8 Differences Between Fearful Avoidant & Anxious Preoccupied Attachment | Attachment Styles
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- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
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In this video, we talk about the 8 key differences between the Fearful Avoidant and the Anxious Preoccupied attachment styles. I wanted to talk about this as it's common to think you are anxious preoccupied, and then find out that you might be fearful avoidant instead, so hopefully, this video will give you some clarity on the similarities, but especially the difference between these attachment styles.
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I’m Thais Gibson, welcome to my channel, and thank you for stopping by!
This is a channel designed for you, to be used as a resource to create lasting transformation in your personal and professional life. Here you’ll receive an ongoing series of personal development and spiritual growth videos for you to expand your awareness and find resolution and deep understanding within.
Want to transform your life? If I did it, I know you can too!
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#FearfulAvoidant #AnxiousPreoccupied #PersonalDevelopmentSchool #PDS #ThaisGibson #AttachmentStyles
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I use to think I was AP but realized along the way that I'm FA leaning anxious. I WANT to be closer when triggered but I can't because I have my guard up and block it out and Ill step back. I'm also not scared of abandonment. I'm scared of someone wanting to leave me but not doing so. Or someone pretending. Or someone betraying me secretly. I have fears of uncertainty of not knowing every detail in someone's mind. It it's going good sometimes I get scared because I'd rather find out bad things to let me walk away vs possible secret things that I don't know leaving me in the dark
This!!
ohhh gosh this is so relatable...especially the part where you said I wanna get closer but my gourd is up I always feel this part of me that dominantes everything when I’m hurt and it’s a very cruel gourd I would have these voices in my head telling me...see I told you! If you go back and get hurt again you only have yourself to blame!...and you’ll be stupid for giving him/her another chance
This is literally me. I used to lean anxious but now I think I lean dismissive. If I feel someone pulling away or seeming distant I’ll deactivate massively.
wow, this resonates strongly… scared of someone wanting to leave me but not doing so, or someone pretending, secretely betraying me… that really hit home! I wonder what’s behind that fear? Obviously it’s a trust issue, but I feel it also has to do with uncertainty, with not being able to have an “appropriate” response, maybe? I am a planner, I am scared of uncertainty and I’d always prefer to get bad news over no news, because when I am facing uncertainty my mind goes in overdrive to try and find an “appropriate” reaction to every worst case scenario my subconscious comes up with… is it about being able to be “ok” in a response? Because not being ok, or good enough leaves me feel ashamed and belittled…?
Thoughts anyone?
I'm just curious, do you see wanting to know every detail of someone's mind an invasion of privacy or no? I would never want to know that personally, but find it really amazing and interesting that others do. I think one of my best friends might be an FA.
As a healing FA/AP I approve this message. I also thought I was an anxious preoccupied when I started PDS. But then I watched the FA videos and they explained my behaviors and thoughts better. This is all true. I was pushing people away, breaking up when triggered, ghosting. Everything made more sense when I learned the distinction.
What do you mean by PDS?
@@jazzrain666 When I signed up for the Personal Development School (PDS) the school that you are watching the videos for.
@Anne the Idealist Yes going through the school helps, but also when you join there are updated tests which focus on family, friends and romantic relationships. And it will tell you what attachment style you are in each of those areas of life.
@Anne the Idealist I found a lot of value in it. It has been life changing, and I now have a lifetime membership.
How tf do you heal this monster of an attachment style? I'm so overwhelmed I'm crying
Your plant is dancing in the background!
I am a fearful avoidant, and my partner is an anxious attachment. I definitely feel triggered when i feel smothered or controlled by him needing more from me. It makes me feel trapped and want to run away! I've had to set boundaries with him that will meet my needs and his without us both freaking out, lol. It's a working progress!
I have difficulty with Ap's cause I deactivate so fast it's just unattractive their need for constant reassurance and their big feelings which makes me think how the hell can Da's typically develop feelings for AP's. But then realised how getting chased is such a blissful feeling for that big ego of theirs and seem to live in denial a lot which makes someone who always fight for you easy to not have to put efford in someone and still get your needs met.
That was very interesting and reinforces what I already knew about my journey. I was much more anxiously attached and now, I'm much more fearful avoidant.
I would also argue that as we get older and have relationship experiences, that anxiously attached are much more likely to become more fearful avoidant. By the time anxiously attached figure out how painful it is to be in and out of relationships, our sense of trust in others and especially ourselves becomes paramount. I don't know how anyone could stay anxiously attached after having multiple experiences of over committing to people. Our mind just goes into self defense mode. It took me 10 years of alot of dating. Your results may vary 😉
2 minutes in and I thought I was AP for almost a year but NOPE. Definitely a FA, wow! Thanks Thais!
I’m(FA) currently in a situationship with someone who seems to be DA and it’s so stressful. A week or so ago it got to the point where I told them “F you, never speak to me again.” And their response was not at all what I expected. I thought they would clap back but they didn’t.
Now it’s barely holding on and I decided to let them know that I’ll wait for them and give them space. It’s most likely gonna be a few months and I am debating leaving because I think when they finally text me back that they’ll leave me anyway. I seriously don’t know what to do. Advice is very much needed.
Girl, leave. If it’s meant to be they’ll come back.
I'm assuming you are a female and the DA is male? If this is the case, you might want to leave for good, unless they're willing to start becoming self-aware, most DAs would rather have friends than an adult relationship so you leaving puts the "situationship" back on them, which is ideal as they can take years to take action or no action at all. A lot of DA's who are unaware, will treat you like they are the celebrity and you are a fan that they don't have time for. DAs don't feel strong hurt untill your dateing someone else/ are moving on. The relationship unfortunately isn't going to work unless they're willing to work on themselves... do not sign up to be a free therapist in a romantic relationship with a DA and then heavily friend-zoned when they're done with you.
I used to think I was AP but realized it was mainly because of my 8 year on/off DA ex. Just like you said - behaving very anxiously but in my mind it was a constant battle of thinking I should leave but the trauma bond I have with him made it practically impossible. It was like a nightmare constant doubts and thoughts that I should leave but feeling unable to do so. I often think my anxious pushing for closeness when he needed the opposite was in some paradoxal way actually unconscious self preservation by sabotaging the relationship to find my way out. Also during my single phases I realized I don’t really display typical AP traits but more slightly avoidant, it’s just because my relationship with my DA was my first/only serious relationship and then ongoing on/off for 8 years that I convinced myself I must be AP, but really it was just what he triggered in me.
So true. My ex of 7 years would disappear for days or weeks (even when we lived together for 5 of those years) every time we had any disagreement or conflict. Which ultimately destroyed our relationship and she left for good. Neither of us knew about attachment styles until it was too late.
Dissappear for weeks??! While living together? Um hell no. Than their stuff can suddenly disappear aswell.
@@user-js4mt1nr2y agreed. I now realize it was a weak or absent boundary of mine. Never again
This video definitely describes me. I also thought I was AA. But, as I learned more about about attachment styles, I realized I am very FA.
This is so helpful. Spot on. I thought I was AP for the longest time because I primarily dated DAs. Then I dated someone who was more anxious than I am and went straight into dismissive side. Now I'm in a long-term situationship with a DA and the "acting like an AP on the outside but feeling very conflicted/FA with your thoughts and emotions constantly" is so accurate.
I feel like I'm a disorganized cross between AP an FA but I took your quiz and it told me that I have a healthy attachment style, so now I'm really confused. Nevertheless, all your videos are so informative and have helped me understand that the things that went down in my last two relationships had so much to do with attachment, mine and theirs. It's validating to know that I did everything I possibly could with what I knew at the time. Thankful to be listening and learning more about all this now before I get into another relationship.
l think different people bring out different attachment styles out of us. You may find that you were secure until you dated an avoident who triggered anxious attachment. l may be projecting here because this is what happened to me.
What's the quiz that you took
I want to learn all of what you are teaching, but it’s so hard that my last relationship is all I can use as context so watching these videos brings up the pain of it ending, and the knowledge that I have to work on this alone. They’re gone now.
I actually took the attachment style test and found that I'm AP leaning FA.
37% anxious preoccupied & 32% fearful avoidant.
11% dismissive avoidant & 21% secure.
I'm watching this video agreeing whole heartedly with both sides lol. But I actually find that I'm mostly AP in romantic relationships & FA in all other types of relationships (for the most part).
Where did you find the test?
I was never quite sure if I was FA or AP and this explanation really helped. Thank you!
FA but with a strong tendency to obsess, fixate, unrequited, limerence and push pull. I definitely identified as AP for a long time so this was really helpful. Thank you!
I completed the test today. I’m 30% FA, 20% Anxious, 20% DA and 30% Secure.
Oh my God!!! I just found out through your WONDERFUL course on Attachment Styles and Sex, that I am indeed fearful avoidant and not anxious preoccupied. This and other videos are confirming it... I am, as you said, in a relationship with a dismissive (from almost 2 years, and now in the power struggle phase), and you are so right it was misleading. I am indeed quite mind blown.
Anyway, I truly just wanted to thank you with all my heart for your contents, for the courses, and the free trial, for your positive inspiring energy and understanding. You are helping me so much... Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!!!!
I feel like you / YT was reading my mind by bringing up this video today! I bought entry to the school over a month ago but never started the reprogramming course because I wasn't 100% sure about being AP. The quiz kept telling me I'm FA but I didn't want to believe it - I thought my partner is FA for sure, and I'm AP for sure. Perhaps in past relationships I was AP. I've fully recovered from life-long BPD in recent years (now de-diagnosed), so of course the abandonment fear overwhelmed everything while I was acutely ill (and "fear of abandonment" is such an understatement to describe BPD - it's more like a ghastly terror to the point of psychosis, hard to explain those who've not had this illness). Anyway - this explanation has clarified so much. I feel a bit more ready to start the course. Thank you!!
Thank you so much. Fearful avoidant here!
Emailed Lewis Howes about interviewing Thais on his RUclips School of Greatness show. Maybe if other PDS members write in, we can get her on there for a interview with Lewis!
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Very useful! I always used to confuse both before I learned about Attachment theory in detail!
This is an excellent topic but must say that I still don’t know what I am in the end!! 🙈🙈 Probably just a big mess!! 😄😄
We all area big mess - it’s ok 👍 ☺️ Keep your head up and stay positive!
I was today years old when I learnt that I am an anxious leaning FA! This whole time ive been "diagnosed" by my clinical psychologist as an AP and looking at things around that, but this is exactly me! 💯 😅
I feel the fp explains me in my past relationships & fa explains me now after experiencing the heartbreaks
Great! Compare and contrast approach helps me to tease out exactly where I am on this.
I am Definitely anxious my ex partner was avoidant he was very hot cold and ghosted me when we had problems in relationship instead of trying to sort out I actually thought he was narcissistic no longer together I miss him but was for the best I am now trying to heal and fix me love your channel much appreciated
Wow, this was a great break down of the difference between the two. Sometimes I wonder if I am anxious but this confirms it, definitely FA! FA leaning A, especially since I'm with a DA.
What about volatility?
Does anxious get angry and inquire alot?
Are APs hypervigilant?
I'm coming out of being FA leaning Anxious with DA but I know I lean away from people who behave too clingy. I also feel the many areas I'm secure.
This is SO clarifying, thank you! Recovering addicts almost always have attachment trauma. I'm including your channel on mine in a list of healing resources. You're so thorough about how you break this down, I'm learning so much.
Thais.. Could you make a video that would be directed especially towards Da's that just figuered out they might be avoidant.. Like if they would search for it there is like a message catered to them that is not too overwhelming but informing like maybe this could be your experience and how those core wounds can be discovered or something. Cause I really can relate to not understanding to what it means go inward, understand your fears and subcontious programming. I used to just focuss on recognising some of my coping meganisms and then think of sollutions of how they get less strong... Didn't understood how to heal the root of the problem.
Dear Thais, your presentations are priceless, but as I learn I notice that your presentation of attachment styles are only considering unmarried partners.
Is it possible to also explore the way attachment styles can impact life in a married couple ?
Why do you think that a peace of paper changes a relationship that much?
I have a question maybe someone here will be able to answer me. Is it possible that your attachment style with your family may influence the one with your romantic relationships? For example, i scored really high in DA with my family, but really high in AP with romantic relationships. Is it possible they are related? Would fixing one fix the other?
Thank you :)
Yes, we can have different attachment styles with different people (mother, father, siblings, close friends, co-workers, housemates, romantic partners etc). For each attachment style, there are a further 4 subtypes
However, generally people have a stronger foundation in one attachment style. Your attachment style encompasses a lot of information, such as; what your needs are likely/prone to be, what your activating/deactivating strategies are, what your relationship triggers are, what you experience in each of the stages of relationship, how you're likely to respond to criticism, what your core negative beliefs and core wounds are, what your stored negative associations are, how comfortable you are with vulnerability, how you're likely to deal with conflict and communication, what your values are likely/prone to be, how you are likely/prone/programmed to go about getting your needs met, the assumptions and expectations you're prone to have, the boundaries you're likely to have (or *not* have), etc etc etc.
Regarding the "fixing" - healing (reprograming) your DA side can have an impact on your AA side, and vice versa :) But you will get the most benifit from taking a deep dive into the whole attachment style, so that you can get to the core issues, as aposed to relying on one to fix the other :)
If questioning which attachment style to begin with, you could start with which relationships are causing the most triggering in your life. If it is your family relationships, then you can start with the DA side. If it's your romantic relationships, then the AA side :)
Sometimes our subconsious aims to heal our parental and/or inner child wounds *through* a romantic relationship. Though this healing rarely occurs (in my experience) due to lack of awareness and understanding of the preexisting foundation, subconsious patterns, stored negative associations and negative beliefs etc. So we tend to keep cycling and hitting the same roadblocks.
@@georgieeve2026 I really really appreciate your thorough explanation. I think a great place to start would be healing my AA attachment and seeing how I show up in my relationships then. Eventually I will make my way onto my DA side with my family.
Thank you for the clarity!
Yup, definitely FA leaning AP
A lot of these distinctions aren't working for me because they center on "in a romantic relationship..." and I've never been in one, which is one of my main motivations to fix my attachment, which I can't figure out which one to focus on because so many of your examples center on "in a romantic relationship..."
When you make this videos.. can you compared to secure.. always compare to secure. You descri6 this as secure do do this at all?
Thanks
It's hard to decide since the wounds sound so similar. Usually FAs sound like slightly less anxious APs who may walk away or are on the less anxious spectrum of AP? I've always heard/read APs don't really want closeness which is why APs chase unavailable people and tend to ignore those that give attention... I assumed they'd pull away once the partner started getting close. Or that's never the case?
Can you be both AP and FA? I think I am, I fit both criteria.
Went full circle. Dated a FA girl that was primarily dismissive. Thought I was anxious. Worked for months on myself. Realized I'm FA who searches for DAs/FAs who are more dismissive, so that I can regain that feeling of having to fight for love and having to solve conflict, like I had to when I was a child.
Idk maybe I should just get my ass up and go to therapy instead of just dreaming about that lmao.
Is it possible to cycle through attachment styles? I usually start pretty secure, then if things start sourung, i go AP. Then, if things continue to worsen, I will then lean into FA. It doesnt feel diorganized because it goes through a predictable progression.
Do you have any strategies for how to become more dismissive? I have taken a lot of attachment tests and I get disorganized or fearful avoidant every time. I see the anxious side as weakness and the dismissive side as strength. I want to learn how to just reject relationships in general, and hurt the other person first because I know that inner sense of inferiority and unworthiness is not going to heal, and I don’t want to be vulnerable or weak ever again.
I have a question for you i have both dismisive and anxious preoccupied tendencies. And i am confused about why is that🤔
my ex was like anxious while getting in a fight with her sisters, then wanted to leave them going out after being attacked, when my mom fought with her she first was sad but htne she wanted to leave, when she fought with her mom she tried to fix but then wanted to leave, while we had a fight we discussed and i didnt met her emotions and she said i should leave her alone - is she anxious or fearful avoidant? on the beginning of our relationship she was very jealous, is said to her that we would have a problem if she behave like that, i changed job pure male job, i dont have female friends, she always wanted to meet her family everyday (me not - i know now im maybe a DA) i was working too much with main job and side hustle, in the last year she was nearly all the time with her family and travelled alone with them, because i had not enough money, because i wanted to save for marriage and a bigger appartement for future kids i all said this to her, short time before break up she bought me a lot of things like new headphones, pc equipement ... i try to change my dismissive side and we made more events together... but she went on a trip to tunisia with her sister and brother in law and met there the cousin of him, the became friends and now 2 weeks after she broke up she is in a rebound with him, what should i do? we had 1 month of NC i breaked up i wrote her a letter, that i messed up and wanted to change things, she wrote me there is no comming back, we organized some appartment things and then we are now 1 month of NC she blocked me, she changed number, she created IG and collected friends like hell, she deleted me on linkedin , xing
hello Thais and PDS team, I am a part of the community. I was watching lots of videos about needs and was wondering what about the topic - How to accept/grief that some of very important needs cannot be met in a relationship (Mine are of frequent deep conversations and frequent emotional support). I communicated them clearly, my partner is learning but it is really hard for him because he is just naturally not that good into it. I know the advice to break up but I do not want that, we love each other. My partner is slowly learning how to meet those needs of mine, but it will take a long long time and I dont think he will ever be very good in that. So I have to do work on my side - to accept that it wont be as I ideally would want to. To be OKAY with outsourcing those needs outside the relationship ( also a topic that has not been touched upon, or was it?). I am reluctant to oursource them, since I am afraid that it will distance us ( maybe limiting belief?). Are there any strategies for people who dont want to leave because not all their needs are met within the relationship? How to accept that? How to still be fullfilled in a relationship? Commenters who want to suggest to break up, please do not bother, that is not what I am asking for.
I think Thais does have videos on meeting your own needs outside of your relationship. Maybe your answer lies in working on your fear that outsourcing will cause distance in your relationship.
If you're asking your partner to be something that he's not and fulfil needs that he can't meet, then removing thise expectations from him will allow your relationship to grow stronger.
Can i be switching back and forth between them?
This make me feel almost like im an even split lol but probably more anxious still!!
As am FA I generally am scared to loose my partner a lot of times projected into a fear about a potential future situation (him meeting someone/him having an accident). But in an actual fight/argument or when I'm anxious to show my boundary, in my head I'm telling myself that this might be over and the deactivation relaxes me very much. It's like playing through my worst version and suspicioun and it almost soothes me to think, that my suspicious would be proven and that I can move on knowing that I was right and I will handle that. If course all of this doesn't happen. Does someone know this mechanism as well?
Ofc... Ask any DA, this is their usual modus operandi. On the surface ofc. Truly, you are scared shitless. You were so hurt with rejection/abandonment when you were a helpless child that the prospect of being hurt again is paralyzing, and it is actually less painful to (not consciously ofc) kinda find issues and reasons to breakup before you care even more (because that happened before, no doubt it will happen again). Funny shit, you already do, otherwise you wouldn't be disengaging like this (ppl avoid anxiety, if there is no feelings, comitment, investment - no anxiety). But most ppl find that out couple of months/weeks after a breakup, or as soon as your partner pulls away. Learning to TRUST ppl again is a big part of healing. Good luck! :)
@@MissSuffle im definetly leaning DA in my deactivating patterns, but other than that I'm very FA in my core themes and dynamics. Yes, working on my Issues very much, that's why I'm here and in the school.
And happy to be in a beautiful committed relationship with someone leaning DA and having the space to reflect and work on all these things. Thank You, all the best to You as well
@@belonging9200 That's amazing and I am glad you're werkin it. We are all on this road here ☺️
I can relate to feeling like every disagreement could be a possible break up and my avoidance/deactivation relaxing me. It’s almost like I become completely numb and in some ways, stop caring about what happens.
@@LittleMissDeeDee I see that thinking pattern with myself too and Im AP... I thought about the function of that. For me it's like if I let go of this anxious thoughts that I'll be further away from resolving an issue when in reality they are just starting the vicious cycle of self fulfilling prophecy and paranoia. Basically I think that hanging on to the worst possible outcome of conflicts is a misguided way of "preparing" myself so it would hurt less. Unfortunately, shit ain't like that. My anxiety is trying to protect me when in fact it is just bringing me more pain, so I enjoy the existing relationships less. Werkin on it tho.
Gosh then I don't really know what I am except anxious, probably fearful too, since i was quiet for two weeks first when meeting this DA, after date 2 he just sent text walls and my thoughts went "Isn't he gonna ask me out again?", with anxiety but still I was quiet for weeks, later getting back and explaining myself to the DA, also explaining that I will prevent myself from doing this again. But he didn't ask me out until two weeks after this conflict. I fully undeerstand him for it.
I'm slower than the "normal" anxious person, so a little calmer, but still, that is my main feature.
Im still I love with my FA. Broke up in December after having to do a few months long distance (Sydney - Geneva). No contact for 2 months. When she got back to Sydney we tried friendship, but she was a bad friend and eventually we agreed to no contact again. She was giving confused, mixes signals. He won't commit but won't fully let me go. She kissed me. Been in no contact for 7 weeks now and she wished me a happy birthday in April. Her bday was mid - May and I chose not to wish her hbday because my hope for a future that she can't give me is tearing me apart. One week after not saying hbday I saw her on tinder. Idk what to do. Still in NC but honestly I've probs only got about 1 month left in me and I'll have to move on. I'm hoping she reaches out before I detach. His hurts.
Just move on, you cant sit around waiting for a relationship with someone who is a mess and doesnt even know what they want for themselves
It’s simply not as simple as moving on when the heart is connected Perhaps you can reach out to talk about what you’re learning through these videos. It’s a positive and proactive reason to communicate and in doing so you may become more clear on where this person legitimately is on (or off) their healing journey. Sending loving vibes as your heart heals and you educate yourself on attachment styles.
I sometimes confuse some of the charistics from certain attachementstyles. I read ones for example that anxious people also sabotages by pushing people away when thinking people will end things. But then they get like critical and blamy. But Da's can get very critical aswell.. Just more in a I made up my mind you are not good enough. Where anxious are more like I am the victom of your mistreatment I protest and maybe say I don't want you anymore in hopes they come back. Where I can do the two together even. Saying I don't get enough, that I really cared for them but also that I am totally done. Then my anxious side hopes he react and fight for me.. But if they say something my Da voice will harshly judge them for not respecting my choice.
Yes to not trusting generally.. I mean I feel not with strangers like I am not scanning for their betrayal.. It's when people get close and I feel more dependent. Than I really don't think of them cheeting that's out of my controll or leaving me.. That's fine as long as they are clear. It's the not treating me right in a relationship not feeling safe or treated right. Often I just put everything under feeling used but I guess it's about one sidedness.
-Should I stay or should I go.. It's litterly more like: Give it a chance and you know what see it from his perspective and nobody is perfect and also maybe it's my mistake.. And the otherside is You know what I don't think it's going to work, why would I suffer anylonger (mostly my own emotions), I think he's using me, I probably made everything up about his feelings and I've just been delusional he doesn't even care for me and than the more deactivated thoughts are like: you know what I don't need him, I am independent, I can be happy on my own, relationships are only problematic anyways, I was happy single so I don't need him in my life. He wasn't special anyways that's all in my mind. I am so much happier now I don't have to worry anymore. I am free again.
And yes the shame wound is so big.. I start to recognise it more and more. I feel I should do the right things even in healing that if I am doing things that goes against my reasons for deactivating I feel I am breaking the rules and doing something bad and people would shame me for making misstakes or being weak. I also learned the clear thought of: "If I would say or do this than that would be weak" is often the thing that is vulnerable and would be couragous and strong. It's the fearfull voice that is affraid to make mistakes and therefor play with my worth and my heart. But I am most of the time suffering for wishing and longing but not trying.
Also when a Da retreats I do aswell.. This is why I can't say I am more anxious.. I believe I've only have a bit of dating experience because of my previous codepentent and fixing behaviours which can look anxious and also how I don't like AP's as they look insecure, jealous, needy and too emotional and even manipulative at times. I feel that makes my life harder and it's just not attractive. But I feel with Da's we just keep avoiding eachother basically.. And the transparency I need is not given which confuses me or makes me angry. Which makes things never really start, they don't seem to ever be ready for a relationship but they also see I am not into the fwb or other constructs as again I would feel used but also cause of that shame wound.. Like I would be seen as easy with no standards. Probably why I used to dive fast into relationships aswell as some sexual safety.
Anyways sometimes I doubt myself all the sudden and think I made up I am Fa. And I make things too complicated and just have some coping meganisms that are a like.. and especially in context with Da's think I am AA. But this shows to me again how big of a Da swing I do at times and yea how these core feelings and fears are so on point.
you are brilliant
I didnt know that Im actually FA... In my last short relationship i subconciously did things to break the bridges in order for both of us not able to get back together and this way I created distance. At that time I thought im just angry and said words that cant get back anymore.
I’m 30% anxious 30% fearful avoidant 30% secure and 10% avoidant....if this is not the definition of a mess I don’t know what it is I literally have the WHOLE package of attachment styles😂😂💔
Ok, 1000% anxious 🙈
It's interesting how i feel 50% related to fearful and 50% anxious 😅😕
“In that situation with in that situation with a DA” what is a DA?
Do you know you are a healed FA only by being in a new relationship?
I have always felt that proclaiming secure or healed is only a bumper sticker until we attempt to really bond with someone.
We find out by seeing what type of partner we pick out to be in a relationship with, and if we communicate honestly and vulnerable with that person and having good boundaries and we are getting our needs met.
That's a good indicator that we are actually healed. Not a test at the end of a chapter. 😉
@@bernardzsikla5640 Thank you for answering my question 🤍
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Summed up my ex girlfriend like a book. FA of note!
wow you have perfect teeth
this literally amazing. because of you, i was able to differentiate that i’m not an AP but an FA. wow. thank you 🥹💖