As I watch more and more of your vids, I realize that you have the most consistent and well-explained MBTI content on RUclips, like it really all makes sense as a whole. Dope stuff. 👍🏻
I concur. He did an excellent job cutting away all of the garbage and just uses very simple/accurate premises to define the cognitive functions. And since the premises about the cognitive functions are so accurate and interactive with each other, it really is like "Here are eight different things and here is how they behave depending on where they are here on the stack and want to get there on another stack." This is seriously the most profound content I've enjoyed in a long time, and because of the language I picked up from these videos, I was finally able to explain cognitive function interactions with my INFJ wife without crickets chirping afterwards. Sincerely, a thought vampire INFP that feels good from these videos.
Thanks for the hard work! It's really admirable how much info you're able to extrapolate using just the cognitive functions and a handful of underlying principles. Makes it seem less complicated and much more approachable.
An an ENTJ, my girlfriend is an ESFJ. I agree with everything that has been said and wow it’s been the best friendship I’ve ever had. We were long distance friends for an entire year before we even started having a full blown physical relationship. My Te strength of confidence, drive and determination helps her Ti inferior think less stupid of herself. And her Fe hero in her ability to care so much about other people, especially how I feel, only inspires me to want to care about others too. I effortlessly activate her INTP subconscious that she secretly has that almost nobody else gets to discover and I love it. Whereas, she easily activates my ISFP subconscious when I start becoming more sensitive, artistic, and even share to her my past trauma. We literally make eachother happier and this jungian theory couldn’t be more true
My INTJ Dad is married to my ESFJ step mother. She remembers everything for poor Si demon. INTJs need their Fi child validated and Fe hero loves how optimistically moral the INTJ is. The INTJ gets what they want with the ESFJ but will be coached on what should be done especially in social situations which INTJs are notoriously awkward in. INTJs love that the ESFJs are so informative and keep them in the loop. The Se inferior of the INTJ needs consistency and the Si parent of the ESFJ is very responsible and consistent. The INTJ finds the ESFJ very caring and dependable. The ESFJ finds the INTJ confident with a wonderful heart. This is a great marriage pairing especially with an INTJ male and ESFJ female.
ESFJs just get SFPs. The SFPs don’t even have to articulate how they feel fully before the experienced ESFJ knows how they feel and offers care and support. The ESFJs will coach other people how to support their SFPs emotionally. The ESFJ offers the SFPs good choices based on their logic, social norms, and mostly experiences. SFPs give the ESFJ good feelings and a moral compass with the desire their Ne child craves. The ESFJ is caring and loyal which the SFPs need. SFPs typically adore ESFJs which makes them feel desired and appreciated. SFJs and SFPs are great together in any relationship.
as an INTJ i have to mention that some ESFJs are completely unable to think for themselves and that drives me insane. every time i debate with one they end up telling me "you are not an expert therefore your opinion on the matter doesn't matter", even if the subject we are discussing is extremely simple to understand and does not need a PHD to have an opinion on it.
This likely comes from a lack of personal interest in subject matters which makes them accumulate far less knowledge than for instance an INTP. Having less background knowledge the subconscious assumption is that everyone ells around them can't have *that* much more knowledge than they themselves do. Add to that *the very lack of knowledge is what makes it hard to prove to them that they lack it* without being so in their face that it becomes a personal attack.
@@cyberneticbutterfly8506 now that you mentioned it i always hear my ESFJ telling me "we can't understand this subject, experts can" and he said "we" not i ....
I'm ENFP with a fantastic ESFJ friend. I feel like we just get each other and appreciate each other. I have an ENFJ best friend who trained me to listen AND respond the way she likes, so I listen well to the ESFJ and I think this has turned out well for us. She is also very evolved/matured, as have I.
ENTJ female going on a date with ESFJ male tonight and after listening to this + the All About ESFJ video, I'm excited now and more "prepared" to do a lot of listening to give the Ti its day in court 😄🙌
INTJ female getting to know Esfj male. Is the most kind and generous person I’ve ever met. I usually don’t trust anyone, but he is super reliable and has a very strong sense of morality. I trust him immediately which also makes me wonder if I’m stupid and being blind to something important. 😅 I think my genuine appreciation of all the service could be good. I worry because he is always talking about liking to see me smile, but I’m not that smiley in everyday life. Is he going to think I’m not happy if I don’t glue a smile on my face all the time? I’m also not very fashion savvy. Is he going to think I’m slovenly when we meet more casually and I’m not dressed for public appearances? I don’t know, but he seems lovely
20:00 "the most common marriage pairing is the #3 in compatibility for some reason" (paraphrase) I think it's because you don't like doing your 7th and 8th cognitive functions, so when it's time to do them, you'd rather just delegate it to someone who has it in their top 2 functions. Plus introvert/extrovert combines well. That's why. You say it's not optimal, but I think it's suboptimal only when you look at individual aspects of the relationship, but if you look at it more holistically then it's probably optimal, otherwise natural selection wouldn't have selected this type of relationship as the most common.
As an ENTJ I enjoy mature ESFJs who have a developed Ti inferior. They say what they think I should do with confidence and respect offering me positive choices especially if I feel bad about the subject. I ask Se critic to help me with my wardrobe and visual presentation for specific events. They tell me what is socially acceptable which I usually don’t feel obligated to follow but do only because they think I should. They make great teachers because they are usually skilled at meeting people at their instructional level with experiences that are meaningful to people without frustrating them. They patiently kindly teach with many shared meaningful experiences. They are opposed to shaming and frustrating others which causes a loss of retention, animosity towards the material and the person, ultimately wasting time. ENTJs are especially sensitive to this with Fi inferior that by default feels terrible, the need for positive shared experiences with Se child, Ni parent will not respect being obligated to act against his/her will especially if Te hero does not have strong sound logic that is not in conflict with the totemic anecdotal memories of Se child. ESFJs are usually very patient with moving slowly with the ENTJ as they learn socially. They enjoy being helpful on someone else’s terms.
I'm isfp married to esfj husband. I'm weirdly immune to his criticism because there's nothing he can say that I've not already said to myself. E.g. Him (and I quote) > please don't ever write words on the mirror with lipstick or I'll be telling you off. Me scoffing > why would I create more cleaning for myself by writing on a mirror with lipstick?! The Ti inferior thing. I don't really know what that means. He thinks some radically weird stuff and has an opinion on every single thing. I listen intently to support and don't care to change him...as long as he doesn't force me to conform to his beliefs. Amazingly he doesn't. I had this huge fear that he would control me like my ISTJ mom. He doesn't.
My woman is ESFJ-a, I'm INTP-t. We have been together unmarried for 30 years with three children. We have had 5 disagreements in all that time. I'm never sure if I'm perfect for her , however she is 100% perfect for me.
I'm an ESFJ married to an INTJ. I know right? Lol. We met very young (17 &19) and have been together 12 years.We have a great relationship. Where he lacks I make up for and vice versa. I have given him more of a "moral compass" and more of a "social awareness" because he can come off as being very intense without even knowing it. He has helped me think outside of the box and make logical decisions rather than emotional ones.. Yes it's true ESFJs are people pleasers and can tend to be spread thin and put themselves last. He definitely made me comfortable with saying the word NO lol sinply put. I've read that many INTJs are cold but I don't ever get that side of him. He's very caring, nurturing and attentive. With INTJs you really have to tell then exactly how you feel because they simply wont read between the lines lol we learned that the hard way in our very early years... So he's made me a much better communicator. We are great together..truly ying and yang but it WORKS! He makes me feel brave and helps me think outside the box..I'm a traditionalist by nature so thinking outside the box isn't something I practiced. I am constantly learning from him. His thirst for knowledge is so attractive to me. According to everything I read about our personality tyoes we are the worst match possible but here we are madly inlove with 2 children. 💝
My moms an esfj and im an infp. I just cant seem to help her better our relationship because when she comes home everyday she wants to turn the Ti Off completely and cripple it, so she drinks a bit. Then i just see things coming with my ne & she cant really put things together and come to simple conclusions...then i would explain but she will pretend to listen, ignore me or get confused..even interrupt me. its dumb really, and because of my se im like...bound to her. Are you bound to your mom like that too? :s
I'm an ISFP with an ESFJ bf and from 7:30 you are literally describing our relationship to the dot it's almost scary!! He's ALWAYS asking for what I want but never tells me what he wants... He says that he is fine as long as I'm fine (all the time)!!! Sometimes I want him to tell me what he wants because I feel like I'm too selfish compared to him, then get confused because he never knows what he wants😅
as an ISFP with an ESFJ bf, I agree with this. He is also very supportive at building foundation of my art career, and even helped me gain audiences. I also feel selfish everytime we follow doing things I like and he'll always reply to me that what I like is what he also likes.
As an ESFJ I've always found thr ISTP type the most attractive and compatible! I personally think this works well for growth because my dominant function can help with their inferior and vice versa. I find myself clashing alot with Fi doms e.g ISFP, INFP and Fi users in general like INTJs because Fe values are very different to Fi values. I just wanted to know why people think ISFP is more compatible over ISTP? *Editing because alot of people are assuming I'm an estj lool - by "clashing" I mean they rub me the wrong way and I have to politely disagree. And no I did not find my result on 16P loool people are using Esfj and Estj stereotypes to suggest I'm mistyped rather than answer my question! Anyone who knows me irl can tell I'm veryyy Fe Dom xxx
I agree and I’m an esfj. I’ve recently met an istp and I have never been more attracted to a man in my entire life. I can’t explain it and I don’t think it’s normal.
@@Art_Noxolo rly doubt that your esfj guess you find it out on 16 personality i guess, that site is unreliable, met fe doms in my life they never get angry or took offense when my fi explodes there the most caring and understanding type, the difference with te dom and fe dom is fe gentler on the way they talk, unlike te dom they not good foe emotional support they will force there opinion on you unlike fe they will understand you, te dom is so forcefull and always ordering you.
I'm esfj and my husband is intp and best friend is isfj lol. While my husband and I have are differences, we have deep conversations and share the same basic principles on many things and enjoy having fun together. There are obvious differences but we are still compatible. He's more intellectual and I'm more outgoing and talkative but it would be boring to be with someone too similar
CS Joseph, you're the best man, I really frickin appreciate your videos cause I'm diggin MBTI deep atm, and your videos are just so simple and so understandable for an ESFJ like me who dislikes complex stuff. Love you love you love you!
I’m def infp and my bf just took the test. He might be ESFJ. We talked about the differences of our personalities. He said he liked how I talk about deep things and I know he’ll get a head fog when I tell him about some story ideas ( now I know and so I can’t be offended haha!). I appreciate his groundedness. He helps~ and, he’s open to listen about my stories ( I repeat or explain until things are concrete ) He’s such a good guy and very loving! Something I’ve wanted in a relationship. My dad might have been istj and was very judgemental of my aspirations. My bf, is very supportive and says I’m an inspiration. If he’s mistyped, what type could he be? I was hoping he was infj cuz that’s prob the type which could be comforting.
I think the 4 categories are pretty interesting. I'm realizing that each of the 4 categories of social relationships (depending on the 4 perceiving functions) achieve different things. Let's define "dominant" as "being in the top 2 slots". If I'm Ni dominant, then Ni-dominant will give me highest competition (lowest compatibility). Si-dominant will give me highest delegation (2nd highest compatibility), Se-dominant will give me highest expansion (of my comfort zone) (2nd lowest compatibility). And Ne-dominant will give me highest harmony (#1 highest compatibility). So there is no universally optimal or suboptimal relationship. My hypothesis is that each of the 16 relationships you can have is optimal for different purposes, and it just depends on what you're optimizing for. And based on my description above, It seems like the 4 categories of relationships are optimal depending on those 4 goals that I mentioned. But within each of those 4, there's probably going to be more specific sub-goals that the given relationship can optimize for
I am an INTP man... my father is an ESFJ. I typed him today using your method of 4 interaction styles and 4 temperaments... then I look up compatibility... and this explains all the childhood abuse that came from my dad. It doesn't make any of it right, but I see why we're just not compatible in any way... we literally disagree on everything and everything was a fight which I couldn't win because he was older and stronger and was willing to take things further and be more abusive and toxic. HOLY SHIT.
Oof, yeah. My fiance's an INFP and his dad an ESFJ. My fiance learned how to maneuver within his ESFJ dad's minefield over the years and has the patience of a damn saint, so he was able to come out the other side with minimal emotional scarring, all things considered. However, I can only imagine how tormenting it must have been for you as an INTP to have to grow up with a temperamental ESFJ dad. I'm sorry, friend, but I'm glad MBTI has offered you some clarity/closure on the matter.
18:15 "The ESFJ is like 'don't worry we're gonna create new experiences together' " I think that's not accurate for Se critic since it's not criticizing. I think that Se critic is more like "hey how can you eat the food just like that? Try adding some spices and sauce so it will taste better" I was told this at a previous job when I ate just plain rice, and my colleagues told me "come on, this is just sad, go and get some sauce to add it with the rice, why are you eating just plain rice?" (and I got Si in 8th slot so I don't really care about the physical sensation I'm having)
My father in law is an ESFJ, and we get along great when he's in a good mood, but if I offend him in any way ie. not spending enough time with him as an ISFP (I need my alone time, especially with the amount of small talk he likes to engage in when we come in contact) and/or failing to meet his expectations in some regard, I'll find myself on his bad side and he'll give me the cold shoulder. Not fun. One thing I despise is that one cannot reason with him through logic when he gets upset/emotional, it's his way or the highway. Needless to say, as an ISFP, my experience with him has been unpleasant, though I'm sure that's entirely due to the fact that he's extremely thick-brained and has undealt with anger management issues.
This video was very insightful for me. I am an INTP, and I have a few ESFJs in my life, including my mom. I have experienced high levels of comaraderie with this type, but never connect on a deeper level. I did try having a friendship with one, and it was quite short-lived, so your assessment definitely aligns with my experience. I would not recommend it either.
If I’m dating a confirmed ESFJ male and I’m an INFJ female, what are potential issues? Any advice? I’ve been fortunate to always have very moral infps and ENFP’s in my life and am also an enneagram 1 so have high moral standards. It’s pretty early into dating and I always thought I wanted to be with a mature INFP male but this ESFJ has his shit together, we have a great time together, and we have aligned values/morals. I never thought I’d be into an extrovert again so it’s making me a little nervous.
INTJ-ESFJs should be #1... it's true they make me feel super comfortable they don't even care if I'm awkward. I sorta gave my ESFJ a hard time I don't think other types would've stuck it out tbh :p Oops...I'm always telling my ESFJ he's not as thoughtful as I want him to be! That's why he gets passive aggressive! You saying #3 relationships are the most common marriages? Well great I won't mind this foreshadowing.
I’m so sorry. ESFJs are so triggered by NTPs and NTPs are triggered by SFJs. They don’t listen to each other’s thinking and they feel terrible about their interactions. It’s a very uncomfortable experience for both.
I keep seeing that ESFJ's and ISFP's are compatable, but I'm an ISFP and pretty much can't stand the ESFJ's in my life. The ones I know are very traditional and some are very religious. The older I get, the more my motto in life becomes 'live and let live', and every esfj I know disagrees with that saying.😂 If you don't adhere to their standards of how people should behave, they will judge you, and I can't imagine an ISFP being compatible with that. 🤔
I am ISFP and I am very traditional and religious also. And my motto is "live and let it flow" . I have ESFJ boyfriend and we are a super good couple i think 😂
Hey, please dont mistype estj as esfj. Basic traits to realise ESTJ is that they are negative, control, complain, logic all the time. And real ISFP have no problem with real ESFJ. - ESFJ
I know this is planing way ahead but after you do this series.Can you do a series describing the movement and control based personality functions? You skimmed on it in the past and I want to understand better how I move through data because I am a triple movement personality.
My mum is Esfj and I am an Isfp. We always have problems communicating with each other. She considers me as stubborn and weird and I am sometimes irritated by how controlling and rigid she is. My mum’s fe makes her offer way too much that I could possibly accept and sometimes offer what she thinks I need but I don’t. fi dominant types hate being controlled, I actually question how this ideal compatibility would work out in real life. Is it because we are both immature for our own type?
Z SIQI i think because it’s family relationship i know close friend esfj and if people know me will they know I don’t talk to anyone I’m like weirdo emo boy but when esfj comes i talk to them without feeling bored because they understand it’s like they don’t force me to do anythin I don’t feel controlled when I’m around them and they are so nice that i can die for them they notice small details like my birthday and when i want something that i know I can’t have it I’ll forget about it but then esfj is like “ is this what you want ? “ and I’m like whaaattt xD
Another great video. As an Isfp, I have attracted ESFJ women folk into my life like flies on.....anyway, as I look back, I would say some 75% of my friendships have been esfj. I work remotely from the plant I'm employed at, and of 16 CSR there....i ended up friends and great colleagues with the esfj female, even though most of our communication is via phone or email. im not even sure how it happened. The rest of my 25 person dept, and the rest of her 16 person dept, seethe when we are used as *the* example of how to work together as a powerhouse. lol. She handmakes me a scarf every Christmas, sends me cards, and presents me with other token gifts each time I'm on site (few times a year) and arranges her schedule to host me for dinner etc at those same times. Nailed it!!
Hi, CS Joseph This is a bit confusing for me maybe because I am not a native English user. Just when you are talking about compatibility, you mentioned that its about the level if two personality fit each other. However, I, as a ESFJ, find ISFPs boring and do not want to become friends with them even at the beginning of a friendship. So, yes, we would have high compatibility but the friendship would not even start or happen. (in my case, only two cases). How do we explain that??
It kinda works in so far as setting example for eachother's subconscious, allowing for mimickry and with it a growing confidence in the use of that side. However it can be super strained (I'm currently barely on speaking terms with my ESFJ old man as I had enough of his ignorant, unfair and hyprocritical judgements of me). Given that you can't just trade your kid in for a more compatible one (even though the world would likely be a LOT better if we had a system setup for that, without super-negative stigma against it), to be the best parent you can, study the crap out of the kid's type and judge them based on that, rather than against YOUR expectations of them, which're based on your type. If you're in a relationship that has great "social compatability", then defer to them more than you'd ideally like as they should have much better compatability with your kid. Unfortunately for me, my mum was an alcoholic, with severe drinking issues throughout my life (until she died from excessive alcohol), so she was essentially absent and unable to fulfill that role for me. Bear in mind, whilst you'll be pretty damn similar in many ways, you're also very different, including in the ways you're similar so whilst it'll be hard to allow them to be themselves (especially when around others and they're embarassing you), you're gonna have to learn to accept those differences and adjust yourself as the mature adult, rather than force them to adjust to you, thus completely screwing up their childhood. You chose to have a child, it's your responsibility to make allowances, not theirs.
“Te parent may have super high requirements and may be like ‘you’re not as thoughtful as I would want’” Lol earlier in this very video you said ESFJ was literally the most thoughtful type. Why would a less thoughtful type be inclined to think the most thoughtful type was not thoughtful enough?
I have a question that may piggyback on a previous video. Aside from the order of the cognitive functions and the parent function in relation to the child function, is there a 'key' reason why the ESFJ is compatible to the INTJ versus the INTP? If so, is that reason related to the Te (Parent function of the INTJ) and the Ti (inferior function of the ESFJ) and the fact that Ti function is the hero function in the INTP? The reason why I am asking is due to the fact that you had stated that you had an INTP friend that left an abusive relationship and I have seen this play out. In laymen terms, it seems that if INTPs become overcritical in the use of their Ti function (but passive or not communicative in terms of what is desired), it would cause serious conflict with an ESFJ that is not secure with his/her thought process. Also, what are your thoughts on birth order? Do you think birth order (through nurture) may have an effect on the rate of development - particularly for the inferior and child functions? If so, that seems it would add a new dimension in terms of compatibility. Thanks in advance.
Is there a key reason why the ESFJ is compatible with the INTJ vs. the INTP? -Imagine two receivers having sex with no giver present. The Se critic of the ESFJ would be giving Si child so much shit for "underperforming" because the ESFJ perceives it that way even if the INTP is an excellent lover. This is just one example. Te vs. Ti? -Yes it relates to the Te funtion as you described. Birth order? That is very interesting, we should discuss this at length, like on a Q and A session.
You see interactions between types differently than socionics in terms of how functions react to each other. Could you give an explanation (or link to a video) on why your perspective is right? For instance, why do hero Fe and Fi complement each other, instead of Fe tiring out Fi like what others say? Loving your content by the way.
I'm an Fe user and I don't really get along with Fi users in general so I still prefer seeing it as a clash. I can't bear Fi as a dominant function in particular - it's far too judgemental and narrow-minded. I don't find that I need Fi users to keep me moral either - they might have their own morals but it doesn't mean I'm going to copy theirs as I have my own ideas about life.
I'm an INFJ with well-developed Ti and in the dominant position Fi really irritates me although it might be just a personal preference. I like *NTJs though so it doesn't seem to bother me if it's lower down.
Can you provide any tangible example, historic or public, of an ESFJ+INTJ couple working out in the long-term? Following this pattern, a good match for ENTP is ISFP? And for the INTP, ESFP? If you have a video explaining those dynamics, I'd appreciate a link to it.
I'm asking from the perspective of a complete relationship, and sex, although an important part of a relationship, is only one aspect of a functional romantic relationship.
InHerHonor I cannot provide any examples of that Romantic relationship outside of what I have encountered and observed myself. The most recent one was at my last job in Sacramento. An INTJ technician married an ESFJ cook at the hospital I worked at.
I was looking for the ESFJ female and me as a ENFG, in our early 60s...It looks pretty neutral on the list. Maybe we will both try to out please the other.
Little annoyed that you told me to go watch another video about brain waves or something without bothering to link it. You didn't bother to mention the title, only the subject.
Luisa, you need to check out CS Joseph's video on how to type, and also watch his video "Who Are the ESFJs?" After watching, you will be pretty certain whether or not your boyfriend is an ESFJ. Then watch his video on ESFJ Virtue and Vice - it has some truly great advice, though the delivery is pretty harsh (don't let that turn you off to what he's saying though, just understand the content). Also, watch this video in its entirety, because the INFJ-ESFJ match has some things in common with the INTJ-ESFJ match which he discusses in this video. Both INFJs and INTJs have Ni as the dominant function and Se as the inferior function, and these are both functions that the ESFJ, as an Ne and Si user, is seeking. In this respect, the INTJ-ESFJ and INFJ-ESFJ relationships are similar and the advice he gives to INTJs in this video will still be relevant to you. The difference is that INTJs also have the Te and Fi functions, which ESFJs, as Ti and Fe users, are seeking. Unfortunately, INFJs don't have these in their ego, they have Ti and Fe which the ESFJ already has. So theoretically, the INTJ-ESFJ match is better than the INFJ-ESFJ match, however, I believe the INFJ-ESFJ match can still work well IF you know what you're doing. CS Joseph has the highest quality MBTI related videos on RUclips. His videos will help you a lot.
I've seen several of your videos and still not sure if I'm an INTP or an INTJ but, it seems after watching your video of how the INTP's compare to INTJ's, I think I'm an INTP. Of course I take a couple of different tests several times a day and usually comes out as an INTP. Then I want to analyze every question to be sure. One test I came out as an INTJ which is why I'm confused. Even your grid for typing anyone I still think I may be an INTP. My wife on her MBTI test comes out as being an ENTJ but, I just always assumed that the test was wrong and she is really an ENFJ because she is emotional. Can gender affect a persons MBTI? However, we usually get along quite well besides when she, you know, gets very emotional at times. Sometimes her emotions make no logical sense at all! And she always wants to do something where as I just would rather stay home most of the time. I go out just to appease her and I go out because I know she needs this. Other than that we get along quite well. My problem is I'm just trying to figure all this out and not sure how!?!?!? Anyway, I tell her all the time that if she would just agree with me all the time then we will get along just fine. But, she just looks at me with a funny look when I say that... Well, the last part is a little dry sense of humor on my part but it still gives me a little laugh when I say it...and sometimes she does too. You should see the look on peoples faces when I say that to my wife in front of them. MOST get that I'm just teasing. There's is always that one person though...
C.S. Joseph so clever is spooky! I take my Skateboard out of my Pokeball and she tells me she feels like this ruclips.net/video/Ak6ynwcCv1Q/видео.html 😁
From a high level overview it's good chemistry, bad emotional compatibility. A big hurdle is Neither cares what the other thinks and that's the thing that hurts each of you the most
I’ve noticed a pattern among the MBTI types, although they may not always be true... it is just so interesting, because I realized many types’ parents are the opposite of them or have a duality relationship with them. For example, I’m an INFJ, my mother is an ESTP, and another INFJ I know has an ESTP father. My friend is an ISFP, her mother’s an ENTJ. I know many INTPs whose mothers are ESFJs, and as you have mentioned, you are an ENTP whose mother is an ISFJ. Does this have anything to do with type, or how they were brought up as children? I don’t know, just wondering...
We don't know if its a coincidence or not. But we are working on a system that should tell us the answer in due time. These algorithms will be used to help determine that in the near future. Hopefully it doesn't turn into mental eugenics. My INFJ mentor had an ESTP father.
My functions are inherited. I'm an INTP and so is my father. I come from a long line of thinkers. My grandfather was an engineer for NASA, his brother was an aircraft pilot in the Air Force, and my father teaches solar tech to people. When I go to family reunions on that side, we all have lively conversations about science and technology. I can also tell that Fe is well developed next to Ti in our family because everyone is really kind and caring towards each other. But we're also mostly introverts, so it's hard to get us to come outside lol.
C.S. Joseph When I said inherited, I meant passed down in the family. Maybe not genetically, but it seems that parents teach their children to value certain functions over others. Like how culture and belief systems are inherited.
I was thinking. Your videos are interesting but I think flawed because you rely to much on logic. I’m specifically referring to your comparability videos. It just doesn’t make sense that all types are compatible in the same way following some algorithm. Surely there are some who have great compatibility with more types that others. This over reliance on your Ti to try and simplify things that cannot be simplified logically is flawed I believe.
okay, why are you judging me on just social compatibility? What about face to face algorithm? What about shoulder to shoulder? Will you be patient enough to allow me the time to release lectures about each component of compatibility as well as camaraderie? Before you make your judgment?
C.S. Joseph 😊 it’s not a judgement. I appreciate your videos; many of us do. I am merely questioning your assumptions or basis. If these are off, it’s possible that some reflection is required.
I would posit that they are off but I appreciate your comment regardless. I will do my best to provide additional clarity as my social compatibility playlist is just one piece of the puzzle.
As I watch more and more of your vids, I realize that you have the most consistent and well-explained MBTI content on RUclips, like it really all makes sense as a whole. Dope stuff. 👍🏻
Thanks bro!
I concur. He did an excellent job cutting away all of the garbage and just uses very simple/accurate premises to define the cognitive functions. And since the premises about the cognitive functions are so accurate and interactive with each other, it really is like "Here are eight different things and here is how they behave depending on where they are here on the stack and want to get there on another stack."
This is seriously the most profound content I've enjoyed in a long time, and because of the language I picked up from these videos, I was finally able to explain cognitive function interactions with my INFJ wife without crickets chirping afterwards.
Sincerely, a thought vampire INFP that feels good from these videos.
tim s I am eternally thankful for you sharing this comment, thank you.
Thanks for the hard work! It's really admirable how much info you're able to extrapolate using just the cognitive functions and a handful of underlying principles. Makes it seem less complicated and much more approachable.
An an ENTJ, my girlfriend is an ESFJ. I agree with everything that has been said and wow it’s been the best friendship I’ve ever had. We were long distance friends for an entire year before we even started having a full blown physical relationship.
My Te strength of confidence, drive and determination helps her Ti inferior think less stupid of herself. And her Fe hero in her ability to care so much about other people, especially how I feel, only inspires me to want to care about others too.
I effortlessly activate her INTP subconscious that she secretly has that almost nobody else gets to discover and I love it. Whereas, she easily activates my ISFP subconscious when I start becoming more sensitive, artistic, and even share to her my past trauma.
We literally make eachother happier and this jungian theory couldn’t be more true
My INTJ Dad is married to my ESFJ step mother. She remembers everything for poor Si demon. INTJs need their Fi child validated and Fe hero loves how optimistically moral the INTJ is. The INTJ gets what they want with the ESFJ but will be coached on what should be done especially in social situations which INTJs are notoriously awkward in. INTJs love that the ESFJs are so informative and keep them in the loop. The Se inferior of the INTJ needs consistency and the Si parent of the ESFJ is very responsible and consistent. The INTJ finds the ESFJ very caring and dependable. The ESFJ finds the INTJ confident with a wonderful heart. This is a great marriage pairing especially with an INTJ male and ESFJ female.
I’m an ISFP with an ESFJ husband.. I didn’t realize how easy we have it haha 😅 we genuinely never have conflict
definatelyyyyy
ESFJs just get SFPs. The SFPs don’t even have to articulate how they feel fully before the experienced ESFJ knows how they feel and offers care and support. The ESFJs will coach other people how to support their SFPs emotionally. The ESFJ offers the SFPs good choices based on their logic, social norms, and mostly experiences. SFPs give the ESFJ good feelings and a moral compass with the desire their Ne child craves. The ESFJ is caring and loyal which the SFPs need. SFPs typically adore ESFJs which makes them feel desired and appreciated. SFJs and SFPs are great together in any relationship.
as an INTJ i have to mention that some ESFJs are completely unable to think for themselves and that drives me insane. every time i debate with one they end up telling me "you are not an expert therefore your opinion on the matter doesn't matter", even if the subject we are discussing is extremely simple to understand and does not need a PHD to have an opinion on it.
This likely comes from a lack of personal interest in subject matters which makes them accumulate far less knowledge than for instance an INTP.
Having less background knowledge the subconscious assumption is that everyone ells around them can't have *that* much more knowledge than they themselves do.
Add to that *the very lack of knowledge is what makes it hard to prove to them that they lack it* without being so in their face that it becomes a personal attack.
@@cyberneticbutterfly8506 now that you mentioned it i always hear my ESFJ telling me "we can't understand this subject, experts can" and he said "we" not i ....
INTJs and ESFJs are the two most common types to think their Ti is WAY better than it is when it's not even Ti child level
You're right, seeing esfj and intp is so tiring. Especially when they argue, it's like... i just want to go to somewhere peaceful.
I'm ENFP with a fantastic ESFJ friend. I feel like we just get each other and appreciate each other. I have an ENFJ best friend who trained me to listen AND respond the way she likes, so I listen well to the ESFJ and I think this has turned out well for us. She is also very evolved/matured, as have I.
As am I (I hope!)
ENTJ female going on a date with ESFJ male tonight and after listening to this + the All About ESFJ video, I'm excited now and more "prepared" to do a lot of listening to give the Ti its day in court 😄🙌
AWESOME!!! Good luck!
How did the date go in the end?
Guess that date didn't go all to well....
@@henkster6067 Seems that way
I realized I am an ESFJ!!! So going on a date with another ESFJ did not go anywhere 🙃 😅
INTJ female getting to know Esfj male. Is the most kind and generous person I’ve ever met. I usually don’t trust anyone, but he is super reliable and has a very strong sense of morality. I trust him immediately which also makes me wonder if I’m stupid and being blind to something important. 😅
I think my genuine appreciation of all the service could be good. I worry because he is always talking about liking to see me smile, but I’m not that smiley in everyday life. Is he going to think I’m not happy if I don’t glue a smile on my face all the time? I’m also not very fashion savvy. Is he going to think I’m slovenly when we meet more casually and I’m not dressed for public appearances? I don’t know, but he seems lovely
I’m an ESFJ and I am currently working with an ISFJ. The competition to out SFJ the other never ends!
20:00 "the most common marriage pairing is the #3 in compatibility for some reason" (paraphrase) I think it's because you don't like doing your 7th and 8th cognitive functions, so when it's time to do them, you'd rather just delegate it to someone who has it in their top 2 functions. Plus introvert/extrovert combines well. That's why. You say it's not optimal, but I think it's suboptimal only when you look at individual aspects of the relationship, but if you look at it more holistically then it's probably optimal, otherwise natural selection wouldn't have selected this type of relationship as the most common.
I think you may be right
Loving the ESFJ content Chase! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
There are SOME ESFJs out there who care about self improvement 😂👀☺️
As an ENTJ I enjoy mature ESFJs who have a developed Ti inferior. They say what they think I should do with confidence and respect offering me positive choices especially if I feel bad about the subject. I ask Se critic to help me with my wardrobe and visual presentation for specific events. They tell me what is socially acceptable which I usually don’t feel obligated to follow but do only because they think I should.
They make great teachers because they are usually skilled at meeting people at their instructional level with experiences that are meaningful to people without frustrating them. They patiently kindly teach with many shared meaningful experiences. They are opposed to shaming and frustrating others which causes a loss of retention, animosity towards the material and the person, ultimately wasting time. ENTJs are especially sensitive to this with Fi inferior that by default feels terrible, the need for positive shared experiences with Se child, Ni parent will not respect being obligated to act against his/her will especially if Te hero does not have strong sound logic that is not in conflict with the totemic anecdotal memories of Se child. ESFJs are usually very patient with moving slowly with the ENTJ as they learn socially. They enjoy being helpful on someone else’s terms.
I'm isfp married to esfj husband. I'm weirdly immune to his criticism because there's nothing he can say that I've not already said to myself.
E.g. Him (and I quote) > please don't ever write words on the mirror with lipstick or I'll be telling you off.
Me scoffing > why would I create more cleaning for myself by writing on a mirror with lipstick?!
The Ti inferior thing. I don't really know what that means. He thinks some radically weird stuff and has an opinion on every single thing. I listen intently to support and don't care to change him...as long as he doesn't force me to conform to his beliefs. Amazingly he doesn't. I had this huge fear that he would control me like my ISTJ mom. He doesn't.
Sounds like great compatibility :)
I really love this comment ~ ESFJ
My woman is ESFJ-a, I'm INTP-t.
We have been together unmarried for 30 years with three children.
We have had 5 disagreements in all that time. I'm never sure if I'm perfect for her , however she is 100% perfect for me.
One of you two is mistyped, i am pretty sure of that
@@ashuranero5721 The A/T gives it away 😂 noone that is into Cognitive Functions mentions this
I'm an ESFJ married to an INTJ. I know right? Lol. We met very young (17 &19) and have been together 12 years.We have a great relationship. Where he lacks I make up for and vice versa. I have given him more of a "moral compass" and more of a "social awareness" because he can come off as being very intense without even knowing it. He has helped me think outside of the box and make logical decisions rather than emotional ones.. Yes it's true ESFJs are people pleasers and can tend to be spread thin and put themselves last. He definitely made me comfortable with saying the word NO lol sinply put. I've read that many INTJs are cold but I don't ever get that side of him. He's very caring, nurturing and attentive. With INTJs you really have to tell then exactly how you feel because they simply wont read between the lines lol we learned that the hard way in our very early years... So he's made me a much better communicator. We are great together..truly ying and yang but it WORKS! He makes me feel brave and helps me think outside the box..I'm a traditionalist by nature so thinking outside the box isn't something I practiced. I am constantly learning from him. His thirst for knowledge is so attractive to me. According to everything I read about our personality tyoes we are the worst match possible but here we are madly inlove with 2 children. 💝
its a great match
How did you guys met?
My mother is an ESFJ, I'm an INTP...
My condolences.
same :'(
My moms an esfj and im an infp. I just cant seem to help her better our relationship because when she comes home everyday she wants to turn the Ti Off completely and cripple it, so she drinks a bit. Then i just see things coming with my ne & she cant really put things together and come to simple conclusions...then i would explain but she will pretend to listen, ignore me or get confused..even interrupt me. its dumb really, and because of my se im like...bound to her. Are you bound to your mom like that too? :s
@@Be-qy2zw same my mother is ESFJ and I'm INFP too.
Same, it’s tough
I'm an ISFP with an ESFJ bf and from 7:30 you are literally describing our relationship to the dot it's almost scary!! He's ALWAYS asking for what I want but never tells me what he wants... He says that he is fine as long as I'm fine (all the time)!!! Sometimes I want him to tell me what he wants because I feel like I'm too selfish compared to him, then get confused because he never knows what he wants😅
Congrats. I need to find mind myself an ESFJ hubby, they're such a good match 👍🏻
as an ISFP with an ESFJ bf, I agree with this. He is also very supportive at building foundation of my art career, and even helped me gain audiences. I also feel selfish everytime we follow doing things I like and he'll always reply to me that what I like is what he also likes.
As an ESFJ I've always found thr ISTP type the most attractive and compatible! I personally think this works well for growth because my dominant function can help with their inferior and vice versa. I find myself clashing alot with Fi doms e.g ISFP, INFP and Fi users in general like INTJs because Fe values are very different to Fi values. I just wanted to know why people think ISFP is more compatible over ISTP?
*Editing because alot of people are assuming I'm an estj lool - by "clashing" I mean they rub me the wrong way and I have to politely disagree. And no I did not find my result on 16P loool people are using Esfj and Estj stereotypes to suggest I'm mistyped rather than answer my question! Anyone who knows me irl can tell I'm veryyy Fe Dom xxx
I'd love to know your thoughts on ISTP VS ISFP in terms of the most compatabile for ESFJ please?
Are you sure you are esfj and not estj? Estjs are compatible with istps
I agree and I’m an esfj. I’ve recently met an istp and I have never been more attracted to a man in my entire life. I can’t explain it and I don’t think it’s normal.
@@Art_Noxolo rly doubt that your esfj guess you find it out on 16 personality i guess, that site is unreliable, met fe doms in my life they never get angry or took offense when my fi explodes there the most caring and understanding type, the difference with te dom and fe dom is fe gentler on the way they talk, unlike te dom they not good foe emotional support they will force there opinion on you unlike fe they will understand you, te dom is so forcefull and always ordering you.
As an ESFJ with my most recent ex being ISTP and my new interest being an ISFP, I'm very interested to know this.
I'm esfj and my husband is intp and best friend is isfj lol. While my husband and I have are differences, we have deep conversations and share the same basic principles on many things and enjoy having fun together. There are obvious differences but we are still compatible. He's more intellectual and I'm more outgoing and talkative but it would be boring to be with someone too similar
Any relationship is possible, it just some relationships require more energy/maturity than others. that, or someone is mistyped.
CS Joseph, you're the best man, I really frickin appreciate your videos cause I'm diggin MBTI deep atm, and your videos are just so simple and so understandable for an ESFJ like me who dislikes complex stuff. Love you love you love you!
I’m def infp and my bf just took the test. He might be ESFJ. We talked about the differences of our personalities. He said he liked how I talk about deep things and I know he’ll get a head fog when I tell him about some story ideas ( now I know and so I can’t be offended haha!). I appreciate his groundedness. He helps~ and, he’s open to listen about my stories ( I repeat or explain until things are concrete )
He’s such a good guy and very loving! Something I’ve wanted in a relationship.
My dad might have been istj and was very judgemental of my aspirations. My bf, is very supportive and says I’m an inspiration.
If he’s mistyped, what type could he be?
I was hoping he was infj cuz that’s prob the type which could be comforting.
I love, love LOVE your videos! So informative and on point. Thank you for all you do...
Thanks for the support!
Im an esfj with an intp together for a year and half, we hardly ever have issues that we can't communicate through . Maybe a rarity 🤷🏻♀️
Maybe mistyped?
Yeah took it again two times and got istj
I think the 4 categories are pretty interesting. I'm realizing that each of the 4 categories of social relationships (depending on the 4 perceiving functions) achieve different things. Let's define "dominant" as "being in the top 2 slots". If I'm Ni dominant, then Ni-dominant will give me highest competition (lowest compatibility). Si-dominant will give me highest delegation (2nd highest compatibility), Se-dominant will give me highest expansion (of my comfort zone) (2nd lowest compatibility). And Ne-dominant will give me highest harmony (#1 highest compatibility). So there is no universally optimal or suboptimal relationship. My hypothesis is that each of the 16 relationships you can have is optimal for different purposes, and it just depends on what you're optimizing for. And based on my description above, It seems like the 4 categories of relationships are optimal depending on those 4 goals that I mentioned. But within each of those 4, there's probably going to be more specific sub-goals that the given relationship can optimize for
I am an INTP man... my father is an ESFJ. I typed him today using your method of 4 interaction styles and 4 temperaments... then I look up compatibility... and this explains all the childhood abuse that came from my dad. It doesn't make any of it right, but I see why we're just not compatible in any way... we literally disagree on everything and everything was a fight which I couldn't win because he was older and stronger and was willing to take things further and be more abusive and toxic. HOLY SHIT.
Oof, yeah. My fiance's an INFP and his dad an ESFJ. My fiance learned how to maneuver within his ESFJ dad's minefield over the years and has the patience of a damn saint, so he was able to come out the other side with minimal emotional scarring, all things considered. However, I can only imagine how tormenting it must have been for you as an INTP to have to grow up with a temperamental ESFJ dad. I'm sorry, friend, but I'm glad MBTI has offered you some clarity/closure on the matter.
Wow I'm one lucky SOB. Both my wife and my boss are perfectly compatible with me!! Crazy cause they are opposite in so many ways!
Yay I am an INTP in a romantic relationship with and ESFJ! Socioeconomics are great! yayyyy...
Isn't it socionics?
18:15 "The ESFJ is like 'don't worry we're gonna create new experiences together' " I think that's not accurate for Se critic since it's not criticizing. I think that Se critic is more like "hey how can you eat the food just like that? Try adding some spices and sauce so it will taste better" I was told this at a previous job when I ate just plain rice, and my colleagues told me "come on, this is just sad, go and get some sauce to add it with the rice, why are you eating just plain rice?" (and I got Si in 8th slot so I don't really care about the physical sensation I'm having)
My wife and daughter in law are both ESFJs and. both think they know what is best for our son. A true shit show as you say.
My father in law is an ESFJ, and we get along great when he's in a good mood, but if I offend him in any way ie. not spending enough time with him as an ISFP (I need my alone time, especially with the amount of small talk he likes to engage in when we come in contact) and/or failing to meet his expectations in some regard, I'll find myself on his bad side and he'll give me the cold shoulder. Not fun. One thing I despise is that one cannot reason with him through logic when he gets upset/emotional, it's his way or the highway. Needless to say, as an ISFP, my experience with him has been unpleasant, though I'm sure that's entirely due to the fact that he's extremely thick-brained and has undealt with anger management issues.
Thank you so much to Outrageous Mermaid! Great video!
Uggghhhh INTP here with ESFJ...... MOTHER! The horror! To say the least we have a difficult relationship
This video was very insightful for me. I am an INTP, and I have a few ESFJs in my life, including my mom. I have experienced high levels of comaraderie with this type, but never connect on a deeper level. I did try having a friendship with one, and it was quite short-lived, so your assessment definitely aligns with my experience. I would not recommend it either.
If I’m dating a confirmed ESFJ male and I’m an INFJ female, what are potential issues? Any advice? I’ve been fortunate to always have very moral infps and ENFP’s in my life and am also an enneagram 1 so have high moral standards. It’s pretty early into dating and I always thought I wanted to be with a mature INFP male but this ESFJ has his shit together, we have a great time together, and we have aligned values/morals. I never thought I’d be into an extrovert again so it’s making me a little nervous.
INTJ-ESFJs should be #1... it's true they make me feel super comfortable they don't even care if I'm awkward.
I sorta gave my ESFJ a hard time I don't think other types would've stuck it out tbh :p
Oops...I'm always telling my ESFJ he's not as thoughtful as I want him to be! That's why he gets passive aggressive!
You saying #3 relationships are the most common marriages? Well great I won't mind this foreshadowing.
I think NP should be higher than SJ on the top-right side of board
Mom's an ESFJ I'm an ENTP PAIN IS ALL I KNOW
Examples?
I’m so sorry. ESFJs are so triggered by NTPs and NTPs are triggered by SFJs. They don’t listen to each other’s thinking and they feel terrible about their interactions. It’s a very uncomfortable experience for both.
I keep seeing that ESFJ's and ISFP's are compatable, but I'm an ISFP and pretty much can't stand the ESFJ's in my life. The ones I know are very traditional and some are very religious. The older I get, the more my motto in life becomes 'live and let live', and every esfj I know disagrees with that saying.😂
If you don't adhere to their standards of how people should behave, they will judge you, and I can't imagine an ISFP being compatible with that. 🤔
Interesting, me being an isfp am very compatible with my esfj brother and we get along really well.
Maybe they are estjs in your life and not esfj
I am ISFP and I am very traditional and religious also. And my motto is "live and let it flow" . I have ESFJ boyfriend and we are a super good couple i think 😂
@@ashuranero5721 agreed those are estj pure fi based on description, fe on the other hand adapt on others needs.
Hey, please dont mistype estj as esfj. Basic traits to realise ESTJ is that they are negative, control, complain, logic all the time. And real ISFP have no problem with real ESFJ. - ESFJ
I know this is planing way ahead but after you do this series.Can you do a series describing the movement and control based personality functions? You skimmed on it in the past and I want to understand better how I move through data because I am a triple movement personality.
it is on the schedule!
Thank you!
Has your Si only memorized the black shirt as a form of fashion sense or are you setting up a standardized view of yourself for the videos?
Taking a page out of Steve JObs book, but note I film everything at once these days.
so funny 😂
but I think the fashion sense is more of an Se job...
7:32 ESFJ, ISFP
Oh Shit! C.S. Joseph. My brother compete like no other! LOL
My mum is Esfj and I am an Isfp. We always have problems communicating with each other. She considers me as stubborn and weird and I am sometimes irritated by how controlling and rigid she is. My mum’s fe makes her offer way too much that I could possibly accept and sometimes offer what she thinks I need but I don’t. fi dominant types hate being controlled, I actually question how this ideal compatibility would work out in real life. Is it because we are both immature for our own type?
Parenting compatibility is much different than social compatibility. Familiarity breeds contempt. I hope that answers your question.
Z SIQI i think because it’s family relationship i know close friend esfj and if people know me will they know I don’t talk to anyone I’m like weirdo emo boy but when esfj comes i talk to them without feeling bored because they understand it’s like they don’t force me to do anythin I don’t feel controlled when I’m around them and they are so nice that i can die for them they notice small details like my birthday and when i want something that i know I can’t have it I’ll forget about it but then esfj is like “ is this what you want ? “ and I’m like whaaattt xD
Another great video. As an Isfp, I have attracted ESFJ women folk into my life like flies on.....anyway, as I look back, I would say some 75% of my friendships have been esfj. I work remotely from the plant I'm employed at, and of 16 CSR there....i ended up friends and great colleagues with the esfj female, even though most of our communication is via phone or email. im not even sure how it happened. The rest of my 25 person dept, and the rest of her 16 person dept, seethe when we are used as *the* example of how to work together as a powerhouse. lol. She handmakes me a scarf every Christmas, sends me cards, and presents me with other token gifts each time I'm on site (few times a year) and arranges her schedule to host me for dinner etc at those same times. Nailed it!!
Hi, CS Joseph
This is a bit confusing for me maybe because I am not a native English user. Just when you are talking about compatibility, you mentioned that its about the level if two personality fit each other. However, I, as a ESFJ, find ISFPs boring and do not want to become friends with them even at the beginning of a friendship. So, yes, we would have high compatibility but the friendship would not even start or happen. (in my case, only two cases). How do we explain that??
JuiYun Hsu human nurture is how we would explain it
Can a parent-kid relationship work between an esfj and an intp ?
Not really
It kinda works in so far as setting example for eachother's subconscious, allowing for mimickry and with it a growing confidence in the use of that side. However it can be super strained (I'm currently barely on speaking terms with my ESFJ old man as I had enough of his ignorant, unfair and hyprocritical judgements of me). Given that you can't just trade your kid in for a more compatible one (even though the world would likely be a LOT better if we had a system setup for that, without super-negative stigma against it), to be the best parent you can, study the crap out of the kid's type and judge them based on that, rather than against YOUR expectations of them, which're based on your type. If you're in a relationship that has great "social compatability", then defer to them more than you'd ideally like as they should have much better compatability with your kid. Unfortunately for me, my mum was an alcoholic, with severe drinking issues throughout my life (until she died from excessive alcohol), so she was essentially absent and unable to fulfill that role for me. Bear in mind, whilst you'll be pretty damn similar in many ways, you're also very different, including in the ways you're similar so whilst it'll be hard to allow them to be themselves (especially when around others and they're embarassing you), you're gonna have to learn to accept those differences and adjust yourself as the mature adult, rather than force them to adjust to you, thus completely screwing up their childhood. You chose to have a child, it's your responsibility to make allowances, not theirs.
“Te parent may have super high requirements and may be like ‘you’re not as thoughtful as I would want’”
Lol earlier in this very video you said ESFJ was literally the most thoughtful type. Why would a less thoughtful type be inclined to think the most thoughtful type was not thoughtful enough?
I have a question that may piggyback on a previous video. Aside from the order of the cognitive functions and the parent function in relation to the child function, is there a 'key' reason why the ESFJ is compatible to the INTJ versus the INTP? If so, is that reason related to the Te (Parent function of the INTJ) and the Ti (inferior function of the ESFJ) and the fact that Ti function is the hero function in the INTP? The reason why I am asking is due to the fact that you had stated that you had an INTP friend that left an abusive relationship and I have seen this play out. In laymen terms, it seems that if INTPs become overcritical in the use of their Ti function (but passive or not communicative in terms of what is desired), it would cause serious conflict with an ESFJ that is not secure with his/her thought process. Also, what are your thoughts on birth order? Do you think birth order (through nurture) may have an effect on the rate of development - particularly for the inferior and child functions? If so, that seems it would add a new dimension in terms of compatibility. Thanks in advance.
Is there a key reason why the ESFJ is compatible with the INTJ vs. the INTP?
-Imagine two receivers having sex with no giver present. The Se critic of the ESFJ would be giving Si child so much shit for "underperforming" because the ESFJ perceives it that way even if the INTP is an excellent lover. This is just one example.
Te vs. Ti?
-Yes it relates to the Te funtion as you described.
Birth order?
That is very interesting, we should discuss this at length, like on a Q and A session.
28:55 ESFJ, ISFJ
What are the numbers behind the bronze pair being the most common match? I want to find more info and read more about it please
You see interactions between types differently than socionics in terms of how functions react to each other. Could you give an explanation (or link to a video) on why your perspective is right? For instance, why do hero Fe and Fi complement each other, instead of Fe tiring out Fi like what others say? Loving your content by the way.
EthT hey there, thank you for your question. Please watch the playlist on cognitive synchronicity as that should help you answer this question.
I'm an Fe user and I don't really get along with Fi users in general so I still prefer seeing it as a clash. I can't bear Fi as a dominant function in particular - it's far too judgemental and narrow-minded. I don't find that I need Fi users to keep me moral either - they might have their own morals but it doesn't mean I'm going to copy theirs as I have my own ideas about life.
Allie B they probably have too much or too little for your Fe function depending on where your Fe rests
I'm an INFJ with well-developed Ti and in the dominant position Fi really irritates me although it might be just a personal preference. I like *NTJs though so it doesn't seem to bother me if it's lower down.
Allie B fair enough
Can you provide any tangible example, historic or public, of an ESFJ+INTJ couple working out in the long-term? Following this pattern, a good match for ENTP is ISFP? And for the INTP, ESFP? If you have a video explaining those dynamics, I'd appreciate a link to it.
InHerHonor these lectures are not out yet. Also I am assuming you are asking from the point of view of a face to face (sexual ) relationships?
I'm asking from the perspective of a complete relationship, and sex, although an important part of a relationship, is only one aspect of a functional romantic relationship.
InHerHonor I cannot provide any examples of that Romantic relationship outside of what I have encountered and observed myself. The most recent one was at my last job in Sacramento. An INTJ technician married an ESFJ cook at the hospital I worked at.
I was looking for the ESFJ female and me as a ENFG, in our early 60s...It looks pretty neutral on the list. Maybe we will both try to out please the other.
Little annoyed that you told me to go watch another video about brain waves or something without bothering to link it. You didn't bother to mention the title, only the subject.
I’m an INFJ female and Just started dating a ESFJ male. Do you have any videos on this combination, or any input?
have you verified types without using a test?
C.S. Joseph we both took the test. I paid for mine and his was free
good chance the results are incorrect, please use the type grid
C.S. Joseph we used Myers Briggs. Will you tell me how?
Luisa, you need to check out CS Joseph's video on how to type, and also watch his video "Who Are the ESFJs?" After watching, you will be pretty certain whether or not your boyfriend is an ESFJ. Then watch his video on ESFJ Virtue and Vice - it has some truly great advice, though the delivery is pretty harsh (don't let that turn you off to what he's saying though, just understand the content). Also, watch this video in its entirety, because the INFJ-ESFJ match has some things in common with the INTJ-ESFJ match which he discusses in this video. Both INFJs and INTJs have Ni as the dominant function and Se as the inferior function, and these are both functions that the ESFJ, as an Ne and Si user, is seeking. In this respect, the INTJ-ESFJ and INFJ-ESFJ relationships are similar and the advice he gives to INTJs in this video will still be relevant to you. The difference is that INTJs also have the Te and Fi functions, which ESFJs, as Ti and Fe users, are seeking. Unfortunately, INFJs don't have these in their ego, they have Ti and Fe which the ESFJ already has. So theoretically, the INTJ-ESFJ match is better than the INFJ-ESFJ match, however, I believe the INFJ-ESFJ match can still work well IF you know what you're doing. CS Joseph has the highest quality MBTI related videos on RUclips. His videos will help you a lot.
Question: What's the best way to develop personal growth? Is it through our auxiliary function or inferior function?
Shelby Nicholson the gateway functions, as stated in the cognitive transitions lecture
29:20 ESFJ ESFJ
Hilarious. I'm an ESFJ. I literally sometimes can't deal with myself and if there were 2 me's in the same room, I would die.
I've seen several of your videos and still not sure if I'm an INTP or an INTJ but, it seems after watching your video of how the INTP's compare to INTJ's, I think I'm an INTP. Of course I take a couple of different tests several times a day and usually comes out as an INTP. Then I want to analyze every question to be sure. One test I came out as an INTJ which is why I'm confused. Even your grid for typing anyone I still think I may be an INTP. My wife on her MBTI test comes out as being an ENTJ but, I just always assumed that the test was wrong and she is really an ENFJ because she is emotional. Can gender affect a persons MBTI? However, we usually get along quite well besides when she, you know, gets very emotional at times. Sometimes her emotions make no logical sense at all! And she always wants to do something where as I just would rather stay home most of the time. I go out just to appease her and I go out because I know she needs this. Other than that we get along quite well. My problem is I'm just trying to figure all this out and not sure how!?!?!? Anyway, I tell her all the time that if she would just agree with me all the time then we will get along just fine. But, she just looks at me with a funny look when I say that... Well, the last part is a little dry sense of humor on my part but it still gives me a little laugh when I say it...and sometimes she does too. You should see the look on peoples faces when I say that to my wife in front of them. MOST get that I'm just teasing. There's is always that one person though...
James T ENTJ women are more feelers than ENFJ women bro, it’s because the ENTJ is an Fi user and the ENFJ is the Ti user. Do not be fooled.
C.S. Joseph Very interesting! Thank you for your response.
Time to be a star fish and take all the nutrients from the Pokemon trainer 😁
I prefer Gengar... every time.
C.S. Joseph so clever is spooky! I take my Skateboard out of my Pokeball and she tells me she feels like this ruclips.net/video/Ak6ynwcCv1Q/видео.html 😁
Need help, Are ENFJ and ESFJ a good match for marriage and why? I'm enfj and my bf is esfj
From a high level overview it's good chemistry, bad emotional compatibility. A big hurdle is Neither cares what the other thinks and that's the thing that hurts each of you the most
Still going to do series on comrades, shoulder to shoulder? 😋
ruclips.net/video/OcV0HskbAgA/видео.html
@@CSJoseph thanks buddoe
I'm infp about to marry esfj how does that work out
you sure they arent an ENFJ?
She's an esfj
did you two get married ?
it doesn’t work
I’ve noticed a pattern among the MBTI types, although they may not always be true... it is just so interesting, because I realized many types’ parents are the opposite of them or have a duality relationship with them. For example, I’m an INFJ, my mother is an ESTP, and another INFJ I know has an ESTP father. My friend is an ISFP, her mother’s an ENTJ. I know many INTPs whose mothers are ESFJs, and as you have mentioned, you are an ENTP whose mother is an ISFJ. Does this have anything to do with type, or how they were brought up as children? I don’t know, just wondering...
Or is it just a coincidence?
We don't know if its a coincidence or not. But we are working on a system that should tell us the answer in due time. These algorithms will be used to help determine that in the near future. Hopefully it doesn't turn into mental eugenics. My INFJ mentor had an ESTP father.
My functions are inherited. I'm an INTP and so is my father. I come from a long line of thinkers. My grandfather was an engineer for NASA, his brother was an aircraft pilot in the Air Force, and my father teaches solar tech to people. When I go to family reunions on that side, we all have lively conversations about science and technology. I can also tell that Fe is well developed next to Ti in our family because everyone is really kind and caring towards each other. But we're also mostly introverts, so it's hard to get us to come outside lol.
Tyarra Ybarrola sadly, there is no evidence that type is dictated by genetics
C.S. Joseph When I said inherited, I meant passed down in the family. Maybe not genetically, but it seems that parents teach their children to value certain functions over others. Like how culture and belief systems are inherited.
15:02 ESFJ, ESFP
THis type is soooooo controlling!
So controlling is Te.
CS Joseph makes INTP's sit at the back of the bus.
Don't worry, Rosa Parks is coming.
Next to the ENTP
when are you doing sexual/romantic compatibility lectures....
already have ,see season 14 on Patreon gold patreon.com/csjoseph
28:05 entp
Entj esfj
I was thinking. Your videos are interesting but I think flawed because you rely to much on logic. I’m specifically referring to your comparability videos.
It just doesn’t make sense that all types are compatible in the same way following some algorithm.
Surely there are some who have great compatibility with more types that others.
This over reliance on your Ti to try and simplify things that cannot be simplified logically is flawed I believe.
okay, why are you judging me on just social compatibility? What about face to face algorithm? What about shoulder to shoulder? Will you be patient enough to allow me the time to release lectures about each component of compatibility as well as camaraderie? Before you make your judgment?
C.S. Joseph 😊 it’s not a judgement. I appreciate your videos; many of us do. I am merely questioning your assumptions or basis. If these are off, it’s possible that some reflection is required.
I would posit that they are off but I appreciate your comment regardless. I will do my best to provide additional clarity as my social compatibility playlist is just one piece of the puzzle.
im ESFJ in a relationship to an INTP woman ' -' . . . . hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
One of you guys might be mistyped