5 Years Of Brutally Honest Relationship Advice In 20 Mins
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- Опубликовано: 11 июн 2024
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Хобби
Man I lucked out when it came to women.
I just had one woman my entire life.
We met at 14, dating at 16 , Married at 19.
Learned everything together and grew every day in love.
33 years of marriage and loved her more every day.
Mutual respect and appreciation.
Cancer stole her from me 3 months ago and now Im forced into complete loneliness at 53.
Trying to stay busy and roll with the punches till I see her again.
I’m so sorry you lost her.
Many men live their entire lives without knowing the love you have for her. I am set to marry my high school sweetheart in October. She is my world. I am happy to know there are other men out there that have experienced this type of love and it validates me to know I am not crazy for marrying young (24). I am sorry for your loss brother.
I am also sorry you lost her. Our stories are very similar. Now we climb a different mountain. I wish you the best.
❤😭 Stay strong. Lean on God and support group❤
@@coreyfletcher4806
Thats awesome!
The younger the better especially if you are Committed to eachother for life as one flesh.
We talked a lot before marriage and had some pretty solid plans and goals.
We couldnt wait to become adults so much so that we bought our first place together before we even graduated high school and one of our main goals in life was to be debt-free as much as possible our next house we built by hand ourselves at 19 years old. She was a bookworm and spent a lot of time at the library every week and she would come home with how to books and plop them on my lap and said here you go, honey, and I just sucked that stuff up like a sponge and learned all I could learn about the building trades, welding, you name it. I was big into cars and was an auto mechanic by trade, and I worked at one of the last full service gas stations and two other jobs. We had five jobs between the two of us and we worked really hard to get where we are today. There’s just way too much to list that we did in life, but everything we did was based on mutual respect, communication, absolute love for one another and appreciation for each other. I had my strong suits and she had her strong suits and everything in between we just picked up the slack when the other one wasn’t there. If The dishes needed done and somebody was there they would do the dishes. If dinner cooked and the other one wasn’t there, then we would cook dinner, change diapers, laundry, take out the trash. Everything was equal. We stayed away from creature, comforts, new cars, expensive hobbies, and invested in our future and in our kids future everything was a team effort, annd not a day went by without me telling her she was the most beautiful woman on the planet. It was really hard letting her go, but there’s a lot to be said for being good parents and investing in your children because they really showed me how much they appreciated me after she passed by the way they helped me and treated me and loved me, I can only imagine how hard it would’ve been if I was a real asshole, but thank God I wasn’t. My wife was a very special person, and everybody that knew her said the same thing that she was the most motivated, selfless, godly woman who lived life just as the Lord would’ve instructed, but she never bragged about it and never preached to anybody, she just did it quietly and humbly and people just looked in amazement at the way she handled things and took care of things and figured things out almost instantly she was by far the most intelligent person I’ve ever met and I’ve met a lot of intelligent people in my life. Yes I will see her again.
Alcohol and pornography are two things you should not touch. Word to the wise.
Absolutely true!
Not even occasional(wedding - birthdays)
In your opinion what’s about the pornography that is not right? Why a lot of people are so afraid, scared about it or they have 0 tolerance towards that? They’re just people doing their job for the majority of cases, others do them for fun, so what is the actual problem? Cause i’m not able to find it. Thanks
@@RedHead1995 I don’t have an issue with it morally if it’s conducted in a upfront fair manner, the problem is that the use of anything by a man that provides this kind of pleasure is going to completely drain him of the drive and focus he needs to remain within his purpose and his masculine framewords, it’s just another drug you can argue about what degree of drug is effectively it’s another drug and it’s one that men should stay away from
@@gothamindembaum Ok, now i get the point where this is coming from and i agree almost 100% with your opinion. I’m sure there are worse thing out there then j*****g off a video. Of course the ones that are doing it are wasting time and focus. If it becomes a drug, then it is the person that have a problem with it, not the porn itself. It is the same as watching netflix. If you watch an episode every once in a while, you are in control of the situation, but, if you are binge watching 7 episodes each day you may have a problem, isn’t it? If i’m able to do so, i’m sure there are others that can do that
…I was in a beautiful relationship with my late husband for 30 years…we didn’t rule each other…we respected, honored and loved one another…he is gone, but my love for him is never ending!
Love to you and your husband ❤️
they will always watch over us
I'm sad for you that he's gone but happy for you that you got to experience something that beautiful with mutual respect in your life 😊. I'm 41 and I hope I get to experience what you guys had once in my life 🤞. Any relationship advice will be much appreciated friend 🙂
I’m so sorry for your loss. I am wishing you well and hope you’re doing okay
@@RositaHuff-yx2bg
Same here.
4 months without my angel.
It’s pretty rough.
Its mine and my husband's 30-year anniversary this month. We both came into the relationship with absolutely nothing to offer but our hearts. We built a life and a beautiful family together. The day our daughter was born, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. After the initial shock, we just put our heads together and said together we will fight and beat this. Our daughter is 23 now, and he is still healthy and well. I'm his rock, and he is mine. We are a team, and we are blessed to have found each other.
❤
Thank God for your family 😊
Beautiful ❤️
How did you guys beat this? Great story!
Amazing 👏 ❤
“I could easily eat pasta with tomatoes everyday, but do I want my wife to do that? No..” words to live by. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Me, as an Italian eating pasta several times a week🥲
He actually said that he enjoyed this lifestyle, but he doesn’t want it for his wife and kid. If it’s enjoyable, why?
I always end up getting the advice I needed after the relationship is over 😂
Real😂
"When the student is ready the teacher will appear"
same haha
Too funny 😂
You’ll definitely know it for the next one!
"Being passive will not achieve anything. Nothing changes by continuing to live the same life." Good quote my guy
I walked away after 9 painful years with a man with a detached anxious attachment style. He absolutely would not ever hear me, see me, or work on his issues. I feel like I now experience anxiety when I think of ever entering a relationship again, and truly feel peace in the idea of being alone. I know what to expect from myself I know I can rely on myself.
Great video I very much agree I hope your message reaches those in need and I pray the are able to understand.
Amen
Listen to your gut. If you feel anxious, it isn't the time. Might just take some time or might never be the case 🤷 whatever you choose is okay.
I was surrounded by toxic, abusive for relationships for years. And honestly some of the most peaceful and enlightening years of my life were when I was single and completely alone. And now I am nearly 4 years deep into a happy relationship that has taught me so much... Life is about seasons. So honor yourself and whatever feels right ❤ you'll get through this!
❤so relate
That's avoidant
Having butterflies in your stomach shoud motivate you to take things slower. I as a man have a lot of anxious elements in my attachment style and i always take things slower than "men should". Like i don't actually want to sleep with a woman as early as possible. And that is okay. Because i feel it to be okay. I wish you the best of success with feeling your way.
I'm still young, and like everyone I'm aware of what my parents missed out on in my education. My advice to younger people is that, if you're an introvert (or socially anxious, unsocial/antisocial/idk, etc), you absolutely have to force yourself to go out more (not talking about alcoholic nights hu), talk more, take more initiative, and so on.
Let's take an example: you're scared to dance? If you're worried about being criticized or judged, you should know that those in the middle of the dance floor are much less likely to be criticized than the guys sitting in the chairs next to the walls of the room. Just go and force yourself. And THEN you'll see how staying in the corner have made you less and less confident all because of your fear, and how now you enjoy what was scaring you.
You won't have many opportunities to build your self-confidence if you stay isolated; it's built through contact with others. You know, I used to hate most exchanges, because all I could see was people's hypocrisy. Now I accept it because we're all a bit hypocritical and there's always a certain amount of small talk when you start a relationship before you can get to the heart of the matter.
Pornography ruined my marriage because he got addicted to it and later decided the real thing was better and started seeing other women. 44 Years of my life wasted...while he was having fun outside the marriage.
I’ve heard this same or similar story over and over and over from women. It’s so fricken sad and pathetic that we don’t even know how to talk about it and more men aren’t warned they will lose literally everything
Maybe it wasn't pronography. Maybe it was that you didn't ensure that you were attractive enough for your man. No hard feelings intended
The key is communication… I’m guessing he didn’t want to have to tell you how important it is for you to be satisfying him regularly, which caused a drift sexually. Sometimes we don’t communicate out of stubbornness and sometimes we just don’t have the words and expect resistance or a loss of respect.
@@heisenburg8608When I was in a relationship with a porn addict I had a HUGE libido, just insatiable at the time I could have happily hopped on him 3 times a day, but he only wanted sex once every two weeks. It’s devastating to your self esteem to be with a man like this. Just leave them to their brokenness and go find a man that actually wants YOU.
Alcohol ruined me . 💔
I live by your rules. Keep myself attractive to my man , challenge my man to level up mentally or physically so none of us ever felt settling for less. This is a growth mindset and we need more of this kind of conversation, so men can have healthy masculine and women lean into healthy feminine.
Could you please explain what you mean by levelling up physically? Does it mean being in shape and healthy or more things? I'm curious because I'm currently having an issue with my boyfriend of almost 4 yrs that he started pointing out that he would be happier in the relationship if I did some cosmetic surgery procedures (lips, frowning wrinkle, considering fillers) and I'm not sure if this is something I should do for him because I honestly never before considered this kind of procedures
Do not do it@aleksandraj7873 no one has the right to force you or suggest that you change your self, especially put your health to please him.. tell em to go get his barbie Bimbo somewhere else, they are all over. Respect yourself and if he can't accept you as you are, I'd say move on baby. Bye bye, cause one day it maybe your greatest regret. Blessings
@@aleksandraj7873hello darling. He should accept you as you are if he genuinely loves you. He is seemingly coming from a very shallow place within himself if he thinks you need surgery.
You should never have surgery to keep a man. If he doesn’t see you as good enough as you are let him be with someone who only cares about their looks.
You want to be with someone who values all that you are. Work on your self worth there are lots of useful self love affirmations on you tube. They imbed positive thoughts in your mind so you realise your own worth. Much love ❤️
@@aleksandraj7873oh hell no don’t do it girl it’s not worth it, if he doesn’t want to be with a naturally beautiful woman, he can leave and find that fake stuff somewhere else. Don’t let that man take your precious face away, you won’t be happy in the future if you do it! I’m sorry he even asked you to do such a thing 😭💔
@@aleksandraj7873sorry love but u have to be stupid to even consider something like that or even say it... Have some self respect..
This hit hard. Especially the part about being anxiously attached. It's so hard to fight it sometimes. This was great advice!
It’s a barrier made by you to keep you comfortable… freedom is on the other side of that wall
Man that was so deep! Thanks brow!
Very good. I couldn’t express those principles better myself, so you did it, and I’m grateful to you fot that.
As a not-completely-hopeless degenerate, who deludes himself while being single out of these brutal but healthy truths, I want to thank you. Thank you for sharing this with us negative people at the cost of hearing our pain, stupidity, and chaos.
"True happiness is that which is shared". Really good video, bro! Cheers from Brazil!
Just came across your channel- watched this video from start to finish! Thank you for the work you are doing, and the embodiment you are dedicated to. We need more heart centered men leaders. I am honored whenever I come across them & witness their leadership. Thank you for your commitment. I look forward to seeing more of your content!
Thank you Bene! This gave me closure from my last relationship. I'm going to do better to heal my anxious attachment!
Your podcasts are great, very thoughtful, reflective and deep. I'd like to hear more from you, you help me grow 🙏🧡🙏
Thankfully the algorithms landed me here on your videos! Much respect to you for putting this message out. 🙏.
This is the greatest relationship advice video I have ever seen. Props. You just earned a new subscriber. Everything you said was true
This is the most solid and honest advice and information I've seen. This man has lived it, he has walked the walk, so what he says comes from the heart. Thank you!
I feel validation and connection in the truths you speak. I appreciate your candid philosophies! And the way you present yourself on RUclips is anti-algorithmic, which I see and appreciate as well! Thank you for being so open about yourself and your own challenges and outcomes from having loved, and loving. I trust that you continue on this path, and it is inspiring. So, thank you for being you!
the most anti algoithmic title ever : 5 Years Of Brutally Honest Relationship Advice In 20 Mins
anti-algorithmic? you gotta be kidding me this video was suggested to me by algorithm. what does anti-algorithmic even mean for you?..
Right out of the gate you’re dropping good Information !!👍🏾
The example with the finish line is so on point. Doing things purely for your own gratification (without others) is such an easy way to lose
This was an amazing video. Thank you brother, for taking the time to make this.
This is great advice and Information. I wanted and worked for all of this however I can admit I didn’t have boundaries at all let alone good ones. And unfortunately a textbook narcissist will never listen to this because their egos are just too big and yet so fragile.
Man I just want to say I'm so glad I came across your channel. The last year or so I got out of a pretty rough relationship. I'm still putting the pieces together and trying to figure out what happened. My conclusion is so far, a lot of the bad that happened in the relationship stemmed from my perception of the world. I rushed into a relationship with someone I really didn't know because I was scared to be alone. Unfortunately, she had a lot of personal problems as well. As you can imagine it didn't go well because I was also a person with a lot of personal problems(I just didn't realize it yet). The last year or so I've spiraled into this "Red pill" state of mind about women and dating in general. I've been fighting the last few weeks to try to correct this thinking and your videos have restored so much hope. All I can do it try to become the best person I can and change my mindset and hopefully I can attract a woman who is good for me. Keep putting out content brother.
Hi bene, this video has helped me more than I think you'll ever know. I've been struggling in my relationship and have known it was due to my shortcomings. This has provided me the clarity of vision to do what needs to be done for us both. Thank you.
Danke vielmals :) Many good insights here.
Needed this, thanks man
Amazing video bro! You deserve all the good stuff that will happen to you
Great video! I really liked the part about who should be making the decisions.
You are a wise man. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with others. ❤. More men need to be encouraged by this video.
I’m glad to hear that it’s not exclusively in the United States that society at large has several failings (parents, education system, government). I try not to view it negatively, just something born from ignorance, lack of understanding, indifference, etc. that people can work on if they help each other. Very amazing video by the way, thank you for sharing!
Bene, thank you for this video. I see lots of love in you, real one. All things that you mentioned resonated with me, i came to the same conclusions on my own. Now i feel like i have a friend in Germany, cause i am in Germany too.
That was profound. Thank you for that.
I am before my 20's. over the last couple of years I used to grind for my purpose and build discipline that pushed me forward all the time. 9 months ago I met my girl and I know she is the love of my life. I just know that. but thigs got tough man. I started studying and after long stressful days I got back to my porn addiction. I feel like i lost all my power and will and the worst thing is that it affects my realationship so hard that I can't hide it. thank you for your words. now I'm only shadow of the men I was and the man I could be but I will fight and find my strength to grow my happiness back again. big love to all of you people either struggling or living your life!!
This last point hits home for most aspects of life!!
Glad to see that maturity doesn't necessarily have to be linked to age. That gives me hope. Sometimes I feel like an alien with my view and demands on relationships and a partner for life. Thank you!
I want to join the group, but I'm not ready yet. I now have a reason to be ready, and I'll join then.
Fear and habit will not destroy me. I'll continue watching as I overcome it, preparing for the next level. This is probably the most important video I've ever watched - brutal, realistic, actually substantive, yet so hopeful.
on point, precise and wise advices!
Amazing video brother 🙏
Thank you Ryan!
I am a female and love all your videos. I have recommended it to my brother x
First time watching, I subscribed. Thanks brother great advice. Look forward to checking out more content
Amazing advice. I am very pleased with this video. Contraception can be very nasty.
i’m 23, just started a new relationship a couple months ago. To be honest, it was a really rough start with a good share of trust issues. Fortunately we’ve had productive discussions and are actively working out our natural kinks. But just like your relationship, my girl can’t finish during sex, and I admit i’ve inevitably internalized it a bit. Making my girl finish has never been a problem until now. But i’ve taken your advice to not be passive and instead commit to making our relationship even deeper, and I can say it’s definitely helping. Definitely going to put more effort into being the leader in the relationship. Thanks for the sound advice
The runner metaphor is very meaningful indeed, never looked at it from that angle. The process and purpose not being one of speed but of certainty, really hit. Also, this video came at the right time. Now-a-days we have lots of advice and videos that linger more than it would be healthy on the more bitter and hardened side, but this one is a rare equilibrium of wisdom and playfulness, you can see it does come from the heart. Thank you!
"Being passive wont change anything". What a thing to think about, and it's right. It's often not the time, but the actions taken during that time that change the situation. This right now has pushed me over the edge to go try something that i was considering for way too long actually. But there is only one way to find out, and that is by actively trying to change my situation. Thanks for the inspiration
Playing this on repeat. Some reason it calms me.
Thank you for the knowledge
thank you man.
Porn and Cigarettes kills your drive. Get over it
The triple threat. Porn, cigarettes, and alcohol.
@@eternalbliss5189 For me Cigarettes were the worst decision. After lots of cajoling I got my lady ready for the act and she just got on my nerves. When the time came it felt like I was playing pool with a rope. Those packs of Cigarettes a day fk d my day.
Not to mention all the other issues these things cause !
Reading this comment while smoking, can only wonder why you say cigarettes kill your drive? What're your experiences?
Alcohol and Pornography are the worst relationship destroyers,my guy is addicted to both things on a daily,and i suffer in silence,a really bad situation 😮😢time to say goodbye 👋
Show him this video maybe
Yeah don't give up on him encourage him to wing off for rewards..it's his only way to live
don’t give up!!
Been there. Glad I left. No need to settle !!
Same, and I just left. It’s time you detached, you are worth so much more. ❤
this was such an important video, amazing advice
This account is a gem !!
Thk u laura great information for men ❤❤❤
Thank you
This is the first video of yours that I've ever watched and I think your advices are something I needed to hear. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and own experiences.
I do have a question about how to go about challenging a man with the intention of love and respect. I think I just don't know how to do that because I have no solid, healthy examples of it in my life.
My ex boyfriend broke up with me out of the blue after 10 months of dating reason being he said he was unsure about his feelings towards me. This was 2 months ago and I'm self reflecting and trying to understand how to be a better partner in my future relationships. Any advice would be appreciated and if you have any examples you're willing to share about how your girlfriend went about challenging you and supporting your growth together as a couple, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you 🙏🏻
Agree 100%. Time doesn't fix things unless you already have a long term solution and are applying it over time.
Good message. Love the diamond platinum oura ring bro
Beautiful landscape, it looks like the Alsace region
Incredible. Subscribed.
this is so relatable to my life right now
Thanks
I have noticed, as I'm sure many have, that there are a growing number of RUclips gurus who have "the answer". This does not seem like that. The advice you give seems sincere and there is wisdom in your words. Thanks for the thoughtful content.
Love can conquers all🙏❤️
As soon as you mentioned no porn I subbed !! So glad there’s still wise men like you out there.. it actually gives me hope ❤️❤️
So much wisdom
Just submitted my request to join your community!🤙🏼
@Bene Ri Hi, Loved the video. Could you expand a bit on how you got rid of the anxious part of yourself and got to a secure place? I'm finding myself in the same situation right now.
This kind of mindset needs to be mainstream .
Also recognize the role of the unconscious; your ego self is just a superficial reflection of things subliminal
That video really resonated with me. I'm a German national too. Unfortunately you rejected my group request.
Be good to people
Fully agreed
This is so William Wallace of you. Respect. Beeindruckend.
Ich bin froh, dass ich deinen Kanal gefunden habe, Bene. Grüße aus Amerika. Ich habe gerade in meiner letzten Beziehung festgestellt, dass *ich* in Wirklichkeit das unreife Arschloch bin, und deine direkte Herangehensweise ermutigt mich, die Trübsalphase zu vermeiden und mich auf meine Entwicklung zu konzentrieren. Vielen Dank.
I liked this video for the risky title alone!
I like your jacket
I really loved this video, im in a long term relationship with my now fiancé who i’ve been with since we were 12. i related alot to this video even though it was probably targeted to a man, the message still resonated w me and im assuming my fiancé could probably agree with me on some if we sat down and got really honest. but the thing is its hard to be genuinely vulnerable and honest and have someone take a look at the entirety of me, especially due to everything thats led up to me being me thats still unsolved within myself. its been feeling like we’re a little stagnant emotionally and our connection hasn’t gotten deeper and deeper like i’d want it to. but i do have a question about the video. in the video you said in a healthy really a woman will challenge or “test” her man, sometimes in a toxic way or in a really mature and loving way that helps her partner overcome and grow. i wanted to know more about what that mature loving testing would look like? i had no relationships to model that, and with me being 19, i still have to do a lot more maturing and learning to do, and that can probably attribute to why i feel my relationship has been stagnant. this video helped me alot to find words for how i’ve been feeling, and shown me some direction and what to be mindful of. thanks for putting this out there man
You've only been in a relationship for 5 years but you're talking as though you've been in one for 30 + years and have some sort of magical advice to give out...
The guy is something else. There are people that find out their spouse has been cheating on them for the entire marriage of 20+ years. He has seen nothing and talking like he’s seen it all😂😂. These youtube advice guys are something else.
I agree. Five years in a relationship is nothing. He is young and honestly some of his advice maybe ok, but come and re- do this when you have been in a relationship for over twenty years.
He felt passionate enough about it to want to share with others how it’s helped him. He made good points about his productivity and broadened perspective from it. I’ve seen people be together 30+ years never learning their partner or how to grow with them.
Yall just haters for real. Bet yall are salty just cause you have been in relationships for longer yet he is the one that posts about it and gets the views.
@@skyqueen2035 not true. I'm in a happy marriage over 22 years. But I'm just pointing out the longer you are in a relationship you learn a lot more about life and growth. A lot of people on you tube act like experts and give advice. As I said some of his advice is good but he will learn more along the way. He is still young. No one's salty.
What's the background music buddy? Very beautiful!
You're a good man and I'm happy you found yourself a girl like that and you both made it work that good, that good it worked good for you 😉. Quite unique.
Hell Ho and your reaction 😄that’s hilarious.
I do believe the advice “it’ll come with time” is bad but I think it means “you’ll figure it out with time” but it shakes off certain amount of responsibility from your shoulders saying it like that.
While I appreciate your advice for men, and there's much to learn from you, please take care when speaking on female hormonal birth control. I am a female who needs to take this because of an illness, and it's too severe to treat with alternative medicine and other methods. They can help as an addition to treatment, but I really need the hormones because my body is not healthy on its own, hopefully temporarily. That is how a young woman would benefit from taking hormones that are not her own - I need them and I am not healthy, and I am far from the only girl out there that is like that. So you might benefit from another perspective on that
Best wishes to you and cool video
"Quick" question. I'm now 20. Never been in a relationship but I do know that I need one to really unlock my potential because it will give me a reason to work harder for my goals. I am doing a lot already but I just feel like I could do a lot more if i really had a reason to do it for and i think a relationship is what would give me that reason. But my question is now how or rather where do I find a woman that I can trust. Especially since I have no experience with relationships at all. If I get into a relationship, I want it to be with all my heart, but this will leave me very vulnerable and I think this is what keeps me back most from even trying.
Try a library or curch
Hit me hard with the room sentence😂
Also, don't be too hard on yourself, life is to be enjoyed for its too short. What I mean is that when you slip and relapse, don't judge yourself, rather than look into it and try to understand what made you do it and reevaluate your action.
Thank you wise german man
Here is a real man.
Men are all real. Maybe respectable is a more suitable word
nothing but facts here. woe
Truth💯🎤💧
I wish more men wud have ur view on relationship and needing a woman in their lives
As i woman i found this very helpful
These rules are also so important for gay people, in fact for any kind of empathic relationship. Thank you!
If Your Reading This Bene. Please If You Could Make A Video On Entering A Women's Life Who Has Children... Much Love Bene.
Please can you point the way to info how men can help women hormonally? Thanks
Facts