Feminization of Society with Richard Reeves
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- Опубликовано: 5 окт 2022
- In this miniclip, Richard Reeves and I discuss society’s feminization, how the world has forgotten to prioritize equalization over feminization, and much more on topics that are guaranteed to spark conversation anywhere.
“Of Boys and Men”: my full conversation with Richard Reeves is now up for all access listening at: • “Of Boys And Men” with...
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Glad you caught the show. Let me know what you think in the comments and I’ll reply as soon as I can. If you’re a regular listener and would like to show your support and gain access to exclusive talks with some incredible minds, check out the Coleman Unfiltered membership here: bit.ly/3B1GAlS
The feminine form of bullying is reputational and social assassination. There's not a lot of social stigma associated with canceling, in some circles it's even admired.
I actually see female bullying most predominant now, probably because physical intimidation is being dealt with in schools, but girls don't operate that way. They do it through reputation destruction and shunning. Given that schools are run by women (especially in elementary but also more and more in high school), they don't see it as a problem...and generally its much tougher to get under control. I've got two daughters and I've been shocked at how cruel girls were (I also coached girls volleyball for a number of years). I don't see what has recently come out of Gender Studies (formerly Women's Studies) as being good scholarship or useful to society. Identity Politics is regressive and doesn't allow us to recognize that we have far more in common than we do that makes us different. There has been some good, in particular first wave feminism, but its gone off the rails and its dragging society with it.
Identity politics on one hand - status politics on the other. Pick your poison. Politics is always about interest group interest. The individual has little power on their own, thus they form interest coalitions. Wealthy White males have always had the most power in this society. All White males have benefited greatly from just their commonality with them, of being male and White. When males have a grievance with government or society, Wealthy White males are often a game changer. It is laughable that a certain group of White males can feel so wronged, when they have enjoyed and still significantly enjoy and benefit from, their association with, the wealthiest people in society.
@@siriuslyspeaking9720 Telling people to pick identity politics or status politics. But then proceed to confuse them in your next sentence.
Here's some news for you. Privilege doesn't produce spoiled brats. Privilege producers intelligence and good virtues. You're operating under the myth that privilege produces people who feel "wronged" when the majority of people who have had this "privilege" are too busy thriving and contributing to society to be complaining about identity politics. The people complaining about identity politics aren't privileged at all. They're less privileged than minority groups because society at large takes their grievances even less seriously.
Yep. 👍🏼
@@siriuslyspeaking9720 Any theory on human behavior needs to take into consideration all humanity. You find similar patterns of human behavior right across the planet, putting "race" into the equation says more about you, than offering any clarity on behavior. Some males and some females benefited from structures of societies, most males and females didn't. Your theory breaks down immediately. This tired trope of an explanation holds no explanatory power, and has no credibility outside of a shrinking social bubble. Do better.
@@seaglider844 u guys are missing the point that patriarchs and a masculine society is better for women, they are happier and more protected by men. If it’s equal then to each his own I’m not obligated to stand up or risk my neck for a women if we are equal. Women and men prosper and flourish more so under a masculine Society, under a matriarch both men and women are miserable.
The prevalence of the idea that being offended makes you a victim of violence goes further than just equalization. it's already gone too far.
it's never okay to bully someone, so long as they don't disagree with my politics.
The problem with the "equalization of culture" argument is that it's men who have had to do all the equalizing. Male traits such as aggression and competitiveness are suppressed or punished. Even methods of assessment that boys do best in (examinations) are replaced by systems which better suit girls (continuous assessment). Telling boys they have to behave like girls in order to succeed is NOT "equalization of culture".
Aggressiveness is not a male trait. There is nothing “manly” about a 40 year old bitch man who wants to fight somebody because they cut them off in traffic. If you can’t control your feminine bitch emotions then you are definitely not a man.
Aggressiveness is linked to testosterone across the animal kingdom, not just in humans. That doesn't mean men have to act aggressively, but it is their nature to be more aggressive than women, due to higher levels of testosterone. I would hope a healthy society teaches boys to manage their aggression and channel it into productive activities, rather than just telling them it is "bad".
@@jrd33 Aggressiveness is not the same as assertiveness. Both are products of testosterone and a force of nature. Aggressive males cannot control it and are therefor neither manly nor grown up. Assertive males can control this force and are therefore grown up and manly.
"Aggressiveness is not the same as assertiveness." -- Sure. Aggressiveness is a biological drive, assertiveness is a human social behaviour. To be a man is to be a human adult male. Once you start associating desirable social traits with "manliness" or using "man" as shorthand for "adult male with certain behaviours", you are only adding confusion, especially since the desirability of some traits is culture-specific.
@@jrd33 Aggressiveness is not a biological drive it’s a behaviour. To be a man means being a stoic and being a stoic means that you have control over your emotions.
I am 48 and I went to an all-boys Catholic school. Bullying happened there all the time. It wasn't fun, but it was in a way cathartic; it tested you for life. You had to meet and overcome the tests of the yard as well as the classroom. I grew up a stronger, more resolved person because I had been through the trials of my tribe.
Yep. Trials within reason are part of life. Going totally the other direction and coddling a whole generation is terrible and look what we have now? Victims in everything.
In less of an affluent class physical bullying is common. I went to an all girl’s school. The bullying was not physical but mostly verbal and shunning. In other words, trolling and cancelling. Many of the “intellectuals” on line don’t consider economic class very often if at all. It’s a tremendous flaw in analyzing the problems with our society.
Emotional bullying is so much worse than a black eye.
Those scars never leave so many people.
And those emotional bullies get away with it easily.
An all girls school....well, girls are more likely to bully in that way regardless of wealth, boys are more likey to bully physically
It irritates me how some people think so little about the things they say. Yes bullying is bad. But where does ribbing and pisstaking end and where does bullying begin?
Kids lives' can be permanently ruined by being expelled, obviously sometimes kids should be expelled for the safety of other kids....but this is not always the case.
Another concern is that when you heavily socially control a formative environment like schools, youre not preparing children for the real world. I dont mean to suggest we should tolerate bullying to prepare kids for the real world, but we need make sure theyre aware that school environments are NOT the real world, and find ways to help them gain the awareness and social skills theyre not learning in school environments.
Emotional bullying is immeasurably worse than a black eye and no amount of "zero tolerance" bullying will put an end to it.
I have to agree; it's when people get into your head that the most damage is done.
And that happens to be the more feminine way of bullying
@@ezzerdamoose It's not feminine; males and females both verbally bully and shun, it's just that females dont tent to get physical as much as males. That doesnt make verbal bullying a female specific behaviour.
um, no, I'd rather get called mean words than get the sh*t kicked out of me lol what are you talking about
@@ActionAlligator Kids commit suicide over emotional bullying. All the time.
I don’t see bullying as a specifically masculine thing. Girls are certainly aware that girls can be bullies to one another. I like both of these men but, at least in this clip, really missed on the mark on the very real dislike and even demonization of masculinity as an identity in culture generally; while at the same time, there is a praising and encouragement of femininity in men
could you use the youtube feature of captions instead of burning them into the video? i get highly distracted by captions and prefer to turn them off if i can
You make a great point, Coleman, regarding the dangers of over-pathologizing. I also find it concerning that there are similar trends in viewing deviations from "dominant cultural views" again potentially over-pathologizing those that don't align with their perceived cultural norms in the age of globalism and free flowing exchange of views no less.
I like the pro sports analogy. But I have to say I think the anti-bullying programs went too far about 10 or 15 years ago.
Yes. 👍🏼
Very thought-provoking, thanks for sharing.
I heartily agree that a decrease in bullying is an absolute positive.
I also agree it's valuable and important to appreciate and value both male and female teachers. However there is some research girls do better academically and personally in all-female academic and scholastic environments, while boys flourish better in a mixed-gender environment.
Interesting point about ADHD but I am not sure you are right Mr. Hughes. However, thank you for an excellent and stimulating conversation - really beautiful job.
I appreciate your clarification vis a vis Adderall and further clarification you are not an M.D. Thank you for sharing that, definitely an important piece of information and addition to this conversation.
We need to reach a point in society and academic/intellectual life in which skills outside intellectual and academic skills and knowledge are valued in our educational system and broader society, politics and culture. This seems relevant vis a vis your discussion of the dynamics and analysis of attention and focus, and of the way education has changed over time, and of ADHD in these contexts and the general context of this discussion.
Thoughtful segment. Nontraditional pathways are thankfully opening up where jobs now often ask for equivalent experience if a candidate doesn’t have a BA. And many neurodivergents do benefit.
The pathologizing of neurodivergence is regrettable but it seems like there’s a shift from the medical to social model of disability/thinking about it in relation to societal norms.
Dropping info here for commenters who made be less informed: it isn’t solely being restless. There are multiple types. Women tend to have inattentive ADHD as they’re punished more for being “unruly.”
Adhd is about having a hypersensitive and rewards-based nervous system. What is going on is that they produce less dopamine impairs motivation, leads to sleep problems, and social issues. Medication increases dopamine and “calms” them. Those with the condition have no problem focusing on what they find interesting because it naturally produces dopamine.
Also ADHD and autism have ahigh comorbidity which leads to more issues. Autism is about processing information differently. Often these types struggle in typical school because how it geared toward neurotypical info-processing.
The positive of de-normalizing bullying, as an example, can be offset with a negative example such as the growing safetyism in the country. And beyond the cultural discussion, with testosterone levels having plummeted, we’re very literally becoming feminized.
Never thought I would relate to Coleman lol but I’m the same way. I did well in college but I can only really be invested in something if I’m interested. And I only did well in school because of my ability to pack in a lot of information within a very short amount of time. I would study on the day of the exam and get an A lol as to whether I kept the information, that’s another topic 😂
“Less male friendly,” “No I think it’s equalization,” sounds like he doesn’t know what he thinks.
I could be wrong, but i suspect some of the changes are connected to the spread of therapy and the consequent prioritisation of mental health.
I believe this too
the prioritization of mental health only came in recent years, after fifty years of weeding out bullying and rudeness became important to institutions
@@johnjungkook2721 Culturally it started to take off in the 50's, in the US at least.
I'm surprised at this conversation. It's a bit superficial. Masculinity and femininity shouldn't be viewed as different priorities but as different approaches. Masculinity doesn't celebrate or ignore bullying. There were masculine approaches to stop bullying. Discipline and corporal punishment for anybody who got caught was one way. Cadets, sports, boxing clubs and teaching chivalrous behaviour were others. Any bullying that remained was managed by teaching stoicism to the victims. Do we have any data on whether this a bad approach? What is the data around mental health from those times? Can the results have been worse than today's? Feminisation tore down that approach and bullying got worse. Then we had feminine approaches to deal with the bullying it created.
Now we have new bullying on social media and we need new approaches to that. Are there feminine and masculine approaches to social media bullying? What about banning kids from social media and only allowing social media use from the age of 18? Would that be the masculine or feminine approach?
Masculine as sacrifice and punishment now for better outcomes later. Future planning and harsh punishment isn’t a feminine trait. It shouldn’t be shocking mothers deal in the day to day emotional health of a single issue while men plan into the future and seek to organize future outcomes to benefit not just Society but his family i Society, not saying women don’t do this just in general it’s more of an interest for men as well as men and women think differently.
Nice clip! Also judging by the beard, are you at your GigaChad phase, Coleman?
Coleman, you described it exactly correctly. Wondering if I should send this to my therapist who seems obsessed with the notion of everyone having ADHD. If everyone has ADD (the normal, original term) and everyone is autistic, then don't those terms end up sort of not meaning anything?
Western society passed gender (male, female) equalisation about 3-5 years ago.
Society is replacing physical bullying with psychological bullying, which is the bullying that virtually ever female I know said was rampant when they went school in the 80s.
There are always trade offs.
The more regulation of interpersonal behavior, the more scope for tyranny.
Tyranny for kids is actually a good thing, discipline and standards are wat holds a society together especially if ur raising or help raising kids to be Good adults. Not woke virtue signaling morally righteous Marxist and communist.
The trade off were way way better in the hmm let’s see…1870’s 1880’s 1890’s 1900’s 1910’s 1920’s 1930’s 1940’s 1950’s 1960’s 1970’s 1980’s 1990’s was much much more responsible as a society.
Are feminine priorities ALL a society needs? Outside manual labor, supply/demand economics, meritocracy - none of these appear on the radar of female priorities
Yet, it is SO bad on the internet (bullying)...it's like it shifted...
I think in recent years the move towards equalization has taken a more marked tilt towards feminization, so I would push back at Reeves and Hughes a bit here. Just one example: the public library in my region (Saskatchewan Canada) has a nine to one spread on materials about 'women' vs those about 'men', and the titles about men tend to be pejorative (at least those deemed 'most relevant'), while the ones about women are 'ra ra go girl' affirming.
Why is the federal government politicians so indifferent about the struggles of Boys and Men ?
On the left you know who you are. On the right the same principle applies to you too .
based on rates of suicide, drug use and general male crumbling in modern society...I'd say that overlooking bullying hasn't turned out too well.....
Bullying isn't any different than it was decades ago imo. Kids have been mean forever lol. The only thing that changed is the internet and the society itself
1. Access to internet. Kids can't get a break like they did previously. You can be bullied 24/7
2. Kids have become numb to what death is. I didn't even know what suicide was until I was in my teens. 15+
3. The only drugs we knew about as Kids were cigarettes and Marijuana. Now Kids have access to literally drug
Also ppl aren’t growing up a kid bully is now an adult bully exactly cause our society would allow to a certain degree allow kids to beat up a verbal bully, now the kids who fight back or stand up for themselves are punished and the verbal bullies multiple by the dozens, thousands and millions, men can’t physically bully and get punished for it and learn from it now they are too scared to be themselves or act out so they act out in the only ways society allows them to do which is verbally and emotionally, like only the male avenues for bullying are closed all of the women avenues for preferred bullying I should say are all open wide in part of the school systems and social media along with culture, so there more bullies now then ever cause they can’t be physically put in their place, and men and women bully like women and are allowed to. Even female verbal bullies would get a fist to the face by another women back then to teach a lesson. Now the cops can’t even correct course.
That’s stuff still happens just cause they are privileged and don’t grow up in a poor area doesn’t mean it doesn’t still happen.
I also think there's a serious problem with some areas of American/Western culture looking down on men and men's rights, not that I totally agree with the latter on some stuff.
and here’s why that’s a good thing …
I cannot prove this, because I assume no one is or has been meeting in back room conspiracies, but there has been a rather dramatic and significant shift in the power matrix in western culture from “maleism” to “femaleism”. In this century in the mid to late 20-teens it felt like sleeper cells exploded across western civilization. It looks like this: Males have dominated in every society on every continent throughout history up until the 1960s when feminism slowly, but loudly begins, as does the introduction of The Pill. At the same time one of the first things that happens under LBJ is the Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act. While these Acts are grabbing the headlines, he has also launched something that is going to make a bigger impact on African American culture: the War On Poverty (WOP). Without going into all the WOP details it ends up totally destroying the black nuclear family all in the name of helping the victims (children). The State literally replaces the black male patriarch by declaring that financial aid for dependent children is for the taking except there cannot be an able bodied males living in the house. Black marriages having children within a decade fall from 87% to under 25%. Black male incarceration rates go through the roof. There are whole black neighborhoods where patriarchal families are less than 15%. Hip hop culture explodes and there is a sexual objectification of women, black gangsta rap is glorified, and thought leaders in black academics are mostly women. Any or all of this is beyond criticism because “victim blaming” is forbidden. But how does one marginalize the white male? White males invented colonialism, slavery, unbalanced power matrixes that favor them, oppression, patriarchal families that keep women pregnant, homebound, and financially dependent upon men. The dot connection to “white male toxicity” is simple and automatic. As an example, today it’s so bad that a politician in California named Ben Allen who has the most progressive credentials of any one in the state recently said at a Rotary club he can’t run for a statewide or federal office because there is “no room for anyone who looks like him in his [Democratic] party.”
Colleges are predominantly matriculating female students and media companies are predominantly hiring white, elitist, female reporters that are allies of black activists and editors. And in case you need an anvil to fall on your head, Senator Hirono from Hawaii on September 19, 2018 said, “Men need to step up, shut up and do the right thing for a change.” Sen. Hirono is a woman. Her idea is for men to get out of the way.
Hey, fellas, wake up, there’s a culture war going on and we’re getting our ass kicked!
Where is the new script for men in the twenty first century ?
ADHD isn't JUST not being able to focus.
Then what else is it lady
@@KD400_ emotional dysregulation. it's not a deficit of attention it's that everything grabs attention. Time blindness. Cognitive function lags. ADHD has many similar symptoms to autism.
@@amyspencer6250 so ur saying its genetic. Maybe I guess I don't know for sure. Do u suffer from it. And what do u think should be done about it. And how does this relate to the feminization of society
@@KD400_ it can be genetic but not always. I have it, one of my children has it but my other two children don't.
@@amyspencer6250 so what do u think should happen. What should be done. Do u think feminization is good for society. Because I think men should be leading the household. Adhd can be controlled though
That fact you can say “The future is female” with no fear of consequences shows that misandry is becoming common.
It's women with the jobs and money now. I see them at work on the computer on Amazon spending the money they haven't even made yet. Imagine what they must spend on phones... I think 70% of the decisions made about even things like cars are made with women's preferences in mind. They must be bigger consumers on some level.
The TV show Cobra Kai is fiction for sure
The problem with a lot of RUclipsrs is that they have no training in any of the subjects they're addressing. This segment jumps from bullying to feminization (which is really equalization) to ADAH and elsewhere in just 14 minutes. Always best to listen to longer-form podcasts with experts in their fields instead of randos opining about subjects they clearly don't understand.
You said it. The postmodern era means everything is subjective so everyone thinks their opinion is valid. It’s like sociology and anthropology don’t exist. Manosphere personalities are better informed
This man doesn't know the history of feminism, nor of education.
string finish
I would love to see someone really tackle the reality that at the same time that we have aggressively tackled the problem of bullying, the problem of school shooting has sky rocketed...
I associate "toxic femininity" with cancel culture, crybullies, censorship, and the erosion of free speech rights. I'd much rather deal with an arrogant high school jock from the 1990's, to be honest. Saying this as someone who got bullied in high school for preferring chess over homo-erotic contact sports.
Those were the days…when u used to be bullied for not wanting to do gay things. Now u get bullied and ur reputation ruined if u don’t come out as a women or at least liking other dudes sexually. Or not kneeling for the flag 🇺🇸 or not wearing the Nazi rainbow flag
I'm from Hungary. Bullying has never been a thing here.
For some reason I doubt that
Coleman did a great job getting the guest to engage with the topic of feminization of the west.
The guy initially dismissed it as "ug the macho guys are just whining" and generally grasped the criticisms further in the convo
"Equalization" not feminization is how I see it also. The word balance came to my mind. There are Black males who show a high degree of concern over what they perceive as an increasing feminization of Black males, however; they don't consider the other side of it that, there has also been a masculinizing of females at the same time. They only see that from the traditional male perspective and see it as a de-feminization of woman.
Both aren’t good but it’s not at all equal, u can see who enrolls in college these days. Mostly women, as well as women are getting into these high positions of power in culture in Hollywood in academia they are maybe more masculine women who got there but that doesn’t remove or take away their feminine traits or characters, if anything it just means with more women around and more feminization of these institutions the more open they can be about transforming them into a more maternal or matriarchal society. The society is feminized by default of women being in these positions thinking like women, u wildly underestimated how men and women think completely different about how to operate or run a business/organization or society. Women don’t lose their femininity. It’s encouraged today as well as them being more masculine to take the place of men, men are not encouraged to be more masculine so idk how both can be true or how society’s getting more masculine but more feminine at the same time.
Men being physically able to be aggressive and violent, mixed with a proper moral code, is a key building block to mankind having a thriving society. Too many parents and teachers prefer to pretend “all violence is wrong” it’s simply not true. Polite society is only allowed because men choose to put mutually put away violence as long as rules are adhered to, but the ability and threat of violence must be prominent for rule breakers (ie rapists and murderers)…the ultimate proof of feminization of the west is the progressives rooting for violent criminals and pedos
L
I'm not 100% on board with the last point, but the rest is solid.
I'm not 100% on board with the last point, but the rest is solid.
Exactly u are so based and red pilled I hope everyone especially Coleman can come around to realizing crime and punishment go hand n’ hand.
@@ottam what are u talking about its 100% the liberal progressive agenda to go light on crime and allow criminals to get out earlier and more often, there aren’t as many pedo’s and rapist in red districts and true red states…so the prove is in the pudding.
Bullying is a normal healthy part of growing up.
It’s should form part of the social development of children, but spending months on end being miserable and dreading going to school is not healthy. If you’re the 1 kid in a hundred who had this experience it’s not a good thing.
Can you give me an example of healthy bullying?
Good thing I never went through it
@@ChillingTales12 u should have it you vote on the left u clearly don’t understand the discipline and sacrifice we are suppose to endure to create strong men in society, this is why u don’t have strong men or women, “oh I don’t want to be bullies” like that’s the worst thing we could go through in the world, it actually builds character and makes u a more resilient person but nobody wants to take accountability or learn from disruptions in life. Good or bad how we respond to diversity in life is how one builds character, also I highly doubt u haven’t emotionally castrated someone over their opinion before into a response u rather hear them share with you, that’s called emotional bullying and it’s worse then physical and more feminine trait.
@@dumfriesspearhead7398 it builds character and resilience. Elon musk was bullied, so was Larry Elder, Neil Degrass Tyson, countless other leader and successful people were bullied wen younger including King Charles, I was bullied and bullied and I am pretty successful and happy knowing I was a kid I did and they did regrettable things. I am emotionally stronger for it and can recognize the difference between bullying and confronting evil or bad ideas.
Both of these guys should read the Comments section.
I never thought I would live long enough to find the crowd being a lot smarter than the pundits but here we are.
I guess it happens when the pundit is so out of touch with reality.
I wonder what this means for online discourse.
Decentralisation more?
First it was the journalists, now it's their replacements who are fast becoming detached and wrong.
And Experts are just stupid. Which is really weird.
It’s the experts discredited by their field and the media that are smart and trustworthy.
Soy takes
Why don’t u bring on real experts in their field not designated by their peers or recommend by the outliers who know the truth…people they claim are “right wing” funny how ur always able to have the conversation but not with anyone center right.
"Its low tide in the scrotums of the Modern World"....author unknown
Once the mad max times come we'll laugh at the wahmen fighting with each other over tampon shortages.