Midnight Screenings - Collateral Beauty
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
- Subscribe: / stonedgremlinproductions
Website: www.thecinemasn...
Brad Twitter: @thecinemasnob
Sarah Twitter: @boxcar_sarah
Brad and Sarah review the Will Smith film Collateral Beauty.
"This movie is worse than actual wheelchair suicide!"
We've got a quote for the DVD cover, folks!
When a guy whose favorite film is Caligula calls your film trashy...you know you screwed up.
Oddly enough, Helen Mirren was in both movies
Moral of the story: Get over your depression of having a dead child or your friends and coworkers will try to trick you into being committed into a mental institute.
You know, the plot of this movie could be easily rewritten as a "Tales from the Crypt" episode: a delusional emo business guy is all reclusive and lonely and is visited by human forms of Love, Time and Death and he's forced by the latter to kill himself. Then the twist is that Love, Time, and Death are actually actors paid by his co-workers to fool him and cause his death for their schemes. But then in the end the classic Tales from the Crypt karma happens with the greedy co-workers getting visited by the actual manifestations of the three things who royally fuck them up for what they did.
👀 ❤️
As a movie or episode. Yes.
Better than season 7, except the hotel and animated pig ones.
I'm reminded of a horror anthology movie from like the 70s, it was one of those UK movies with like Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing telling stories to each other on a train. One story was about a man (Peter Cushing) who is constantly harrassed by this guy but he manages to ignore it. It comes to a point where the guy sends the old man a letter telling him to kill himself but how it's written makes it think that his family is telling him this and that actually sends him over the edge and he does kill himself. He then comes back as a zombie, breaks into the asshole guys house and does something to him, next morning, the cops are investigating the murder and they find a letter where it just talks about how much of a dick the guy was and it ends with something to the effect of "Now I know you have no..." and underneath that, at the bottom of the letter is the paper wrapped around the guys heart.
I cried more in the ads before the trailers than I did in the movie. That Frankenstein Apple ad makes me very emotional
I sobbed like a baby when I first saw the Frankenstein commercial XD
MnMsandOreos just watched it and damn. I want a full length movie version of that commercial
omg yes someone ought to make a full length movie based on that. i fully endorse that existing.
I would watch it!
It would be better than this. At least it would have a interesting and not messed up concept.
"At least wheelchair suicide had a few funny moments." -Sarah 2016
I love when Brad really tears into a bad movie. It's endlessly entertaining
Ever since I saw Chris Stuckmanns review of this film, and he explained how much of a lie the trailer was, I couldn't wait for you guys to watch it.
same. i saw the trailer for this film at moana and i rolled my eyes thinking it was going to be a shitty hallmark movie fronted by oscar winners. then i saw stuckmann's review and realized it was so much worse.
Lunar Imperium
Ditto. It sounds even worse than Stuckman said.
Yep yep and yep to that it'll make a nice Christmas tax writeoff as a complete loss. What a waste of rich resources from every angle
I wanted to go see this but my seats were in the front row and next to the speakers. I don't know if I can enjoy a film when it's so extremely loud and incredibly close.
Douglas Butcher Hahahaha, I see what you did there.
I just want to show my appreciation for this, as someone who has continually been trying to configure a joke about that movie's title.
*****
I'm not sure what you think ironic means.
*****
I'm not sure of the relevance of how many awards it won, I mean.
Douglas Butcher I get it!
All I could think when I saw this trailer was "Did Will Smith go up to his agent after Seven Pounds and say 'No, not shitty enough. I need this exact movie but dumber'"?
I haven't seen the movie, but Mathew Buck did a Bad Movie Beatdown episode on it where he explained that he disliked it because beyond it just being a dull film, it portrayed Will Smith's character's suicide as being some incredibly noble thing, which he found unpleasant since he knew someone who committed suicide and he didn't like the idea of killing yourself being portrayed so simply positively.
It's been a while since I saw the review so I didn't do a great job explaining his feelings on it, but if you want to understand why someone might dislike it, I'd watch it.
mr. Wldasoldmysoul4pussyasateen
He doesn't "hate suicide". He had a friend who committed suicide and ultimately thought that the film didn't treat the subject with the appropriate gravity.
The grief in his eyes wasn't acting, he was depressed by how bad the movie is.
"Fuck, I really should've been in Independence Day: Resurgence after all. At least that movie didn't suck as hard as this Oscar bait abortion".
"Oscar bait abortion." WOW. LOLOLOL.
it still sucked hard tho...
it still sucked hard tho...
GasmaskAvenger Yeah, it's not worse to me. Why? Because I didn't wait 20 years of my life for Collateral Beauty!
After seeing the commercials I knew it was gonna be some try-hard Oscar bait movie, but I was not expecting this.
"Naht like this...naht like this" Switch dies thanx Cypher lol
maugos
I said when I saw the trailer... so will smith is oscarbaiting, who knows could be ok... I didn't expect this
Every year we always get at least one film that is blatant Oscar bait but then get's destroyed critically
Brad looking so good here. The bald head and goatee looks great with the black jacket and white shirt. He just looks very cool in this video
Seeing Sarah in a Midnight Screenings review always makes my day. :)
Hang in there Will Smith, Leo had to get ripped apart by a bear to get an Oscar.
My favorite moment in this review is Sara imitating Will Smith's "I don't want to eat that" sad face. Also I think it would have been more interesting if Helen Mirren were Time, Keira Knightley were Death, and Michael Pena were Love. Because, seriously, nothing about the way they're cast now is original. Of course they're going to have the oldest person in the cast play Death! What else would she play?
A fish 🐠?
"at least wheelchair suicide had its funny moments" - one of the best lines i've heard all year
I read the script for this movie when the first trailer hit.
You have no idea how cathartic the reviews for this movie have been.
greendaythebeatles totally
greendaythebeatles
Allan Loeb received $2 million for this beauty. In other news, Allan Loeb will be receiving an honorary Best Head award at the Oscars.
The trailers for this movie seem to imply it's telling what would be a rather interesting story. A grieving man being visited and spoken to by anthropomorphised concepts like time, death, and love, learning that they're concepts that man may never fully understand yet they are what make life worth living as they remind us that we should seek to live a fulfilled life. If told properly it could be a beautiful story.
The trailers lied. WOW did they lie. Talking like, "Brian Cranston is the star of Godzilla"/ Case 39/"Forbidden Kingdom doesn't star a white boy" lied.
It's kind of like the "movie 43" thing where you ask yourself "what did they have on these actors to make them do this movie?"
Probably exactly the type of screening I needed today. Thanks.
Why not just MAKE the movie like it looks in trailers instead of tricking everyone? Just have Will Smith talk to the ghosts of Christmas or whatever.
Cameron Duvall Trailers are made AFTER movies usually. They made a trailer out of a really shit film.
Forgive me for asking what may be a dumb question, but...If Will Smith is so distraught with grief that he can barely function, why do they need to engage in an elaborate ruse (or at least what they thought was a ruse) to have him declared mentally incompetent? Wouldn't the actual stuff be enough to go before a judge and be like, "yeah, he's the majority shareholder, but the guy is just gone, can we address this before the company goes under?" Of course, the obvious answer is if they did that there wouldn't be a movie, but I'm wondering if it was ever addressed in-universe.
psycher7 Yeah....just record his domino making...it'd be a little unethical, but it would be for Smith's own good.
The problem with movies like this is that they don't have any idea how anything actually works. They want it to feel real, but that only takes you out of it when you are like "Wait that isn't how shit works".
"This movie doesn't know how movies work" - Brad Jones
Quote of the YEAR.
With the right director (like Mike Judge or Armando Iannucci), the movie's basic concept would make a great pitch-black comedy.
Hopefully this will get a Snob episode after he does them on Gods of Egypt and Pan.
The more I watch of this Screening, the more fascinated I become.
The writer of Collateral Beauty, Allan Loeb (Just Go With It, 21, Wall Street: Monet Never Sleeps), his Trivia reads: "In 2008, Allan Loeb paid $2.03 million for a home in the Hollywood Hills, which he would put another $500,000 into in renovations. By 2014, Loeb had moved to a new home in Venice Beach and placed his Hills home on the market for $1.99 million."
And I can't help but to think the next update will be: Loeb now resides in an apartment in Springfield, Illinois.
"This movie has no idea how MOVIES work."
- Brad Jones, thecinemasnob.com.
Now THAT'S a box quote.
Grief-porn, dead-baby sadness, fucking manipulation - got it. Awesome review - thanks.
There are points when the shadow behind Brad's head gives him the most hilarious haircuts and now I wish he was actually wearing a Gary Oldman wig
This why I love your reviews. You guys can actually disagree with eachother. Like Will Smith's acting
I'm really glad you covered spoilers! I hate it when reviewers shit on a movie to the point where their audience almost certainly won't see it, but then leave me hanging on what super ridiculous ending it had.
...'"Wheelchair Suicide"? Ah, you mean 'Me Before You'.
I love Will Smith but my God, I'm starting to realize the thing he's really good at is elevating B rated comedic action films
10:24 "it's sooo fucking clever...oh, BLOW ME!" i literally had to pause the video for like 3 straight minutes, i was laughing so hard. 😂
The guy who wrote this also wrote a couple of Kevin James movies, an Adam Sandler movie, and a Miley Cyrus movie.
How can I take this movie seriously when the writer wrote THOSE movies.
I'm guessing this makes your typical Hallmark movie of the week look like a masterpiece?
Honestly I'm tired of seeing Will Smith in these depressing melo-dramas. The dude really shines when he's in comedies and the occasional action film. We don't need to see him in movies involving dead babies or him killing himself with a jellyfish to donate organs. Just no, man.
Headbanger142 haha seems like that's all Will Smith do now is Melo dramas...then again watch out for AFTER EARTH 2 LOL
He doesn't care what he shines in anymore. All he cares about is if he'll get an Oscar and lots of money for it. I don't have much respect for him anymore.
Headbanger142 agreed we need to see that fresh prince will smith again
Headbanger142 I don't know; the man wants an Oscar/doesn't want to be typecast. I think he can be fine in dramas, the problem is that he just picks really shitty ones.
"Tell da tooth..---->tell da tooth". He was a great dentist last year
Will Smith's attempts at getting an Oscar are MUCH worse than Leo's. I mean some people may not like the Revenant but overall it's not this.
Overall The Revenant was amazing; the people bashing it are (thankfully) in a slim minority.
Seeing them bundled up makes me glad I'm in Florida.
this is one of my favorite midnight screenings, just hearing you this exploitative piece of crap is amazing
Just got round to this film a couple of days ago...this review is 110% accurate. I winced when i first saw the pretentious title, it's so much worse. I suppose the twist that they're really invisible angels or something means they don't have to digitally remove actors, but then makes other stuff not make sense. It goes from Oscar bait to nonsensical.DIE DIE DIE
To add insult to injury, I got the trailer as the ad both before and during this video. Yay!...
Again Brad provides a public service by warning us away from another stinky pile. Thanks Brad and Sarah!
Thank you for this lovely Christmas gift, Brad.
I'm here because my brother suggested this one for our weekly bad movies night and am ashamed I didn't think about that PoV shot being in universe. What's most sickening to me is this Hollywood trend of using killing kids as a plot device. Tonight we're doing The Identical. Thanks, Brad!
I ordered Pizza just for this xD
AstraVex Pizza Hut, Little Caesars, or Dominos?
cool i on the other hand got Thai food for this
IT WAS DOMINOS!
Sarah's face at 4:35 should have been the thumbnail 😂
"[...] *really* sad, dead-baby sad"
"[...] sad fucking dead babies!"
Can we have dead babies in every midnight screening from now on? It's morbid, but hilarious
Smith's last attempt at Oscar bait was the pretentious, miserable, and downright vile Seven Pounds. Worse the movie promoted suicide and portrayed it as heroic. Give it up Smith instead of Oscar bait try actually picking scripts that don't suck. Then again this is the guy that passed up Django Unchained for After Earth
Loudmouth Reviews He also passed up the matrix for wild wild west.
Loudmouth Reviews Pretty sure Will had high hopes for Concussion and that was far more recent.
I didn't think Concussion was poorly made or acted, it was just boring. You could have gotten the same story by reading the Wikipedia entry on the doctor who discovered CTE.
"she was an actor playing an actor" god damn it! now i wanna watch Synecdoche New York again!
I have this strange reaction to emotions in media.
I can get pretty emotional, I can get water-eyed, but sometimes, a piece of media (movie, book, game, whatever) really tries to force you to feel something. If they really hammer on an emotional point, I get the opposite reaction of being stubborn and either not carring or being cynical to the point of cruelty.
Usually Oscar Bait makes me cheer for the villain. Even if it's just general grief or inevitability of cosmic entropy.
Probably not the best movie to take a new mother to Brad ! But, ah, Sarah, so lovely, brightens up any review.
as a person who takes the NYC subway. no no one would stop anyone doing what they're doing
Will Smith... needs to collab with Quentin Tarantino. Because I feel like his career was shot in the face and its brains are all over the car seat.
Sambou Jaiteh He had the chance and said no.
Kevin H. Pilgrim Really?
sofia llerena he was supposed to be Django
Sambou Jaiteh So, Tarantino is THE ONLY good director that can sace him?
Miss X Nah. There are plenty of directors that could revive his career, but Tarantino is particularly famous for doing it with many actors.
If he ever hooked up with Paul Thomas Anderson, he'd get an instant Oscar nod. David Fincher somehow turned Tyler Perry into a good actor. Any good director can squeeze out a good perfornance from an actor. Will Smith is already a good actor. He needs a good movie behind him.
Myself and a friend are actually super psyched to see this. We both know it's going to be bad... like, epic bad... but that's kind of the point. We're just intrigued to see a film that has this kind of plot. Only problems are A) We would technically be supporting the script financially and B) Our laughter might be distracting / disrespectful to those who are genuinely buying into the cheese.
Is it not even Mystery Science Theater 3000 worthy?
I wanted to see this based on the trailer, but when I read a review & learned about the theater troupe I was fucking out.
Going in Style is an old movie that the late great George Burns made. My mother made me see it. And I agree with them. Why not rob a bank. It sure as hell beats sitting in a nursing home waiting to die.
Remember when actors got together to make a movie that was fun, like Cannonball Run?
Can't wait for the Cinema Snob review of this!
Can't we just give Will Smith an Oscar so he can be done with it and he can go back to action flicks.
I was looking forward to this movie a hell of a lot more than rogue one. Your review of it that is, not the movie itself
Hope this doesn't get taken the wrong way, but I enjoy the hell out of Brad's misery 😆
There are 2 kind of people in the world. Those who think Die Hard is the best Christmas movie and those that are wrong.
I live in NYC and go on subways all the time. I've seem people yell at another over the phone, but I've only seen people yell at each other once and when that happened, like 3 people intervened at varying levels. I'm sure it's not impossible, I'm usually in Manhattan and sometimes Brooklyn, I might not be entirely correct but I'm inclined to chalk it up to yet another thing the movie doesn't understand.
What about Batman Returns? If Die Hard can count as a Christmas movie, surely that can too!
Fuck yes Batman Returns! :)
That's personally my favorite Batman film, it felt the most "Batman-y"
Ersatz Person Batman Returns is fucking awesome. Honestly, Burton's Batman and Batman Forever are the only Batman movies I actually like (Batman Forever as a guilty pleasure. Reminds me of the tone of the 60s show).
Props dude that's the first Batman movie I saw in theaters
I have photos of myself with Keaton, and Phiffer next to one of the Ducks that Penquin travels in. I love that fucking movie and can't believe how many people shit on it.
Ersatz Person I dunno why but action movies set in Christmas are so charming to me, like Shane Black's movies.
As of right now it's at 14% on Rotten Tomatoes
adam fink Too high.
It's really telling about a movie when The Freaking COUNTRY BEARS has a better score on Rotten Tomatoes.
adam fink and that movie sucked.
@@cybertek3188 You shut your mouth. Country Bears is awesome.
I have been waiting for this since Stuckmans review.
My reaction after trailer was "It's either Cloud Atlas or it's going to fly into fucking oblivion at the speed of light"
Moral of the story: Fuck Collateral Beauty, and just watch Winter's Tale again.
As with "Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte", you despise the schemers' heartless greed and victimizing of a mentally unwell protagonist. I love Brad's rage here, because I hate these kinds of films.
"Here's how that's solved, Edward Norton should just slap upside the back of her head."
Funny, that's exactly how I get about Emma Stone's character in Birdman.
I found the trailers kinda interesting since the concept sounded like it could be a decent story but it's a good thing I did not see it.
So it's like that movie where Will Smith tries to kill himself with a jellyfish?
Even less hair now too :(
My response to the trailer for this film was "Oh Fuck You Will!"
TSNeph Mine too.
Went to see this because I was out with friends late at the Mall of America, and there were no more showings of Rogue One that night. It was either going to see this or re-watching Moana, which in hindsight I should have opted for, but I didn't want to sit around doing nothing for and hour and a half to wait for Moana. The trailer seemed interesting, sort of akin to A Christmas Carol, so I was optimistic.
Definitely not what I was hoping for. Should have waited that extra hour and a half for Moana. Oh well... I saw Rogue One a couple days after, which certainly helped to erase this film from the forefront of my mind.
So Will Smith should've taken a pay cut to appear in Independence Day 2: Independenter, instead of this.
Oh boy oh boy. Let me get my booze and popcorn ready.
Nomnom to all of that don't forget the cheeeese
When I watched this: some Baileys with coffee. Now, nothing but now I want more Bailey's.
As an Internet person, I can't let you do that to yourself.
(takes away popcorn and gives you a 2L of Hard Root Beer)
The advertisement for this film played just before the review. Even though I don't own one, I felt my fingers twitch and my hand reach reflexively toward the drawer where a gun should have been...
My aunt loves this movie, and my mom thought it was great. How can anyone take this movie seriously? Why and how does a divorced couple act like total strangers? Why are the three actors implied to actually be love, time, and death when they've been shown interacting with other characters? Why is it important that the old actress was next to Will Smith's wife at the time of their daughter's death? And what the fuck is collateral beauty?
So if Brads new girlfriend and Offscreen Lettie both watch the same film, would they have to like... both lay down in the back seat at the same time? That sounds like it'd be super uncomfortable.
KamekAdvance Brad a new lady in his life?
I had no idea.
Good for him.
I'd like to see the two of them do a review... it'd just be a continuous shot of the empty front seats and silence for 40 minutes. ;)
joshnickerson i hope they do that. just forty min of an empty car.
The thumbnail sums it up very nicely.
Wow, the plot was way more horrifying than I expected from the trailers.
There is an old woman who goes to church with my parents who husband died two years ago. They were both the nicest people I've ever known, the kind that you feel like a better person for having met them. She is excited to see this and now I have to tell her the awful truth that the trailers lied to her.
If this film had Death, Desire, and Destruction from the Sandman series, it would be worth watching.
6:03 Can't believe you shed tears for this movie Sarah
Well... That thumbnail doesn't look good. I wonder how it turned out....
I was so excited to see this review being up. Oscar bait Will Smith movies are always friggen hilarious.
This movie reminds me of that sesame street Christmas special where everyone is posing as the ghost of Christmas to Oscar and making him feel back about a kitten that didn't actually die but told him it did.
Ooo, I love that scarf!
Are we likely to see a snob episode on this film in the future?
Because that would be awesome :D
In all honesty, when Brad said that there was one person he would recommend watching this movie to, I thought he was going to say Jake.
Who?
Stoned Gremlin Productions Yikes! O_O
Stoned Gremlin Productions
Lol
So basically, someone saw that "Every Oscar-Winning Movie Ever Made" fake trailer and decided to make the actual movie?
(ten minutes later)
...You know what, that would actually be a good idea in comparison.
Thanks for the warning. I've been through that sort of grief. I know other people who have been through that grief. Whoever wrote this, whoever green-lighted this, oh, my God - haven't they ever lost anyone? If so, why didn't they see that what you're describing in this film is pure bs? I can't help thinking that the end should have had him telling them off and kicking them out of his life. Sounds like a horribly offensive movie.
I need a .gif of Sarah's face at 4:36. Amazing. 😆
This review is just what I was hoping to see.
Cheers!
The novel that Die Hard's based on, is set during Christmas Eve.
I have a feeling it was literally a Hallmark script they happened to get names under.
Possible ad line for "Collateral Beauty": "Collateral Beauty will make you want to inflict collateral damage!!!"-Midnight Screenings.
Like many people here I knew this was going to be a flaming wreck when I saw the trailer, but I didn't expect it would be *this* bad. I might actually have to go see it now.
My family got tickets for Passengers at the upscale theater in town for my birthday, back when we thought it was going to be good. (Rogue One was sold out and La La Land's not there yet.) Now, knowing that I have set myself up for something sure to be insane, I am now holding on to hope that it will be some Winter's Tale/Jupiter Ascending craziness. If I hadn't gone ahead and jumped the gun on tickets, I probably would never see it, but now that I'm roped in, I'm hopelessly intrigued for the What-the-Fuck-Hollywood that surely awaits.