I think they had a budget in the sense of "we won't spend more than X," but the problem was they didn't have X dollars. They thought they had a plan to get X dollars by the wedding day, the plan fell through, and they shrugged and said "I guess we'll borrow it."
@@Mr_GabblesI cringed at the idea of spending $1k for a venue. It blows my mind how much people spend on weddings. Where I live, most people have the reception at the church for free, and decorate it themselves. Those were the only types of receptions I'd seen until my brother and SIL got married, and I thought they were being fancy. They were being cheap according to people on the Internet.
$27k was our total expense, including dress, wedding bands, engagement ring, catered food, cake, photographer venue (botanical gardens), dj, transportation, pictures, alcohol, bartenders, decorations, lights, day of event coordinator who also did setup because we only got the venue for specific hours and needed someone to setup while we were at our church. We even had a small catered lunch for the wedding party. I cannot imagine going an additional $32k, like what the heck did this wedding include
When my hubs and I got married we started looking into venues for just 50 ppl. Total for dress, rings, wedding etc was coming to $25k. I couldn’t wrap my mind around that amount. We decided to pay cash for everything and get married in Alaska on a glacier. Total cost $10k. I still do not regret not having an expensive wedding. Best decision we ever made
Thank you guys for all your input and advice, it’s nice to talk to other people who feel very strongly about financial discipline. We really appreciate it. So far our budget is around 18 grand. However, I am looking for a higher paying job, and we are also going to do a stag and doe to help raise money. If all goes well, we may be able to get that number up to 25 grand. That way, we might still have a somewhat dreamy wedding while staying on track. Maybe the couple in this clip would’ve thought to do something similar if debt was not an option in the back of their mind. “Baby step two” my foot.🦶
Our wedding in 2012 was in a park. The venue was only $500 because we had it from 12:00-6:00 on a Sunday. We had about 40 guests. So glad we started our marriage that way.
12 years ago my husband and I got married in the court house and that's it. Happily married still, completely debt free, he retired at 56 years old and I am 47 years old still enjoy my job but will join him in his retirement very soon. Life is good. People please don't make dumb decision, you are making other people richer but yourself.
Weddings are a process to marriage. The cheaper you can do it the more you can invest in the marriage. We need to go back to the woman’s family pays and if not them then her. Watch the expectation drop. The debt of the wedding should reside with her. If they want a traditional wedding then let’s go back to tradition. If she is prudent - courthouse wedding
@@wakinglife7065 Our daughter and fiance were going to pay for theirs when we heard them planning and I said..whoa.. hold that horse. We are covering the wedding, then worked with them on all of it. Yes we spent a small fortune ( more than this caller ) but had no problem doing so. Wrote a check and done. But if you cannot do that, then elope and have a party afterwards if you must. But do so on a planned budget. Do not start a marriage with debt. Your chances of staying together forever will be much greater.
@@wakinglife7065 Having a big, elaborate wedding is just for a show to impress their friends and family, knowing they couldn't afford it. They should've just gone to the Justice of the Peace, pay $45.00 for the marriage license, say their vows and got married. The marriage would still be honorable before God! Spending $32,000 or more for a wedding is waste of money, especially if you can't afford it.
My niece and nephew-in-law married in a state park located on the shoreline of a magnificent mountan lake. The setting was spectacular. They rented a large grassy area with an enormous covered shelter and restrooms, as well as camping spaces for friends and family who wanted to camp and make a weekend of the occasion. It was a bring-your-dog wedding. The event was casual, with catered gourmet food. They paid for everything themselves and spent a very modest amount of money. They are financially savvy and frugal, and -- at age 37 -- have impressive stock and rental-property portfolios. It was one of the most enjoyable weddings I've ever attended.
How romantic! Did the captain marry you? I know once upon a time they were able to do that, but I don't know if that applies today. So, you basically got married on your honeymoon and killed two birds with one stone. Nice.
@esterdrass4964 It was a legal ceremony, so the captain did not marry us. We applief for a Florida marriage license beforehand. A lady and her assistant from the marriage bureau had visitor passes for the ship and married us in the harbor about 3 pm before the ship left at 5 pm. All the other passengers were in T-Shirts and shorts and we were in our wedding attire, it was so fun!
@gtolose A wedding without guests is still a wedding 😉 We had an amazing time, no family stress, beautiful pictures, a great honeymoon cruise and we're still married almost 19 years later! I call that a success!
She starts off talking about the loan for the wedding, but the real debt, as the call reveals is $90,000 - so the wedding is not the only problem. The problem is that they are living way beyond their means. To pay that for a wedding when already in debt is outrageous. And, on top of it, she's laughing about it. She needs to stop saying, "I think," and start KNOWING what they owe and what amounts are.
I mean it depends, $90k of debt isn't undoable in my world. I had $100k of debt and it only cost me from going out to eat every day to twice per week. Granted if I had to stop retirement contributions I could probably pay $6000/mo towards debt after paying for necessities and that is before considering working overtime.
Granted when I started this journey the debt load was a struggle, but then my shovel exponentially grew to the point, the debt was no longer a problem.
Good Lord let's all stop dancing around the 300 pound gorilla in the middle of the room! This girl and yes THIS GIRL not a women is so damn immature she has no business getting marriage in the first place. She lives in a fantasy world. I give this marriage 5 to 7 years TOPS!
I hope the guests had an uber amazing wedding experience. They get to have the luxurious memories and the this couple will carry the burden of debt. It really messes up everything when you try so hard to impress other people.
We had a ceremony, a reception at the in-laws with food made by parents, and a dance with free beer. It cost WAY under $1000. We've been married 42 years. You don't need a big expensive wedding.
Here in Washington the wedding license is only about 60.00 dollars. The judge gladly does wedding ceremonies on his lunch break. We exchanged silicone rings but my wife also made some beautiful stainless rings,as she makes jewelry. The judge had beautiful vows. I could only whisper mine because I started sobbing,then we couldn't stop laughing. It was awesome. We are paying triple the mortgage payment with every spare dollar now . Get outta debt! Don't borrow another dime from any loan sharks! And remember,they are all loan sharks!!!!
It seriously is. My buddy loaned a mutual friend money just so he could buy an engagement ring worth 3x times his monthly salary. The utter disbelief and disappointment doesn't begin to describe my position.
Exactly! Weddings use to be so simple. Have it at the church or in someone’s back yard with cake and punch. I know it was a long time ago, but we need to get back to simpler times. Now everyone is just trying to keep up with everyone else.
Yeah, when it's standard for the girl to care and the guy not caring about the wedding but downsizing is basically her choice. Very unlikely he's pushing to not reduce the spending
People are ridiculous with weddings, but there's always been a lot of pressure to have 'the event' that everyone thinks you should have. We couldn't afford that, even in 1994 when we got married, so we had a mid-afternoon church wedding, reception in the church hall, hors d'oeuvres for food instead of a meal since it was mid-afternoon, and many many DIY decorations and friend/family contributions of things like vocal music, serving, cleanup, etc. From engagement ring to honeymoon and everything in between (photos, dress, tux, etc) was about $5,000, all paid cash by us over the 9 months of our engagement. That's about $10k in today's money. It was a lovely wedding, with lovely memories and no financial regrets. I can't even fathom spending 3x that amount and putting it on credit. 29 years later, still no debt except a house (which we will have paid off in a couple of years) and we have paid for one kid's college and are in the middle of the second one, no student loans for either. Begin as you mean to go on. It's worked for us because we are on the same page. We're a team.
Got married in the Bronx we live in the hood, weeding reception in my apartment we cooked our own food had a great time, most I spent was $400 dollars for groceries. No one complained.
When I’ve gone to weddings like that I find it cringeworthy. If someone’s spending way more than they can on a wedding it’s a way of saying to the world “we care so much about what other think and this trickles into all elements of our lives”. Frankly it’s embarrassing
I totally agree. What's totally disturbing about the caller is she keeps laughing like it's a no big deal situation. If DR handled this call it would have been way different.
So you would like to look back and regret the wedding you had? "man i wish we wouldve done this or man i really wanted this..." the one thing you get to do once in your life and you do it half assed? This is a bad take
@@AmeriiKK I think it'd be better to spend way less on the wedding and decide to start saving their emergency fund or saving for furniture or something. Yes, the wedding is a big day, but it's just one day. You shouldn't have to continue paying for it MONTHS down the road.
Wedding license: $75 Judge at the courthouse fee: $75 done on her lunch break. The "fee" she didn't keep- she asked we donate money to the low income legal aid fund and bring receipt. Reception: potluck dinner at our place Total cost: About $1000. If that. Mainly for the cake at the "reception" we had, flowers for the wedding, license and donation to legal aid fund, and printing out some photos we had a law clerk take for us using a digital camera I brought.
got married during covid in Maui for under $6k. that included flights, 7 days at the resort, wedding planner, permits, makeup, photography and musician for 4 people. My family flew out but they paid their way.
In what year did this happen? Im trying to plan a destination wedding for $5k and struggling. And Im definitely not the type that needs all the expensive details.
I kept my wedding under $10k. We didnt use any loans or credit cars. Just paid cash and had help from family. We DIY a lot of it and went cheap on the venue by getting married on a week day and ordered catering from a non expensive restaurant.
I think you guys are mixing up rich people divorces like you see on TV, with real life divorces like this caller…sounds like they are more likely to have negative net worth and will both get debt in the divorce.
@@TonyCox1351until they start having kids. And you’re discounting there was a DECISION PROCESS that led to this situation. Most likely, u less that changes, the situation wont
The cars aren’t the problem 16 each isn’t terrible. It’s the rest of how they’re living! They have to work and hope nothing bad happens to keep that up
Husband and I got married in 2017 for under $10k. 100 guests, had a wonderful time… but it was only one day! We both liked our wedding but also say if we were to do it again we’d consider eloping.
How do you go $32k over budget, and you go back home to your RENTED domicile, and are immediately convinced your marriage will last forever? Do people who spend car money on weddings ever cry themselves to sleep wondering if a divorce happens its a pile of $100 bills that just went up in flames?
It's simple the husband is a simp and didn't say let's keep it basic. So we can put that money into buying a house. They were already 58 grand in debt and added 32 grand more. The number 1 reason for divorce is financial stress.
For most people, the wedding seems so important but outside of the actual marriage ceremony, all it is is a big party. Too many brides think the day is all about them - they are clueless that it's actually a day of work as the hostess of a big party. If they got it in perspective, their futures would be much better financially.
The big red flag is her tee-heeing and giggling through the call. This poor schmuck who married her is in for a ride... The Ramsey-Simps immediately blame him, but we know that he didn't spend 30k on a wedding, she did.
We had our ceremony in the morning. Then had a BBQ for friends and family in the afternoon in my parents’ backyard. Our total bill including my dress (which was actually being sold as a homecoming gown -but certainly looked like a wedding dress), food, drinks, decorations was $1500. Had a blast .. 18 years later and no regrets. It’s just a day to celebrate with people close to you. it’s not a competition.
@@slscamglmao yeah pot luck? I wouldn’t throw a superbowl party without supplying food, much less a wedding. It’s ok to spend a couple thousand on a wedding. It’s fun memories, just like it’s ok to spend a couple thousand on a vacation. It just has to be IN BUDGET. If you don’t have the money saved, then a nice wedding ain’t for you.
Neither of them are on the same page . They think the problem was that they rented a house . Nothing that she’s shared suggests they were going to save 32k if they’d not rented the house . They only had 3k in savings even after however long they were living there . The future doesn’t look good for these folks and my guess is they need more pain before they are actually both on board .
We spent about $10k for ours no debt 12 years ago. Limited size to 100 guest was as nice as some i know that were way more. Limiting size is a good way to save on the price.
Overspending money you don’t have on a WEDDING is a poor person move-It’s a really low class thing to do. These people are idiots…& something tells me Kendra doesn’t really care all that much even though she says she does 😂
One of my housemates had a wedding for around $500 because they didn't have a lot of money. She bought her wedding dress from JC Penney for $300. I altered the dress for her for free. She bought silk flowers and made her own arrangements. She had the wedding at her church. And the reception was a potluck. It was very nice.
Mine was $1000 and I don’t regret it. We used the money that could have paid for a wedding as a down payment on a house. It was 185k and it’s now worth 330k…best decision we ever made. 😊
I mean... we cannot expect everyone to live with the same exact values. At least three of my coworker/friends have had 200k+ weddings (two of which Indian weddings and another Chinese-American). They are also well off (but working-class) millionaires in their late 30s. I don't think anyone should ever borrow money to have a wedding, but people should absolutely spend extravagantly (within their means) on the things they care for while being frugal on other things. If a wedding means so much, spend!!! For you (and me as well), who value weddings less, I'm sure you've spend extravagantly on other things that others may not necessarily have understood (I know I have).
@@UtotheJ Sounds like they had a lot of help from their parents. My wife and I had 0 help from family and had $150k in student loans to pay off. I somehow doubt that these couples who spent $200k on their wedding were in a similar position
Over my life I've had some cheap, old, boring but reliable cars and no car debt. I still managed to get everywhere I needed to go. The number of times I see people doing a video in the car complaining about not being able to afford groceries or gas and the car looks brand new and I wonder if they are paying a car loan and if they couldn't have economized.
We eat a lot of rice and beans, literally. From the food bank. Not because we go there, because the people who use the food bank won't take the beans and rice. Actually can it on the way out the door. Unbelievable but true.
People should learn the importance of getting married without debts. Because marriage after the honeymoon is challenging the phase of adaptation and so on. I am a christian, I live by faith and my church always teaches about Intelligent Faith. Be wise with your finances, marriage and wedding are 2 different things. Sacrifice for the marriage and do what you can afford for the wedding.
Spent literally less than $500 on my wedding and the marriage lasted over 15 years. Seen many other spend about that much and last even longer. Also seen people spend over 100k and they are divorced two years later.
It's Colorado, A common Law State. Live under the same roof, Hold yourselves out as being married, And no reason you could not be married. On a nice Spring Day, you stand in the town square and introduce yourselves as Husband and Wife to your community.
It took me 4 years to pay off my 35k student loan, and I’m making 6 figures. They spent just as much over a day on personal loan? I assume with todays 8-9% interest rate?
Even with 7K for the venue, I’m not sure how they went over budget so much. Wouldn’t the venue cost be in the budget? Wouldn’t you call around first and get an idea of how much to budget for a venue??
I admit it is 7 years ago so would probably be more now, but our wedding with 70 guests, rented venue, photographer, band and catering and hotel night for us after was 7000€. I don't feel we compromised on anything so I can't imagine going 32k OVER!
Thank Jesus my wife and I eloped. Paid 100 for the officiant. The money ended up going to a down payment toward our house and a week vacation in Paris.
I think my wife and I spent 2-3k on our wedding and did a camping road trip for our honey moon. We celebrate our 20th anniversary next year and can afford to do something fancy for that now.
We paid about the same. The church honorarium was modest, the food for the reception was donated by friends and served by teenagers from the coffeehouse ministry. Our reception was in a friend's massive backyard, the tables and chairs were paid for by family. My husband planned our honeymoon in a condo on Catalina Island: four weekdays cost us around $1,200 including food and sightseeing. We will be twenty years next year; we have always spent modestly and save as much as we can. 😊
Thirty year anniversary next spring. We paid cash for our wedding in Vegas and reception at our home town. I always regretted a little not buying a wedding dress (probably could have found one for $100 ). This woman spent impulsively and now regrets it.
I love when they say “we” but in my experience it’s always the bride that went over budget. I don’t know any guy that gives a shit to spend more money on the wedding lol
Wedding Planner here 🙋♀️....30-40k is NOT unreasonable for a wedding nowadays with good vendors! Now whether or not you can afford it is a different story!
@natut01 I don't doubt it but that's crazy to me. I see those wedding dress shows and my jaw drops at how much dresses alone cost! My entire wedding only cost $5k all in (granted it was back in 2011) but that was everything including dress, rings, etc...
We weren't willing to compromise...ya ok...she was not willing. Great start to marriage and says everything about who you are starting a life with. Good luck.
I didn’t get the actual numbers but from my understanding it sounded like they only had about 3000 saved for this wedding. If they were living with family with no rent how come that’s all they could save up for
She was very cagey about that detail. Again, something tells me she was the one who wouldn’t compromise. I also wouldn’t doubt if she was behind the house rental.
@@cyoohoos I felt like saying this in the comment, but I didn’t, but I believe she’s one of those little princesses that stomped her little feet around till she got exactly what she wanted and if that is the case, this guy needs to run for the border because she’s gonna do that throughout their entire marriage when she feels justified in wanting what she won’t when she’s not getting it he’s in for a bad marriage if this is the case
I don’t think they were staying with the parents for long. Sounds like they couldn’t get along, so they moved out quickly and rented a house. Which is silly. They could have rented an efficiency apartment until after the wedding.
I'm 99.99% sure their family/relatives/friends pressured them into spending more, and they gave in like "What the heck, this only happens once in a lifetime anyway!"
The fact that most of those callers are laughing and giggling while talking about their debts is telling me that they don’t take this seriously at all… they still think it’s cute to overspend… like: oooops, haha, we are SO BAD with money… isn’t this quaint…
My wedding cost my mom a fortune. My divorce last year cost me 500k. I’ll never get married again, but I will encourage my kids to get married in the park or have a potluck reception at their church.
We spent $7000AU (so more like $4k for USD) and had around 40guests. Food cost the most, everything else was on the cheap and family helped with set up and clean up. Hired the church hall and the church fee, it was all we needed. YOLO weddings are for the celebrities who are brand ambassadors as far as I’m concerned
"We weren't willing to compromise." Okay, so it's a done deal, and it's assumed you are happy with the wedding of your dreams. So, *why* are you calling??
It is good they are learning now their costly mistake and not 5 years later. They will learn and hopefully if they follow Dave Ramsey’s method they will have extra $ in their bank accts and no debt. Good luck to them.
We had over 200 people at our wedding, we had plenty of food and an open bar and an incredible dj and it was 15 grand out the door.... it was a church wedding and the reception was in an airplane hanger with vintage aircraft (we rented it for super cheap from a little local airplane museum). They let us bring in our own booze from costco so we got 500 worth of liquor and juice and a friend worked the bar for tips (beer out in ice buckets and wine on the table). The food was catered bbq. I bought a clearance dress and we printed cheap invitations at ups. (Seriously, people throw those out) My in laws made and donated simple lovely centerpieces and 4 giant salads to the food table. Girl on Facebook made me this adorable little cake and a bunch of cupcakes. Plates cupsv the fancy plastic from sams. I got cafeteria cutlery online for a steal. Most expensive thing was the dj who also did lighting and decorations. We had enough space in that hanger for everything and on the far side, away from all the noise and dance floor closer to the bathrooms, there was an empty display case they let us set up a little self serve coffee bar. So we got some comfy armchairs for way cheap off marketplace and from friends houses and spent about 150 bucks making a little hangout area for anyone who needed a break from the party. I still get complimented on how fun and easy or wedding was. It was also a winter wedding in ALASKA so the family that came up from the south were blown away by all the natural beauty during the day. It was really fun and we stayed well within budget. It can be done people, you just gotta think outside the box!
In my culture the guests gift you money. The thump of rule is pay for at least your seat and close relatives usually do a bit more. You keep track of it too, so when you’re invited back you know what to gift back. Many in my culture go overboard on weddings (like 50k+) and are still in debt even with the moneygifts. My husband and I did it as simple as we could. We spend 20k and made a 2k profit off our wedding 🤷🏻♀️
The state with the lowest average wedding cost is Kansas at $16k according to Knot. So, either this video attracted the smart and thrifty wedding planners or people are not being honest about how cheap their weddings were. I don’t judge people either way but math ain’t mathing.
I thought we were irresponsible paying 13k for ours (5k from parents and 8k of our own cash) just because we had debt that needed to be paid. But going 32k into additional debt for the wedding! I don’t think I could’ve enjoyed myself at my wedding if I knew I had done that. 😮💨
My fiance and I are planning our wedding. Our budget is 3k or under. We live in a rural area and a lot of "wedding venues" are 4-8k on the low end for a Saturday. Range is 2-20k. We had a Friday booked for 2200 with rentals and decor, we canceled it, halved the guest list and am using a friend's property.
$7500 for the venue sounds, to me, only slightly above average especially if the venue provides tables, chairs, has a kitchen for the caterer, etc. plus all the staff for setup/teardown.
Weddings are just parties. The marriage begins the day after. You have memories and photos but honestly, if you elope and or have a simple garden party with nice tables and lights and a BBQ would be just as nice. I just don't get this fantasy about weddings.
We had a Karoake Wedding at a Beer Brewery for under $1000!!! Good time!!!🎉🎉🎉
That sounds amazing!
We spent $3000 all in on our park wedding. Some coworkers donated thier time and some meat for the reception. We tried to keep things low cost.
I bet she wishes she had done the same and still had the other $29k in her pocket.
There is No Way to accidentally go 32k Over Budget for a wedding. Clearly there was no actual budget.
Well said
Me and my fiancé are coming in under 15k with good food, booze, and 250 guests lol not sure how they managed this
Right over budget is like 5k.
I think they had a budget in the sense of "we won't spend more than X," but the problem was they didn't have X dollars. They thought they had a plan to get X dollars by the wedding day, the plan fell through, and they shrugged and said "I guess we'll borrow it."
@@Mr_GabblesI cringed at the idea of spending $1k for a venue. It blows my mind how much people spend on weddings. Where I live, most people have the reception at the church for free, and decorate it themselves. Those were the only types of receptions I'd seen until my brother and SIL got married, and I thought they were being fancy. They were being cheap according to people on the Internet.
Had a wedding at our friends backyard, with 30 guests. Kept it under $6000 🎉
Spent 65k. Best wedding ever
@@Tunechi65Cash?
$6000 for a backyard wedding seems a lot, though?!
@@letstalkaboutgermany8288 I bet the food was fire af
My fiancé and I are planning our wedding for next year. I can’t even imagine even HAVING a budget of 32 grand, let alone going OVER by that much.
$27k was our total expense, including dress, wedding bands, engagement ring, catered food, cake, photographer venue (botanical gardens), dj, transportation, pictures, alcohol, bartenders, decorations, lights, day of event coordinator who also did setup because we only got the venue for specific hours and needed someone to setup while we were at our church. We even had a small catered lunch for the wedding party. I cannot imagine going an additional $32k, like what the heck did this wedding include
When my hubs and I got married we started looking into venues for just 50 ppl. Total for dress, rings, wedding etc was coming to $25k. I couldn’t wrap my mind around that amount. We decided to pay cash for everything and get married in Alaska on a glacier. Total cost $10k. I still do not regret not having an expensive wedding. Best decision we ever made
@@thedude5040 Dang, how much do you guys to be having a weddig budget of 27 grand? Seems excessive
@@leonardu6094 $190k
Thank you guys for all your input and advice, it’s nice to talk to other people who feel very strongly about financial discipline. We really appreciate it.
So far our budget is around 18 grand. However, I am looking for a higher paying job, and we are also going to do a stag and doe to help raise money. If all goes well, we may be able to get that number up to 25 grand. That way, we might still have a somewhat dreamy wedding while staying on track.
Maybe the couple in this clip would’ve thought to do something similar if debt was not an option in the back of their mind. “Baby step two” my foot.🦶
The first thing I’m thinking, if you can’t afford a house yet, you have no business paying for an expensive wedding
Our wedding in 2012 was in a park. The venue was only $500 because we had it from 12:00-6:00 on a Sunday. We had about 40 guests. So glad we started our marriage that way.
12 years ago my husband and I got married in the court house and that's it. Happily married still, completely debt free, he retired at 56 years old and I am 47 years old still enjoy my job but will join him in his retirement very soon. Life is good. People please don't make dumb decision, you are making other people richer but yourself.
The problem is most people don't want a marriage, they want a wedding. If you can't do if for $3k, it's not about a marriage...
Weddings are a process to marriage. The cheaper you can do it the more you can invest in the marriage. We need to go back to the woman’s family pays and if not them then her. Watch the expectation drop. The debt of the wedding should reside with her. If they want a traditional wedding then let’s go back to tradition. If she is prudent - courthouse wedding
@@wakinglife7065 Our daughter and fiance were going to pay for theirs when we heard them planning and I said..whoa.. hold that horse. We are covering the wedding, then worked with them on all of it. Yes we spent a small fortune ( more than this caller ) but had no problem doing so. Wrote a check and done. But if you cannot do that, then elope and have a party afterwards if you must. But do so on a planned budget. Do not start a marriage with debt. Your chances of staying together forever will be much greater.
Yep the husband will be calling dr John about a sexless marriage in a few years
@@wakinglife7065 Having a big, elaborate wedding is just for a show to impress their friends and family, knowing they couldn't afford it. They should've just gone to the Justice of the Peace, pay $45.00 for the marriage license, say their vows and got married. The marriage would still be honorable before God! Spending $32,000 or more for a wedding is waste of money, especially if you can't afford it.
People or women
My niece and nephew-in-law married in a state park located on the shoreline of a magnificent mountan lake. The setting was spectacular. They rented a large grassy area with an enormous covered shelter and restrooms, as well as camping spaces for friends and family who wanted to camp and make a weekend of the occasion. It was a bring-your-dog wedding. The event was casual, with catered gourmet food. They paid for everything themselves and spent a very modest amount of money. They are financially savvy and frugal, and -- at age 37 -- have impressive stock and rental-property portfolios. It was one of the most enjoyable weddings I've ever attended.
My husband and I got married on a Royal Caribbean cruiseship in Miami and had no guests . It was wonderful and relaxing and affordable 🎉❤
How romantic! Did the captain marry you? I know once upon a time they were able to do that, but I don't know if that applies today. So, you basically got married on your honeymoon and killed two birds with one stone. Nice.
@esterdrass4964 It was a legal ceremony, so the captain did not marry us. We applief for a Florida marriage license beforehand. A lady and her assistant from the marriage bureau had visitor passes for the ship and married us in the harbor about 3 pm before the ship left at 5 pm. All the other passengers were in T-Shirts and shorts and we were in our wedding attire, it was so fun!
Not really a wedding though was it!
@@gtolosewho tf cares?
@gtolose A wedding without guests is still a wedding 😉 We had an amazing time, no family stress, beautiful pictures, a great honeymoon cruise and we're still married almost 19 years later! I call that a success!
She starts off talking about the loan for the wedding, but the real debt, as the call reveals is $90,000 - so the wedding is not the only problem. The problem is that they are living way beyond their means. To pay that for a wedding when already in debt is outrageous. And, on top of it, she's laughing about it. She needs to stop saying, "I think," and start KNOWING what they owe and what amounts are.
I mean it depends, $90k of debt isn't undoable in my world. I had $100k of debt and it only cost me from going out to eat every day to twice per week. Granted if I had to stop retirement contributions I could probably pay $6000/mo towards debt after paying for necessities and that is before considering working overtime.
Granted when I started this journey the debt load was a struggle, but then my shovel exponentially grew to the point, the debt was no longer a problem.
Good Lord let's all stop dancing around the 300 pound gorilla in the middle of the room! This girl and yes THIS GIRL not a women is so damn immature she has no business getting marriage in the first place. She lives in a fantasy world. I give this marriage 5 to 7 years TOPS!
I hope the guests had an uber amazing wedding experience. They get to have the luxurious memories and the this couple will carry the burden of debt. It really messes up everything when you try so hard to impress other people.
Our wedding was literally fifty bucks....been married 32 years.
No one made the couple spend so much money.
We had a ceremony, a reception at the in-laws with food made by parents, and a dance with free beer. It cost WAY under $1000. We've been married 42 years. You don't need a big expensive wedding.
@@ginab.4605 who said it like that?
@@jimroscovius well, starting a married life as broke couple reduces the odds of staying together i suppose.
I have never understood expensive weddings unless you are the Princess of Monaco. It's absolutely stupid IMHO. It's insane.
As the Princess of Monaco, I approve this message.
@@woodside4lifeI was there. It was beautiful.
Here in Washington the wedding license is only about 60.00 dollars.
The judge gladly does wedding ceremonies on his lunch break.
We exchanged silicone rings but my wife also made some beautiful stainless rings,as she makes jewelry.
The judge had beautiful vows.
I could only whisper mine because I started sobbing,then we couldn't stop laughing.
It was awesome.
We are paying triple the mortgage payment with every spare dollar now .
Get outta debt! Don't borrow another dime from any loan sharks! And remember,they are all loan sharks!!!!
I wish you well and keep going! nothing's more empowering than having to OWN everything you have.
Well preached.
👏
That's awesome!!
such a beautiful imagery of your wedding day. Thank you for sharing it. The real richness of life.
Congratulations newlyweds.
You must be the loan officer responsible for their $32k wedding debt.
Weddings are a money black hole. It’s really easy to spend way too much, but please please please don’t pay for it with debt. It’s not worth it!
It seriously is. My buddy loaned a mutual friend money just so he could buy an engagement ring worth 3x times his monthly salary. The utter disbelief and disappointment doesn't begin to describe my position.
Exactly! Weddings use to be so simple. Have it at the church or in someone’s back yard with cake and punch. I know it was a long time ago, but we need to get back to simpler times. Now everyone is just trying to keep up with everyone else.
@@fortunateson2holy cow. My wedding ring cost $10 and I loved it!
We spent 3k$ total for our wedding, still married and in love
Common sense always prevails
$1500 and my wife are still going strong 33 years later.
“We weren’t willing to compromise” = I wasn’t willing to compromise
Yeah, when it's standard for the girl to care and the guy not caring about the wedding but downsizing is basically her choice. Very unlikely he's pushing to not reduce the spending
😂 that’s my reaction. Princess needed her special day
People are ridiculous with weddings, but there's always been a lot of pressure to have 'the event' that everyone thinks you should have. We couldn't afford that, even in 1994 when we got married, so we had a mid-afternoon church wedding, reception in the church hall, hors d'oeuvres for food instead of a meal since it was mid-afternoon, and many many DIY decorations and friend/family contributions of things like vocal music, serving, cleanup, etc. From engagement ring to honeymoon and everything in between (photos, dress, tux, etc) was about $5,000, all paid cash by us over the 9 months of our engagement. That's about $10k in today's money. It was a lovely wedding, with lovely memories and no financial regrets. I can't even fathom spending 3x that amount and putting it on credit. 29 years later, still no debt except a house (which we will have paid off in a couple of years) and we have paid for one kid's college and are in the middle of the second one, no student loans for either. Begin as you mean to go on. It's worked for us because we are on the same page. We're a team.
Pressure...? Yeah like peerpressure and people talk about it like it a child thing? Where do children learn it? From their parents! Come on people
I was ready to press the button and order a big screen 2000$ tv, then i watched a couple of Dave's videos and i got it out of my system. Thanks Dave.
She wasn't willing to compromise......
Exactly, it was her big party, she wanted to be the princess, 32 k was peanuts that time in her head
They'll always be broke.
Red Flag 🚩🚩🚩🚩
Groomzillas exist in case you didn’t know. In any case it hardly matters because even if she were bridezilla he went along with it
Got married in the Bronx we live in the hood, weeding reception in my apartment we cooked our own food had a great time, most I spent was $400 dollars for groceries. No one complained.
My husband and I got married in Las Vegas at the Elvis chapel….LOL. Total cost with pictures was about $150!
We got married at a state park with a few friends. Didn't cost much but my wife and I now look back on it as priceless.
When I’ve gone to weddings like that I find it cringeworthy. If someone’s spending way more than they can on a wedding it’s a way of saying to the world “we care so much about what other think and this trickles into all elements of our lives”. Frankly it’s embarrassing
I totally agree. What's totally disturbing about the caller is she keeps laughing like it's a no big deal situation. If DR handled this call it would have been way different.
So you would like to look back and regret the wedding you had? "man i wish we wouldve done this or man i really wanted this..." the one thing you get to do once in your life and you do it half assed? This is a bad take
@@AmeriiKK I think it'd be better to spend way less on the wedding and decide to start saving their emergency fund or saving for furniture or something. Yes, the wedding is a big day, but it's just one day. You shouldn't have to continue paying for it MONTHS down the road.
“I wondered if you rented a shrimp boat.” Love it, Ken🤣🤣 Jade is right. They shouldn’t let debt continue to set the tone for their marriage
Wedding license: $75 Judge at the courthouse fee: $75 done on her lunch break. The "fee" she didn't keep- she asked we donate money to the low income legal aid fund and bring receipt. Reception: potluck dinner at our place Total cost: About $1000. If that. Mainly for the cake at the "reception" we had, flowers for the wedding, license and donation to legal aid fund, and printing out some photos we had a law clerk take for us using a digital camera I brought.
got married during covid in Maui for under $6k. that included flights, 7 days at the resort, wedding planner, permits, makeup, photography and musician for 4 people. My family flew out but they paid their way.
In what year did this happen? Im trying to plan a destination wedding for $5k and struggling. And Im definitely not the type that needs all the expensive details.
@@dancingoctopus9888 I got married in September 2021. I'm sure it's way more expensive now.
Jade's reactions, particularly in the first three minutes are priceless. 😆😆😆
I love Jade; the most down to earth and relatable of the Ramsey personalities.
Her sound effect 😝
I'd love to have Jade in my life so I could call her and see if whatever plan I was cooking up trips her BS meter.
@@semosancus5506😅
She said that we didn’t want to compromise, I can tell you that SHE didn’t want to compromise on her big day.
I kept my wedding under $10k. We didnt use any loans or credit cars. Just paid cash and had help from family. We DIY a lot of it and went cheap on the venue by getting married on a week day and ordered catering from a non expensive restaurant.
I need to get into the wedding business, i am truck driver currently, but i need to research wedding planner, That's where the money and suckers are.
😂😂😂😂😂
Wrong timing, men are no longer getting married.
That’s what Mr. Wonderful from Shark tank says. Wedding and funerals are when logic goes OUT THE WINDOW
This is called no self control.
32k in debts for a F@$%& wedding and she's laughing about it 🤣
🎯🎯that part
This demonstrates that she is a princess who is completely out of touch with reality.
People laugh when they're nervous or embarrassed
They went over-budget for the wedding but there will be no budget for the divorce.
Top tier comment
Oh trust me the future ex husband will be paying up lol
I think you guys are mixing up rich people divorces like you see on TV, with real life divorces like this caller…sounds like they are more likely to have negative net worth and will both get debt in the divorce.
lol people watch too much TV. The most people aka women get is the house and child support. 🤣
@@TonyCox1351until they start having kids. And you’re discounting there was a DECISION PROCESS that led to this situation. Most likely, u less that changes, the situation wont
The cars aren’t the problem 16 each isn’t terrible. It’s the rest of how they’re living! They have to work and hope nothing bad happens to keep that up
Husband and I got married in 2017 for under $10k. 100 guests, had a wonderful time… but it was only one day! We both liked our wedding but also say if we were to do it again we’d consider eloping.
Love Jade! She is a total asset to Ramsey!!!
Vow renewal on the Queen Mary staying for five days in ‘the Window Suite” then a “honeymoon” in Catalina for a week: $5500.00
“We” weren’t willing to compromise
Dude, run.
How do you go $32k over budget, and you go back home to your RENTED domicile, and are immediately convinced your marriage will last forever? Do people who spend car money on weddings ever cry themselves to sleep wondering if a divorce happens its a pile of $100 bills that just went up in flames?
It's simple the husband is a simp and didn't say let's keep it basic. So we can put that money into buying a house. They were already 58 grand in debt and added 32 grand more. The number 1 reason for divorce is financial stress.
Wow what an awesome way to start your marriage. Hope it was worth it....
For most people, the wedding seems so important but outside of the actual marriage ceremony, all it is is a big party. Too many brides think the day is all about them - they are clueless that it's actually a day of work as the hostess of a big party. If they got it in perspective, their futures would be much better financially.
The big red flag is her tee-heeing and giggling through the call. This poor schmuck who married her is in for a ride... The Ramsey-Simps immediately blame him, but we know that he didn't spend 30k on a wedding, she did.
And he could have said no absolutely not but he didn’t. He is as much to blame
@@JerseyDevilJerseyGirl But then there would have been no more "rollin' in the hay"! I hope she's great, there!
Simple weddings are more blessed.
We had our ceremony in the morning. Then had a BBQ for friends and family in the afternoon in my parents’ backyard. Our total bill including my dress (which was actually being sold as a homecoming gown -but certainly looked like a wedding dress), food, drinks, decorations was $1500. Had a blast .. 18 years later and no regrets. It’s just a day to celebrate with people close to you. it’s not a competition.
pot luck in the church's fellowship hall, $500 max, done.
nice will do that
I think you can at least provide the food if people are coming to your wedding
Yeah but that won’t garner them enough oohs and aahs on social media 🤷🏾♂️
@@slscamglmao yeah pot luck? I wouldn’t throw a superbowl party without supplying food, much less a wedding. It’s ok to spend a couple thousand on a wedding. It’s fun memories, just like it’s ok to spend a couple thousand on a vacation. It just has to be IN BUDGET. If you don’t have the money saved, then a nice wedding ain’t for you.
it's your wedding lol shouldn't people bring stuff?@@slscamg
Neither of them are on the same page . They think the problem was that they rented a house . Nothing that she’s shared suggests they were going to save 32k if they’d not rented the house . They only had 3k in savings even after however long they were living there . The future doesn’t look good for these folks and my guess is they need more pain before they are actually both on board .
We spent about $10k for ours no debt 12 years ago. Limited size to 100 guest was as nice as some i know that were way more. Limiting size is a good way to save on the price.
I don't even know 100 ppl 😂
Overspending money you don’t have on a WEDDING is a poor person move-It’s a really low class thing to do. These people are idiots…& something tells me Kendra doesn’t really care all that much even though she says she does 😂
Nothings going to change they will keep doing it I can totally sense it in her voice.
Yeah there is no helping these people
@@RPG0018yeah they find it funny
Well her voice, her giggling clearly says it all.
One of my housemates had a wedding for around $500 because they didn't have a lot of money. She bought her wedding dress from JC Penney for $300. I altered the dress for her for free. She bought silk flowers and made her own arrangements. She had the wedding at her church. And the reception was a potluck. It was very nice.
It’s hard to decide whether to laugh or cry when watching these.
😂😂😂 sorry, I just laughed reading your comment 🤣
I'd have to be making about 500k/year in order to justify spending 32k on a wedding... I'm going to guess they don't make that much.
What a waste of money. Our wedding was $500 total including the dress. 3 years later we're net worth millionaires in our early 30s.
Mine was $1000 and I don’t regret it. We used the money that could have paid for a wedding as a down payment on a house. It was 185k and it’s now worth 330k…best decision we ever made. 😊
I mean... we cannot expect everyone to live with the same exact values. At least three of my coworker/friends have had 200k+ weddings (two of which Indian weddings and another Chinese-American). They are also well off (but working-class) millionaires in their late 30s. I don't think anyone should ever borrow money to have a wedding, but people should absolutely spend extravagantly (within their means) on the things they care for while being frugal on other things. If a wedding means so much, spend!!! For you (and me as well), who value weddings less, I'm sure you've spend extravagantly on other things that others may not necessarily have understood (I know I have).
@@UtotheJ Sounds like they had a lot of help from their parents. My wife and I had 0 help from family and had $150k in student loans to pay off. I somehow doubt that these couples who spent $200k on their wedding were in a similar position
@@pey7777 Sound like they are doctors..
Over my life I've had some cheap, old, boring but reliable cars and no car debt. I still managed to get everywhere I needed to go. The number of times I see people doing a video in the car complaining about not being able to afford groceries or gas and the car looks brand new and I wonder if they are paying a car loan and if they couldn't have economized.
Exactly. People nowadays have champagne taste with a beer budget.
We eat a lot of rice and beans, literally. From the food bank. Not because we go there, because the people who use the food bank won't take the beans and rice. Actually can it on the way out the door. Unbelievable but true.
Exactly, like all the people with iPhones asking for money. Buy a $150 android, stop begging...
People should learn the importance of getting married without debts. Because marriage after the honeymoon is challenging the phase of adaptation and so on.
I am a christian, I live by faith and my church always teaches about Intelligent Faith.
Be wise with your finances, marriage and wedding are 2 different things. Sacrifice for the marriage and do what you can afford for the wedding.
Spent literally less than $500 on my wedding and the marriage lasted over 15 years. Seen many other spend about that much and last even longer. Also seen people spend over 100k and they are divorced two years later.
It's easier just to hit it and quit it. All you are paying for is dinner. Pump and dump.
@@strangeroamer3219enjoy talking to Jesus on judgement day about how you speak of his people.
It's Colorado, A common Law State.
Live under the same roof,
Hold yourselves out as being married,
And no reason you could not be married.
On a nice Spring Day, you stand in the town square and
introduce yourselves as Husband and Wife to your community.
It took me 4 years to pay off my 35k student loan, and I’m making 6 figures. They spent just as much over a day on personal loan? I assume with todays 8-9% interest rate?
7 grand just for the venue? Some weddings you can get venue, food and entertainment for 7 grand
Need those instagram wedding photos, for people who quite frankly couldn't care less l
@@fauxbro1983that’s true. I don’t pay much attention to the photos
Even with 7K for the venue, I’m not sure how they went over budget so much. Wouldn’t the venue cost be in the budget? Wouldn’t you call around first and get an idea of how much to budget for a venue??
$32k for one day , let alone 32k over budget is crazy
She sounds like a princess.
I admit it is 7 years ago so would probably be more now, but our wedding with 70 guests, rented venue, photographer, band and catering and hotel night for us after was 7000€. I don't feel we compromised on anything so I can't imagine going 32k OVER!
Thank Jesus my wife and I eloped. Paid 100 for the officiant. The money ended up going to a down payment toward our house and a week vacation in Paris.
Way to go! We think alike....
I think my wife and I spent 2-3k on our wedding and did a camping road trip for our honey moon. We celebrate our 20th anniversary next year and can afford to do something fancy for that now.
We paid about the same. The church honorarium was modest, the food for the reception was donated by friends and served by teenagers from the coffeehouse ministry. Our reception was in a friend's massive backyard, the tables and chairs were paid for by family. My husband planned our honeymoon in a condo on Catalina Island: four weekdays cost us around $1,200 including food and sightseeing.
We will be twenty years next year; we have always spent modestly and save as much as we can. 😊
Thirty year anniversary next spring. We paid cash for our wedding in Vegas and reception at our home town. I always regretted a little not buying a wedding dress (probably could have found one for $100 ). This woman spent impulsively and now regrets it.
I love when they say “we” but in my experience it’s always the bride that went over budget. I don’t know any guy that gives a shit to spend more money on the wedding lol
💯 lol
Yep “we” is a way to avoid accountability.
I was thinking the same the whole time until I thought she said “we are both spenders”
Any woman who insists she needs to borrow $32K on a wedding and won't compromise on that ain't gonna marry me
We we we, really her her her, men don't care about the wedding because lets face it, it's HER DAY.
Neve go into debt over a wedding
Wedding Planner here 🙋♀️....30-40k is NOT unreasonable for a wedding nowadays with good vendors! Now whether or not you can afford it is a different story!
That's INSANE!!
@@tduck828 it's AVERAGE lol my luxury weddings can be double/triple that
@natut01 I don't doubt it but that's crazy to me. I see those wedding dress shows and my jaw drops at how much dresses alone cost! My entire wedding only cost $5k all in (granted it was back in 2011) but that was everything including dress, rings, etc...
@@tduck828 oh yes I get it. My elopement weddings can be under 5k and are just as nice. Depends on the couple and their budget.
But, it was way more than that. She went 30k *over top* of the original budget.
My guess is the Honeymoon was not 2 Nights in Branson, MO. That is 2 weeknights in early October.
We weren't willing to compromise...ya ok...she was not willing. Great start to marriage and says everything about who you are starting a life with. Good luck.
Holy smokes. Our whole wedding was about 7k and that was a lot
That overage is SIX TIMES what my wife and I spent on our wedding. Yikes.
We had our wedding at Mc Donald’s everyone had a happy meal
I didn’t get the actual numbers but from my understanding it sounded like they only had about 3000 saved for this wedding. If they were living with family with no rent how come that’s all they could save up for
She was very cagey about that detail. Again, something tells me she was the one who wouldn’t compromise. I also wouldn’t doubt if she was behind the house rental.
@@cyoohoos I felt like saying this in the comment, but I didn’t, but I believe she’s one of those little princesses that stomped her little feet around till she got exactly what she wanted and if that is the case, this guy needs to run for the border because she’s gonna do that throughout their entire marriage when she feels justified in wanting what she won’t when she’s not getting it he’s in for a bad marriage if this is the case
I don’t think they were staying with the parents for long. Sounds like they couldn’t get along, so they moved out quickly and rented a house. Which is silly. They could have rented an efficiency apartment until after the wedding.
I'm 99.99% sure their family/relatives/friends pressured them into spending more, and they gave in like "What the heck, this only happens once in a lifetime anyway!"
Maybe. But she is striking me as the girl who dreamed of the Barbie wedding ALL HER LIFE
Not their..... HER
@@cyoohoosYeah I agree she sounds fat
The fact that most of those callers are laughing and giggling while talking about their debts is telling me that they don’t take this seriously at all… they still think it’s cute to overspend… like: oooops, haha, we are SO BAD with money… isn’t this quaint…
This is a prank call, right?! No one is this senseless, right?!
Look what channel you are watching...are you new here 😂
My wedding cost my mom a fortune. My divorce last year cost me 500k. I’ll never get married again, but I will encourage my kids to get married in the park or have a potluck reception at their church.
Jade's face says it all 😂
We spent $7000AU (so more like $4k for USD) and had around 40guests. Food cost the most, everything else was on the cheap and family helped with set up and clean up. Hired the church hall and the church fee, it was all we needed. YOLO weddings are for the celebrities who are brand ambassadors as far as I’m concerned
Ken’s way out his element with the strictly financial calls.
And everything else also.
chat gpt could answer this one … reduce spending, live like broke people, put every dollar toward debt. There’s no other solution.
@@jimmymcgill6778 haha I agree.
I think he's like these are dumb and dumber 😅!!!
She’s either EXTREMELY nervous or she’s an airhead: giggling while she confesses how irresponsible she is.
Well.... They blew all that money, right?
"We weren't willing to compromise." Okay, so it's a done deal, and it's assumed you are happy with the wedding of your dreams. So, *why* are you calling??
It is good they are learning now their costly mistake and not 5 years later. They will learn and hopefully if they follow Dave Ramsey’s method they will have extra $ in their bank accts and no debt. Good luck to them.
It's called "debt flexing." 😵
We had over 200 people at our wedding, we had plenty of food and an open bar and an incredible dj and it was 15 grand out the door.... it was a church wedding and the reception was in an airplane hanger with vintage aircraft (we rented it for super cheap from a little local airplane museum). They let us bring in our own booze from costco so we got 500 worth of liquor and juice and a friend worked the bar for tips (beer out in ice buckets and wine on the table). The food was catered bbq. I bought a clearance dress and we printed cheap invitations at ups. (Seriously, people throw those out) My in laws made and donated simple lovely centerpieces and 4 giant salads to the food table. Girl on Facebook made me this adorable little cake and a bunch of cupcakes. Plates cupsv the fancy plastic from sams. I got cafeteria cutlery online for a steal. Most expensive thing was the dj who also did lighting and decorations. We had enough space in that hanger for everything and on the far side, away from all the noise and dance floor closer to the bathrooms, there was an empty display case they let us set up a little self serve coffee bar. So we got some comfy armchairs for way cheap off marketplace and from friends houses and spent about 150 bucks making a little hangout area for anyone who needed a break from the party. I still get complimented on how fun and easy or wedding was. It was also a winter wedding in ALASKA so the family that came up from the south were blown away by all the natural beauty during the day. It was really fun and we stayed well within budget. It can be done people, you just gotta think outside the box!
Our wedding budget was 10k & it was beautiful.
The real question is will this wedding debt be paid off before the divorce?
Exactly
No
In my culture the guests gift you money. The thump of rule is pay for at least your seat and close relatives usually do a bit more. You keep track of it too, so when you’re invited back you know what to gift back.
Many in my culture go overboard on weddings (like 50k+) and are still in debt even with the moneygifts. My husband and I did it as simple as we could. We spend 20k and made a 2k profit off our wedding 🤷🏻♀️
American culture. Invite 60 people. We got 10 gifts and less than 10 cards 😂
@@A_Girl_named_nick 😂 we had 300 people and that was considered a ‘smallish’ wedding
We wanted what it took our parents 30 years to own, and we got in debt , then bankruptcy wash repeat.
The state with the lowest average wedding cost is Kansas at $16k according to Knot. So, either this video attracted the smart and thrifty wedding planners or people are not being honest about how cheap their weddings were. I don’t judge people either way but math ain’t mathing.
I thought we were irresponsible paying 13k for ours (5k from parents and 8k of our own cash) just because we had debt that needed to be paid. But going 32k into additional debt for the wedding! I don’t think I could’ve enjoyed myself at my wedding if I knew I had done that. 😮💨
2:59: That "big red flag" is a divorce in their future!
$7500 just to rent the building for a day 😮
My fiance and I are planning our wedding. Our budget is 3k or under.
We live in a rural area and a lot of "wedding venues" are 4-8k on the low end for a Saturday. Range is 2-20k. We had a Friday booked for 2200 with rentals and decor, we canceled it, halved the guest list and am using a friend's property.
$7500 for the venue sounds, to me, only slightly above average especially if the venue provides tables, chairs, has a kitchen for the caterer, etc. plus all the staff for setup/teardown.
My wedding was a destination wedding, but my family still only spent about $15k, and we certainly didn't go in debt for it.
Weddings are just parties. The marriage begins the day after. You have memories and photos but honestly, if you elope and or have a simple garden party with nice tables and lights and a BBQ would be just as nice. I just don't get this fantasy about weddings.