0:24 - You think everything is your fault all the time 1:01 You constantly feel judged 1:26 - you are guilt tripped into decisions 1:55 - You doubt your reality 2:30 you are constantly compared to others 2:53 - You are lovebombed and punished
Manipulative behavior involves three factors, according to Stines: fear, obligation and guilt.✌✌✌ When you are being manipulated by someone you are being psychologically coerced into doing something you probably don't really want to do.
I agree with u all mom was once a very kind soul but she's now cold, guiltripping me and my sis and we r afraid when we make a small mistake she will freak and I wish WISH to leave but I can't since I don't have a job yet 😭😢😥
@@elenafarichildfair858 I’m so sorry. That’s really tough, esp if she wasn’t like that previously. What changed, do you think? Big, gentle hugs to you and your sister from a mama in the Midwest. ❤️🩹
One sign of manipulation is if the perpetrator is trying to scare you into acting against your own self interest by using fear of consequences. This can also be classified as intimidation.
Dad is trying to do this to me because he doesn't want me to transition. I've been out as trans to my parents for 5 years and I am not going to let him control my happiness. Its my body. My decisions. I am over the age of 18. Under his roof or not I have the right to seek gender affirming care.
@@smolmuffin Never let other people make decisions for you. Definitely take whatever advice they may have that seems good to you and dump the rest to the side walk. Ultimately, this is your life. Don't waste it living someone else's life. Transition is definitely a really big decision. Especially if you're getting gender reassignment surgery. Give yourself enough time to think it through thoroughly. No doubt you have already been thinking about that. Just make sure you don't rush into anything that can drastically change the rest of your life. Give yourself the necessary time that comes with transition. Personally, if I were you. I'd focus on building my life first. Move out of your father's house. Have a stable work and home life. And definitely get professional help for any mental health issues you may have like, trauma, depression, anxiety ect. That way you can properly be ready for your transition. Ultimately, if you feel unsafe, or that you're at risk of physical or psychological violence then it's best if you seek help and move out. I apologise if I've assumed too much about you. I'm just trying to help. Thank you for listening.
What if they always cry and play the victim where your stuck between being a bad friend or comforting them even if it makes you uncomfortable? What if they start ignoring and looking angry as if you did something but they don’t tell you the reason?
@@inevermetnobodylikeyou7738 That type of person may have mental health issues. Even if they do not, this behaviour is unacceptable. You need to hear this because I've delt with a similar situation. Hear this and take it in: YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO SUPPORT A PERSON THAT MAKES YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE OR WHO DOESN'T TREAT YOU RIGHT. You have no obligation to offer your time, love, effort and mind to 'help' someone, especially someone who doesn't treat you right. The only person you should look out for is yourself and those who treat you right. I put 'help' in quotations because I believe that the type of help in which that person needs is not what you are offering, or can offer. (It's not your fault for wanting to help, just understand that some people can't be helped in that traditional support fashion.) That person needs professional help from a mental health specialist. As far as I can tell, with the little information you've given me, and in relation to a similar situation I've delt with before. This person you're dealing with may be using you to get that sympathy from you. That attention you give that person. And in effect, they are trying to control you. I'll explain. When you try to leave the situation and that person. They may threaten you to keep you, by suggesting that, "You're a bad person for leaving and not supporting me." DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT! You are NOT a bad person. You simply can't help them, they need professional help. If the relationship is especially toxic, that person may say, "If you leave I'll harm myself or kill myself!" This scenario requires context. If the person threating to commit suicide or do self harm has been violent to you during your relationship. Whether that be physical, verbal, phycological, or any other type of violence, especially sexual abuse. Then DO NOT LISTEN to their suicide threat. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY! They are trying to control you and keep you with them. If they threaten you directly, "If you leave I'm going to hurt or kill you." then that's hard deal with I know, but you ABSOLUTELY MUST leave the dangerous situation and call law enforcement. The other scenario or context is if this person has not been violent to you, in your relationship. Take their threat of suicide seriously and make sure you call law enforcement. But remember, if you feel too uncomfortable to deal with this situation. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. YOU'RE SAFETY IS YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY! DON'T PUT YOURSELF IN DANGER OR JEOPARDIZE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID OF BEING A "BAD PERSON." YOU'RE NOT A BAD PERSON. Bad people take advantage of people like you! People like you, people who care, people who have good hearts. Even if they are a close friend or family member. That does not matter! What matters is how they treat you! And what matters is your own safety and health! In regards to the situation you're dealing with. Tell that person you can't help them. That they may need to see a professional to solve their problems. You can't solve it. You're not trained in that field. Apologise to that person and tell them. SEE HOW THAT PERSON RESPONDS! DECIDE IF YOU WANT THIS PERSON IN YOUR LIFE OR NOT! Remember if the situation gets dangerous or YOU'RE TOO UNCOMFORTABLE, then leave, your safety and your health is your number one priority. I really hope this helped.
My mother and sister I’ve noticed tend to give off this behaviour, my sister tried to guilt trip me into sending my mom to rehab and my mom lies and plays victim saying everyone is manipulating her children into believing she’s a drug addict. When she is. I’ve watched her!
“Did you relate to any of this signs?” I just ended up a relationship that has all what you’ve said like 10 mins ago and i was feeling guilty. So thank you so much I’m better now and i love this channel so much 🥺♥️
I also just got out of a relationship and i couldn't believe how many signs i recognized from this video. This channel and all of its videos have been extremely helpful and comforting to know I'm not going insane
i was accused of doing these things by my best friend. and she ended our friendship just this week. but i knew i wasn't doing it because i was helping her out of this because someone else was manipulating her. i'll send her this video and explain my case and show her who is. this video already shows that it wasn't me. hopefully i can get through to her and fix this all
My ex (who broke up with me because apparently I was being manipulative when I wasn't) was manipulating me the whole time. Every single one of these signs, she had them.
yeah i was accused of doing these by my best friend and she ended our friendship this week. i knew i wasn't doing it and someone else was, and this video proves my point. i'll send it to her and hopefully i can fix things
It’s insane how something happens in my life, and literally the next day Psyc2go has a video on it, like, how? It happens every time, lol. I really do love and appreciate your content Psyc2go
Unfortunately a lot of people will be using blatant lies, distortions, manipulations, broken promises, and victim blaming to further their aggressive and unscrupulous schemes. The best tactic is not to engage with their games and cut the conversation out immediately.
@@Lianna_Is_Me if it's parents u can listen from one ear and let it go from the other. If they say something that hurts u just understand they don't know you properly that's why they say stuff like that, Know who you are and never take anything that hurts you to your heart.
@@Lianna_Is_Me wel we obviously can't change parents so just ignore:) but keep in mind that the only people who would truly want you to succeed in life would be parents, they may not understand you sometimes but they still took care you at some point in life right.......
Time stamps!!! 😁✨ 1) 0:21 You feel like everything is your fault all the time 2) 1:00 You constantly feel judged 3) 1:25 You’re guilt-tripped into making decisions 4) 1:55 You doubt your reality 5) 2:30 You are constantly compared to others 6) 2:54 You are love-bombed and punished To anyone who is struggling I wish you all the best, stay strong and never stop fighting ❤️🥰✨
Yeah, I had an ex years ago that constantly blamed me for a lot of the problems going on in the relationship, even though she would always be the one yelling and throwing a fit for just asking a simple question, or even if I wasn't wrong, I would still apologize just to make things level again. Needless to say, she's gone after I caught her cheating, and I don't do that shit anymore with anybody. Being a nice person doesn't mean you turn yourself a doormat for nobody. Also, don't you guys hate it when people give you a choice and then get upset because you choose the option that's opposite what they wanted you to choose? So then why the hell even ask them to make a choice then!?! Smdh.
"Also, don't you guys hate it when people give you a choice and then get upset because you choose the option that's opposite what they wanted you to choose? So then why the hell even ask them to make a choice then!?! Smdh." It means you were never given a choice... lol
Ppl give opt to show u they are not caging you . They got upset because that's not what they wanted. U can't expect ppl not to get upset but if they don't want u to do that after giving u opt just because they got upset then yeah that's not a healthy relationship
@Fox see I call that bullshit because I often catch people who do that shit in the trap they create. If you're being asked a choice question, then you have the right to still make a choice despite what they wanted you to choose. And I just don't care if I choose "wrong."
Yes I did relate. And I’m thinking of a verrrry specific person that continuously does these things to me. Thank you for exposing her, so I am free to fix the problem.
I think i became THE manipulator without realizing it. Ironically this video has taught me what to be more aware of in myself because it's never been my intention to be this way but i have been very toxic and im going to fix it.
I remember not having a lot of friends back then (still the case now but differently) but they were all manipulative with me because I was the victim and I let them go on for a few years. Now I'm scared of making friends because I don't want to fall in another trap. Now all the friends I have are only peoples I really trust and they trust and care for me back and peoples that I've observed before... Choose wisely your friends. Really. None of them are part of my life now, I'm proud of this.
Omg, now that I am thinking about it literally all the signs were happening to me (gaslighting, comparing, love-bombing/punishment, making me question my sanity and whether I have a mental illness, guilt-tripping) always thought that she was the one because of her sick manipulations, thank god I got way past that, even after cutting off each other I was gonna be manipulated back into it, but thankfully I learned from my mistakes and I am not falling for these sick traps again!
If it's getting complicated,subtle tactics behind the scenes could be affecting you,make you feel that your making mistakes,but your not at fault for being judged so cruelly,every situation is used to guilt trip you,a reason to justify your reality and question your sanity,compare yourself to others at your peril,be yourself don't be ruled by others expectations,recognise it and establish boundaries✔️
Please get out ASAP. That’s physical abuse and you deserve better. A good first step would be to work on separating your finances from hers. Start your own bank account and start saving up to live away from her. If she seems especially angry, you could call a friend or family member and ask to stay with them for a while.
First step, get separate finances save as much as you can in a bank in only your name. 2. Keep a duffle bag on your car or near your person filled with important papers. Birth certificate, ss card, ID, license. If you have Bill's in your name with an address on them, this will help you to shut off utilities when you leave there. Keep clean clothes and shoes in plastic bag. hygiene items. 3. Phone number to a shelter, keep your phone on you at all times lock the screen, keep the charger with your phone fully charged. 4 if possible record the argument with your phone, photograph any injury. Godbless you.
Just got out of a 4 year relationship that included all of the above. Thank you for making this video. It really shows me that I made the right choice in leaving.
This is just what I needed to watch right now. Confirms the sinking feeling I’ve been having that something is off. Awareness is the first step & knowledge is power. Thank you.
As someone who has been manipulated a lot in the past ( some aren’t as bad as others) it does affect your mental health in the time of manipulation but once your out of it you face reality and you feel stronger and better because now you have the time to realize how smart you are and be a happier person without someone in the way
I love when you upload it always makes me more happier about the situation so I'm sometimes in and I had a friend that was manipulative and I just couldn't take it anymore so I snapped and told him you're not my friend anymore. And he was like fine we weren't even friends to begin with and I was like what and he said I I just used you I didn't care about you that's cool about your money and I was like. And it's a true story I just forgot to tell you
I'm unemployed and staying with a "friend". He does all 6 of these things to me, almost every day. My only other choice is to go to a homeless shelter. I really needed to hear this wake up call!
I have fall for these just here lately and I am happy to see you guys made a video because it helps me recover and learn from it and not let it happen again when I know what the signs are like.
I wonder what happens and how One would set boundaries if manipulation happened directly within a support group. It wouldn’t be right to leave the group just because of one person being offensive.
Yes, it would be. If one person is making the group toxic, it's important for your mental health to get out of there, especially if it's supposed to be a support group. In a support group you're at your most vulnerable, which means that the manipulator will Prey Upon that. One manipulator in a support group makes being in that support group literally unsafe. Plus the fact that manipulators will recruit other vulnerable people to do their dirty work, so at a certain point, it won't just be one person trying to manipulate you. You will all be manipulating each other at a certain point, just to serve the needs of that original manipulator. It's not that one person is being offensive, it's that one person is being dangerously toxic. If you're in a situation like that, get out. Things are about to get way worse.
1. 0:21 you feel like everything is your fault all the time 2. 1:01 you constantly feel judged 3. 1:26 you’re guilt-tripped into decisions 4. 1:56 you doubt reality 5. 2:31 you are constantly compared to others 6. 2:54 you are love-bombed and punished Hope this helps and have a great day!
I just got out of a manipulative relationship last night. She used every tactic mentioned in this video. She made me feel absolutely horrible for “treating her improperly”, even though I always treated her like royalty. Everything was always my fault to her. Thanks to this video, I’m reassured that leaving her was the right thing to do. I feel so much better now that she’s gone :)
hey, i’ve got a question. how would you get out of a manipulative relationship if it’s with your sibling and your still a child? (a young child, i’m 10 years old) thanks! also, my grandma that lives with me shows most of these signs, and everyone in my close family shows at least two. is this ok? btw, it’s okay if you can’t answer these questions. i just wanna know what i should do.
@@sanije5955 well first off, find out why they are doing it. Second, talk to an adult you trust that can help you. Third, if that doesn't work, try talking to them directly.
I wish I had this years ago, one "partner" doused me in manipulation and I felt something was off, just didn't know what, got forced into many things, always being thrown the phrase "I can understand if you don't wanna do this with me", current one only douses me in what looks like partial manipulation sometimes, but I think it's because of the previous partner, but I'm happy with the current one, never drained, but still, wish I had this back then
Felt like this and this is why I choose to allow my partners whether business or intimate the freedom of choice. If you have to be dishonest and exploitative in extremes then it’s no longer worth investing in. Thoughts and prayers
I really love this channel I've been watching psych2go for so long and it really helps me and I can spread the knowledge. Thank you for what you do, it's amazing ❤️
This hits really close to home for me bc I just ended a year long relationship with a manipulator. At first I wasn't sure I was being manipulated, I just knew something felt off, but I was slipping into a dark place. But I actually started watching Psych2Go last year and it helped me to slowly start recognizing my situation, and thanks to this and the counsel of some good friends, I'm glad to say I found the strength to walk away from that relationship and I'm doing a lot better now. Never stop what you're doing Psych2Go! It really helps
I was with a woman who is completely like that, & she even used her own children as a manipulation tool ( they started calling me daddy, she forced me to change her kids diapers, cook their food, dress them.) & I felt extremely uncomfortable with it. Now, I'm single again & I moved out of her house.
This video really helped. I'm currently in a time of my life where I have 2 friends make me feel like garbage half the time, if not more. I have no idea if they're doing this intentionally but, honestly, it doesn't matter. It's f**king disgusting. Right now I am doing my best to cut them off since I'm in a complicated situation with them. But for anyone reading this: be aware of how your friends make you feel and take steps to cutting them off from your life if they make you feel like s**t, do not let the good times and kind gestures fool you.
I can relate, unfortunately. This dude was nice in the beginning and made me feel important. He slowly ignored me, most likely bc I was spamming him. (I couldn't help it bc I had anxiety when he didn't answer, and I also have autism.) He always made excuses on why he doesn't answer me. I've explained to him that it's anxiety spamming, but he still didn't understand. That left me to be very depressed. I'm in a much better place now that I'm barely talking to him anymore, and that I have other friends to talk to that I know will respond to me. (maybe not immediately, but eventually.)
Im glad i havent noticed any of these with people i know. Ive either shut them down or called them out so i never stuck around to experience the hardships
The fact that I got 6 out of 6 on this definitely tells me that my two former so called friends were nothing but emotional manipulators. I’m definitely much better without them.
I can somewhat tell now when I'm being manipulated "thanks" to an old highschool friend, it's just telling the difference between if someone's doing it deliberately or not is what I still struggle with.
Ended a 4 and a half year relationship where I engaged this person. They did all of these very strongly and often. I attempted to unalive myself bc of it. I am better now and can see all the things that happened. I feel sorry to past me for making him go through that. I am now mostly happy and have great friends who love and accept me and know about my past. Thank you for this video and I hope it bring awareness to a lot of people. This is truly something that can save someone's life if they listen.
Hello there is the quick timestamp if you're in hurry ! 0:22 : 1)"You feel like everything is your fault all the time" 1:00 : 2)"You constantly feel judged" 1:25 : 3)"You're guilt-tripped into decisions" 1:55 : 4)"You doubt your reality" 2:30 : 5)"You are constantly compared to others" 2:55 : 6)"You are love-bombed and punished" 3:22 Bonus) Tactics they might use to make you punish you, make you feel guilty with time. Have a nice day and don't forget to stay hydrated :D
This video is so true, I had experienced in my relationship. I was a nice guy who was sparing my time everytime, it was feelin like I'm taking an appointment. I'm the guy who was begging sorry for raising any question, and for no reason just coz our relationship shouldn't shatter. Inbetween they'll introduce another third person who'll replace you. Atlast I started thinking why everytime me? And raised many questions which broke relationship, but I'm happy. Coz *Loneliness is better than toxic relationship* :D
Even though i have left my friend a while ago i didn't realize he wasn't being the best person. This helped me realize what he was doing was (most likely) manipulation. Thanks
A really close friend of mine was being manipulative towards me, at first I didn’t realised that but after spending more alone with them I started seeing how toxic they were towards me. They always said things that were supposed to make me sad an feel wrong.
When you constantly have to make excuses for the person and argue with your inner monologue saying, “no, you’re just being sensitive!”..you are being manipulated! Healthy relationships don’t make you feel drained. Spend time with people who love you and want to see you do good and you’ll see what I’m talking about! -Mr.SmartCity
The one bright side about having been in any form of manipulative relationship is that once you leave it you can see all the manipulative behavior at first you get angry at yourself for not realizing it earlier but then all the horrible feelings and doubts you were feeling make sense as not really you but the other person.
I feel so trapped in a relationship that checks all these boxes. I often feel like it's my fault for being so passive and enabling his manipulation with my own behavior. I make it SO easy for him to treat me like trash. I feel incapable of defending myself; I just dissociate and curl into a ball, letting the verbal abuse sink in until I eventually start apologizing. I'll beg him to stop yelling at me and it just eggs him on. I've told him "I'm afraid of you" and it had zero effect. He told me that when he's in pain, it makes him feel better to hurt me and he knows he's good at it. He has no limits when he's in a rage; he'll go as low as possible, bringing up my r*pe, my family, exes, etc. But then, when the rage subsides, he's protective, loving, affectionate, kind. All these things but rarely is he SORRY. It would be too devastating to his sense of self, I think, to recognize the extent of his abuse. It would kill him to admit that he's a manipulator. It hurts me to contemplate how hard that realization would be for him. Sometimes I think I care more about protecting him than I care about protecting myself. This dynamic is exhausting and confusing, and the worst part is that the on-and-off emotional abuse has steadily eroded my sense of reality and strength of self. His rage goes away but the hurt that's inflicted on me stays. My heart is bruised and my mind is hazy. I'm scared of the day that I finally start to believe all the cruel things he says to me when he's angry..... I'm stupid, I'm selfish, I'm a slut, I'm fucked up, I'm nobody....things I don't think even he believes. I wish I didn't love him so that it would be easy to leave but I also feel afraid of repeating this dynamic with my next partner due to my passivity. I think my open heart is a beautiful thing but it makes it SO damn easy for him to hurt me. Sorry for the rant. I just feel so alone in this dynamic, too embarrassed to talk to friends about it. I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone and if you can, please put yourself first. XO.
I’m in a complex relationship with my best friend I always say that I’m in the wrong no matter how much they tell me I’m not I make self-destructive jokes around them and force them to brush it off by complimenting them, so that they feel better about themselves and realise how commended they are (and it works!) I gaslight them to understand themselves better (making them look at themself and the people around them positively benefits them) and appreciate how perfect they are I constantly compare them to me by bringing up my worst points contrasted to their best points to bring up their self-esteem + confidence I lovebomb them but I actually love them. I couldn't have a better best friend, one who actually accepts me for who I am (or at least I think they do) And they've finally got the message. They've become more confident, outgoing, smarter, and overall better. I helped them overcome a ruined relationship of 5 years in just 6 months. They've given me nothing but just the sight of their pretty smile gives me giggles. That's all the reason I need to keep living, honestly
Sometime we can just misunderstand someone having these Signs but having these signs doesn't mean they r being toxic...they might have some other problems..don't be quick to judge
Thanks, my girlfriend finally got over her ex's manipulation, reverse psychology, and guilt trip. Where he was trying to win her back by making her feel bad about it. That ex of hers used to abuse her in her past. I dont want her going back to that type of person.
Believe me we are all having those issues piece by piece nobody can be perfect good at all it depends how can you control it… don’t let your bad thoughts become possessive of you don’t do as emotional leans… you can use that issue sometimes just to survive and protect yourself from the nasty ppl on this planet Good luck guys
I think I used to be a manipulator when I was going to a really hard time with depression. I blamed my boyfriend for everything that was wrong, how I ended up homeless, pregnant, and abandoned by my family. Thankfully I don’t feel that way toward him, but I remember being pretty awful to him, making him feel guilty about everything
being autistic, a nice person, and having serious difficulty understanding body language and most non-verbal communication, I have been at least a bit gullible in one way or another for most of my life. In school the kids gleefully took advantage of that, and my nice guy disposition to torment me. I was genuine. I assumed everyone else was too. Well, now I have PTSD. Thanks a lot you little creeps. Forgiveness is hard, but I'm working on it. God, help me.
Is there anything on about being a middle child and on how the older and younger kids get more respect and more focus from the parents? I’m a middle child
The love punish thing aswell as many other manipulative behaviours are also common among partners with borderline disorder where it often is not a conscious thing but looks a lot like it. Its a result of splitting/black & white thinking, severe fear of abandonment, intense mood swings and such. The mood swings can result in a behaviour which the person with borderline really didnt want to have leading to severe feelings of guilt, overcompensating affection, pleading and so on. The mood swings and splitting can be caused of the smallest worry, interpreted sign of the partner thinking of leaving which causes desperate behaviours. Its very common that an abusive partner has a personality disorder like borderline. Its not less wrong to be manipulative regardless of having the personality disorder or not.
... Im not sure how to take this at this point, These things are exactly what my mother does. She will often make it MY FAULT if say... she had a bad day at work too. I love her and dont want her to leave me, but i dont want her to mess with me either
This is a really good Video i recommend to those who are unintentionally manipulative or manipulatedly manipulative or any one whos manipulative in any ways to watch this. This point out every behavior , this is a really good educational channel 👍💙
one of my friends mentioned that my best friend was manipulative and that’s why he wasn’t her friend anymore.. i realized that she really is manipulative today… it hurts that’s she’s using me and being manipulative because i have a hard time saying no and such.
i related hard to the part where you said they try to make you trust them, i met a manipulative person and i couldn't put my finger on why i didn't feel safe opening up to them and i even told them i was sorry i couldn't open up more but i just don't feel comfortable and after a while of trying to break down your walls and it doesn't work, their masks slips VERY fast. it's like they get aggravated when they can't trick someone into trusting them.
sign number 7. you are dating online and there is a good chance they only care about you're money and have no interest in you. this has been my experience so far, and it's one person after another. it's hard to find someone actually looking for love I feel.
I've been compared to others at one of my previous jobs by my kitchen supervisor, hearing him say something like " if they can do it that fast, you can too!"
By what I hear in this video I’ve always been manipulated by my parents. The question I hate that was/is asked is “Are you sure?”when making a decision.
I think, i feel enough. I feel enough with my life. I don't want to know nor draw it again. It's already colorful. I don't want to ruin the color. I wanna leave it like that. I wanna leave it while it's still beautiful. While i got the ranks, good grades, good attitude, get people's attention in a good way, and nothing's bad. Cause i'm afraid that the next thing i do will only ruin the color.
My dad does nearly all of these. "I love and support you!" (yet destroys my self confidence and doesn't accept that I'm trans) "I moved out when I was 17/19 why couldn't you" Always blames everything on my room being messy. Threatens to destroy my stuff or kick me out. Attempted to gaslit me into believing I wasn't mentally sane enough to make medical decisions. I could go on.
My step mom does this... And I can't move out for 5 years! Horray!! I told her about my relationship? Now she uses it against me to ensure I do everything that she wants me to. Always has periods of time where I feel like she's actually changed and that it really is my fault that she is mean to me. She's been around since I was 7. I hope anyone reading this can escape and deal with whatever troubles come their way :) Remember to eat, drink water, and get sleep!
My last bf did most, if not all, of these things. I wanted to be happy and for him to be happy, though he never was, and he convinced me that I couldn't be either. Finally I learned whatever it is the universe needed me to learn, or at least I qualified for a different sort of lesson. I was able to disconnect from him in favor of a man that I surely invented from dreams I've had all my life.
Last week my mum bought me flowers and icecream and was really nice to me for that week and then the day after she got me gifts we got into an argument over me wanting to clean my room and it escalated so badly I had to call the police just for he to let me out the house. And how today I’m going back home and I really don’t want to but I’m scared of the outcome if i don’t go back..
I must admit that I do a couple of these things unconsciously, meaning I don't do it on purpose and that relationships are very hard and complicated in general. I do feel like only a couple of these apply to me so I guess I failed the manipulator test? Tell me if I'm wrong.. maybe part of the problem is that I've been in so many relationships that I think I don't know anymore and I've been manipulated into being a manipulator... Of course I feel like there are many other factors that come into play but I'm just not sure..
Sometimes people develop toxic habits with dealing with others. A red flag in friend group I cut off was most would of them would treat me fine one on one but in groups they would ignore me if they didn't like what I said or triangulate belittling me. So it may be unconscious but check and see if you only take your negative feelings out with a person when someone else in the room is already being negative towards them. Not liking their vibes is also not considered constructive criticism in most healthy circles especially if that person is confronting you about you exhibiting any of the behaviours listed in the video.
I'm starting to question myself if I'm the manipulator. Maybe the person has rubbed off on me. But my mental health just went down the drain so to cope now i look for excuses, I always get told I'm playing the victim and now I don't even know what's right or wrong anymore
These can all be accidental, too. That doesn't mean they're ok, but it does mean the manipulatoor has a better chance of actually owning up to their behaviors and really trying to change. The people can also do it to each other, and that can *also* be accidental.
What are your top pick movies or Netflix series around the theme of manipulation? Comment below.
no clue
girl from nowhere kinda has that theme
Don't know
Gone girl !
Umbrella academy
I feel it's important to point out that this can be a romantic partner, a parent, a sibling, a colleague/peer, literally anybody.
I've even seen people being manipulated and talked down on by doctors and therapists. It's messed up
@@S0FTFUZZYMAN_XO Just, Wow. People aren't the best kind of animal.
@@sorafujita6659 agreed
IM LITERALLY BEING MANIPULATED BY A PEER RN
You are so true when you said that. I agree it can be anyone no matter who they are to you.
0:24 - You think everything is your fault all the time
1:01 You constantly feel judged
1:26 - you are guilt tripped into decisions
1:55 - You doubt your reality
2:30 you are constantly compared to others
2:53 - You are lovebombed and punished
Thanks!
@@PsychologyRefresh you're welcome :D
Perfect description of my dad
100% my mother
same with my dad
Manipulative behavior involves three factors, according to Stines: fear, obligation and guilt.✌✌✌ When you are being manipulated by someone you are being psychologically coerced into doing something you probably don't really want to do.
I understand everything you’re going through❗️❗️ ruclips.net/video/_GL8Y7AKb9k/видео.html 🖤❗️🙇🏽♂️🖤
These irresponsible dysfunctional people constantly pushing THIER AGENDA onto ME!!
I agree with u all mom was once a very kind soul but she's now cold, guiltripping me and my sis and we r afraid when we make a small mistake she will freak and I wish WISH to leave but I can't since I don't have a job yet 😭😢😥
this is my office workplace culture omg
@@elenafarichildfair858 I’m so sorry. That’s really tough, esp if she wasn’t like that previously. What changed, do you think? Big, gentle hugs to you and your sister from a mama in the Midwest. ❤️🩹
One sign of manipulation is if the perpetrator is trying to scare you into acting against your own self interest by using fear of consequences.
This can also be classified as intimidation.
ruclips.net/video/0XNLcMSkyoI/видео.html
Dad is trying to do this to me because he doesn't want me to transition. I've been out as trans to my parents for 5 years and I am not going to let him control my happiness. Its my body. My decisions. I am over the age of 18. Under his roof or not I have the right to seek gender affirming care.
@@smolmuffin
Never let other people make decisions for you. Definitely take whatever advice they may have that seems good to you and dump the rest to the side walk. Ultimately, this is your life. Don't waste it living someone else's life.
Transition is definitely a really big decision. Especially if you're getting gender reassignment surgery. Give yourself enough time to think it through thoroughly. No doubt you have already been thinking about that. Just make sure you don't rush into anything that can drastically change the rest of your life. Give yourself the necessary time that comes with transition.
Personally, if I were you. I'd focus on building my life first. Move out of your father's house. Have a stable work and home life. And definitely get professional help for any mental health issues you may have like, trauma, depression, anxiety ect.
That way you can properly be ready for your transition.
Ultimately, if you feel unsafe, or that you're at risk of physical or psychological violence then it's best if you seek help and move out.
I apologise if I've assumed too much about you. I'm just trying to help. Thank you for listening.
What if they always cry and play the victim where your stuck between being a bad friend or comforting them even if it makes you uncomfortable? What if they start ignoring and looking angry as if you did something but they don’t tell you the reason?
@@inevermetnobodylikeyou7738
That type of person may have mental health issues. Even if they do not, this behaviour is unacceptable.
You need to hear this because I've delt with a similar situation. Hear this and take it in:
YOU ARE NOT A BAD PERSON IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO SUPPORT A PERSON THAT MAKES YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE OR WHO DOESN'T TREAT YOU RIGHT.
You have no obligation to offer your time, love, effort and mind to 'help' someone, especially someone who doesn't treat you right. The only person you should look out for is yourself and those who treat you right. I put 'help' in quotations because I believe that the type of help in which that person needs is not what you are offering, or can offer. (It's not your fault for wanting to help, just understand that some people can't be helped in that traditional support fashion.) That person needs professional help from a mental health specialist. As far as I can tell, with the little information you've given me, and in relation to a similar situation I've delt with before. This person you're dealing with may be using you to get that sympathy from you. That attention you give that person. And in effect, they are trying to control you. I'll explain. When you try to leave the situation and that person. They may threaten you to keep you, by suggesting that, "You're a bad person for leaving and not supporting me." DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT! You are NOT a bad person. You simply can't help them, they need professional help. If the relationship is especially toxic, that person may say, "If you leave I'll harm myself or kill myself!" This scenario requires context. If the person threating to commit suicide or do self harm has been violent to you during your relationship. Whether that be physical, verbal, phycological, or any other type of violence, especially sexual abuse. Then DO NOT LISTEN to their suicide threat. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY! They are trying to control you and keep you with them.
If they threaten you directly, "If you leave I'm going to hurt or kill you." then that's hard deal with I know, but you ABSOLUTELY MUST leave the dangerous situation and call law enforcement.
The other scenario or context is if this person has not been violent to you, in your relationship. Take their threat of suicide seriously and make sure you call law enforcement. But remember, if you feel too uncomfortable to deal with this situation. LEAVE IMMEDIATELY.
YOU'RE SAFETY IS YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY! DON'T PUT YOURSELF IN DANGER OR JEOPARDIZE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID OF BEING A "BAD PERSON."
YOU'RE NOT A BAD PERSON.
Bad people take advantage of people like you! People like you, people who care, people who have good hearts.
Even if they are a close friend or family member. That does not matter! What matters is how they treat you! And what matters is your own safety and health!
In regards to the situation you're dealing with. Tell that person you can't help them. That they may need to see a professional to solve their problems. You can't solve it. You're not trained in that field. Apologise to that person and tell them.
SEE HOW THAT PERSON RESPONDS!
DECIDE IF YOU WANT THIS PERSON IN YOUR LIFE OR NOT!
Remember if the situation gets dangerous or YOU'RE TOO UNCOMFORTABLE, then leave, your safety and your health is your number one priority.
I really hope this helped.
It's very hard to walk away when you love the person, but it's necessary. That's the best for you. Be strong, guys! We can do it!
U love them more than yourself, you lose yourself in a toxic relationship, that’s why it’s hard
Yes. If that person loves you the same way, they would've changed their behavior long ago. You deserve better. Stay strong!
You said it! It can be painful to leave, though the pain of staying is far worse.
My mother and sister I’ve noticed tend to give off this behaviour, my sister tried to guilt trip me into sending my mom to rehab and my mom lies and plays victim saying everyone is manipulating her children into believing she’s a drug addict. When she is. I’ve watched her!
“Did you relate to any of this signs?”
I just ended up a relationship that has all what you’ve said like 10 mins ago and i was feeling guilty. So thank you so much I’m better now and i love this channel so much 🥺♥️
I also just got out of a relationship and i couldn't believe how many signs i recognized from this video. This channel and all of its videos have been extremely helpful and comforting to know I'm not going insane
@@nickoyasu2407 so proud of you. You’re doing awesome!
@@shahendaelamir3053 and I'm proud of you too !
Very cool. You both deserve so much better. Best wishes.
Stay strong
May God bless you 💖
I hate how accurate this is. I recently got out of a toxic relationship with someone who used manipulation.
Same happened to me too!
Yea my gf would use manipulation as well, lies, excuses, gaslighting etc, I just walked away without saying a word really
i was accused of doing these things by my best friend. and she ended our friendship just this week. but i knew i wasn't doing it because i was helping her out of this because someone else was manipulating her. i'll send her this video and explain my case and show her who is. this video already shows that it wasn't me. hopefully i can get through to her and fix this all
Congrats!
Everything here is what my 2nd best friend does.... He's not my friend anymore
My ex (who broke up with me because apparently I was being manipulative when I wasn't) was manipulating me the whole time. Every single one of these signs, she had them.
Often when someone accuses another about something it is likely they are doing it themselves.
yeah i was accused of doing these by my best friend and she ended our friendship this week. i knew i wasn't doing it and someone else was, and this video proves my point. i'll send it to her and hopefully i can fix things
@@austinspears6254 best of luck 🤞
It’s insane how something happens in my life, and literally the next day Psyc2go has a video on it, like, how? It happens every time, lol. I really do love and appreciate your content Psyc2go
Divine timing from the universe. It's a very common thing
might be because these topics are so common in life and you feel like its just you but this topcis literally came up in my life about a month ago
Damn, now I think I'm noticing the same thing. I like it, these videos help me see myself. 👀they make me wanna change. For the better.
Thank you for your support
Unfortunately a lot of people will be using blatant lies, distortions, manipulations, broken promises, and victim blaming to further their aggressive and unscrupulous schemes. The best tactic is not to engage with their games and cut the conversation out immediately.
Very true ;/
But It's my parents and I live with them..
@@Lianna_Is_Me if it's parents u can listen from one ear and let it go from the other. If they say something that hurts u just understand they don't know you properly that's why they say stuff like that, Know who you are and never take anything that hurts you to your heart.
@@srujanpetumpuri2900 thanks but they say that all the time
@@Lianna_Is_Me wel we obviously can't change parents so just ignore:) but keep in mind that the only people who would truly want you to succeed in life would be parents, they may not understand you sometimes but they still took care you at some point in life right.......
Time stamps!!! 😁✨
1) 0:21 You feel like everything is your fault all the time
2) 1:00 You constantly feel judged
3) 1:25 You’re guilt-tripped into making decisions
4) 1:55 You doubt your reality
5) 2:30 You are constantly compared to others
6) 2:54 You are love-bombed and punished
To anyone who is struggling I wish you all the best, stay strong and never stop fighting ❤️🥰✨
I understand everything you’re going through❗️❗️ ruclips.net/video/_GL8Y7AKb9k/видео.html 🖤❗️🙇🏽♂️🖤
thank you! i honestly feel like im manipulating myself, cuz i dont know anyone who could be manipulating me, yet i relate to most of these
The wake up call I hate to admit I needed 🥺
Yeah, I had an ex years ago that constantly blamed me for a lot of the problems going on in the relationship, even though she would always be the one yelling and throwing a fit for just asking a simple question, or even if I wasn't wrong, I would still apologize just to make things level again. Needless to say, she's gone after I caught her cheating, and I don't do that shit anymore with anybody. Being a nice person doesn't mean you turn yourself a doormat for nobody. Also, don't you guys hate it when people give you a choice and then get upset because you choose the option that's opposite what they wanted you to choose? So then why the hell even ask them to make a choice then!?! Smdh.
"Also, don't you guys hate it when people give you a choice and then get upset because you choose the option that's opposite what they wanted you to choose? So then why the hell even ask them to make a choice then!?! Smdh."
It means you were never given a choice... lol
Ppl give opt to show u they are not caging you .
They got upset because that's not what they wanted.
U can't expect ppl not to get upset but if they don't want u to do that after giving u opt just because they got upset then yeah that's not a healthy relationship
@Fox see I call that bullshit because I often catch people who do that shit in the trap they create. If you're being asked a choice question, then you have the right to still make a choice despite what they wanted you to choose. And I just don't care if I choose "wrong."
That last line ... THE ACCURACY!!!
@@johnbakasmoothhotchocolate There is no right or wrong there is only the "right" choice for you at the moment you took that decision.
Yes I did relate. And I’m thinking of a verrrry specific person that continuously does these things to me. Thank you for exposing her, so I am free to fix the problem.
ruclips.net/video/0XNLcMSkyoI/видео.html
Fix the problem as in leave? They probably won't change
I think i became THE manipulator without realizing it. Ironically this video has taught me what to be more aware of in myself because it's never been my intention to be this way but i have been very toxic and im going to fix it.
I remember not having a lot of friends back then (still the case now but differently) but they were all manipulative with me because I was the victim and I let them go on for a few years. Now I'm scared of making friends because I don't want to fall in another trap. Now all the friends I have are only peoples I really trust and they trust and care for me back and peoples that I've observed before...
Choose wisely your friends. Really.
None of them are part of my life now, I'm proud of this.
ruclips.net/video/0XNLcMSkyoI/видео.html
I'm extremely selective about the friends I make.
Omg, now that I am thinking about it literally all the signs were happening to me (gaslighting, comparing, love-bombing/punishment, making me question my sanity and whether I have a mental illness, guilt-tripping) always thought that she was the one because of her sick manipulations, thank god I got way past that, even after cutting off each other I was gonna be manipulated back into it, but thankfully I learned from my mistakes and I am not falling for these sick traps again!
If it's getting complicated,subtle tactics behind the scenes could be affecting you,make you feel that your making mistakes,but your not at fault for being judged so cruelly,every situation is used to guilt trip you,a reason to justify your reality and question your sanity,compare yourself to others at your peril,be yourself don't be ruled by others expectations,recognise it and establish boundaries✔️
My girlfriend always beats me up when she's mad. I'm always afraid, and I feel like I'm always trying to read between the lines on what she says...
Please get out ASAP. That’s physical abuse and you deserve better.
A good first step would be to work on separating your finances from hers. Start your own bank account and start saving up to live away from her. If she seems especially angry, you could call a friend or family member and ask to stay with them for a while.
Well that's not love is it that's abuse and if she does that to you she'll do it to someone else if you stay with her it won't stop
get out ! what are you waiting for ? this is not love.
First step, get separate finances save as much as you can in a bank in only your name. 2. Keep a duffle bag on your car or near your person filled with important papers. Birth certificate, ss card, ID, license. If you have Bill's in your name with an address on them, this will help you to shut off utilities when you leave there. Keep clean clothes and shoes in plastic bag. hygiene items. 3. Phone number to a shelter, keep your phone on you at all times lock the screen, keep the charger with your phone fully charged. 4 if possible record the argument with your phone, photograph any injury. Godbless you.
Just got out of a 4 year relationship that included all of the above. Thank you for making this video. It really shows me that I made the right choice in leaving.
This is just what I needed to watch right now. Confirms the sinking feeling I’ve been having that something is off. Awareness is the first step & knowledge is power. Thank you.
As someone who has been manipulated a lot in the past ( some aren’t as bad as others) it does affect your mental health in the time of manipulation but once your out of it you face reality and you feel stronger and better because now you have the time to realize how smart you are and be a happier person without someone in the way
I love when you upload it always makes me more happier about the situation so I'm sometimes in and I had a friend that was manipulative and I just couldn't take it anymore so I snapped and told him you're not my friend anymore. And he was like fine we weren't even friends to begin with and I was like what and he said I I just used you I didn't care about you that's cool about your money and I was like. And it's a true story I just forgot to tell you
I understand everything you’re going through❗️❗️ ruclips.net/video/_GL8Y7AKb9k/видео.html 🖤❗️🙇🏽♂️🖤
I love this song such a good song
I'm unemployed and staying with a "friend". He does all 6 of these things to me, almost every day. My only other choice is to go to a homeless shelter. I really needed to hear this wake up call!
Are you able to find a job, post pandemic im sure you can find something and prioritize yourself over a sad and toxic person
Let me tell you, don’t manipulate people, this video can teach us not to manipulate people.
I have fall for these just here lately and I am happy to see you guys made a video because it helps me recover and learn from it and not let it happen again when I know what the signs are like.
I wonder what happens and how One would set boundaries if manipulation happened directly within a support group. It wouldn’t be right to leave the group just because of one person being offensive.
ruclips.net/video/0XNLcMSkyoI/видео.html
Yes, it would be. If one person is making the group toxic, it's important for your mental health to get out of there, especially if it's supposed to be a support group. In a support group you're at your most vulnerable, which means that the manipulator will Prey Upon that. One manipulator in a support group makes being in that support group literally unsafe. Plus the fact that manipulators will recruit other vulnerable people to do their dirty work, so at a certain point, it won't just be one person trying to manipulate you. You will all be manipulating each other at a certain point, just to serve the needs of that original manipulator. It's not that one person is being offensive, it's that one person is being dangerously toxic. If you're in a situation like that, get out. Things are about to get way worse.
Would you like us to make a video on this?
@@Psych2go Sure.
Perfect timing omg! Thank you psych to go!!!!!
Thank you for this video! I cannot imagine if I was being manipulated or not. Again, thank you so much!
ruclips.net/video/0XNLcMSkyoI/видео.html
1. 0:21 you feel like everything is your fault all the time
2. 1:01 you constantly feel judged
3. 1:26 you’re guilt-tripped into decisions
4. 1:56 you doubt reality
5. 2:31 you are constantly compared to others
6. 2:54 you are love-bombed and punished
Hope this helps and have a great day!
I understand everything you’re going through❗️❗️ ruclips.net/video/_GL8Y7AKb9k/видео.html 🖤❗️🙇🏽♂️🖤
ruclips.net/video/0XNLcMSkyoI/видео.html
I just got out of a manipulative relationship last night. She used every tactic mentioned in this video. She made me feel absolutely horrible for “treating her improperly”, even though I always treated her like royalty. Everything was always my fault to her.
Thanks to this video, I’m reassured that leaving her was the right thing to do. I feel so much better now that she’s gone :)
hey, i’ve got a question. how would you get out of a manipulative relationship if it’s with your sibling and your still a child? (a young child, i’m 10 years old) thanks! also, my grandma that lives with me shows most of these signs, and everyone in my close family shows at least two. is this ok? btw, it’s okay if you can’t answer these questions. i just wanna know what i should do.
I feel that. I also recently got out of a manipulative relationship.
@@sanije5955 well first off, find out why they are doing it. Second, talk to an adult you trust that can help you. Third, if that doesn't work, try talking to them directly.
@@cubez9964 shitty ass advice
@@cubez9964 ok, thank you!
I wish I had this years ago, one "partner" doused me in manipulation and I felt something was off, just didn't know what, got forced into many things, always being thrown the phrase "I can understand if you don't wanna do this with me", current one only douses me in what looks like partial manipulation sometimes, but I think it's because of the previous partner, but I'm happy with the current one, never drained, but still, wish I had this back then
ruclips.net/video/0XNLcMSkyoI/видео.html
I needed this so much! It's been like millions of years I felt like I was always wrong but it has made me strongest so far. Thanks to the gaslighters!
Felt like this and this is why I choose to allow my partners whether business or intimate the freedom of choice. If you have to be dishonest and exploitative in extremes then it’s no longer worth investing in. Thoughts and prayers
I really love this channel I've been watching psych2go for so long and it really helps me and I can spread the knowledge. Thank you for what you do, it's amazing ❤️
This hits really close to home for me bc I just ended a year long relationship with a manipulator. At first I wasn't sure I was being manipulated, I just knew something felt off, but I was slipping into a dark place. But I actually started watching Psych2Go last year and it helped me to slowly start recognizing my situation, and thanks to this and the counsel of some good friends, I'm glad to say I found the strength to walk away from that relationship and I'm doing a lot better now. Never stop what you're doing Psych2Go! It really helps
ruclips.net/video/0XNLcMSkyoI/видео.html
I tremble in fear to people who actually enjoy being the victims of manipulation in a romantic relationship.
I was with a woman who is completely like that, & she even used her own children as a manipulation tool ( they started calling me daddy, she forced me to change her kids diapers, cook their food, dress them.) & I felt extremely uncomfortable with it. Now, I'm single again & I moved out of her house.
This video really helped. I'm currently in a time of my life where I have 2 friends make me feel like garbage half the time, if not more. I have no idea if they're doing this intentionally but, honestly, it doesn't matter. It's f**king disgusting. Right now I am doing my best to cut them off since I'm in a complicated situation with them. But for anyone reading this: be aware of how your friends make you feel and take steps to cutting them off from your life if they make you feel like s**t, do not let the good times and kind gestures fool you.
I can relate, unfortunately. This dude was nice in the beginning and made me feel important. He slowly ignored me, most likely bc I was spamming him. (I couldn't help it bc I had anxiety when he didn't answer, and I also have autism.) He always made excuses on why he doesn't answer me. I've explained to him that it's anxiety spamming, but he still didn't understand. That left me to be very depressed. I'm in a much better place now that I'm barely talking to him anymore, and that I have other friends to talk to that I know will respond to me. (maybe not immediately, but eventually.)
Im glad i havent noticed any of these with people i know. Ive either shut them down or called them out so i never stuck around to experience the hardships
The fact that I got 6 out of 6 on this definitely tells me that my two former so called friends were nothing but emotional manipulators. I’m definitely much better without them.
I can somewhat tell now when I'm being manipulated "thanks" to an old highschool friend, it's just telling the difference between if someone's doing it deliberately or not is what I still struggle with.
Ended a 4 and a half year relationship where I engaged this person. They did all of these very strongly and often. I attempted to unalive myself bc of it. I am better now and can see all the things that happened. I feel sorry to past me for making him go through that. I am now mostly happy and have great friends who love and accept me and know about my past. Thank you for this video and I hope it bring awareness to a lot of people. This is truly something that can save someone's life if they listen.
Hello there is the quick timestamp if you're in hurry !
0:22 : 1)"You feel like everything is your fault all the time"
1:00 : 2)"You constantly feel judged"
1:25 : 3)"You're guilt-tripped into decisions"
1:55 : 4)"You doubt your reality"
2:30 : 5)"You are constantly compared to others"
2:55 : 6)"You are love-bombed and punished"
3:22 Bonus) Tactics they might use to make you punish you, make you feel guilty with time.
Have a nice day and don't forget to stay hydrated :D
This video is so true, I had experienced in my relationship.
I was a nice guy who was sparing my time everytime, it was feelin like I'm taking an appointment.
I'm the guy who was begging sorry for raising any question, and for no reason just coz our relationship shouldn't shatter.
Inbetween they'll introduce another third person who'll replace you.
Atlast I started thinking why everytime me? And raised many questions which broke relationship, but I'm happy. Coz *Loneliness is better than toxic relationship* :D
instead of knowing if im being manipulated im realizing that im the one doing the manipulation
I will now use this knowledge in whatever way I see fit.
Even though i have left my friend a while ago i didn't realize he wasn't being the best person. This helped me realize what he was doing was (most likely) manipulation. Thanks
Im in a relationship right now and i didn't know i was being gaslighted and love bombed.
A really close friend of mine was being manipulative towards me, at first I didn’t realised that but after spending more alone with them I started seeing how toxic they were towards me. They always said things that were supposed to make me sad an feel wrong.
Stop calling me out
Thank your for providing these informational videos, it really helps us out ☺️
When you constantly have to make excuses for the person and argue with your inner monologue saying, “no, you’re just being sensitive!”..you are being manipulated! Healthy relationships don’t make you feel drained. Spend time with people who love you and want to see you do good and you’ll see what I’m talking about!
-Mr.SmartCity
The one bright side about having been in any form of manipulative relationship is that once you leave it you can see all the manipulative behavior at first you get angry at yourself for not realizing it earlier but then all the horrible feelings and doubts you were feeling make sense as not really you but the other person.
RUclips suggest this for me- and I wish i seen it sooner. Thank you! The art is super rad too
Just walk away, safest option....ppl like this literally can't change but most just plain don't want to
I feel so trapped in a relationship that checks all these boxes. I often feel like it's my fault for being so passive and enabling his manipulation with my own behavior. I make it SO easy for him to treat me like trash. I feel incapable of defending myself; I just dissociate and curl into a ball, letting the verbal abuse sink in until I eventually start apologizing. I'll beg him to stop yelling at me and it just eggs him on. I've told him "I'm afraid of you" and it had zero effect. He told me that when he's in pain, it makes him feel better to hurt me and he knows he's good at it. He has no limits when he's in a rage; he'll go as low as possible, bringing up my r*pe, my family, exes, etc.
But then, when the rage subsides, he's protective, loving, affectionate, kind. All these things but rarely is he SORRY. It would be too devastating to his sense of self, I think, to recognize the extent of his abuse. It would kill him to admit that he's a manipulator. It hurts me to contemplate how hard that realization would be for him. Sometimes I think I care more about protecting him than I care about protecting myself.
This dynamic is exhausting and confusing, and the worst part is that the on-and-off emotional abuse has steadily eroded my sense of reality and strength of self. His rage goes away but the hurt that's inflicted on me stays. My heart is bruised and my mind is hazy. I'm scared of the day that I finally start to believe all the cruel things he says to me when he's angry..... I'm stupid, I'm selfish, I'm a slut, I'm fucked up, I'm nobody....things I don't think even he believes. I wish I didn't love him so that it would be easy to leave but I also feel afraid of repeating this dynamic with my next partner due to my passivity. I think my open heart is a beautiful thing but it makes it SO damn easy for him to hurt me.
Sorry for the rant. I just feel so alone in this dynamic, too embarrassed to talk to friends about it. I wouldn't wish this situation on anyone and if you can, please put yourself first. XO.
I just realized I'm getting manipulated by my crush ._. well I'm not letting that happen again
I appreciate hearing about triangulation. Videos like this help me feel more valid in my choice to cut them off after they used me for months.
Needed this. Now I feel a little bit over 90% sure that it's true. Thank you. :)
I’m in a complex relationship with my best friend
I always say that I’m in the wrong no matter how much they tell me I’m not
I make self-destructive jokes around them and force them to brush it off by complimenting them, so that they feel better about themselves and realise how commended they are (and it works!)
I gaslight them to understand themselves better (making them look at themself and the people around them positively benefits them) and appreciate how perfect they are
I constantly compare them to me by bringing up my worst points contrasted to their best points to bring up their self-esteem + confidence
I lovebomb them but I actually love them. I couldn't have a better best friend, one who actually accepts me for who I am (or at least I think they do)
And they've finally got the message. They've become more confident, outgoing, smarter, and overall better. I helped them overcome a ruined relationship of 5 years in just 6 months. They've given me nothing but just the sight of their pretty smile gives me giggles. That's all the reason I need to keep living, honestly
Sometime we can just misunderstand someone having these Signs but having these signs doesn't mean they r being toxic...they might have some other problems..don't be quick to judge
Them having problems doesn't give them the right to destroy other people.
@@jiyefuuu it's not about having rights...they couldn't control their emotions..and probably they had lost their control on their emotions and words
My parents did all of these things to me Thought I may have trust issues now I'm glad that I am more aware of the people around me.
Thank you im gonna stop being friends with some people♥ you have helped my life more then once i will always be greatfull tysm
Thanks, my girlfriend finally got over her ex's manipulation, reverse psychology, and guilt trip. Where he was trying to win her back by making her feel bad about it. That ex of hers used to abuse her in her past. I dont want her going back to that type of person.
Believe me we are all having those issues piece by piece nobody can be perfect good at all it depends how can you control it… don’t let your bad thoughts become possessive of you don’t do as emotional leans… you can use that issue sometimes just to survive and protect yourself from the nasty ppl on this planet
Good luck guys
I think I used to be a manipulator when I was going to a really hard time with depression. I blamed my boyfriend for everything that was wrong, how I ended up homeless, pregnant, and abandoned by my family. Thankfully I don’t feel that way toward him, but I remember being pretty awful to him, making him feel guilty about everything
Meaning family, friends and lovers
Yeah, every man in a relationship can relate. No need to ask if they do.
being autistic, a nice person, and having serious difficulty understanding body language and most non-verbal communication, I have been at least a bit gullible in one way or another for most of my life. In school the kids gleefully took advantage of that, and my nice guy disposition to torment me. I was genuine. I assumed everyone else was too.
Well, now I have PTSD. Thanks a lot you little creeps. Forgiveness is hard, but I'm working on it. God, help me.
I can relate to that so much.
Put simply, most manipulators make people feel inadequate just to satiate their jealously.
Is there anything on about being a middle child and on how the older and younger kids get more respect and more focus from the parents?
I’m a middle child
i had a relationship like this before and it traumatized me to the point that i don't even know how to trust people
The love punish thing aswell as many other manipulative behaviours are also common among partners with borderline disorder where it often is not a conscious thing but looks a lot like it. Its a result of splitting/black & white thinking, severe fear of abandonment, intense mood swings and such. The mood swings can result in a behaviour which the person with borderline really didnt want to have leading to severe feelings of guilt, overcompensating affection, pleading and so on. The mood swings and splitting can be caused of the smallest worry, interpreted sign of the partner thinking of leaving which causes desperate behaviours. Its very common that an abusive partner has a personality disorder like borderline.
Its not less wrong to be manipulative regardless of having the personality disorder or not.
... Im not sure how to take this at this point, These things are exactly what my mother does. She will often make it MY FAULT if say... she had a bad day at work too. I love her and dont want her to leave me, but i dont want her to mess with me either
This is a really good Video i recommend to those who are unintentionally manipulative or manipulatedly manipulative or any one whos manipulative in any ways to watch this. This point out every behavior , this is a really good educational channel 👍💙
one of my friends mentioned that my best friend was manipulative and that’s why he wasn’t her friend anymore.. i realized that she really is manipulative today… it hurts that’s she’s using me and being manipulative because i have a hard time saying no and such.
Don’t forget they lie and deny any fault
i related hard to the part where you said they try to make you trust them, i met a manipulative person and i couldn't put my finger on why i didn't feel safe opening up to them and i even told them i was sorry i couldn't open up more but i just don't feel comfortable and after a while of trying to break down your walls and it doesn't work, their masks slips VERY fast. it's like they get aggravated when they can't trick someone into trusting them.
sign number 7. you are dating online and there is a good chance they only care about you're money and have no interest in you. this has been my experience so far, and it's one person after another. it's hard to find someone actually looking for love I feel.
I've been compared to others at one of my previous jobs by my kitchen supervisor, hearing him say something like " if they can do it that fast, you can too!"
By what I hear in this video I’ve always been manipulated by my parents. The question I hate that was/is asked is “Are you sure?”when making a decision.
Spot on ! Great job guys !
I related to almost all of them, I didn’t even realise until now, I’ve been manipulated so many times.
If we unable to take care of anyone mood then is not qualified to be a good friend or any relationship.
I think, i feel enough. I feel enough with my life. I don't want to know nor draw it again. It's already colorful. I don't want to ruin the color. I wanna leave it like that. I wanna leave it while it's still beautiful. While i got the ranks, good grades, good attitude, get people's attention in a good way, and nothing's bad. Cause i'm afraid that the next thing i do will only ruin the color.
Thanks for this, I'm glad I got away from that person.
i feel like i relate to every single sign mentioned in this video and its a very scary feeling.
My dad does nearly all of these. "I love and support you!" (yet destroys my self confidence and doesn't accept that I'm trans) "I moved out when I was 17/19 why couldn't you" Always blames everything on my room being messy. Threatens to destroy my stuff or kick me out. Attempted to gaslit me into believing I wasn't mentally sane enough to make medical decisions. I could go on.
My step mom does this...
And I can't move out for 5 years! Horray!!
I told her about my relationship? Now she uses it against me to ensure I do everything that she wants me to. Always has periods of time where I feel like she's actually changed and that it really is my fault that she is mean to me. She's been around since I was 7.
I hope anyone reading this can escape and deal with whatever troubles come their way :)
Remember to eat, drink water, and get sleep!
then i'm manipulated. thank you for letting me know, i will stop hanging out with that one friend.
My last bf did most, if not all, of these things. I wanted to be happy and for him to be happy, though he never was, and he convinced me that I couldn't be either. Finally I learned whatever it is the universe needed me to learn, or at least I qualified for a different sort of lesson. I was able to disconnect from him in favor of a man that I surely invented from dreams I've had all my life.
Always subtle control and you don't see it at first.
Last week my mum bought me flowers and icecream and was really nice to me for that week and then the day after she got me gifts we got into an argument over me wanting to clean my room and it escalated so badly I had to call the police just for he to let me out the house. And how today I’m going back home and I really don’t want to but I’m scared of the outcome if i don’t go back..
Bro i never realized that I was being manipulated by my best friend, thanks for this video i appreciate it!!!!
All of them, infact now I am questioning my whole relationship with my loved ones
I must admit that I do a couple of these things unconsciously, meaning I don't do it on purpose and that relationships are very hard and complicated in general. I do feel like only a couple of these apply to me so I guess I failed the manipulator test? Tell me if I'm wrong.. maybe part of the problem is that I've been in so many relationships that I think I don't know anymore and I've been manipulated into being a manipulator... Of course I feel like there are many other factors that come into play but I'm just not sure..
nobody will turn you into something you dont want to be
Sometimes people develop toxic habits with dealing with others. A red flag in friend group I cut off was most would of them would treat me fine one on one but in groups they would ignore me if they didn't like what I said or triangulate belittling me. So it may be unconscious but check and see if you only take your negative feelings out with a person when someone else in the room is already being negative towards them. Not liking their vibes is also not considered constructive criticism in most healthy circles especially if that person is confronting you about you exhibiting any of the behaviours listed in the video.
I'm starting to question myself if I'm the manipulator. Maybe the person has rubbed off on me. But my mental health just went down the drain so to cope now i look for excuses, I always get told I'm playing the victim and now I don't even know what's right or wrong anymore
These can all be accidental, too. That doesn't mean they're ok, but it does mean the manipulatoor has a better chance of actually owning up to their behaviors and really trying to change. The people can also do it to each other, and that can *also* be accidental.