Especially if you mainly watch figure skating or gymnastics or something. It's easy to see that some of those people are better than others at that stuff, and all of them are better than anyone you'll ever meet at it. But I could say the same thing about the backup dancers in an elaborate pop concert production, and no one ranks them and gives them shiny prizes while you're waiting for the encore.
a “marrow bone spring” in arlington, texas, a “marrow bone water plant road” in burkesville, kentucky several marrow bone named water bodies in south carolina and one in arkansas but no bone marrow drive…yet
I once got in an argument with someone who bullied me and I called him ignorant and his response was "How can I be ignorant if I dont even know what that means?"
First date, he spills some water on his jeans and goes "Oh well, at least they're blue." I just look at him confused "And?" Could practically see the synapses firing "I... was gonna say that water is blue so it won't stain..." I'm never forgetting that, bless his heart.
I mean, water is kinda blue... but you need a lot of it for it to appear that way. Most glass is a bit green, but you need a lot of it to actually see any color.
Technically water _is_ blue, it's just so faint that it only becomes apparent in large amounts (e.g. a bathtub, or a lake, or an ocean). It's still true that it won't stain, but for reasons unrelated to its colour 😂
Why are some replies saying water is slightly blue?? Is my whole life a lie?? Water is clear!! Unless it has enough minerals or contaminents, pure water is perfectly clear!! It's only blue in large bodies of water because it reflects the sky, and the _sky_ is blue. Correct me if I am wrong?!!
I was watching and had just got to the part about the firefighter that didn’t know alcohol was flammable and thought to myself, “huh, i wonder if I don’t know any things like that” and legitimately tried thinking of examples of things I didn’t know.
Did you know that kangaroos can be gestating more than one fetal joey at a time just in case they need to ditch the current one to escape a predator? :)
There was a thing going around at that time stemming from a kid thinking it was "Bronco Bama"... If you do a search you'll see the cowboy memes and the 2012 re-election "poster," still makes me laugh (I was... er... not a kid when he was prez)
I was baptized by an Italian priest called "Father Antonio." When I was little, I heard this as "Father and Tonio." I'd hear my parents call him "Father" and think, "Ok, but where's Tonio?"
I’m not dating them but a friend in middle school refused to believe Greek mythology was made up thousands of years ago, and instead believed I made it up
I had a similar instance of being accused of making up things when I told a classmate who said "I hate math class, it's almost as useless as history." the classic "have you ever heard the saying 'those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it'?" After he told me that wasn't a real saying, I decided to give the saying some extra credit by claiming it was invented by Benjamin Franklin... "Who that?" And when I saud he was obe if America's founding fathers, he got mad at me for using such a pointlessly fancy phrase for President, and then refused to believe me when I explained the difference between a founding father and a President, and then he called me racist for trying to deny that Obama was now a founding father...
my boyfriend didn’t realise until he was a teenager that the tree types in Minecraft actually exist in real life. He thought mangrove and literal birch were just made up. He just never really put the pieces together…
My (far too recent) ex girlfriend told me that she once told her friends that “it’s crazy how you can hear the sun buzzing on hot summer days” …she thought the sun was responsible for the sounds cicadas make.
i'm much older than my sister and i decided to take my then girlfriend to her fifth birthday party. my girlfriend, upon seeing how similar we looked, asked, "are you two related?" when i told her again that yes, this is my sister, she got confused because we didn't have the same mother. i told her we had the same father and she replied with, "but you can't be siblings if you don't have the same mom." my aunt looked at her and asked how she passed biology class. turns out she didn't we ended up breaking up [thankfully] and she still tells everyone that i was lying about having a sister. i've just given up on her
i was thinking "oh maybe she meant you cant be fully siblings because different mothers so like half siblings" until i saw the lying about having a sister part
My fiance didn’t realize that…even if you take out the batteries YOU CANNOT PUT BATTERY OPERATED UTENSILS IN THE DISHWASHER!! He’s 26…and he ruined my expensive milk frothing tool
I was raised Catholic, and for those who don't know, we aren't supposed to eat any meat except fish on Fridays during Lent. I was maybe 10 years old when I learned fish counts as meat to everyone else, and to this day (36) I still routinely forget that. Once offered my vegan friend a taste of my meal, which I assured her was vegan. I started listing the ingredients and she burst out laughing at me when I got to "fish sauce."
9:36 Of course it wouldn’t work, tattoos are genetic, so there’s a chance the baby gets the fathers tattoos instead, also, some tattoos are recessive, and can get passed between generations, so it has a chance of getting it’s grandparents tattoos as well.
The bit at 5:30 where the husband asks “are you hungry?” when his wife asks to go to a jewelry store is just golden (pun intended). Also, my own partner didn’t realize that pancakes are called that because they’re cakes made in a pan. I also had to show him how to open the email app on his phone multiple times. I’ve never loved anyone more.
When I was a kid my foster parent was talking about how she wanted to be cremated. My dumb ass really said "that sounds like a painful way to go" To which she replied "not alive!" At which point I realized just how stupid the thing I said was and felt embarrassed for the rest of the ride.
When I found out about cremation at the age of about 6 I was really upset because my little brain couldn't process that corpses couldn't feel themselves burning to ash. Like, I think intellectually I knew that (I'd been exposed to enough death already) but on an emotional level it horrified me and still kinda does.
@@schlichtnsbuh The distance between earth and moon is ~385,000 km _now_ - but, how close to the earth could the sun get before the moon escapes the earth's gravity, and starts orbiting the sun without us?
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, actually, according to scientists, the distance from earth and the moon is enough to fit every planet from the solar system in between, so i doubt that will ever happen.
Just last week mine was messing with the hot glue gun, lifted it up, said "I wonder how much it will cool before it hits my hand," and before I could even say "no", it was done. Blister the size of a dime in the palm of his hand. Love him.
also! About eating pine cones: here, or at least, in Siberia, they actually make sugared pine cones by boiling green and soft(ish) cones in syrup c: It's pretty nice, if you're into herbal and/or coniferous flavours.
A friend’s neighbor nervously asked if the parade was going to have real clowns. Everyone stopped and turned to look at her. My friend asked her what she meant. She said, you know, are they going to be real clowns, or just people with makeup and costumes on to look like clowns. She’s afraid of real clowns.
I feel like IT and Kiler Klowns kinda created this subconscious thought in mainstream media that clowns are a type of monster like mummies or werewolves and not humans in face paint.
i predict that the minions guy is actually just severely hyperfixated on the minions for whatever reason. reason i suspect this is because i am similarly annoying to my own friends about my own favorite fictional characters im hyperfixated on. although i dont know how to feel about the fact that i saw myself so much in the minions guy, i send my condolences to both parties
My great-uncle was a Civil War reenactor. At his funeral, his Civil War reenactment uniform was displayed and my cousin's fiancé asked me 'What war was he in?' 😂 when i answered that my great-uncle was a reenactor, he seemed surprised to learn that he wasn't really in the Civil War, then he proceeded to explain to me that the 'time line in [his] head wasn't lining up because [my great-uncle] was 81 and the Civil War happened over 100 years ago.' HE THOUGHT MY GREAT-UNCLE WAS WAS ACTUALLY IN THE CIVIL WAR! 🤣
my fiance didnt realize that croutons were made out of dried bread his whole life until one day he was eating some straight out of a bag and one of them had crust on it. all i heard from the other room was "holy SHIT ITS BREAD?"
My ex-husband was driving me home from work one day when we saw a herd of animals on a hill. He said, “I’m from the country. Those are cows.” I look over at the herd and replied, “I don’t know what country you are from, but in the United States we call those animals…horses.”
not a date but my friend thought the phrase “we’ll cross that bridge when we get there” was “we’ll jump off that bridge when we get there” and now we clown her for it
I once, while roleplaying as my Dwarf Paladin in Dungeons n Dragons said 'Up is not a direction' i said it super ernestly as i forgot up WAS a direction. surprisingly there are directions that arent NESW. i got an inspiration for that. best part, his intelligence was only 8. He was barely able to read and write
I love my boyfriend. He's caring, gorgeous and makes me truly happy more often than I thought possible with my depression. My beautiful creature put water on to boil for tea, the kettle somehow caught fire, and instead of turning off the burner and getting the extinguisher, he used a cloth to swat at the fire -which was almost immediately engulfed in flames. The smoke alarm started screaming and our friend upstairs came running down and extinguished the fire and opened the door to let the cloth smoke out. He's the light of my life and we're planning to move in together soon ❤️
Similar to the firefighter not knowing about alcohol: I was getting a flu shot, and the nurse looked right at my biohazard tattoo and asked "What's that?" It wasn't stylized, or badly drawn. Even when I told her it was a biohazard symbol, there was not a trace of recognition on her face.
“How do you spell cannibalism without the ism? Cannable right?” - My ex, who’s apparently still not the brightest bulb in the box. Misspelling is one thing, but spelling cannibalism right but then not being able to just take off the last 3 letters is truly impressive.
How does Cannibal turn into Cannable It's just 3 letters taken away from the "ism" I really wanna know how that person muldered that out without a trace
I know this is kinda similar to this video but I love watching the positive side of things. I'd LOVE watching a "Moments you realized you were smarter than everyone else" video where people recall that moment of pure euphoria when they realize they're smart ❤ I'd probably recall the first day of my high school history class, when my teacher gave every student a historical event (without the dates) and asked us to try and order ourselves chronologically. I started guiding people to their spots and when the teacher reviewed us she said, "Your class got the most correct out of any other class!" And everyone looked at me with a smile.
My first tattoo was a heart with a peace sign inside, matching my mothers, so I joke that I inherited it from her and I’ve had people genuinely think I meant I was born with the tattoo she had 😭
When I was in the 2nd grade, my dad would occassionany but one of those Babybel cheeses in my lunchbox. I didn't realise the coating on them was actual wax at the time, just thought it was a kinda thing sort of like a Fruit Rollup. So I'd eat it with the cheese. Funnily enough, it took me half a decade and a random discussion with some old friends so realise that it was indeed wax. The kicker? I liked the wax more than the cheese itself. I don't know about you but I reckon this is a verified 💀 classic.
No-one TELLS us it's wax! They just hand them out in kindergarten and leave you to find your own way. One kid stuck his up his nose, which -- given the lack of instructions otherwise -- was a valid response. Also, it wasn't until my 20's that I realized there's extremely crappy chocolate inside those Hanukkah gelt coins they give you in kiddie gift baskets. I found out by having the coins melt in my car.
I once ate half of an order of stir fry out of a family friend's fridge before I realized the eggplant was actually octopus. I am a vegetarian. In fairness, it did taste *exactly* like under-seasoned eggplant.
One time while driving somewhere, my dad saw a vehicle with an interesting color. He then said in a pondering way, “what kind of car would that color look good on… a boat?”
I honestly get the woman asking when District 9 happened. The movie is framed as a documentary, the CGI holds up EXTREMELY well, and Sharlto Copley (the writer) is a master at writing extremely realistic dialogue. On one hand, yeah - it involves aliens coming to Earth, you'd kind of assume we'd know about that. On the other hand... damn that movie does a great job at immersion. EDIT: It's also a not-so-subtle allegory for Apartheid, so she might have meant that.
ICEEEEEEEE is literally my favorite Because it reminds me of one time when I was 14 years old (I'm almost 17) I was trying to say "Ice cold units" And I ended up just moulding out "ICEEEEEEEE units 777 BEEEEEEES"
My boyfriend and I were in the car about a week into our relationship and I mentioned how I really liked Elvis Presley, and his response was “I love Elvis Presley, hee hee” He thought Elvis was known for saying heehee, not Micheal Jackson Update: We broke up
We weren't partners but a girl at my school not only thought, but firmly believed that Caucasian was a language. I had to argue with her about it for 3 consecutive days before she googled it.
Northeast Caucasian, or Northwest Caucasian languages exist, so she's partly right, but instead of one language it's a whole family descending from the original "Caucasian language".
I had an argument with a friend in school for days because she was convinced mandarins were purple. I still have the emails of our argument to this day and I'm tempted to show them to her now that we're both adults
this reminds me of the girl at my (all girls) highschool that thought feminism meant hating men. several times we explained that no, hating men is called misandry, and it should not be supported. feminism means thinking that men and women should have equal rights. even after this she said something along the lines of "i just cant support feminism because i think men and women should be treated the same" yeah. same girl. that's what feminism IS
My mom’s (ex) husband used to work in the military. He once was on a ship in the southern hemisphere. My mom asked him if the water drained down a sink the other direction and he said “No I don’t think so, it’s an American ship” Edit: F*ck
We never dated, but one day at the gas station my sister asked if I was using the correct fuel because she thought the octane numbers were the year your vehicle had to be.
This is 20 years ago but.. My girlfriend met me in Chicago. I was on a business trip. We were standing on Navy Pier and she asked me “what ocean is this?”. 🤦♂️
my ex-boyfriend once tried to get rid of an mosquito bite by heating up a spoon with his lighter and pressing the hot metal against his skin. It did get rid of the mosquito bite (heat breaks down the toxin), but also gave him second degree burns.
Not a partner, but this kid at my high school had hundreds of ridiculous "Did you know?"s, dozens of which I wrote down. The first one that always comes to mind is "Did you know that Mars has no Sun?"
That sounds like a joke one of my college friends would make, except he would know it is a joke. He would often say sudden preposterous statements or questions. One of the best was his excuse for declining to play a game of pool because "I don't have hands" as he holds up his clearly visible hands.
My one friend’s ex had never made tea before, all he knew was to put the bag in the cup of hot water, so he did. Without removing the packaging first. This man was in his senior year of high school.
The first time I ever tried to make tea, I got the hot water and put the leaves directly into the water, no little holder to keep them from getting in or anything.
@@theresahaironthescreenI mean, that's an acceptable way of making tea if you know what you're doing. If you put leaves in a teapot and pour the water at a certain angle (or use full leaves) you won't need a filter. And tea with crushed tea leaves that stay I your tea cup isn't uncommon. The remaining dust is often used as a form of divination.
8:27 my teacher actually pulled up a meme on the projector that said earth moon sun: solar eclipse sun earth moon: lunar eclipse earth sun moon: apocalypse
A girl I saw briefly, who was a part-time rapper who only did college radio freestyles, told me that Lil' Wayne was plagiarising her lines. This is why it was brief.
Literally my favourite bit of my Monday is sitting down with my mum and eating dinner whilst watching Matt Rose. Thank you for appealing to both my mum and me
8:36 reminds me of the time that my french teacher killed a spider and then said "dont hurt animals, except for spiders, but theyre insects, not animals."
My fiancé once called me a dingleberry in a text conversation. I responded with ‘um… do you know what that is?’ There was a long pause, and then about five text messages of apologies. He either had to google it or ask one of his colleagues. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard at the poor, adorable idiot.
The 'foolish or inept person' definition of that word is far more widely known and used than the 'other' definition that I just learned today as a result of your comment.
I always remember the day my friend turned to me and asked me a very serious question about the lion king remake… “how did they get the lions to do that?! They must be very well trained.”
Problem is it doesn't work. It's the insane competitive drive that pushes people to do the exceptional things. Otherwise it'd just be me in spandex doing 2 wonky push-ups for the gold.
@@infantiltinferno said as if it was something bad, not to push your body to the point of breaking and long lasting consequences of that for what, a glorified pat on the back? Fifteen minutes in the limelight, *gold*? Pfffft, as if it can compare in value to your only health and life quality.
1:04 so glad that i can tell this story... one time my grandparents were watching a documentary about beluga whales and my obi goes "that's where caviar comes from!" and my oji is just "mammal. whales are mammals" and now everytime someone says something really dumb we say mammal
when i was young i thought "throwing caution to the wind" was "throwing kosh into the wind"....like "kosh" was a thing people threw for some reason...only figured it out when i asked my dad "hey what the hell is kosh anyways?" i still get shit for it to this day in my 40s.
Well, a kosh is a basically a short, semi-flexible club made from leather and filled with lead shot, they're also known under the name blackjak or sap. You could easily throw one of those to the wind, but I can't imagine why anyone _would._
When you specify that you can't have meat, you find out who's not very intelligent in that area of thinking. I've had more than one incident of someone being like "but it has chicken on it and that's not meat, that's poultry" or "but seafood isn't meat" sometimes I wonder about people 😂 Edit: I want to make sure many know that in saying this I'm not putting anyone who thinks like this down as being totally unintelligent in all areas. There can be smart people with gaps in some areas of thinking.
To be fair "that's not meat, that's poultry" has all the hallmarks of a smart arse rather than someone without intelligence, and a lot of food retailers do classify poultry, seafood and fish as separate things to meat. Even game (rabbit, venison, partridge, pheasant etc) can be classified as a separate thing to meat. The flip side of that is that the word 'meat' use to just be synonymous with food, which is why the filling of a mince pie is still called 'mincemeat' even though no animal flesh is involved, so to someone time travelling here from past centuries "I don't eat meat" would effectively make you a 'breatharian'.
@@MrDannyDetail But you gotta lack some common sense to hear the phrase "I don't eat meat" and think that they certainly meant "Things labeled as meat in a grocery store" and not, ya know, meat. And yes, I can confirm from experience that people who make these kind of distinctions as a reaction to someone not eating meat are (at least sometimes) serious and genuinely require you to spell out that you mean everything that was once a part of an animal's body....
@@DustyTheOrange Eh. Have you ever met a pescetarian who said they don't eat meat? I know three and was close friends with two of 'em and they always said they only eat fish.
Ex was allergic to horses, he was very aware of this. We were visiting Shibdon Park and there were a couple of lovely shire horses in a nearby field. He immediately petted the pretty horses and less than two minutes later touched his eye. By the time we reached the nearest pharmacy he could barely see from his swollen face. Once turned up in shoes that did not match. His excuse 'they are both black boots. Elliott say the bird thing!' He thought an ongoing joke would distract me. Believed that having two implants one after the other hence stopping my periods for 6 years meant I had 6 years worth of blood to leak out when the second one was removed. Not a partner but another young man thought you could bite into a pineapple. Hadn't tried but asked why the pineapple in the tin my ex had yeeted at a third friend was in cunks.
I once asked 'where are the *soup vibrators* ?'
I meant a blender.... 💀💀
nyxcosmetics🦅eavz.
Bro just...fuckin' hell....😂 i was nearly crying reading that...
@@flyingairbusA380Qa
@@404Errored i looked the worker in the eyes as well and said with great confidence 😭😭😭
@@xdarkness_kitxWhat?!? What was his reaction? I *GOTTA* know
You know what, I know the Olympics are a competition, but "look what these people can do" is the fun part.
That was definitely one of the more forgivable ones.
Yeah, to be fair that’s my main takeaway every time I watch the games. “Dang! Those are some great athletes! Everyone cheer!”
Especially if you mainly watch figure skating or gymnastics or something. It's easy to see that some of those people are better than others at that stuff, and all of them are better than anyone you'll ever meet at it. But I could say the same thing about the backup dancers in an elaborate pop concert production, and no one ranks them and gives them shiny prizes while you're waiting for the encore.
Which is why they should let a regular person compete in each event, just so we can see how good these trained athletes actually are.
Feels lile they might have been confusing it with The Guinness World Records.
"Bone Marrow Drive" is absolutely something people would name a street
There's a street named West Blood Lane in a town near me.
@@chickadee1607 and the infamous A Dog Who Will Lick His Butt But Won't Eat A Pickle RD
Theres an entire town called liverpool
a “marrow bone spring” in arlington, texas,
a “marrow bone water plant road” in burkesville, kentucky
several marrow bone named water bodies in south carolina and one in arkansas
but no bone marrow drive…yet
I live near streets called called Pink Petticoat Lane and Superior Position Street. Bone Marrow Drive seems pretty reasonable.
I once got in an argument with someone who bullied me and I called him ignorant and his response was "How can I be ignorant if I dont even know what that means?"
Well, now that's just irony
FR that sounds right out of Trailer Park Boys 🤣
Let me tell you right now I would’ve been on the FLOOR and that’s probably no exaggeration
LMAOOOOO I hope you roasted him after that thatd be FINNY
Percy vibes fr😭
First date, he spills some water on his jeans and goes "Oh well, at least they're blue."
I just look at him confused "And?"
Could practically see the synapses firing "I... was gonna say that water is blue so it won't stain..."
I'm never forgetting that, bless his heart.
I mean, water is kinda blue... but you need a lot of it for it to appear that way. Most glass is a bit green, but you need a lot of it to actually see any color.
Cue Windows startup chime as the synapses in his brain finally get done warming up.
Technically water _is_ blue, it's just so faint that it only becomes apparent in large amounts (e.g. a bathtub, or a lake, or an ocean).
It's still true that it won't stain, but for reasons unrelated to its colour 😂
Why are some replies saying water is slightly blue??
Is my whole life a lie?? Water is clear!! Unless it has enough minerals or contaminents, pure water is perfectly clear!!
It's only blue in large bodies of water because it reflects the sky, and the _sky_ is blue.
Correct me if I am wrong?!!
@@NoriMori1992water is not actually blue, it just reflects the skys color
When I was younger I thought the phrase "From the get-go" was "from the gecko"
From the GEICO
@@wildraheim430215 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance
I thought the phrase "to make ends meet" as in "they were struggling to make ends meet" was "to make minced meat"
I admire your imagination and from now on I will always say, "From the Gecko." 😉 "This project was doomed from the gecko." I love it!
I thought that too!😂
I was watching and had just got to the part about the firefighter that didn’t know alcohol was flammable and thought to myself, “huh, i wonder if I don’t know any things like that” and legitimately tried thinking of examples of things I didn’t know.
@jamescheddar4896 rather shouldn't drink too much of it. Especially if it's near a popular beach💀
Did you know that kangaroos can be gestating more than one fetal joey at a time just in case they need to ditch the current one to escape a predator? :)
@@plushehchan8643well I didn't even know a baby kangaroo was called joey, so cool!
@@Xeem_Pad yeah it actually makes you less hydrated
@jamescheddar4896I mean, you can, it's just a bad idea.
4:26 That reminds me, I once thought his last name was just “Bama,” and his first name was “Baracko.” I was pretty young when he was president.
"An Obiden Bama Democrat" - Biden
There was a thing going around at that time stemming from a kid thinking it was "Bronco Bama"... If you do a search you'll see the cowboy memes and the 2012 re-election "poster," still makes me laugh
(I was... er... not a kid when he was prez)
A lot of kids I went to school with had this issue. Mostly because we had a popular local restaurant called Barracco's.
I was baptized by an Italian priest called "Father Antonio." When I was little, I heard this as "Father and Tonio." I'd hear my parents call him "Father" and think, "Ok, but where's Tonio?"
I had a prof in college that couldn't keep "Obama" and "Osama" straight.
I’m not dating them but a friend in middle school refused to believe Greek mythology was made up thousands of years ago, and instead believed I made it up
Wow, you must be very creative 😂
I had a similar instance of being accused of making up things when I told a classmate who said "I hate math class, it's almost as useless as history." the classic "have you ever heard the saying 'those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it'?"
After he told me that wasn't a real saying, I decided to give the saying some extra credit by claiming it was invented by Benjamin Franklin...
"Who that?"
And when I saud he was obe if America's founding fathers, he got mad at me for using such a pointlessly fancy phrase for President, and then refused to believe me when I explained the difference between a founding father and a President, and then he called me racist for trying to deny that Obama was now a founding father...
@@RipOffProductionsLLC there went my last braincell. now have intelligence of an orange cat - thanks
That's just the average religious persons take
"Bone Marrow Drive" I mean, that could happen to anyone. My friends were bear hunting and saw a sign that said "Bear Left", so they went home.
That's fantastic
I'm imagining you all simultaneously looking down, slumping your shoulders and going "Auh..." after reading the sign and then heading home sadly
“Bear Left”
“Right Frog!”
That's such a cartoony response. XD
The PFP checks out
my boyfriend didn’t realise until he was a teenager that the tree types in Minecraft actually exist in real life. He thought mangrove and literal birch were just made up. He just never really put the pieces together…
I learned the word biome from mine craft lol
Tbf it’s not like creepers are real either
How old are you guys? Mangrove was added only two years ago... 💀
@@Soup-Boot I knew the tree types were real lol. I’m 24 and mine craft came out when I was a kid haha
@@livwake Debatable.
There was a tropical storm predicted and my ex asked why we couldn't prevent tropical storms by, I quote, "blowing up the tropics."
Fascinating....
That is easily the most American thing I've ever heard💀.
a very American approach 😂
to be fair, we could prevent all storms by simply blowing up the Earth
Are you dating Henry Kissinger??
When I was little, I thought Colonel Sanders' name was "Ken Tucky".
In his lifetime, Ken Tucky fried a lot of chicken.
Huge shrimp fried rice vibes
Why is it not?
full name Kenneth Tucker
Ken Tucky fried Chicken
‘You talk about minions too much’
‘Oh despicable me’
haha i get it
she was just having, a bad bad day
@@MeboIsntRealshe left because it was about time that she got her way
I wonder if that was Blarg
@@InDaMarshadows Steam rolling whatever she saw, huh
My (far too recent) ex girlfriend told me that she once told her friends that “it’s crazy how you can hear the sun buzzing on hot summer days”
…she thought the sun was responsible for the sounds cicadas make.
did you correct her?
I heard that blind people expect the sun to make a sound, so that’s not too out of the ordinary.
@@russellelliott8097 ''Blind people expect the sun to make a sound''
Do you mean deaf people?
Thought the same thing when I was seven
@@russellelliott8097 As a blind person, no we don't.
He should do a video where he finds stuff where people say “Nobody will ever see this but-”
Ooooooh, nice idea 👀
I bet nobody will ever see this but 💀
I bet nobody will ever see this but I am cowboy 🐮🐮🐮🤠🤠🤠
Those all tend to be the exact same meme-y response though. Be an awfully short video.
@@Matt_Rose Nobody will ever see this, but I agree.
i'm much older than my sister and i decided to take my then girlfriend to her fifth birthday party. my girlfriend, upon seeing how similar we looked, asked, "are you two related?" when i told her again that yes, this is my sister, she got confused because we didn't have the same mother. i told her we had the same father and she replied with, "but you can't be siblings if you don't have the same mom." my aunt looked at her and asked how she passed biology class. turns out she didn't
we ended up breaking up [thankfully] and she still tells everyone that i was lying about having a sister. i've just given up on her
i was thinking "oh maybe she meant you cant be fully siblings because different mothers so like half siblings" until i saw the lying about having a sister part
Woah… that’s advanced stupidity
that’s definitely one you would want to give up on haha
Honestly, it's okay if she don't get it first time, but since she still insist you lying, it's bad sign.
@gaspshichat What a mean pointless thing to lie about!
My fiance didn’t realize that…even if you take out the batteries
YOU CANNOT PUT BATTERY OPERATED UTENSILS IN THE DISHWASHER!!
He’s 26…and he ruined my expensive milk frothing tool
"I put the bender in the dishwasher."
"like the blade?"
"no, the whole thing, thought it could use a clean."
...
"don't worry I unpluged it first."
Thats so annoying. And guys never seem to understand how delicious fluffy coffee is in the morning
@@amelioravictoriadionyssia3323 it's because we don't care about meaningless things like fluffy coffee ^__^ also we're very stupid
that's just plain unlucky 😢
@@amelioravictoriadionyssia3323 as a man that’s untrue
0:13 to be fair… she isn’t entirely wrong about that.
olympics are so boring it pretty much is
well recent olympics sure were more like a circus than competition
She isn’t wrong
Look what these people can do. Now which one is best at it?
also 2:59 could technically be correct (although we cant confirm it)
I was raised Catholic, and for those who don't know, we aren't supposed to eat any meat except fish on Fridays during Lent. I was maybe 10 years old when I learned fish counts as meat to everyone else, and to this day (36) I still routinely forget that. Once offered my vegan friend a taste of my meal, which I assured her was vegan. I started listing the ingredients and she burst out laughing at me when I got to "fish sauce."
Lol 😂 that's not that bad compared to some of the people in the video
@@siphonlx I know, but I feel dumb every time because I know better 😂 my running joke now when I get reminded is "fish is a vegetable"
@@chickadee1607 No it's not. It's meat.
Edit: DAMN!
@@MyDadStoleMyArm how did bro get wooooshed so badly 💀
@@MyDadStoleMyArm you should probably reread the comment a few times 💀
9:36 Of course it wouldn’t work, tattoos are genetic, so there’s a chance the baby gets the fathers tattoos instead, also, some tattoos are recessive, and can get passed between generations, so it has a chance of getting it’s grandparents tattoos as well.
Ha!
im stealing that for standup
The bit at 5:30 where the husband asks “are you hungry?” when his wife asks to go to a jewelry store is just golden (pun intended).
Also, my own partner didn’t realize that pancakes are called that because they’re cakes made in a pan.
I also had to show him how to open the email app on his phone multiple times.
I’ve never loved anyone more.
TIL
Wait they are???
I didn't know the pancake thing. I thought they were called that because they were flat like a pan
Coincidentally that just occurred to me a few days ago.
Ingesting metal will also kill you, fun fact....
"Black Obama" implies the existence of a White Obama, and I'm not ready to confront that alternate timeline today.
Isn't he mixed race white and black therefore both are always there?
There are two wolves inside of you…
lmao he is white
It's like those CAH cards, 'The Black half of Obama' and 'The White half of Obama'
Can't wait for the chess match
My partner thought that 9/11 was a beach in England so she didn’t believe me when I told her what it was
A... beach... in... England
I would love to know how those dots got connected
Where was she from??
@@sandrafaith Nyneleaven could be in Cornwall tbf.
Wat
What?
When I was a kid my foster parent was talking about how she wanted to be cremated.
My dumb ass really said "that sounds like a painful way to go"
To which she replied "not alive!"
At which point I realized just how stupid the thing I said was and felt embarrassed for the rest of the ride.
You were actually correct
When I found out about cremation at the age of about 6 I was really upset because my little brain couldn't process that corpses couldn't feel themselves burning to ash. Like, I think intellectually I knew that (I'd been exposed to enough death already) but on an emotional level it horrified me and still kinda does.
@@zurirobinson2749 Corpse can feel themselves. Don’t cremate
@@zurirobinson2749 corpses actually CAN feel themselves burning, but you can’t run away at that point or yell to get help. That’s super scary
@@lilywater3683no they can't?? their brains are dead how can they feel??
"That's called an apocalypse."
[proceeds to die laughing]
right as i read this it appeared
I have that reaction every time I hear Vanessa Williams sing "Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon." ("Save the Best for Last")
Im so glad im not the only one that died at that. Genius reply by that redditor, a rarity.
8:24 That's horrifying to imagine. If the sun is ever between earth and the moon, we won't have the time to name it before we're dead
That's obviously true if the sun comes 93 million miles closer, but might not necessarily be true if the moon goes 93 million miles further away...
I mean, the distance between earth and moon is ~385,000 km and the sun's diameter is ~1,400,000 km. So it doesn't fit there. Not even a little.
@@schlichtnsbuh The distance between earth and moon is ~385,000 km _now_ - but, how close to the earth could the sun get before the moon escapes the earth's gravity, and starts orbiting the sun without us?
We call it, the Apoceclypse
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL, actually, according to scientists, the distance from earth and the moon is enough to fit every planet from the solar system in between, so i doubt that will ever happen.
Just last week mine was messing with the hot glue gun, lifted it up, said "I wonder how much it will cool before it hits my hand," and before I could even say "no", it was done. Blister the size of a dime in the palm of his hand. Love him.
To be fair, some hot glue guns are much cooler than others.
I like the insinuation that there are many different coloured Obama's, like some sort presidential power rangers
Oh my god
It's the Obama prism
It was real all along
Green Obama
I wanna be the pink obama
the seven human obamas:
Presidential Sentai Obamaranger
"Why, are you hungry"
that is hularious.
agreed
utterly preposterous
Absolutely haharious!
I mean...not eating.
You can't tell me I'm wrong!!
😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮ßërww1äpåøøøæææí😜👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹👹
also! About eating pine cones: here, or at least, in Siberia, they actually make sugared pine cones by boiling green and soft(ish) cones in syrup c: It's pretty nice, if you're into herbal and/or coniferous flavours.
Is it anything like pine/spruce needle tea? I rather like that flavor. Spruce beer is pretty ok too.
I've never tasted anything coniferous so I have no point of reference 😆
Do you know what kind of pines you can do that with? I’d like to try it
What kind of trees can you do that with? I live in a similar area and wanna try that...
Several years ago, I was in an ice cream shop in Boulder CO that had "Vanilla Pinecone" on the menu. I didn't have the nerve to try it.
A friend’s neighbor nervously asked if the parade was going to have real clowns. Everyone stopped and turned to look at her. My friend asked her what she meant. She said, you know, are they going to be real clowns, or just people with makeup and costumes on to look like clowns. She’s afraid of real clowns.
I feel like IT and Kiler Klowns kinda created this subconscious thought in mainstream media that clowns are a type of monster like mummies or werewolves and not humans in face paint.
What in the goddamn hell does she think real clowns are 😂
@@NoriMori1992 killers from outer space, obviously.
Making me think of _Legend of Avantris_ xD
“That’s despicable” was foul 💀
one would say that it, too, was despicable.
I thought so too, but that joke kind of gru on me
@@honeycuppy omg 💀
i predict that the minions guy is actually just severely hyperfixated on the minions for whatever reason. reason i suspect this is because i am similarly annoying to my own friends about my own favorite fictional characters im hyperfixated on. although i dont know how to feel about the fact that i saw myself so much in the minions guy, i send my condolences to both parties
ikr? especially after the person was having a bad bad day 😭
Well now we need a video of matts wife talking about the stupid stuff he does off camera
probably just says skull emoji💀
Yes!
Putting in the bloopers for the "i see all" is great
real
"I seeeeeeee"
"I, fuck"
My great-uncle was a Civil War reenactor. At his funeral, his Civil War reenactment uniform was displayed and my cousin's fiancé asked me 'What war was he in?' 😂 when i answered that my great-uncle was a reenactor, he seemed surprised to learn that he wasn't really in the Civil War, then he proceeded to explain to me that the 'time line in [his] head wasn't lining up because [my great-uncle] was 81 and the Civil War happened over 100 years ago.' HE THOUGHT MY GREAT-UNCLE WAS WAS ACTUALLY IN THE CIVIL WAR! 🤣
More like 380 years ago! (Other civil wars are available).
my fiance didnt realize that croutons were made out of dried bread his whole life until one day he was eating some straight out of a bag and one of them had crust on it. all i heard from the other room was "holy SHIT ITS BREAD?"
Reminds me of a classmate that never knew grapes and raisins are the same until our biology book mentioned it. Blew his mind when he learned that
"holy SHIT IT'S BREAD?" is my new favorite quote
Well, tbf I used to think Crouton was baked potato or something similar.
@@AceJackWagon885 Probably copyrighted as The Next Killer Ad Tagline decades ago...
I'm glad you were there to witness such an epiphany.
My ex-husband was driving me home from work one day when we saw a herd of animals on a hill. He said, “I’m from the country. Those are cows.” I look over at the herd and replied, “I don’t know what country you are from, but in the United States we call those animals…horses.”
TBH some forever-in-city people in states probably do confuse the two.
not a date but my friend thought the phrase “we’ll cross that bridge when we get there” was “we’ll jump off that bridge when we get there” and now we clown her for it
That reminds me how I used to jokingly tell people "I'll burn that bridge when I get there".
@@kylemacintoshlinux1449That slaps.
imma start using that
@@kylemacintoshlinux1449Do you listen to Motionless In White, by chance?
@@MaxwellTornado Once in awhile, why do you ask?
I once, while roleplaying as my Dwarf Paladin in Dungeons n Dragons said 'Up is not a direction'
i said it super ernestly as i forgot up WAS a direction. surprisingly there are directions that arent NESW.
i got an inspiration for that.
best part, his intelligence was only 8. He was barely able to read and write
I genuinely feel bad for him, and he's not even real!
I'd give inspiration for that, too. That's one of the dwarfiest things I've ever heard 😂
I love my boyfriend. He's caring, gorgeous and makes me truly happy more often than I thought possible with my depression.
My beautiful creature put water on to boil for tea, the kettle somehow caught fire, and instead of turning off the burner and getting the extinguisher, he used a cloth to swat at the fire -which was almost immediately engulfed in flames. The smoke alarm started screaming and our friend upstairs came running down and extinguished the fire and opened the door to let the cloth smoke out.
He's the light of my life and we're planning to move in together soon ❤️
You gotta teach him fire safety
Well... He did certainly light up your life for a good second there.
"My beautiful creature" is my favorite way I have ever heard someone refer to their partner
Hahaha
Hope you guys don't die in a fire
Similar to the firefighter not knowing about alcohol: I was getting a flu shot, and the nurse looked right at my biohazard tattoo and asked "What's that?" It wasn't stylized, or badly drawn. Even when I told her it was a biohazard symbol, there was not a trace of recognition on her face.
Don't used sharps boxes have that symbol front and center? jfc I hope she wasn't throwing all those needles straight in the trash
@@bat6353there are many versions of biohazard symbols, unlike the radioactive ones.
What if you just thought it was a biohazard symbol lol
Oh god
What if it was just a nuclear symbol instead of biohazard? Maybe you confused the 2 as did your tatoo artist
“How do you spell cannibalism without the ism? Cannable right?”
- My ex, who’s apparently still not the brightest bulb in the box. Misspelling is one thing, but spelling cannibalism right but then not being able to just take off the last 3 letters is truly impressive.
Can'apples
How does Cannibal turn into Cannable
It's just 3 letters taken away from the "ism" I really wanna know how that person muldered that out without a trace
@@JayEverdeenValentinehe probably thought that cannibalism had something to do with cans
Nah it's Cannabis 😂
I know this is kinda similar to this video but I love watching the positive side of things. I'd LOVE watching a "Moments you realized you were smarter than everyone else" video where people recall that moment of pure euphoria when they realize they're smart ❤
I'd probably recall the first day of my high school history class, when my teacher gave every student a historical event (without the dates) and asked us to try and order ourselves chronologically. I started guiding people to their spots and when the teacher reviewed us she said, "Your class got the most correct out of any other class!" And everyone looked at me with a smile.
I've never been more fulfilled than being able to watch a Matt Rose video within the first 10 minutes.
Truly it is a note-worthy life achievement! 🎉
My favourite “stupid” question that my partner asked me is “ Are ninja turtles… frogs?” 😂😭🤣🤦🏻♀️
"Is the pink panther a lion"
"Ask that question again... slowly."
My first tattoo was a heart with a peace sign inside, matching my mothers, so I joke that I inherited it from her and I’ve had people genuinely think I meant I was born with the tattoo she had 😭
Hereditary tattoos...
Sounds like a fantasy book idea.
Like, special markings for superpowered characters or somethin.
On behalf of the writers here, can we steal that idea?
@@RandomMaximal lmaooo i would totally read a book with hereditary tattoos
@@Sage-ig9hk i guess i know what im writing tonight
When I was in the 2nd grade, my dad would occassionany but one of those Babybel cheeses in my lunchbox. I didn't realise the coating on them was actual wax at the time, just thought it was a kinda thing sort of like a Fruit Rollup. So I'd eat it with the cheese.
Funnily enough, it took me half a decade and a random discussion with some old friends so realise that it was indeed wax.
The kicker? I liked the wax more than the cheese itself. I don't know about you but I reckon this is a verified 💀 classic.
occassionany? Also, until this video I never knew it was wax. I never had it.
No-one TELLS us it's wax! They just hand them out in kindergarten and leave you to find your own way. One kid stuck his up his nose, which -- given the lack of instructions otherwise -- was a valid response. Also, it wasn't until my 20's that I realized there's extremely crappy chocolate inside those Hanukkah gelt coins they give you in kiddie gift baskets. I found out by having the coins melt in my car.
@@worfsonofmogh1154 Lmao I only just noticed that! 😂
@@KR-ue1gd True! I mean how else are we supposed to know smh.
Do you have pica or something 😂
7:46 "I say.... ga..." - Sonic The Hedgehog
most creative comment yet
this actually made me laugh oh my god
I A M S E G A
I once ate half of an order of stir fry out of a family friend's fridge before I realized the eggplant was actually octopus. I am a vegetarian.
In fairness, it did taste *exactly* like under-seasoned eggplant.
Wouldn't the texture usually give it away?
I usually find octopus to be somewhat chewy (very, very chewy if overdone) and eggplant to be pretty soft.
You monster...
RIP squidward
As someone who’s eaten octopus but never has eaten eggplant, this is important information.
One time while driving somewhere, my dad saw a vehicle with an interesting color. He then said in a pondering way, “what kind of car would that color look good on… a boat?”
huh???
This comment hurt my brain for a sec
That feels like a dad moment, and I can only wait for the time I begin such verbal gaffes.
Dad try not to think about boat challenge: impossible
@@phleetofph0gg Me if I was a husband and father and somehow could still afford a boat in this century’s economy:
Until like a year ago i didn’t know that it was “bless you” you say after someone sneezes. I always thought it was some made up word like “bleshu” 🤣
I honestly get the woman asking when District 9 happened. The movie is framed as a documentary, the CGI holds up EXTREMELY well, and Sharlto Copley (the writer) is a master at writing extremely realistic dialogue.
On one hand, yeah - it involves aliens coming to Earth, you'd kind of assume we'd know about that. On the other hand... damn that movie does a great job at immersion.
EDIT: It's also a not-so-subtle allegory for Apartheid, so she might have meant that.
Yeah, she maybe thought that that is what happened at District 9....thats probably worse
Yeah, like, if you had to pick an alien movie to think was real, that's probably by far the most reasonable one 😂
7:41 audio transcription:
"I SEE ALL... I hit the thing."
"I SEGA."
"I SEE... mmm."
"I- FUCK"
"ICEE"
ICEEEEEEEE is literally my favorite
Because it reminds me of one time when I was 14 years old (I'm almost 17) I was trying to say
"Ice cold units"
And I ended up just moulding out
"ICEEEEEEEE units 777 BEEEEEEES"
Not ICE-E the pizza mascot!
I got TWO car ads trying to get to this timestamp...
@thomashaeyen6942 imagine if you got 2 ICEE slushy ads
Good to know that matt f***s.
"Is that earth?"
listen here, you might be dating an alien
i feel like an alien would definitely know the answer to that question though
gneep gnorp smarply goigle
My boyfriend and I were in the car about a week into our relationship and I mentioned how I really liked Elvis Presley, and his response was “I love Elvis Presley, hee hee”
He thought Elvis was known for saying heehee, not Micheal Jackson
Update: We broke up
but not because of that right?
@ it’s related to
4:22 If someone ever calls it "fanny bean" i think i might just die laughing.
SAME LMAOOO
imagine hearing that in bed, all hyped up and ready and stuff, mood completely ruined by "fanny bean" and its just laughter
Fanny Bean sounds like a band name, and I’m keeping it :3
wonder egg priority pfp :3
@@meowzfever it's a good anime
We weren't partners but a girl at my school not only thought, but firmly believed that Caucasian was a language. I had to argue with her about it for 3 consecutive days before she googled it.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northeast_Caucasian_languages
Northeast Caucasian, or Northwest Caucasian languages exist, so she's partly right, but instead of one language it's a whole family descending from the original "Caucasian language".
I had an argument with a friend in school for days because she was convinced mandarins were purple. I still have the emails of our argument to this day and I'm tempted to show them to her now that we're both adults
Well, it's a language family.
this reminds me of the girl at my (all girls) highschool that thought feminism meant hating men. several times we explained that no, hating men is called misandry, and it should not be supported. feminism means thinking that men and women should have equal rights. even after this she said something along the lines of "i just cant support feminism because i think men and women should be treated the same"
yeah. same girl. that's what feminism IS
My mom’s (ex) husband used to work in the military. He once was on a ship in the southern hemisphere. My mom asked him if the water drained down a sink the other direction and he said “No I don’t think so, it’s an American ship”
Edit: F*ck
Well, fun fact about that: He's right. The whole hemisphere drain thing is actually just due to how sinks are designed in different areas.
He is right
You can teleport to the southern hemisphere if you can get it to swirl in the other direction.
Folks please google the Coriolis effect before replying.
@@masongrainger2271 how about you don't tell me what to do
We never dated, but one day at the gas station my sister asked if I was using the correct fuel because she thought the octane numbers were the year your vehicle had to be.
At most American stations, that would mean there are only 3 acceptable model years - 4 if you include the year Diesel
1:34 My dad did that once with a herd of deer, he stopped the car, opened the window and yelled "Mooo!" 😂
Maybe he thought they were mooose!
Not my partner but my cousins boyfriend once asked ‘how we stay on the planet if it’s spinning around’
Guess he’s never heard of gravity
I mean it's a legit question but it sounds like he needs to go back to 4th grade
@@Jupiter-T fr tho
Somehow learned about centrifugal force before gravity
@@egan452 XD
"Oh SHIT!" *drops to floor*
I once walked around my Home Economics class asking everybody if they had an egg squeezer.
I just read "home economics" as "homo erotics" XD
@@ichbinben.That's an entirely different class altogether.
What was your thought process here 😭
@@v-Citrus I was looking for a lemon squeezer!
@@laineydavey ohhhh…. Yeah sounds believable I would probably mix up a lemons and eggs
This is 20 years ago but.. My girlfriend met me in Chicago. I was on a business trip. We were standing on Navy Pier and she asked me “what ocean is this?”. 🤦♂️
7:24 matt is *always* watching
Note to self, print faux "bone marrow drive" street signs for Halloween
Don’t forget Blood Drive.
And Test Drive (scary if you’re still in school)
@@llamasugar5478 If I fill my entire neighborhood with these I may actually get arrested so I gotta pick one
@@tacticalassaultanteater9678 😂
@@tacticalassaultanteater9678 Become ungovernable
well?
You know that thing where you’re like “look what these people can do,” right?
Olymics?
@@jonathanthegoobernah that’s not it!
Tv shows?
@@KorbinoYo Oh yeah Olym🅱️ics
Talent shows?
my ex-boyfriend once tried to get rid of an mosquito bite by heating up a spoon with his lighter and pressing the hot metal against his skin. It did get rid of the mosquito bite (heat breaks down the toxin), but also gave him second degree burns.
No more itch! … for a couple of days, at least. 😅
His genius couldn't handle his stupidity
Not a partner, but this kid at my high school had hundreds of ridiculous "Did you know?"s, dozens of which I wrote down. The first one that always comes to mind is "Did you know that Mars has no Sun?"
That sounds like a joke one of my college friends would make, except he would know it is a joke. He would often say sudden preposterous statements or questions. One of the best was his excuse for declining to play a game of pool because "I don't have hands" as he holds up his clearly visible hands.
@@CrizzyEyes I love that kinda guy
@@CrizzyEyes Well, he just hasn't collected the severed hands from anybody else yet!
My one friend’s ex had never made tea before, all he knew was to put the bag in the cup of hot water, so he did.
Without removing the packaging first.
This man was in his senior year of high school.
The first time I ever tried to make tea, I got the hot water and put the leaves directly into the water, no little holder to keep them from getting in or anything.
@@theresahaironthescreenI mean, that's an acceptable way of making tea if you know what you're doing. If you put leaves in a teapot and pour the water at a certain angle (or use full leaves) you won't need a filter.
And tea with crushed tea leaves that stay I your tea cup isn't uncommon. The remaining dust is often used as a form of divination.
@@theresahaironthescreen Call me crazy if you want, but I just eat the leaves as I drink
@@Me-da-Ghost Who's "me crazy"? What's their number?
As someone who specifically asked my mom if I was doing it right, this is understandable and not completely absurd if you don't drink tea ever
4:40 not only am i guilty of that, i have just turned it into my online name loll
r/usernamechecksout
IMAGINE EATING A CHAAAIIIIIR
Hermit is a crab just not with capitalized H.
@@hermitthecrab4642 why did I get pinged from this
@BrooklynnAndFriends i have absolutely no idea
My husband thought the phrase was “that really puts a hamper on the situation,” like a laundry basket 😂
that really puts a hampter on the situation
In my life, seeing a full hamper really puts a damper on things. I hate laundry day.
that really puts my hamster in a situation
MATT ROSE, YOU AT 8:42 SAID “BABYBEL” WHEN THE COMMENT CLEARY SAID “BAYBEL”
I WANT THIS RECTIFIED ASAP!
BAYBEL is that big mythical tower made out of cheese by Phil Collins from Genesis. Everyone knows that.
@@paulosborne6517 I love the implication that humanity rebelled against God by making a tower made entirely of cheddar. 💀
@@paulosborne6517 also known as the Tower of Pizza, right?
@@TheDogeOfSarcasmWe do a little trolling
Why did I read that “I WANT THIS ERECTIFIED ASAP” LMAO
2:39 is so funny because we’ve (the girls) have convinced the boys in our grade that tampons have flavors
Personally, i can't taste the difference. I'm still gonna eat them, shit's scrump af.
I thought so, too, but just for smell or something. Like RGB on headphones, it's useless. And i refuse to believe its false
They don’t come in flavours!?
@@Zombiezambo they do dw! my fav is lemon
@@elle.griffith ew why not orange?
7:51 "hey matt what's the name of that one slushie brand"
I was going to comment “when they ask what I want at the concession stand at the movie theater”
@@space9535 that's a better one imo
"What is the name of the pizzeria mascot in deltarune, that Noelle thought was a cryptid"
"hey matt what do you do with your eyes?"
“What do you call that frozen letter over there?”
8:27 my teacher actually pulled up a meme on the projector that said
earth moon sun: solar eclipse
sun earth moon: lunar eclipse
earth sun moon: apocalypse
A girl I saw briefly, who was a part-time rapper who only did college radio freestyles, told me that Lil' Wayne was plagiarising her lines.
This is why it was brief.
Confession: I didn’t realise the white and yellow dandelions were the same thing until I was like 14.. I wasn’t very bright
To make you feel better, I figured that out in my twenties...
THEY'RE WHAT!?!
@@cuckoobrain7999 sorry you had to find out like this
I got to know that at some point, funny thing is i don't even know when. Probably when i was like 10-12
I remember finding this out when i was 5 or 6 and everyone ive ever gone to school with didnt know until they were around 12 or 13
Literally my favourite bit of my Monday is sitting down with my mum and eating dinner whilst watching Matt Rose. Thank you for appealing to both my mum and me
8:36 reminds me of the time that my french teacher killed a spider and then said "dont hurt animals, except for spiders, but theyre insects, not animals."
That’s such a funny contradiction.
Wow, they managed to get it _doubly_ wrong, spiders are arachnids, not insects, good thing they didn't teach biology...
My spider nerd senses are tingling so bad at the fact they called it an insect.......... also spiders are cool 💔
Matt never fails to make me smile
Thank you Matt
My fiancé once called me a dingleberry in a text conversation. I responded with ‘um… do you know what that is?’ There was a long pause, and then about five text messages of apologies. He either had to google it or ask one of his colleagues. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard at the poor, adorable idiot.
The 'foolish or inept person' definition of that word is far more widely known and used than the 'other' definition that I just learned today as a result of your comment.
My parents told me that it meant penis
He's an idiot for not knowing what a dingleberry is ? So I'm assuming that you know every word that's ever existed ?
I always remember the day my friend turned to me and asked me a very serious question about the lion king remake… “how did they get the lions to do that?! They must be very well trained.”
😂
You should watch „Roar“ with them.
When I was 8, I fully believed that the reason it took so long to make movies, was because they just screenshotted every single frame like a flipbook.
😭
EMERGENCY FROG SITUATION ‼️‼️‼️🐸📣📣📣
🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸
Frog
This damn joke never ends does it...?
🐸
🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸
10:18 guess they *were* havin' a bad bad day.
If you take it personally, that's okay
why ask why better yet why not?
why does vector think that he’s smart
@@rasarbanabwhy are you marking x on that spot
Why use a blowtorch isn’t that hot?
(1:14)
"Hey, who's your favorite Star Wars character?"
*"Ho Chi Minh."*
I hate how that actually sounds like a plausible name for a Star Wars character
Glup shitto
Glup shitto
Ho Chi Minh
Qui-Gon Jinn
same difference
That totally sounds like a Star Wars name 😄
At 9:12 I thought you were gonna take a bite right out of it, then reveal it was a fake pine cone made out of chocolate.
[ Inaduable ] SKULL EMOJI
2:45 yeah, thats an alien, not your girlfriend
Why not both? Alien gf sounds cute
@@Arakus99 VotV player detected
@@СавелийИванов-ш3м I literally do not know what that is
@@Arakus99voices of the void
0:10 tbh, I would've preferred professional sports to be this rather that competitive… it's not always ethical to the athletes, esp. minors
For real, man.
High school sports exists…
Also without competition people wouldn’t try as hard, and how would you decide who qualifies over another
Problem is it doesn't work. It's the insane competitive drive that pushes people to do the exceptional things. Otherwise it'd just be me in spandex doing 2 wonky push-ups for the gold.
@@infantiltinferno said as if it was something bad, not to push your body to the point of breaking and long lasting consequences of that for what, a glorified pat on the back? Fifteen minutes in the limelight, *gold*? Pfffft, as if it can compare in value to your only health and life quality.
@@calamityoblivion301 Oh, here's an idea: what if we - get this - DON'T DECIDE that someone NEEDS to be superior over someone else?
1:04 so glad that i can tell this story... one time my grandparents were watching a documentary about beluga whales and my obi goes "that's where caviar comes from!" and my oji is just "mammal. whales are mammals" and now everytime someone says something really dumb we say mammal
*mammal*
This could double as an r/skamtebord post
Platypuses and echidnas are mammals too!
when i was young i thought "throwing caution to the wind" was "throwing kosh into the wind"....like "kosh" was a thing people threw for some reason...only figured it out when i asked my dad "hey what the hell is kosh anyways?" i still get shit for it to this day in my 40s.
Well, a kosh is a basically a short, semi-flexible club made from leather and filled with lead shot, they're also known under the name blackjak or sap. You could easily throw one of those to the wind, but I can't imagine why anyone _would._
When you specify that you can't have meat, you find out who's not very intelligent in that area of thinking. I've had more than one incident of someone being like "but it has chicken on it and that's not meat, that's poultry" or "but seafood isn't meat" sometimes I wonder about people 😂
Edit: I want to make sure many know that in saying this I'm not putting anyone who thinks like this down as being totally unintelligent in all areas. There can be smart people with gaps in some areas of thinking.
To be fair "that's not meat, that's poultry" has all the hallmarks of a smart arse rather than someone without intelligence, and a lot of food retailers do classify poultry, seafood and fish as separate things to meat. Even game (rabbit, venison, partridge, pheasant etc) can be classified as a separate thing to meat. The flip side of that is that the word 'meat' use to just be synonymous with food, which is why the filling of a mince pie is still called 'mincemeat' even though no animal flesh is involved, so to someone time travelling here from past centuries "I don't eat meat" would effectively make you a 'breatharian'.
@@MrDannyDetail But you gotta lack some common sense to hear the phrase "I don't eat meat" and think that they certainly meant "Things labeled as meat in a grocery store" and not, ya know, meat. And yes, I can confirm from experience that people who make these kind of distinctions as a reaction to someone not eating meat are (at least sometimes) serious and genuinely require you to spell out that you mean everything that was once a part of an animal's body....
It's still wild to me that so many people have decided fish aren't meat. Muscles are meat. Fish have muscles. It's meat.
Tbf i think part of the reason people say fish is fine when you tell them you dont eat meat is cause of pescetarians
@@DustyTheOrange Eh. Have you ever met a pescetarian who said they don't eat meat? I know three and was close friends with two of 'em and they always said they only eat fish.
i was the idiot in the relationship. it was 2020 and i said “next year is leap year!” we had a whole argument about it
Was leap year cancelled due to Covid?
Ex was allergic to horses, he was very aware of this. We were visiting Shibdon Park and there were a couple of lovely shire horses in a nearby field. He immediately petted the pretty horses and less than two minutes later touched his eye. By the time we reached the nearest pharmacy he could barely see from his swollen face.
Once turned up in shoes that did not match. His excuse 'they are both black boots. Elliott say the bird thing!' He thought an ongoing joke would distract me.
Believed that having two implants one after the other hence stopping my periods for 6 years meant I had 6 years worth of blood to leak out when the second one was removed.
Not a partner but another young man thought you could bite into a pineapple. Hadn't tried but asked why the pineapple in the tin my ex had yeeted at a third friend was in cunks.
@@lizanna6390 SIX YEARS OF BLOOD TO LEAK OUT is a terrifying concept
@@kittycake713 I was cramping so bad at one point he was starting to make sense.
The woman necking her wedding ring plus 3 others has me HOWLING
2:29 As a North Carolinan, i can confirm that Kim Jong Un is our favorite leader.
As a fellow North Carolinian, I concur
As another, with make extra evidence by also confirming
My president 😍
Same
As a North Carolinian, I can vouch for this
6:36 is metal as fuuck
Fr 😭
jokes on you, i am an idiot
Dame
relatable
@@M4kkaraperunat Upee käyttäjänimi! ❤
@@Logitah selvä
jokes on you, im the definition of idiot
See? See?! This is why I am up at 1am. Took me forever to find something on RUclips actually entertaining to watch!