I'm a former foster youth trying to make sense of everything that happened when I was in the system, and the fact that so little information is given to foster parents about a placement explains a lot. But why don't caseworkers spend more time to get a placement right? Issues like safety and behaviors are important, but it seems like there is no effort placed into determining if a kid would be a good fit within a family in terms of just fitting in. I was moved from one family who was ultra religious due to me refusing to go to church and other church activities and placed with a pastor's family who immediately said it wasn't going to work and I was moved again less than 2 weeks later. Both of those changes involved moving schools. My caseworker was entirely aware of my issues with the ultra religious families and told me "to make it work". She clearly didn't tell any of the foster families about this issue - they were utterly clueless when I arrived and started arguing with them over stuff they should have been aware of. My entire world back then was anime and manga - and all of the families I was placed with were ultra conservative and wouldn't let me watch anime or even Avatar: The Last Airbender. Hopefully things have changed now, but these videos give me very little hope that's true. But it does explain why every family I was placed with were so utterly clueless. I wish they had asked more questions so I didn't have to suffer living with them.
This is so frustrating for me to hear, especially given that in many jurisdictions, the county has a responsibility to provide transportation to your home school so you don't have to change school at all. Unfortunately, if your foster placement isn't advocating for you, how are you supposed to advocate for yourself. (I also find it frustrating that anyone would choose to provide foster care, then but their own preferences and values ahead of those of the child whose care has been entrusted to them. It's about the child, not the adult.)
@@KayoEll In most of the foster homes I was in, they likely were looking to adopt and even if they didn't adopt me, they would adopt other placements. A lot of the reasons I was given why I couldn't watch certain things was the other kids in the home would want to watch and the foster parents thought that would negatively impact them. So all I got was why it was bad to watch anime. One foster parents asked me to sit and pray with them every time I had the urge to watch anime - like it was some sort of addiction I needed to overcome. Everything was about their families and me joining their families not me or my bio family. The whole transport thing was just too far and I think it's less of a priority for older kids where reunification is no longer the goal. I finished 6th grade at my old school when I entered foster care - so I did get driven back to that school. I attended 2 different junior highs and 3 different high schools. I don't know if they assumed any of these would be short term and reunification was never possible, so going back to where I lived when put into foster care wasn't really necessary. The one foster family really wanted me to go to the private Christian school their bio daughter went to and were trying to get permission to send me there (and pay for it themselves), but that was rejected to avoid changing schools again - so at least that was something.
I had complete opposite experience I was going to kids church club for years and when in foster care the foster parents and caseworker would be against the religion my family had we were Methodist and the foster mom and caseworker would be that's not a real religion and foster children shouldn't know about anything but going to school and just obeying rules
I'd love to see a series self regulation examples for foster carers when feeling challenged with their role please. Love all the videos. You're doing amazing work
Parent of an eloper here. Terrifying reality. He has gotten out of schools twice and was naked in the creek in November a quarter of a mile away from the school. How was it handled?? With total deception on the part of the school. They never called me. Two days later I was forced into signing a waiver for his right to recess outdoors because that's where he escaped from.
I’ve been following your channel for a hot minute now. Hoping someday I can become a foster parent. just wanted to say thank you for all the information, it’s been enlightening to see what y’all do day to day
A lot of this seems like basic information that all potential foster parents should be given. It shouldn't be up to fosterers to guess what needs an incoming child may have. The only exception I could maybe see is in an emergency situation, but even then they should tell you what they *do* know and what major gaps there are, e.g. basic medical history.
Love how you always keep the kid’s best interests in mind instead of just “making it work”. Thanks again Laura for a great video :)
Ty for watching!
That's probably why Miss 13 is being moved; because the foster parents before Laura didn't ask those questions, and now it's not working.
I am 32 - and applying to be a foster parent in Ontario, Canada - Your videos have been really helpful!!
thank you for applying!!
I'm a former foster youth trying to make sense of everything that happened when I was in the system, and the fact that so little information is given to foster parents about a placement explains a lot. But why don't caseworkers spend more time to get a placement right? Issues like safety and behaviors are important, but it seems like there is no effort placed into determining if a kid would be a good fit within a family in terms of just fitting in. I was moved from one family who was ultra religious due to me refusing to go to church and other church activities and placed with a pastor's family who immediately said it wasn't going to work and I was moved again less than 2 weeks later. Both of those changes involved moving schools. My caseworker was entirely aware of my issues with the ultra religious families and told me "to make it work". She clearly didn't tell any of the foster families about this issue - they were utterly clueless when I arrived and started arguing with them over stuff they should have been aware of. My entire world back then was anime and manga - and all of the families I was placed with were ultra conservative and wouldn't let me watch anime or even Avatar: The Last Airbender. Hopefully things have changed now, but these videos give me very little hope that's true. But it does explain why every family I was placed with were so utterly clueless. I wish they had asked more questions so I didn't have to suffer living with them.
This is so frustrating for me to hear, especially given that in many jurisdictions, the county has a responsibility to provide transportation to your home school so you don't have to change school at all. Unfortunately, if your foster placement isn't advocating for you, how are you supposed to advocate for yourself.
(I also find it frustrating that anyone would choose to provide foster care, then but their own preferences and values ahead of those of the child whose care has been entrusted to them. It's about the child, not the adult.)
@@KayoEll In most of the foster homes I was in, they likely were looking to adopt and even if they didn't adopt me, they would adopt other placements. A lot of the reasons I was given why I couldn't watch certain things was the other kids in the home would want to watch and the foster parents thought that would negatively impact them. So all I got was why it was bad to watch anime. One foster parents asked me to sit and pray with them every time I had the urge to watch anime - like it was some sort of addiction I needed to overcome. Everything was about their families and me joining their families not me or my bio family. The whole transport thing was just too far and I think it's less of a priority for older kids where reunification is no longer the goal. I finished 6th grade at my old school when I entered foster care - so I did get driven back to that school. I attended 2 different junior highs and 3 different high schools. I don't know if they assumed any of these would be short term and reunification was never possible, so going back to where I lived when put into foster care wasn't really necessary. The one foster family really wanted me to go to the private Christian school their bio daughter went to and were trying to get permission to send me there (and pay for it themselves), but that was rejected to avoid changing schools again - so at least that was something.
I had complete opposite experience I was going to kids church club for years and when in foster care the foster parents and caseworker would be against the religion my family had we were Methodist and the foster mom and caseworker would be that's not a real religion and foster children shouldn't know about anything but going to school and just obeying rules
I'd love to see a series self regulation examples for foster carers when feeling challenged with their role please. Love all the videos. You're doing amazing work
Oh yes same. I wanna foster but Im afraid I could accidentally slip and fall back to how my own parents tried to solve conflicts, which wasnt healthy.
I am not in the financial state to be a foster parent, but I really want to be a Big Sister. Your videos are so helpful. Thank you fir all you do!
Parent of an eloper here. Terrifying reality. He has gotten out of schools twice and was naked in the creek in November a quarter of a mile away from the school. How was it handled?? With total deception on the part of the school. They never called me. Two days later I was forced into signing a waiver for his right to recess outdoors because that's where he escaped from.
That sucks. Sad to hear the school deceived you
Thanks for this. We live on a Creek and Lord willing we will be fostering in the coming years
I’ve been following your channel for a hot minute now. Hoping someday I can become a foster parent. just wanted to say thank you for all the information, it’s been enlightening to see what y’all do day to day
A lot of this seems like basic information that all potential foster parents should be given. It shouldn't be up to fosterers to guess what needs an incoming child may have.
The only exception I could maybe see is in an emergency situation, but even then they should tell you what they *do* know and what major gaps there are, e.g. basic medical history.
why the brackets in the subtitles?
That’s the voice over part