Regarding that "deeper" question about when someone was in Spain and just knew they'd made the right choice on traveling there... Yeah. If someone asked me a question like that, I'd be looking for someone else to talk to! That's a weird question. I wouldn't even know how to answer it! I'm an Okie. We talk to everyone. But we don't ask weird questions like that. Yes, we dig a little deeper, which is great advice. But don't be searching that hard for a good question. I would ask what made them choose Spain, or if they got to do all the things they hoped to do while there, or whether they took the kids (or spouse) with them. A comment on my own side, like how I never thought of visiting Spain, is important, too. That shows that I have applied their conversation in my own world in some way (which means I really am listening to what they say), without taking too much time to add my own "stuff." Most of my life, if I planned an event, I always invited my mom. She could strike up the best conversations with people and made them feel heard. I'm really glad I listened, because I love learning things from previous generations, and they love talking about their lives. I also like to make the newcomer relaxed in the unknown atmosphere of a event they've never attended before, even if I've never been to that event, either.
When you're in rapport with someone, you can ask a wide range of questions that might sound weird if you're not participating in the conversation and the participants won't think it's weird. I've even tried breaking rapport by saying things to people that mismatch what they're saying and watched how they rearranged what they originally said to find common ground in order to stay in rapport.
Fantastic advice! The only thing I would also suggest is to pay attention to the tone or mood of your follow-up questions. For example, if you want the conversation to take a positive direction ask "Is Spanish food as good as they say?" and not "Those long distance flights suck, don't they?" Keep asking questions that will likely generate positive emotions in the person and they will associate those positive emotions with you. PS: As a highly introverted person I had to manually learn social skills that other people develop naturally, so you're not alone in your struggles! Your advice is valued. EDIT: Busy watching your next video and you address this exact issue!
wow, this is great - not only of the info good, by good i mean useful, pragmatic and growth, but its super well edited and most importantly, super digestible. this is how i wish more content creators would be like edit, yeah i read this and realized my grammatical errors
@DamonCart Hi sir, i have a question what should i do, in order to speak more clearly like sometimes I just stop and can’t say anything just looking at the person, i can’t express my thoughts well, and sometimes the things i say are coming out of my mouth unclearly?
You can use various NLP techniques like Mapping Across so you're in a more resourceful state when you're talking. It also takes practice. Nothing can substitute for practice.
Interesting that you're targeting decision-making, which could prime confidence in their decision making in general - as in a sales conversation (or mate selection) context. 😅
![Gucci Mane & Sexyy Red - You Don't Love Me [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/j7IBqyFKT4c/mqdefault.jpg)
Great video, Damon! I really enjoyed It as it felt very engaging, easy to watch, and full of golden nuggets of information. Thank you!
Thank you. Glad you liked it.
Regarding that "deeper" question about when someone was in Spain and just knew they'd made the right choice on traveling there... Yeah. If someone asked me a question like that, I'd be looking for someone else to talk to! That's a weird question. I wouldn't even know how to answer it!
I'm an Okie. We talk to everyone. But we don't ask weird questions like that. Yes, we dig a little deeper, which is great advice. But don't be searching that hard for a good question. I would ask what made them choose Spain, or if they got to do all the things they hoped to do while there, or whether they took the kids (or spouse) with them. A comment on my own side, like how I never thought of visiting Spain, is important, too. That shows that I have applied their conversation in my own world in some way (which means I really am listening to what they say), without taking too much time to add my own "stuff."
Most of my life, if I planned an event, I always invited my mom. She could strike up the best conversations with people and made them feel heard. I'm really glad I listened, because I love learning things from previous generations, and they love talking about their lives. I also like to make the newcomer relaxed in the unknown atmosphere of a event they've never attended before, even if I've never been to that event, either.
When you're in rapport with someone, you can ask a wide range of questions that might sound weird if you're not participating in the conversation and the participants won't think it's weird. I've even tried breaking rapport by saying things to people that mismatch what they're saying and watched how they rearranged what they originally said to find common ground in order to stay in rapport.
Fantastic advice! The only thing I would also suggest is to pay attention to the tone or mood of your follow-up questions. For example, if you want the conversation to take a positive direction ask "Is Spanish food as good as they say?" and not "Those long distance flights suck, don't they?" Keep asking questions that will likely generate positive emotions in the person and they will associate those positive emotions with you.
PS: As a highly introverted person I had to manually learn social skills that other people develop naturally, so you're not alone in your struggles! Your advice is valued.
EDIT: Busy watching your next video and you address this exact issue!
Appreciate the thoughtful comment.
wow, this is great - not only of the info good, by good i mean useful, pragmatic and growth, but its super well edited and most importantly, super digestible.
this is how i wish more content creators would be like edit, yeah i read this and realized my grammatical errors
Thank you. Glad you liked it.
WOW! Love this new style - fab video with great, relatable and easy to understand info ~ Thanks! 👏🏼💯🙌🏼
Thank you! My pleasure.
Wow. This video was amazingly edited (I think one of the best ones)
Thank you. I would like to take credit for the editing. I've edited most of my videos, but this one was done by my editor.
How would you describe that feeling?
@DamonCart Hi sir, i have a question what should i do, in order to speak more clearly like sometimes I just stop and can’t say anything just looking at the person, i can’t express my thoughts well, and sometimes the things i say are coming out of my mouth unclearly?
You can use various NLP techniques like Mapping Across so you're in a more resourceful state when you're talking. It also takes practice. Nothing can substitute for practice.
@@DamonCart sorry for asking too many questions, can you suggest an nlp book that only talks about the techniques used for communication ?
@@haryadhersh9511 Sleight of Mouth is good.
Any sales people here?
The painting behind you is cover for Steve Andreas Transforming Your Self. What is it called?
It's actually a statue in Boulder, CO where Steve Andreas lived. It's called Self-Made Man.
Very true from personal experience
Interesting that you're targeting decision-making, which could prime confidence in their decision making in general - as in a sales conversation (or mate selection) context. 😅
Great content and… that background music tho… :) (constructive, constructive) :)
Thank you.
I think we used 5 different songs in this video. Which one did you not like?
Lemme guess...
Whats your name?
What are you passionate about?
What do you like about that?
Nope
step 1: start a conversation
aaaand ya lost me
Where exactly did you get lost?