What it's Like to be Diagnosed with ADHD as an Adult
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- Опубликовано: 28 апр 2024
- I was diagnosed when I was 12, so I don’t have the experience of being diagnosed with ADHD as an adult -- but ADHD coach Brett Thornhill does! Now that my channel is reaching more brains (and hearts!) I wanted to make an episode that might help them understand what it’s like -- not only the actual process, but the emotional journey. In this episode, Brett Thornhill opens up about his own experience and I mostly try to stay out of his way.
Brett’s website: embraceyouradhd.ca
Brett’s article on what can help ADHD brains: (this is in his email)
Why it’s important to seek a diagnosis even as an adult: www.additudemag.com/better-la...
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"The Show Must Be Go”, "Cold Sober," "Angel Share," "Life of Riley"
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
creativecommons.org/licenses/b...
Quoting that tumblr screenshot, "Either people with ADHD stop being so relatable or I need to go to the doctor"
oh my gosh "I cant have ADHD because I'm holding down a job/paying bills so obviously.." "yeah but how easy is it?" "..." can relate so so hard
That bit made me tear up - I'm talking to my therapist about me maybe having add soon and this hit home!
Literally cried when he said that lol I feel like I’m drowning
This started the tears 😭
This also made me sad
I didn't get asked that, they were just like "good grades? You're high functioning!"
yikes
I cried watching this. I am a 35 year old teacher in the process of being diagnosed/treated. I was referred several times for testing throughout secondary school/childhood and my parents got me a book to “doodle” in and said prayers for me to get better. I’ve spent my entire life feeling inadequate and like an imposter, expending tremendous energy to accomplish things that peers have always seemed to do with ease. Thank you for sharing this, to both the interviewer and interviewee.
Luke, I’m a teacher too, and I absolutely agree about feeling inadequate and like an imposter. I so feel your pain! Hang in there, though, bc the kids with ADHD that come into our classrooms need us so much! We UNDERSTAND!!!
Another teacher here, 40 and undiagnosed but finally and actively looking for diagnosis and therapy.
I was a dreamer at school, but was apparently smart enough to cover up some of the negative sides so I never even got tested. At university when I first learned about ADHD it was still taught that you grow out of it in your teenage years. Told myself I got through school without the diagnosis, what would it have changed?
Every now and then I came to points in my life where I really struggled, but there were always different explanations for why my head was in constant turmoil. Then two years ago I learned that ADHD can persist in adults and for the first time I asked myself what if I DO have ADHD? The symptoms are there and I'm finally at a point where I know that I need to see an expert because on my own I won't find out what's going on in my brain.
Since my first days as a teacher I always liked those ADHD kids a lot, because their abilities to shift perspectives and think around corners can be really amazing. Maybe I saw more of me in them than I admitted at first.
Hopefully thoughts of you who live with it do better for your students living with it than most of my teachers did I hated school after being treaded like I was slow by many of them and still dislike the school system to this day if I have kids I will not send them to a public school
I really dislike when people think they can "pray away" mental disorders. I told my parents I was depressed when I was younger and then they tried to force me to go to youth group instead of getting me actual help
I'm crying right now too bro...
Boy, that "I feel like I've been walking through 3 feet deep water" hit uncomfortably close to home. I've come up with the exact same analogy to describe any project I try to work on. I haven't been diagnosed, but the more I learn about ADHD the more I feel like I might have it.
Same here, just realizing and learning that maybe it’s actually ADHD that has made me struggle extra in life. I’ve been finding these videos tend to bring up tears to my eyes, like what if I’m finally finding out what my deal is.
Same. I finally took my first step to figure it out. Because every post I see on social media about it and every video I've seen just hits to close to home. It's really uncomfortable 🥴
I feel the same way. The impostor syndrome, the perceived ‘laziness’, the ‘now/not now’ mindset, the struggle is real, I also haven’t been diagnosed and I am nearly 48 years old but the more I learn about myself and about ADHD, the more I am convinced I need therapy and maybe a diagnosis.
ditto ditto ditto ! In some way I am enjoying the catharsis and emotional upheaval of re-understanding who I am and sort of discovering I can care for and love this thing about myself that isn't a flaw its just who I am. Does that make sense?
Because the alternative thoughts that I had in my mind prior to this discovery were the darkest places possible, I'd much rather forgive myself and fall back in love with myself.
For me it's more like 7 feet of water and I'm barely able to get a breath
“Adhd is not a failed version of normal, it’s just a different way if being”
LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK
AND BY THAT I MEAN MY OWN BRAIN
Preach. I almost fell over when I heard that line.
Oh my god. It's like I'm talking to my brains
@@In1t3ch are you okay? Have a good day.
It's like having a much stronger and better car engine than other people, but because of the fact it's held together by duct tape and uses pringles cans instead of steel pipes, it's unknown how effective it will be until it gets into the right gear (which could be one of thousands).
Adhd is not a failed version of normal, it’s just a different way if being. Hope you (and I) hear it loud and clear :)
The first time I took medication, I thought "omg, you mean everyone else's brain works like this all the time?"
Lynn Bowman SAME
What do you take?
I cried for a good hour the first time I took medication (I was 21) bc everything in my life before that point just clicked and I was so overwhelmed.
CrazedDreamer i am 21 right now and experiencing this. i have had to hold back the tears and the laughter while in my cubicle .. i should be working right now lol. i want to see a psychologist and be officially diagnosed. it’s so scary!! i have all the symptoms but i really can’t admit it. to myself.
@Alison Melo didn't your psychiatrist write you a prescription?
"my contemporaries were able to do things that I wasn't able to do, and I always put it to work ethic". I just got diagnosed a few years ago, in my mid-30s, and I also wish I'd known earlier. So much time spent beating myself up.
Was diagnosed about 2 months ago at the age of 24 and when I finished my appointment I was in denial. So I looked into ADHD more. And just started sobbing. So many flaws I thought I had were explained. The validation that I wasn’t lazy just suffering. The IMMEDIATE difference medication made for me.
I was about to get fired from my job as I was just too distracted and couldn’t work no matter how hard I tried. And then the first day I worked while medicated it was like a new world. I immediately far surpassed any quotas laid out for me. It’s just…. The grief. If I had known sooner I’d have a degree right now.
It’s soul crushing sometimes. And exhausting to just now be able to pick up the pieces.
I got diagnosed 2 days ago at 52 years old. "So many flaws I thought I had were explained". It will take a while to get over the shock of this, feeling very sad at the moment, I've had so many criticisms about my flaws over the years 😞
I'm only now going through this at 49. Learning that some of the things I experience are symptoms and I never even realized. I didn't know not everyone dealt with this, I just thought they handled it better. And grief for who you could have been if you had been diagnosed and treated sooner... yeah.
Out of curiosity, are you on amphetamine or methylphenidate?
When your ADHD makes it hard to focus on the video about ADHD...
Oh Lord i relate to this statement!
😂 oh god! Comments like these is really relieving pain
I can’t sit through a lot of videos. I watch things on 1.5 or 2x speed almost all the time
Yeah! I'm reading the comments as I'm watching the video lol
Who else doing the same?
My adhd brain does that often.
'Mourning the person I thought I could have been if I had found out about it earlier' - I'm still trying to get over that and I found out about it at 21. To go through this at 43? You have my respect and above all my empathy.
Marina S. I relate and I found out even younger
im only finding out now at 30, half these videos bring me to tears every time but im so glad i have found them. The part where he talks about discovering why and feeling so excited and having everyone else be like okay??? was very relatable to especially at my age.
I felt this way when I found out at 27. It took a near mental breakdown for my diagnosis to come to light. I was almost to the point of agoraphobia.
This ones deep 🌊
I said these same words crying to a friend over the phone last week, and I’m 28. It’s a gut punch to hear and at the same time it feels incredible to feel not so alone.
I was just diagnosed at 34 and what he said about being able to complete a project that had been sitting on his desk for a month or walking out of a meeting having listened the whole time...I cried hearing that. I really want to be able to do those things.
me too :)
I have an unfinished baby book from 19 years ago. Unsent thank you notes from June. Undeveloped film from early 2000s. I bought Xmas cards to send...
I stopped buying books (reading was a great love of mine) because the last few that I bought I've never been able to start on let alone finish. I struggle to focus during work & meetings. This video made me cry. And I'm the exact age when he was diagnosed.
My wife suggested to me that our son might have ADHD. I said that he couldn't because he's not hyperactive, and he focuses very well on things he likes doing (yeah, I know now). She told me about the inattentive subtype of ADHD. My son fit the description perfectly (dramatic pause) - and so did I.
Thank you so much for this video. My first reaction was "So, there's light at the tunnel?" I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I've already started to list the things I'm going to do with my new brain :)
I found out at 24 - my psychiatrist says the real problem I will have is reversing the years of anxiety, self esteem problems and schemas that I have developed as a result of having ADHD. I do get sad sometimes thinking of what my school years might have been like without it but at the end of the day I have a lot of years left to go and I'm glad I know now.
I am also 24 and received my diagnosis 2 weeks ago. Thank you for sharing, I am currently going through that very grieving process.
I found out in my 50’s after my grandson was diagnosed as ADD and his younger sister as ADHD. I looked back at my childhood traumas and went OMG. I could have been a different person.
Same
Same, found out at 24 after dropping out of two degrees. My first thought was how different the last 6 years could've been if I had even just found out towards the end of highschool
@@someguy8732 similar story here. I was 28
"You don't change in the eyes of others." THAT is the most difficult challenge- when everyone around you calls you "lazy" and tells you "something is wrong with you", it makes dealing with the challenges that much more daunting and difficult.
indeed, in fact I got to the point of "why should I even bother if it always ends in me being lazy and wrong" .
feel for you😢
I was diagnosed at age 59. I’m now 60 and am still grappling with what it means, how my life would be different if I had known earlier. Every symptom he describes resonates with me.
Oh I am just about to turn 60 and my psychologist suggested I get assessed for ADHD. I am so confused and uncertain (I live in Australia).
🤝🏻💗🕊
I’m 52 and likely on the ADD spectrum. Does being diagnosed help much?
@@taquilo for me, yes. It helps me understand myself better and gave me permission to explore coping strategies. I have not pursued medication but if I feel like my strategies are not working, I always have that option.
I've now turned 61 and just realised for the very first time that ADHD explains my entire life. It didn't even ever occur to me that I could be suffering from this condition.
Had I been diagnosed as a young child and offered appropriate treatment accordingly, I'm pretty sure my life would have turned out completely different.
You should do a video titled: “what it’s like to go undiagnosed as an adult.”
I’ve got… um… around 30 years of personal data for that video.
I'm on a 9 month waiting list to get an evaluation. Your videos are so helpful. I'm going through that mourning right now so watching and re-watching a little at a time.
i was diagnosed at 27. This interview hit home for me a lot.People sometimes say 'you can't have adhd, you're such a smart person'. That angers me a lot.ADHD is not an intelectual disability.And if it were, how ignorant are you to say something like that?...People mostly mean well but when the therapist asked'yeah but how hard is it?' i immediatly started sobbying.It is exhausting.Not medicated but hope to be soon
Cristina Tacaciu in my own observations, plenty of ADD/ADHD people are often a lot more intellectually developed as our brains are constantly on overdrive to keep up with the ceasless and unfiltered flow of information from all our senses and our only option is to adapt or give up and shut down completely, with the latter option usually beeing disabled by our insatiable curiosity :)
Actually people with ADHD tend to be quite intelligent because of their innate curiosity.
I'm 51, in law school now, and that has been my issue all of these years. I did well in school but I was/am EXHAUSTED by how much work it takes. I spent my entire life until a month ago believing that it was this hard because I am a woman and that is just how it is. I've never believed I am smart because it takes so much control (calendaring, post its, lists, notes in my car/on the fridge/at my desk, reminders on my phone, etc) just to get things done.
Now, I am beginning to see that I was wrong. The frenetic feeling I've always had in my brain is because of ADHD. I started Wellbutrin last week. We'll see how it goes (my kids, btw, both have been diagnosed which is what led to my seeking answers). Also, I don't feel much differently yet, but the young people I live with say that I am calmer, my energy is lower key, I'm less 'frantic' as a driver, and that I'm not interrupting as much. The biggest win? I went grocery shopping at WalMart yesterday and we got ONLY WHAT WAS ON THE LIST! I have never done that. I usually get distracted and buy lots of other things too!
I have ADHD but am really smart
DONT MEDICATE
I’m a 37 year old man with a loving wife and happy kids, and I was diagnosed a week ago having never even considered it. I cried all through this video because he is me. Everything he said. The stages of grief are real. I’ve been going through them consistently every day for the last week. Thank you.
I was 34, holding down jobs, got good grades in school. A year and a half later, I'm still mourning what could have been. I literally never thought I had ADHD, because that was for people who couldn't sit still, not quiet bookworms. The memory problems. Why could my sister sit down and memorize organic chemistry flashcards, but I couldn't remember the second part of that interview question someone just asked me. It explains so much.
I am a 37 year women who is happily married but struggles in the world of work and general adulting and I concur.
Woah same here
Got a new job as English teacher at 36. While I was trying to help an ADHD student of mine, ended up relating so much with him, I looked for help and got diagnosed. Watching this was quite emotional, especially the 'mourning the person I could have been..'. At the same time, it's quite awesome to just know that there are people like me out there with similar situation! I don't feel so alone! (emotional as I'm typing this.)
I completely agree with you and this person story is almost identical to mine including how he "feels" versus how others "perceived" his ability to do executive functioning tasks before you got diagnosed. I also cried
That constant restless feeling is what gets me the most. Being unable to relax or feel content with anything feels like a prison. Meds help that feeling a lot but I don’t think it ever truly goes away.
Oh how often over the years, I’ve said "I’m the laziest person I know" hmm... I’m 65 and just started listening to this, reflecting and considering the why it’s been such a difficult "journey".
Same here. I’m 64 and was always told by my mom that I’m lazy. I still struggle.it didn’t help that I had older siblings and she always compared me to them.
re: "People don't seem very impacted when you tell them you have ADHD"
Not entirely surprising when I consider that I've spent my whole life pretending VERY HARD that I'm neurotypical. And it looks like my act was working. Brett's right - they didn't hear or see what /I went through/ to put on that act.
pluspiping 😭That’s literally me right now! I’m so tired after socializing especially around holidays being around the family that really prioritizes image and reputation. My mom and sister love to give me feedback on where I went wrong and what I could’ve done instead and ugh! I hate it! I don’t feel related to them.
This.
I’m 33 and if there is one thing I’ve learned in life is that people are nicer to you, more willing to help and more empathetic if you pretend to be as adult and understanding as possible. No one ever knew how out of control and bad things are with me.
I went to 2 therapies and no one ever even mentioned ADHD.
I am 100 % convinced that I have ADHD, I can’t believe I didn’t think of it earlier.
I am trying to get a professional diagnosis ASAP, maybe I can finally finish 14 years of uni ...
And I’m so scared. Scared that the doc won’t listen to me, scared the say that I don’t have ADHD and scared that if it is ADHD, nothing will help 😭
@@BloodOfMadara what about positive reinforcement what did you do right what were your strengths not criticising your every move
Gotta add to that: it’s the same with Autism; sometimes even with Epilepsy.
It’s much better just to hide the fact that you have it.
@@kalliope8238 I hope you have gotten the help you need. Did you ever get in for that diagnosis, let us know how it went.
I was diagnosed at 33. After so many years of depression, doctor after doctor, failed antidepressants, then having 3 kids...I ended up so stuck. I ended up mostly staying in bed for 2 months straight. I was so terrified to even get up. I felt like putting on my shoes was like scaling a mountain. Finally my husband begged me to see a psychiatrist. He had been diagnosed with ADHD a couple years before and was convinced I was not depressed, but actually severely overwhelmed by untreated ADHD. I was not convinced. Also, because the antidepressants (given to me in the past by GPs, not psychiatrists) made my life such hell, I was terrified that would happen again if I went to a psychiatrist. But I was so desperate to do anything. So I went.
After 3 hours' worth of interviewing, the doctor says to me, "You are severely ADHD. How have you dealt this long without treatment?!" Well, I come from a family of neurodiverts. Autism, Auditory Processing Disorder, Dyslexia, Sensory Processing Disorder (various family members). Most of it undiagnosed until adulthood. We just saw it as how things had to be. We just...deal. I guess. I did, until I broke down. And looking back, I didn't actually deal. I had serious trouble keeping track of finances (so my husband does it), I had serious trouble in school (I aced subjects of special interest, like World History and English and Music, and tanked in Math and Science), couldn't keep track of time ("Oh is it someone's birthday today? Oh, it's mine? Oh, isn't that a nice surprise!" o.O), couldn't decide on a college major, so wasted a bunch of time and money, couldn't hold a job because of my focus issues ("Oh, the phone was ringing and I didn't answer? Whoops!")
So, anyway, my reaction was like, "I can't have ADHD. I'm not hyper. Like, at all. In fact, I'm overly lethargic and totally spaced out." I was the kid (and am the adult) who sits inside playing video games, or hyper focusing on a book UNTIL I'M DONE WITH THE ENTIRE NOVEL IN 8 HOURS lol So then he explains about the types, and that I'm "Inattentive Type", and that hyperactivity of the body is not the only way ADHD looks. So, learning of that and living aware of it the past 2 years, I now like to think of it as my brain is hyperactive, and it doesn't extend to my body movement.
As for meds, Adderal literally saved my life. Once I took it, I realized my brain could finally see the steps of things. Before it was like everything looked HUGE. I was seeing every step for everything I had to do, and could ever do, and wanted to do, AT THE SAME TIME. Like my brain was looking at everything, ever. With the meds, my brain feels like it has slowed down and I can actually see the steps that I have to, ONLY when I need to, sort away the ones I don't need to see right now, and push away the ones that are just distractions. Because of this, I no longer have the crushing depression I have had literally as long as I can remember. Seriously, I have been chronically, horrifically depressed since I was like, 7. Maybe even earlier. I have chunks of childhood totally missing, so I can't be sure. I think because I've been chronically overwhelmed by my hyper-brain and the stress if it, it had to shut some of it out maybe.
Since taking the meds, I also no longer have terrible insomnia. Best sleep ever. I might still stay up late (like today lol) but only when I choose to. And when I get into bed, I'm asleep in 20 mins. I used to lie there for HOURS. Getting MAYBE 3 or 4 hours sleep a night.
Anyway, god this is long. LOL Sorry! I just am so happy I found this channel, where people like us can share these stories. Thank you.
Hi, I can relate so much to you! I was just diagnosed and started the medication at very low dose. I'm still not able to sleep, I wonder if at higher dose the insomnia will go away?
Hey! I know I'm super late to the comments but I think our brains are hyperactive as well. I'm not hyperactive at all as a person, physically, but I think my thoughts that are constantly racing here and there are probably where all this energy goes. It really makes sense when you think about it like that. I just wanted to share this because I often think about the "hyperactive brain" thing and I'm glad I found someone else with the same thoughts haha
I could have typed this. This is my story. Newly diagnosed. Thank you for sharing!
What you have to say has value.
Wow, I’m bawling reading this. Especially the idea of seeing everything At once and not being able to sort out the steps.
I’ve felt my whole like like I see and feel EVERYTHING; ALL THE TIME. So I dissociate or watch movies because it’s too much to live inside my own brain, especially when I don’t sleep. Thanks for sharing, I’m definitely inspired to seek out a possible diagnosis
Finding out at 64 explained a lot but left a lot of grief for who I could have been. Spending too much time worrying about others and not about myself.
thank you Kim, that was me and I am trying to decide if I get assessed. So much fits,
I just found this episode by accident and realize my comment is late to the game, but I really relate to this.
I was diagnosed recently at 39 years old. I went to see a therapist as I was struggling to process my father’s death and only sleeping 2 hours a night. I thought I was going to the dr for something to help me sleep, boy was I wrong.
In my first appointment, the Dr. asked me to tell him a little about myself and I just started telling him about what was going on. He then stopped me and said I have been talking 30 min straight and have changed the subject 28 times without finishing one story or topic. He asked if my brain has always jumped around like this and said he doesn’t know how I have made it with my professional career and a productive life my whole life without be treated or diagnosed. I was extremely relieved as everything made sense now. I had frustrated so many people throughout my life as they said I was high strung and I just thought I was normal, I struggled to finish any project but am very ambitious and felt like a failure when I struggled to finish things. The dr said this is why I am struggling to process death, my brain won’t stay on topic to let me process my feelings.
I went on medication reluctantly to just try and it was life changing and the best thing to happen in a long time. Absolutely life changing! I actually finish projects now and am not so jumpy and high strung. Every single one of my coworkers and boss called me the week I started on medication to ask if I was ok as they had never gone a day without me sending a group email, calling everyone through the day with ideas, etc etc… I simply said yes, I am fine. I am just focusing on my work. They kept asking if I was depressed, I said no, I feel great, I am just regrouping and focused on my work.
Being diagnosed was the best thing to happen to me and now I understand myself so much better and what I need for myself to function productively. I am now back in school for a new career path I have always been interested in , working and managing my life much better.
I hope anyone like me that is going through life always having anxiety, struggles to finish projects, can’t sit through a meeting without mentally changing the subject in their brain and then tuning out the meeting and missing valuable info, and just can’t focus has the opportunity to see someone and get diagnosed so they can understand themselves better and get treatment as needed to lead a much happier and better life.
Thank you for this video, it’s great to relate to others.
Thank you for sharing in detail. This is exactly how I feel
How do others see you now? How has your work performance changed after almost a year.
one thing I found is , other adults with adhd are the best people to be around. watching this video makes me feel normal. we are all peas in a pod. a tribe!
JosephineJoJo Its definitely not an easy life but once I was finally diagnosed and let go of the “what I could have been if diagnosed earlier in life thoughts” I too felt part of a bigger team!
I think my ADHD makes me “Marmite” people either love me or hate me.
We are normal when we are the only ones around LOL If one neuro-typical walks in the room of a whole lot of ADHD'ers, s/he's the abnormal one! :-)
Tribe ya
We are nice people
I was just diagnosed just a few days ago. I started my prescription today. I'm 24. The first thing my mom said when I told her was "you don't seem ADHD." My brother was diagnosed when he was 6. Anytime I brought it up that I may have it, my parents told me I was just making excuses. This interview put a lot of my feelings into words. I'm so happy that I know now, and that I can treat it, but I'm so mad that it wasn't caught sooner.
Hey, how did the last 3 years go?
My sister was diagnosed as a preteen, I got diagnosed at 40 - they didn't even consider me because I was quiet and read A LOT... Like go to the library in the morning and as they flicked the light switch to signal closing finished the last page and reshelved the book. I so feel you!
@@Helen247 sounds familar. We are the same age so i'm guessing because we weren't causing trouble and were bookworms people like us flew under the raidar. In the early 90s My parents struggled to get my brother (who was heavy on the H part of adhd) diagnosed let a lone me. I suffered a lot of anxiety and depression which went undiagnosed and treated until my mid 20s. I don't have an adhd diagnosis but i'd be very surprised if i didn't
Diagnosed this year, at 56, having spent my life battling overwhelm, and additional anxiety. Variously diagnosed, since I was 14, with depression, bipolar and PTSD, but never successfully treated, even though the psychiatrists literally tried pretty much everything. I am so grateful for my diagnosis, and am now working on a pathway to a life I can live to the full, even if I’m a bit further along it! These ‘How To ADHD’ videos are helping me so much - thank you 🙏🏼
I do get mine from the name look up ⬆️ ⬆️⬆️ they are the best I know that helped me with microdosing products when I suffered Adhd, depression and anxiety and I get mine from them ………
I was diagnosed at 50 and I just dealt with it when I watched the videos for the first time 6 months ago I sat with my mouth wide open thinking omg this is me everything fell into place what didn't my family and close friends who thought it was just one of them things another excuse set my recklessness clumsiness inability to get anywhere on time my lack of process and sort of consequence to what actions do my ability to compartmentalize absolutely anything and move on as if it never happened whilst inwardly my five mad brains we're just screaming different things the noise level is intolerable it was 9 before I started taking elvanse and now it's about 5 but I embrace it because we are unique and I think if you can't deal with it just walk on because I haven't got the time kudos to you because you're amazing and don't let anyone tell you different
This guy truly moved me and I started crying. I also spaced out for half the video, but my heart got the message
I was diagnosed at 65. I’m 71 now. I’m still learning about ADHD. I certainly understand more about what was going on in my life when I was growing up and in my adulthood.
But there is always something more to learn.
This is so wholesome
Diagnosed at 60 here, still working on learning to live with it.
At 50
I was originally diagnosed in my 40's but didn't realize how much was out there in terms of knowledge. Plus was working on the depression. I had to be re-diagnosed in order to get meds again and am now seeking coaching on ways to have better habits to deal with it. I'm 57.
64 just figuring it out
I've never related so hard to someone before. For once, I don't feel alone. Thank you!
Right?!?! Like I was the same age at diagnosis even
I completely agree!
Me too. 39 yo. Went through my life knowing I’m pretty smart, but never could apply it. Some regret but now some hopefulness. Also understand the ignorance around it but to. Most ppl will not register the difference at first. But close ppl might after a time I feel.
U shouldn't man, we're here
I’m really going to get that diagnosis! I’m 27 years old and I am tired of dabbling around with drugs. Kratom, benzos, painpills etc. I’m really looking forward to getting this diagnosis, make my life easier
Yep, for the first time since realising I have ADHD (in process of getting formal diagnosis) I actually cried watching this. I’m 44, just processing this as its only been a few weeks. He was literally telling my story, it’s like someone read my deepest thoughts. I’m outwardly successful but suffer so much from neg self talk, impostor syndrome, procrastination and anxiety - everything has been an internal battle to keep in step with my peers. I have had depression and burnout because of it. So much of that pain and difficulty might have been avoided with early diagnosis. The anger is real. Also understand this getting this massive revelation about yourself that nobody else either ‘gets’ or is interested in - yet it is HUGE to you.
Diagnosed today at 32. "Mourning the person I thought I could have been had I known earlier" hit hard.
I don’t think I’ve ever cried so hard during a video. I’m being diagnosed now at 30 and the realizations and understanding about why I am the way I am, are just completely relieving and scary and so many other emotions. But I think what I feel most is this idea of “Finally.”
Relate 100percent. 30 and I just had a lightening bolt moment that I should take a screening test. Relief and fear and grief and excitement for what could be helped.
Thank you for your post! I turned 31 this year and finally decided to try to rule ADHD out earlier this year. Awful anxiety, depression, and general loneliness. Inability to focus on things I used to love. Inability to hold down relationships other than ones I had already built with friends and family. I took a neuropsych evaluation and... well, turns out I DO have ADHD. I’m starting some meds in a month or so, and I’m hopeful I will feel much better.
30 here and I’ll type when I stop crying
I cried through almost the entire video aswell. I’m 28 and was diagnosed 2 days ago. So much of my life started to make sense and I’ve never been so happy to know that something was “wrong” with me so that I no longer had to question what was wrong with me
@@paigelarson9279 29 here and I was diagnosed 3 days ago. I cried for 2 days in a row feeling exactly how the great man in the video felt. But I'm so SO happy at the same time to know what's going on. To know that I wasn't just "lazy". I'm really excited for the next chapter in my life. For the first time in my life, I feel truly free. I can move forward now even if that's hard. This diagnosis is a lifesaver for so many. Don't be harsh on yourself please and say "what if I had known earlier"? You still have gained amazing life lessons during this period and that made you the amazing person that you are now. This Diagnosis will only make you more empowered. I hope that's how people that got diagnosed as adults feel eventually. The pain we lived through isn't our fault nor it's ADHD's fault. Our societies are just too narrow-minded to accept and support different type of people. I will make it one of my goals to tell people about ADHD to spread awareness and help people to get diagnoses earlier or support those who are already diagnosed.
Oh, I know that "walking through 3 feet of water"-feeling. I had that in school all the time.
For me, with the medication it was more like "Oh, I have energy left after two hours of school and don't feel like I have a complete day of school behind me."
I am married to someone with ADHD and thinks he is handling it, but I am the one walking through 3 feet of water or a lot of the time drifting in 9 feet of water
I described it as being in a fog most of the time but I love the water analogy!
I just got diagnosed last month at 35 years old. I’m still learning about ADHD. My jaws dropped when he mentioned at 6:09 that he listened to everything in the meeting and didn’t get lost. I MEAN IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?! I never realized it was an ADHD thing!
I was diagnosed at 48. I always had a rough time in school. I would read and read one paragraph and still not understand anything I read. As I got older I taught myself to be organized and everything seemed to work out, outwardly. Internally, I was a mess. I went back to school at 48 and found myself in the same boat. That’s when I decided to seek help. Sure enough, I was diagnosed with ADHD. I’m happy to say that I completed my RN program at the age of 50, love my job, and even though I don’t take the medication anymore, I know what I have to do to keep myself in-Check. But if I feel I need the medication again, I won’t hesitate. I’m not ashamed of my diagnosis, I feel it has made me organized and creative.
When I told people I worked with and family they basically said “we already knew that about you.” 😁
"I mourn for the person I could have been." This is how I feel every second of every day since January of this year when I was diagnosed at 36. I'm trying, but can't seem to break free from this thought.
Grief is the way through. If you have a pile of various sized rocks and you take them away one by one, eventually your whole pile becomes manageable.
I'm 37, not diagnosed yet, and I struggle with that too.
Diagnosed at 34 while being treated for post partum depression. For me the dx was validating. I'm not a failure. I'm not lazy. I'm not broken. Taking my meds and using my journal I get to be a better mom
I first took medication for ADD at 26. I remember telling my girlfriend at the end of the first day, "I didn't know the world was supposed to be this quiet." It really resonated with me when he talked about being angry. I felt cheated out of a 20 plus years of quiet.
Diagnosed at 47 and was in special Ed as a child so I obviously should have been diagnosed young but because of the ignorance of my parent's denial, I was over looked. I struggled in school my whole life. Thanks for the conversations.
"It's like I'm channel surfing through 30 different TV stations but someone else is holding the remote control."
Well. That just about made me cry. I suspected for a while that I have ADHD but man. That reeeeaaalllllyy summarizes why daily life has been so hard to do.
I don't understand this. what does he mean?
@@rojdancam1676 In short, that your mind wanders. And you don't have the control over that.
Guilherme Paiva Brito
Ahhkay thank you. That’s just another confirmation! 👊🏾
So I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago at age 29, and over that time I've learned that ADHD manifest differently in men and women.
I know you've done a video about ADHD and girls, but it would be so cool to see an interview like this one with an adult woman.
Thanks for all the hard work y'all do. This channel has been so helpful for me on my journey. :)
Im in tears watching this because it’s me too. I was diagnosed a year ago at 39. This and your video on ADHD in girls/women are ringing so true. Lazy, spacey, imposter syndrome, slugging through 3 feet of water. I’m in the corporate world and my promotion caused me huge anxiety as well. I am learning so much that is helping me to really understand my diagnosis and with my medication, I’m doing better.
Oh man, when he said to feeling lazy that hit so close and immediately had me in tears. I'm so glad I watched this video, thank you for sharing it.
I love that Brett keeps getting halfway through a sentence then starts a new train of thought
I literally didn't notice him changing his train of thought. It made perfect sense to my brain. Lol, for real.
I have a test for ADD next month, it'll be 3 hours long. I'll feel kind of silly if it turns out I don't have it, but listening to stories of people feeling "lazy" and struggling to live everyday life makes me cry because I can relate so much. I found this channel while looking up the "bullet journal" and have benefitted so much from the tips shared on here. I notice a lot of ADD traits in myself and ADHD in my mom. I just really hope that my "self diagnosis" is correct because I just really want to finally get ahold of my life but it's so hard when I'm constantly flustered and anxious about simple tasks. I can't even hang out with friends without it throwing me off rhythm. I need stability. :/
intoxifaded same here girl, I'm being tested sometime in June/July (I'm 15) and I don't know what to do if I don't have it
intoxifaded I have a test soon too. I know how you feel about there being my a chance of not having some kind of explanation. I wish you luck and hope you get your answers! 😊
intoxifaded Same situation. I hope everything goes smoothly for you two.
intoxifaded I felt the same way as you do now before I got diagnosed especially because I for myself was almost sure I had it but my parents didn't believe me so I was scared that it might turn out that I don't have it. But my advise for you is that even if you don't have it you can still benefit from tips like the ones on this channel
intoxifaded couldn't relate more
Like Brett, I thought, "Oh if only I had been diagnosed when I was 12". I'm 58 years old and was diagnosed in August last year.
I know the sadness that Brett talks about very well. Especially when it comes to relationships. I started isolating myself 20 years ago and since the diagnosis I isolate myself even more. I see that as a necessary process to learn to live as myself :)
Discovering more and more helpful things, and this five year old episode is now one of them
I was diagnosed at 43 as well. Both my kids have adhd. My husband has adhd. After my daughter was diagnosed I had alot of the same symptoms she had. I and my husband are successful and have formed coping mechanisms to deal with alot of our adhd symptoms. Im so thankful we got our kids diagnosed early and can help them to cope and provide them the tools and coping mechanisms they need to be successful! They both are soooo smart and im excited to see them grow and become successful. They both are so confident and know we have their backs 100%🙃 Love these videos🥰
Crying now. Got the diagnosis myself at 43 myself, and recognize so much of what he says. I had the first "Wait, what?" when Jr. got diagnosed, because I would go "Well, he takes after me, but everyone's like that, am I right?" and all the professionals would just look at me and go "Eh... No, that's not 'normal'" and I would be so stunned, every time.
Took me four years before I got tested - and the sheer relief of finding out that you're not just lazy or not trying hard enough is just... wow.
I KNOW I'm smart, and I just couldn't understand why I found all this "simple" things so challenging, while everyone around me seemed to manage them with ease. And it explained so much about my childhood and teenage years!
First time I tried medication I was stunned - "Wait, is this how it is for you guys?" - suddenly, those simple things WERE simple! And it was so eerily quiet inside my head...
Quiet inside my head? Can't imagine.
I'm so glad for you!
I feel your comment. And I am just starting to learn more about ADHD and that maybe IT is what’s wrong with me, instead of me always thinking/assuming everyone is basically like I am but they just must be better at it to not struggle as I do
@@skittles2055 Me.. feeling like chronic underachiever in a lot of things.
If I don't have ADD, I'll be more disappointed. I'll really feel like a complete failure except having intrinsic worth and purpose from my Lord Jesus. He's my only true hope.
I had to stop the video because I started crying while Brett was saying things that I was never able to say to my own therapists and close people through my journey with anxiety and depression symptoms. It's already a 13 year path. This video and your Tedx Talk just took a rock from my chest in form of tears. I never felt so understood in my whole life.
I even don't know what more to say because I can only focus on the relief I'm feeling right now.
41 for me and it’s tough to adjust, even a couple of years later. That rear-view mirror mentality still looms large. This video resonates with those feelings and I hope more adults in our boat continue to check it out.
Great video! I was also diagnosed around 12 but it was before ADD was regarded by my school as a learning disability deserving of extra support, so I struggled regardless. Due to the lack of understanding I grew up believing that all of my symptoms were personality problems, if I ever even mentioned my ADD diagnosis that was seen as making an excuse for myself. my parents and teachers would take it personally when I failed to meet their expectations and it was very detrimental to my self esteem. Learning more about ADD as an adult has been healing, i very much appreciate your content.
I have the same story as you, except for the part where you got diagnosed as a child. I'm in the workplace still trying to afford an investigation ($2.5k). Some of my colleagues think it's an excuse as well. My parents, although they were ignorant about it at the time (even after my primary school teacher strongly recommended I get checked for ADHD) finally changed their opinion about it a couple months ago when I told them I was going to check myself with a psychologist and explained why.
My biggest issue was my academic performance. Unlucky for me (and I'm sure for many other ADHD kids), bad grades meant that I wasn't allowed to go to high school parties, sleepovers, and other activities that help grow your social skills -- because in the eyes of my parents and teachers, I wasn't trying hard enough. I am still going through the mourning phase, wondering how much better my life would be if only I had been diagnosed at a young age; how much easier it would have been to actually graduate from high school and get into my chosen university on my first try...
My school did have accommodations for dyslexia and ADHD but I required a diagnosis to be eligible. I feel like I've been playing the most important stage of my life in hard mode, and I'm still coming to terms with that.
I was diagnosed early last November (2016), 6 weeks before my 70th birthday. It was a dramatic realization for me and I immediately told almost everyone I knew. I was blown away when a couple guys I've known for 30 to 40 years said, "Yeah, you do. Didn't you know? Everyone else knew." That kinda ticked me off some, because I sure could have benefited from knowing. But, like Brett said, looking backward with regret or anger is a waste of time or energy.
I just really appreciate the better clarity I now have about why, or at least partly why, I did stuff that was sometimes great but more often was counter productive. I also appreciate the medication, which helps me stick to tasks - doesn't exactly help me choose any better, but now when I focus on something I usually stick with it till it's done.
Thanks for sharing! Your words inspired me, just found out last week at age 57. For me it has been so validating, and such a release of so much guilt and shame. Be good to you, fellow brain!! 💕🌞🙏
So, for all the attacks my brain function were going through, I think I have done pretty good. I'll say it myself, because my boss acts like I'm gum on his shoe. Did mean to take up so much space. IF YOU HAVE HAD A BLOOD TRANSFUSION IN THE 80's, SHOT UP DRUGS OR HAVE TATOOES, IT WOULDN'T BE A BAD IDEA TO GET TESTED. THE NEW TREATMENT IS AWESOME! GOD BLESS!!
Bruce Brown agree, looking back with regret is counterproductive! I was unofficially diagnosed a few months ago, just before my 69th birthday, and what a relief!! And yes, telling everyone because I was so excited to know I was not broken, and unfixable. Medication is helping me to stay more aware of when I’m getting side tracked, but I still haven’t figured out how to fit in everything I want to do in a day ;) Hope you are doing well!
Thank you,, @@cathysmallwood, Congratulations. And welcome to the club, :) . It's just over four years now since my diagnosis. Still grateful for the discovery and the realizations and clarity. I'm happy to report that after four years I'm still getting the same benefit from medication with no need or desire to increase the dosage. It's not like a magic wand has been passed over my thinking, work, and productivity, but pretty close. I still have to monitor the subjects of my (hyper)focus, because the medication doesn't help me choose. I've also realized that I'll probably never consistently finish everything I put on my lists for the day because my list just gets longer. Most of the time I'm able to smile and accept that this 'gift' that we share has limits. And that's OK. Be well, Bruce
i'm a psychotherapist (ma level) and a 5th year phd clinical psychology student: i was diagnosed at 48 and started meds at 51. I LOVE my Adderall! I am so much better organized now at 54 than I have ever been in my life.
That is terrific to hear! Jess started on meds relatively early in her life - that's one of the things that drove her to start this channel. She wanted to collect in one place all the best techniques and tips for managing ADHD brains.
Welcome to the tribe!
- Edward
ferretmaster62 I'm currently on Adderall and Wellbutrin and I find my mind racing more to negative thoughts, I'm angry, and my anxiety is high. I told my doctor but he seems persistent I stay on it. How long does it take to stabilize?
Aimee Gray I'd say probably two weeks. I experience the same thing, but my anxiety is really bad to begin with. best luck!
Adderall made me more anxious (I have generalized anxiety disorder too) but I liked the energy it gave me. Then the anxiety got bad so my psychiatrist switched me to Guanfacine. It's like Intuniv, and a non-stimulant. After a couple of weeks of feeling EXHAUSTED, I love it. My brain is so much quieter! I say give it 2 weeks. If you're still really anxious, see about switching.
ferretmaster62 ur omg comment has 54 likes!!!!!
Brett, I can't tell you how much your story resonates with me. I made it through medical school but residency proved to be too much for my ADHD brain to handle and had to drop out, now saddled with a third of a million dollars in school debt. It is a crippling disease and I wish I would have known I had it before I was 37, and before I decided to go to medical school. Nobody understands, but man is it nice to hear from someone who GETS IT. Thanks for your insight.
I got diagnosed with ADHD just a few days ago and I'm 39. I was very surprised by the diagnosis. My whole life I was told I had anxiety and depression.
I was diagnosed at 20 which is technically adulthood, but I consider myself lucky that I was able to figure out that I had ADHD so relatively early in my life. I sought a diagnosis after my dad was diagnosed at 55. Part of the reason I was never diagnosed as a child was because both my parents had ADHD, so my tendencies just seemed normal to them and therefore to myself. Unfortunately though this meant that when I saw my peers succeeding at school while I wan struggling, it became personal failure. My diagnosis definitely helped me to see that the struggle was not a failure of my ability or character, but rather because I had challenges many of my friends did not even think about.
At 27, finally knowing I wasn't lazy or stupid was so liberating. I did mourn my child hood though. Going over my school reports with my psychologist was very depressing. I still can't look at them. I wish so much I had help as a child. I agree with Brett, parents who deny their ADHD children the help they need to be ADHD adults one day is very heart breaking to hear about.
xJennova I was recently diagnosed and I'm still dealing with me mourning my childhood looking at the constant "she just needs to apply herself" and it feels so good to have someone feel the same way
I didn't know that I wasn't alone, for many years. Also recently diagnosed at 29. The pain from all the years thinking I was worthless and a burden is just overwhelming. It's a blessing though because at this point in life many think they have experienced the best life has to give, for me, it's like God gave me a new start. I cherish every second because of this new found awareness and feel pity for the non-ADDers, coz the party in this head of mine doesn't stop. It's a gift, don't let anyone convince you otherwise. Like any Superpower, you have to learn to control it.
xJennova I do too
I was finally diagnosed at 49. So much made sense after my diagnosis. I'm 51 and I am still processing the pain from childhood (being called lazy or sloppy by teachers despite being a very curious kid and loving to read and learn) and the lifelong feeling of never fitting in anywhere as an adult. I do wonder how my life would have been had I been diagnosed as a child. I am in the process of finishing a PhD and my diagnosis is what is helping me through this difficult process. Medication and coaching have also been incredibly helpful. However I'm still mourning "what if."
It's such a grief over life you could've lived. I don't even want to start living now bcuz of the chances I lost. Like what is the point anymore?
Just got my diagnosis a week ago at 47. A lot of what Brett had to say hit home for me. I am a ‘twice exceptional’ individual, raised in a family that thought ADHD was either a behavioral problem or more than likely made up by psychologists.
So my diagnosis has been very liberating for me.
“It feels like I was walking through 3 feet of water most of the time.”
That sentiment so accurately describes my own experiences with slogging through each day. It is so challenging.
I was diagnosed as inattentive type at the age of 36, I was and am still a bit angry about how it wasn't picked up on earlier, I've always struggled with relatively simple aspects of life that others found easy, I feel like I've wasted a large chunk of my life 😔
I was diagnosed the same at age 21 and I've made my peace with it. It took a long time to let go of what might have been.
@@bigbearnelson I was diagnosed a couple of months ago at 21. It answered a lot of questions and it felt really good to know more about myself. But now I have even more questions, and I don't know where to start fixing things. I guess the whole situation is overwhelming, which fits ADHD :D
I’m 31 and got diagnosed 2 days ago after so many doctors I totally know how you feel
vixroxsix how are you doing now, two years after your original post? I’m 37 YO and was diagnosed with “attention regulation deficit” (as I have decided to call it) just last week. I’m struggling quite a lot with the grief stages every day.
I haven’t yet got the med dosages worked out fully (increasing dosages slowly to find the right balance) and still have much more to understand about other components of treatment, so I’ve got a long way to go still. I feel sure the diagnosis is correct because it absolutely fits with everything, but I haven’t felt any help from the meds yet so I’m still feeling scared that it’s not going to change anything.
But it’s only been a week. I’ve got time still.
@@The.Talent Weirdly I got recommended this channel while I was going down my usual RUclips rabbit hole. My husband is always asking me to repeat things back to him to make sure that I was paying attention and he always jokes about my inability to focus on tasks without getting distracted (he's not mean or anything) I'm in my mid 30s and after watching a few videos I'm starting to think he might have a point.
I was diagnosed as a kid but I was always in the mindset of it didn't affect me. I would get annoyed at people who were ''dramatic' about their ADHD or ADD and saw it as being attention grabbing. I didn't want to be different.
But, few years ago, 2011 or 2012ish, so around senior year of highschool i found the ADHD subreddit and through them I found DR. Russel Barkley and it blew my mind. I never knew how much ADHD effected me until then. I never knew that my temper, my lack of a filter, the mess in my room, the oversleeping, and forgetfulness was all part of it. It was like being re-diagnosed. I then realized none of it was my fault and that i'm not a bad person like my mother (who also has ADHD and a temper.) led me to believe. and it was then that i started trying to better myself. I'm still not medicated but I started being more conscious of the things I say and do and my communication. I started being better at letting things go and taking a breather....Also not talking as much...tho I still talk a lot....
AND I FINALLY figured out how to play the game that is school, and after 5 years of part time classes I took two semesters of full time (15 credits, four classes) while working on the weekends, aced all of them and finally got my A.A. with a 3.16 GPA. literally the first time I have gotten over a 3.0 since middle school .
Your videos played a big role in that after discovering you about a year ago. Lady. You rock. and you help me feel like I'm not alone and that I can do anything. Thank you for being you.
Emily Thanks for this, you described to me as well.
I was diagnosed at 30 and again at 31 years old (different countries). The bit about looking back and imagining what you could have been hit really, really hard. I know I'm still young and people love to say "It's not too late," but I'm not sure I believe that. In high school, I hung out with the kids who went to Ivy league schools and never felt that they were any smarter than I was. Now, more than a decade later, I'm working a job you don't even need a high school degree to do. Now that I'm aware of why I struggled so much and am doing what I can to adapt and climb (slowly) forward, I have some hope, but the effect that ADHD had on the rest of my life has done permanent damage to my self esteem and self worth. My IQ didn't matter. My talent didn't matter. My generosity and creativity and effort didn't matter. I just hope there's an upward trend now.
I found out in my 30's and wish I was diagnosed as a young child.... My life could have been soooo much different...maybe been better in school, or did something with my life. I don't hate the life I had... But after being diagnosed and took meds for it I was finally able to think more clearly and function in life more "normally"....which made me realize... I probably missed out on a lot of good opportunities /life enhancements when I was young
When my younger son was diagnosed at 8, I was 38. His doctor looked at me and asked, "So what do you take for your ADHD?" Like Brett, I said "I can't have ADHD!" I breezed through school and 'eventually' (that's a clue) graduated from college. We talked about a lot of things, and I left the office convinced I needed my own evaluation, but... I kept putting it off. I'm 50 now and FINALLY sought treatment. My doctor had no doubt and I'm now on Concerta as well as expanding on my own coping mechanisms that had carried me so far :) And when I told my family and friends, including an aunt who was my 7th grade science teacher, very, very few were surprised. Not sure what that says about me but I like it :)
Edward here - with our stories, we could be twins! (Except born on different days and I don't yet have children, also we probably look nothing alike, I'm going to go ahead and drop this whole metaphor here if that's all right)
My story is VERY similar though - I was always very good in school, but I was terrible at anything that required long-term commitment (long essays, homework, etc). I could cram better than anyone, and I was always getting As - and it still took me 5 years to graduate (from changing majors and schools 3 times)
So glad to hear you are finally an official member of the tribe!
Big hugs -
Edward
Edward, I loved the metaphor just the same :) Thanks for the welcome and sharing your story, too. Oh, and for the giggle you gave me while reading the first paragraph. :D And the hug! Can't forget that, too :) Backatcha!
Oh my, i came to know friend who was diagnosed with ADHD at a very young age. He was my friend when we were studying in Melbourne, Australia, as an international student.
He's 31 years old now and his achievements are remarkable. He's a graduate and was teaching primary school kids in Brunei for a short while before leaving for Perth to advance his academics. Now, he's a chef and doing great in one of the best restaurants in Crown, Melbourne.
I'm 36 this year and I'll be seeking treatment today in about 2 hours time - will be seeing a psychiatrist. 36 years old is a little too late but I am looking forward to it already!
I was diagnosed at 36, and the overwhelming feeling for me was relief. I finally had a name for what was going on with me. That gave me a sense of control I hadn't had before.
I was just diagnosed at 35 this year. Thanks for all you do!
I'm 65 and just now realizing that I have ADHD. It's blowing me away how many things in my life are turning out to be because of my ADHD: Being late. Procrastinating. Having no real concept of how to estimate time. Forgetting things. Feeling the need to have a pair of scissors in every room because if I have to go to another room to get some I might forget what I came there for or even that there was a reason I needed them! I was continuously making another list to stay on track, then losing the list or just plain forgetting I had made one. Even though I raised a family and homeschooled my kids, I often felt like I was swimming upstream with bowling balls chained to my legs! Like so many others, I felt like a fraud. Now that I know, it's been so liberating! I've stopped beating myself up for being "lazy" or "not trying hard enough." I'd like to be formally diagnosed, but don't know if I can afford it. How does one even begin that process? And really, I'm may not even need the diagnosis since I'm not sure I want medication at this point. And yet,...there's a project waiting for my attention that I'm putting off because I'm not sure how to prioritize and organize it...
Diagnosed a few months ago at 42. Just like Brett said, I had been exploring issues with my kid and started looking at myself. The psychologist said I was obvious in all catagories for Inattentive, and exactly the kind of "bright distracted girl" that got missed in the 80s/90s. She said exactly the same things just mentioned-- that yes, I have been reasonably successful in my career and personal world, but that the effort it's taken is so much more intense than for someone without ADHD. (I was also getting close to the breaking point keeping it all running!) All of the emotional struggle he mentions is exactly my experience. My marriage probably would have lasted longer if I had understood what was going on and could understand why some things were do difficult. Being medicated and finding this channel has made the past few months so much easier. (Seriously, this peppy and informative and honest channel is my safe space as I process this!) Still tons of things to work on, but I feel hopeful because a path through is starting to be clearer to see than before I knew I had ADHD! Thanks for addressing the late in life diagnosis and I look forward to exploring Brett's web site!
I am 27 years old and I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, it is a big impact, but I must say that it is also relieving since many things start to make sense.
Diagnosed when I was 19 at the end of my first year of college. I too was relieved. Knowing that there is a reason why I struggled so much helped me so much.
Was just diagnosed in April, 2021. On my 51st birthday! Best birthday gift ever to finally have an answer to the most puzzling aspect of myself I’ve battled with for most of my half century. Thank you brains (and especially you, Jessica!) for the support and guidance even though we’ve never met.
It was actually a very liberating experience to learn what has been brewing inside all these years. I always felt like I wasn't smart enough or good enough. I always felt lost and out of control and couldn't understand why if I was always getting good grades and was a good well mannered child. I can manage those feelings better now and with the right treatment I felt like the "noise" going on in my head quieted down significantly and I got emotional because at that moment I felt free.
Also, I was just diagnosed in November at the age of 37.
Thank you for your comment. A couple of people told me I couldn't have ADHD because I got good grades. They didn't see all the other stuff going on or how hard it was to get those good grades. I was diagnosed at 29.
This gives me so much hope, to even think that I could be in control, that life could be easier, that I could be the "boos". I always had good grades, so I guess that is why it never crossed my mind, until college. My grades depended much more of homework and personal study time, which I never did in school, it was an eye opening experience (I am not diagnosed yet, but Ive never been so certain of anything in my life; seeking I professional)
I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago. I had the same sense when I used Ritalin. Nothing was in my mind. I didn't think about anything and it was amazing.
I feel like i have adhd but everyone says it's just laziness and you have to make yourself more organized also accept that you are not smart and myself think the same sometimes or if am I just looking for reason to blame and to not work hard, I feel like I just wanna know but don't wanna embarrass myself that I'm just exaggerating and there is nothing wrong also I can't go to see a therapist without my family not knowing, people really should be more aware and take it seriously):
I got my diagnosis three years ago... and my first reaction was "why didn't you test me ten years ago?"... I still remember one of my former teachers giving me detention for not being able to pay attention... and the same teacher calling my parents every second week to tell them what a "problematic kid" I was... my parents yelling at me for not being able to summon the concentration I so desperately needed... I was constantly moving around, and I always needed something to do... it was a relief to be able to explain my problems... although most people refused to believe it (my parents and current boyfriend (then best friend) accepted it within the hour)... people told me that I behaved so well, and that it didn't add up... as though good behaviour was a sign pointing towards you being just like the average person... but they don't know... being seven or eight years old and forced to sit still and be quiet for a long period of time can feel torturous... they can then imagine having five to ten times as much energy as an "ordinary kid"... I'm able to sit still today because I've learnt to use my energy a little differently, and because I'm scared of being treated that way again... but that was then... I'm currently studying to become a teacher, and I want to use that education to help others... to teach kids the things they need in order to pass exams, as well as seeing everyone regardless of their struggles... to show them that a person can achieve their goals if they just learn how to use their gifts...
I just got diagnosed and I'm 38. Brett just spoke my heart out. Thank you for this.
Thank you for sharing. It is so great to have someone express how you feel when you are diagnosed later in life.
i had two diagnoses, the first one was basically: "you have ADHD, this is the medication you should take, bye." no one explained to me what it is, that it isn't necessarily what makes kids aggressive and loud, but that my "laziness" and problems to focus came from it, so i was in denial and didn't take any medication.
the second diagnosis came out of a negative diagnosis for aspergers, that was 4 months ago, this time the doctor at least explained to me the symptoms that lead her to believe i have ADHD. apparently they are still busy with the paperwork. i'm just sitting here in the void, waiting for a message from the doctors, no medication, no one to talk to, nothing.
I hope you're able to get the support you need.
@@christianbethany i at least have a therapist now, but things are moving very slowly due to covid.
@@jan050375 what kind of doctor did you go to for your diagnosis? Psychiatrists seem to be the best bet, but the ones that are recommended don’t take insurance and are expensive. Pediatrician will make an ADHD diagnosis based on a parent & teacher questionnaire, but that seems to be a guaranteed way to miss a more accurate diagnosis.
This chirpy little lady just makes me smile. She's so pleasant LOL - Also, I think I might ADHD
Yeah these videos are like counseling for me. This one really made me emotional his honesty and. Pain were so palpable to me.
I was diagnosed at 48. I mourned for two years before seeking treatment. I can't believe other people experience the same things. I just always thought I just wasn't as good as other people.
OMG I SO RELATE TO YOUR COMMENT!!! I am 49 and I found out at 48 as well. I always thought I was just a weird betch with quirks….heavy on the laziness & procrastination….now to know it was NEVER MY FAULT!!! I thought I had no work ethic as well. Oh how I wish I found out years ago.
I was just diagnosed with ADHD three months ago at 46 years old. I can't explain how profound it is for me to hear my own thoughts coming from someone else's mouth. Thank you for doing this!
Oh my god! What he said about it feeling a profound "I KNOW MYSELF" feeling and then people not reacting to it in the way you are is so true! I told my friends and family and it felt like they didn't even understand what I was saying because they were like "oh ok, so what?"
Yooo! I've experienced that with gender dysphoria. I've told people things that I find really hard to talk about and they're like, "Oh, okay. Cool." And it's like, great! Thanks for being accepting I guess but if you could at least pretend this is hard for me to talk about, that'd be great!
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD last year at 21 and I can honestly say I have a bad habit of looking back. All the times I thought I was stupid in school and even now.. I hold down a management position at my job and I would always feel like it was the toughest thing in the world but for our other manager it was the easiest thing.. I'd literally get so frustrated and cry that my manager had to basically teach me things hand over hand more than 6 times just for me to understand. It was SO much relief for me to understand that there was an actual cause to how I would react to things and why everything felt so much more challenging to me. It's really hard to accept it still but it's relieving to know it wasn't just me being "slow." It's gonna take some time to explain to my family since they are very uneducated with this, with them being Hispanic and not believing in disorders.. eventually I hope they will get over their ignorance and accept the way I am. Thank you for your videos, they really do help.
People are so.annoying when u are sure about something.....they want to glammar u into thinking like them. I think he said it best when he said u can "Inform & Educate" people about your condition. That its not up for debate. Sorry not sorry
Him talking about looking back and mourning the life that he could have had was so relateable and legit brought me to tears. I just started treatment over a week ago, at 23 years old. Being untreated has really made a lot of things extremely difficult for me, but I am so grateful I found a wonderful psychiatrist and psychologist, and that hopefully now things will be better moving forward.
Recently got diagnosed finally! I started my first day of medication, while i was waiting for it to “kick in” I tidied my room, did my dishes, made my bed and washed my clothes. I still didn’t feel any different so i had the audacity to call my psychiatrist to make sure everything was ok. While i was on the phone with her I realised everything i just did and was like “oh wait, never mind, it kicked in already”
Ok guys. Thank you so much for the timely (for me) interview. I just made an appointment for an evaluation for ADD. I am 60 yo.
As someone who was diagnosed at 42 years old, I can really relate with mourning process he discussed. How good could’ve my life been...
Will Fryer 2 wow! This is a revelation!
Anything to back it up?
Did u take medication? And if yes, did it help?
Diagnosed at 53….my goodness, I was so happy to finally have a diagnosis! After working with the Dr. to the proper medication, things were better, but my happiness often shifted to sadness & loneliness, and I often wonder who I might have become had I been diagnosed earlier. Totally can relate to this man’s life experience.
@@Nickss77 I take medication now and it helps very much. For the first time in my life I can trust myself. My career has gone through the roof, I’m getting along better with my wife and son.
As a 23 year old who’s going through this right now I appreciate this content so much. Thank you so so so much for expanding the narrative beyond your personal experiences!
Just got my diagnosis and I recognized so many of Brett's thoughts. The one about telling people got me the most. While in the process of discovering it, I felt like my life made so much more sense now and what I got from friends was just an "ah ok" and that's it.
Thank you so for putting into words what I just felt.
I feel like crying just listening to him. I know I have ADHD but I haven't been diagnosed. My children have been diagnosed and my half brother and sister have been diagnosed (just found this out 6 years ago). I am ready to make an appointment now to be diagnosed. I can relate to EVERYTHING he said about living with ADHD and I really want to be able to concentrate and live a better life.
This one really, really, REALLY hit close to home for me. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 42 and I went through the same process of pulling myself out of the mud. Unfortunately, I don't have the same option to discuss with my family. They have a deep seated belief that mental conditions like depression and ADHD are just an excuse to cover up someone's laziness. Thank you. This really helps me feel.......not alone.
Can’t help but cry through this one. I’m 50 and had a colleague tell me she thinks I have ADHD. I have been pondering that, battling the stigma, sorting through whether or not it’s “just” generalized anxiety. This channel has me convinced I need to be assessed. This particular shows has me mourning who I could have been had I been diagnosed as a child. It’s been a lonely, isolating, frustrating journey. Here’s to what’s next. Thanks for this show and this channel.
I laughed and teared up lol the whole feeling lazy, looking at others who effortlessly glide through mundane things while your giving it all you got and still getting no where, getting pissed at people who are ignorant to your diagnosis, and feeling so alone. Thank you for being so amazing and for showing us how amazing WE are too! your channel has changed my life and made me a better mother to my children 😊
This channel has changed my life. This interview is a prime example of that. I was also diagnosed in my 40s, (late 40s). Love this channel.
Thank you for this. I was diagnosed last summer at 29, and still haven’t started treatment, but watching your videos has helped me do what I can on my own and at home. This hit home
This made me so emotional. I have never related so much. I never considered I could have ADHD until my primary care brought it up in our first few visits, I was in my late twenties. I tested off the charts and have learned so much about it since then. I am so much more self aware since my diagnosis and medication absolutely is a miracle for me. This was an awesome perspective.
My experience was very similar, though I was diagnosed at 24 after a particularly bad year in architecture school. As I've read below it's usually after school where it's more evident. At school I had no real problems, but at uni things got a lot more complicated and architecture really is hard for an undiagnosed person. If I didn't like it I would've probably left it long ago. It was hard to explain to my family as well, especially cause there is not enough information about adhd in spanish, at least not channels like this that are as interactive and "easy to digest". I've had urges to subtitle all the information i've read so my parents can better understand what it all means and feels, but oh well, I since I got diagnosed I've been doing so much better I am more at peace with them not knowing it all. Great video!! :D
I also got diagnosed at 24.. It was the biggest relief.. All my struggles throughout my life and particularly in University we’re not my fault..
I had a condition.. I have a condition..
This is how it affects me..
Im still 24 and have been diagnosed 6 months and it’s amazing how I’ve learnt to handle situations and the improvements I’ve seen since becoming medicated.. :)
I’m also architect major!!!!! And I feel like it’s impossible to achieve my goals suffering through the math and everything
omg Architecture school with ADHD is TERRIFYING. Some things are easier, like if your school day runs mostly from 10am-to-2am (which was perfect for me), but... Studying and working on environmental systems, trying to listen to the words in the design lectures, working with new topics I barely understood, in open-ended and self-directed projects, in an open-plan studio, full of noise and distractions... was a nightmare. After a semester of sporadic work, I had a month where I was absolutely unable to work on my studio project AT ALL. (I'd call it a Wall of Awful now, and it's the worst one I've ever faced.) I was stuck there until I pushed myself so hard I hurt myself while finishing it.
I'm still dealing with the damage that did to me. But at least I don't blame myself for it anymore.
My ADHD diagnosis was just a few weeks at age 33!!!! Graduate school in my twenties was unbearable and nearly impossible to finish. I was an urban planning major, but I had studio courses like the architecture and landscape architecture students. At first it was exciting, but then the classes and studio work became overwhelming and I could barely keep up. I felt like such a failure and even attempted suicide in my second year of the program. Having an ADHD diagnosis and treatment at that time would have altered the entire trajectory of my life. Maybe this diagnosis is the missing piece I've been searching for.
I took Architecture classes in highschool and I’ve been doubting myself because my time management was so terrible and I always wanted to work on other stuff but I couldn’t cause I had to finish my site plans first before my elevations. I’ve been pretty positive I have ADHD for years but I’m 18 and I’m thinking of setting up and appointment to see a doctor because I want to know for sure if I have ADHD or not
"It was quit relieving to know that there were something that i have that explains all the crap..." This is exactly how I fell when i was diagnosed.
I discover this channel today and I already love it. I have ADD and was just diagnosed when I was 21. It's good to know that you're not alone. Thank you.
I’m getting just getting diagnosed (I’m 22) and found your channel today. I’m sobbing watching this, so so many things that I recognise and wish I had known sooner. Looking on the bright side I now get to move forward and hopefully things will get a little bit easier.
I am so so grateful for your channel. This video was so so good to hear. I felt the same as him. My ADHD diagnosis at 38 has been an enormous gift.
my earliest Adhd memories I remember being five, always noticing the way the room looks , always avoiding my seat. In first grade I skipped out on cursive class to hide in the bathroom, still know cursive btw. I also was partially deaf which hindered my early learning, the way others and teachers treat you when your different is so hurtful. My experiences and understanding thats its okay to be different lead to work with disabled kids.