The scariest service dog denial I've ever experienced…
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- Опубликовано: 21 сен 2024
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I'm Molly, a typical sushi, makeup, and fashion loving millennial girl who just so happens to be blind! I was diagnosed with Retinitis Pigmentosa at just 4 years old and began public speaking at age 5. I started just doing motivational speaking, but now I make videos and even model! Even though I can’t see, I know that there are bright spots in everything we face. Let’s find them together. 💕
I think every service industry should have training in this kind of thing, the laws etc. It should be part of their job training. I can’t imagine how scary that must have been.
In an ideal world, yes. The reality is that turnover in the service industry is so high they barely bother to train them on the minimum they need to do the job.
Yes! Every job when you first start has those boring orientations. Talking about work place politics and whatnot, they all 100% should include laws about this!
It would be so simple to go over the "commonly asked questions" section of the ada website and that's pretty much all they'd need to know. Corporations aren't sued often enough for discrimination for them to care. Most people just let it go because the alternative is too much work/money
It should be written on your state ID. Then there is no question and no heartbreak.
They do. Business owners need the training. They’re the ones who don’t know. Businesses have put up with enough. The majority are ‘emotional support’
I hate what all these denials have turned me into. I can feel myself tensing up, getting flustered, getting angry, meanwhile my rational side is telling me to remain calm, speak pollitely, educate, be a good representative for the assistance dog community... But my inner twelveyearold wants to scream "I shouldn't have to advocate for myself like this you bloody ableist idiot!"
"you bloody ableist idiot!" should be screamed more! but then we are the mean ones sadly
Your inner 12 year old is right, you shouldn't have to advocate for yourself like that :( people in the service industry should have to be educated on rights of service dog users
@@katie6384 it should be standard. Half the places ive worked had it in there videos and the other half didnt and it makes me mad on others behalfs. I go out of my way to educate others ive even cut off other coworkers from speaking and corrected them. No one should have to stand up for there rights and i wont allow it infront of me. Maybe its my big sister energy but i just put myself in others shoes and id hate to be treated like that
@@Scarletlight525 it’s disgusting how we’re treated for our disabilities. Can’t exactly say reacting has worked out well either… seems like however we respond we’re the problem.
Does reporting these businesses to BBB help? Maybe leaving reviews so others can be prepared? Bad press seems to be the only language they understand when the letter of the law isn't understandable to them
I cannot believe they opened the door. I cannot believe that. That is so terrifying. I am so sorry that happened
The intersection of disability and being a woman really truly needs to be addressed more
Most hotels unfortunately have the rules of knock first, if you don't get an answer, you may go in. Atleast for housekeeping, etc.. not to mention for "welfare checks" as well. This sucks, but I agree that they should have called her room first before just coming up to the room.
@@nataliedomon8969when they knock. They announce who they are. They don't judge knock. Yes. If there was an emergency. Going in is fine. This was not an emergency.
@@Dan_Sgambelluri While this might not be an emergency for the guest themselves, this actually could have been an emergency or urgent for others in the building, especially if Molly or those who booked the room or checked in with her did not inform the hotel that she was a service dog user.
There could be staff or other guests who happen to have severe allergies to dogs, the dog (who if not told was a service dog, because unfortunately it is not uncommon for people to sneak their pets and animals into hotels) could cause severe damage to a room or staff or other guests if left unknown or unchecked (and honestly security was dumb to even risk going into a room with a potential animal in it. Calling the room and knocking on the door to check is fine, but not walking in when an animal can be potentially left alone in an unfamiliar environment can be so dangerous... That being said if it wasn't security checking, it could have possibly been an unsuspecting housekeeper who was just changing out the towels and trash bins), and hotels need to go through not only proper licensing, but a very strict approval process to allow pets (that are not service animals) to even be on the premises of a hotel to the point in where the hotel could get sued by other guests for allowing a dog to stay at the hotel. If they are unaware that there was a pet in the room, then the hotel is at risk if the next guest arrives and has allergies or health complications because the room wasn't cleaned to the standard that it should have been for one that contained pets (There's often different cleaning protocols like more focus on cleaning fur off of the floors and furniture that is different from cleaning up after humans).
That still doesn't make this situation right. That security individual handled that whole situation extremely poorly. You call the guest multiple times, you knock multiple times, but you do not go into that room. If the guest has an animal in there, it's not worth the risk. It's less risky to charge the guest after or not refund the security deposit if evidence of an animal has been seen inside of the room (obviously this should be waived though as soon as it's mentioned that someone has a service animal). That's why it's so so important to inform the hotel. The staff are often overworked and are not mind readers, not to mention many hotels will even accommodate those with service animals if they can! For example in my resort, we try to move all people with service animals to the more expensive and comfier pet friendly property we have, or keep them closer to elevators or exits, or walkout units. If someone does complain, then they can be moved elsewhere (especially if they suck as a human being and know it's a service dog user, but are complaining anyways. They can be inconvenienced, not the person with the dog).
It's still incredibly unfortunate what happened to Molly, especially with the escalation after telling the security person it was a service animal. Honestly... there's a very good chance it wasn't even a licensed security guard because of how they reacted. Not only have I grown up and even currently work in the resort industry, my partner works in security and they should know about and be trained on service animal accessibility. Not every hotel can afford hotel security, so "security" often falls onto untrained individuals who really shouldn't be posing as security guards.
TLDR: This whole situation could have been avoided if people didn't assume the hotel was or would be aware that Molly had a service animal, and actually communicated with hotel staff before or at check-in that she had one. Hotels have strict protocols and unnotified pets can not only be a problem, but even dangerous to others. "Security" was still wrong in how they handled it though and Molly suffered because of the failings of many people.
OMG! Your boyfriend was so right when he broke in there and said "That must have been so scary." I'm sorry that happened to you. Even as a sighted person I would have been terrified and so vulnerable to wake up in a strange hotel with a strange man having come into your room claiming to be security!
I was just about to comment that especially since I have ptsd
I would like to see guide dog users to do a class action suit against rideshare companies who permit drivers to refuse customers with service dogs.
I'd recommend looking into Guide Dogs for the Blind's work on rideshare denials. Perhaps one day it will come to a law suit.
I'd agree with you, but the rideshare drivers--who usually own their cars--are worried about how an animal will behave. And every driver has cleaned up puke from drunks and other messes. Their other concern is liability, if the next passenger is allergic to that animal.
Offer them solutions to cleaning, damage, and allergies, and they won't be so fast to fight.
@@lyfandeth it doesn't matter about that. When they sign up to rideshare in their personal cars, their personal cars become public spaces. Uber or whatever company should be covering that with insurance of some kind. That should absolutely not be something a disabled person with their service animal should come up against. Its the LAW.
I believe the U.S. Justice Department has an active investigation. May also need stiffer penalties for refusal... Like make it a criminal offence for the individual driver to refuse the service animal. Sadly, stiff fines or even jail time may be the only language the drivers understand.
Uber and Lyft (at least in the US) don't allow drivers to deny because of a service dog. They usually cancel because emergency so unless the driver specifically says it's because of the service dog before denying, you can't really do anything about it. Dunno about other rideshare companies tho
As a woman who travels alone for work (and whose company usually books) I have had instances of opening my room and there being a man I dont know in there (double booked?) or being booked somewhere less safe than I would have booked for myself. I know this is a different situation, but having anyone ANYONE break into your room when you are in there as a young woman is terrifying. Something that I and many of my female colleagues use that helps is a portable metal door lock (the kind with a metal plate that fits into the door strike). I know it wasnt the situation (your mom was coming back and maybe you want people to be able to come in and access the room if you have an emergency) but if you are ever feeling anxious or unsafe about sleeping in a hotel it is a thing that helps
Also please use things like the Do not disturb signs often available at hotels! They're usually on the handle of the door on the inside or in the closet somewhere.
I honestly would be weary of using any device that locks people out of the room entirely. If it's an accidental double booking, then most reasonable people would notice the DND sign and ask front desk what's up. If there's an emergency or a reason why someone needs to get into that room, those things can be dangerous or can cause serious damage to the door/room if it needs to be broken into for any reason (like a fire, flooding, ect).
If you travel frequently they have these small door gadgets that you can carry with you and shove under the door to prevent it from opening. Sadly opening up doors on people in hotel rooms seems to be common place
@@3amhellbeast it’s pretty easy to break these if you’re security/fire dept/etc. It helps make security hopefully knock a few more times (giving you more opportunity to wake up/actually hear them), prevent hospitality from waltzing in, prevent double booking walk ins, and deter anyone trying to break in that isn’t committed enough to risk being seen messing with the thing or drawing attention from an alarm
I am so angry at that hotel staff just hearing this story. Thank you for sharing.
He should have NEVER been able to go into your room.... OMG. How scary. What if you where naked? If I was that manager of that person I would have fired him on the spot and given you your money back and groveled at your feet to forgive the extremely inappropriate behavior of the staff.
I'm not going to defend this guy at all, he definitely made a huge 'mistake'! However, it's actually surprisingly common for hotel maintenance, housekeeping, and security to enter rooms often without the person staying there knowing. They never will enter a room unless if it's for good reason, like requested maintenance or some kind of severe issue that can't wait (for example if a room flooded on the floor above and they need to check for water damage). In this case, animals smuggled into a non-pet friendly room or hotel is kinda one if those cases. Hotels need permits to be able to legally allow animals in them and well as more intense cleaning and safety procedures. This is waived for service animals, but the hotel needs to know that otherwise they can get into trouble if another guest complains about a dog on the premises if it's supposed to be a pet free establishment.
Staff should always call first and that's it. If they have to enter a room then they knock (which they did), and it's kind of assumed that if no one responds to a 2nd knock, then the room is empty. They also did the right thing by yelling in the room to announce themselves. That being said, if there was a dog that wasn't a service dog, entering the room was not the smart move and could have gotten them hurt if the animal was aggressive. As soon as Molly explained the dog was a service dog, security should have backed off and left, apologizing and explaining that no one explained or told the resort that the room had a service dog user in the room (mistake on manager/Molly for not doing that so there wouldn't be a miscommunication in the first place. Even if it seems obvious, front desk is a busy and hard job! Taking a few seconds to notify them would have stopped this entire situation from happening...)
They will not enter a room if there is a DND (Do not disturb) sign on the door, though, unless if in a true emergency. Whenever I stay at a hotel, that goes on my door and never comes off!
@@3amhellbeastsmuggling a dog is not one of those cases.
No response at a knock with no announcement at 8:30 am shows that the person is sleeping.
If Molly told the front desk she has a service dog. Everyone else doesn't know she has a service dog.
@@Dan_Sgambelluri It is unfortunately if it's unknown that the animal is a service animal. People sneak their regular (and even completely untrained) pets into hotels all the time, but this can actually be not only a risk, but a huge danger to individuals in the hotel, the room/property, and even the pets themselves. I'm heartbroken that Molly had to go through this scary situation, but it was 100000% avoidable had not only herself but the many people around her hadn't failed to assume that the hotel knew she was a service dog user and informed hotel staff of her dog either before arriving to the hotel or when checking in.
If someone doesn't notify the hotel even if it seems obvious, then the hotel has to prepare for the worst. The worst being an untrained animal left in an unfamiliar room alone who could potentially be reactive or hostile. If an animal that was allowed to stay on the property and was known about but ignored by staff, and if it attacks or harms another human on that property, the hotel is held liable for it. There's also the issue of how some people can have allergies or health complications from animals too, which the hotel would also be held liable for (and potentially even shut down btw because in order for hotels to allow non-service animals even on the premises, they have to have not only the right permits, but go through many years of meetings, agreements, establishing security and cleaning protocols, ect beforehand). Not notifying the hotel is also a problem even if it's a service animal because cleaning protocols after any animal is in a room is different, and if the next person in that room has an allergy or health complications due to improper cleaning then that still falls on the hotel.
If someone informed the hotel (likely front desk) that there was a service animal in the room, then yes, all staff would be notified about it so as not to cause any problems for the service dog user in that room or when they are on the property. Most hotels (and I would assume ones in New York of all places) have ways of alerting and keeping staff up to date on things like that. Security (or in this case someone likely posing as security if I'm being honest) would not even enter a room or even call or bother the guest had someone at front desk even left so much as a sticky note on their file or in their database mentioning the room had a service dog user in it. Security would have stopped at front desk which is where every issue such as this one should pass through before bothering a guest.
That being said, I highly doubt the "security" person was a trained security guard. They are trained on not only how to handle the public and keep a situation calm and deescalated, but they are trained on service animals and what their rights are. Unfortunately most hotels either can't afford proper security, or they choose not to hire one due to the rarity of needing one. This likely was someone posing as a security guard which is why the situation didn't end at "This is a Service Dog" when checking the room (or honestly before then by calling the room multiple times through the day before entering it to "check").
As a small note, I've grown up in and currently work in the resort industry (my resort has both a non-pet friendly and a pet friendly property, so I'm also pretty familiar with the differences in the laws and legalities between the two. Not to mention the struggle of trying to make one pet-free building turn into a pet friendly one to the point in where it was so difficult and a 10 year fight that it had to be given up on). My partner is a licensed security guard and has been one for years.
@@3amhellbeast imo they're told here is an animal inside. and they let themselves in not knowing ANYTHING about the animal if its friendly if its a protective dog or a service dog. it is vastly more dangerous for them to walts in rather than get authorities or just wait if they refuse to open the door. she should've got him for harassment and sued the hotel for discrimination and Gross misconduct emotional damages and made them pay for the next hotel cause the way the security acted woulda made me feel unsafe in their establishment.
When I had my first uber denial with my dog. I never expected to get emotional. When all I wanted to do was go home, the driver refused to take me because of my guide dog.
Because there is Uber pet
@@77Breven uber pet is meant for people with pets. Service animals are not considered pets. They are medical equipment. Yes, they are dogs. But, they help mitigate a disability by performing tasks.
@@77Brevenon top of the other reply that service dogs are not pets, uber pet is also SUPER pricey and would be shitty to make people with guide dogs to pay extra
@@angiecastro9345 totally agree with you however I think because their car is their own property they have the right to deny a dog in their car?? I’m sure somewhere in the contract they signed they would have to allow service dogs so I’m sorry that happened to you.
@@77Breven thank you. And yes, it is uber’s policy that they take someone with a service animal. Yet some drivers believe because it is their own car, that they can make that decision. If someone signs up to drive for uber, they should follow their policy.
to anyone that needs to hear this: You deserve to take up space!! Your wants and needs, and especially comfort and safety, are important and valid. We live in a society that makes disabled people feel like they're broken and don't belong, when that is absolutely so far from the truth! it's so hard to function in a world that expects you to adapt but is unwilling to do anything to help or accommodate. It's crucial to be properly educated and stand up for others when they need help/ are being wronged. Molly, thank you for using your platform and your experiences to advocate for both yourself and those who may not be able to for themselves. Your vulnerability has the impact of not only educating people, but letting others in similar situations know they are not alone. I've been watching your content for going on 10 years and you've taught me so much in that time. Much love
I am fully sighted, and *I* was feeling terrified and emotional and unsafe during that story!!! Thank you Molly, *so* much, for sharing this!!!
Same, literal nightmare scenario
Same, I would go into shock.
As someone who is legally blind listening to you tell the story, I completely relate to your fear and your distress in that moment. I would have totally freaked out. People do not understand the vulnerability in that moment when you cannot see.
It's so important for people to hear these stories, and see how it impacts individuals with a disability. Thank you for having the courage to share this difficult experience. ❤️😎🌴
I live in NYC with a service dog. I remember you talking about that horrible denial once before - and that had to have been super traumatic to have a man with a threatening tone entering your room like that no matter the reason. That’s surely not the way to handle a perceived problem. I personally would have filed a complaint with the DOJ if it was me going through the same experience. I also would have sued the hotel. I never want to take such steps, but when it’s traumatic to that degree, I would totally feel that I want to make a point so it won’t happen to others in my position again. I wouldn’t even want money from it. I’d just want the hotel to get fined for breaking the law and have mandatory yearly service dog and disability training for all current and new staff working there. (One of my classmates who had a traumatic experience at a hospital with her service dog sued with that stipulation and wanted no compensation.) I can understand why you wouldn’t have wanted to do that, though.
I have to say that denials and issues with service dogs are not a regular occurrence for someone who lives in NYC. But stuff like this happens in the big city more often than it should - actually, it’s more of a problem outside of Manhattan in the outer boroughs where most regular residents live than within busy Manhattan where it’s mostly businesses, medical facilities, tourist attractions, museums, restaurants, etc. Smaller businesses and medical offices are less aware about service dog laws. Most of these places are aware of the law because they would be more likely to encounter service dogs on any given day.
I had my first denial literally the day after I came home from my team training in 2017 . . . and a second access denial the day after that. What a “welcome home” that was! I was extremely disappointed and upset because the first denial happened at a cancer clinic where my mom was getting treated and the second happened at my longtime dentist’s office. I knew it was bound to happen, but I never expected it to happen so quickly out of the gate. Fortunately, the school really prepared us for such scenarios. I was shocked and rattled, but I was prepared. I ultimately resolved everything- not on that day, but it never happened at either of those places ever again when I came back.
I feel for you. I’m a Service Dog Handler, but I’m also 60 years old and I’ve only had her for five years. I do not get upset, I get angry IMMEDIATELY, but I do it in the most constructive way possible. I ask for the manager, hand out my “Service Dog Law” cards, and politely explain what I’m doing next. No resolution? I call the cops. While I’m waiting, I call the newspaper and the local TV channel. I am unfailingly kind and polite, but I will NOT remove myself from the premises without being escorted out by POLICE - NOT Security - and good luck with that. I weigh over 250lbs and I’m in a wheelchair. And I’m not resisting, but I’m also NOT cooperating. Sadly, it has NEVER come to this. I am well-groomed, well-spoken, and VERY nice but EXTREMELY firm. You will not be violating my right to be there. Sorry, no. My family, God bless them, have been known to whisper gently in the manager’s ear: “Sir/Madam, you’re not gonna win this one. She LOVES to fight. You’ll be the headline on USA Today in the morning. I’ll distract her while you Google ADA.gov, but don’t take too long. She REHEARSES for this.” I only recently found out what my male family members were telling people, but it has worked EVERY time. I realize that many handicapped people, unlike myself, do NOT love a good challenge, and I feel for you when all you want to do is go about your day under the anonymity of a regular Joe. But I’m fighting these battles for ALL of us, and I’m rather good at it! I never ask for money for MYSELF, BTW, but many a local business has donated to the Wounded Warriors Service Dog Fund because of me! Keep speaking out, and beware the old lady with dreadz in a screaming yellow wheelchair with a yellow Pit/Lab cross in a purple harness!
YOu go girl!
You sound amazing! I get anxious with confrontation, but I’m so glad you stand your ground so well.
News is good, but be careful about advising people to call the police. If a state does not have Service Dog law in their Penal Code, there is nothing they can do, and they HAVE to trespass you if the business wants it. I am also very good at advocating but like you don't show anger. It works better. I don't love it, but I did become very good at it.
@@shakeyj4523 The Americans with Disabilities Act is a Federal law. It gives more freedom to disabled than most state laws. Only if the state law gives MORE freedom will it apply. According to the ADA they have to let service dogs go wherever the public goes (with some restrictions like pools) whether the police like it or not. Facts.
@@robbymonaco3738 The Americans with Disabilities Act is a Federal Law (which is not under the purview of local police), but it is Civil law. The police do not enforce Civil law, so they are powerless to do anything. You really should know this before you attempt to educate. So the REAL fact is that if your state does not have protective laws, the police can do nothing. They do not enforce Federal law, nor Civil law. You are now better educated.
Please don’t apologize for letting your emotions out. That experience was awful and should never have happened to you. Please don’t ever stay at that place again.
As a disabled person, I’ve never understood why it’s treated like our responsibility to be fighting and explaining 100% of the time DESPITE the fact that we’re going through more than the average person, and on top of that, also told we can’t complain!
Why is it not a businesses responsibility to educate their employees and understand the LAW? Why isn’t there representation in TV shows (except specific ones), advertisements, PSAs, build-boards, etc? Why isn’t it taught in school? Why isn’t it considered basic decency and human kindness?
And when we get tired of fighting and need a break, we lose, because companies get to fire us for our disabilities but get to act like it’s another reason. Why? Why??
At the BARE minimum, I want disability education to be mandated in schools. We learn about many other minorities and how their lives have been affected across history, why not learn about the minority that will affect most people at some point in their lives (even if it means they’re only disabled while on their deathbed)? It’s been 30 years since the ADA and only the bare minimum has been done. More education needs to be passed.
To do that you need more disable people to be in power and in the decision rooms. Non disable wont fight for disable people. Non autistic wont fight to get accommodations for autistics, etc. Disable people have to be the once making the laws, be in the corporate world, have business, educate their staff etc. My mother is in a wheelchair, she has been for 23 years. Nothing has change in that time. Just on Saturday we went to a restaurant, a fancy one, and she couldn't use the toilet. She had to go to Walmart to do so. >_> IS sad. Disable people would benefit from having their own disable country and make everything accesible.
Agree ❤ it boggles my mind too that many many people are affected and would benefit from what you suggest. If all these people got together to demand change it would be un-ignorable. ❤
@@ZairaBandy good point...in Australia there's an awesome awesome disabled member of parliament @jordonsteelejohngreens This human is a brilliant blessing to the world ❤ and started really young! Goals ❤ (noting everyone has their own degree of capacity)
Couldn't agree more!
While I am not blind but I am physically disabled so I feel vulnerable in public especially when someone challenged me, and I try to explain and placate the person who questioned whether I am truly disabled. I became a social worker for 20 years to advocate for the disabled community.
As a New Yorker, I totally dislike NYC for multiple reasons. It's loud, crowded, overwhelming, and scary. I have really bad anxiety, and my fear was that I would always get lost and confused.
I am a NYorker and I love everything it has to offer.
Oh Molly, it broke my heart to listen to this story but this is one that needs to be told! You are shining such an important light on injustices that people with disabilities face every single day in this world! You are helping to change the landscape, so as much as it hurt you to share this very scary and very painful memory, know that it is not for nothing! I'm so sorry this happened to you! Sending you such a warm and loving hug! 💓
I'm sighted but have PTSD from being violently assaulted by a man. Having someone come into my hotel room like that would be very triggering and would cause an anxiety/panic attack as well as a medical episode from my physical disability. I do not answer knocks on my door while alone if i'm not expecting someone.
The only situation where that is appropriate is if they had suspicion someone was being violent or harmed in the room, not over a service dog. Whoever reported Gallop saw him his in harness with a very obvious guide handle and I'm sure you mentioned you were blind at reception if they required a signature or tried to hand you something. You deserved a lot more than two free breakfasts, you deserved an apology from the staff member who traumatized you.
So scary because you just had to trust that that actually was security. So frustrating and scary. That’s just not the way staff should have taken care of that situation at all
I can totally relate to experiencing this transition in emotions. That at first you are very confident in explaining but then because of the reactions of people around you, things change overtime. I'm 31 years old with a painful condition in my left leg that started when I was 26. I was working at a chemical site at the time that had really long distances to get to my office. My manager arranged a bike for me that I could use to move across the site. Because biking I was still sort of able to do. And then one time one of the security people started accusing me of actually not needing the bike. He claimed that a few weeks was enough for me to recover that I should just start walking on site again just like everybody else. And that he was tired of having to explain to other people why I was able to ride a bike on site while they were not. Meanwhile almost 6 years later I'm still struggling with even more mobility issues now. That experience also changed me, including some other experiences that I've had where people are denying you those things that you really need to not be in pain or to get around and be safe. Like your guide dog is for you. A disability is hard enough by itself. We don't need other people to come in and make it even harder.
Are security people the bottom of the totem pole at a lot of jobs?
@@tobes..they act they have absolute power.
I was actually someone who helped you in a situation at an industry event I was working at in NYC where the security wanted to deny you entry to practice for your Keynote speech. They wouldn’t let you inside with your dog or your assistant and your mother came and grabbed me to help (we had become aquatinted earlier that day) and I had to yell at the security for being so ignorant to not understand that you were 100% allowed to take your dog wherever the hell you wanted. Honestly it wasn’t even my place to tell anyone what to do as I was bottom of the food chain staff wise but I couldn’t believe that the staff or security was not briefed on how to interact with someone who uses mobility aids especially at an event where the keynote speaker uses one!
I just couldn’t believe how unprofessional the staff was, even the person who greeted you guys (one of the higher ups in the event) pet gallop!! I knew from that moment issues would happen throughout the event and I just couldn’t believe an event that you were invited to didn’t do any do diligence to make the experience as smooth as possible for you.
I only experienced that one event but I know that is something you experience all the time and I just wish people would use some common sense. It’s a guide dog, very clearly so!
Hopefully things change but I will always advocate for those around me. So sorry you are constantly having to go through this, even from places that should definitely know better!
I feel like there needs to be business cards that a person can pass out with the law states on there and if the company continues to deny access to the service dog and person, the police will be called.
My son requires medication and he flew for the first time. I was so scared that a random person working wouldn't know that he's legally allowed his medicine and equipment as a free carry on that I printed out a medical alert tag with the law states right on there and legal consequences would be pursued if denied. Thankfully we had no issues and it wasn't needed that time. But it gave me peace of mind and provided something I could just point to because I knew if anyone tried denying us I would start to become really flustered and emotional.
@@ca147I feel where you’re coming from. Such cards do exist - they aren’t free, though. And they are another thing to carry around / keep stocked, on top of all the other things a service dog user carries. Sadly, the police aren’t exactly reliable (generally, and especially…) when it comes to actually knowing laws, including ADA. I don’t think the cards are a bad idea, but I don’t think adding another burden for the disabled community to carry is the “optimal solution” and I just would be very wary of suggesting reliance on police to actually protect any person’s rights, especially when it’s “a disabled individual person vs a business or company.” And how many places would you really want to still have the service from, would you still enjoy the experience of and be happy to patronize, after calling, waiting for, and interacting with the police, assuming the responding officers did know the law and convinced the establishment to comply with ADA?
@@ca147 cops often won't side with the service dog user because they don't even know the laws that they're supposed to be enforcing
@@ca147 a license or a legal certificate issued. It could even be on their state ID. It is too complicated with all these people bringing their dogs(I am not referring to guide dogs) everywhere that they are not allowed to be. There is no way for someone to discern that without legal paperwork. It will save everyone a lot of headaches and sadness
Thank you for advocating!!
Just as a woman, I relate so much to the feeling of vulnerability! C'mon, how on earth does a man break into someone's room because he was told there might be a dog in there???
Also as a woman, it hit me hard when you said you didn't want to be known as someone who complains. Working on a job where most of my colleagues are men, I find myself in this position a lot. I feel like I need to be strong and ignore "small" abuses so I won't be remembered by being someone who complains about everything and who can't handle the job. This is sad. It was necessary for me to hear this. Speaking up, for us and for others, is necessary, even though it is hard.
Thank you so much for everything that you do.
I would be absolutely horrified to have someone walk into my room. My heart started pounding as you told the story!
Don't know how people especially in service and hospitality industry aren't aware of the laws regarding service animals. Though it's not helpful for those abusing the system claiming a service animal when it's not. That only hurts those that really need these services.
In person apology from the manager with guarantee they will change their procedures in order to protect future service animal users. That is the only acceptable answer. Also, WTF are they doing sending a male security guard into a room with two women. Send a female security guard or have a female employee escort him.
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience. No need to apologize for the emotion! That experience sounds absolutely traumatizing and 100% was unnecessary. Hopefully we're in the process of becoming better educated as a broad society so that these incidents happen less and less in the future. Hugs to you. ❤
Being disabled is such a struggle against other people, it's crazy! All the love to you, you are doing amazing things 💜
I stay in hotels when I travel for work and have been living in apartments for years. I have run into staff and maintenance that come into my space without even 30 seconds notice at the door. I don't have a visual impairment and I still feel icky and an invasion of privacy in those moments - especially as a woman by herself.
Not being able to see and being half asleep during that moment must have been so scary! Thank you for sharing your stories and educating us all Molly!
What a horrible and traumatic situation to be in! I am so sorry you went through that Molly. Thank you for sharing this and educating people and probably making some people feel less alone. You are so brave.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I am not disabled but as a sexual abuse survivor, I can relate to the fear and 'hopelessness' (not sure if it's the right word, sorry) you felt at that moment. I, too, never pursued legal action for the exact same reason. I had to tell my story so many times to so many different people that when someone finally asked 'Do we call a lawyer? Do we call the police?', I could not say yes. It was too hard, and it actually still is. I was too traumatised. I don't think I would have healed as I have if I had brought my abuser to justice. Which is actually terrifiying and awfull, when you think about it. I have immense respect for people who find the strength to do so, speak about it publically and face the person who made them a victim. I can't. But, as you said, Molly, maybe one day. Right now I don't hide, I don't deny what happened to me and I try to help the people around me as much as I can. Thank you for sharing this story. ♥
I've worked in a hotel before, and that is absolutely terrifying!! I'd lose my job doing something like that, people are heartless.
I'd love to hear your other stories when you're ready. I masked a brain injury and multiple chronic pain conditions for decades, and I'm just learning to unmask and claim my life as a disabled person. I want to hear everyone's stories about why they deserve accommodations! It's easier to justify them for myself when I can see that others clearly deserve them. Thank you for being so vulnerable!
Some situations are just about caring for yourself, no matter what the options are. I am so proud of the work you choose to do to help prevent others from having as many of these stories. May you always be one of the first to see the kindness and knowledge of service animals that you spread reflected back on you.
I'm so horrified about the vulnerability in the situation and I don't know if abled people understand that feeling? The most concrete things that have happened to me include getting physically hurt AT A HOSPITAL because of my disability. I was an in-patient at a hospital and when lunch was served I turned it down because I had a severe migraine with aura, including dizziness/vertigo and nausea. Except the migraine, I have selective mutism (at that time quite severe but not complete) so I managed to mumble my answer, but not explain properly. One staff member then pulled me up from my bed and when the vertigo and pain hit (the pain would escalate if I only moved my head slightly), I fell down on the floor. She then told another staff member to help to carry me to the lunch room. This situation happened several times during the weekend, one time they literally grasped my clothes and I was hanging like a rag-doll with the bottoms of my feet not even being in contact with the floor. They told me "well, you'll have to take that up with the doctor on monday, because we've been told that you must eat".
Although I know I DID try my best to explain about the pain etc, I definitely couldn't defend myself either physically or verbally. Although the aura made the lights flicker and gave me vertigo, I still had (and have) all my 5 senses (mostly) functioning, so even though I couldn't speak I was at least aware of the physical surrounding etc. I'm just so horrified about that first situation when, as you said, you couldn't see and you were in a completely new environment and a man just entering and threatening you... it makes me SICK to think about. I imagine the staff might seriously not have understood how freaking traumatic that would be when you're adding the vulnerability to the situation. I hope stories like these helps us as a society to be more aware of different perspectives and how actions that oneself wouldn't think being "that bad" actually can be a very traumatic situation. ❤
hospitals can be horrible places at times.
My disability is my adhd and have worked in very in accommodating places. Advocating for yourself can be scary and exhausting. Don’t beat yourself up over not pushing things further with the hotel. You did what you felt comfortable doing at the time.
You're so strong. That sounds so scary, I have no words for that hotel staff.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope there are managers out there who would consider showing this to their workers to help create change both within their workplace and the community.
I'd like to hear the other stories. I'm not and probably will never be a service dog user, but through content like this, I feel like i can start understanding what it might be like. I've learned so much about the disabled and Blind communities from you. Your mission is succeeding, Molly.
It really kills me how some people bring their misbehaving pet in to grocery stores and shops just because. It takes away from the credibility of service dogs.
Doesn't matter. Still no reason to deny a service dog.
I truly appreciate your ability to articulate the trauma and shame you felt in this really awful situation. As someone who has never faced this trauma, it’s easy for me to distill “service dog denial” into a really sanitized and oversimplified version of what it really is, like “the restaurant denied my service dog, so I had to go find somewhere else to eat” … as though it were an inconvenience and not an experience that can truly change someone. I understand better now; thank you for that.
That must have been terrifying Molly 😢 I’m so sorry that happened to you. I have absolutely felt that feeling about not wanting to be the victim. I’m often the first and only person with my disability that people will ever meet, and the pressure of that is immense. (Also, completely unrelated but your hair is adorable)
I am so sorry you experienced this. Thank you for sharing and most of all for speaking up and speaking out.
that story sounds so scary!!! As someone else who has a lot of dissociative amnesia, I can't even imagine how scary someone just entering your hotel room would be, let alone someone who sounds like a large scary guy.
Sending you love and thanks for sharing this with us, even though it's hard for you. It's so important to see the real impact of the ableism!!
It's good that you shared this. Thank you Molly. You are brave. You've paved the way.
I can relate/appreciate, even though my disabilities can't be seen on the outside.
This trauma gets stored in our bodies. Somatic experiencing has really helped me with my trauma. Watching you process and share this experience made me really feel for your 24 year old self. I loved hearing how you practiced self care, took a break, and came back with a boundary and didn’t tell the two additional stories. ❤thank you for sharing such a horrible experience and advocating for the disabled community.
As someone who is also disabled, was in a deeply dependent situation, and experienced a deep trauma from a “security person” thinking who believed his position authorized him to treat me as less than a person, and has now established a deep PTSD response when I am in similar environments or situations- I see you. I have a shared sense of reality, and this is advocacy. I’m sorry for what you went through, and the fact you choose to face it every time you go out, not knowing if there will be another denial.
Thank you for bravely sharing your story. I would be happy to connect privately and share mine.
You are such a genuine lovable person, and I love your videos. You never deserved that kind of treatment. You deserve the same treatment as any fully sighted person. Wishing you the best
That would be terrifying for any woman. I can't even begin to imagine how much more terrifying that would be without sight. And barging in as if possibly having a dog in the room is an emergency...ugh...I have no words. I'm so sorry Molly.
Frightening situation for Molly. Grrrr!!!
Years ago, Marriott Security entered our room after other guests were assigned it too! BIG front desk error.
Thankfully we were 4 seeing people (hubby, me and 2 tiny frightened children).
Molly, don't apologize for your emotions. It is your wright to have them and show them and talk about them. In that way such expiriences became less stressful in time. It's allright to cry too. After crying you feel relieved. Love from Slovenia. Vanda
Molly, my brother is handicapped, eternally 7. I am the only family around in the area where he lives and I help manage his life. Advocating for him seems to be a full time job, and I do it willingly. There have been times in his life, where he had endured hardship, discrimination and neglect. I want him to have the best life possible, for the time he is on this Earth. I love him and he is special, he makes the world a better place.
I am so grateful to you, for the presence that you have in social media, for your bravery and willingness to share aspects of your life -good and bad. You are so special and truly a gift. Thank you for all that you do.
Same for me - most guide dog issues have happened to me in NYC (and I travel a lot as well).
How awful. I am sorry that you or anyone really have had to experience this. How scary. And those who have the 'fake' service dogs only make it harder. I'm sure you heard about Paul Castle's recent experience like this in a restaurant.
These are terrifying and awful experiences. Especially the first one.
I live in the US but am Canadian. Whenever I travel back to Canada is when I get access.issues! My program trained guide dog is a standard poodle however which I think does make some people question her validity simply off of breed.
I'm sorry these happened to you. Access issues are always very stressful and scary. I don't mind people asking us questions to make sure we are a valid team but people screaming at you to leave are a completely different animal.
Yup me too my guide dog school does standard poodles and I have a standard poodle and people get really weird about it
That is because poodles are, same as retrievers, very intelligent and trainable dogs. It is awful that you get treated differently just because your guide dog is not what they expect to be. The only important physical criteria for a guide dog is the size. For other assistance dogs even that is not important. Everything else is the personality.
Hi Molly! Would you consider making a video on how a total stranger could best step in to advocate for a disabled person in this type of situation? I have watched your channels for years and I feel so strongly for your advocacy mission. I would appreciate any advice you could give!
I'm so sorry to hear this. I had no idea anyone would question whether a guide dog should be allowed!!!
Have been there in that moment of panic where you are on the verge of shutdown because you were just trying to do normal everyday tasks in public with your service dog and now you have a customer, an employee, a manager yelling screaming at you that you can't possibly be disabled and pets aren't allowed. I didnt expect all the emotions to come rushing back hearing you recount your experience. Thank you for the advocacy work you do for those that cannot, from myself and my service dog Dahlia. 💜
Your story is absolutely terrifying. I am deaf with low vision and limited mobility. I have used a service dog for 15 years. I have had some but not a lot of service dog access issues but I have had a fair amount of communication access issues (“so sorry, we couldn’t find a sign language interpreter for you”). I have used lawyers several times to help me advocate for myself. I’m very sorry this happened to you.
I'm so sorry this happened. It sounds really scary. What that guard and the hotel did was unacceptable. ❤
Amazing timing! I just posted a video today about why pursuing these types of public access denials is important to the service dog community. It's called Top 10 Mistakes of New Service Dog Handlers.
I would have had them put up a sign at the front desk that reads: SERVICE DOGS WELCOME!
Love this
Thank you for sharing this! I hated seeing you upset 🥺. Love you Molly you are making change in this world and what you have done has made such a positive impact! Beautiful person inside and out 💕
I’ve heard horror stories from friends where they get chewed out for parking close to a store (NOT in the Handicapped spots they were in regular spots) I recently got cut off from Physical Therapy by my Physical Therapist - unilaterally, mind you - against my dr’s orders, my insurance plan AND my wishes…. I have Cerable Paulsy and haven’t had PT in over a month… I’m now so scared of falling because of that, that I BARELY move at all…. (My mom and I are working on this situation)
This story broke my heart. Thank you so much for opening yourself up to tell this story. These stories need to be shared so it doesn’t happen again.
public spaces should have accomodations for all types of people. i don't get how hotels can't be suitable for everyone. i'm so sorry this happened to you. you deserve better:) you are so strong!
I have a brother who has mild to moderate autism. He lives in a group home. A couple years ago, he was taken to the dentist for a cleaning. Things didn’t go well and they didn’t want him to come back. Now, he is taken to another dentist who uses general anesthesia. He is treated so much better. I’m so sorry that happen to you Molly. They need to step it up. Hugs. 🙂
I dont see how the security guard's actions are legal.
it's not!
It is so awful when you knew your legal rights, but were so stunned and exhausted and confused, that all those "rights" didn't do you any good. Those situations are extremely helpless and lifelong.
I am so sorry Molly 😢
Please complain, about everything, you deserve better
People who don't have deficits (including many psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers) don't understand how it can be traumatizing to get refused some form of support that we need because of a deficit. I too am stuck with trauma about that, because I became homeless in Canada winter after being fired for having asking accommodations at work (mind you I was working in a non profit adult litteracy center...). So much very bad stuff happened in consequence of that firing and homelessness (i.e. SA and more) that even "innocent" refusals for accommodation now put me in hypervigilance, flashback and nightmares for days. So I mostly don't ask for accommodations or support anymore.
Molly, I just want to confirm that you ARE creating change.
I just started grad school to become a therapist, and my main area of interest is body image issues - not just in terms of how we look, but also in terms of what our bodies can & can't do.
Your channel has really inspired my own interest in disability advocacy and working with disabled folks. A close friend of mine suffered a significant injury due to her mental health - while she didn't suffer any long-lasting consequences, she EASILY could have. It's a miracle that she is able-bodied today after what she went through.
Anyway, if nothing else, know that this able-bodied gal is passionate about working with and advocating for disabled folks. The disability community js the one and only minority that anyone can join, at any time. We should ALL care more about it.
The change is to have a legal document for guide dogs.
I am so so sorry you had to go through that. That is awful. Thankfully you don't sleep in the buff or you weren't fresh out of the bath. That is just wrong and not ok. I pray that change does come. Thank you for advocating for that change.
How utterly vulnerable someone would feel in that situation. Very understandable it has had a lasting impact.
Sending love to everyone with a service animal who has experienced denials. And, while you have absolutely no obligation to do so, thank you for sharing your experiences in hopes that people will do better in the future.
I was shocked that you mentioned three stories in the beginning, as going into traumatic memories like this is very difficult. I am so outraged that you were treated so badly, I can't imagine how scary that was for you.
As someone who worked in hotels managing front desks, I am absolutely horrified at whaf happened to you Molly. To just enter a room like that is terrifying and disgusting. I'm so grateful that you share stories like this so people can see what happens when we aren't educated about everyone's rights.
What needs to change is the law. These denials are illegal, but only in a way that means you can sue them for it, which most disabled people aren't in a position to pursue. It needs to be an arrestable offense. There needs to be real consequences to these businesses or nothing will ever change. If they just keep getting away with it they will never stop.
As a sighted person, that experience would have been absolutely terrifying. I can't imagine the extra layer of fear of not being able to see what was happening. I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I also completely understand your reasonings for your course of action after the fact. It's true what you said about not wanting to come off as being an angry minority. I fall under the umbrella of multiple minority groups, and the derogatory and bigoted comments that I see online on a daily basis... I don't want to say that it no longer phases me, but it's something that I've learned to live with. It's frustrating that someone trying to advocate for or defend themselves for simply existing can be dismissed as them being "too much" or "angry". I'm glad that you've grown your platform to what it is today, as you've used it to help so many people, so that situations like this happen less frequently. ❤
Unbelievable, this is so shocking! Outrageous, the fact that he came in the room is so crazy, you must have been petrified with fear and their "compensation " feels such a slap in the face like they don't take this seriously... I have no words... sending you lots of love ❤❤
Story starts at 6:40 (Have the tissues standing by) Thanks for sharing Molly!
I can understand not wanting to make a big scene about these things because, at least personally, it usually happens at a place I frequent and suddenly I feel alienated and under a microscope. There aren't many blind people to begin with, so that reputation of "difficult customer" will absolutely stick, and it's never my intention to "ruin" someone else's day.
But when it comes to my safety as a petite blind woman, I've had to be okay with advocating for myself when I'm severely uncomfortable or distressed because what I'm asking for is necessary to my functionality. Accommodations equate to basic consideration and respect to a disabed person, but ignorance to disability can cause potentially life threatening circumstances that shouldn't have happened in the first place.
I think even a sighted person would’ve been terrified having some big dude run into their hotel room alone while they were sleeping. Being blind? I can’t imagine.
As someone who has experienced this stuff first hand? It IS traumatizing.
Totally relate to the confusion and fear of being in a vulnerable state and half asleep. I have epilepsy and usually wake up from seizures completely confused, not realising I've had them and unable to control my emotions. I've usually had strangers be kind but even then it is terrifying to wake up and not know where you are and what's going on - I can't imagine how much harder that would be without being able to see. Thank you for all the work you do as an advocate and role model for living (thriving!) with disability
We want more stories.
But please, only when you are ready.
We love you, Molly!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Experiences like yours is the reason why I consider wearing a camera everywhere I go with my service dog 😓 Or like glasses with camera in them 🤓 I'm so tired of enduring this kind of abuse and trauma, and for other people to downplay it to being equal to two freaking breakfasts or less 😤 Or being gaslit into thinking it was no big deal or I must have misread the situation 🤯 With camera footage and especially audio recording, I at least can prove what happened, instead of the infuriating he said/she said dilemma 😵💫
Anyway - lots of love and hugs ❤
Thank you for sharing this story. And thank you for not forcing yourself to share the other two today
Hi, Molly. Don't be sorry. That was terrible, and this is how you feel, and your feelings should be validated, not negated. You are strong.
As a woman, I cannot imagine what you must have felt. And not being able to see… it’s just terrifying. I’m so furious for you. I’m sooo sorry Molly.
Learned Helplessness is a real psychological event that happens. Being met with situations/barriers repeatedly and then being met with one we can tackle makes it hard to actually surpass the one that IS realistically do-able. Being forced to face nearly impossible and traumatic situations, and then facing objectively ignorant but calm denials makes it hard to relax in the situations you CAN educate your way through. Thanks to you Molly I know the ADA laws and I am prepared to stand up for someone if it happens in my presence.
I am so sorry that you went through these horrible experiences. I hope the fact that you are such an inspiration because of what you went through and that you speak about those atrocious experiences so that others might have an easier time. You are an angel and so many people appreciate you! 🌟😇
Molly, you are so right when you mention that there is this strong man you can't see, you don't know the intentions of, is shouting at you about getting out of the room. That shit is scary.
It is so bad that businesses deny service dogs. It should be part of every job training that service dogs aren’t pets they are medical equipment. People need to be educated on the different type of service dogs and on the questions that they can ask. A place like a hotel if someone sees a dog in a non dog friendly hotel they should call the room and ask about the dog or they can ask about the next time you walk by the front desk because they know at some point you will by the desk again. If it was another guest that said something they should have been minding their own business. If it was a staff member that saw it they know at some point someone from the room will be walking by the desk and they can ask about it then. If they see it’s taking a long time for you to walk by the desk they should have ask the manager how to handle it. They should not be trying to kick someone out that said they have a guide dog. At the very least if they wanted to send someone to the room it shouldn’t have been a man. They should have at least sent another woman there because what if you were sleeping in your underwear. I would not want a man to see me in my underwear even if I can see him.
You always bring an important perspective to the table, and I value your influence on me personally. Seeing the world so to speak through your senses and through other's always has given me more perspective.
side note; 3:56
i know exactly how you feel Molly. Like hearing stories about your life like its for the first time. Epilepsy took almost my entire memory.. and forgetting is not coping, it feels like my memory loss/dissociation took away the chance for me to work through my trauma, i feel you.
sending love.😖❤
Holy crap. That is absolutely terrifying.
Yes, we have heard this story before. It was good to hear Mr Boy Friend chime in.
Molly I cried along with you, that is terrifying and so unacceptable, your feelings are valid. ❤