op sounds like someone who would say something horrible to someone in public chat and then be like "why doesn't anyone like me?!" Ngl, I'd have definitely blocked him.
Yeah, I agree with the toxic positivity in the XIV community. Like if you don't think XIV is the best game ever, if you don't think the story is a masterpiece, if EW didn't made you cry, if you don't like Soken's music, if you don't think Yoshi P is god and your best friend you get shunned xD
So it sounds like OP got confused w/ Toxic Positivity and Fair Weather Friends; people who will only associate with you if the "weather" is good, and ditch as soon as you're going through something. Toxic Positivity is a real issue, where people think that ANY negative thought is not allowed at all ever, and inadvertently do a form of emotional suppression by refusing to acknowledge when they're upset.
If I ever find an FC that advertise they're "Drama-free" it's going to be the most drama-filled place in Eorzea lol Cuz the leader will start fights nonstop but god forbid you complain about something.
This story was kinda frustrating. Mostly because it hits a big pet peeve of mine from a previous friendship. Playing victim without the full context. Sounds like they omitted a lot to make themselves seem better, or they just genuinely thought they did no wrong. If so many people are randomly blocking you, there's an issue with you. Or you're being bullied, but this story didn't sound like that at all. I hope OP becomes more aware. It's obviously not about players being overly sensitive, but OP not being sensitive and aware enough themselves.
OP is reminding me of why i left WoW that attitude is exactly it. I really was afraid of this infecting FF after others came on over from there during WoWs shadowlands expansion. I didnt want that attitude to come over to FF and become commonplace. Also i am sick of people saying "Toxic positivity" when i grew up in 90s and 00s where respect and not constantly being negative was commonplace. The negativity is why its a problem to interact with people.
"Know matter what people think my stories are fake" ... Ive been reading reddit a lot and I think a lot of stories on there are fake.. but then I went into duty finder the other day and met a "Healer that refuses to dps" and was like... "Omg reddit was right! You people actually exist!" and proceeded to spend the entire duty being like "Is it because you're taking a moral stance against dps?" "Are you allergic to stone?" "Do you view people who dps as lesser beings?" The rest of my party had a good laugh but the healer not so much lol!
tbf, people these days have a thin skin, they get hurt about the most silly things and instead of talking about it like adults they prefer to pretend everything is okay and then just ghost it. i had a dungeon run where the tank got butthurt coz he/she died first pull and i said tank, put on ur emnity skill. and he/ she was like dont tell me what to do, and left -_- but just generally irl ppl cant talk anymore when shit gets real, sometimes when u point out stuff they take it as a negative and cant cope with that, while u just say it to like help them i guess. im not saying OP doesnt have any issues but eeh i can imagine me getting in the same situations as him because i just tell it how it is and ppl dont like that, they prefer to live in their lil safe space. its not being negative, its being realistic, and alot of ppl are like too positive about everything, wich isnt realistic. might be what he means with toxic positivity.
Bro, sometimes people are actually just jerks. And frankly, these days are actually better than previous generations about being easily offended. People being upset by the simple presence of a black person near them, calling rock music "demonic" etc.
Late to the party with this video but was instantly offended as someone that is diagnosed with ASD myself… There is clearly a lot of holes missing in the story as to the “real reason” he was kicked x2 from FCs… The things he says even make me cringe 😬 his poor girlfriend though
It’s understandable they went back to the WoW community and say they feel comfortable there. Speaking as someone who played wow for 12 years before XIV…
To be honest i even defend OP on the third FC story on the teemo part, if you have vurnable topics like that, make a special channel for that, so everyone knows they should think before saying something, because not everyone brings time and much thought when there online, thats not how it works, this maybe work in RL that you say think before you say something, but not online, online are to many factors that deny that
How can an FC be filled with Toxic positivity? An FC is for gaming. It's a gaming community. People enjoy video games, so it only makes sense they wouldn't really want drama or traumadumping present in their source of entertainment. I mean, there's a time and a place for it. And It shouldn't be in public with people wanting to have fun. Pretty sus imo.
This level of social ineptitude is unfortunately very common in BDO. When all people do in that game is grinding in circles several hours a day, it definitely damages their ability to muster any meaningful conversations outside of "get rekt nerd" or "you're dogsht uninstall the game." I find it kind of hilarious that people immediately blamed WoW when this screamed BDO for me. xD
Sounds like this guy that was in my FC for like a week and left, refused to join our discord and complained about us not communicating enough. Even though our hours of play are listed, and we are active. Then went on a tangent that there were not enough males playing and lack of rp... *Side eyes*
Honestly I think the teemo comment wasn't the issue, I'm in a few active discords and sometimes it's way too much work to scroll all the way back to the last thing you saw to keep up to date on everything and on the surface it does just seem like a joke about teemo - it just happened to be the straw the broke the camel's back, and their response to it was the biggest issue and definitely shows that there were more things going on that we weren't told about.
The title "All my FC's suck and dont know why" already did sound strange and red flag like. Maybe the op should think about the possibility that not everyone else sucks but maybe the OP does at times atleast? If everyone kicks me out whereever i go, i would reflect atleast in parts on myself instead of blaming the whole world around me. ^^
Even tho I don't think OP is innocent in ANY WAY I somehow can relate to this story. FFXIV is a great game which I came back to a few times over the years, but as a solo player mostly and just for the story - NOT for the MMO part of the game. I joined a few FCs, never clicked with anybody, talking to people generally feels like walking on eggshells and kind of immature. All other games (YES WoW included) I've played with either IRL friends or quite qickly found people ingame, some of them became IRL friends too. To this day I really don't know what it is about the FFXIV community ...connections seem mostly forced, fake (-positive) or based on erotic stuff😅 but on a positive note: it's ok - to each their own ♥ this way everyone finds their online home (that rhymes)
Yeah I dont like op. Bashing autsic people like myself really sucks. I depise people for that. Everyone is werid so what who cares. I woulda lost it if someone said that to me. He needs to understand people feelings
In my opinion: Meowy was OP's side piece, and when she got back together with the old BF he was upset. Then OP changed servers cause Meowy was about to tell her truth and annihilate OP's relationship. In the two other stories, OP being a dick or fumbling the convo, and feeling dispirited after taking the L.
If i'm being completely honest, I also have a huge problem with the FFXIV community as a whole. I love the game, and I think there can be some genuinely nice people, but there is so much drama dumping on a constant basis. It's like everyone wants to argue and views themselves as better than others. In terms of toxic positivity, it's almost like a dick measuring contest on who's the nicest and best person to be around, even though at the end of the day, they're all manipulative and self-entitled people. There are so many people who can't take a joke, can't take any form of criticism, and they want absolutely no negativity in any form, even if the "negativity" is in the form of helping people improve. A huge part of this is because of how the lgbtq+ community as a whole interacts with both each other and those outside of it. FFXIV has a large lgbtq+ community proportionally to other games. Due to the nature of their concepts of "everyone is equal and can do anything anyone else can do" and "you can't tell me how to live my life", if you say one negative thing, it gets blown out of proportion. I will state, I have no qualms or issues with anyone wanting to do whatever they want with their lives. I don't judge others based on their own life choices...but if you come into an open space where there are plenty of people who have differing opinions and viewpoints, you can't act like a spoiled brat and assume you should get everything you want all the time or that other people can't have opinions. Also, when someone says something that's seen by you to be negative, maybe look at it from a viewpoint other than your own. They may be just trying to help. If you don't want help, just say so, but you don't need to be obnoxious about it. Stop acting like children. Most of these people are in their 20s or 30s and they're acting like toddlers. My 10 year old daughter has more self control and understanding.
the comment to the other girl about being all over her if she was single was DISGUSTING. the poor girl is his gf, i would of broken up with him on the spot for that, op is a freak no sympathy
even tho teemo is a hated character, he is still liked by many people, he is also nicknamed a hampster by many so i feel that is why the person may have named them that. at the end of the day teemo is still a cute hamster yordle doesn't matter what "others think" and it seems that op would never speak at all and only chime in with random rude comments or something negative which is why everyone disliked them. if the only thing you EVER have to say is negative it doesnt matter if you talk alot or not at all, people will still get weird vibes from you,
This dude is the worst xDDD This is comedy gold. Also - Oh I'm sure OP thinks before he speaks, he thinks that he's the good guy lmao and everyone else is woke or stupid xdd
this reminds me of the dunning kruger effect, this person is too stupid to comprehend that he is the problem. sends in this story basicly telling everyone that he is a very bad/toxic person with zero selfawareness. maybe this comment/s will make him realize it, but i dont think so.
OP is a problem sure, but I’m not sure if he’s the problem. He is rather judgmental and prejudiced in some places for sure and people are likely not liking him for that. And definitely doesn’t think before he speaks. But also some other people do sound like they were gunning for him, but how much is true and how much is rationalisation is another thing
"Toxic positivity" just sounds like a made up word to cop out for being a jerk, so you don't have to acknowledge you're being a jerk lol It's ok to communicate when you don't like something, but have some tact and mutual respect. I agree, give people the benefit of the doubt.
Nah OP was kind of in the wrong but they werent completely at fault. They had a point about "Toxic Positivity" as they call it but I think what they mean is that people are way too easily offended and quick to assume and go with the nuclear option. It has literally happened in multiple stories where there is a small misunderstanding or disagreement or someone says something another does not like and all goes to hell. OP may not be innocent but they arent completely the problem either.
toxic positivity is pretty much going above and beyond to be a "safe space" but making sure you are mindful of any and all triggers some folk can have.. to a unhealthy degree and that any small offense unintentional or otherwise is met with toxic behavior and fights. Pretty much positivity to a unhealthy level that you don't welcome things like sadness or anger that those are bad feelings to feel.. that everything must be positive all the time.
desperately want to know what these so called innocent covid jokes were if they really weren't that bad. also the fact that apparently he only fucked up for saying shit about a pet's name when the previous one passed away like... no even if the previous pet didn't pass away that's no fucking excuse to start talking shit out of nowhere bro. dude didn't even get the memo that the hate on teemo is a fandom meme
This place was recommended for me to read unbeknownst to me that mine looked so bland compared to others who see some pretty lights since I have not yet to done the tribal quests :O
Also I had crazy allergies the day I read the story so the tip of my nose kept bothering me hence why I keep touching it!!!
OP: “I consider myself a pretty chill dude”
Also OP not being chill about anything
Are you questioning his feelings ? "Considering" =/= being sure
It's just a "consideration" after all.
@throwmeaname
Exactly my thoughts during the read xddd
Im sensing a common denominator here... I dont think OP's issue is the FC's. I think their issue is lack of self awareness. Everyone else is the problem except them.
Oh 100%
Right
I guess when you're toxic anyone being nice would come off as using toxic positivity.
That has to be it! Never thought of that but that’s a good point
Well there is toxic positivity. He's not wrong about that. Another story had a character named Ava that was a poster child for it. Feigning positivity to use you for what they want. I see it a bunch in rp circles. But yea most likely not the case here. He seemed to be the issue.
@@ripvanwinkle3432 Agreed
ItsRemRem's comment at @24:26 hit the nail right on the head, the story is missing tons of pieces, in OP's versions of the stories things seem to just happen out of the blue. Also OP tends to judge and label others without giving valid reasoning.
OP, if you are reading this, look inward.
Before the story starts: hmm there’s a common denominator but let’s give OP a chance.
12 mins in: yeah he’s a tool 😂
It really feels like we're missing a big chunk of these stories. lol
They made someone feel bad about their dead hamster and then turned it around by saying "I know when I'm not wanted" and being mad a mod did their job to try and spare feelings. And several times got mad anytime someone annoyed then in the slightest. Main character sydrome.
Toxic positivity is such a twitter thing to say. You'd never hear this word from anyone who isn't terminally online.
No, toxic positivity is a real thing, I've seen a lot of it, however I doubt OP actually experienced it at all.
Have you guys heard of LinkedIn? :D
That's something I constantly see coming from people in HR in different jobs, and managers.
It's like Cusco's attitude at the beginning of the emperor's new grove when he tells the villager that he's going to destroy his house.
Yeah bruh. I wouldn’t want this person in my FC at all. The “toxic positivity” crowd really irk me.
I mean, I've experienced toxic positivity, especially as a disabled person, but like OP was just being a major jerk.
Considering a large protion of the FC already had OP blocked I am guessing that the FC has a story about that guy who always said offensive stuff and then the hamster thing was the straw that broke the camel's back.
This is like that, "I can't get along with everyone--everyone else is crazy."
Might be you, OP. Might be you.
OP: "People in FFXIV overreact to the smallest shit. Couldn't be me."
Also OP: "Why tf you give your new rat such a stupid name? your old one died? skill issue."
He didn't know the other one died and when he did he regretted it and wanted to apologize. You can not like OP but don't demonize him with lies
chad
As an FC leader of almost 8 years, I can tell OP is a bit oblivious to the way they say things to others, and they don't register that they've done something wrong. However -- the communities they are part of aren't exactly telling them what the issues are so they can be corrected. (Not that FCs should be responsible for teaching people how to behave, but they *should* be responsible for making clear what is and is not tolerated in their spaces.)
Community and Communicate have root words for a reason -- to have a community, you need to communicate, and to communicate, you need some manner of community, no matter how small. Both OP and the Communities they were part of should have been more open with their problems and issues. That alone would have resolved a lot of strife long term.
But I do agree with OP that there is a fair amount of toxic positivity in the 14 community. (By which I mean, people getting so sensitive to something that is even remotely insulting, no matter the context surrounding the subject or people involved in the discussion, and treating *any* manner of negativity, even constructive criticism, as something bad or toxic.)
I don't think that quite applies in this situation though. There really wasn't a good example of that sort of behavior in most of the stories. I agree with @carrillmunnings525 that a lot of these tales seem chopped out of details.
I think they were telling OP what they did wrong and OP just left it out.
Weird signs from the beggining already. I myself belong to the tail end of the Millennial generation but I swear every time I see an older person complaining about Gen Z's supposed ''fragility'' they proceed to be unhinged immediately afterwards LOL The ''I have an IRL girlfriend, isn't that crazy'' at the start was weird also.
I would love to hear one of the FC members perspective on this. From hearing the story there sounds like there's a lot of info missing, potentially on purpose? who knows. But it's pretty fishy to be kicked/be confronted by multiple people stating that they're fed up with all their comments, heavily suggesting that it wasn't the first occurrence. I hope OP can learn from these experiences and move forward. Really loving your videos Pathra!
I saw the title and thought, Oh boy.. this sounds like OP is gonna be the problem xD
really sounds like he's not painting the full picture here
when it got to the twilight fc story with 'baily and everest' i just know the real names are bella and edward 🤣
This guy was the main character in his own head. Love the vids pathra keep em coming
Oh lord lol, hearing these crazy stories makes me glad I'm in an FC with friends Ive known for the past 10+yrs and theyre sane and drama-free.
Also, OP just needs to learn to keep his mouth shut sometimes lol.
Honestly, I feel like OP isn't a reliable narrator, so much so I don't feel like we're getting even half of the story. Maybe 1/4 of it...
I mean listen, if you are constantly driving in oncoming fraffic you might just be in the wrong lane...
i was like how you been with your gf for 11 yrs and havent gotten married, and continuing listening to this story i went "hmmm- i dont think this woman should marry him, he sounds self conceded"
Just when I needed a Pathra video!!
"I play with my IRL girlfriend, I know, hard to believe right?" instantly comes off as weird. They also just dismiss every problem off as "toxic positivity" regardless of their own involvement and seem to have a very narrowminded view of people based on what games they play. Not every FF14 player is a snowflake and not every League player is hyper toxic
In all my twenty-something years, I have never heard anyone use the phrase "heavily autistic" before. And the things they said after that sounded *super ableist*, at least to me. OP does not seem like someone I'd like to meet in FFXIV, if anywhere at all...
Edit because I used the word "something" instead of "someone" like an idiot lol
Op : "people in FF 14 overrract to even smallest things"
Also Op being over exaggeratedly angry at basically anything that people were doing or saying
I don't know...
OP didn't give much information on why he disliked certain people, so it is hard to tell if it was justified. BUT I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that he did have his reasons.
On the other hand I think, that OP is one of those people who, like was said in the video, don't think before they speak/write sometimes. I don't even think that he does hurt other people on purpose. He just is not aware of it obviously. Or he is and decided to pretend that he isn't. That is something we will never know for we only have his word.
Well he's for sure insecure and that might be one reason. He hated the dude that played LoL simply because he was higher ranked than him.
@@ditzyhere3138Maybe. Or maybe that guy really wasn't a nice person. Maybe even a little bit of both.
@@ditzyhere3138 Pretty sure OP asked for feedback for his LoL performance too and was just upset that he got feedback. It happens so much with these people and I've dealt with more than I can remember. LoL players tend to say they "don't care" and will personally lash out at other people.
If everyone else seem to be the problem, then chances are you are the problem.
I don't think you should worry about being mean. You make a good objective 3rd party, and maybe hearing a respectful critique from you might cause some people to reflect a little.
I don't think op is a bad person, but I agree that they seem to lack self-awareness.
OP, you're the issue.
So, are most of these on the Crystal Data Center? I took a trip to Balmung from Aether out of curiosity and Ul'Dah near the pub place was crazy packed. What do people do there? Besides the obvious.
I see there is a Portgas D. Ace cosplayer there! Nice glam
OP sounds so oblivious, sheeeesh.
The way OP throws around 'toxic positivity' and says things like 'I limited my interactions to avoid triggering people until we knew them better' (and maybe even the fact they are a WoW raider/LoL player...) makes me think they're at least PART of the problem, even if they don't see it and own up to it. Yes, FCs have drama and some don't have good conflict resolution and some don't communicate expectations to members well... but, I feel like the OP is used to a very different game culture (perhaps something more like WoW, where making political incorrect jokes, using slurs jokingly all the time, and being an asshole to new players is kinda the norm from my prior experience) and doesn't understand how FF14 is different, so labels it as 'toxic positivity' everywhere.
Also, you don't sound like you're giving off toxic positive for being level-headed, reasonable and non reactive when it comes to things Pathra. As long as you don't take it too far and let people walk all over you, those qualities are fantastic in a person. lol
Toxic positivity is an issue in some communities (the new age community is one who suffers it bad lol), and being so positive you're bordering on delusional and you shoot down letting people express their hurt, or "negative" emotions reasonably is damaging. But I find most of the time when people are calling it out like OP is, it's because they're toxic people with no self awareness of their issues, and it's used to blame others. Kinda like when white folks that are also racists gets called out and start trying to claim 'reverse racism' is a thing... 😫🤦
I have a small fc, with a large house in Kraken (Dynamis)...I wish more people wanted to join. I'd be nice talking to people here and there
I have had similar experiences with FCs but unlike this person, I actually see that it was most likely my fault that I didn't particularly get along with anyone.
Thinking back of how I used to act, I realize it was my own mistrust and toxicity that caused me to fall out with a lot of these people and I hope OP did some introspection and understood what he did wrong. Self introspection can be hard but I believe even the most selfloving people can do it.
Not the catgirl hooters thumbnail LOL
This entire chronicle just sounds like OP wants to be an asshole with no social cues and everyone just has to deal with his social ineptness. If that isn't toxic positivity, I don't know what is.
this guy would hate me for naming my hamster after Yasuo
Mr. Judge pants is oblivious.
I would still LOVE to see the story from the FCs perspective. Maybe they find this video and are like "Hold up! OP left out way too much, let us explain this", because I still feel like OP left out a lot, so that OP doesn't look as bad as OP already does.
I also still don't like how OP talked about autistic people. They are now annoying -_-!
And the whole hamster situation was frustrating to listen to. Not because of your reading, but because of the story itself. Just because someone names their pet a certain way, doesn't mean the name is referring to the thing you think of. I for example love the name Fiona, so let's for example say my Chocobo is named Fiona and someone is talking to me and asking me if I like Shrek. I would immediately be like, no, but I like Adventure Time. A name can be a reference to multiple media or even none, since not everyone knows the same characters as you do. OPs reaction was so out of line there, geez...
And last but not least. Saying that everyone in the FF14 community overreacts, while OP themselves overreacted multiple times, is just hilarious to me.
when and where is party?
"Toxic positivity." Yeah, I think he's the toxic one here. I've been told by outside sources that my FC is toxic. But I've never noticed. Maybe it's 'cause I'm toxic myself. Or maybe it's 'cause I just don't spend that much time interacting with them. 🤷🏻♂️
it just seems like final fantasy 14 just isn’t his type of game i think, lmao
all facetiousness aside, this story seems like OP is deliberately leaving things out to make it seem like it’s not his fault despite other players being uncomfortable / annoyed around him because of his behavior
I get the toxic positivity as: "yeah, mental health is important" /proceeds to cancel you until you get depressed and maybe "oof" youself or ignore you and leave you alone instead of trying to help you change good in the moment you stop acting as the rest do also, faking things, faking friendship, and stuff/
My thoughts: OP has no self-awareness, nor awareness of everyone else around them.
most self aware WoW player
Toxic positivity is a real thing, OP is just misusing the hell out of it.
An example of toxic positivity is when you have a friend who's depressed or going through a tough time and you completely ignore/disregard their feelings and/or tell them to not mention it to you because you don't want to deal with any negativity yourself.
FC members not wanting to deal with rude people/other people's drama is not toxic positivity.
When the problem seems to follow you to every FC you go to, it's time to start looking at what the common denominator is-
It's OP.... OP is the common denominator...
that was cringe
Me in the middle of fc 1: "and this is just fc 1"
My understanding of of people calling out toxic positivity in FFXIV is when people try to, for instance, encourage a player who's doing poorly and tells others to let them play how they want. People are often discouraged from giving advice - even friendly, constructive advice - because it is considered toxic by some, so they get annoyed at people being like "You got this! You're doing your best!" So whenever someone complains about toxic positivity, I tend to think they got told off for telling someone they suck at the game.
Look, I know this kind of situations cause of Twitter RP and can tell you. He's gonna end alone the moment his girl finds a community that points out "how toxic is your boyfriend" while having manipulative people among them.
op...it was YOU
OP needs a massage, a hot eucalyptus bath, a cleansing mask and some New Age music on some sound-cancelling headphones
Wow OP and his GF are severely socially inept LOL
Op sounds like someone who would say something horrible to someone in public chat and then be like "why doesn't anyone like me?!" Ngl, I'd have definitely blocked him.
I don’t think this guy realizes where the smelly smell that smells is coming from
OP definitely feels like the villain of the story.
Yeah, I agree with the toxic positivity in the XIV community. Like if you don't think XIV is the best game ever, if you don't think the story is a masterpiece, if EW didn't made you cry, if you don't like Soken's music, if you don't think Yoshi P is god and your best friend you get shunned xD
So it sounds like OP got confused w/ Toxic Positivity and Fair Weather Friends; people who will only associate with you if the "weather" is good, and ditch as soon as you're going through something. Toxic Positivity is a real issue, where people think that ANY negative thought is not allowed at all ever, and inadvertently do a form of emotional suppression by refusing to acknowledge when they're upset.
If I ever find an FC that advertise they're "Drama-free" it's going to be the most drama-filled place in Eorzea lol Cuz the leader will start fights nonstop but god forbid you complain about something.
Sounds like OP fits better with WoW community imo.
Dude sounds like he's one of the people that get offended for others and the last chapter sounds like he was a weirdo on chats
This story was kinda frustrating. Mostly because it hits a big pet peeve of mine from a previous friendship. Playing victim without the full context. Sounds like they omitted a lot to make themselves seem better, or they just genuinely thought they did no wrong. If so many people are randomly blocking you, there's an issue with you. Or you're being bullied, but this story didn't sound like that at all. I hope OP becomes more aware. It's obviously not about players being overly sensitive, but OP not being sensitive and aware enough themselves.
OP is reminding me of why i left WoW that attitude is exactly it. I really was afraid of this infecting FF after others came on over from there during WoWs shadowlands expansion. I didnt want that attitude to come over to FF and become commonplace. Also i am sick of people saying "Toxic positivity" when i grew up in 90s and 00s where respect and not constantly being negative was commonplace. The negativity is why its a problem to interact with people.
"Know matter what people think my stories are fake" ... Ive been reading reddit a lot and I think a lot of stories on there are fake.. but then I went into duty finder the other day and met a "Healer that refuses to dps" and was like... "Omg reddit was right! You people actually exist!" and proceeded to spend the entire duty being like "Is it because you're taking a moral stance against dps?" "Are you allergic to stone?" "Do you view people who dps as lesser beings?" The rest of my party had a good laugh but the healer not so much lol!
OP played to much league. that game changes people, scarrs them for life
there is a reason why i am immediately put off by anyone who goes out of their way to describe themselves as "a pretty chill dude"
tbf, people these days have a thin skin, they get hurt about the most silly things and instead of talking about it like adults they prefer to pretend everything is okay and then just ghost it.
i had a dungeon run where the tank got butthurt coz he/she died first pull and i said tank, put on ur emnity skill. and he/ she was like dont tell me what to do, and left -_-
but just generally irl ppl cant talk anymore when shit gets real, sometimes when u point out stuff they take it as a negative and cant cope with that, while u just say it to like help them i guess.
im not saying OP doesnt have any issues but eeh i can imagine me getting in the same situations as him because i just tell it how it is and ppl dont like that, they prefer to live in their lil safe space.
its not being negative, its being realistic, and alot of ppl are like too positive about everything, wich isnt realistic. might be what he means with toxic positivity.
Bro, sometimes people are actually just jerks. And frankly, these days are actually better than previous generations about being easily offended. People being upset by the simple presence of a black person near them, calling rock music "demonic" etc.
Late to the party with this video but was instantly offended as someone that is diagnosed with ASD myself… There is clearly a lot of holes missing in the story as to the “real reason” he was kicked x2 from FCs… The things he says even make me cringe 😬 his poor girlfriend though
It’s understandable they went back to the WoW community and say they feel comfortable there. Speaking as someone who played wow for 12 years before XIV…
To be honest i even defend OP on the third FC story on the teemo part, if you have vurnable topics like that, make a special channel for that, so everyone knows they should think before saying something, because not everyone brings time and much thought when there online, thats not how it works, this maybe work in RL that you say think before you say something, but not online, online are to many factors that deny that
How can an FC be filled with Toxic positivity? An FC is for gaming. It's a gaming community. People enjoy video games, so it only makes sense they wouldn't really want drama or traumadumping present in their source of entertainment. I mean, there's a time and a place for it. And It shouldn't be in public with people wanting to have fun. Pretty sus imo.
This level of social ineptitude is unfortunately very common in BDO. When all people do in that game is grinding in circles several hours a day, it definitely damages their ability to muster any meaningful conversations outside of "get rekt nerd" or "you're dogsht uninstall the game." I find it kind of hilarious that people immediately blamed WoW when this screamed BDO for me. xD
Any Fc that says they have no drama.... they have drama.
Sounds like this guy that was in my FC for like a week and left, refused to join our discord and complained about us not communicating enough. Even though our hours of play are listed, and we are active. Then went on a tangent that there were not enough males playing and lack of rp... *Side eyes*
tbh i never interacted with my fc, i just joined to steal from the company chest
Honestly I think the teemo comment wasn't the issue, I'm in a few active discords and sometimes it's way too much work to scroll all the way back to the last thing you saw to keep up to date on everything and on the surface it does just seem like a joke about teemo - it just happened to be the straw the broke the camel's back, and their response to it was the biggest issue and definitely shows that there were more things going on that we weren't told about.
The title "All my FC's suck and dont know why" already did sound strange and red flag like. Maybe the op should think about the possibility that not everyone else sucks but maybe the OP does at times atleast? If everyone kicks me out whereever i go, i would reflect atleast in parts on myself instead of blaming the whole world around me. ^^
Even tho I don't think OP is innocent in ANY WAY I somehow can relate to this story. FFXIV is a great game which I came back to a few times over the years, but as a solo player mostly and just for the story - NOT for the MMO part of the game. I joined a few FCs, never clicked with anybody, talking to people generally feels like walking on eggshells and kind of immature. All other games (YES WoW included) I've played with either IRL friends or quite qickly found people ingame, some of them became IRL friends too. To this day I really don't know what it is about the FFXIV community ...connections seem mostly forced, fake (-positive) or based on erotic stuff😅 but on a positive note: it's ok - to each their own ♥ this way everyone finds their online home (that rhymes)
Yeah I dont like op. Bashing autsic people like myself really sucks. I depise people for that. Everyone is werid so what who cares. I woulda lost it if someone said that to me. He needs to understand people feelings
In my opinion: Meowy was OP's side piece, and when she got back together with the old BF he was upset. Then OP changed servers cause Meowy was about to tell her truth and annihilate OP's relationship. In the two other stories, OP being a dick or fumbling the convo, and feeling dispirited after taking the L.
If i'm being completely honest, I also have a huge problem with the FFXIV community as a whole. I love the game, and I think there can be some genuinely nice people, but there is so much drama dumping on a constant basis. It's like everyone wants to argue and views themselves as better than others. In terms of toxic positivity, it's almost like a dick measuring contest on who's the nicest and best person to be around, even though at the end of the day, they're all manipulative and self-entitled people. There are so many people who can't take a joke, can't take any form of criticism, and they want absolutely no negativity in any form, even if the "negativity" is in the form of helping people improve.
A huge part of this is because of how the lgbtq+ community as a whole interacts with both each other and those outside of it. FFXIV has a large lgbtq+ community proportionally to other games. Due to the nature of their concepts of "everyone is equal and can do anything anyone else can do" and "you can't tell me how to live my life", if you say one negative thing, it gets blown out of proportion. I will state, I have no qualms or issues with anyone wanting to do whatever they want with their lives. I don't judge others based on their own life choices...but if you come into an open space where there are plenty of people who have differing opinions and viewpoints, you can't act like a spoiled brat and assume you should get everything you want all the time or that other people can't have opinions. Also, when someone says something that's seen by you to be negative, maybe look at it from a viewpoint other than your own. They may be just trying to help. If you don't want help, just say so, but you don't need to be obnoxious about it. Stop acting like children. Most of these people are in their 20s or 30s and they're acting like toddlers. My 10 year old daughter has more self control and understanding.
the comment to the other girl about being all over her if she was single was DISGUSTING. the poor girl is his gf, i would of broken up with him on the spot for that, op is a freak no sympathy
even tho teemo is a hated character, he is still liked by many people, he is also nicknamed a hampster by many so i feel that is why the person may have named them that. at the end of the day teemo is still a cute hamster yordle doesn't matter what "others think" and it seems that op would never speak at all and only chime in with random rude comments or something negative which is why everyone disliked them. if the only thing you EVER have to say is negative it doesnt matter if you talk alot or not at all, people will still get weird vibes from you,
14:18 giga based
This dude is the worst xDDD This is comedy gold. Also - Oh I'm sure OP thinks before he speaks, he thinks that he's the good guy lmao and everyone else is woke or stupid xdd
this reminds me of the dunning kruger effect, this person is too stupid to comprehend that he is the problem.
sends in this story basicly telling everyone that he is a very bad/toxic person with zero selfawareness.
maybe this comment/s will make him realize it, but i dont think so.
OP is a problem sure, but I’m not sure if he’s the problem. He is rather judgmental and prejudiced in some places for sure and people are likely not liking him for that. And definitely doesn’t think before he speaks. But also some other people do sound like they were gunning for him, but how much is true and how much is rationalisation is another thing
Once theres creatize writing and glorifying events, then it feels fake. Other than those, most the ones youve read sound like theyre true.
5 minutes. That's how long it took me to realize OP is the problem. If you're complaining about "toxic positivity", then maybe you're the toxic one
OP is something else.... there's so much holes to this story....
I feel like OP is the crazy one here
"Toxic positivity" just sounds like a made up word to cop out for being a jerk, so you don't have to acknowledge you're being a jerk lol
It's ok to communicate when you don't like something, but have some tact and mutual respect. I agree, give people the benefit of the doubt.
Nah OP was kind of in the wrong but they werent completely at fault. They had a point about "Toxic Positivity" as they call it but I think what they mean is that people are way too easily offended and quick to assume and go with the nuclear option. It has literally happened in multiple stories where there is a small misunderstanding or disagreement or someone says something another does not like and all goes to hell. OP may not be innocent but they arent completely the problem either.
toxic positivity is pretty much going above and beyond to be a "safe space" but making sure you are mindful of any and all triggers some folk can have.. to a unhealthy degree and that any small offense unintentional or otherwise is met with toxic behavior and fights. Pretty much positivity to a unhealthy level that you don't welcome things like sadness or anger that those are bad feelings to feel.. that everything must be positive all the time.
Stupid stuff happening in the community? Yeah, he's the toxic one the stories are about. When he said WoW Guild it all explained itself... lol.
I hit like for the toxic positivity
desperately want to know what these so called innocent covid jokes were if they really weren't that bad. also the fact that apparently he only fucked up for saying shit about a pet's name when the previous one passed away like... no even if the previous pet didn't pass away that's no fucking excuse to start talking shit out of nowhere bro. dude didn't even get the memo that the hate on teemo is a fandom meme