Hello viewers and subscribers. Thank you so much for all your support. As an update to this video, Theresa is back home with me now, as of July 2023, and no longer resides at the memory care facility. Here is a link to the video in-which I discuss it >> ruclips.net/video/bbkFlUDLJ5s/видео.htmlsi=f8RWuO79sObVIm7e
As a former RN having worked many years of my career with people diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer’s, I can tell you that most of the time removing them from their facility to go back home for a bit unfortunately did trigger such episodes as you are describing. It is such a sad situation but I believe you are doing whatever you can to find the right balance for her. I have seen so many family members who did not care about the distress a visit outside the facility may cause to their loved ones; they would continually ignore the staff’s advice and recommendations for the sake of having Aunt Sally in the family reunion photo at Susie’s house. Your wife is very blessed that you always have her best interests at heart. A lot of time, it is trial and error and things change at different paces so don’t ever feel anything is your fault because the disease process is very unpredictable and frustrating. Praying 🙏🏼 for wisdom and comfort and peace for you both. Thank you for the updates.
What a wonderful reply. Yes it is a a moving target. Sometimes you get it right and sometimes no matter what you do it is “wrong”. When my mom would say something unkind I always thought to myself it’s the disease talking. I used to imagine that my moms brain was melting as a way to cope with her changing personality. Sounds kind of strange, but that graphic image I had in my head helped me focus on the fact that she was in no way responsible for her words or actions.
I’ve also worked many years with memory care residents and your advice is spot on. It’s very difficult for family members to absorb the changes in their loved one and often find it hard to accept.
Trey I am glad you took the time to work through these situations before posting. I feel that your followers will want you to take your time. Your situation is fluid and you do not need to feel an obligation to follow a schedule to post. We are here for you.
I agree with parents. My heart breaks for you both. It is part of the journey. But it is your personal journey and it takes time to process. Continuing to pray.
Trey, don't let the natural progression of this terrible disease get you down. You are doing way, way more than most people. Please be kind to yourself. It is what Theresa would want for you. Happy Father's day. Enjoy your family . Bless you.
She will become combative as the disease progresses, also “sundowners “ is a real thing too. I’ve been through it all with my mom who had since passed away. I attended many support groups during her sickness and it helped tremendously with understanding how to deal with various situations. Wish you the best in this terrible journey with Theresa. Praying for you both. 🙏❤️
Thanks for sharing. I lost my mom to AD as well. My mom did not become combative or have sundowners. She did however get paranoid and would get angry and say I sold her home out from under her. She also got very afraid and that men would take advantage of her. She knew till the end that she had AD And almost always knew me. She was such a classy lady but she did start calling people stupid and told people to shut up. She never ever talked like that before. So sad. 😊❤ take care
Continuing to pray for you all. Alzheimer’s is such a nasty, nasty disease. I’m a retired RN and I saw so much of this firsthand. All my love is with you.
My mom was in a facility. When we moved her to the quieter place it was bad. They were all asleep all the time and never got her out of bed. She had a very quick decline. I wish you all the best but be careful.🙏😊
Trey, I'm so sorry you and Theresa are enduring the ugly facts of Alzheimer's and dementias. Alzheimer's is such a cruel disease. Having worked as a nurse of memory care for 37 years I saw the sad facts of this disease. All of the behaviors and altercations I witnessed I knew were the disease and NOT the person. Your sweet wife can't help any of this. She is still the sweet person she always has been but she is locked inside this disease process. It is a process that goes many directions with highs and lows. Please , Please show yourself love and lots of grace. You are doing all the right things. This video tugged at my heartstrings. I'm sure we all can see and feel your pain. I continue to pray for you both. God bless you both with his peace, patience and unending love.
This is a terrible journey, and we only know there’s one end to it. My mother had dementia, and it was heartbreaking to put her into assisted-living. I did find that bringing her home for a visit just made her worse but it was OK to take her out for a ride and get her a strawberry sundae or a similar event but she was no longer able to go to a restaurant. When she could no longer do that, I brought the strawberry sundaes to her and did what I could. I will never feel I did enough. This is the most hideous thing, no matter what causes it.. my mom passed in 2019 but I miss her every single day.
Thank you for sharing and I am sorry for your loss. Restaurant visits are becoming more difficult as she becomes agitated with the surroundings, needs help her cutting up her food and using correct utensils. Also, I often have to take her to the bathroom. Just trips for Ice Cream may be the way to go soon. Thanks for your comment and support.
I can hear the sadness in your voice as you give such an openly honest account of what this utterly cruel disease can do. I truly hope things continue to improve for you both. Continued love and prayers coming your way ❤
My heart breaks for Theresa, yourself and your family. How wonderful that she has a loving family. Thank you for sharing with everyone....as many people have never witnessed Alzheimer behaviors. Happy fathers day. Bless you all.
My Uncle Dan passed after years with Alzheimer’s. My mother visited him often, and several ppl at the facility were sometimes violent. Because it’s your wife, I’m sure it’s much more emotional and upsetting. Theresa must have been really distressed in all of the situations you mentioned, and that was the only way she could respond. As a loving and peaceful woman, I’m sure the staff will find the perfect spot where she will have less stress. She’s active with gardening, eating in the dining room and eagerly awaits your visits… all good things. Happy Father’s Day.
Treyyyy 😪😪😪. I understand. Those of us who’ve been there - we get it. The peaks and (awful) valleys of this disease are just heartbreaking… and almost indescribable. I’m so very, very sorry for this difficult span that you and Theresa are going through💔🙏🏼. It’s so horrible to watch your loved one doing and saying things that you know are NOT REALLY THEM AT ALL 😩. You are doing your very BEST for her, and that’s all you really can do. I’m so sorry, as is everyone else on here, for your heartaches. More prayers will be going up for you ( and your strength & any calm that you can grab ) and your beautiful Theresa. Try to enjoy your Father’s Day & your get together as much as you possibly can. I know it won’t be easy for you, but I’m glad you’re doing it and I’ll be praying for you. Lots of us will ❤️🙏🏼
Thanks for the update on the lovely Theresa .Take care of yourself ... there will be a place reserved for you in heaven ... you are a one in a million guy ... God bless you and accompany you on this trying journey .. continuing to keep you and Theresa in my prayers ... sorry for the loss of your dear father ...may he be looking down on you and giving you strength
Thank you for your video. You are not alone. My husband and I are on the third parent with dementia. My mother in law was in Memory care and altercations happened. The care givers at Memory care need special recognition.
Happy Father's Day!. You are doing an amazing job. This disease is so cruel. My husband is in year 14 of FTD/Alzheimer's and is currently in a geriatric/psychiatric hospital for trying to jump off our third story balcony so he could "go to work". It is a constant challenge. Go easy on yourself.
I was just jarred into reality hearing about your husband’s attempt to jump off your balcony, Bobbi. I have dealt with my Mom’s progression with this cruel disease but never realized the extent it can go to. I’ve always heard that Alzheimers is a family disease and your experience is so evident of that. My prayers are with you and your family. 🙏🏻
Sadly, anger issues can crop up. I saw it with my sweet Mother. I'm sending prayers and hope that Therese remains at her baseline. Despite the difficulties you press on with LOVE and RESPECT. Thank you for the candid update. She's fortunate to have you at her side 💜💜
Bless you and Theresa. WE had a family reunion last weekend and my dad didn't recognize some of his grandkids. So sad and praying for those with this awful disease.
Thank you for such a candid and heartfelt sharing! To imagine Theresa in any kind of "brawl" sounds simply ludicrous, but such is the nature of this disease. I'm grateful she appears to be back at baseline and yes, I could certainly see how her visit to home and the cats have perhaps stirred up feelings for her. But sometimes one doesn't know unless they try. Thank you for the fine example of a husband that you are! Blessings and peace to both you and Theresa. And Happy Father's Day, Trey!
Trey, thank you for the update on Theresa. You are such a wonderful husband and the support and care your give your wife is phenomenal. I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow with your family. Happy Father's Day!
I am so sorry you both are going through this. My father recently passed away after battling this terrible disease. My father would get a bit combative with other residents. Unfortunately the best way to keep him calmer was drugs. Everyone is entitled to stay safe in memory care. Terrible terrible disease.
Happy Father's day to you sir. Sadly this is some of the worse parts of the disease. One lady in the center I worked at frequently looked for her dog. She would become very upset. Staff got her a memory dog very similar to the one she had. She ask us why she gave her a stuffed animal because she didn't play with toys. Many times we would tell her that the dog was with a family member and be back tomorrow. This would usually start about 3pm. The behavior sadly it happens. The emotions can change in an instant. It is the disease and it is not fair.Many evenings around 5pm a group of the ladies would decide that it was time to go home. I would run get the dixie cups of ice cream. Ladies you can't leave yet we are going to have an ice cream party. They would come back and sit and eat the ice cream in a common area. Just little things to distract from the immediate upset. So very sorry that you are having to go through this. Please take care of yourself.
Thank you for sharing these experiences and how you redirected the residents. I appreciate your support and also want to thank you for the care you have provided to those impacted by this disease.
Trey, my mom has vascular dementia and moved into an assisted living facility in 2021. I relate to many of your experiences. I did find that, in addition to getting the environmental factors right as you are doing, getting her medication right was also key. For my mom, Memantine and Buspar have been key to help manage the anxiety that can lead to confusion and frustration. Best wishes in working out this next phase!!
Hi Kim - thank you for your comment and support and for sharing about your mom. The Neurologist may be adjusting her meds if the environmental factors to not help to improve things. Theresa is currently taking Memantine, Donepezil, Seroquel, Zoloft, & Nortriptyline.
Kim, thank you for mentioning getting some medication. In reading all the comments so few people mentioned this. It has helped my neighbor, who is in memory care, become much less agitated. And it didn't make her sleep all the time. It was a very small dosage. So maybe that it could be a good option.
I was so worried this would happen! I’m so sorry for both of you. The thought of not being able to take your spouse home has to be a pain worse than death. You are incredibly strong. Please hang in there! You are an amazing husband!
Thanks for your candidness, Trey. You are providing a great service to those of us with little education on Alzheimers. Take care and Happy Father's Day!
Michele, as a nurse myself I take care of my mom at home. But is it a bad Idea to take them home because of the mass confusion and agitation that it will bring when they return back to the facility?
Thank you for the update. I am sure this is an extremely painful time for you. Fortunately there will come a time when Theresa is calmer, as the disease progresses. I think it's impossible to know when that will happen, as this stage can go on for a short or long time. Medications can help a lot. And I do think she should reside in an environment where there is close supervision and she and others are protected more. I agree with limiting new or outside stimuli as much as possible. I hope you are getting some therapy for yourself, from a professional who understands dementia well. As your understanding of what to expect increases, I think you will start to feel a lot better.
My both of my Grandmothers had this disease, my paternal grandmother was violent which lead to confinement in memory care. Gpa was 92 and i would take him to see her or take them together to get a milk shake. Gpa never gave up on her. We would get calls from the staff when she would attack the care givers or other residents. Thank you for sharing this dark side. Bless you.
This is so sad. My husband is in middle stage mixed dementia and is still at home. We have been at this for 13 years and it is a long,hard,heartbreaking road for sure. Hang in there. There is a lot of pain and grieving that comes with this roller coaster disease.
Thank you so much for sharing yours and Teresa’s life with us. This is such a difficult time for you both. I have heard that this disease has different stages. And that patients can go through times of agitation and then go into a less agitated phase and then can actually be happy again, later on. I’m sure you’ve heard it all. My grandmother had Alzheimers. She could not be taken out of her surroundings because she got so anxious. So maybe this is what you have to deal with. My love and prayers for you and your family.
I really admire your honesty and desire to share your story, even though it is heart wrenching for you. Just know that the stories you’re telling are a huge support to those who are going through it alongside you with their family members. There is no quantifying the value in making people feel supported and not alone in their struggles. Your videos are giving many so much strength.❤
I was so hoping/praying that Theresa wouldn’t get the really angry part of Alzheimer’s, both my late grandmothers and also my late father had Alzheimer’s and were not their sweet selves after a while and got very mouthy, angry and violent. My father reverted back to his Korean War days and started thinking the female nurses were spies or something and he started hitting them with his fists. 😢 God Bless you Trey and I sure wish I had answers for you, I don’t, but I’ll keep praying.
Thank you for putting out your videos. About three years ago my husband was diagnosed with early-onset dementia ,@ age 59.He seemed fairly stable for the last couple of years but now he is progressively getting. worse. In our state I cannot get help through Medicaid until he is 65 for Memory Care. He is almost 64 years old. How did your wife qualify at a younger age? Blessings from Iowa.
Hello and thank you for your question. In Florida, a person under 65 can qualify for Medicaid if they have a disability and meet certain income and asset limits. On Theresa's behalf, I applied for Social Security Disability back in 2019 when she stopped working. So she has been classified as disabled since then and this allowed her to meet eligibly for Medicaid. I am working with an Elder Law Attorney through this Medicaid process. If you are not already doing so, it may be helpful to meet with one. Your financial assets will need to be structured in a way to protect you and allow for your husband to meet income and asset requirements. The State of FL does not want to impoverish the spouse, I imagine the State of Iowa would be the same. I'm sorry to learn of your husbands decline and hope that you will be able to get some help a little sooner. Much love and support to you and your husband on this journey.
Everything you tell sounds so familiar with my mom. Somehow that stage of the illness is the hardest. Ironically, when it gets worse, it’s somehow easier. Sending you positive vibes and strength, I know it’s difficult, but you’re doing your best and that’s good enough. Take care ❤
I have only watched this disease from the vantage point of one who loves the dear ones suffering from the disease and those that are the precious caregivers. It is so very challenging and heartbreaking. It is a trial that brings out the very best and at times the very worst in our sweetest friends and family. My heart and prayers, admiration and gratitude go out to you for your loyalty, care, and selfless love. I’m learning along with you and this community how to show support, love, patience, and grace in this difficult season of life. 💝💚
I worked for a long time with dementia sufferers here in uk and everything you just recounted I’ve had happen it’s so hard to watch but you know it’s not her it’s this vile illness wishing you well you’re doing a great job
Thank you for being so open and transparent, we are going thru this with my dad. We had to move in with him and I’m trying to research any information. Prayers!
God Bless her. My Dad, during delusions, would get a bit "ugly" towards my Mom. We were always worried he'd hurt her. He never raised a hand to her in 67 years, so that was really scary. He was 6'3" and she's 5'1" and tiny. We couldn't be mad at him because it wasn't HIM- it's that damn disease. Keep sharing what you're sharing. People need to be prepared. I wasn't. I honestly feel like I have undiagnosed PTSD from that experience. 😢
I've often had the feelings of PTSD even after my mom passed. It was such a HUGE thing to go through. A lot of people just don't understand the scope of this trauma. Thanks for sharing Julie.
Just dropping by to let you both know you've been on my mind lately. I read this in my motivational journal this morning and wanted to share it . " Don't tell God how big the storm is. Tell the storm how BIG your God is ". Lots of prayers and support from South Carolina.
Trey - praying for you and Teresa that all continues to move back to baseline. I’m sure it’s very hard for you to know you will not be able to have her visit at home if this exacerbates distress and poor behavior. We wish you a very happy Father’s Day with your son and your Mom.
Thank you, Trey. I am learning so much from you and the other commenters. I am truly sorry for what you are going through with your precious Theresa. I will continue to keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. You are doing such a wonderful job-please hang in there and know what you are doing matters! I hope you have a nice Father’s Day 🪴
Hello Trey!!! Hoping you’re doing well. Thank you for sharing your video about Theresa having altercations at her facility. I hope things change for her there and you can have wonderful visits there again with her. I want to wish you a very Happy Father’s Day and may God bless you to see many more to come!!! 🙌🏼💯♥️💪🏼👏🏼👊🏼. Take care and God bless you. ♥️💯
I am so sorry for this setback Trey. I loved the throwback pictures of the two of you-you were and still are a beautiful couple, and I see that the love between you is so strong. You’ll get thru this difficult time-I’m praying for you both❤️
Sorry to hear of these recent agitations. This disease is so unique in each individual and yet has the same patterns. When my Dad was alive and I was his care provider I journaled everyday. This journal allowed me to get out my anxieties & frustrations daily. I also had several index cards with positive quotes or affirmations on them. I taped one on my dresser mirror. The one in my bathroom (I would see this one before bed and first thing in the morning) said: Your Father loves you more today than he did yesterday. This disease changed Dad's ability to be his authentic self. Remember, your Dad needs you to know & understand he has no knowledge of his behavior and cannot change today's outcome. Love him through his dark days. I think of you and Theresa. I'm happy you had a Father's Day breakfast with some of your family. We did the same today. This disease is so cruel. My hope is that they can figure out Theresa's plan, so that she may have calm days filled with peace.
Hi Regenia - Yes, things have been better lately. The consistency of staying at memory care appears to be helping. Theresa is no longer asking about the cats and hasn't had any further altercations.. at least for the time being. Thanks for checking in.
You’re doing such an incredible job Trey! This is so hard and my heart is breaking for you and Theresa. I will continue to pray for you both as you continue this journey! Take care! 🙏❤️
Oh man, I totally understand what you are going through! I worked in memory care myself, and having a mom who had Alzheimer's, this is really hard stuff to watch a loved one go through! I wish you the very best and that a plan will help her be more like herself. Happy Father's Day to you!!
Trey, thank you for being completely open about Teresa's altercations. Your calm, reasonable approach is admirable. I commend you for not "taking sides" because it isn't fair when people judge..... I'm very impressed with the option of moving Teresa to a quieter wing, away from other patients that trigger, or get triggered perhaps easily. You're doing a great job. God bless.
Thank you for posting about the challenges Theresa and you face as her Alzheimer's progresses. It helps so much. I worry all the time about my husband as it runs in his family. Your videos and willingness to share your story are immensely helpful. Prayers for you both.
Keep up the great work that you are doing sharing your wifes hardship and the changes. We must not take life for granted --Through you, Theresa is sharing her story and she is touching each of us in ways that we love, but like you is also very sad. Thank you and happy Fathers day.
I'm so sorry! I hope she is feeling better soon. Hope perhaps there are some anxiety meds that could help calm her down a little (or adjustment of current meds) Altercations happen- thank you for sharing so everyone knows this-
I am so sorry to hear that you and Theresa have had some difficult times. Maybe a quieter wing would be better for her? I hope the situation gets better and you get some peace of mind.❤🙏
You are the kindest, most patient and loving husband. I am sorry that due to this terrible disease that you are both going through this pain and sadness.
Happy Father’s Day! It’s constant adjustments and that’s okay. Like you said, we know what she doesn’t like(don’t touch her plants, people wandering in her room which would bother me too, lol) the memory care can honor those things and help facilitate a more conducive environment. It’s doable. Just keep advocating for her and continue doing your best to make her life there the best it can be. My heart hurts for you because I see how much you love each other. One day at a time ❤
Thank you Jacqueline. People wandering in my room would bother me too -lol. I don't blame her for that one. I will continue tackling the obstacles as they come. I appreciate your comment and support.
You are quite a man, my mother in law had this horrible disease a sweet kindly woman who ended up with violent tendencies love to you both from all of our family here In Oxford
Good to see you on the latest video, Trey. And I have to say, I’m glad you shared the details about the altercations. I think talking about all the different things you are dealing with helps even more people-especially those who might have also experienced seeing their family members with dimentia have altercations with residents. I imagine now that they saw your video that they don’t feel so alone like they are the only ones experiencing this. Explaining what you’re doing to help combat further episodes is also so good-because others can try what you’re trying and kind of compare notes. Like you said, every situation is different, but your videos offer so much insight. I hope you have a wonderful father’s day with your family tomorrow!! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
@@tpippen75 i hope you are doing well. It is a gorgeous day here at the beach I hope it is the same there for you. I had steamed Maryland crabs Monday and raw oysters.
My mom is in a Board & Care with dementia. She would be ok for a period of time but had the “sundowner” syndrome & call me asking me to “get her out of there” & that she’d lost her ticket to get home, it was heartbreaking. She also was having trouble sleeping through the night. They ended up increasing her Seroquel dosage (I think 40mg), made her much less agitated & anxious. And she can still communicate. 🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing about you mom. Theresa is currently on 50mg of Seroquel twice daily. They may try something else with her if the environmental changes do not help. Much love and support to you and your family on this journey with mom.
@@tpippen75 of course! and thank you for sharing your experience. Also, I see others have posted about maybe not taking her out from the facility, I find that my mom just wants to get back "home" and it seems to just cause her stress. Maybe bring her in food from restaurants she really likes? Or maybe she's not that bad, anyway thoughts and prayers with you!
Hello viewers and subscribers. Thank you so much for all your support. As an update to this video, Theresa is back home with me now, as of July 2023, and no longer resides at the memory care facility. Here is a link to the video in-which I discuss it >> ruclips.net/video/bbkFlUDLJ5s/видео.htmlsi=f8RWuO79sObVIm7e
Bless you❤
As a former RN having worked many years of my career with people diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer’s, I can tell you that most of the time removing them from their facility to go back home for a bit unfortunately did trigger such episodes as you are describing. It is such a sad situation but I believe you are doing whatever you can to find the right balance for her. I have seen so many family members who did not care about the distress a visit outside the facility may cause to their loved ones; they would continually ignore the staff’s advice and recommendations for the sake of having Aunt Sally in the family reunion photo at Susie’s house. Your wife is very blessed that you always have her best interests at heart. A lot of time, it is trial and error and things change at different paces so don’t ever feel anything is your fault because the disease process is very unpredictable and frustrating. Praying 🙏🏼 for wisdom and comfort and peace for you both. Thank you for the updates.
Well said
Thank you so much Leslie for your words. I definitely want to do, whatever is going to be best for her. I appreciate your support and prayers.
Thank you Leslie for your time in caring for these special patients and families, and for sharing the wisdom gained through your experience. Blessings
What a wonderful reply. Yes it is a a moving target. Sometimes you get it right and sometimes no matter what you do it is “wrong”. When my mom would say something unkind I always thought to myself it’s the disease talking. I used to imagine that my moms brain was melting as a way to cope with her changing personality. Sounds kind of strange, but that graphic image I had in my head helped me focus on the fact that she was in no way responsible for her words or actions.
I’ve also worked many years with memory care residents and your advice is spot on. It’s very difficult for family members to absorb the changes in their loved one and often find it hard to accept.
Trey I am glad you took the time to work through these situations before posting. I feel that your followers will want you to take your time. Your situation is fluid and you do not need to feel an obligation to follow a schedule to post. We are here for you.
Well said - from a Brit watching in Spain.
Yes a very thoughtful comment that I totally agree with, in my prayers over here in New Zealand 🙏🕯️
I appreciate your comment and support - many thanks!
Love this!!
I agree with parents. My heart breaks for you both. It is part of the journey. But it is your personal journey and it takes time to process. Continuing to pray.
Trey, don't let the natural progression of this terrible disease get you down. You are doing way, way more than most people. Please be kind to yourself. It is what Theresa would want for you. Happy Father's day. Enjoy your family . Bless you.
Well put!
You said it so well.
She will become combative as the disease progresses, also “sundowners “ is a real thing too. I’ve been through it all with my mom who had since passed away. I attended many support groups during her sickness and it helped tremendously with understanding how to deal with various situations. Wish you the best in this terrible journey with Theresa. Praying for you both. 🙏❤️
Thanks for sharing. I lost my mom to AD as well. My mom did not become combative or have sundowners. She did however get paranoid and would get angry and say I sold her home out from under her. She also got very afraid and that men would take advantage of her. She knew till the end that she had AD And almost always knew me. She was such a classy lady but she did start calling people stupid and told people to shut up. She never ever talked like that before. So sad. 😊❤ take care
@@patriciaanzelc5386 "stupid" and "shut up" is classy these days
Thank you for sharing about your mom. I appreciate your prayers and support.
Thank you for sharing Patricia.
Praying for all of you. These adjustments are so hard. Please take care of yourself.
Continuing to pray for you all. Alzheimer’s is such a nasty, nasty disease. I’m a retired RN and I saw so much of this firsthand. All my love is with you.
Thank you Lisa for your prayers and support. Much love
Your devotion to your wife is so evident. Many prayers of strength coming your way.
My mom was in a facility. When we moved her to the quieter place it was bad. They were all asleep all the time and never got her out of bed. She had a very quick decline. I wish you all the best but be careful.🙏😊
Thank you for sharing Tracy.
Trey, I'm so sorry you and Theresa are enduring the ugly facts of Alzheimer's and dementias. Alzheimer's is such a cruel disease. Having worked as a nurse of memory care for 37 years I saw the sad facts of this disease. All of the behaviors and altercations I witnessed I knew were the disease and NOT the person. Your sweet wife can't help any of this. She is still the sweet person she always has been but she is locked inside this disease process. It is a process that goes many directions with highs and lows. Please , Please show yourself love and lots of grace. You are doing all the right things. This video tugged at my heartstrings. I'm sure we all can see and feel your pain. I continue to pray for you both. God bless you both with his peace, patience and unending love.
Thank you Tiaza - you always have the right words. I appreciate your support and prayers.
My mother,father in law had Alzheimer's. It's a very horrible disease,you always wonder if your doing the right thing. Our prayers are with y'all 🙏
This is a terrible journey, and we only know there’s one end to it. My mother had dementia, and it was heartbreaking to put her into assisted-living. I did find that bringing her home for a visit just made her worse but it was OK to take her out for a ride and get her a strawberry sundae or a similar event but she was no longer able to go to a restaurant. When she could no longer do that, I brought the strawberry sundaes to her and did what I could. I will never feel I did enough. This is the most hideous thing, no matter what causes it.. my mom passed in 2019 but I miss her every single day.
Thank you for sharing and I am sorry for your loss. Restaurant visits are becoming more difficult as she becomes agitated with the surroundings, needs help her cutting up her food and using correct utensils. Also, I often have to take her to the bathroom. Just trips for Ice Cream may be the way to go soon. Thanks for your comment and support.
I can hear the sadness in your voice as you give such an openly honest account of what this utterly cruel disease can do. I truly hope things continue to improve for you both. Continued love and prayers coming your way ❤
My heart breaks for Theresa, yourself and your family. How wonderful that she has a loving family. Thank you for sharing with everyone....as many people have never witnessed Alzheimer behaviors. Happy fathers day. Bless you all.
Thank you Fiona for your prayers and support. God Bless
My Uncle Dan passed after years with Alzheimer’s. My mother visited him often, and several ppl at the facility were sometimes violent. Because it’s your wife, I’m sure it’s much more emotional and upsetting. Theresa must have been really distressed in all of the situations you mentioned, and that was the only way she could respond. As a loving and peaceful woman, I’m sure the staff will find the perfect spot where she will have less stress. She’s active with gardening, eating in the dining room and eagerly awaits your visits… all good things. Happy Father’s Day.
Thank you for sharing Julie. I appreciate your comment and support.
Treyyyy 😪😪😪. I understand. Those of us who’ve been there - we get it. The peaks and (awful) valleys of this disease are just heartbreaking… and almost indescribable. I’m so very, very sorry for this difficult span that you and Theresa are going through💔🙏🏼. It’s so horrible to watch your loved one doing and saying things that you know are NOT REALLY THEM AT ALL 😩. You are doing your very BEST for her, and that’s all you really can do. I’m so sorry, as is everyone else on here, for your heartaches. More prayers will be going up for you ( and your strength & any calm that you can grab ) and your beautiful Theresa. Try to enjoy your Father’s Day & your get together as much as you possibly can. I know it won’t be easy for you, but I’m glad you’re doing it and I’ll be praying for you. Lots of us will ❤️🙏🏼
Thank you Kathy - I really appreciate your words, prayers and support. God bless
Thanks for the update on the lovely Theresa .Take care of yourself ... there will be a place reserved for you in heaven ... you are a one in a million guy ... God bless you and accompany you on this trying journey .. continuing to keep you and Theresa in my prayers ... sorry for the loss of your dear father ...may he be looking down on you and giving you strength
God Bless you as well and thank you for your kind words and support.
Trey, you are doing the very best you can. This is so very hard. Take your time and know we are here for you as best we can.
Thank you for your video. You are not alone. My husband and I are on the third parent with dementia. My mother in law was in Memory care and altercations happened. The care givers at Memory care need special recognition.
Happy Father's Day!. You are doing an amazing job. This disease is so cruel. My husband is in year 14 of FTD/Alzheimer's and is currently in a geriatric/psychiatric hospital for trying to jump off our third story balcony so he could "go to work". It is a constant challenge. Go easy on yourself.
I was just jarred into reality hearing about your husband’s attempt to jump off your balcony, Bobbi. I have dealt with my Mom’s progression with this cruel disease but never realized the extent it can go to. I’ve always heard that Alzheimers is a family disease and your experience is so evident of that. My prayers are with you and your family. 🙏🏻
Ahh, God bless you, I hate this disease!
I’m so sorry 😢 I’m heart broken for both of you.
Sadly, anger issues can crop up. I saw it with my sweet Mother. I'm sending prayers and hope that Therese remains at her baseline. Despite the difficulties you press on with LOVE and RESPECT. Thank you for the candid update. She's fortunate to have you at her side 💜💜
Bless you and Theresa. WE had a family reunion last weekend and my dad didn't recognize some of his grandkids. So sad and praying for those with this awful disease.
Thank you for such a candid and heartfelt sharing! To imagine Theresa in any kind of "brawl" sounds simply ludicrous, but such is the nature of this disease. I'm grateful she appears to be back at baseline and yes, I could certainly see how her visit to home and the cats have perhaps stirred up feelings for her. But sometimes one doesn't know unless they try. Thank you for the fine example of a husband that you are! Blessings and peace to both you and Theresa. And Happy Father's Day, Trey!
Thank you Mary, I appreciate your words of support.
Trey, thank you for the update on Theresa. You are such a wonderful husband and the support and care your give your wife is phenomenal. I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow with your family. Happy Father's Day!
Thank you Lori. I appreciate your words and support.
Thank you for showing us the challenges of being a caregiver to someone with dementia. Keeping them clean, safe, and comfortable is huge work.
Trey, my heart breaks for the two of you. I wish you the strength to continue this journey.
I am so sorry you both are going through this. My father recently passed away after battling this terrible disease.
My father would get a bit combative with other residents.
Unfortunately the best way to keep him calmer was drugs. Everyone is entitled to stay safe in memory care. Terrible terrible disease.
Thank you for your support. I appreciate you sharing and I'm so sorry to learn of your father's passing.
Happy Father's day to you sir. Sadly this is some of the worse parts of the disease. One lady in the center I worked at frequently looked for her dog. She would become very upset. Staff got her a memory dog very similar to the one she had. She ask us why she gave her a stuffed animal because she didn't play with toys. Many times we would tell her that the dog was with a family member and be back tomorrow. This would usually start about 3pm. The behavior sadly it happens. The emotions can change in an instant. It is the disease and it is not fair.Many evenings around 5pm a group of the ladies would decide that it was time to go home. I would run get the dixie cups of ice cream. Ladies you can't leave yet we are going to have an ice cream party. They would come back and sit and eat the ice cream in a common area. Just little things to distract from the immediate upset. So very sorry that you are having to go through this. Please take care of yourself.
Thank you for sharing these experiences and how you redirected the residents. I appreciate your support and also want to thank you for the care you have provided to those impacted by this disease.
Blessings God give u strength must b so so hard on u all keep the Faith
Trey, my mom has vascular dementia and moved into an assisted living facility in 2021. I relate to many of your experiences. I did find that, in addition to getting the environmental factors right as you are doing, getting her medication right was also key. For my mom, Memantine and Buspar have been key to help manage the anxiety that can lead to confusion and frustration. Best wishes in working out this next phase!!
Hi Kim - thank you for your comment and support and for sharing about your mom. The Neurologist may be adjusting her meds if the environmental factors to not help to improve things. Theresa is currently taking Memantine, Donepezil, Seroquel, Zoloft, & Nortriptyline.
Kim, thank you for mentioning getting some medication. In reading all the comments so few people mentioned this. It has helped my neighbor, who is in memory care, become much less agitated. And it didn't make her sleep all the time. It was a very small dosage. So maybe that it could be a good option.
I was so worried this would happen! I’m so sorry for both of you. The thought of not being able to take your spouse home has to be a pain worse than death. You are incredibly strong. Please hang in there! You are an amazing husband!
Thank you for your kind words and support Rachel.
Thank you for sharing your heartache during your dear partner’s life changing event.
It's so hard. My dad went through the altercations phase for a short period. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your precious wife.
Thanks for your candidness, Trey. You are providing a great service to those of us with little education on Alzheimers. Take care and Happy Father's Day!
I work in Senior Living for the past 35 years and can say with professional advice that taking a memory care resident home is sadly never a good idea.
Michele, as a nurse myself I take care of my mom at home. But is it a bad Idea to take them home because of the mass confusion and agitation that it will bring when they return back to the facility?
Yes, please explain more, I'm interested.
Thank you for the update. I am sure this is an extremely painful time for you. Fortunately there will come a time when Theresa is calmer, as the disease progresses. I think it's impossible to know when that will happen, as this stage can go on for a short or long time. Medications can help a lot. And I do think she should reside in an environment where there is close supervision and she and others are protected more. I agree with limiting new or outside stimuli as much as possible. I hope you are getting some therapy for yourself, from a professional who understands dementia well. As your understanding of what to expect increases, I think you will start to feel a lot better.
I have learned to expect the unexpected but sometimes the unexpected still hurts and is hard to swallow. Thank you for your comment and support.
Thanks for sharing. May God comfort you and your sweet wife.
Sending you love Trey. Alzheimer's is such a hard disease for relatives to deal with.
My both of my Grandmothers had this disease, my paternal grandmother was violent which lead to confinement in memory care. Gpa was 92 and i would take him to see her or take them together to get a milk shake. Gpa never gave up on her. We would get calls from the staff when she would attack the care givers or other residents. Thank you for sharing this dark side. Bless you.
I appreciate your support and thank you for sharing as well.
This is so sad. My husband is in middle stage mixed dementia and is still at home. We have been at this for 13 years and it is a long,hard,heartbreaking road for sure. Hang in there. There is a lot of pain and grieving that comes with this roller coaster disease.
Thank you for sharing and I am so sorry for the struggles you are facing. Much love and support to you.
Thank you so much for sharing yours and Teresa’s life with us. This is such a difficult time for you both. I have heard that this disease has different stages. And that patients can go through times of agitation and then go into a less agitated phase and then can actually be happy again, later on. I’m sure you’ve heard it all. My grandmother had Alzheimers. She could not be taken out of her surroundings because she got so anxious. So maybe this is what you have to deal with. My love and prayers for you and your family.
Thank you Joann for your words, prayers and support. God Bless.
This scares me to death. Happy Father’s Day! Good luck and thanks for sharing.
I feel for her :(
But stability is key in situations like this, and that might include not bringing her home.
You are such a great husband
I really admire your honesty and desire to share your story, even though it is heart wrenching for you. Just know that the stories you’re telling are a huge support to those who are going through it alongside you with their family members. There is no quantifying the value in making people feel supported and not alone in their struggles. Your videos are giving many so much strength.❤
I appreciate you letting me know how these videos are helping others. Thank you so much for your uplifting words and support.
Sending best thoughts and prayers to you and your dear Theresa, she's blessed beyond measure to have your love and support.
You are such a caring husband and unfortunately this journey of Alzheimer’s is so hard…❤
That’s adorable your lil Brooklyn brawler. I’m sorry for your loss of your Dad. Hang in there. God bless you🙏 much love ❤️
Thank you Diane - Much love back to you and God Bless.
@@tpippen75 Happy Fathers Day
I was so hoping/praying that Theresa wouldn’t get the really angry part of Alzheimer’s, both my late grandmothers and also my late father had Alzheimer’s and were not their sweet selves after a while and got very mouthy, angry and violent. My father reverted back to his Korean War days and started thinking the female nurses were spies or something and he started hitting them with his fists. 😢 God Bless you Trey and I sure wish I had answers for you, I don’t, but I’ll keep praying.
God bless you as well Carol. Thank you for sharing and I appreciate your prayers and support.
Prayers for you, and Teresa ❤,
Thank you for putting out your videos. About three years ago my husband was diagnosed with early-onset dementia ,@ age 59.He seemed fairly stable for the last couple of years but now he is progressively getting. worse. In our state I cannot get help through Medicaid until he is 65 for Memory Care. He is almost 64 years old. How did your wife qualify at a younger age? Blessings from Iowa.
Hello and thank you for your question. In Florida, a person under 65 can qualify for Medicaid if they have a disability and meet certain income and asset limits. On Theresa's behalf, I applied for Social Security Disability back in 2019 when she stopped working. So she has been classified as disabled since then and this allowed her to meet eligibly for Medicaid. I am working with an Elder Law Attorney through this Medicaid process. If you are not already doing so, it may be helpful to meet with one. Your financial assets will need to be structured in a way to protect you and allow for your husband to meet income and asset requirements. The State of FL does not want to impoverish the spouse, I imagine the State of Iowa would be the same. I'm sorry to learn of your husbands decline and hope that you will be able to get some help a little sooner. Much love and support to you and your husband on this journey.
Trey You have such a beautiful and caring soul. Theresa is so lucky to have you. Please take care of yourself❤
You seem to be coping well. It must be so hard. Keep your chin up.
Everything you tell sounds so familiar with my mom. Somehow that stage of the illness is the hardest. Ironically, when it gets worse, it’s somehow easier. Sending you positive vibes and strength, I know it’s difficult, but you’re doing your best and that’s good enough. Take care ❤
I have only watched this disease from the vantage point of one who loves the dear ones suffering from the disease and those that are the
precious caregivers. It is so very challenging and heartbreaking. It is a trial that brings out the very best and at times the very worst in our sweetest friends and family. My heart and prayers, admiration and gratitude go out to you for your loyalty, care, and selfless love. I’m learning along with you and this community how to show support, love, patience, and grace in this difficult season of life.
💝💚
I worked for a long time with dementia sufferers here in uk and everything you just recounted I’ve had happen it’s so hard to watch but you know it’s not her it’s this vile illness wishing you well you’re doing a great job
I appreciate your sentiments and support Karen. Also, thank you for the care you provided to those impacted by this disease.
Thank you for being so open and transparent, we are going thru this with my dad. We had to move in with him and I’m trying to research any information. Prayers!
Thank you for your prayers and support- you have mine has well. Much love and support on the journey with dad.
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. May God be your strength
Thank you. God bless you! 🙏🙏🙏
God Bless her. My Dad, during delusions, would get a bit "ugly" towards my Mom. We were always worried he'd hurt her. He never raised a hand to her in 67 years, so that was really scary. He was 6'3" and she's 5'1" and tiny. We couldn't be mad at him because it wasn't HIM- it's that damn disease.
Keep sharing what you're sharing. People need to be prepared. I wasn't. I honestly feel like I have undiagnosed PTSD from that experience. 😢
Thank you Julie for sharing about your Dad. I feel like I have PTSD as well sometimes. Thank you for your support and God bless you as well.
I've often had the feelings of PTSD even after my mom passed. It was such a HUGE thing to go through. A lot of people just don't understand the scope of this trauma. Thanks for sharing Julie.
Dear Trey,
I am so sorry about the journey that you and Theresa are on. I will keep both of you in my prayers. Annabel
Just dropping by to let you both know you've been on my mind lately. I read this in my motivational journal this morning and wanted to share it . " Don't tell God how big the storm is. Tell the storm how BIG your God is ". Lots of prayers and support from South Carolina.
I love it! Thanks Tiaza
I'm so sorry Trey. God bless.
Can feel the pain in your voice
Best wishes to both of you
Trey - praying for you and Teresa that all continues to move back to baseline. I’m sure it’s very hard for you to know you will not be able to have her visit at home if this exacerbates distress and poor behavior. We wish you a very happy Father’s Day with your son and your Mom.
I’m so sorry with everything you and Theresa are going through.❤️🙏
Such helpful, honest reflections, Trey, thank you for this in all its reality. Blessing on Fathers Day
Love to you and Teresa.
Thank you, Trey. I am learning so much from you and the other commenters. I am truly sorry for what you are going through with your precious Theresa. I will continue to keep you both in my thoughts and prayers. You are doing such a wonderful job-please hang in there and know what you are doing matters! I hope you have a nice Father’s Day 🪴
Thank you Julie for your support and prayers.
Hello Trey!!! Hoping you’re doing well. Thank you for sharing your video about Theresa having altercations at her facility. I hope things change for her there and you can have wonderful visits there again with her. I want to wish you a very Happy Father’s Day and may God bless you to see many more to come!!! 🙌🏼💯♥️💪🏼👏🏼👊🏼. Take care and God bless you. ♥️💯
Thank you and God bless you as well Theresa.
I am so sorry for this setback Trey. I loved the throwback pictures of the two of you-you were and still are a beautiful couple, and I see that the love between you is so strong. You’ll get thru this difficult time-I’m praying for you both❤️
Thank you Melinda. Looking at those photo's really helped me this week. I appreciate the prayers and support.
Thank you for your honesty Trey. The more we know, the better we understand this cruel condition. Thoughts and prayers for you both.
Thank you for your prayers and support Mary.
Sorry to hear of these recent agitations. This disease is so unique in each individual and yet has the same patterns. When my Dad was alive and I was his care provider I journaled everyday. This journal allowed me to get out my anxieties & frustrations daily. I also had several index cards with positive quotes or affirmations on them. I taped one on my dresser mirror. The one in my bathroom (I would see this one before bed and first thing in the morning) said: Your Father loves you more today than he did yesterday. This disease changed Dad's ability to be his authentic self. Remember, your Dad needs you to know & understand he has no knowledge of his behavior and cannot change today's outcome. Love him through his dark days. I think of you and Theresa. I'm happy you had a Father's Day breakfast with some of your family. We did the same today. This disease is so cruel. My hope is that they can figure out Theresa's plan, so that she may have calm days filled with peace.
Hi Barb - Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I will love my Theresa through all the dark days ahead. I appreciate your comment and support.
Just checking to say I hope things are at least okay! I hope for much better than that!
Hi Regenia - Yes, things have been better lately. The consistency of staying at memory care appears to be helping. Theresa is no longer asking about the cats and hasn't had any further altercations.. at least for the time being. Thanks for checking in.
@tpippen75 OH good! So glad to hear that!
Happy Father's day to you!
My mother had bouts of aggression and anger. Watching the different stages is hard. Blessings to both of you and prayers
You’re doing such an incredible job Trey! This is so hard and my heart is breaking for you and Theresa. I will continue to pray for you both as you continue this journey! Take care! 🙏❤️
Thank you for your prayers and support Debbie.
Oh man, I totally understand what you are going through! I worked in memory care myself, and having a mom who had Alzheimer's, this is really hard stuff to watch a loved one go through! I wish you the very best and that a plan will help her be more like herself. Happy Father's Day to you!!
Thank you for your support Carol and thank you for the care you provided to others in memory care.
I changed my Mom to a very expensive small Memory Care. 8-10 patients. Very structured, caring staff. Few males.
Hi Deborah - that is definitely on my radar.
Trey, thank you for being completely open about Teresa's altercations.
Your calm, reasonable approach is admirable.
I commend you for not "taking sides" because it isn't fair when people judge..... I'm very impressed with the option of moving Teresa to a quieter wing, away from other patients that trigger, or get triggered perhaps easily. You're doing a great job. God bless.
Thank you for posting about the challenges Theresa and you face as her Alzheimer's progresses. It helps so much. I worry all the time about my husband as it runs in his family. Your videos and willingness to share your story are immensely helpful. Prayers for you both.
Thank you for your prayers and support - you will be in mine as well.
May God's grace and love surround you and Therese.
Have a wonderful Father's day!
Keep up the great work that you are doing sharing your wifes hardship and the changes. We must not take life for granted --Through you, Theresa is sharing her story and she is touching each of us in ways that we love, but like you is also very sad. Thank you and happy Fathers day.
I'm so sorry! I hope she is feeling better soon. Hope perhaps there are some anxiety meds that could help calm her down a little (or adjustment of current meds) Altercations happen- thank you for sharing so everyone knows this-
Hi Heather - yes we may adjust her meds if the environmental changes do not help to ease her anxiety. Thank you for your comment and support.
So sorry for what you andTheresa are going through❤❤❤
I am so sorry to hear that you and Theresa have had some difficult times. Maybe a quieter wing would be better for her? I hope the situation gets better and you get some peace of mind.❤🙏
You are the kindest, most patient and loving husband. I am sorry that due to this terrible disease that you are both going through this pain and sadness.
Thank you for your kind words and support Laura.
Happy Father’s Day!
It’s constant adjustments and that’s okay. Like you said, we know what she doesn’t like(don’t touch her plants, people wandering in her room which would bother me too, lol) the memory care can honor those things and help facilitate a more conducive environment. It’s doable. Just keep advocating for her and continue doing your best to make her life there the best it can be. My heart hurts for you because I see how much you love each other. One day at a time ❤
Thank you Jacqueline. People wandering in my room would bother me too -lol. I don't blame her for that one. I will continue tackling the obstacles as they come. I appreciate your comment and support.
You are quite a man, my mother in law had this horrible disease a sweet kindly woman who ended up with violent tendencies love to you both from all of our family here In Oxford
Your sweet wife 🤗🙏🏻♥️
Trey, you are an amazing and kind man. I’m sorry your journey is so heartbreaking.
Bless y’all both.
Good to see you on the latest video, Trey. And I have to say, I’m glad you shared the details about the altercations. I think talking about all the different things you are dealing with helps even more people-especially those who might have also experienced seeing their family members with dimentia have altercations with residents. I imagine now that they saw your video that they don’t feel so alone like they are the only ones experiencing this. Explaining what you’re doing to help combat further episodes is also so good-because others can try what you’re trying and kind of compare notes. Like you said, every situation is different, but your videos offer so much insight. I hope you have a wonderful father’s day with your family tomorrow!! Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
Thank you so much for your comment - I appreciate your words and support.
My heart goes out to you both Trey. Continued prayers ❤🙏
I recently saw Jack Hanna Animal extraordinaire; also has Alzheimer’s. I saw a documentary about him now. He is definitely having a long goodbye
I saw that as well - very sad.
@@tpippen75 i hope you are doing well. It is a gorgeous day here at the beach I hope it is the same there for you. I had steamed Maryland crabs Monday and raw oysters.
Thank you so much for the update....
@Anthony fedrick I am good and just love your updates...you are teaching us all so much ....Thank you!
Thanks for the video , it’s helpful to know how this disease affects people
I so admire you for making these very real and raw and informative videos. You are making a difference I’m sure. Happy Father’s Day to you!
My mom is in a Board & Care with dementia. She would be ok for a period of time but had the “sundowner” syndrome & call me asking me to “get her out of there” & that she’d lost her ticket to get home, it was heartbreaking. She also was having trouble sleeping through the night. They ended up increasing her Seroquel dosage (I think 40mg), made her much less agitated & anxious. And she can still communicate. 🙏🏼
Thank you for sharing about you mom. Theresa is currently on 50mg of Seroquel twice daily. They may try something else with her if the environmental changes do not help. Much love and support to you and your family on this journey with mom.
@@tpippen75 of course! and thank you for sharing your experience. Also, I see others have posted about maybe not taking her out from the facility, I find that my mom just wants to get back "home" and it seems to just cause her stress. Maybe bring her in food from restaurants she really likes? Or maybe she's not that bad, anyway thoughts and prayers with you!
God Bless and Happy Father’s Day
I am sorry you and your wife have to go through this! Prayers for peace for the two of you!❤🙏🏻