Van Friscia: Serpentine (Official Lyric Video)

Van Friscia's official lyric video for "Serpentine," from the album "Fallen Angel."
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ALBUM NOTES
“Fallen Angel” is a concept album released in 2024 by solo artist Van Friscia. In chronological order, it tells the story of Van’s grief journey from the untimely passing of his son, Tony, who died as a result of a car accident when he was just six months old.
Track listing:
Overture
Charmed Life
Tony’s theme
Blink of an Eye
The Haunting
Serpentine
Charmed-ish Life
Lily’s Theme
Todd “Van” Friscia - All Guitars/Bass/Vocals/Drum & Synth Programming
Mixed & Mastered by Dennis Ward at TrakSkak Studios / Kangaroo Ton Studios
SONG NOTES
There was a HUGE gap in time writing this tune vs. the others on the album. Whereas they had rough concepts laying around for years, Serpentine didn’t exist 6 months prior to release. I knew I needed something to bridge the gap between The Haunting’s misery and Charmed-ish Life’s redemption, and I also needed to talk about the long period in the middle where daily life wasn’t quite so punishing but still far from normal. I just couldn’t find the words or notes to do it.
My breakthrough finally came when I went back to my punk rock roots, opening up a whole new avenue that allowed me to write what I feel is the strongest song on the record. Once that was in place, I saw a path forward with the lyrics as well and everything came together quickly thereafter. Still, this was easily the worst writer’s block I’d ever experienced!
Lyrically, this stage of grief was really hard to describe…mostly functional, even joyful (especially with the birth of my daughter, Lily), but still racked with intense guilt and uncertainty about the healing process. Was I a monster for feeling joy after everything I’d been through? Did I spend enough time thinking about Tony? What if I forgot what he was like to be around; it’d be like he died twice over! Was any of this healing, or was I just suppressing bad memories? Every time I began pushing through to the other side, that snake was always there, coiling around & pulling me back in. In fact, most every thought of Tony was twisted into something dark, and I can’t accurately describe how hard it was to get through that. I still don’t know how it ever really happened.
Related, in another example of how this experience has broken me…when I see older pics of my daughter, who is perfectly happy and healthy, my first instinct is sadness. Not because of the “I don’t want her to grow up” thing some parents do (I’m vehemently against that; I have a kid who DIDN’T get to grow up and trust me, it sucks), but because I have to remind myself that, wait - Lily is still here. I can talk to her & hug her, and I get to watch her grow. I try hard not to take that for granted, but it’s a gut punch every time.
00:00: Intro
00:32: Verse 1
00:53: Prechorus 1
01:12: Chorus 1
01:33: Bridge Lead
01:43: Verse 2
02:03: Prechorus 2
02:23: Chorus 2
02:44: Guitar Solo
03:24: Chorus 3
03:54: Outro
LYRICS
VERSE
Hard crash, coming fast
Tough as nails and fragile as glass
Two-faced dichotomy
As the fire burns inside of me
One man, pounding sand
A bitter pill to swallow in hand
Purgatory's cleansing quell
Is it heaven, is it hell?
PRECHORUS
Never want you to feel like I'm not still missing you
Or ever think my feelings weren't true
But seasons change and memories fray, fade away
Holding on to you in shades of gray
CHORUS
And I still feel the pain
But the venom's not the same
So ashamed, so afraid
Let me never forget that you were real
You were here
Time goes on and I fear
If it's safe that I heal
Can I find peace and yet still hold you near?
Yeah
VERSE
Carry on, feels so wrong
Bipolar tears and then they're gone
Serpentine grip defeats
As the guilt builds up inside of me (inside of me)
Sunshine hits my eyes
Guiding light that blinds me in my plight
Slithering into my mind
As I stand here frozen, stuck in time
PRECHORUS
Never want you to feel like I'm not still missing you
Or ever think my feelings weren't true
But seasons change and memories fray, fade away
Holding on to you in shades of gray
CHORUS
And I still feel the pain
But the venom's not the same
Sinking fangs feed the shame
Let me never forget that you were real
You were here
Time goes on and I fear
If it's safe that I heal
Can I find peace and yet still hold you near?
CHORUS
And here comes the rain
Cause the demon's still not slain
Searing pain, bleeding shame
Yeah I see you, I feel you in my dreams
Slithering
Curled up tight, squeezing me
Struggling to break free
Unleash my grief and let me be
Serpentine
OUTRO
Serpentine
Hold on me
Struggling
To break free
Slithering
Torturing
Searing grief
Release me
Serpentine
Thanks for listening (and reading!)