Boss said She helped previous guy at my position move out of company. While doing meeting with me alone In my performance evaluation: Do you want to join “ she took name of competitor company”
My "manager" threw a Christmas party and invited another department. He then informed us that the party was "not for us". We were just there to work the party. Oh, and we also had to "donate" money to pay for it.
I hate that last one. Sigh. I gave customers that love my work, but it really tries to break your spirit. Other than the dating issue, I have heard it all.
Boss and I were conversing on strength and health issues of myself and another coworker (organ failure and cancer), which devolved into a contemptible sigh/ugh followed by, “all you sick people”.
About 15 years ago my former boss said this to me after the company Christmas party: "Your wife is really attractive. You could probably make a lot of money pimping her out." He also said "My wife said I should treat you better so you don't leave. But I don't think you have anywhere to go." A former coworker sued him. And won big time.
I was in a toxic work environment for several years prior to my current job. Took me over a year to get my self esteem back and self worth. A lot of gas lighting , lack of boundaries, etc.
I used to have a boss who constantly shouted at me. She would criticise me in front of everyone and undermine me at any chance. I ended up quitting and leaving the company. I told HR about the experience and also made a massive complaint during the exit interview. But they did nothing about it. Apparently dozens of people complaint about her but the company just ended up promoting her.
Corporate psychopaths get away with this every day. My boss screams at me all the time so I'm looking for a new job because I know HR and upper management won't do anything.
When you have to eat at certain intervals, having a boss say he can just "power through it" when he works through lunch is rude. And for a diabetic, timing of meals is a safety issue.
Right. I’ve had coworkers with those issues and this one guy almost passed out just because we (at a staff lunch) had a long wait for our food. That would fall under “can’t humanly do that) category.
Or being called into the office stating you're break was over 5 minutes ago, I punch out as soon as I get to lunch not while I'm getting to the cafeteria, my break starts when I'm sitting down on my lunch break
My favourite tactic to deal with a yelling boss is to laugh in front of them about it. I’ve found it catches them off guard and makes them look stupid. Just laugh. It feels great lol
It does it is a total save and really does feel great. Look a bit confused, look around, draw your posture up a bit and cross your arms side on to them and lean in with a joke or a laugh and it totally extinguishes their behaviour. It helps if you’re a bit taller.
Toxic Boss Quotes: “I am the only one who works around here!” “If I want it done right, I will have to do it myself” I almost lost my job because after my boss said that to me, I told him that he was a narcissistic a$$hole. HR agreed and he was fired a week later because he insulted one of our clients.
I just went through that recently my supervisor said that to me because an item went missing they assume I fucked up instead of asking one of the movers who delivered it what happened turn out the item already had went back they didn’t ask the mover intil the next day they assume that it had something to do with me than said we gonna have a meeting about this because this happens too often actually it don’t happen that much at all just wanted to put the blame on me but when he fucks up nobody acknowledge it at all it gets ignored but everybody wanna be on my ass so glad I’m getting a new job on their ass
My boss is super toxic by insisting that everyone are “friends” instead of friendLY coworkers that get along in a professional setting to get the job done. I will NEVER accept someone else’s definition of what friendship means to me. I don’t mix business and personal EVER. I will be friendLY without being friends and personABLE without being personal. That’s it and that’s all.
My boss literally rates our performance based on how much "tension" they notice between us. But refuse to correct or get rid of bad behaviour from toxic co-workers. I'm the same, I'm here to do my job. Not be worried about what my boss thinks of my relationship with my co-workers.
I agree. Being friendly with your co-workers and having a good working relationship is important. You can have this without being friends. As I do interim/temp work I have left and returned to organisations and picked up those friendly relationships again several years later. I never mix social and work together. I try not to go for lunches or to a bar. If i do I leave quickly or make excuses that I can't go.
@@tashengstrom3379 I understand the friendLY nature of coworker professional relationships, but I refuse to let a manager define what friendship means to me. As long as we can get the job done, it shouldn’t matter that I am not friends. I don’t buy into the friends at work mentality.
I was given that one last week by a manager that thought smoking a cigar during a site meeting was a power move. Reeks of insecurity. Turns out he had no idea of what he’s doing.
Thank you for bringing up the crying thing. People see you as unstable if you begin to cry.. You can only take so much as a human even if you’re not taking things “perssonal”
😂😂😂😂 in the mega toxic job that I was in, there was a manager that kept saying that ALL the time…I bet she said today. As far as I know, family are not a bunch of backstabbers.
A toxic thing I heard was from a guy who was supposed to hire me for a marketing specialist role. During the interview, his phone rang 3 times (first red flag). I find out after I already signed the contract in the next days that he actually wanted 2 jobs in 1 - someone to handle ALL the marketing/content side of the business + a secretary. When confronted about neither of these requirements being detailed in the ad or the interview, he goes - "it's not BELOW you to make some coffee once in a while, is it? or "welcome" the businessmen with a pretty smile so they feel at ease on meetings and sign our contracts?" I face-palmed so hard out of there...this guy was my boss for 3 days. Worst. 3. Days. Of. My. Life.
I had a boss tell me this back in the 90s when we still got paper checks. I went to his office to pick up my check and he said, "It makes me physically sick to give you a paycheck".
I have too many to count, but here are a few from my most recent bosses: -When I raised concerns to my boss that the SLAs she wanted to create may not be reasonable considering the timeframe it usually took for us to complete the process: "you're just afraid of commitment" -When I asked my boss to stop berating me in a meeting: "you don't speak when I'm speaking." -When I asked my boss to sign off in my timesheet for a doctor's appointment he already approved the day before: "you don't dictate your schedule to me." -When I told my boss I had to leave the meeting abruptly because I was having a panic attack: "this is not a real emergency. It's disrespectful to your co-workers to leave like that. Wait til after the meeting." -"you have a listening problem." -"you're only concerned with having your voice heard." -"you're too task orientated" -"that never happened" -"everyone on the teams thinks that about you." -"you're a people pleaser." -"I have to repeat myself too many times with you" -"you have a communication problem." I'm still experiencing life under a toxic boss, but I've grown a lot in speaking up for myself and asserting my boundaries with bad behavior.
I have seen that the reason why a lot of these toxic bosses even get promoted to where they're at is because they're great at sucking up to the executive team. They tell the higher ups they'll do anything they want them to do and they run up to them like they're family members when they enter the room. Seen it happen in several companies.
I had an assistant project lead who would refuse to take a lunch, but expected her team members to work through lunch too. I found out because payroll/HR contacted me and asked why was her team putting in 11 hours instead of 10 hours because 1 hour is an unpaid lunch. I contacted my project lead and asked about the lunches. She said, “I don’t take lunches, so everyone else should not take one either”. I told HR that I wanted to fire her because she was breaking the law and can open the company up to lawsuits. She was fired the next day.
"This is how they do it everywhere else." I had to confront my bosses after they brought up a mistake that I had made was displayed in front of my entire group. It was around this time I was beginning to understand the issues they had, and rather than being direct and telling me what I needed to improve, they simply just told me what I was doing wrong and to essentially figure it out myself. They had wanted me to confess my problem in the meeting and talk about it in public. I didn't, rightfully or wrongfully. If they had talked to me before hand about it as to why it was a problem I probably would have been comfortable in talking about in front of the group, but instead I just felt blindsided.
“You’re fighting fights you’re not gonna win you might as well give up.” “That’s just the way it is you get used to it” both times when I was advocating for myself, my team, or discussing what isn’t working.
Hi Jennifer 👋 - My last employer liked to not request but order us " minions " to leave early when things were slow & then overwhelm us with work the next day !. I explained that I allotted my time as scheduled & they needed to do the same. It's fine to offer someone the option to leave early but it should never be demanded.
Yes! Same at my work, and yet they frown on taking our fifteen minute breaks and I was told it's because we usually just 'power through it' as the comment above says. Guys, it's the law that we get a fifteen minute break. We r there for six hours! I'm a smoker... it sucks. I heard a girl ask if she could take a ten and the girl in charge said 'no, we have a lot of work to do'... the same girl wanting a break said at the end of that same six hour day when our time was up that we r 'not allowed to leave until everything is finished'. Other ppl heard and said they're leaving when they're scheduled to leave. And btw, they've never told us or mentioned ANYTHiNg about a 'lunch' for us 'part time' workers.
1 of many toxic quotes I have heard , but this one is the most recent one " I know your training new employees about the job , But your talking too much. " My response: " how can I train these new employees if I can't communicate job related information to them . "
I had that conversation with my boss, he pointed out someone who worked 12+ hours per day vs my 8+ hours so I asked who did more work, me or them? His response was flat out he wanted me to work more hours, others thought it was unfair when I only worked 8 even if I was the most productive worker in our group. I was working and going to school full time, they knew that when they hired me. There's a certain type of boss that it doesn't matter how hard you work they will tell you that you can do more. Most of my peers even made more than me at that time and in a 12 hour day might do what I could do in 6. I took it as I need to be more social at work, I didn't do any more work but stopped to talk with others more in a mostly nonproductive manner. They seemed happy with that but the hours eventually led to my leaving. They just wanted me there for 12+ hours, not that they wanted more work from me. I thought it was odd.
@@JenniferBrick that's my place of work. They spend hours chatting about kids, dating, farm life, dogs, etc... I spend my time working. Sorry I donr have kids your age and am here to work
Giving up half your day (if you even include the time you should be asleep as your free time, otherwise it’s more than half) is an insane request to me unless you’re like an astronaut or a travel guide or something. Simply no need for it!
I have a few quotes/stories: At my last job, I was barely trained at all. The only training I got was in my first week when, thankfully, a girl from a different office came to help out, and sat with me to explain the basics to me while she worked. The other people from my office only told me how and what I was supposed to do when I asked questions, and I asked a lot of questions and wrote everything down to make sure I did the best job I could. I really wanted to move up in that company. But there were still a lot of things I wasn't taught. It was a total mess at that place, i can't emphasize that enough. There was a lot of turn over, let's just say that. When I started working a new shift, I was working as the assistant to the shift supervisor. She wasn't great at communicating with me, so there were things I was doing wrong, and things I wasn't doing at all that no one had ever even mentioned to me. She never once had a conversation with me about these things. If she had, I would have immediately fixed the problems. But instead she acted like everything was fine. One night our manager (a real scum bag) came in to have a meeting with us. After the meeting, I was asked to leave the office for a few minutes. When I was asked to come back in, he was pissed. He really laid it on me, and ended with "you're her assistant and you do whatever she says. If she says jump, you jump and ask how high. If she says run, you run. If she says sit, you sit...etc." I felt like a dog at that moment. I was appaled. Especially because she had never mentioned ANYTHING to me. She said nothing and only smiled when I said I hadn't been told anything but I'd start doing those things I hadn't been told about before. I quickly found a new job a few weeks later and left them severely understaffed and stressing about having to find someone new. That was my revenge, and it felt great leaving. The job before that was at a private school. I loved the job and the school's mission. Things went great for months. But the principle/owner was a bit of a tyrant. One of the things she did was that she had the habit of randomly calling people into her office, and, in front of EVERYONE, yelling at them and belittling them. People would literally leave her office crying. I won't get into the full story to not make this longer, but I was the target one day, and I walked right into it myself. There were 2 "managers", we'll call them, that worked in the office with her. I went to one of them extremely excited to share some amazing progress one of the students was making in various areas. Everyone else who had worked with this student was very happy with his progress and said it should be shared with this manager, as she was the one in charge of this student's file. She seemed very excited too, and told me to share with the principle/owner. Little did I know, this was a trap. When I told her, she went off on me in front of everyone, and I went red with embarrassment. Apparently the students progress in multiple areas didn't matter because those weren't the main things he "needed to be focusing on". After going off on me for nearly 20 minutes straight while EVERYONE quietly stared at me, she actually commended me for having taken it so well, not arguing, and "not bursting out into tears like everyone else." Apparently, when the managers knew something wasn't done the way the owner wanted, they'd act happy for you and, instead of correcting you or suggesting better ways to do things, they'd send you to the owner so she could chew you out in front of everyone and they wouldn't have to deal with it. I was told this afterwards by my supervisor who had seen this happen many times. The owner gained respect for me that day *eye rolls* but I lost respect for all of them, lost my zest for my until then awesome job, and left just a few months later. At my current job, things are awesome and everyone is great, except for the person who I am an assistant to. No one, not even the higher ups, can stand her, but they keep her around because she's a top performer. In my 2 months here, she's repeatedly insulted me, has repeatedly given me misinformation or too little information on projects and then gets mad when things aren't done her way, gets annoyed when I ask fro clarification, and micromanages like crazy. Today she even stole a client from a coworker and I had to deal with them coming to me with complaints. Part of my job is also to create marketing content. She's had a few great quotes I could share, but my favorite was 2 weeks ago when she told me that my design skills were "unprofessional and looked like a 4 year just threw things together". Mind you, on multiple occasions I've gotten compliments from others on my designs, and I've taken several design courses in the past, so while I'm no expert, I know I'm not that bad. Funny thing is, even when I try to do my designs exactly like her, she still finds something wrong. I could literally copy and paste one of her designs and just change the words to fit the material, and she'd still find something wrong with it just because I did it. If she does something herself it's perfect. I know, because I've tried this before, just changing the color a little, and she changed the whole thing saying it was clunky and unprofessional 😂 I can't wait for my probationary period to end so I can transfer away from this nut job. I'm the 5th or 6th assistant she's had in the past year and I can see why. Oh, one last one I just remembered. Years ago I worked at a check cashing place. The manager was super nice when it was just her, but the supervisor was another tyrant, and the manager rolled with it when she was around. She was another one of those that regularly made people cry. One day she got so frustrated because she wanted us all to work like speedy Gonzalez just like she did (mind you we worked with people's money, so you would think accuracy would be more important than top speed), and no one was able to do things as fast as her. She stood in the middle of the store and literally yelled "I don't get it! I've tried threatening you, yelling at you, punishing you, and nothing is working! I don't know what else to do with you guys anymore!" Real leader material that one was 😂 I have several more stories, but I'll stop my novel here.
I've had maybe 5 toxic bosses in 2 different places of employment in the last 3 years. I remember being told "until you prove yourself..." My response was shouting "I prove myself every f**king day" and was told to get see human resources, where I then told the HR department that I wanted this manager gone because I was really getting fed up with being disrespected.
I say this as a big cheerleader for you: don't match their dbag energy. He wanted to provoke you to lash out. I know you to be a kind, considerate yet take no shit person. Don't let the latter overtake the former 💜
“I have decided that you need to take an unpaid leave of absence until you can get your shit together” this was said by the president of the company and 6 weeks later came up with a “new work policy “ that nobody received and fired me after working almost 5 years for this company with zero write ups and zero client complaints
@@JenniferBrick Jennifer, that is the comment of the year! Absolutely too much power is in the hands of some seriously demented people! Outright psychopaths. I'm dealing with one now, but I have leverage because I own my home, vehicles and am not in debt. They have people leveraged because most people have rent, families, mortgages. It becomes a free for all with managers doing you any kind of way! I am SOOOOO over it. I might just start working at different places just to give the managers shit until they fire me or blow a gasket! Pay backs for all the shitheads that screwed with me in the past! They have 0 power over me, bet that!
Jennifer, I love your work. I mean sometimes you just don't know what a toxic workplace is. Thank God I now have a good job in a good environment, but my first job wasn't like this. So watching your videos has been eye opening and has helped me realize of how toxic it waa, and I cannot change the past but it helps me to understand better and make better decisions and even share with other people that knowledge.
Totally agree! i did not notice the signs either when i was first bullied, and it took someone saying something before i could see it - and then my life changed!
During a staff meeting, my former boss cut me off when I was speaking. I asked “ may I finish?” His response, “ no because I know where you are going with this.” I asked again,”may I finish?” He said , “No, because when you are speaking, and then when I start speaking, you stop speaking.” Or even better: how about hearing this from your boss: “Everything you do here is of no importance to this department because it is if no importance to me.” Or the best one: “if you leave this job, no one will ever hire you.”
A clinician with expertise in bullying read my chronology of events I had compiled and told me it was one of the worst cases of workplace bullying he had seen in his decades of practice.
If I'd hear this, it would be awesome, as you can just sink under the radar like a submarine. As for the "if you leave this job, no one will ever hire you" that's not for him to decide.
I am writing a book about workplace bullying In higher education. That is my field. It is in the top three vocational fields where bullying is rampant and is an epidemic.
I agree.. It is completely unnecessary to yell at colleagues or employees to get your point across, we are all adults who deserve some form of respect from each other..
Not a boss, but the HR person said "you eat lunch at the same time everyday." and then tried to correlate that to mean because I eat lunch at the same time everyday, maybe I'm not a creative person and then maybe my role wasn't right for me. Was there for several years and it was never brought up before
@@ForgottenKnight1 Aw thanks :) it was a year ago and I've since moved on (who could stay there with someone like that?) and sometimes I do think about it and feel bad all over again but your comment is much appreciated and I'll try to let it go :)
"You should get your head checked." "At this rate, we'll have a hard time promoting you." "There's no one here to help you." "Did you understand what I just said? Repeat it." "It not that I'm blaming you, but..."
I had a caseload that was LITERALLY too much for one person to handle! I was going home crying every night, and my boss told me "$hit rolls downhill, it will go to my boss, me and then you, so get caught up"! This is just one of the many things!
I have a boss that told me that after losing my parents within 7 weeks of each, that I couldn't "use that excuse anymore". Granted, it had been a year BUT I was also dealing with physical health issues while dealing with the losses. My body was shutting down from grief and health wise. My boss knew about all of it and has never once asked if I was okay. Tried switching Supers and our Manager denied it because "HE" didn't want to feel like a failure eventhough I told him it was affecting my mental health.
The way my jaw hit the floor at that first line. The trauma and grief from two massive losses so close together. I'm so incredibly sorry for your losses. Your manager complete lacks empathy; I've lost my mom and 7 years later I still feel like I'm walking around with a gapping wound on my neck. Everyone I know who has lost both parents talks about how strange it is to be an orphan (even if they're in their 60s or 70s!). If you're not already, please document everything *just in case*, and if you can't change managers can you change companies? You're going through enough, you don't need this. Sending you so many vibes.
@JenniferBrick Hi Jennifer, thank you much for responding. Yeah sometimes I hate that I'm a professional because I could have lost my job if I allowed myself to respond to him the way my body was yelling at me to do. So I'm diabetic and after losing them my sugars skyrocketed. I was barely eating, sleeping, tried to learn a new job (I switched departments before my mom died), and was outright running myself into the ground. Not only was the grief beating my body down , the diabetes was too. I could barely get out of bed most days but I still managed to go to work and try my best. I've gotten OT hours taken away from me because it was taking me longer to get through my tasks. He has everyone convinced that I've been working the system and not doing my job. No guy, I'm literally dragging myself through life...barely. I have told him, our Manager, Director, and HR but no one is helping me. I've been at this company for almost 14yrs and have never a had a boss this bad. He's younger and think he's top dog. He also wants me to respect him buy he doesn't even say Hi to me. I just get emails from him about what I've done wrong. My mental health can't take this anymore. I'm so unhappy. I've been looking around at other places but haven't found anything that piques my interest. I don't want to be in accounting anymore, so I'll have to change careers.
@JenniferBrick Also, I'm so sorry for your mom. It'll be 2yrs December 6th and I still haven't accepted it. I'm working through it therapy though. It's been incredibly hard.
God now I realize how much mentally i was abused by my boss. She used to tell me a combination of all these quotes + lashing out at me few times infront of my coworkers for silly reasons and guess what when I confronted her about it she justified it by saying that it was because i don't understand What's said...to giving me false info and making me work on a whole false base then blaming me... to assigning me sudden huge tasks to finish 3 hours before the end of the work day. What was even more upsetting to me that my family members knew all of this and kept insisting on me that I shouldn't have left the work. My dad supported me a lot and told me not to accept offense anywhere no matter what.
"I don't care about the project right now. I need you to work on my slide for my promotion." It sounds worse when you know the project being on fire is his fault.
Some quotes said are: “You should be thankful you have a job” “Don’t challenge management” “You’re an easy replacement” “We ask everyone here about you”-aka i’m always watching you Also, talking about employees to other employees behind their backs such as: “that lady is like a horn”, “she has low self-esteem”..and then firing someone all of a sudden and saying negative traits about them after they’re gone behind their back without ever warning them or talking to them or telling them the reason for dismissal :)
“If you leave this job I’ll punch you in your face” and he laughed and said “actually, I’ll drop kick you” and then he laughed more He said that in front of other staff . Some people thought it was funny but also seemed awkward. My boss get away with so much abuse and manipulation. Our big boss enable the hell out of him. I quit my job and told my big boss what happened. I don’t think anything has been done. Narcissist yet again got away!
It’s funny my boss has said “crying is good for you” and “in life you can cry now or you can cry later” in regards to me saying I can’t work more than 50 hours a week in a high stress environment because it’ll effect my mental health
I actually worked in a job, in healthcare, with individuals with disabilities, at a company that had a written policy of no breaks! Needless to say, I left the company, for this and other reasons, including bait and switch tactics and dishonest hiring practices. As a nurse, I understand how important breaks are, even though as a younger nurse, I didn't get many. I had never worked anywhere before that actually had a written policy of no breaks! This particular company had it in writing that the state didn't require them to give employees breaks, so they did not give them!
One I heard recently of my boss talking to another manager, "This place is full of liars" after confronting me thinking I did something that a coworker did (which happens to be the boss's niece).
Here's one: "I don't see you as a sergeant, I see you as a woman." After I asked him to call me by rank and last name, as is appropriate in the military. I wanted him to stop saying my first name.
"She cannot do anything" and "You frustrated me! You know insanity? That's how you make me feel!" I just started working for 3 days and my team leader suddenly told everyone if I cannot do anything. Then she got sick and told me if I was the one who made her sick. She said I made her stressed and feel insane. Now she avoids me, ignores my presentation, even doesnt wanna do eye contact with me when I try to talk/have conversation with her.
I had a manager who talked to me and basically said he doubted I was good at my job because my title was the entry level one. I was mid-level at the time and there were only 2 levels when I started. At least he recommended me to the newly created mid level position awhile after that but still lol he sowed doubt in my abilities and it went downhill from there.
I was in an interview one time and the lady attempted to diagnose me with brain damage and said I couldn't work with the populations I was qualified to work for. Red flag and very uncalled for so I ran and never looked back. Glad I never worked there to begin with. Totally dodged a bullet.
Saying “No offense, but this department is the gay black son of the company” to her gay black male employee. I still don’t know how to feel about that one lol
Being falsely accused, “so you lied in your interview”. I could tell he tried to gaslight me and I’m like No I did not and I remember every detail we went over.
I was told the same at my new job location 3 months in. Why d didn’t you take time to verify my references and work history? Now I don’t wanna work there a year after it’s been too much…
I recently had an interview where one of the interviewers accused me of lying too!!! She was triggered because I had too many references. I packed up my belongings and said I think we are done here and walked out.
Yep, because men have been socialized to not cry and to have any other emotion than cry and this has so many detrimental impacts on them and people around them.
@@JenniferBrick Not at all. She says other crazy things that have me now looking for my next career path. But now I'm just afraid I won't find a healthy work environment.
This is a common fear that develops in toxic work enviornments. The Toxic Job Loop is real - but you can escape it. Research companies that have aligned values to you, and good reputations. Then interview them just as much as they are interviewing you.
I started a new job recently and it immediately became clear to me that no one had any time to train me. I was hardly spoken to and treated like a problem. On my third day I was called into the GM”s office and she outlined her high expectations and told me only one other staff member has ever measured up. She then told me that she fired the person in my role before me after throwing a folder at them twice and telling them to fix it. The person had filed a document in the wrong part of the folder. She was proud of this workplace violence and very egotistical about it. I went home, sent an email outlining the truth and never returned. I had learned nothing and refused to go one more day to that horrible place.
My toxic boss said "You'll be here for as long as I want you here" (It was an agency job, I did not understand how that worked back then in 2018). Agency staff have little to no protection.
"If you don't like working here, why don't you just leave?" Lol such an innocent question to ask after I confront him for wage theft and ignoring all scheduled calls. It's playing dumb on the fact that people still need to pay rent and need to have another job lined up to just leave instead of leeching off of their family.
was accused of not cleaning lobby..i was cut to 40 hours a week too 20 a week....my boss said to me i did not clean the lobby when i started... i said yes i did...My boss says no you did not we have a witness....I walk away agree but not say anything......the nexrt day another boss said the same thing i did not clean the hotel lobby.....I said to her if you dont believe me rewind the video camara and show me i did not mop the lobby....a little later me and the rest of the laid off workers were working fulltime hours again....it was bullshit laidoff they were giving hours to maintenance crew...that's how you fight back
During a performance review he had the nerve to tell me my worth today is 1 and in the future it would be 1. Needless to say I do not work there anymore.
I was pulled to work on a project for 18 months, doing work well above my pay grade. During certain times nobody could take a day off, sometimes as long as 8 weeks. 4 times I was declined for a week off (use it or lose it policy). I tried again in Nov and was told "we'll see what we can do, but ya snooze ya lose!"
Do you have HR? If you do, contact them and inquire "Hi ___, over the past 18 months I have submitted four vacation requests which were declined. Is there mandatory time off at the end of the cycle or will my unused vacation be paid out due my manager not permitting its use." Also check your local laws, in some places they are required to pay accrued vacation.
In a workplace where it feels like you are being evaluated based on assumptions about your personal life more than your job performance, "You gave no support network."
This is very similar as the last one "Your image is ...." or "Every people I talked, they think negatively of you". Another one, "You are underperforming". And the cherry of the cake, "You are weak" (in front of the team). Poor these managers, they must feel miserables with thier lives.
Have you done any videos on learning how to "talk corporate"? I really struggle with it because I feel like I never got the script that everyone else has.
In regards to an employee who had to take on a retired coworker's responsibilities on top of his own for two years before retiring early due to health problems caused by stress; "He brought it upon himself."
One of my coworkers asked me for help on something. As I was helping her, my boss (and owner of the company)walked by us and said to my coworker, “don’t listen to (me). She doesn’t know what she’s talking about”. And he kept walking. My mouth dropped open and I felt like he had slapped me across the face.
Here's another toxic "faux boss" quote for you. "You tricked the managing partner into hiring you, if I took your interview the likes of you would not be here"
I know what I'd say to an interviewer like that. I'd tell Hime keep the job. Your unprofessional and I'm out. I say this because of age and experience. No job is worth your dignity.
I was working a temp job one time, and I felt sorry for one of the new hires. She had only been with the company a couple of weeks, and the manager told her ‘she didn’t take good notes’ and guess who trained her on everything… The manager! And the manager started the week I did so she was new too.
I thought this was something that only happened to me, good to know I'm not alone in it. I got in trouble a lot w my former boss who said I was "too accommodating" and a "people pleaser" and that I was too concerned about trying to meet her expectations.
"How do I say this without making you seem incompetent" "You should take the lead here, I PAY you to do this job after all" And I'm one of their top performers, it only gets worse from there.
"You only dress in a suit and tie because you want people to think you are smart." "We need proof you are really at your grandmothers funeral. Can you send a pic of the obituary to HR for your file." "You are one of the 'good ones' "
My boss told me he didn’t give (highest value in review) no matter what kind of year anyone had. Then colleague at a team meeting mentioned getting that score in front of the whole team. Fellow teammate said, “So boss, you don’t give out those (highest value), huh?” Boss: Well, I guess I should have finished that sentence. I don’t give those…..to any of you.
I do interim/contract work. In job I took I was initially helping out to get through the year end. I was review in balance sheet reconciliations and journals posted in the accounting system. No adverse comments from colleagues to my face or from my boss. I was not assigned any specific responsibilities until after two months. At my second 1 to 1 meeting she said that I wasn't where a should be and tried to make out that I wasn't to the job and consider resigning. I have worked in the financial services in city of London so I think I know what hard work is. She wouldn't give specific examples. At subsequent meetings she said that she was happy regarding performance. There was also belittling of a colleagues over zoom calls by her and at least one other member of staff. I resigned after three months as another opportunity arose (where I had several times over the last 2 years). During the last two months I was there at least a third of the department resigned. In a related department half of the staff left. I always wondered what she said to the other staff.
My boss tells me at the same time "I know you are overworked" and "You need to start doing this and that because you have too few responsibilities". I feel like I'm going crazy and I only work in this dept for 2 months (I had no training, they expect me to learn on weekends with my own money because other coworkers did).
I had a boss who swore at me in a toxic rant about my phone usage. It turns out my mom was in the hospital and i was communicating with my sister who was at the hospital with her. I had started a new job and couldn't get the time off. After his profanity ladened rant, i put in my notice the next day, didn't do a lick of work for the next two weeks and started a new job with only having a 4 day span of unemployment.
"Stop! Dont try to teach her by showing her, have her do it. I figured out she can learn that way!" Said to a coworker in front of the whole team by my boss.
Omg the working through unpaid lunch thing… The most toxic boss I had tried to guilt trip me into staying at my desk and continue working during my unpaid lunch because I was the “new girl”. I should have seen that as a major red flag… I didn’t stay long there, it was a disaster.
The one my company owner said, that has stuck with me for 6 years, was "People skills are not your strong suit." Company owner, can't say anything back, but I have been *unsuccessfully* looking ever since.
What's the worst Toxic Boss quote you've heard?
“We’re family and friends.”
Boss said She helped previous guy at my position move out of company. While doing meeting with me alone
In my performance evaluation: Do you want to join “ she took name of competitor company”
My "manager" threw a Christmas party and invited another department. He then informed us that the party was "not for us". We were just there to work the party. Oh, and we also had to "donate" money to pay for it.
I hate that last one. Sigh. I gave customers that love my work, but it really tries to break your spirit. Other than the dating issue, I have heard it all.
Boss and I were conversing on strength and health issues of myself and another coworker (organ failure and cancer), which devolved into a contemptible sigh/ugh followed by, “all you sick people”.
About 15 years ago my former boss said this to me after the company Christmas party: "Your wife is really attractive. You could probably make a lot of money pimping her out."
He also said "My wife said I should treat you better so you don't leave. But I don't think you have anywhere to go."
A former coworker sued him. And won big time.
😲
Karma got to him
sick
Wtf, omg that's nasty
Wow how did they prove that ?
I was in a toxic work environment for several years prior to my current job. Took me over a year to get my self esteem back and self worth. A lot of gas lighting , lack of boundaries, etc.
Congratulate yourself that you have gotten your self esteem and self worth back.
It is deep work. I started doing therapy sessions, and it's the only thing keeping me from the very bottom of self-deprication
I used to have a boss who constantly shouted at me. She would criticise me in front of everyone and undermine me at any chance. I ended up quitting and leaving the company. I told HR about the experience and also made a massive complaint during the exit interview. But they did nothing about it. Apparently dozens of people complaint about her but the company just ended up promoting her.
Sounds like they couldn't fire her so they just got her out of the way.
Corporate psychopaths get away with this every day. My boss screams at me all the time so I'm looking for a new job because I know HR and upper management won't do anything.
Big companies like results and sadly could not care less about the means to the end.
Classic!
did we work together and i didn't meet you? 😂😂
When you have to eat at certain intervals, having a boss say he can just "power through it" when he works through lunch is rude. And for a diabetic, timing of meals is a safety issue.
This is a great point. Obviously eating is required for all humans, but with certain medical conditions timing and consistency are crucial.
Right. I’ve had coworkers with those issues and this one guy almost passed out just because we (at a staff lunch) had a long wait for our food. That would fall under “can’t humanly do that) category.
It's also the law
Or being called into the office stating you're break was over 5 minutes ago, I punch out as soon as I get to lunch not while I'm getting to the cafeteria, my break starts when I'm sitting down on my lunch break
My favourite tactic to deal with a yelling boss is to laugh in front of them about it. I’ve found it catches them off guard and makes them look stupid. Just laugh. It feels great lol
It does it is a total save and really does feel great. Look a bit confused, look around, draw your posture up a bit and cross your arms side on to them and lean in with a joke or a laugh and it totally extinguishes their behaviour. It helps if you’re a bit taller.
I've done that, it does work😂😂then I take a break
I laugh constantly at work, it makes my boss smile and lightens up the mood.
Toxic Boss Quotes: “I am the only one who works around here!”
“If I want it done right, I will have to do it myself”
I almost lost my job because after my boss said that to me, I told him that he was a narcissistic a$$hole. HR agreed and he was fired a week later because he insulted one of our clients.
The toxic bosses I knew were the only ones that didn't work unless they had to.
Great 😂
Good on you!
I just went through that recently my supervisor said that to me because an item went missing they assume I fucked up instead of asking one of the movers who delivered it what happened turn out the item already had went back they didn’t ask the mover intil the next day they assume that it had something to do with me than said we gonna have a meeting about this because this happens too often actually it don’t happen that much at all just wanted to put the blame on me but when he fucks up nobody acknowledge it at all it gets ignored but everybody wanna be on my ass so glad I’m getting a new job on their ass
I would have replied Great You Do it then bye 😂
My boss is super toxic by insisting that everyone are “friends” instead of friendLY coworkers that get along in a professional setting to get the job done. I will NEVER accept someone else’s definition of what friendship means to me. I don’t mix business and personal EVER. I will be friendLY without being friends and personABLE without being personal. That’s it and that’s all.
This is such an important distinction!
♡♡♡
My boss literally rates our performance based on how much "tension" they notice between us. But refuse to correct or get rid of bad behaviour from toxic co-workers. I'm the same, I'm here to do my job. Not be worried about what my boss thinks of my relationship with my co-workers.
I agree. Being friendly with your co-workers and having a good working relationship is important. You can have this without being friends. As I do interim/temp work I have left and returned to organisations and picked up those friendly relationships again several years later. I never mix social and work together. I try not to go for lunches or to a bar. If i do I leave quickly or make excuses that I can't go.
@@tashengstrom3379 I understand the friendLY nature of coworker professional relationships, but I refuse to let a manager define what friendship means to me. As long as we can get the job done, it shouldn’t matter that I am not friends. I don’t buy into the friends at work mentality.
'"Have you not DONE this before?! I thought you were experienced!"
*Heavy sigh*
I was given that one last week by a manager that thought smoking a cigar during a site meeting was a power move. Reeks of insecurity. Turns out he had no idea of what he’s doing.
Gang mentality work environment… that’s major toxicity!
Thank you for bringing up the crying thing. People see you as unstable if you begin to cry.. You can only take so much as a human even if you’re not taking things “perssonal”
“We’re friends and family here” Yeah OK.
LOL you know my feelings on that.
@@JenniferBrick YES!!!! LOL
This!!!
😂😂😂😂 in the mega toxic job that I was in, there was a manager that kept saying that ALL the time…I bet she said today.
As far as I know, family are not a bunch of backstabbers.
🤢🤮
A toxic thing I heard was from a guy who was supposed to hire me for a marketing specialist role. During the interview, his phone rang 3 times (first red flag). I find out after I already signed the contract in the next days that he actually wanted 2 jobs in 1 - someone to handle ALL the marketing/content side of the business + a secretary. When confronted about neither of these requirements being detailed in the ad or the interview, he goes - "it's not BELOW you to make some coffee once in a while, is it? or "welcome" the businessmen with a pretty smile so they feel at ease on meetings and sign our contracts?" I face-palmed so hard out of there...this guy was my boss for 3 days. Worst. 3. Days. Of. My. Life.
I had a boss tell me this back in the 90s when we still got paper checks. I went to his office to pick up my check and he said, "It makes me physically sick to give you a paycheck".
U should have said "im glad"
I have too many to count, but here are a few from my most recent bosses:
-When I raised concerns to my boss that the SLAs she wanted to create may not be reasonable considering the timeframe it usually took for us to complete the process: "you're just afraid of commitment"
-When I asked my boss to stop berating me in a meeting: "you don't speak when I'm speaking."
-When I asked my boss to sign off in my timesheet for a doctor's appointment he already approved the day before: "you don't dictate your schedule to me."
-When I told my boss I had to leave the meeting abruptly because I was having a panic attack: "this is not a real emergency. It's disrespectful to your co-workers to leave like that. Wait til after the meeting."
-"you have a listening problem."
-"you're only concerned with having your voice heard."
-"you're too task orientated"
-"that never happened"
-"everyone on the teams thinks that about you."
-"you're a people pleaser."
-"I have to repeat myself too many times with you"
-"you have a communication problem."
I'm still experiencing life under a toxic boss, but I've grown a lot in speaking up for myself and asserting my boundaries with bad behavior.
I have seen that the reason why a lot of these toxic bosses even get promoted to where they're at is because they're great at sucking up to the executive team. They tell the higher ups they'll do anything they want them to do and they run up to them like they're family members when they enter the room. Seen it happen in several companies.
I had an assistant project lead who would refuse to take a lunch, but expected her team members to work through lunch too. I found out because payroll/HR contacted me and asked why was her team putting in 11 hours instead of 10 hours because 1 hour is an unpaid lunch. I contacted my project lead and asked about the lunches. She said, “I don’t take lunches, so everyone else should not take one either”. I told HR that I wanted to fire her because she was breaking the law and can open the company up to lawsuits. She was fired the next day.
"This is how they do it everywhere else."
I had to confront my bosses after they brought up a mistake that I had made was displayed in front of my entire group. It was around this time I was beginning to understand the issues they had, and rather than being direct and telling me what I needed to improve, they simply just told me what I was doing wrong and to essentially figure it out myself. They had wanted me to confess my problem in the meeting and talk about it in public. I didn't, rightfully or wrongfully. If they had talked to me before hand about it as to why it was a problem I probably would have been comfortable in talking about in front of the group, but instead I just felt blindsided.
Constructive feedback should NEVER be given in a group setting.
worse words ever ... and when they stop innovating or being critical of old outdated processes, mistakes are made, money is lost and talent leaves
I had a senior do this and I was told by someone else that he was trying to undermine me...
Never have friends at work they only care bout them selfs it’s sad really
“You’re fighting fights you’re not gonna win you might as well give up.” “That’s just the way it is you get used to it” both times when I was advocating for myself, my team, or discussing what isn’t working.
yes! keep your head down, don't cause waves - all the same result - shut up and don't speak up, totally not okay with me/ what did you do?
Hi Jennifer 👋 - My last employer liked to not request but order us " minions " to leave early when things were slow & then overwhelm us with work the next day !. I explained that I allotted my time as scheduled & they needed to do the same. It's fine to offer someone the option to leave early but it should never be demanded.
Wow, that is not cool.
Yes! Same at my work, and yet they frown on taking our fifteen minute breaks and I was told it's because we usually just 'power through it' as the comment above says. Guys, it's the law that we get a fifteen minute break. We r there for six hours! I'm a smoker... it sucks. I heard a girl ask if she could take a ten and the girl in charge said 'no, we have a lot of work to do'... the same girl wanting a break said at the end of that same six hour day when our time was up that we r 'not allowed to leave until everything is finished'. Other ppl heard and said they're leaving when they're scheduled to leave. And btw, they've never told us or mentioned ANYTHiNg about a 'lunch' for us 'part time' workers.
1 of many toxic quotes I have heard , but this one is the most recent one " I know your training new employees about the job , But your talking too much. "
My response: " how can I train these new employees if I can't communicate job related information to them . "
"Ask yourself if you would ask a man that question." What a great way to put it! Total double standards.
"This is really frustrating for me, because I feel like I'm doing your job for you."
I've had that one to! Completely degrading.
I had that conversation with my boss, he pointed out someone who worked 12+ hours per day vs my 8+ hours so I asked who did more work, me or them? His response was flat out he wanted me to work more hours, others thought it was unfair when I only worked 8 even if I was the most productive worker in our group. I was working and going to school full time, they knew that when they hired me. There's a certain type of boss that it doesn't matter how hard you work they will tell you that you can do more. Most of my peers even made more than me at that time and in a 12 hour day might do what I could do in 6. I took it as I need to be more social at work, I didn't do any more work but stopped to talk with others more in a mostly nonproductive manner. They seemed happy with that but the hours eventually led to my leaving. They just wanted me there for 12+ hours, not that they wanted more work from me. I thought it was odd.
I hope they intended to pay you to waste 4 hours a day. For real though, it's so performative and I have a so many rants on this topic.
@@JenniferBrick Nope, salaried. It was pretty silly.
If they paid OT they would not be asking I bet.
@@JenniferBrick that's my place of work. They spend hours chatting about kids, dating, farm life, dogs, etc... I spend my time working. Sorry I donr have kids your age and am here to work
Giving up half your day (if you even include the time you should be asleep as your free time, otherwise it’s more than half) is an insane request to me unless you’re like an astronaut or a travel guide or something. Simply no need for it!
I have a few quotes/stories:
At my last job, I was barely trained at all. The only training I got was in my first week when, thankfully, a girl from a different office came to help out, and sat with me to explain the basics to me while she worked. The other people from my office only told me how and what I was supposed to do when I asked questions, and I asked a lot of questions and wrote everything down to make sure I did the best job I could. I really wanted to move up in that company. But there were still a lot of things I wasn't taught. It was a total mess at that place, i can't emphasize that enough. There was a lot of turn over, let's just say that. When I started working a new shift, I was working as the assistant to the shift supervisor. She wasn't great at communicating with me, so there were things I was doing wrong, and things I wasn't doing at all that no one had ever even mentioned to me. She never once had a conversation with me about these things. If she had, I would have immediately fixed the problems. But instead she acted like everything was fine. One night our manager (a real scum bag) came in to have a meeting with us. After the meeting, I was asked to leave the office for a few minutes. When I was asked to come back in, he was pissed. He really laid it on me, and ended with "you're her assistant and you do whatever she says. If she says jump, you jump and ask how high. If she says run, you run. If she says sit, you sit...etc." I felt like a dog at that moment. I was appaled. Especially because she had never mentioned ANYTHING to me. She said nothing and only smiled when I said I hadn't been told anything but I'd start doing those things I hadn't been told about before. I quickly found a new job a few weeks later and left them severely understaffed and stressing about having to find someone new. That was my revenge, and it felt great leaving.
The job before that was at a private school. I loved the job and the school's mission. Things went great for months. But the principle/owner was a bit of a tyrant. One of the things she did was that she had the habit of randomly calling people into her office, and, in front of EVERYONE, yelling at them and belittling them. People would literally leave her office crying. I won't get into the full story to not make this longer, but I was the target one day, and I walked right into it myself. There were 2 "managers", we'll call them, that worked in the office with her. I went to one of them extremely excited to share some amazing progress one of the students was making in various areas. Everyone else who had worked with this student was very happy with his progress and said it should be shared with this manager, as she was the one in charge of this student's file. She seemed very excited too, and told me to share with the principle/owner. Little did I know, this was a trap. When I told her, she went off on me in front of everyone, and I went red with embarrassment. Apparently the students progress in multiple areas didn't matter because those weren't the main things he "needed to be focusing on". After going off on me for nearly 20 minutes straight while EVERYONE quietly stared at me, she actually commended me for having taken it so well, not arguing, and "not bursting out into tears like everyone else." Apparently, when the managers knew something wasn't done the way the owner wanted, they'd act happy for you and, instead of correcting you or suggesting better ways to do things, they'd send you to the owner so she could chew you out in front of everyone and they wouldn't have to deal with it. I was told this afterwards by my supervisor who had seen this happen many times. The owner gained respect for me that day *eye rolls* but I lost respect for all of them, lost my zest for my until then awesome job, and left just a few months later.
At my current job, things are awesome and everyone is great, except for the person who I am an assistant to. No one, not even the higher ups, can stand her, but they keep her around because she's a top performer. In my 2 months here, she's repeatedly insulted me, has repeatedly given me misinformation or too little information on projects and then gets mad when things aren't done her way, gets annoyed when I ask fro clarification, and micromanages like crazy. Today she even stole a client from a coworker and I had to deal with them coming to me with complaints. Part of my job is also to create marketing content. She's had a few great quotes I could share, but my favorite was 2 weeks ago when she told me that my design skills were "unprofessional and looked like a 4 year just threw things together". Mind you, on multiple occasions I've gotten compliments from others on my designs, and I've taken several design courses in the past, so while I'm no expert, I know I'm not that bad. Funny thing is, even when I try to do my designs exactly like her, she still finds something wrong. I could literally copy and paste one of her designs and just change the words to fit the material, and she'd still find something wrong with it just because I did it. If she does something herself it's perfect. I know, because I've tried this before, just changing the color a little, and she changed the whole thing saying it was clunky and unprofessional 😂 I can't wait for my probationary period to end so I can transfer away from this nut job. I'm the 5th or 6th assistant she's had in the past year and I can see why.
Oh, one last one I just remembered. Years ago I worked at a check cashing place. The manager was super nice when it was just her, but the supervisor was another tyrant, and the manager rolled with it when she was around. She was another one of those that regularly made people cry. One day she got so frustrated because she wanted us all to work like speedy Gonzalez just like she did (mind you we worked with people's money, so you would think accuracy would be more important than top speed), and no one was able to do things as fast as her. She stood in the middle of the store and literally yelled "I don't get it! I've tried threatening you, yelling at you, punishing you, and nothing is working! I don't know what else to do with you guys anymore!" Real leader material that one was 😂
I have several more stories, but I'll stop my novel here.
I've had maybe 5 toxic bosses in 2 different places of employment in the last 3 years. I remember being told "until you prove yourself..." My response was shouting "I prove myself every f**king day" and was told to get see human resources, where I then told the HR department that I wanted this manager gone because I was really getting fed up with being disrespected.
I say this as a big cheerleader for you: don't match their dbag energy. He wanted to provoke you to lash out. I know you to be a kind, considerate yet take no shit person. Don't let the latter overtake the former 💜
Hr never do shit for people who have no say
I can tell this is a man, if a woman did this she’d be fired
@@carllubrin8518and I learned HR sides with your boss unless there's lawsuits being discussed
@@BePatientSeeLove yeah I learn that the hard way after they didn’t renew my contract that place I work in was a joke
When you misunderstand or misinterpret directions and get screamed at later.
“I have decided that you need to take an unpaid leave of absence until you can get your shit together” this was said by the president of the company and 6 weeks later came up with a “new work policy “ that nobody received and fired me after working almost 5 years for this company with zero write ups and zero client complaints
This is why At Will employment should be illegal IMHO
Yes, agreed! It’s definitely discrimination because there are 3 other people who are currently working from home
@@JenniferBrick Jennifer, that is the comment of the year! Absolutely too much power is in the hands of some seriously demented people! Outright psychopaths. I'm dealing with one now, but I have leverage because I own my home, vehicles and am not in debt. They have people leveraged because most people have rent, families, mortgages. It becomes a free for all with managers doing you any kind of way! I am SOOOOO over it. I might just start working at different places just to give the managers shit until they fire me or blow a gasket! Pay backs for all the shitheads that screwed with me in the past! They have 0 power over me, bet that!
Jennifer, I love your work. I mean sometimes you just don't know what a toxic workplace is. Thank God I now have a good job in a good environment, but my first job wasn't like this. So watching your videos has been eye opening and has helped me realize of how toxic it waa, and I cannot change the past but it helps me to understand better and make better decisions and even share with other people that knowledge.
Totally agree! i did not notice the signs either when i was first bullied, and it took someone saying something before i could see it - and then my life changed!
During a staff meeting, my former boss cut me off when I was speaking. I asked “ may I finish?” His response, “ no because I know where you are going with this.” I asked again,”may I finish?” He said , “No, because when you are speaking, and then when I start speaking, you stop speaking.” Or even better: how about hearing this from your boss: “Everything you do here is of no importance to this department because it is if no importance to me.” Or the best one: “if you leave this job, no one will ever hire you.”
Your boss sounds like a massive jerk, and telling you that you will never get another job is not just bullshit, it's emotional abuse in my opinion.
I'm proud of you for persisting in May I Finish.
A clinician with expertise in bullying read my chronology of events I had compiled and told me it was one of the worst cases of workplace bullying he had seen in his decades of practice.
If I'd hear this, it would be awesome, as you can just sink under the radar like a submarine. As for the "if you leave this job, no one will ever hire you" that's not for him to decide.
I am writing a book about workplace bullying In higher education. That is my field. It is in the top three vocational fields where bullying is rampant and is an epidemic.
I agree.. It is completely unnecessary to yell at colleagues or employees to get your point across, we are all adults who deserve some form of respect from each other..
“I can’t trust you to do anything by yourself. You have no common sense” (I haven’t even been there three months)
Experience takes time. I know a lot of managers are frustrated by that fact because they think they never needed to time ramp up.
that is a below the belt comment - what did you do?
I get it man. It’s annoying when they themselves have no common sense
Any sort of physical or dirty task such as taking the trash or cleaning up the restroom "oh we'll let THE GUY do it that's why we keep him around"
Gender discrimination applies here. We need to recognize it in ALL forms.
Not a boss, but the HR person said "you eat lunch at the same time everyday." and then tried to correlate that to mean because I eat lunch at the same time everyday, maybe I'm not a creative person and then maybe my role wasn't right for me. Was there for several years and it was never brought up before
I.... I just can't. Do we need a Sh*t HR Said video? Because I would love to teardown this statement.
@@JenniferBrick Do it! Same HR person insisted we were a title-free company and then got mad when I got HER title wrong in a blog post.
Wow, Olympic mental gymnastics in action. Just black list that HR and don't lose a second of sleep over it.
@@ForgottenKnight1 Aw thanks :) it was a year ago and I've since moved on (who could stay there with someone like that?) and sometimes I do think about it and feel bad all over again but your comment is much appreciated and I'll try to let it go :)
Wowow, what a bizarre thing to criticize. How does someone's consistent lunchtime mean they are not creative? It's called a schedule.
Another boss said when I was 18
“ I hired you for my clothing store because your shape reminds me of my middle aged mother”
"You should get your head checked."
"At this rate, we'll have a hard time promoting you."
"There's no one here to help you."
"Did you understand what I just said? Repeat it."
"It not that I'm blaming you, but..."
I had a caseload that was LITERALLY too much for one person to handle! I was going home crying every night, and my boss told me "$hit rolls downhill, it will go to my boss, me and then you, so get caught up"! This is just one of the many things!
I have a boss that told me that after losing my parents within 7 weeks of each, that I couldn't "use that excuse anymore". Granted, it had been a year BUT I was also dealing with physical health issues while dealing with the losses. My body was shutting down from grief and health wise. My boss knew about all of it and has never once asked if I was okay. Tried switching Supers and our Manager denied it because "HE" didn't want to feel like a failure eventhough I told him it was affecting my mental health.
The way my jaw hit the floor at that first line. The trauma and grief from two massive losses so close together. I'm so incredibly sorry for your losses. Your manager complete lacks empathy; I've lost my mom and 7 years later I still feel like I'm walking around with a gapping wound on my neck. Everyone I know who has lost both parents talks about how strange it is to be an orphan (even if they're in their 60s or 70s!).
If you're not already, please document everything *just in case*, and if you can't change managers can you change companies? You're going through enough, you don't need this.
Sending you so many vibes.
@JenniferBrick Hi Jennifer, thank you much for responding. Yeah sometimes I hate that I'm a professional because I could have lost my job if I allowed myself to respond to him the way my body was yelling at me to do. So I'm diabetic and after losing them my sugars skyrocketed. I was barely eating, sleeping, tried to learn a new job (I switched departments before my mom died), and was outright running myself into the ground. Not only was the grief beating my body down , the diabetes was too. I could barely get out of bed most days but I still managed to go to work and try my best. I've gotten OT hours taken away from me because it was taking me longer to get through my tasks. He has everyone convinced that I've been working the system and not doing my job. No guy, I'm literally dragging myself through life...barely. I have told him, our Manager, Director, and HR but no one is helping me. I've been at this company for almost 14yrs and have never a had a boss this bad. He's younger and think he's top dog. He also wants me to respect him buy he doesn't even say Hi to me. I just get emails from him about what I've done wrong. My mental health can't take this anymore. I'm so unhappy. I've been looking around at other places but haven't found anything that piques my interest. I don't want to be in accounting anymore, so I'll have to change careers.
@JenniferBrick Also, I'm so sorry for your mom. It'll be 2yrs December 6th and I still haven't accepted it. I'm working through it therapy though. It's been incredibly hard.
God now I realize how much mentally i was abused by my boss. She used to tell me a combination of all these quotes + lashing out at me few times infront of my coworkers for silly reasons and guess what when I confronted her about it she justified it by saying that it was because i don't understand What's said...to giving me false info and making me work on a whole false base then blaming me... to assigning me sudden huge tasks to finish 3 hours before the end of the work day. What was even more upsetting to me that my family members knew all of this and kept insisting on me that I shouldn't have left the work. My dad supported me a lot and told me not to accept offense anywhere no matter what.
"I don't care about the project right now. I need you to work on my slide for my promotion."
It sounds worse when you know the project being on fire is his fault.
*facepalm*
Some quotes said are:
“You should be thankful you have a job”
“Don’t challenge management”
“You’re an easy replacement”
“We ask everyone here about you”-aka i’m always watching you
Also, talking about employees to other employees behind their backs such as: “that lady is like a horn”, “she has low self-esteem”..and then firing someone all of a sudden and saying negative traits about them after they’re gone behind their back without ever warning them or talking to them or telling them the reason for dismissal :)
OMg noooooooo, how is this even possible 😬😅
@@lucybekker hahaha sadly that was my experience with one employer
Are we working at the same place
I get a lot of "We've always done it this way" "You're wrong and it's not my problem" "I've always struggled and you should too". 😢
“If you leave this job I’ll punch you in your face”
and he laughed and said
“actually, I’ll drop kick you” and then he laughed more
He said that in front of other staff . Some people thought it was funny but also seemed awkward. My boss get away with so much abuse and manipulation. Our big boss enable the hell out of him. I quit my job and told my big boss what happened. I don’t think anything has been done. Narcissist yet again got away!
Tell him Abe Lincoln ended slavery. The asshole will love that.
It’s funny my boss has said “crying is good for you” and “in life you can cry now or you can cry later” in regards to me saying I can’t work more than 50 hours a week in a high stress environment because it’ll effect my mental health
I actually worked in a job, in healthcare, with individuals with disabilities, at a company that had a written policy of no breaks! Needless to say, I left the company, for this and other reasons, including bait and switch tactics and dishonest hiring practices. As a nurse, I understand how important breaks are, even though as a younger nurse, I didn't get many. I had never worked anywhere before that actually had a written policy of no breaks! This particular company had it in writing that the state didn't require them to give employees breaks, so they did not give them!
One I heard recently of my boss talking to another manager, "This place is full of liars" after confronting me thinking I did something that a coworker did (which happens to be the boss's niece).
"if we don't get some fucking professionalism in here, some fucking heads are gonna roll..."
Here's one: "I don't see you as a sergeant, I see you as a woman." After I asked him to call me by rank and last name, as is appropriate in the military. I wanted him to stop saying my first name.
FFS there is a special place in hell for misogynists like that.
@@JenniferBrick Agreed. Gotta respect the rank! He can get in a lot of trouble disrespecting an nco like that.
Was that Joe Biden or Bill Clinton who told you that?
That's bad. Rank is rank as far as I am concerned.
@@georgcantor7172 someone much more junior, under the Reagan administration. I'm old.
"She cannot do anything" and "You frustrated me! You know insanity? That's how you make me feel!"
I just started working for 3 days and my team leader suddenly told everyone if I cannot do anything. Then she got sick and told me if I was the one who made her sick. She said I made her stressed and feel insane. Now she avoids me, ignores my presentation, even doesnt wanna do eye contact with me when I try to talk/have conversation with her.
Had a former boss tell me "to just take it and sell it online. They (our partner) won't even know it's gone."
Gasped out loud reading this.
I had a manager who talked to me and basically said he doubted I was good at my job because my title was the entry level one. I was mid-level at the time and there were only 2 levels when I started.
At least he recommended me to the newly created mid level position awhile after that but still lol he sowed doubt in my abilities and it went downhill from there.
"You're not so young anymore" ," who are you to be asking this question?", "You're not here to think"
I was in an interview one time and the lady attempted to diagnose me with brain damage and said I couldn't work with the populations I was qualified to work for. Red flag and very uncalled for so I ran and never looked back. Glad I never worked there to begin with. Totally dodged a bullet.
Saying “No offense, but this department is the gay black son of the company” to her gay black male employee. I still don’t know how to feel about that one lol
my managers are truly shocking always putting staff down. worst shift ever
Being falsely accused, “so you lied in your interview”. I could tell he tried to gaslight me and I’m like No I did not and I remember every detail we went over.
in an interview???? damn! that is some serious shit #redflag ... are you working there now and they are bringing up stuff?
Gaslighting is such an integral part of the toxic behavior at my current job. I'm sorry you're dealing w that.
I was told the same at my new job location 3 months in. Why d didn’t you take time to verify my references and work history? Now I don’t wanna work there a year after it’s been too much…
I recently had an interview where one of the interviewers accused me of lying too!!! She was triggered because I had too many references. I packed up my belongings and said I think we are done here and walked out.
"could you go to the microwave and get my lunch, stir it around, and, if it's not hot enough, start the microwave again?"
Unless you are a personal assistant/care provider please don't do this for any supervisor. ☹️
A coworker tried this with my mother and she made them regret it 😂
"No"
I feel like Men tend to get angry at themselves or at other people rather than cry
Yep, because men have been socialized to not cry and to have any other emotion than cry and this has so many detrimental impacts on them and people around them.
“It’s a prison. No one can ever leave. Hahah kidding but no seriously you can never leave. “
Yikes, that's not a reassuring statement to make ever.
@@JenniferBrick Not at all. She says other crazy things that have me now looking for my next career path. But now I'm just afraid I won't find a healthy work environment.
This is a common fear that develops in toxic work enviornments. The Toxic Job Loop is real - but you can escape it. Research companies that have aligned values to you, and good reputations. Then interview them just as much as they are interviewing you.
@@JenniferBrick I will definitely do that here on out.
Welcome to the hotel California/ Alcatraz you can check out any time you like but never leave 😂
I started a new job recently and it immediately became clear to me that no one had any time to train me. I was hardly spoken to and treated like a problem. On my third day I was called into the GM”s office and she outlined her high expectations and told me only one other staff member has ever measured up. She then told me that she fired the person in my role before me after throwing a folder at them twice and telling them to fix it. The person had filed a document in the wrong part of the folder. She was proud of this workplace violence and very egotistical about it. I went home, sent an email outlining the truth and never returned. I had learned nothing and refused to go one more day to that horrible place.
My toxic boss said "You'll be here for as long as I want you here" (It was an agency job, I did not understand how that worked back then in 2018). Agency staff have little to no protection.
"If you don't like working here, why don't you just leave?"
Lol such an innocent question to ask after I confront him for wage theft and ignoring all scheduled calls. It's playing dumb on the fact that people still need to pay rent and need to have another job lined up to just leave instead of leeching off of their family.
was accused of not cleaning lobby..i was cut to 40 hours a week too 20 a week....my boss said to me i did not clean the lobby when i started... i said yes i did...My boss says no you did not we have a witness....I walk away agree but not say anything......the nexrt day another boss said the same thing i did not clean the hotel lobby.....I said to her if you dont believe me rewind the video camara and show me i did not mop the lobby....a little later me and the rest of the laid off workers were working fulltime hours again....it was bullshit laidoff they were giving hours to maintenance crew...that's how you fight back
I'm so sorry you went through that.
During a performance review he had the nerve to tell me my worth today is 1 and in the future it would be 1. Needless to say I do not work there anymore.
“Your here, which is good, but it seems like you can’t handle anything conceptual “ - my boss
I was pulled to work on a project for 18 months, doing work well above my pay grade. During certain times nobody could take a day off, sometimes as long as 8 weeks. 4 times I was declined for a week off (use it or lose it policy). I tried again in Nov and was told "we'll see what we can do, but ya snooze ya lose!"
Do you have HR? If you do, contact them and inquire "Hi ___, over the past 18 months I have submitted four vacation requests which were declined. Is there mandatory time off at the end of the cycle or will my unused vacation be paid out due my manager not permitting its use." Also check your local laws, in some places they are required to pay accrued vacation.
“ I support you the most in this company” 🤣🤣🤣 he said this in my notice period!
“Why are you pushing back on me ?” When asking a simple question
Yes more on this~ I’ve had two toxic bosses. Can’t think of a quote yet….
In a workplace where it feels like you are being evaluated based on assumptions about your personal life more than your job performance, "You gave no support network."
How is "You need to work on improving your emotional intelligence and resilience"?
Something I assume they have not done themselves, so they're projecting all over you.
"You only get a 15 minute break today, since you're behind with your work"
This is very similar as the last one "Your image is ...." or "Every people I talked, they think negatively of you". Another one, "You are underperforming". And the cherry of the cake, "You are weak" (in front of the team). Poor these managers, they must feel miserables with thier lives.
Have you done any videos on learning how to "talk corporate"? I really struggle with it because I feel like I never got the script that everyone else has.
What do you mean?
In regards to an employee who had to take on a retired coworker's responsibilities on top of his own for two years before retiring early due to health problems caused by stress; "He brought it upon himself."
I had a toxic boss tell me to "STFU!!!" IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CREW!!! I laughed in his face.
One of my coworkers asked me for help on something. As I was helping her, my boss (and owner of the company)walked by us and said to my coworker, “don’t listen to (me). She doesn’t know what she’s talking about”. And he kept walking. My mouth dropped open and I felt like he had slapped me across the face.
Here's one, "Hey, you are 5 minutes from becoming irrelevant." Super Ouch - still hurts to this day.
I would have burst out laughing at that 😂
Let me tell you an epic quote. " I want someone younger. You obviously have never worked a full day's work in your life."
I'll take totally illegal statement at work, for $500.
Seriously... if I do another episode this is one i'm reacting to.
Um, wouldn't it be a younger person who has never worked a full day in their life? Because most of their lives have been in school?
@@JenniferBrick Misogyny at its most pure.
+Theresa78201 toxicity isn't logical... and I just can't with the whole statement.
Shit, check out my shop, you'll eat your words! Managers are such dickheads. Like you know me, or what I can do! And have done.
Here's another toxic "faux boss" quote for you. "You tricked the managing partner into hiring you, if I took your interview the likes of you would not be here"
I know what I'd say to an interviewer like that. I'd tell Hime keep the job. Your unprofessional and I'm out. I say this because of age and experience. No job is worth your dignity.
I've reached a point in my life that I will cry with no apologies if someone is being rude to me.
Hi...awesome vids. This channel has been SO helpful to me in my work life. I wanted to say thanks so much.
I'm so glad to hear that! Thanks for choosing to spend some of your precious time watching 💜
@@JenniferBrick ♡♡♡ never unsubbing :)
My toxic boss..."you have been doing this for four months its the easiest thing and you still can't get it right"
Me..."wow"
I was working a temp job one time, and I felt sorry for one of the new hires. She had only been with the company a couple of weeks, and the manager told her ‘she didn’t take good notes’ and guess who trained her on everything… The manager! And the manager started the week I did so she was new too.
Told an employee they were "too nice" after getting cussed out by coworkers.
I’m the nice person and I get a lot of heat for being helpful.
I thought this was something that only happened to me, good to know I'm not alone in it. I got in trouble a lot w my former boss who said I was "too accommodating" and a "people pleaser" and that I was too concerned about trying to meet her expectations.
@@ashleyiz2008 That sounds like a set up!
"How do I say this without making you seem incompetent"
"You should take the lead here, I PAY you to do this job after all"
And I'm one of their top performers, it only gets worse from there.
I agree. You learn a lot when you mess up.
“You don’t know how to do that? You showed yourself on your resume higher/better than what you are!”
"You only dress in a suit and tie because you want people to think you are smart."
"We need proof you are really at your grandmothers funeral. Can you send a pic of the obituary to HR for your file."
"You are one of the 'good ones' "
"If anyone else is going to quit can they just let me know now." 2 people had quit on the spot in a 3 week period.(rightfully so)
My boss told me he didn’t give (highest value in review) no matter what kind of year anyone had. Then colleague at a team meeting mentioned getting that score in front of the whole team. Fellow teammate said, “So boss, you don’t give out those (highest value), huh?” Boss: Well, I guess I should have finished that sentence. I don’t give those…..to any of you.
boss,"your irritating,,,you really irritat me", I told her that I was just doing my job. It made her smile ;)
My old boss on increasing productivity: "Milk more and feed less".
"Fun part", it was an IT company.
I got sacked after 11 years for poor attitude I was suffering from depression and he knew that
I do interim/contract work. In job I took I was initially helping out to get through the year end. I was review in balance sheet reconciliations and journals posted in the accounting system. No adverse comments from colleagues to my face or from my boss. I was not assigned any specific responsibilities until after two months. At my second 1 to 1 meeting she said that I wasn't where a should be and tried to make out that I wasn't to the job and consider resigning. I have worked in the financial services in city of London so I think I know what hard work is. She wouldn't give specific examples. At subsequent meetings she said that she was happy regarding performance. There was also belittling of a colleagues over zoom calls by her and at least one other member of staff. I resigned after three months as another opportunity arose (where I had several times over the last 2 years). During the last two months I was there at least a third of the department resigned. In a related department half of the staff left. I always wondered what she said to the other staff.
My boss tells me at the same time "I know you are overworked" and "You need to start doing this and that because you have too few responsibilities". I feel like I'm going crazy and I only work in this dept for 2 months (I had no training, they expect me to learn on weekends with my own money because other coworkers did).
"That's why you didn't get a raise"
I had a boss who swore at me in a toxic rant about my phone usage. It turns out my mom was in the hospital and i was communicating with my sister who was at the hospital with her. I had started a new job and couldn't get the time off. After his profanity ladened rant, i put in my notice the next day, didn't do a lick of work for the next two weeks and started a new job with only having a 4 day span of unemployment.
"Stop! Dont try to teach her by showing her, have her do it. I figured out she can learn that way!" Said to a coworker in front of the whole team by my boss.
Omg the working through unpaid lunch thing… The most toxic boss I had tried to guilt trip me into staying at my desk and continue working during my unpaid lunch because I was the “new girl”. I should have seen that as a major red flag… I didn’t stay long there, it was a disaster.
The one my company owner said, that has stuck with me for 6 years, was "People skills are not your strong suit." Company owner, can't say anything back, but I have been *unsuccessfully* looking ever since.