Why being nice can kill you? Dr. Gabor Mate explores the dangers of excessive niceness
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- Опубликовано: 7 июн 2024
- Why being nice can kill you? Dr. Gabor Mate explores the dangers of excessive niceness
In "Being Nice Can Kill You," Dr. Gabor Mate explores the hidden dangers of excessive niceness and how it can harm an individual's health and well-being. He explains how prioritizing others above oneself can lead to neglecting one's own needs and desires, resulting in physical and mental exhaustion, burnout, and chronic health problems.
Dr. Mate highlights how being too nice can make it difficult for individuals to set boundaries, say "no" when necessary, or stand up for themselves when mistreated, leading to overwhelming stress and even resentment. He also notes how excessively nice individuals may attract toxic relationships, leading to emotional turmoil and stress.
Moreover, Dr. Mate discusses how being too nice can lead to difficulty expressing one's own emotions or needs, which can lead to bottling up feelings that result in anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues. He also notes how excessive niceness can contribute to self-criticism and perfectionism, leading to high levels of stress and anxiety as individuals strive to meet unrealistic expectations or standards to please others.
Overall, Dr. Mate's work sheds light on the importance of finding a balance between being kind and compassionate towards others while also prioritizing one's own health and well-being. His insights serve as a reminder to individuals that taking care of oneself is a necessary step towards leading a fulfilling and healthy life.
This video is owned by @AndreDuqum I would like to credit him to this video you can find the original video on his channel and learn more about his passion on his website: www.knowthyself.one/
You can also buy Dr Gabor Mates book in Amazon: amzn.to/434h7Wm
The power of words to control our emotions can be therapeutic to our mental health;
✅ “I'm here for you.”
✅ “You are not alone.”
✅ “You are worthy and deserving.”
✅ “You don't have to apologize.”
✅ “There is treatment available to you…”
✅ “You are strong!.”
You can buy his book : (The Myth Of Normal) amzn.to/3F0faQg
I suffer from bipolar disorder. There are times that I experienced cyclical remission through music and motivational inspirational speech I was able to survive every stage of my cyclical depression. Inside Serene is my alter ego - my trusted friend a gatekeeper of my pandora's box of mindfulness that helps me overcome mental struggles.
" We must be willing to encounter darkness and despair when they come up and face them, over and over again if need be, without running away or numbing ourselves in the thousands of ways we conjure up to avoid the unavoidable". - By Jon Kabat-Zinn
✅ Be empowered ✅ Be intentional ✅ Be in control
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As a neuroscience student what he has done is fascinating! Not only did I burst in tears while I was reading his book but I surrendered to the pain and anger that was shaping all my behaviours… one of them being too “ compassionate” and too “understanding”. Trauma can sneak in your behaviours in very mysterious confusing ways but this book makes Seeing,feeling and healing trauma very clear
Compassion and understanding are needed and really great ... as long as you don't suppress your true feelings.
ok... so you give an answer as a student ..... Wishing u all the best at your continuing studies
Thank you Dr Gabor.I very much relate to what you have been saying.I wish so much kindness
I study all of the things you have talked about.Belive me!.
Which book?
What I hate is I’m always being compassionate, but don’t seem to get it back. Making me not giving 2 fks anymore.
“They’re not trying to kill you they just don’t care if you die”
Soooo true!
I have grown to hate being referred to as a "nice guy" and hearing the cliche "Nice guys finish last." I agree, being excessive nice turns a person into a doormat who is lives in constant fear of making someone angry.
I am sorry. Thank You for explaining. My belated also hated being referred to the exact same way. I hope people will see you as you and not what they want to see.
Nice people get angry and they at least try to show by example that they aren't discriminating, unpleasant or a maniac looking for reparations by violence the people who talk about vibrations and positivity 😂 what would you call them? That's worse than nice because it takes effort to be nice rather than show disgust for people with looks body language and attitude I mean who's showing their card's? The negative is always on time like a koo koo clock with some off the wall shit thinking they're cool as ice but soon as someone like me walks in they start sweating gathering up their gang stalkers talking bout this one is Solid it going to take everyone to break him ahh yall fugazi mob know what up yall can't stand firm unless they holding you up yall can't sit right butt hurt my presence is supernatural you can't handle the effortless. You don't feel like the main man in reality 😂
Tell me about it .
I can say enough is enough and I don’t have to be perfect- as a way of walking out of a toxic relationship
Not being nice...being TOO nice!
Human’s have also created stress & mental illness in all other species which is unforgivable in my view
That's true, becoming a toxic community causing mental illness and other diseases
OMG I love his voice, he makes you feel safe ❤️
The amount of information available on RUclips is phenomenal !!!
❤
Basically how the whole internet was supposed to be used in general, but here we are I guess 💁♀️
@@LighthouseSun
Yes that is true but RUclips as a platform is excellent due to the content available.
I still use the internet to search information and book flights etc.
I don’t use Facebook or Twitter or Instagram etc. I like Wikipedia.
I am 54 and I like the long form videos.
😵💫
@@wallybingbang4350 i guess my point wasn't clear) I meant that internet was supposed to be a huge storage of usefull informstion with easy access for people all over the world but turned into a huge trash bin, basically.
@@LighthouseSun
The useful information is still available. Avoid the trash. It's like avoiding shit people and meeting interesting people.
Maybe a strange analogy but that's a thought that crossed my mind.
Have a nice day 😃
33:00 niceness talk
This interview was so beautifully done! I love the relaxation vibe, the intimate conversation, and the authentic connection between you two. Your questions were well-spoken and eloquently posed to such a gigant of psych health. Thank you!🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Yes indeed ❤
Yes. The desire for freedom
Thank you. I could listen to these gentleman all day. Could the editors please check the subtitles, some of the words are incorrect.
Thank you and your feedback greatly appreciated ❤️
This man is such a blessing. I so resonate with what he shares. Thank you for interviewing him. I have listened to many videos of his talks. More would be most greatly appreciated.
Great interview. Im really enjoying Gabor at present in terms of his world view which has helped me recently very much.
The trouble with science is, it does not have the technology to truly measure or "sense" human emotion or energy yet, but we have our awareness, bodies amd hearts to do so. This we must listen to.
Blessings All
You really need be tagging the original source
I hate confrontation.
I remember when America was threatening to start the war in Iraq, millions of people around the world were protesting and Bush (and others) ignored those huge, global protests and went to war anyway. It's good to know that those millions of people didn't just buy into it but did what they could to protest against it... not realising that the people matter nought to these politicians!
large groups of people protest every war, those protestors didnt know if the war was necessary or not, the top officials from all parties and top experts at that time who knew more about it than anybody, believed there were WMD's and that the world would be safer if we invaded Iraq, it was an unfortunate mistake and so far nothing has come out to prove it was anything other than that.
Loved watching the deep and authentic conversation ....so many learnings 👏
Dziękujemy.
I would love to know Dr Mate's thoughts on the benefit of LENS neurofeedback therapy to treat trauma issues in the brain. Thank you for this interview.
Thank you so much for this profound and meaningful discussion. ❤️
The person conducting the interview is André Duqum. This excerpt was borrowed from André's RUclips channel called Know Thyself.
I'm glad the doctor put the kibosh on that "African American" nonsense and said "black Americans".
I entirely agree with Dr Gabor & i think that modern day education has a lot to answer for. It’s superficial & meaningless @ times but we must discuss the possible solutions to correct the dilemmas we face as a mixed cultured society to address them rather than just talk about all the negatives. There are many positives in modern day society as well. Most technologies are a double edged sword. As a specie, from the beginning we seem to have displayed aggressive & destructive behaviour to compensate for our creativity. Of course, we have brutalised & tortured every aspect of nature, being at the very pinnacle of the food chain. What’s more is we are the biggest hypocrites on the the planet.
BUT WHAT IS THE SOLUTION? Reformed education & educationalists are the initial corrections required. Military money should be poured into education & the best humans to think outside the box (for a change)!
very well said I truly agree with your insights
It's a great ciencia and overall observation of medicine In the world hipertension and the future generations. Now how great the observation of the importance of one be oneself and talk instead of accept in silence.
Amazing man!
Glad you think so! ❤️
The subtitles are wrong in many an instance :( Somebody review and correct them?
I need to have a conversation with the great Dr. I think it would help so much
Try to connect with him on his website drgabormate.com/
he's my man
me too ❤️
If you want to see the full interview, André Duqum is the person conducting the interview and Know Thyself is the name of his RUclips channel.
I would like to translate it to Polish language to make it more accessable. How can I do it?
I've always been a good person and been nice in general. I got with a girl who had alot of issues. I spent alot of time compromising my own feelings to cater to her. 3 yrs ago i started having seizures. The told me stress was a major trigger for my seizures. I lost everything now my career my freedom my health and now my relationship. I caught her having an affair a few months ago. My seizures went from every 3 months to 3 a week sometimes. I've always wondered if this was the cause of my seizures
Please, a large number of the subtitles is wrong, in almost every sentence. It diminishes the experience enormously. Can that be fixed please? Thank you.
What happened to the last bit of the interview?
- It just got cut at the point when he was explaining when in the childhood he realised he wasn’t wanted… and then silence and darkness, till the end for over a minute…
- Was this intentional?
Let the man speak
5:50
💯🙏💙🩵💙🙏 Dr Gabor Mate. 🌸you mean the world 🌎 to me 🌸🤗🤗🤗😘❣️
I love dr Mate but only thing that bader me is he spikes to fast!
Subtitles need a bit of work.
18:32
Most of the stuff he’s talks about many of us minorities from large cities in the states haven known a lot what he speaks about specially the African and indigenous ppl of Americas with American education.
This country and it’s overseas partners with political pull on this land have always known about the strategic plans and system build to make this a chaotic melting pot
so true ❗
Absolutely they know exactly what they've done it's Narcissistic Behavior at its best but the Universe see all & always keep score.
I wanted to hear what Dr Mate had to say, not you, it would be better if you was not part of the interview.
I thought it was an excellent interview.
Its social engineering!
Too much commercial...
That gives us permission to be assholes?
Cool!
Lol, NO...he should’ve said Being TOO nice...
Something you don't need to worry about, Gabor Mate.
It staggers me how someone so connected to the self and clearly, such a great mind has fallen for the climate scam
Peter, can you link your comment to scientific studies that prove your comment. I live in the far north and I can tell you no one up here believes climate change is a hoax.
@@carolmarks8210 What am I yout daddy? Do your own research. Start by looking up what percentage of the earths atmosphere is made up of Co2
He might be intelligent but he is also human. No one has completely escaped all the lies we have been fed throughout our whole lives. No one is capable of unravelling the whole truth in one lifetime.
When AllahSWT exacts his Punishments He is Being Nice because there is nothing more agreeable in the Universe than Justice. All humans are designed with the capacity to calibrate and equilibrate towards a state of Justice. But invariably, the ones that impose upon the other through spying , stalking and eavesdropping - these hypocrites and munafiqs have lost the 'balance' set exclusively to Allah's Scales of Justice. And so, they sink to a place of desolation -nicely removed from the Shade and Shower of Allah's Blessings.
Ahh he lost me when he undressed his lack of knowledge or biased about climate change.
what is your perspective on climate change?
Yep. Heard it before too