Yeah, this is exactly how I felt every time I relapsed. I have literally cried in front of my parents and siblings after they have seen me relapse. I was so embarrassed and ashamed, also being one of the oldest
That must be really hard, realizing that you messed your sobriety up and have to start all over again. I imagine when you're in that relapse bender you feel like you missed your chance and will never ever get out of it... The more I learn about all of this the more I admire addicts in recovery. Maybe one day you want to share your relapse stories. I understand if you don't feel comfortable doing that though.
Hey Eva its a miserable cycle your exactly right when the relapse happens its like "screw it" i already used using for 1 hour or 1 week makes no difference its a relapse and then we think we can never get out of it or recovery and that is exactly right. I will share a relapse story on here sometime soon for sure!!!!
We need to stop thinking of sobriety as linear. We need to stop thinking about being perfectly sober all the time. A better mindset I think is to just be sober more than high. Keep track of how many days you have been sober vs how many days you’ve been high. Stop thinking about sobriety as this “streak” and if you fuck up once then that streak is broken and you have to start from the beginning. In reality, you aren’t starting from the beginning, you just went back a level.
@@jzmyboy5620you simply don't understand how addicts minds work and the emotions behind it, our brains work differently then yours, it's okay to not know what it's like I'm glad you don't but until you have walked a mile in someone's shoes I wouldnt be so quick to think you know whats up and to judge..
Maybe not judge but to think you know what we are going through, and what it's like. We can't use "sometimes" it's all in or we don't use at all. There's no in-between, if you can be in-between your probably not an addict your probably someone who just likes doing drugs sometimes. Some people can do that some can't.
It sucks but I feel like many or most people who have a few years+ in recovery all relapsed when the first entered recovery. I did after a year and went from one or two drinks to heroin (f ent) and everything again in like a month. Everyone warns you like "dude dont even do one thing its going to put you right back where you were"... but like you I thought I had it figured out and had to find out for my self. Now 2.5 almost 3 yr clean and sober.
I also agree about the guilt and shame part. it was instantly the second I took one sip and worse when I started dope again. Luckily it was only a few month run and didn't loose everything, I did keep it contained and knew I had to get out of it asap.
Yea it is Carolyn. But I think its essential that we let people know "relapse dose not have to be a part of recovery, but if it happens don't beat yourself up and get back in your program ASAP.
@@Soberdogs I am back at my meetings, I want sobriety. My group loves me. But it took days for me to stop beating myself up. I’ve had a lot to deal with the past year. The death of my husband of 39 years, his cancer diagnosis, and then my dads death too. But I just know I can’t put alcohol in my mouth and I’m good. Thank you for responding. It means a lot. I like your videos 👌
@@goodhandsofE Thanks so much Carolyn, whenever I'm going through anything I increase my meetings at it always helps me get through whatever I'm dealing with You, said it perfect, that drink or drug will only make it worse. Thank you for the support
I was sober for four days for the first time in years and relapsed and now five days sober later I relapsed again. I feel horribly guilty. I did it because I'm so lonely that I couldn't take it. I don't feel good right now I feel ashamed and disappointed and even more sad. I can't imagine how bad it feels after months because I can hardly handle knowing that I threw away five days. I'm so sad.
Stay strong. It’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up. Just keep doing the next right thing. Don’t think about the days or months. Try to stay sober today. And that’s it. If it works do it again tomorrow. Don’t think about 2 months away. Just worry about today You can do it
Hi. Super old video but due to my relapse, I’ve decided to write a comment here as someone who is looking to help, myself as well… my sobriety date began July 2022 and so I am just beginning my own personal journey.. I was doing AMAZING. Not even a hiccup, not thinking about drugs and then one day last week I messed up and thank the lord it has not become a spiral motion down where it took everything from me like the first time around when I was addicted bad. However, anyone who knows about addiction knows that overnight, you can lose everything that you’ve worked so hard to get..thankfully this relapse of mine has not taken everything and I have been able to acknowledge it, look it in the face and now I am working towards slapping it across the face and beating this relapse. I welcome all advice. Even though some people don’t like to receive help from someone who as well if fighting addiction. I believe those who can understand your situation are better at helping out.. my sobriety date began July 2022 and so…I am just beginning my journey. It hurts knowing that I didn’t win this small battle but in my heart, I know that I want to win the war.
@@andrej6949 Thank you Andre for your comment. Also, Your welcome. I hope you are doing great in whatever journey you have put yourself in. 💪🏼 P.S. I’m fighting every day. Every day I win the fight, it is one more day closer to being back in control of my mind, body and soul.
@@5398179 Absolutely in need still. I am currently seeking a center that accepts my free insurance or will offer me a scholarship. I have never had one and honestly just learned about them this year so i do hope someone sees that and extends a hand. Anyways, I am still in my 20s so before i end up regretting my past when im old, i continure giving 100% even if i fail, i much rather keep fighting and failing then to give up and not even try so. I can say im feeling better then i was a year ago, i dont indulge as much and i have seperated myself from negative influences. However, i am not at the point in life and sobriety that i want to be. I am still letting my sobriety effect some of my days at work.
What is sobriety? For me, it's a mindset. It doesn't matter if I relapse. What matters is why, and how I can fix that issue. It has nothing to do with drugs or alcohol.
Those feelings of guilt and shame after a relapse are not at all beneficial for recovery and a person’s mental. Like you said, because of those feelings, we end up using more and just saying fuck it. I don’t get why we think we must be perfect in recovery. I do think that relapse is just a part of life and recovery. You relapsed? Ok, no big deal. It was a mistake. Now get back on track and keep doing what you’ve been doing. One fuck up doesn’t erase everything you’ve been doing and learning since being sober. Quick side note, it’s funny how addicts don’t like society for judging them, but then will judge other addicts for relapsing and treat them just like society would.
I relapse because i just smoke my last joint with weed and i was snorthing 48 hours straight and i just find a little joint with cannabinoids somewhere like 4 pulls i smoke it and after an hour i find myself with a baggie with gram of synthetic cannabinoids....and yes i feel so guilty and so shameful of myself to the point where i can't feel the effect of it 😔and yes i am gonna stop doing it again because it's really painful wish me luck 😭😭
Sober dog need speak to you tho..I'm from CzechoSlovakia, clean for almost 10 years from Heroin and Coke everything was perfect just a few beers per a day...than I met my old best friend I haven't seen for ages..we did ,,just morphine pills 60 together as a friends do /we called it...😢 Robert passed away 6 months after with some brutal injuries after PUB fight and that ruined my life completely...HE LEFT 3yrs old daughter and wife behind, a lot of good friends and parents... Still doing Morphine as ADDICT which I just can't stop...I am sure I deffo want my life back even with my loss, I know it will Hurt as hell...
I think Sam means that, just like drug/alcohol addiction, porn addiction can cause the same remorse/guilt that leads one to relapse. Personally, I've dealt with an eating addiction. While I've been two years "sober" now, the remorse/guilt/regret one feels and the "normalization" of the addiction itself can make it really difficult to overcome (much like porn addiction). I'm not saying that they're worse or better than drug/alcohol addiction (which can be quite deadly), I'm just saying that the struggle with all addictions is real. To everyone with any kind of addiction: You can do this. Sometimes you'll fail, and sometimes you'll succeed. It's a bumpy road to recovery, but you'll make it if you pick yourself up and keep on trying.
Why does she (my AD) say she'll go to rehab, but not sick(DOC was oxy, now injecting H or whatever is available) ? I keep saying "it's just an excuse to use". Really wanna know what's true here?
@@Soberdogs Exactly. Meaning she Must use so she doesn't get sick "because the doctor never comes in until the next day!". I say that's BS!! What is the detox part of the rehab for, then!? She says I just don't understand because I've never been, but I do all the calling and asking of the questions beforehand. Well, I did for the first 6 or 7.
@@cjgia4898 it’s because the detox part is so much torture and until you’re able to see the doctor and be prescribed meds that will make it more bearable that you would rather use beforehand so that you’re not extremely sick while you’re doing the intake process. When someone says being sick is like having the flu times a thousand, they are just talking about the physical pain and the mental anguish that comes with getting clean is just as bad, if not worse. I don’t know of any addict that goes to rehab sick and until you have experienced that level of torture, desperation, and despair then it’s really hard to describe it to someone who’s never been through it.
@@krystin3628 Thank you! So, when she's using and I'm not around, And, therefore she isn't gonna say "hey, I wanna go to detox" how can she go? If I had esp and knew exactly when she used and I could call and say "hey, about about a nice drive to detox"? , that would be nice. It's a viscous cycle and I just want it to stop. I have a headache and I feel dizzy from the damn cycle spinning! I just want her to want to get clean and healthy and stop this. She's missing out on everything. But the biggest thing is her son!
@@cjgia4898 That’s the hardest thing because until she is ready to get clean there’s nothing you can do to make her want to go. But just letting her know that you’ll be ready to take her and be there for her is huge!! I have the opposite problem. I’m on methadone and I hate it and I want off so I can be an even better mom. My mom is an alcoholic and lives across the country. I know I need a 3-6 month treatment facility in order for it to be effective for me and my daughter’s family can only give me a month tops to watch her because they all work too. I wish I had a mom that was willing and able to help. Your daughter has no idea how blessed she is to have a mom that doesn’t want to give up. I’ll keep you in my prayers that she ends up wanting to change. Until then just support her (but don’t enable her) and just let her know that you’re always going to be there when she’s ready. Addicts already beat themselves up every single day for the way we are. So judgement is the last thing we need. Sometimes the hardest people to love are the ones who need it the most!!! Good luck to you both!!
Really, so let's encourage people to "go right back in" to rehab and meetings, where you're made to feel that relapse equals complete disaster and fear and panic is instilled to brainwash you into living up to a narrative that only ends up with rehabs making more money from repeat clients. And then they're sent back out to 12 step meetings, where this fear is further instilled, not to mention a cult atmosphere where critical thinking and individual opinion is not valued. Yea, good idea.
Yeah, this is exactly how I felt every time I relapsed. I have literally cried in front of my parents and siblings after they have seen me relapse. I was so embarrassed and ashamed, also being one of the oldest
That must be really hard, realizing that you messed your sobriety up and have to start all over again. I imagine when you're in that relapse bender you feel like you missed your chance and will never ever get out of it... The more I learn about all of this the more I admire addicts in recovery. Maybe one day you want to share your relapse stories. I understand if you don't feel comfortable doing that though.
Hey Eva its a miserable cycle your exactly right when the relapse happens its like "screw it" i already used using for 1 hour or 1 week makes no difference its a relapse and then we think we can never get out of it or recovery and that is exactly right. I will share a relapse story on here sometime soon for sure!!!!
We need to stop thinking of sobriety as linear. We need to stop thinking about being perfectly sober all the time. A better mindset I think is to just be sober more than high. Keep track of how many days you have been sober vs how many days you’ve been high. Stop thinking about sobriety as this “streak” and if you fuck up once then that streak is broken and you have to start from the beginning. In reality, you aren’t starting from the beginning, you just went back a level.
@@jzmyboy5620you simply don't understand how addicts minds work and the emotions behind it, our brains work differently then yours, it's okay to not know what it's like I'm glad you don't but until you have walked a mile in someone's shoes I wouldnt be so quick to think you know whats up and to judge..
Maybe not judge but to think you know what we are going through, and what it's like. We can't use "sometimes" it's all in or we don't use at all. There's no in-between, if you can be in-between your probably not an addict your probably someone who just likes doing drugs sometimes. Some people can do that some can't.
It sucks but I feel like many or most people who have a few years+ in recovery all relapsed when the first entered recovery. I did after a year and went from one or two drinks to heroin (f ent) and everything again in like a month. Everyone warns you like "dude dont even do one thing its going to put you right back where you were"... but like you I thought I had it figured out and had to find out for my self. Now 2.5 almost 3 yr clean and sober.
I also agree about the guilt and shame part. it was instantly the second I took one sip and worse when I started dope again. Luckily it was only a few month run and didn't loose everything, I did keep it contained and knew I had to get out of it asap.
Thank you for sharing this. ❤️
This helps me understand relapse alot better from the addicts point of view
Thanks ma!!!! Thats my goal!!!!
Its heartbreaking to relapse. Truly the worst.
Yea it is Carolyn. But I think its essential that we let people know "relapse dose not have to be a part of recovery, but if it happens don't beat yourself up and get back in your program ASAP.
@@Soberdogs I am back at my meetings, I want sobriety. My group loves me. But it took days for me to stop beating myself up. I’ve had a lot to deal with the past year. The death of my husband of 39 years, his cancer diagnosis, and then my dads death too. But I just know I can’t put alcohol in my mouth and I’m good. Thank you for responding. It means a lot. I like your videos 👌
@@goodhandsofE Thanks so much Carolyn, whenever I'm going through anything I increase my meetings at it always helps me get through whatever I'm dealing with You, said it perfect, that drink or drug will only make it worse. Thank you for the support
I was sober for four days for the first time in years and relapsed and now five days sober later I relapsed again. I feel horribly guilty. I did it because I'm so lonely that I couldn't take it. I don't feel good right now I feel ashamed and disappointed and even more sad. I can't imagine how bad it feels after months because I can hardly handle knowing that I threw away five days. I'm so sad.
Stay strong. It’s ok. Don’t beat yourself up. Just keep doing the next right thing. Don’t think about the days or months. Try to stay sober today. And that’s it. If it works do it again tomorrow. Don’t think about 2 months away. Just worry about today You can do it
Hi. Super old video but due to my relapse, I’ve decided to write a comment here as someone who is looking to help, myself as well… my sobriety date began July 2022 and so I am just beginning my own personal journey.. I was doing AMAZING. Not even a hiccup, not thinking about drugs and then one day last week I messed up and thank the lord it has not become a spiral motion down where it took everything from me like the first time around when I was addicted bad. However, anyone who knows about addiction knows that overnight, you can lose everything that you’ve worked so hard to get..thankfully this relapse of mine has not taken everything and I have been able to acknowledge it, look it in the face and now I am working towards slapping it across the face and beating this relapse.
I welcome all advice. Even though some people don’t like to receive help from someone who as well if fighting addiction. I believe those who can understand your situation are better at helping out.. my sobriety date began July 2022 and so…I am just beginning my journey. It hurts knowing that I didn’t win this small battle but in my heart, I know that I want to win the war.
Great commet sound like a really good support, appreciate it
@@andrej6949 Thank you Andre for your comment.
Also,
Your welcome. I hope you are doing great in whatever journey you have put yourself in. 💪🏼
P.S. I’m fighting every day. Every day I win the fight, it is one more day closer to being back in control of my mind, body and soul.
How are you doing now
@@5398179 Absolutely in need still. I am currently seeking a center that accepts my free insurance or will offer me a scholarship. I have never had one and honestly just learned about them this year so i do hope someone sees that and extends a hand. Anyways, I am still in my 20s so before i end up regretting my past when im old, i continure giving 100% even if i fail, i much rather keep fighting and failing then to give up and not even try so. I can say im feeling better then i was a year ago, i dont indulge as much and i have seperated myself from negative influences. However, i am not at the point in life and sobriety that i want to be. I am still letting my sobriety effect some of my days at work.
What is sobriety? For me, it's a mindset. It doesn't matter if I relapse. What matters is why, and how I can fix that issue. It has nothing to do with drugs or alcohol.
That is exactly how it feels to relapse. Thanks. Nicely explained.
I could care less at this point. I am in so much pain, my leg fucking hurts so bad everyday and life is just depressing. 1 years and a half sober.
My cat’s not sober.... dude goes through like 2 grams of catnip a day! 🤦♂️
hahahah mine too I swear they get high as a kite on that stuff what do you think lol???
Thank you for this. ps: Need more of Sober cat : ) 🖤
hahah the sobercat is with you love itt
thanks my dude!!!!!!!
Those feelings of guilt and shame after a relapse are not at all beneficial for recovery and a person’s mental. Like you said, because of those feelings, we end up using more and just saying fuck it. I don’t get why we think we must be perfect in recovery. I do think that relapse is just a part of life and recovery. You relapsed? Ok, no big deal. It was a mistake. Now get back on track and keep doing what you’ve been doing. One fuck up doesn’t erase everything you’ve been doing and learning since being sober. Quick side note, it’s funny how addicts don’t like society for judging them, but then will judge other addicts for relapsing and treat them just like society would.
SOBER DOGSSSSSSSSS YEEE BUDDY
I feel really guilty before relapsing because I know im going to do it and then once im high I dont care until ive ran out and sick again
I relapse because i just smoke my last joint with weed and i was snorthing 48 hours straight and i just find a little joint with cannabinoids somewhere like 4 pulls i smoke it and after an hour i find myself with a baggie with gram of synthetic cannabinoids....and yes i feel so guilty and so shameful of myself to the point where i can't feel the effect of it 😔and yes i am gonna stop doing it again because it's really painful wish me luck 😭😭
Sober dog need speak to you tho..I'm from CzechoSlovakia, clean for almost 10 years from Heroin and Coke everything was perfect just a few beers per a day...than I met my old best friend I haven't seen for ages..we did ,,just morphine pills 60 together as a friends do /we called it...😢
Robert passed away 6 months after with some brutal injuries after PUB fight and that ruined my life completely...HE LEFT 3yrs old daughter and wife behind, a lot of good friends and parents...
Still doing Morphine as ADDICT which I just can't stop...I am sure I deffo want my life back even with my loss, I know it will Hurt as hell...
I love you
I feel gutted during a relapse. I'm on a relapse on oxy after having no opiates for two and a half weeks.
I like the emotional support cat 😁
Hey are you still doing this channel? I am on LI in New York, and would love to talk to you about some of these things.
Just curious. Why do you say "drugs OR alcohol"?
HEYYY KYLE....RELAPSE IS AWFUL...THE GUILT I FELT WAS AWFUL...
i agree the guilt afterwards is insane so much shame
yea i think that keeps us in the relapse cycle Debb. We want to go back to recovery but we feel so much pain and guilt its insane.
How long has the kitty been off the nip for
❤
Sounds like extreme cognitive dissonance
Not only porn addicts are the ones to relapse xD
What you said is really accurate on our side too.
Stay strong brothers
Thanks so much and same to you!!!! What do u mean not only porn addicts are the one to relapse?
I think Sam means that, just like drug/alcohol addiction, porn addiction can cause the same remorse/guilt that leads one to relapse.
Personally, I've dealt with an eating addiction. While I've been two years "sober" now, the remorse/guilt/regret one feels and the "normalization" of the addiction itself can make it really difficult to overcome (much like porn addiction). I'm not saying that they're worse or better than drug/alcohol addiction (which can be quite deadly), I'm just saying that the struggle with all addictions is real.
To everyone with any kind of addiction: You can do this. Sometimes you'll fail, and sometimes you'll succeed. It's a bumpy road to recovery, but you'll make it if you pick yourself up and keep on trying.
Sorry for the long comment.
Why does she (my AD) say she'll go to rehab, but not sick(DOC was oxy, now injecting H or whatever is available) ?
I keep saying "it's just an excuse to use".
Really wanna know what's true here?
wait explain it a little more to me? she said she will go to rehab but she wont go to rehab when shes sick?
@@Soberdogs Exactly. Meaning she Must use so she doesn't get sick "because the doctor never comes in until the next day!". I say that's BS!! What is the detox part of the rehab for, then!? She says I just don't understand because I've never been, but I do all the calling and asking of the questions beforehand. Well, I did for the first 6 or 7.
@@cjgia4898 it’s because the detox part is so much torture and until you’re able to see the doctor and be prescribed meds that will make it more bearable that you would rather use beforehand so that you’re not extremely sick while you’re doing the intake process. When someone says being sick is like having the flu times a thousand, they are just talking about the physical pain and the mental anguish that comes with getting clean is just as bad, if not worse. I don’t know of any addict that goes to rehab sick and until you have experienced that level of torture, desperation, and despair then it’s really hard to describe it to someone who’s never been through it.
@@krystin3628 Thank you! So, when she's using and I'm not around, And, therefore she isn't gonna say "hey, I wanna go to detox" how can she go? If I had esp and knew exactly when she used and I could call and say "hey, about about a nice drive to detox"? , that would be nice. It's a viscous cycle and I just want it to stop. I have a headache and I feel dizzy from the damn cycle spinning! I just want her to want to get clean and healthy and stop this. She's missing out on everything. But the biggest thing is her son!
@@cjgia4898 That’s the hardest thing because until she is ready to get clean there’s nothing you can do to make her want to go. But just letting her know that you’ll be ready to take her and be there for her is huge!! I have the opposite problem. I’m on methadone and I hate it and I want off so I can be an even better mom. My mom is an alcoholic and lives across the country. I know I need a 3-6 month treatment facility in order for it to be effective for me and my daughter’s family can only give me a month tops to watch her because they all work too. I wish I had a mom that was willing and able to help. Your daughter has no idea how blessed she is to have a mom that doesn’t want to give up. I’ll keep you in my prayers that she ends up wanting to change. Until then just support her (but don’t enable her) and just let her know that you’re always going to be there when she’s ready. Addicts already beat themselves up every single day for the way we are. So judgement is the last thing we need. Sometimes the hardest people to love are the ones who need it the most!!! Good luck to you both!!
Horrible. Program and God mixed with being high ugh plus the hell of a hangover. Not worth it
Really, so let's encourage people to "go right back in" to rehab and meetings, where you're made to feel that relapse equals complete disaster and fear and panic is instilled to brainwash you into living up to a narrative that only ends up with rehabs making more money from repeat clients. And then they're sent back out to 12 step meetings, where this fear is further instilled, not to mention a cult atmosphere where critical thinking and individual opinion is not valued.
Yea, good idea.