Finding Jesus Broke Me

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  • Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024

Комментарии • 61

  • @cosmicspacething3474
    @cosmicspacething3474 Год назад +48

    So uhhhh… What’ll it take to review the sequel? $10? $100? Gunpoint? I would also ask if it would cost your sanity, but we both know neither of us has any now.

    • @DanielGoldhorn
      @DanielGoldhorn  Год назад +25

      1 Million Subscriber Special

    • @gemmadillon6143
      @gemmadillon6143 Год назад +3

      @@DanielGoldhorn yeahyou dont have any idea that he is doing it beccause it is i think worst than this

    • @books_and_baubles8329
      @books_and_baubles8329 10 месяцев назад +3

      Subscribed

    • @DaveLH
      @DaveLH 4 месяца назад

      @@gemmadillon6143 : I took a little peak at it and it looks like there's even more of Mr. Sushi than there was in the first one. 'Nuff said.

  • @wyldetimesreviews
    @wyldetimesreviews Год назад +21

    It's a ŵ̴͉͍͇̤͇̼̤̆̌̈́͐͋͌̓͊͝͝͝͝ö̶͙͖͍̞̻̗́̓͆͐̃̆̕͠n̶̘͙͓͔̦͍̏͛̊̇̍̍̓͗̈͑͝͠d̴̢̳̗̀̈́̎̂͐͆͒̈́̀́̀́̓͌e̸̛̻̯̲̮͙̰͉̦̯̞̞̘͎̙̟̊̿̃͗̈́̐͂̿͛̀̔̚͠r̸̬̠̐̋̀͐̑͛f̶̧̠̱́͐̒ü̷̢̢̲͎͚̼̟̪̹̑̄̈̈́̔͋̒̍̀͆͝͝l̵̤͖̮̲̞̻̬̱̟̅͆̋̒͜ day in the ocean.

  • @muserweaver
    @muserweaver Год назад +58

    Are we gonna ignore the fact Mr. Sushi is a pile of fish fetuses?

    • @SpoopySquid
      @SpoopySquid 5 месяцев назад +1

      Necromancy is canon

  • @PillarofGarbage
    @PillarofGarbage Год назад +19

    God is dead, and this movie killed him

  • @detrik01
    @detrik01 Год назад +40

    As a Christian, I don't know why there are so man terrible faith based movies. Is it truly so hard to make a good fiction story that's inspired by religious lore? Ffs Narnia was good at that (at least until Voyage of the Dawn Treader, which was way too on the nose. And the final story shit the bed. But the first two books were good! Why can't we have more of that?)

    • @theinimitablejora522
      @theinimitablejora522 Год назад +1

      It's hard for them to care. People who make faith-based movies don't actually want to make a movie. They just want to make something faith-based for kids to consume, say "uhhhh kids like movies. Okay then movie time" and just go for it. They don't make movies, they don't write movies, they don't know this stuff. It's not in their wheelhouse at all, but that was never the point.
      Obviously you can get the rare VeggieTales and Prince of Egypt from passionate creators who care... but I already said the word "rare." That about sums it up.

    • @igormendonca4026
      @igormendonca4026 Год назад

      they are exploiting the christian brand loyalty, they know that as long as they have the religious message families will buy it regardless of quality

    • @lephinor2458
      @lephinor2458 8 месяцев назад +1

      We have prince of Egypt, Dante's inferno, paradise lost. Modern religious movies I find are usually bad but if good will become a classic.

    • @torleiftorgo9979
      @torleiftorgo9979 3 месяца назад

      It's because evangelical pietism is an insipid worldview. Its sole concern is individual piety, and its primary mechanism is didacticism. Reducing morality to piety is probably the only way to make morality (of all things) unsuitable as an artistic subject, and didacticism is basically artistic heresy. Pietism is the unsalted grits of the religious smorgasbord. It's not impossible to make good Christian art (far from it), but it's nearly impossible to make good evangelical Christian art, because-to put it bluntly-all evangelical Christianity can do is tell people to love Jesus and trust him to work things out for them, and... where's the story in that?

  • @YINSED5192
    @YINSED5192 Год назад +34

    You did the unthinkable and found me a shark that I actively despise. Well done.

  • @TSDTalks22
    @TSDTalks22 Год назад +39

    Best psychological horror I’ve seen all year

  • @typhoonthunder
    @typhoonthunder Год назад +28

    At least Joshua and the Promised Land had the courtesy to be funny

    • @EvripidouM
      @EvripidouM 8 месяцев назад +1

      Have you seen the reanimated version?

  • @apersonontheinternet9085
    @apersonontheinternet9085 10 месяцев назад +14

    10:42 As someone who was raised in a Christian culture/household, yeah, they were totally gay. Historians agree!

    • @lephinor2458
      @lephinor2458 8 месяцев назад

      We live in an age were men with healthy plutonic relationships are seen as gay. They were best friends that stood together for what they believed in.the Bible doesn't say that they are gay but love each other platonically.

    • @jackalenterprisesofohio
      @jackalenterprisesofohio 6 месяцев назад

      @@lephinor2458 I did watch a video about ancient language and that there were many words for types of love.
      Kinda like how certain words in English have multiple translations in say Spainish or Europeese, or how there are certain words in non-English languages with no direct translation into English.

  • @tofu6363
    @tofu6363 10 месяцев назад +8

    Aside from the obvious horror show, the fact that he's genuinely upset about and is trying to critique this amalgamation of film constantly destroyed me

  • @felixchaplin
    @felixchaplin Год назад +11

    This movie is so terrible that I couldn't even watch this review in one sitting. You deserve a Purple Heart for this one

  • @TheRealPsychicLeoBrown
    @TheRealPsychicLeoBrown Год назад +16

    Oh, you poor Mr. Goat. They broke you. Here baby, here's a hug , some cake and a pan statue. Chile...this was a hot ass mess! Whoo, thank you lord and lady for sense and knowing how to read.

  • @abemcg3803
    @abemcg3803 Год назад +10

    The fact that the writer’s name is actually Jason Wright…bruh 😭💀
    ….
    Also, they made a sequel

  • @SpoopySquid
    @SpoopySquid 5 месяцев назад +4

    4:56 The Bible actually agrees. Epistle of James 2: 14-17 straight up says that "thoughts and prayers" are useless if not followed by meaningful action

  • @Ubermensch9240
    @Ubermensch9240 10 месяцев назад +4

    Oh dear. Just the intro and the thumbnail alone is telling me that this is gonna get crazy.

  • @adrianoctavio
    @adrianoctavio 10 месяцев назад +4

    I went to your channel after seeing the disney review video because whenever I see a disney review I like to perform an exercise where I check the thumbnails of recent videos to check if they'd be the type of person to just use the opportunity to whine about how they're too woke or whatever, but couldn't refrain from clicking on this. Jesus christ am I right. I'm only 6 minutes in and I already want to flip a chair over after the scene where they tell the crab that it's fine to be homeless because jesus and it wasn't met with, pardon my words here, a fish slap. Will update when finished, but what a riot already.

  • @AlexDincht
    @AlexDincht 9 месяцев назад +4

    I unironically thought they would keep sprouting Bible quotes while Marlow asphixiated in front of them because Jesus has a plan or something.
    I also thought that when Mr. Sushi said something about good fish not going there, he meant that bad fish end up chopped up and turned into sushi.
    The last segment, with the food chain reference, definitely convinced me that Professor Shark eats the fish he can't conve- OOOOR, he brainwashes them until they let themselves be eaten willingly. That's why he's ALWAYS positioned at the town entrance (gatekeeping heaven), why he teaches them to accept death with Marlow, why he sends them to witness hell (Sushi) to contrast it with heaven (access to Bubbletown, through his mouth)!
    IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

  • @theinimitablejora522
    @theinimitablejora522 Год назад +5

    Oh no.
    It's out.
    Daniel, now that your deed is done, I can only hope you find peace.

  • @OhNoBohNo
    @OhNoBohNo 2 месяца назад +2

    I feel like Jesus was actually lost here somewhere along the way...

  • @MandoMonge
    @MandoMonge Год назад +7

    Does this mean the goat and fox podcast will be cancelled this week while you go through shock therapy? XD

  • @berengerdietiker22
    @berengerdietiker22 Год назад +5

    "Films" like Finding Jesus only make sense to the people who made them.

  • @Crockist
    @Crockist 3 месяца назад

    I work at a library and I see this DVD in the returns sometimes. I've been so morbidly curious, and now my curiosity has been sated. Thank you, you are the bravest youtuber I ever knew.

  • @elizabethhelizacoptersilko7767
    @elizabethhelizacoptersilko7767 4 месяца назад +1

    This video made me laugh
    “Did anyone proofread this script? Did-“ **keyboard typing sounds** “Jason Wright…” -got a laugh out of me.

  • @books_and_baubles8329
    @books_and_baubles8329 10 месяцев назад +2

    I just noticed there is a three month gap between the release of this video and his next video....

  • @standardhuman8675
    @standardhuman8675 9 месяцев назад +1

    ok so the thing that gave me a heart attack is that on certain inflections, muggles voice sounds a lot like orel from moral orel. i checked imdb, its not him, but i was fucking terrified for a moment there

  • @Iberian_XAVO
    @Iberian_XAVO 5 месяцев назад +1

    I loved the ending gag

  • @Billybob-en1mk
    @Billybob-en1mk Год назад +3

    Good ending there

  • @EvripidouM
    @EvripidouM 8 месяцев назад +2

    The first story has a horrible moral. Dont do anything to improve your life, just pray

  • @foxtrotnine
    @foxtrotnine Год назад +1

    As a wise man once said, I'm gonna need more bolter for this heresy.

  • @davidhileman8567
    @davidhileman8567 Месяц назад

    I certainly wish Muggles and Joy were tunas. I'm definitely hungering for marinated tuna stars on coconut rice!

  • @igormendonca4026
    @igormendonca4026 Год назад +3

    have you checked Dingo pictures?

  • @Cirina.
    @Cirina. 5 месяцев назад +1

    I watched this because I lost a bet to some friends, and I laughed so hard at this movie. Not because it's funny, just because of how terrible it was. (I also laughed at Pickles, don't worry)

  • @Vulpes_Ailurus
    @Vulpes_Ailurus 2 месяца назад

    It’s another beautiful day on the reef!
    Blblblblblp!
    It’s another beautiful day on the reef!
    Blblblblblp!
    It’s another beautiful day on the reef!
    Blblblblblp!

  • @aixfukumoto
    @aixfukumoto 9 месяцев назад +1

    Dear God...

    • @SpoopySquid
      @SpoopySquid 5 месяцев назад +1

      God was nowhere near when this was made

  • @forregom
    @forregom 3 месяца назад

    12:32 why does he sound like xavier here?

  • @gabriellavedier9650
    @gabriellavedier9650 5 месяцев назад

    The masterpiece of asset flips that make Digital Homicide look like a AAA game studio has now been reviewed by a very good goat. This thing is not just a nightmare, but shows what happens with a cynical churn sweatshop panders to homeschool parents with zero sincerity. It should offend Christians that this is what a money hungry movie factory thinks of them. And is also in line with something Seth Andrews once said (given the title) "Why invent mediocrity when you can copy genius?"

  • @jackalenterprisesofohio
    @jackalenterprisesofohio 6 месяцев назад

    5:30
    Return?
    RETURN?
    What the frick does that mean!?
    As a Christian (yes quite a shocker) I know that is most deffinetly not how it works.
    I hope anyway. It should be something like Jesus Gives his love for us (by dying on the cross and rising again three days later, and is quite funny I'm writing this on Easter) and we then thank God and Jesus for that by trying to be the bestest best we can be or something. I don't even think I fall into the denomination of _"Non-denominational,"_ so what do I know.

  • @ZeChickenKIng
    @ZeChickenKIng 5 месяцев назад

    Have you ever heard of finding Jesus 2?

  • @licethelouse5618
    @licethelouse5618 Год назад

    good gracious me

  • @entertainmentpowerfuchs5744
    @entertainmentpowerfuchs5744 4 месяца назад

    Dingo Pictures movies are better than this.

  • @DysLEXicguy
    @DysLEXicguy Год назад +1

    Love the video

  • @wallaroo6510
    @wallaroo6510 Год назад

    Better leave the bad movies to the professionals...