As soon as she said he was Pakistani I had this visceral shame come over me. I feel ashamed as a Pakistani and as a man that you’d have to go through something like that. I hope you find solace in your latter life and forget about everything he did to you. I hope you can find someone who treats you the way every women deserves to be treated. ❤
As a person who is labelled as Pakistani despite being originally from Bangladesh, I am ashamed to have guessed spot on which race she married right from the beginning.
@@sohaib3619 I had a strong feeling that she would've married an American Pakistani based on the fact that she is a revert and is looking for somebody from a background of Muslims. Also Pakistani is just common so was an easy guess
It's not just Pakistanis that have this problem. Many ethnic groups, Muslims and non Muslims, are unable to cope in a pluralistic society. I saw another similar situation with a revert sister who came to the Masjid and married the man leading the Salah. He left her after having 3 kids and married another wife. This is also a big problem with some who follow the latest 'manhaj'. I've seen lots of this, and they are not from the Indian subcontinent. To all revert sisters: find someone who grew up in this society, and know and understand it, and is compatible with you when you choose a spouse. Don't be fooled by the outward appearances -- compatibility matters a great deal in marriage. You must have common interests. Our revert sisters deserve the best!
well done for giving her a platform, I am a revert and got married one year later the man was abusive and it broke me, I was told by other Muslims I needed to be patient !! so wrong. I got out and I'm grateful to Allah for bringing me through this trial , it brought me even closer to Allah and ive learned to only trust in him
To find Islam and then marry a psycho…May Allah give her Peace and compensate her with a better spouse. It’s amazing that she did not abandon Islam like so many others have in similar circumstances.
This was absolutely my journey , I became a single parent with two sons , but the context flipped as I am of Pakistani heritage and he was a Danish convert. He went ahead and divorced 3 more times , with sisters from Bangladesh , Iran . So yes abuse knows no nationalities but their traits and a abusive patterns are almost identical. I remarried to a Pakistani man , marrie now 22 years ! He helped me raise my two boys !
Thank you for your precious comment. It gives me hope. I was raised in ‘abusive’ home and see red flags very quickly in some of the proposals that came my way, I had a great fear of marrying a man who was abusive even to speak harshly/gruffly, I couldn’t tolerate. The downside is that now I may not ever be married considering my age but Alhumdulilah I must be grateful for all the great blessings in my life. Alhumdulilah. May Allah bless your life. Ameen
I have a malaysian girlfriend and her mom said she didn't want her daughter to be controlled by husband. I was shocked to hear that because I wouldn't do that to the person that I love.. but too bad for me, I'm still seeking my girlfriend's mom's.. approval. .
You did expect a person to leave Islam after such a treatment but she kept strong and I love how she doesn't follow stereotypes that are wrong and assumes every Muslim is like that. She really kept strong through all of this and I think that is one of the biggest signs of a true believer. She as a convert can stay so strong through all of this and trusting god is actually something that many Muslims can't do. she is so optimistic about Islam! she is a wonderful woman and also my new role model. may god bless her. also to everyone one out there in a situation of abuse with anyone spouse, friends, or parents, I just want you to know that there is always a way out, you just have to know your self-worth and once you know you deserve better, you can change everything. another thing I would like to point out is that we especially Muslim women are told to have 'sabr ' and be 'patient'. THAT IS NOT AT ALL RIGHT! oppression is nothing to be patient about and waiting till it's over thinking the other person might change or that he/she is deep down a good person or worrying what will happen to the kids etc should never be the case. ''IF THEY CAN DO IT ONCE, THEY CAN DO IT AGAIN'' and maybe forever. I genuinely pray for everyone who has to deal with anything like this and I hope you can change this and make things better for yourself because you ARE capable. may Allah help you out in every move you make. AMEEN
if you accept islam for a person then it make sense to leave islam But if one accept Islam for the sake of ALLAH SWT and accept that it is truth then they wont change , because Muslims are human and do sins
@@rajababy2009 yes! i totally agree with what you say. i think i was a bit to naive when writing that and maybe i didnt put it the way you did. Thank you!
After going through all these test and tribulations this beautiful sister sits here still with her hijab on, still an amazing Muslim passing her test with an A+ inshaAllah. This is the power of a Muslim Lady and being a real woman. Pls people learn that you don't runaway from hardships, you just embrace Allah(ease) and get rewarded with peace at the end. فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرً Verily, with hardship comes ease -Surah Ash-Sharh (The Relief) Qur'an 94:6
About abusers being good at hiding themselves is very true. My friend dated her husband since their freshman year (they were college mates). Imagine being together for 4 years, after graduated, got married and suddenly the man she thought she knew well, turned out to be something else right after the birth of their first son. As Muslims, men or women (coz women can be abusers too), please ask Allah for guidance every time someone comes into your life: O Allah.. if he/she is good for my religion, for me & for my family, then make him/her my spouse but if he/she is not, regardless of my feelings for him/her, distance him/her away from me and please give me the strength to face this test.
Dating and marriage are 2 different things. Living with person requires compromises, understanding, love, compassion, dedication from both the parties at exact same level.
There was a women whose grave was filled with fragrances and people noticed it... They asked her husband that she didn't used to pray that much so please tell me what was her good act he must have done really good act... Her husband replied that he is incompetent he told her during first night that my parents forcefully arranged by marriage when i told them not to do so... She had patience but never spoke of it with anyone
Dated her husband for 4 years? And I believe they never talked about real issues. Of course after marrying she is gonna find that the guy is a different person duh 🙄 When you date someone, it's all about emotions, love love love... That's why Islam prohibits it, you don't follow the rules, you will suffer and that's it.
When some cultural Muslims want submissive girls from back home coupled with the ‘white’ girl that they feel is inferior you have a recipe for disaster. The abuse is easier to met out on a girl that doesn’t have the usual familial ties, the abuser knew exactly what he was doing. I’m glad she got out of it. I know several converts who have had very similar experiences. My advice to converts, don’t rush into marriage and have family and friends involved.
MashaAllah, she’s a strong person and has endured a lot. May Allah swt bless her for helping others going through what she has dealt with and May Allah swt protect all Muslim women and men from abusive spouses. It’s absolutely sickening to hear what she has been through, and such abusers should be brought to justice.
Being an abuse survivor myself, I agree with every word, sister said. It seems like he was a narcissist and you are an empath. Being Pakistani I feel the need to say sorry to you. I’m so sad how one person’s actions have a bad name for the whole community. I wish we could spend our lives according to the real teachings of Islam. May Allah bless you dear Sister 💕
@@AC-mp7cx don't say that, it will shameful to Muslim in general as well but more shameful to Pakistani Muslim community. Because it kinda like "culture". In Islam there is clear even you should follow prophet Muhammad (pbuh) action to his wives. He treat them kindly not only 1 wife but many wives. He never put his hand even he never do that to his servant. How can Muslim can't do better for only 1 wife?
@@TheKingofTheUniverse.I have noticed that a lot of people who are helping the poor aren't putting that much importance of the current moral state of poor people in America. It's one thing to provide materialistic needs to the poor but also another important thing is to check there moral state. Even if you provide needs to the poor, but if some of them are in to crime in order to get there needs, then they need the moral model of a father like figure in the home / community to reinforce the moral development.
Thank you Ansari for selecting such a topic and thank you sister Lisa for sharing your story. Domestic violence or abuse should not be tolerated. I wish Sister Lisa will be a pioneer to tell people more about family and relation. I hope people you value her more as she has the understanding of different religion and different culture. I wish the very best for her.
You're ignorant of Islam or lying. The "Prophet" Muhammad hit his third wife named Aisha on her chest that caused her pain (Sahih Muslim 4:2127) for disobedience and the verse 4:34 of the Quran instructs Muslim husbands to beat their wives even for suspicion/fear of disobedience/desertion from them: Shakir: *Men are the maintainers of women* because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; *the good women are therefore obedient,* guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) *those on whose part you fear desertion,* admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and *beat them; then if they obey you,* do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great. (Bold emphasis mine)
Islam and feminism can't be merged, may Allah grant Muslim women in the west the way of our female predecessors and finish the germs and bacteria of feminism which didn't left the reverts and mutated female muslim migrants in the west
Lisa ,I m so proud of as a true Muslim lady. Say thank you to your ex for making you so strong. It's a big thing that you didn't step out from Islam. You are truly inspired me . May Allah bless you great health n happiness.
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope it will help a lot of people around the world. My niece is recovering from 20 years of abuse and mental health issues. She has left her husband about a year ago. love from uk
@@ajam3086 he's also picking and choosing in islam. Don't get me wrong I do lots of wrong things but at least I try to better with the help of Allah, this guy is just making excuses for himself.
What a strong woman. She stood up for “Muslim men” even while being abused by one. It’s heartbreaking that Muslim men are not being great examples of themselves and she felt she had to protect their reputation. Abuse is never okay. Those who stopped her from walking away are almost as accountable as the abuser themselves.
As a Pakistani, I am so sorry for that excuse of a man. Unfortunately, these type of men are very common. May Allah give you someone better in future and keep the shur away from you. Salam ❤
As an Indian Muslim i suggest that we people of subcontinent are kinda conservative so white girls should stay away from us... Just because we can do wisdom because of adjustment that doesn't mean we have to allow each and everything what the wife says
As a person who is labelled as Pakistani despite being originally from Bangladesh, I am ashamed to have guessed spot on which race she married right from the beginning.
Omg mashaAllah she is so strong I'm so sorry she had to go through all that, but she's amazing for being able to speak up. Thank you so much for sharing your story it helps other vulnerable people feel they're not alone and they can survive after leaving an abuser. Trauma bond is such a real thing.
Thanks for sharing your story ... it's a good reminder for both men and women. May Allah grant you the highest rewards for your patience and the pain you endured.
I am so sorry to hear you went through this, my mother did and i still have memory of my childhood going through it, as a man my biggest worry getting married is reflecting some of that or going deep into life to forget not repeat what i experienced, inshallah you find better man.
Sister Lisa - Jazakum AllahuKhair for sharing your story. May Allah SWT reward you for what you have been through and be courageous to speak out. Ameen.
This is heartbreaking. Seriously, i am a muslim, and I commend you not leaving Islam after this. Bad apples are everywhere. Your faith is strong sister.
Stinginess is not only in money matters, it shows everywhere. Even in respecting others, in praising others, in giving space to others. They also are very much jealous ppl. Brother Ansari I am also dealing with an abuser from 22 years. It’s only recently that I have cut my emotional ties with him. Yes this time it’s me who is acting as an abuser. I still live with him. But we only talk about thing that are necessary for things to work properly. I don’t know I might leave him one day but still stuck. I could relate to the sister’s story ver much.
she is a strong woman and alhamdulillah the test she went through with her marriage didn't shake her faith. i really hope she will meet a good husband in future.
That's Islam for you. The "Prophet" Muhammad hit Aisha on her chest that caused her pain (Sahih Muslim 4:2127) and the Quran 4:34 instructs Muslim husbands to beat their wives if even suspect/fear disobedience from them: Shakir: *Men are the maintainers of women* because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; *the good women are therefore obedient,* guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) *those on whose part you fear desertion,* admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and*beat them; then if they obey you,* do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great. (Bold emphasis mine)
We do have wisdom but that doesn't mean we have to allow each and everything what the wife says.... Embarassing moment is when wife is not listening to you, driving cars and talking with na mahram as though he is his brother... English speaking muslims must adopt the way of our predecessors
The fact she tells this in public is extreme level of fitna, she will make Islam look bad as hell, she proly not even Muslim, Shia or whatever and her Ex.
@@Ghui2626What an ignorant comment you fool. She has a right speak out and call out these disgusting individuals. This isn't an Islamic issue, abuse comes from all backgrounds and religions - it's a human thing. Shame on you for making such a comment. When imams call out Muslim brothers for skipping Jummah for "more important" things like work or activities, are you gonna degrade the imaam for speaking out and creating awareness in hope of rectification within such individuals?!
@@ZaidKhan-su3ey I hope no woman marries you if you don't change your mentality. Driving a car is a problem in your book? You are just as bad as her husband was. Uselessness abound.
@@Ghui2626 lol. So, she should not tell it like it is? It's her experience and she has the right to say it. How dare you say she's not a Muslim? Hmm, God's assistant? Nonsense.
May Allaah reward you for sharing your story dear sister. I resonated with so much of it and I really love that you have concluded "if someone has deen in their heart they would treat people better". That’s it! Islaam teaches us the best of manners and abusers are failing in their own religion when they abuse others. ❤
I went through something similarly. Publicly he held the image of a religious person. 5 time namaz, tahajud, tableegh, gave azan for fajar prayers etc. Behind close doors he was an alcoholic and drug abuser.
Kudos for you sister for staying on the path of Islam after such experience. Many others would have developed a reaction against the entire religion/community. May Allah guide and aid you and your sons.
it is heartbreaking to see how women are being abused by their partner and then again abused by their kid. It is scary to choose a supposedly pious spouse based on their public deeds then discover they act unislamically and the peak lies in how they treat their mother since the respect and kindness is due to the mother due to her importance and obedience as long as the mother doesn’t ask to violate rights of others
I also almost got engaged to someone who I thought was pious and a 'good' person. He turned out to be a sex addict and psychologically controlling, manipulating. It seemed like he cared but really he only cared about himself. I can totally relate even though we were together for 3 months only, I felt myself slowly disappearing and having lower and lower confidence. It felt like I was living in his world!
My sympathy goes out to the sister and all those who get abused. People aren’t Islamically educated, some if not large portions of the Muslims are just culturally Muslim and are operating on Jahiliyyah understanding of things, they not aware of the ethics, and moral guidelines detailed which Islam teaches but little advice my brother, it is recommended Islamically to put both sides of the story or things to get full context. And please don’t take this as I’m trying to accuse the sister, I’m just saying to get full context and sense of fairness, you know how hyper sensitive emotional of a society we live in, one side of the story will be used to generalize into the larger population of women and men to lie and demean so on.
Sister Lisa, speaks so eloquently and courageous! Well done on raising such a taboo subject! Muslims should be better and do better in this regard! Abusers who are male or female should face community condemnation and not protected.
Thank you Ansari for your beautiful contribution to spread the awareness. Thank you my dear sister for sharing your stories and for helping others :) As a woman who is not yet married l wanna thank you for reminding me that i need to take time before deciding to marry someone because i also have this mentality that i need to make it halal so i also thought that the faster the better. Actually that approach is wrong. We need to take time to decide. I wanna share somethg too. l had an experience asking an Ustaz for my friend. Because she is interested to get married with that Ustaz. But then when I asked his colleagues, everyone didnt recommend him and they said he is a hot tempered guy eventhough he looks so nice and soft while giving lectures on tv and youtube. So I told my friend no we shouldnt proceed. We shouldnt be deceived by outward persona. We should ask their colleagues because they are the ones who know his true colours.
This needs to be seen by more people. Remember the hadith that says the best people are the ones that are best to their wives/families, and I think that also means that the worst people are the ones who treat their wives/families badly
As salam alaikum brother Umar. Many women are just as abusive as men too. I know of a muslima who kept marrying and divorcing men, robbing them and eventually chopping up her last husband and actually cooked parts of his body. Another sister raped her husband when she knew he has a neurological disorder that makes him physically weak at random . She took advantage of him. Another sister married two muslims on the same day. Spending 3 days with each husband. I could go on all day. A sister from Emirates took her husband to court for hula divorce. Why because he was too nice. So dont sit their acting as if women are all innocent and cute.
@@MuhammadAli-xw4yc I'm sure the hadith is directed and applicable to both Muslim men and women and also to the entire ummah. Nobody says women cannot be abusive or all women are innocent and nice. Don't get triggered too easily. Don't ever make this about MEN vs WOMEN like the liberals are doing now.
@@CLBOO6 I wasn't triggered tbh, Just irritated with many born muslims and their bias for women over men, I detest liberals, And enjoy dialogue with them when they talk crap and lies on islam. Just sick of most muslim men putting women on the highest pedestal. Yes we do have muslim simps. And yes we have hypergamous muslima women. I'm a revert since 2008. I love islam and thank Allah I read about our beloved prophet Muhammad sallahu alayhi wasalam before I experienced the ummah. All the filthy bid'ah, cultural racism, getting assaulted in a masjid just because im not asian and not a sufi. Imam telling me he will call da cops just because I asked him in a polite manner for islam evidence for the use of pathetic tasbeeh beads. So much bad manners I literally pray at home. Again the level of pandering and simping for women is disgusting in the ummah.
@@Ruby-G Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "The believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behaviour, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives". [At-Tirmidhi, who categorized it as Hadith Hasan Sahih] It was narrated from Ibn 'Abbas that: the Prophet said: "The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives." حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بِشْرٍ، بَكْرُ بْنُ خَلَفٍ وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَاصِمٍ، عَنْ جَعْفَرِ بْنِ يَحْيَى بْنِ ثَوْبَانَ، عَنْ عَمِّهِ، عُمَارَةَ بْنِ ثَوْبَانَ عَنْ عَطَاءٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ قَالَ " خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي " . Grade: Hasan (Darussalam) Reference: Sunan Ibn Majah 1977 In-book reference :Book 9, Hadith 133 English translation: Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1977
May Allah reward you with a true pious husband and bless you greatly my sister. It is unfortunate there are a lot of abuse of women coming from foreign men who claim Islam. They bring cultural behaviors. This is why you must stick closely to the community and examine closely what is being said about them from the family, friends and community. The practice of having a Wali(close family member or respected Imam protector). The Muslim man should be known in the community and practicing. It doesnt matter how what deeds and acts he perform in Islam, its never acceptable and should never be tolerated PERIOD!. This type of abusive, in my understanding, is supposed to be exposed to the woman that he is an abusive man. And no Imam should marry anyone to an abusive man Insha"allah. Thank you for coming out and sharing this and I hope you continue to advocate for our sisters who are being abused and mistreated.
He was a monster to pull her out of the bathroom while she is with her children and choke her, is a horrendous picture to think through. Imagine what she was going through at that exact time, not for herself, but for her little ones.
That's one of the worst types of abuse I've heard from a sister yet. Allahummah bariha that she stayed strong and hopeful that Allah will make a way out for her
Mashallah sister. I am sorry of what you went through. Thankfully, you are out of the marriage and continue to believe in Islam. May Allah continue to protect you. Aamin.
My Muslim sister Allah is watch in shaa Allah u get Justice next life 4 ex husband Allah is justice. In shaa Allah be happy allah watch ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Alhamdulillah she is steadfast in the Deen and I am so proud of her. Allah will give her better, inshaaAllah & reward her for her steadfastness. This happens so often and not the 1st time that we hear about abusive spouse who are acting "pious". Do not act "pious" and follow the best role model, Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wassalam because he said specifically that the best man is one who is the best to women and his family.
It's very sad hearing your experience. All trials and tribulations cleanse your sins. He is broken. Still, there is no excuse for his actions. He will be held accountable. I pray Allah reward you for all of your hardship and compensate you in this life and the afterlife.
MY wife is a control freak! She is always right! 22 years of marriage 2 children one adult one teenager, I just tolerate for the sake of my children and I'm a dialysis patient with underline health issues. But Alhumdulillah I have a strong will and Tawakkul Allah, we are just passing through this dunnya our destination is Akirah 📿🤲
I feel for this sister, it's terrible what she had to go through, may Allah swt give her strength to move past this completely. That being said, not all of our brothers and sons are abusive, the majority of Muslim men are good people
Very explicit talk about Marital abuse 👍🏻 In other words, I’d say of course if you’ve had a chance to really know a guy how he is behaving with his family & friends & seen red flags, before you accept his marriage proposal to you & get married to him , please think twice & do an Isthikhara, which will inshaAllah help you direct to either accept or reject this prospect for the best of course, your destination will proceed to with the help sought from Allah swt . May all those who are finding themselves in such toxic, satanic abuse, help come to a decision to get out of such situations soon . Aameen!
@@Altair-El-Haddad how does that make a difference????? Her husband was extremely abusive. Regardless of whether she's "an angel" or not, no human being deserves to go through that. And yes her husband was a monster of a man.
@@tabiakhan9870 you don't know her personally. Also, a Muslim/muslimah shouldn't make judgements or assumptions in the first place, especially if the person who's being slandered isn't present to defend themselves. Secondly, there's 3 sides to every story, his, hers and the truth, so don't blindly trust her or as a matter fact, anyone. You seem very emotional, tone it down and think rationally, it's better.
@@Altair-El-Haddad wow a sympathizer for a violent man. Tell me something, where is the slander here?? If someone has been robbed, would you call them talking about it equal to "slandering the robber?". if someone has been molested would you call their testimony as "slander against the assaulter". By your logic you should do that as well. Tell me what side of the story makes it ok to knock your wife unconscious??? What side or context can you possibly give this testimony to justify the man's actions??? What can the man say to justify such actions?? Nothing, because there is no "justifying" them. She could've done the worst things and yet he cannot beat her up. The only thing he can do is pray to Allah for forgiveness. You sound like an absolute nightmare of a person and I won't respond anymore to you. Get help
Sis...you truly is role model for the living women's and generations to come...May Allah SWT bless you sis...So many insights that u gave towards a human nature..I believe it broaden my wisdom towards understanding people...ofcourse we can never know someone to the full...but yes I will pass this is on to females close to me...Thank You...
Men or women speak up and speak up. One thing I learned and love about the teachings of Islam is that there is no taboo in Islam. Taboo and hush 🤫 mentality is Culture.
I am not being racist or anything close to that but I have had so many caucasian friends married to pakistanis with similar kind of outcome. Too painfull to watch this...I am overwhelmed and have flashbacks watching this. May ALLAH make it easy for you and your offsprings, ameen.
True what she said, verbal and emotional abuse is worse. Financial abuse as well. All to do with control. Thank God I'm divorced now, but I left it too late. It has affected my kids' mental health. I totally agree with her we women should respect ourselves and have self worth. She is so brave to stand up against wrong.
May Allah SWT make the rest of your life better and I ask Allah SWT to protect you and your kids. I can tell how strong woman you are. Patient and believer. I don’t think it’s any excuse to abuse other people because you were victim of abuse. That makes no sense to me.
I'm so sorry to hear your story. I totally understand and relate to your story. May Allah have mercy on you, and give you strength, and bless you with the best. Seems like that person has a mental health issue, and needs help. Nonetheless, he's responsible for his actions. All the very best!
@@youtubeuser9168 I see. When they got married, he became her "maintainer" or "in charge" of her, he was actually following Allah's command in Quran 4:34 to beat wife for suspicion or fear of disobedience/desertion. She should've researched on Islam before converting and marrying a Muslim man. She's still ignorant of Islam.
@@Ruby-G @Ruby aisha (ra) explicitly said that the prophet never hit anyone not a woman not a servant The prophet also said : "None hits except the worst amongst you" And also :Do not strike the female servants of God” and “Do not hit them and do not revile them" And scholars unanimously agreed that "beating" here in this verse is غير مبرح And غير مولم Meaning that which is not painful or does not cause injury That is why scholars said that it can only be done with a toothbrush or handkerchief or things like that Thus It is symbolic and it is to be done only when there is hope it might bring reconciliation And also the prophet said that this is when the wife does something clearly lewd or obscene فاحشة مبينة
@@abdullahjabir5506 Actually, Muhammad hit Aisha on her chest with his hand that caused her pain for disobedience(Sahih Muslim 4:2127). You need to provide the source of reference to back up your claims or you're lying.
As soon as she said he was Pakistani I had this visceral shame come over me. I feel ashamed as a Pakistani and as a man that you’d have to go through something like that. I hope you find solace in your latter life and forget about everything he did to you. I hope you can find someone who treats you the way every women deserves to be treated. ❤
As a person who is labelled as Pakistani despite being originally from Bangladesh, I am ashamed to have guessed spot on which race she married right from the beginning.
@@Blaze0071 pakistani men are not more likely to abuse
@@Blaze0071 what are you trying to say?
@@sohaib3619 I had a strong feeling that she would've married an American Pakistani based on the fact that she is a revert and is looking for somebody from a background of Muslims. Also Pakistani is just common so was an easy guess
It's not just Pakistanis that have this problem. Many ethnic groups, Muslims and non Muslims, are unable to cope in a pluralistic society. I saw another similar situation with a revert sister who came to the Masjid and married the man leading the Salah. He left her after having 3 kids and married another wife. This is also a big problem with some who follow the latest 'manhaj'. I've seen lots of this, and they are not from the Indian subcontinent. To all revert sisters: find someone who grew up in this society, and know and understand it, and is compatible with you when you choose a spouse. Don't be fooled by the outward appearances -- compatibility matters a great deal in marriage. You must have common interests. Our revert sisters deserve the best!
well done for giving her a platform, I am a revert and got married one year later the man was abusive and it broke me, I was told by other Muslims I needed to be patient !! so wrong. I got out and I'm grateful to Allah for bringing me through this trial , it brought me even closer to Allah and ive learned to only trust in him
Wow! Sister you are strong and to have kept your love and faith in Allah despite it all. I am so amazed. ❤❤❤❤❤
May Allah make your life worry free and blessed in this world and the hereafter!
I know lots of Muslim husband's abused wives and then the wives left islam!
Scholars should warn convert women against getting married so soon. They can easily fall prey to predators who masquerade as pious men.
depends on the situation. Some things shouldnt be tolerated
To find Islam and then marry a psycho…May Allah give her Peace and compensate her with a better spouse. It’s amazing that she did not abandon Islam like so many others have in similar circumstances.
I agree… she has a big heart
I know lots of Muslim husband's abused wives and then the wives left islam!
Yes she’s strong Alhamdulillah, Allahumma baarik
She is sincere in her beliefs SubhanAllah
As a man, I don't understand why her husband acted like that.
This was absolutely my journey , I became a single parent with two sons , but the context flipped as I am of Pakistani heritage and he was a Danish convert.
He went ahead and divorced 3 more times , with sisters from Bangladesh , Iran .
So yes abuse knows no nationalities but their traits and a abusive patterns are almost identical.
I remarried to a Pakistani man , marrie now 22 years ! He helped me raise my two boys !
Thank you for your precious comment. It gives me hope. I was raised in ‘abusive’ home and see red flags very quickly in some of the proposals that came my way, I had a great fear of marrying a man who was abusive even to speak harshly/gruffly, I couldn’t tolerate. The downside is that now I may not ever be married considering my age but Alhumdulilah I must be grateful for all the great blessings in my life. Alhumdulilah. May Allah bless your life. Ameen
I have a malaysian girlfriend and her mom said she didn't want her daughter to be controlled by husband. I was shocked to hear that because I wouldn't do that to the person that I love.. but too bad for me, I'm still seeking my girlfriend's mom's.. approval. .
May Allah bless protect you.
You did expect a person to leave Islam after such a treatment but she kept strong and I love how she doesn't follow stereotypes that are wrong and assumes every Muslim is like that. She really kept strong through all of this and I think that is one of the biggest signs of a true believer. She as a convert can stay so strong through all of this and trusting god is actually something that many Muslims can't do. she is so optimistic about Islam!
she is a wonderful woman and also my new role model. may god bless her.
also to everyone one out there in a situation of abuse with anyone spouse, friends, or parents, I just want you to know that there is always a way out, you just have to know your self-worth and once you know you deserve better, you can change everything. another thing I would like to point out is that we especially Muslim women are told to have 'sabr ' and be 'patient'. THAT IS NOT AT ALL RIGHT! oppression is nothing to be patient about and waiting till it's over thinking the other person might change or that he/she is deep down a good person or worrying what will happen to the kids etc should never be the case. ''IF THEY CAN DO IT ONCE, THEY CAN DO IT AGAIN'' and maybe forever.
I genuinely pray for everyone who has to deal with anything like this and I hope you can change this and make things better for yourself because you ARE capable. may Allah help you out in every move you make.
AMEEN
if you accept islam for a person then it make sense to leave islam But if one accept Islam for the sake of ALLAH SWT and accept that it is truth then they wont change , because Muslims are human and do sins
Ameen. You are right
@@rajababy2009 yes! i totally agree with what you say. i think i was a bit to naive when writing that and maybe i didnt put it the way you did. Thank you!
Ameen
After going through all these test and tribulations this beautiful sister sits here still with her hijab on, still an amazing Muslim passing her test with an A+ inshaAllah. This is the power of a Muslim Lady and being a real woman. Pls people learn that you don't runaway from hardships, you just embrace Allah(ease) and get rewarded with peace at the end.
فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرً
Verily, with hardship comes ease -Surah Ash-Sharh (The Relief)
Qur'an 94:6
About abusers being good at hiding themselves is very true. My friend dated her husband since their freshman year (they were college mates). Imagine being together for 4 years, after graduated, got married and suddenly the man she thought she knew well, turned out to be something else right after the birth of their first son.
As Muslims, men or women (coz women can be abusers too), please ask Allah for guidance every time someone comes into your life:
O Allah.. if he/she is good for my religion, for me & for my family, then make him/her my spouse but if he/she is not, regardless of my feelings for him/her, distance him/her away from me and please give me the strength to face this test.
Dating and marriage are 2 different things.
Living with person requires compromises, understanding, love, compassion, dedication from both the parties at exact same level.
This is even more scary that they can change after such a longtime . after a child they feel she will not leave I think
There was a women whose grave was filled with fragrances and people noticed it... They asked her husband that she didn't used to pray that much so please tell me what was her good act he must have done really good act... Her husband replied that he is incompetent he told her during first night that my parents forcefully arranged by marriage when i told them not to do so... She had patience but never spoke of it with anyone
Dated her husband for 4 years? And I believe they never talked about real issues. Of course after marrying she is gonna find that the guy is a different person duh 🙄 When you date someone, it's all about emotions, love love love... That's why Islam prohibits it, you don't follow the rules, you will suffer and that's it.
E Johar, this dua is istehara. ❤
When some cultural Muslims want submissive girls from back home coupled with the ‘white’ girl that they feel is inferior you have a recipe for disaster. The abuse is easier to met out on a girl that doesn’t have the usual familial ties, the abuser knew exactly what he was doing. I’m glad she got out of it. I know several converts who have had very similar experiences. My advice to converts, don’t rush into marriage and have family and friends involved.
Exactly. Strong family ties SOMETIMES protects against this. But this man was disrespectful to his mother even. He is trash
Totally agree
MashaAllah, she’s a strong person and has endured a lot.
May Allah swt bless her for helping others going through what she has dealt with and May Allah swt protect all Muslim women and men from abusive spouses.
It’s absolutely sickening to hear what she has been through, and such abusers should be brought to justice.
Muslim womans in some communities are told to not divorce it's absurd!
Being an abuse survivor myself, I agree with every word, sister said. It seems like he was a narcissist and you are an empath.
Being Pakistani I feel the need to say sorry to you. I’m so sad how one person’s actions have a bad name for the whole community.
I wish we could spend our lives according to the real teachings of Islam. May Allah bless you dear Sister 💕
it doesnt matter what his race is
@@AC-mp7cx don't say that, it will shameful to Muslim in general as well but more shameful to Pakistani Muslim community. Because it kinda like "culture". In Islam there is clear even you should follow prophet Muhammad (pbuh) action to his wives. He treat them kindly not only 1 wife but many wives. He never put his hand even he never do that to his servant. How can Muslim can't do better for only 1 wife?
@@TheKingofTheUniverse.I have noticed that a lot of people who are helping the poor aren't putting that much importance of the current moral state of poor people in America. It's one thing to provide materialistic needs to the poor but also another important thing is to check there moral state.
Even if you provide needs to the poor, but if some of them are in to crime in order to get there needs, then they need the moral model of a father like figure in the home / community to reinforce the moral development.
This person (hushand )should be publicly shamed for his actions, so that he is an example for the abusers
Yes!! 💯
Amen
💯
No Inshallah Allah help him solve his problems
YESSSS. No need to keep abusers hidden
Thank you Ansari for selecting such a topic and thank you sister Lisa for sharing your story. Domestic violence or abuse should not be tolerated. I wish Sister Lisa will be a pioneer to tell people more about family and relation. I hope people you value her more as she has the understanding of different religion and different culture. I wish the very best for her.
Culture....versus islam teachings can be totally opposite😢😢😢may the lady find truly loving new moslem man.Aameen
You're ignorant of Islam or lying. The "Prophet" Muhammad hit his third wife named Aisha on her chest that caused her pain (Sahih Muslim 4:2127) for disobedience and the verse 4:34 of the Quran instructs Muslim husbands to beat their wives even for suspicion/fear of disobedience/desertion from them:
Shakir: *Men are the maintainers of women* because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; *the good women are therefore obedient,* guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) *those on whose part you fear desertion,* admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and *beat them; then if they obey you,* do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.
(Bold emphasis mine)
Lllp mmm
Islam and feminism can't be merged, may Allah grant Muslim women in the west the way of our female predecessors and finish the germs and bacteria of feminism which didn't left the reverts and mutated female muslim migrants in the west
Lisa ,I m so proud of as a true Muslim lady. Say thank you to your ex for making you so strong. It's a big thing that you didn't step out from Islam. You are truly inspired me . May Allah bless you great health n happiness.
so much love and prayers for her. Listening to her story has broken my heart but the way she dealt with it makes me proud of her
Thank you for sharing your story. I hope it will help a lot of people around the world. My niece is recovering from 20 years of abuse and mental health issues. She has left her husband about a year ago. love from uk
20 YEARS????????????????????
He gave street dawah, prayed five times a day but shout over his mom??? What type of a muslim he is if he don't even respect his mother??
bad cultural parenting
@@ajam3086 he's also picking and choosing in islam. Don't get me wrong I do lots of wrong things but at least I try to better with the help of Allah, this guy is just making excuses for himself.
Exactly. What a low life
What a strong woman. She stood up for “Muslim men” even while being abused by one. It’s heartbreaking that Muslim men are not being great examples of themselves and she felt she had to protect their reputation.
Abuse is never okay. Those who stopped her from walking away are almost as accountable as the abuser themselves.
Please, do not generalize, that's unfair.
As a Pakistani, I am so sorry for that excuse of a man. Unfortunately, these type of men are very common. May Allah give you someone better in future and keep the shur away from you. Salam ❤
As an Indian Muslim i suggest that we people of subcontinent are kinda conservative so white girls should stay away from us... Just because we can do wisdom because of adjustment that doesn't mean we have to allow each and everything what the wife says
May Allah destroy the abusers
My sister was married to one.. im born Muslim.. why do we have these type of men in Muslim community?
I know lots of Muslim husband's abused wives and then the wives left islam!
As a person who is labelled as Pakistani despite being originally from Bangladesh, I am ashamed to have guessed spot on which race she married right from the beginning.
Omg mashaAllah she is so strong
I'm so sorry she had to go through all that, but she's amazing for being able to speak up. Thank you so much for sharing your story it helps other vulnerable people feel they're not alone and they can survive after leaving an abuser.
Trauma bond is such a real thing.
Thanks for sharing your story ... it's a good reminder for both men and women.
May Allah grant you the highest rewards for your patience and the pain you endured.
If he could talk back to his own mother to that degree that’s a huge red flag, that should have been it that day
I am so sorry to hear you went through this, my mother did and i still have memory of my childhood going through it, as a man my biggest worry getting married is reflecting some of that or going deep into life to forget not repeat what i experienced, inshallah you find better man.
You won’t be like father, you already realizes what he did to your mother was wrong.
My heart goes out to this sister. May Allah bless her in this life and the next.
Sister Lisa - Jazakum AllahuKhair for sharing your story. May Allah SWT reward you for what you have been through and be courageous to speak out. Ameen.
This is heartbreaking. Seriously, i am a muslim, and I commend you not leaving Islam after this. Bad apples are everywhere. Your faith is strong sister.
I know lots of Muslim husband's abused wives and then the wives left islam!
@@Muwahid999 You have comprehension problem. I think you don’t know the meaning of the word ‘commend’.
@@nsaffini1975 sorry , my bad. Sometimes i misread things *in haste*
She is a strong women and a good Muslim..she could passed whatever tested Allah gave In Shaa Allah..very adorable and pray for her ❤❤
I listened to her talk about abuse and i could see my life story being told. Alhamdulillah I'm free now. What a huge blessing. Alhamdulillah.
Stinginess is not only in money matters, it shows everywhere. Even in respecting others, in praising others, in giving space to others. They also are very much jealous ppl.
Brother Ansari I am also dealing with an abuser from 22 years. It’s only recently that I have cut my emotional ties with him. Yes this time it’s me who is acting as an abuser. I still live with him. But we only talk about thing that are necessary for things to work properly. I don’t know I might leave him one day but still stuck. I could relate to the sister’s story ver much.
she is a strong woman and alhamdulillah the test she went through with her marriage didn't shake her faith. i really hope she will meet a good husband in future.
I know lots of Muslim husband's abused wives and then the wives left islam!
I love these types of discussions. It’s very much needed in our communities.
Classic borderline personality disorder. I’m so sorry my dear sister that you had to go through this. May Allah SWT bless you and protect you🤲❤️
That's Islam for you. The "Prophet" Muhammad hit Aisha on her chest that caused her pain (Sahih Muslim 4:2127) and the Quran 4:34 instructs Muslim husbands to beat their wives if even suspect/fear disobedience from them:
Shakir: *Men are the maintainers of women* because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; *the good women are therefore obedient,* guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) *those on whose part you fear desertion,* admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and*beat them; then if they obey you,* do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.
(Bold emphasis mine)
Is there any solution for this classic borderline personality disorder, please reply.
@@feminamusthafa1292 its deep rooted, from childhood.
I think a narcissist.
Its a narcissistic disorder not borderline.
As a muslim man this sister experiences embaresses me. I only take comfort in the fact that everything happens for a reason according to divine qadr
We do have wisdom but that doesn't mean we have to allow each and everything what the wife says.... Embarassing moment is when wife is not listening to you, driving cars and talking with na mahram as though he is his brother... English speaking muslims must adopt the way of our predecessors
The fact she tells this in public is extreme level of fitna, she will make Islam look bad as hell, she proly not even Muslim, Shia or whatever and her Ex.
@@Ghui2626What an ignorant comment you fool. She has a right speak out and call out these disgusting individuals. This isn't an Islamic issue, abuse comes from all backgrounds and religions - it's a human thing. Shame on you for making such a comment. When imams call out Muslim brothers for skipping Jummah for "more important" things like work or activities, are you gonna degrade the imaam for speaking out and creating awareness in hope of rectification within such individuals?!
@@ZaidKhan-su3ey I hope no woman marries you if you don't change your mentality. Driving a car is a problem in your book? You are just as bad as her husband was. Uselessness abound.
@@Ghui2626 lol. So, she should not tell it like it is? It's her experience and she has the right to say it. How dare you say she's not a Muslim? Hmm, God's assistant? Nonsense.
May Allaah reward you for sharing your story dear sister. I resonated with so much of it and I really love that you have concluded "if someone has deen in their heart they would treat people better". That’s it! Islaam teaches us the best of manners and abusers are failing in their own religion when they abuse others. ❤
I went through something similarly. Publicly he held the image of a religious person. 5 time namaz, tahajud, tableegh, gave azan for fajar prayers etc. Behind close doors he was an alcoholic and drug abuser.
That's just too much to be true???
Specially the ....thajjud and Azan for Fajr prayer.....omgeee!!!!
@@abdulmunim007 so true cause even if he were a hypocrite he wouldn't get up for tahajjud..beware alot of fake ex muslims comment
@@abdulmunim007 yep sounds unbelievable Allah's my witness
Impossible he actually believed in anything
I am sorry to hear that
May Allah bless protect you.
as a pakistani i can confirm this , in pakistan domestic voilence is so common especially in old times.
Abusers comes in all forms and religions.
Maybe but more pakis and Indians
As a Pakistani, I am sorry for what happened to you. May ALLAH provide you with the best of the best. Ameen.
Kudos for you sister for staying on the path of Islam after such experience. Many others would have developed a reaction against the entire religion/community. May Allah guide and aid you and your sons.
May Allah SWT bless and grant this sister so much success. In this world and the next.😊
Very sad to hear of the pain and suffering she faced.
abusive marriage needs to addressed highlighted and tackled well. hope she's mentally well. may Allah protect her make her stronger
She saved her boys from becoming abusers, subhanallah, may allah give her ease and happiness
it is heartbreaking to see how women are being abused by their partner and then again abused by their kid.
It is scary to choose a supposedly pious spouse based on their public deeds then discover they act unislamically and the peak lies in how they treat their mother since the respect and kindness is due to the mother due to her importance and obedience as long as the mother doesn’t ask to violate rights of others
I also almost got engaged to someone who I thought was pious and a 'good' person. He turned out to be a sex addict and psychologically controlling, manipulating. It seemed like he cared but really he only cared about himself. I can totally relate even though we were together for 3 months only, I felt myself slowly disappearing and having lower and lower confidence. It felt like I was living in his world!
I know lots of Muslim husband's abused wives and then the wives left islam!
My sympathy goes out to the sister and all those who get abused. People aren’t Islamically educated, some if not large portions of the Muslims are just culturally Muslim and are operating on Jahiliyyah understanding of things, they not aware of the ethics, and moral guidelines detailed which Islam teaches but little advice my brother, it is recommended Islamically to put both sides of the story or things to get full context. And please don’t take this as I’m trying to accuse the sister, I’m just saying to get full context and sense of fairness, you know how hyper sensitive emotional of a society we live in, one side of the story will be used to generalize into the larger population of women and men to lie and demean so on.
I’m so sad to hear this. 😢 Glad you got out and are using your voice for others.
Thank you for being brave and sharing your story to help others ❤️
ALHAMDULILLAH. Proud of become a Muslim
You are impressive, strong, and gentle. I resonate with your energy.
Sister Lisa, speaks so eloquently and courageous! Well done on raising such a taboo subject! Muslims should be better and do better in this regard! Abusers who are male or female should face community condemnation and not protected.
Thank you Ansari for your beautiful contribution to spread the awareness. Thank you my dear sister for sharing your stories and for helping others :) As a woman who is not yet married l wanna thank you for reminding me that i need to take time before deciding to marry someone because i also have this mentality that i need to make it halal so i also thought that the faster the better. Actually that approach is wrong. We need to take time to decide. I wanna share somethg too. l had an experience asking an Ustaz for my friend. Because she is interested to get married with that Ustaz. But then when I asked his colleagues, everyone didnt recommend him and they said he is a hot tempered guy eventhough he looks so nice and soft while giving lectures on tv and youtube. So I told my friend no we shouldnt proceed. We shouldnt be deceived by outward persona. We should ask their colleagues because they are the ones who know his true colours.
You can never guess about an abuser until you deal with him in day to day life.
I pray for sister Lissa to overcome this dark page of her life.
This needs to be seen by more people. Remember the hadith that says the best people are the ones that are best to their wives/families, and I think that also means that the worst people are the ones who treat their wives/families badly
As salam alaikum brother Umar. Many women are just as abusive as men too. I know of a muslima who kept marrying and divorcing men, robbing them and eventually chopping up her last husband and actually cooked parts of his body. Another sister raped her husband when she knew he has a neurological disorder that makes him physically weak at random . She took advantage of him. Another sister married two muslims on the same day. Spending 3 days with each husband. I could go on all day. A sister from Emirates took her husband to court for hula divorce. Why because he was too nice. So dont sit their acting as if women are all innocent and cute.
@@MuhammadAli-xw4yc I'm sure the hadith is directed and applicable to both Muslim men and women and also to the entire ummah. Nobody says women cannot be abusive or all women are innocent and nice. Don't get triggered too easily. Don't ever make this about MEN vs WOMEN like the liberals are doing now.
@@CLBOO6 I wasn't triggered tbh, Just irritated with many born muslims and their bias for women over men, I detest liberals, And enjoy dialogue with them when they talk crap and lies on islam. Just sick of most muslim men putting women on the highest pedestal. Yes we do have muslim simps. And yes we have hypergamous muslima women. I'm a revert since 2008. I love islam and thank Allah I read about our beloved prophet Muhammad sallahu alayhi wasalam before I experienced the ummah. All the filthy bid'ah, cultural racism, getting assaulted in a masjid just because im not asian and not a sufi. Imam telling me he will call da cops just because I asked him in a polite manner for islam evidence for the use of pathetic tasbeeh beads. So much bad manners I literally pray at home. Again the level of pandering and simping for women is disgusting in the ummah.
_Remember the hadith that says the best people are the ones that are best to their wives/families_
Provide the source of reference for your claim.
@@Ruby-G
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "The believers who show the most perfect Faith are those who have the best behaviour, and the best of you are those who are the best to their wives".
[At-Tirmidhi, who categorized it as Hadith Hasan Sahih]
It was narrated from Ibn 'Abbas that:
the Prophet said: "The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives."
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بِشْرٍ، بَكْرُ بْنُ خَلَفٍ وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يَحْيَى قَالاَ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو عَاصِمٍ، عَنْ جَعْفَرِ بْنِ يَحْيَى بْنِ ثَوْبَانَ، عَنْ عَمِّهِ، عُمَارَةَ بْنِ ثَوْبَانَ عَنْ عَطَاءٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ـ صلى الله عليه وسلم ـ قَالَ " خَيْرُكُمْ خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِهِ وَأَنَا خَيْرُكُمْ لأَهْلِي " .
Grade: Hasan (Darussalam)
Reference: Sunan Ibn Majah 1977
In-book reference :Book 9, Hadith 133
English translation: Vol. 3, Book 9, Hadith 1977
May Allah reward you with a true pious husband and bless you greatly my sister. It is unfortunate there are a lot of abuse of women coming from foreign men who claim Islam. They bring cultural behaviors. This is why you must stick closely to the community and examine closely what is being said about them from the family, friends and community. The practice of having a Wali(close family member or respected Imam protector). The Muslim man should be known in the community and practicing. It doesnt matter how what deeds and acts he perform in Islam, its never acceptable and should never be tolerated PERIOD!. This type of abusive, in my understanding, is supposed to be exposed to the woman that he is an abusive man. And no Imam should marry anyone to an abusive man Insha"allah. Thank you for coming out and sharing this and I hope you continue to advocate for our sisters who are being abused and mistreated.
He was a monster to pull her out of the bathroom while she is with her children and choke her, is a horrendous picture to think through. Imagine what she was going through at that exact time, not for herself, but for her little ones.
That's one of the worst types of abuse I've heard from a sister yet. Allahummah bariha that she stayed strong and hopeful that Allah will make a way out for her
May allah swt bless u sister
I really am proud how u put this all togather without disrespecting anyone
Mashallah sister. I am sorry of what you went through. Thankfully, you are out of the marriage and continue to believe in Islam. May Allah continue to protect you. Aamin.
Sister please remove that pfp it isnt allowed and goes against hayah.
May Allah guide us amin.
May Allah bless her and her children for sticking to her religion and speaking about it so correctly ❤
Stopped at 4:50, couldn't listen anymore. May Allah rewards her.
My Muslim sister Allah is watch in shaa Allah u get Justice next life 4 ex husband Allah is justice. In shaa Allah be happy allah watch ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for sharing sister and may Allah bless you in this life further & the next.
Such a truthful account....thank you...
I love how she did'nt follow stereotypes that are wrong and assumed every Muslim is like that.
Alhamdulillah she is steadfast in the Deen and I am so proud of her. Allah will give her better, inshaaAllah & reward her for her steadfastness. This happens so often and not the 1st time that we hear about abusive spouse who are acting "pious". Do not act "pious" and follow the best role model, Rasulullah salallahu alaihi wassalam because he said specifically that the best man is one who is the best to women and his family.
This is an abuse sister....
I am sorry to hear all of these.
Islam is not about abuse...its about peace and compassion.
It's very sad hearing your experience. All trials and tribulations cleanse your sins.
He is broken. Still, there is no excuse for his actions. He will be held accountable.
I pray Allah reward you for all of your hardship and compensate you in this life and the afterlife.
What a strong woman. Good luck and May Allah make your life a beautiful Journey. ❤❤❤
MY wife is a control freak! She is always right! 22 years of marriage 2 children one adult one teenager, I just tolerate for the sake of my children and I'm a dialysis patient with underline health issues. But Alhumdulillah I have a strong will and Tawakkul Allah, we are just passing through this dunnya our destination is Akirah 📿🤲
Lisa may Allah grant you the highest rewards for your sabr, Insyallah❤
Classic Narcissism
They even switch between emotions
You'll see them crying *with tears* & then instantly move to a completely different emotion
man we need the full podcast 🙏
There is a part 1 already out, preceding this 😊
I feel for this sister, it's terrible what she had to go through, may Allah swt give her strength to move past this completely. That being said, not all of our brothers and sons are abusive, the majority of Muslim men are good people
I’m praying for this sister.
She is amazing big heart
Very explicit talk about Marital abuse 👍🏻 In other words, I’d say of course if you’ve had a chance to really know a guy how he is behaving with his family & friends & seen red flags, before you accept his marriage proposal to you & get married to him , please think twice & do an Isthikhara, which will inshaAllah help you direct to either accept or reject this prospect for the best of course, your destination will proceed to with the help sought from Allah swt .
May all those who are finding themselves in such toxic, satanic abuse, help come to a decision to get out of such situations soon . Aameen!
This sister is an angel well educated, with strong iman. How can anyone have problem with her? Her xhusband was a fitnah.
Lmao cause you know everything about her from a half an hour long video right?
@@Altair-El-Haddad how does that make a difference????? Her husband was extremely abusive. Regardless of whether she's "an angel" or not, no human being deserves to go through that. And yes her husband was a monster of a man.
@@tabiakhan9870 you don't know her personally. Also, a Muslim/muslimah shouldn't make judgements or assumptions in the first place, especially if the person who's being slandered isn't present to defend themselves. Secondly, there's 3 sides to every story, his, hers and the truth, so don't blindly trust her or as a matter fact, anyone. You seem very emotional, tone it down and think rationally, it's better.
@@Altair-El-Haddad wow a sympathizer for a violent man. Tell me something, where is the slander here?? If someone has been robbed, would you call them talking about it equal to "slandering the robber?". if someone has been molested would you call their testimony as "slander against the assaulter". By your logic you should do that as well. Tell me what side of the story makes it ok to knock your wife unconscious??? What side or context can you possibly give this testimony to justify the man's actions??? What can the man say to justify such actions?? Nothing, because there is no "justifying" them. She could've done the worst things and yet he cannot beat her up. The only thing he can do is pray to Allah for forgiveness. You sound like an absolute nightmare of a person and I won't respond anymore to you. Get help
@@Altair-El-Haddad having emotions is a sign of having a soft heart. You seem like a psychopath. One without any feelings or even common sense.
Sis...you truly is role model for the living women's and generations to come...May Allah SWT bless you sis...So many insights that u gave towards a human nature..I believe it broaden my wisdom towards understanding people...ofcourse we can never know someone to the full...but yes I will pass this is on to females close to me...Thank You...
May Allah keep strong the deen in a that pleases him and enters you into jannatul firdous
I'm sorry for all this. There are no questions or excuses. It is very important to walk out of this kind of relationship and not wait.
Men or women speak up and speak up. One thing I learned and love about the teachings of Islam is that there is no taboo in Islam. Taboo and hush 🤫 mentality is Culture.
She’s incredibly strong. Good for you to leave and actually using your pain and trauma to help others! 💙
" we are muslims, we r supposed to be better".
You are 100% correct .
I am not being racist or anything close to that but I have had so many caucasian friends married to pakistanis with similar kind of outcome. Too painfull to watch this...I am overwhelmed and have flashbacks watching this. May ALLAH make it easy for you and your offsprings, ameen.
Same with indian men they are narcissistic too.
I am sorry to hear the sad news.
In the furtue May Allah give you blessing and merciful life. InshAllah ❤
So sorry to hear that. He sounds like a Narcissist.
BE STRONG SISTER, ALLAH IS BEST.
True what she said, verbal and emotional abuse is worse. Financial abuse as well. All to do with control. Thank God I'm divorced now, but I left it too late. It has affected my kids' mental health. I totally agree with her we women should respect ourselves and have self worth. She is so brave to stand up against wrong.
May Allah SWT make the rest of your life better and I ask Allah SWT to protect you and your kids. I can tell how strong woman you are. Patient and believer.
I don’t think it’s any excuse to abuse other people because you were victim of abuse. That makes no sense to me.
God bless you, you are a beautiful soul and this was a test from Allah❤❤
I hope I never ever become that.
Our Prophet said: (خيركم، خيركم لأهله)
"The best among you, is the best towards their own family"
May Allah heal you my dear sister and replace that man with a better husband and May Allah guide us all 🤲
What a brave amazing woman. Be sure that Allah will reward you.
May Allah make your life easy and bless you in this world and the hereafter. Amin!
May Allah reward her for all she suffered....
As muslim, i can't imagine, let alone understand how a "brother" can be this ignorant.
I'm so sorry to hear your story. I totally understand and relate to your story. May Allah have mercy on you, and give you strength, and bless you with the best. Seems like that person has a mental health issue, and needs help. Nonetheless, he's responsible for his actions. All the very best!
This is a great video for all men.
Ya Allah!!! May Allah punish him for what he has put this sister through!
Ameen. He need to be held accountable.
Do not ever put up with abuse of any kind period. It is never going to change, do not ruin your life. Leaving is always the solution.
20:28
"Abusers are very good at hiding who they are, and they don't put out their full selves until they have control over you" 😢
That's not what Quran 20:28 says. It says:
Sahih International: That they may understand my speech.
@@Ruby-G I gave the reference from video😑😑
@@youtubeuser9168 I see. When they got married, he became her "maintainer" or "in charge" of her, he was actually following Allah's command in Quran 4:34 to beat wife for suspicion or fear of disobedience/desertion. She should've researched on Islam before converting and marrying a Muslim man. She's still ignorant of Islam.
@@Ruby-G @Ruby aisha (ra) explicitly said that the prophet never hit anyone not a woman not a servant
The prophet also said :
"None hits except the worst amongst you"
And also :Do not strike the female servants of God” and “Do not hit them and do not revile them"
And scholars unanimously agreed that "beating" here in this verse is غير مبرح
And غير مولم
Meaning that which is not painful or does not cause injury
That is why scholars said that it can only be done with a toothbrush or handkerchief or things like that
Thus It is symbolic and it is to be done only when there is hope it might bring reconciliation
And also the prophet said that this is when the wife does something clearly lewd or obscene فاحشة مبينة
@@abdullahjabir5506 Actually, Muhammad hit Aisha on her chest with his hand that caused her pain for disobedience(Sahih Muslim 4:2127). You need to provide the source of reference to back up your claims or you're lying.