Tragic Stories from the Foster Care System
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- Опубликовано: 27 дек 2023
- Peter Mutabazi (@FosterDadFlipper ) is an extraordinary man who has taken it upon himself to become a foster parent. Having childhood trauma of his own, Peter wanted to ensure children the foster care system had a safe and loving home while waiting to be unified with their parents. Rebecca and Peter discuss the tragic reality that many kids face in the foster care system, and how a program meant to help many kids is ultimately failing so many of them. This episode will cover some really heavy examples that will be hard to hear, but just as important to educate ourselves on.
Hi my lovlies! I know this and last weeks episodes have been super important topics, but also really heavy on the heart! Because of this I’m gonna make sure next week is really chill, relaxing vibes, a bit more silly.
It’s crucial to recognize the harsh realities that exist in our world, and also important to take care of our mental health and take some time to relax, smile, and laugh❤
I am a black girl and when I was 2 I was adopted by my white family If anyone told my I couldn’t stay with them anymore I would be devastated. I was never fostered so it’s not the same but still. It just hurts me that there’s still people like this in the world.
I read a book called fighting words it’s definitely my favorite book because I think it just spreads awareness. I don’t want to spoil it but please go read it or read about it this episode reminded me or this book
Oh my gosh I love this man just a few weeks ago I rolled upon his account and I love his content too
Little story for anyone who wants to hear🩷🤍
I feel really bad because I have a friend who has been in foster care since 1st grade because her first grade teacher noticed my friend always had bruises all over her, my friends dad had been a$saulting her and her 13 siblings (all from the same mom different dads though) in Numerous different ways. the teacher was my friends first foster mom. Since then my friend has been in 8 different foster homes because her old foster parents didn’t want to adopt for Alton of reasons but the main one is she had undiagnosed ADHD for a long time so they thought she was to hiper and one of her foster moms even put her on medication and it actually messed up her stomach a lot and now has stomach problems. anyways, right now ses been in this home for almost 3 years now and they can finally adopt her and her brother since there foster mom has officially divorced her husband since her husband had also s3xualy a$saulted my friend as well. I feel really bad because she doesn’t like her moms new boyfriend and he creeps out her (and me(not that matter in this situation)). I feel really bad because she my BEST friend but a lot of people don’t like her as much as I do because she’s so hiper (but I personally love that about her) so she has trouble making friends and I have recently moved across the country so I really hope she doing well.
Edit(I used $, and 3 so then my comment hopefully doesn’t get taken down🤞)
Thank you for all your videos, and everything you do I'm still pretty young yet (19) and I'm blessed to have the family I do (my bio parents a little strict sometimes, but amazing overall) but I have thought about fostering if I'm ever in a position where I'm able to, and I was thinking I wouldn't be,able to let go but after, watching this I want to learn more and in the future see about fostering and potentially adopting as well
I’m have a vary sad past that I’m still stuck in but I want to share to the world 😔😔 It’s real bad At least I am moving away from her she so rude
And she has made me her puppet in her dollhouse
Hey, I had a question about what would make a good foster parent? I want to become a foster parent in the near future, but I'm scared I would not be a great parent to them. I can provide their own rooms and have space and food. But my main concern is emotional support. As a child I did not receive support from my parents or anyone. And as a result I find discomfort in comforting others. I know I can do it and am able to as in the past I have take. Care and supported children. My fear is that I don't have what it takes to be the best parent that every child deserves. I can also rub off as sort of not caring because I tend to be calm in most situations. Whether that is cleaning up messes, supporting others, and just in general activities. I'm not sure that is what certain children need. So my question is can I be fit to take that position and help these children to my full potential?
Rebecca I love him thank you 😊 omg when you started to get upset in the preview I know this was going to be good but hard ❤️
My step father’s mom went to the hospital to have her baby. She found he had mental disabilities and also found out there was a baby girl that was left at the hospital due to her severe mental disabilities. She said “I thought, well I’m already going to have 1 with special needs, I may as well take her too” and so she took the baby girl home with her too ❤
Awwwwwwww
😭 the heroes among us
Oh my god!!!! I'm crying!!!!! Make sure that tell her that she is admired by a stranger from Mexico!
God Bless this man. I followed you, Rebecca, because of this story/video. I wish I were younger, I would foster children. It’s enough that I care for my grand children. Blessings to all with strong wills, and the innocent who are guided by our Heavenly Father. 🙏🏼🤍🙏🏼
God that is legit Angelic behavior.
My aunt and uncle were foster parents for a while but seeing a kid they fell for go back to an awful situation really broke their spirits.
When I was a kid my mom told me about a white family that she knew who were fostering a black boy they really loved him and he really loved them and the social worker pulled him from that family and put him with a black family and they ended up killing him
This is exactly why my husband doesn't want us to foster. I could see his soul get destroyed if we had to return a kid to a home where we know they'd be neglected and abused. But at the same time, those kids need someone
Yeah. I know a woman who had a foster child she loved. She really wanted to adopt him. He went back to his birth mother (even though it clearly wasn’t in his best interest) and he ended up going down a dark path. Now he is in jail. It really broke her.
I know a guy who was adopting a kid out of an abusive home. He hadn't signed up for foster. She had specifically requested him because he was her best teacher. She ended up getting sent back to the abusive home because they couldn't get her siblings out. Infuriating.
A lady (I went to HS with) and her husband, got a call in the middle of the night to go get a BABY, like only a few weeks old BABY. AFTER 1 year the Baby Girl was sent back to her mother (after going to court 3 previous times the Baby Girl was NOT given back to her mother). They were DEVASTATED but they continued on. A few months later they got another call pretty late at night to come pick up a small toddler. It was the SAME BABY GIRL. EVENTUALLY they were FINALLY able to adopt that baby girl. But they were heartbroken for several months when they didn't have her, they worried about her, but thankfully she is back with them
I am CRYING over the "Connor" story. That kid knowing he was seen and cared about is what every kid needs.
Me too, i started uncontrollably sobbing from this story and knowing that he might be doing better gives me hope for him.
Me too, as someone who has past with being in the system I was absolutely disgusted hearing when the children already lose their family and then more painful-ness.
What video is that? I would like to watch it!
I just don't understand how those emails couldn't be reported to CPS. It's clear intent and confession of planning abandonment. Also, the admin needs to take abuse of the school staff more seriously. That woman knew she was putting this poor teacher into a horrible emotional and moral situation by sending those emails to her and threatening her job and finances if she told anyone. She just wanted to hurt anyone she could as long as she could get away with it. Absolute psycho behavior.
I don't cry at much but this hit different I was also part of the system and it broke my heart.
I lived with my Aunt and uncle for a few years after I graduated college. After I moved out they realized they really enjoyed having someone else around the house and decided to foster. The first little girl they housed came from a home where both parents were addicts. They completely fell in love with this little girl and wanted to adopt her. When they found out the father was seeking treatment and working to fix his life they pulled back their adoption application. They did everything they could to maker sure the Father could be involved with his daughter safely as he was healing. Once he was set up and was given parental custody back, my Aunt and Uncle moved over 3 hours away so they could stay close. They are part of that family as Grandparents and that little girl (who is in HS now) sees them almost everyday. You always hear the terrible stories about CPS and the foster care system. It was very heartwarming to see a foster situation turn out so beautifully.
This is what true love looks like. They wanted what was best for her and showed it. What amazing examples!
I have a 2yr old baby girl who I've known since birth (in fact my 14yr old and I named her) I took care of her quite often staying at a week old, I had her several days a week... Over a year ago birth mom asked me to keep her for a week... She left her with 3 diapers, 2 dirty outfits, and an infant car seat she was too big for... I've had her ever since and was just granted legal guardianship and am working toward adoption!
Congratulations!
Awesome! I hope things work out for you!
I'm so happy for you and that baby. That's your child and it's only fair that she now belongs with the rest of your family. All the best 💖💖💖
What a beautiful blessing from the Lord Jesus Christ the Son of the only living God
Let’s hope everything goes well. I have been adopted by kinship and the state forced me to go see my ABUSIVE parents when I was a little over 1 year old.
I’m a single foster parent. I had a one year old who would climb into his own high chair, would scream to be held while I prepared food afraid he wouldn’t get any and would throw food under his chair to eat later (I would clean it up, but he would look for it later). It was so hard to convince him he would always be fed because it was so ingrained and he wasn’t speaking yet. I currently have a 17 year old and she was surprised when I told her she could help herself to any food in the fridge or pantry, and she could cook when she wants to. But foster care is really challenging. The children often have really big behaviors because of trauma that can make it very challenging to take care of them and hold down a job. Trying to navigate dealing with social workers, courts, etc. can be really challenging.
It shows what kind of foster parent you are that you called them "big behaviors because of trauma" and not "bad behaviors" or "acting out" 🥹
It really makes me mad about how a ONE YEAR OLD CHILD was worrying about whether or not they would get food. It honestly breaks my heart how cruel people can be. Not just in foster care, but in general. I honestly can’t wrap my head around it. This is making me want to be a foster parent at some point in the future, because knowing that I could change and positively impact a child’s life is wonderful to think about, especially since I have had family issues.
@@is.RayvenHe learned this from his biological family, NOT another foster family. He was 19 months when he came to me and had been in care less than 2 months at that point.
@@is.Rayvenyou have to keep in mind what he said. Not everything that happens to these kids is intentionally cruel. I know that a lot of it is, but his story about the mom living with her kids in the car is a good example. Sometimes parents struggle financially, and they get their kids taken away even though they love them. The system would rather pay hundreds of dollars every month to a foster parent rather than put that money towards helping a bio parent get on their feet. That’s why people get into fostering for the wrong reasons.
And I’m not talking about the OP. She seems lovely.
God Bless You and give you strength. 🙏🏼🤍🙏🏼😊
I was in the system from 8-18 until I aged out. I had a middle school teacher who wanted to adopt me, but they made that too difficult. I had an uncle who wanted to see about options to get me out, they made it too difficult and costly. My mother wanted me, but needed resources and help for her addiction, yet they only gave her more and more functional tasks to complete to get me back.
Not only did I acquire more trauma being in the system, but the few people I had who might have cared were ignored by the state. So I was left in to rot until my family slowly forgot about me, until bonds grew stale.
I’m 30 now and I still feel like a forgotten little girl by all of my family. My time away destroyed it all. They have to do better, the consequences can cost someone’s future.
You are loved.
They did the same to my family.. I'm so sorry 💔
Oh my god, I am so so sorry.
I don’t know who you are. But just know you have a purpose in life. God only gives the hard challenges to those he knows will overcome them. Don’t look back and keep going forward ! 🙏🏽 💯
Aww hunny
My little brother is black, my whole family is white and we adopted him when he was born, we love him with all our hearts and we are so thankful that he’s part of our family and could never imagine it any other way. ❤❤❤
All kid deserve parents, not all parents deserve kids.
This is literally it right here. Some people do not deserve to ever have a child. But every single child deserves parents who love them.
When I was 14, my mother had to be hospitalized. I didn't have any place I could go so I had to be put in a foster care home for about 48 hours. The parents where amazing. And when my mother was discharged, I got to go home. Reunification doesn't always work out, but if it is a safe home, there is absolutely no reason that the kids can not be reunited with their parents.
So my dad is a lawyer and I got curious and shared 32:26 with him and you could have sued HER for threatening you. I also want to let you know, if there’s something bad irl, we all here for you online❤
You’re right, teacher has a duty to pass this information down.
Yes I agree
Yeah but imagine how scared she would've been she really had no choice in per position
I will remember this story!!💜💜 im so glad that student is safe and well.
I'm personally shocked that the administration told her that she couldn't do anything. Teachers are meant to be mandatory reporters and that mothers behavior sent MAJOR red flags for her sons safety
As a former family and child care lawyer this brought back a lot of memories of the challenges these kids face through no fault of their own.
Thanks for such an informative and thought provoking video
Bit of an off-topic question, but can you please tell me more about your former job? I have always been interested in that type of law and I would love to know about the salary, day-to-day, case outcomes, and other factors that go into it. Thanks!
Back in highschool I had a classmate who just turned 18 on his last year of highschool tell me he was trying to adopt his friend's little brother so they could see each other more. He met all the requirements and wanted to help his friend out. His friend couldn't adopt his own little brother for some reason.
This whole video and comments brought back memories of him telling me this.
I don't know if he adopted his friend's little brother because he graduated before I could ask him and I didn't see or talk to him again after that.
10:40 if you’re here for the short story about race adoption, this is the time mark. You’re welcome! ❤
Ty 😊
Thank youuuu 😁
Thank you :)
Tyy
Ty
I find it amazing that she cared so much about the kid in the Connor story and then he emailed her back telling her that he’s safe, and I find it so beautiful that she still checks up on him from time to time just to see if he is safe, she is one hell of a teacher
Good teachers are holding this rock down, man. All respect.
These story’s were so heartbreaking, some people don’t realise that children are still people with complex emotions.
...or people at all.
I was so glad I had the foster parents that I did. I was a foster child late December 1978-the end of May 1979. I literally JUST talked to my former foster mother (she is 90 years old now) and foster father (92) yesterday! My older brother and sister had a different foster family than our younger brother and I. Their experience was not as good as ours.
I was a foster kid and I truly appreciate you talking on this topic. I aged out of the foster system and had a rough time in foster care. Its so great hearing all of these stories and seeing awareness with accurate information being spread here. Thank you for what you're doing.
It is so amazing how caring he clearly is. It just brings me so much joy that the children he fosters are able to be in such a loving home. ❤
As a social worker who aged out of foster care system at 18 there is a lot about this video that can be praised and their is some parts of this video that needs additional information in order to give the full picture of what the foster care system in America is, how it is intended to operate, how it actually works and the impact that the foster care system has on children, families and communities. I think that having a foster parent their to share their experiences is a great way to start the conversation but I also think that having a social worker who knows the foster care system and how it operates could give more insight to understand why decisions are made and how they are made.
YES! There are things about the system that people don't know. When she talked about the kid in the home he loved and was loved - but they found a relative. Her focus was on the removal of the child from someone who loved him - with no explanation of keeping people connected to their kin if at all possible. It isn't about the cultural situation the child is in - but the family he's related to, by blood, that he's going to.
Fellow social worker here, and former foster kid who was adopted from the system. I commend you if you’re able to work child services. I couldn’t. I found the system so irrevocably broken, with the best interest of the child usually lost in procedure and good intentions. I left child services early in my career, and instead found my place in community mental health services.
You suggest having a social worker there also to get a better picture - but you don't suggest also having some adult former foster kids there. Interesting.
The first thing that comes to mind is wow - these kids really are just "units" being trafficked around so they can be kept in the system, because keeping them in the system is where the money is. Who cares what the kid thinks, feels, or wants?
No wonder the system is so broken. It's designed to fail.
When you profit by keeping kids in the system, the kids are going to stay in the system as long as they can be kept there.
Not exactly rocket science.
And finding some distant relative the kid never met, doesn't know isn't always a good idea. Especially if they're happy where they are.
Face it - system is broken. Badly. It doesn't need repair. It needs to be completely rebuilt. With the money incentive removed completely.
My husband and I adopted our 5 daughters (biological sisters) from foster care two years ago 💕 We also saw & experienced a lot of heartbreaking things along the way.
Thank you for sharing your platform with me! Love how you advocate for the least of these! I know you as former teacher you did your best to help our little ones in foster care! Thank you for educating others to love beyond the walls of their homes! ❤❤
I think what he said about helping the parents before taking their kids is such a powerful thing. Unfortunately I have seen this all too often when the kids are taken from good parents that just needed some help and the bad parents don’t have their kids taken and the kids end up hurt or dead.
People are so quick to criticise rather than help. Many people grew up without any guidance whatsoever- how is anyone to learn with bad examples? Whenever I see anyone doing something questionable I know it isn't deliberate, it's poor self esteem and lack of guidance. Sometimes just a hand in friendship can go a long ways.
This guy is a Saint. Like wow. There really is genuinely good people in this world.
Story time
I had an old friend that used to be abused a lot by her mother and yelled at a lot by her dad. She tried calling CPS for Help many times, but they ended up putting her on the do not answer list because she has schizophrenia and some other mental illnesses which “made her think she was getting abused, and she has a lovely family”
Meanwhile she was sending me the pictures and text messages of physical and verbal abuse pictures as a seventh grader
We could never figure out how to get her help but as we started growing up she found girlfriend who protects her and stands up for her constantly
I’m so proud of them now
Also she was adopted. That was the main part of the story, and I forgot to include it
They adopted her to treat her like a servant and abuse her
I have so many other details, but I don’t really wanna write a book in the RUclips comment section
@@syd3791 I hope she got out of that situation, it sounds terrible
I work at a youth shelter and I see this stuff all the time- thank you for shining a light on family conflict and the foster care system
I’m trying so hard to not cry at work rn because I’m listening in between calls. This is a heartbreaking episode but it’s something I feel everyone needs to hear
My family fostered kids it was a roller coaster it definitely was the hardest part of my life and the happiest part, my best friend was actually one of my foster sisters! I definitely support all the good foster parents out there
I love this series, do you?
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes
Yes
I asked my religouse Mom one time "If you were in the orphanage and you had an option between a gay couple who you knew would love abd adore you as there own, or a straight couple who you knew were abusive. Which faimly would you choose?" She replied with "I would choose to stay in the orphanage."
I knew that was a pretty just... Sad responsd.. This video makes it so much worse...
I came from a really sheltered religious background like that. Thank goodness I experienced the real world and grew out of that kind of mentality.
That's horrible. I'm a pretty conservative Christian myself but there is absolutely no way that I would say a homosexual couple that was loving and kind couldn't foster/adopt a child in need.
There are so many horrible things in this world that it boggles my mind that some people choose to get up in arms about a couple wanting to give a loving home to a needy child just because they're gay.
@@stacyk123You have no idea how many people think otherwise. You are an absolute angel. Thank you thank you thank you❤
@@stacyk123We need more people like you in the world who can believe what they believe while at the same time not letting that cloud all their judgements ❤️🙏
@@stacyk123conservatives shouldn’t be allowed to have kids due to whites being racists though whites also shouldn’t have kids we need to stop racism. Black Lives Matter we need to better world for kids.
My cousin was fostered and adopted by my aunt, but she fostered so many kids before that. I have a photo of one of my birthdays when I was really young (maybe 5 I'm 18 now) and there is this little boy sitting next to me that was one of my aunts foster kids. He looks so happy in that photo it makes me want to foster when I'm older to bring more kids that joy!
I love this series, i am so glad you covered this topic. My great aunt did this back in the 1990s, and she fostered mainly teenagers. Everyone loved her, and she still has the photos of them on her fridge to this day. Shes one of my favorite people. I feel awful for all the children who go to homes who are only looking for a check, and who dont value these children. If i ever get a big enough place ill talk to my husband about foster care and if we can foster children too. I love helping people and i love children.
I absolutely love that you did this interview. I wish he was able to talk more about what he can or can’t do to protect the foster kids even within the foster system to try and prevent the kids from being unnecessarily.
Momma of 3 biological kiddos and now adopted 3 of our 7 foster babies and the journey continues ❤️
You are a amazing person
I just want to say that the foster families that are kind and caring and supportive are absolutely amazing. Especially this guy Peter and Rebecca is an amazing teacher to give her email to a child she is so worried about. That mother should never have anymore children - she doesn’t deserve them.
If you want the time where she was talking about abandoning her son to her dad and told the teacher she couldn’t tell anyone. 31:58
Thank you!
For those who came for the short about to people who adopted traumatized children from liberia 25:51
Bless those poor kids😢
I think it was Liberia but yeah
@@zoeg5304 yea it was Liberia
Poor kids
@@zoeg5304 sawy
29:47 For anyone looking for the story about the child who was sent to foster care over thanksgiving break without knowing it
ty!!
@@LoveOrangeCats Np!
THANK YOU I WAS LOOKING FOR THIS
tysm!
Thank you!!
Im from the UK, I was a residential support worker for a year and alot of the stories you talk about i experienced with the kids i worked with. It was heartbreaking to see. Bless the hearts of everyone in the care system. You are all deserving of love and safety.
i work in a group home and people like this man help make our jobs so much easier. these kids have so much trauma and pain, and foster parents like this guy help our kids so much in trusting and loving again
As a kid who was in foster care thank you. But to add on the “my dads ” makes me so happy because it reminds me that there are good parents out there. It always made me feel better
I wasn't raised in a foster home but my mom always screamed and cussed at me. When I was 3, I wanted to go with my grandparents and my mom refused to let me go. I was crying an my mom did nothing but scream at me to stop crying. She would hit me anytime I showed emotions. I learned from the age of 3 that showing emotion was met with pain. We weren't allowed to have favorite foods that weren't hers. There's more but I'm going to stop there. I can definitely relate to some of the abusive stories. It's crazy.
This man has such a beautiful heart. God bless him!
I always knew I wanted to adopt kids because my belief has always been that we need to take care of the kids that we already have on earth before bringing new kids onto it. But after seeing this video, you have made me want to become a foster parent. I can’t adopt 30 kids, but through fostering I can help 30 kids and made eventually adopt one or two. I loved listening to this podcast and all the information was incredibly helpful. Thank you to the both of you❤
You Sir are incredibly compassionate, loving and a kind human being. If more men and women for that matter we're like you we would live in a very different world than we live in today. I too was raised for many years in foster care however nearly every foster home that I was in (and I was in probably more than 30) I was sexually abused in nearly every single one of those foster homes! And what was worse is that I was not believed when I told what was happening so as a result I stopped telling. The things that happen to me in those years in those different homes has affected me greatly throughout my life I am now a 54-year-old woman and still I struggle with consequences of the abuse that was done to me.
I'm sorry you had to go through any of that. I was a foster child too and I experienced abuse like that too. The first and only time I told anyone, their response was, "But at lunch you were laughing and playing with the other kids. How is it that you were in such a good mood right after it happened?" As a 12 year old child (I'm 49 now) I understood they didn't believe me, but didn't have the understanding of the psychology of trauma or the words to explain. I know now that a person can "compartmentalize". That when a child is abused in such a way, especially repeatedly, they can dissociate. The statistics say 1 out of 4 girls and 1 out of 6 boys are sexually abused by the age of 18. I believe that number is much, much higher because most incidents aren't even reported to anyone, let alone reported to police. I'm so very sorry you still feel that trauma and I do understand how things like this can affect a person for decades, possibly the rest of our lives. I'm sending thoughts and prayers of comfort and healing for you.
I was a foster kid for most of my life and the care you bring to this topic is absolutely beautiful, I have so much to say on on the topic of my foster sisters and brothers not being fortunate enough to create a stable life after. It's soo so hard making a life for yourself after foster care
Truly a godsend, we need more people like this man in the world. You can tell he is good with kids because his voice is so pleasant and calming!
Rebecca I hope you see this
I am 12 years old in 6th grade and I got taken from my mom 5 months ago because my mother hid my dead aunts body in her bedroom my aunt is severely disabled can't talk walk scream anything and my mother didn't feed her didn't give her water my mom neglected her severely well the social workers came for my aunt and they knocked and knocked and knocked on the door and my mom would say to me turn the tv off be quiet don't make a sound and I would whisper why and she would be like don't worry I was so confused on why I couldn't open the door well they found my aunt while I was with my dad because my mom dropped me off with my dad she was like you need to stay with him and I was like why I want to stay with you and she got really stunt like you are going to stay with him and after I found out about my aunt they said my mom and my little sister were missing my little sister is 3 years old 3 and my mother and her are missing well my sister is half Mexican and the workers told me and my dad that my little sister might be in Mexico or on there way to Mexico but then they found my mom and sister in a hotel in Asheville NC so once they found them my mom went to jail with a bond of only 10,000 dollars and my mother was on drugs at this time but I didn't know she was on drugs well my mom got bonded out for around 3 weeks then went right back to jail I don't know what she went for though then less than a month ago my mom tried to commit suicide saying I dont wanna be here I wasn't made for this world she slit her wrist in 3 places in my grandmas driveway now she is doing better and i get visits with her and my sister but when they found my aunt they said she had been dead for approximately 1 month so I was living with a dead person for 1 month
I'm sorry it is so long but it is a long story there is also articals on this and my moms case was on the news
Again I'm sorry
@Rebbeca.Rodgers
Nah that’s insane I hope that you stay tough and strong out there 😊 And please don’t give up or end your life
Espero que você saiba que Deus te ama muito. A gente é desobediente. Sua mãe estava andando num mal caminho, mas ela pode sair dele. Você e sua irmã não precisam seguir o mesmo caminho que ela. Vocês não precisam sofrer primeiro pra entender que tem caminhos que levam a morte. Mas Jesus leva a vida. Deus te abençoe.
Love I am so sorry for your situation, that must have been a terrible experience for family. I truly hope you are in a safe place and will learn to heal over that trauma. But for your own good I urge you to delete this comment, you deserve to have a private experience. The internet isn’t kind, for your own safety delete your comment.
I'm so sorry something so awful happened to you. I hope everything works out for you.
im sorry you went through this, im 13 in 7th grade, i also have trauma from my parents but definitely not like this, im so sorry🫂🫂🫂i hope youre okay (also you should probably delete this comment)
I love how that one little boy loved his family so much
When I was in highschool a friend of mine was in foster care and so I spent quite a bit of time at their house. Eventually the foster mom got comfortable enough with me around me to just talk, well she would tell me things like "we only foster for the money" and "I don't love all these kids around, but the money is great". All this in front of 7 and 8yo foster kids. I eventually stopped going over as much because it was so heartbreaking at 15 to hear someone speaking like that in front of those kids. My friend also eventually ended up being fostered by my family for a year, because she would have turned 18 before our senior year ended and they didn't want to change having someone in the house they weren't getting paid for, even for a few months that they might be responsible for while she was in school. Because of this, I have such respect for people who foster and adopt who truly love the kids and want to make sure the kids are safe and can feel like kids. I also have a deep hatred for people who use and abuse the system and hurt kids
My parents did it for the money, specialising in emergency care as it paid tons. They were utterly horrid. Utterly. I feel so awful for those kids. This was late 70's/80's and I really suspect nothing has changed in fostering. It took me til I was over 50 to even start to recover from the abuse, and most of the kids from then ended up on the streets. :(
My real name is Connor. And as a future teacher this stuff really helps with knowing what I am getting into. These kinda of stories drive so many teachers to change the world. Teachers like you help and save so many kids. Much love.
Thank you for this. My husband and I are trying to adopt a teen from the foster care system. When we went to the training classes, we were shocked to hear of the abuse by foster parents. So good to hear the good stories. God bless your guest.
This one broke my heart. In half. I’m a teacher and the story about the student over Thanksgiving just ripped me to shreds. I get to see all my students again in 2 days and there’s a few that I can’t wait to check on…
I am the camera person of the channel "The Foster Home". I never show my face because I am in foster care. I appreciate your work and listen alot. ❤ Rebecca
Some of these stories are so heartbreaking. I knew people (who I’m no longer friends with) who became foster parents to adopt a girl. They had 2 biological boys and both were morbidly obese and not going to have anymore children (there’s way more to that but I won’t go into it). So they had this foster girl who was taken from her mom due to drug addictions if the mom, dad, and grandmother. They had this baby call them mom and dad when she started to talk and had her well over a year. They were so focused on adopting her that they were blindsided when the mom cut ties with the dad and her mom, got clean, and regained custody of her daughter. The foster parents were devastated. Hearing in this that they weren’t supposed to have the kids call them mom and dad makes me angry that they did so. They are selfish people so I’m not surprised. After the first girl went back to her mom, they had another girl. The family, including their young boys, were all devastated because their boys were told that was their sister and then she went away. The new girl had the same color hair but was completely different. She had come from a highly abusive family and had a lot of issues. Because the whole foster family was emotionally empty, they couldn’t handle or even understand what this girl needed and had gone through. They ended up sending her back and stopped fostering. Because they went into this to adopt, they had the wrong mindset. Now there’s so much going on personally with them that I’m glad they aren’t bringing other children into that home. A selfless family/person needs to become foster parents, not those looking to adopt or looking for a paycheck. It’s sad what they go through in these awful homes.
I really love this episode. I volunteer with a kids camp for kids who have been abused and neglected and through the foster system and so many of the behaviors mentioned are exactly what staff get trained for. It's beautiful and heartbreaking to see the kids who are there for the first time and they are so surprised when they get to keep the blanket and teddy bear that we give them at the beginning of the week because they aren't used to having their own stuff and place from being moved around so much.
I used to be in foster care when I was only 6 years old for no reason and hearing these stories all brought me to tears. Thank you for bringing awareness to the Foster care system❤
Yes, regular parents should take that course as well.. I know my biological mother. And I grew up with her until I was about 13, Then she chose to give me up, and I was on my own. She didn't even put me in anyone's care. She just kicked me out on the streets pretty much.. I was still going to school. So obviously, someone noticed, and I was helped out. Social workers and a single wonderful teacher save my life. And every day I go to school. I try to pop by and say thank you to them. My teacher and the social workers at the school saved me from living on the streets. I am now turning nineteen at the end of the month and i'm almost done high school even with all of the disabilities and the neglect that I was started My teacher and the social workers at the school saved me from living on the streets. I am now turning 19 at the end of the month, and I'm almost done high school. Even with all of the disadvantages and the neglect in the school system in elementary school, I've succeeded. I truly love listening to your videos ❤ I don't feel so alone listening to them. Thank you, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You changed this little girl's way of thinking that I can take care of people when I'm old enough and financially stable. I truly want to adopt kids and help them out.❤❤❤❤❤
As a former foster child, I want to say you are inspiring and I'm happy for you!
Thank you Mrs Rogers for being such a positive influence! What sets these story discussions type videos above the rest for me is how real and raw your emotions are. It is clear that you care about what you were talking about and I think that’s so important. Thank you for using your platform to discuss topics that people tend to try to shove under the rug. Thank you for doing what you’re doing!
Peter sounds like a wonderful soul. I pray all the children experience the kind of love and nurturing Peter describes he wants for his foster children. And that this is a case of genuine foster/adoption that ends well. It’s unfortunate that There are a lot of monsters hidden behind friendly faces…
This is one of the best podcasts Ive ever listened to, a real tear-jerker 😢 we need to protect our children at all costs, they are innocents ❤
TW: SA
My best friend and her sister grew up in foster care because their parents had been using their bodies to make money. They were taken when they were 9 and 13.
When her little sister was in the system, she was abused by a social worker to the point where she got pregnant when she was 11 and because of Roe v Wade this eleven year old child was forced to have a baby. Both she and the child survived but it was so much harder to find a family who would take in two very traumatized children when one of them was pregnant. The social worker was sentenced to 20 years and was let out after 3.
That is sickening
@@MidnightMakesEditsit is, when I heard her whole story I almost threw up
How how did he get let out
Feel so bad for them especially the sister hope they doing better today
That is horrifying. I am so sorry to those little girls.
@@lily-if8ir So he got out because of good behavior, he is technically on parole with the only limitation being he can’t work with kids. My friend’s sister is obviously not okay but she is doing well for how terrible her situation is.
This is why i refused to allow my great nephew go into the system. I couldnt bear the thought of him going to strangers. I took him in at 7 months old. He is now a happy healthy 4 year old. I love him to pieces.
29:52, the story is absolutely heart breaking but that sucks having to carry that and not tell the poor kid who was gonna deal with it. It's good that he is in a better place.
My grandma fostered a handful of kids over the years. They all ended up going back to their families. One still sends her Christmas cards. 😊 also a youth group leader for years, that woman has a heart of gold and has touched so many kids' lives.
This was so wholesome yet so heartbreaking at the same time. HOW DO YOU DO BOTH?
What a beautiful story for such a beautiful man. He was meant to be a dad. Need more heroes like this.
I know a woman who is a foster mother. She recently got a child that was waiting for a home after being abandoned in Love Park. The poor girl is 2. She grabs the food off her plate and goes to a corner on her feet and hands and scarfs the food down so fast she gets sick. She eats paint she chips off the wall with her nails. I can’t even imagine what that poor child went through.
Gosh this episode was difficult to watch. In tears almost the whole thing.
Thank you both, thank you for sharing both the good and bad of this issue & clearing up a lot of misconceptions about how the foster system operates.
I’ve had rough times in my life, but in the same breath I have always been privileged enough to have a roof over my head and a meal (even if a small one). I understand sometimes these kids end up in the system just by circumstance & other times by neglect but every single person deserves a place to call home where they are safe, protected and loved.
Some friends from my church have fostered and I've seen the good and bad between both.
So the first set of friends (husband and wife) had a 2 year old despite the wife having medical issues. Anyways her and her husband decided to foster with the intent to adopt thinking that their only bio kid would be the only one they would have. They got placed with two kids one is the same age as their bio daughter. But then the wife found out she was pregnant with her second bio kid and her and her husband told their social case worker and within a week the foster kids were with a different family. My friends and their daughter were upset and of course has no way of contacting the new foster family
Another husband and wife from my church also got into fostering with the intent of adopting. They got an older sister and her younger brother. My friends worked hard to keep them. They ended up finding out that they were pregnant with their first bio son and within a year and my friends and their families advocating for my friends they were able to adopt their foster kids.
Last story is that another husband and wife from the same church had two kids but wanted to foster. They still foster and help with respite when needed. Halfway through their foster journey they had to take a break because they got pregnant with their surprise daughter and once she turned around 3 they re started. But still have no intent of adopting.
I REALLY love this series! I don’t know if you’ll even see this bad if you do, even read it.. but I was a foster care child from 2008-2014 when I aged out of the system (from 12-18). To put it briefly the reason I was placed in foster care was because of my father, I went through SA (abbreviation for a type of abuse, I don’t want to be flagged or reported to RUclips). And my mom worked A LOT, 3 jobs. My father was a POS basically. He was a state trooper who worked nights. He was a VERY amazing “smooth talker” and somehow he talked my mom into him “homeschooling us”.. it was more like we taught ourselves (I have an older sister and younger brother) while he slept, played video games, and drank all day. I’m not sure why but my sister was the princess, she ALWAYS got all his good attention and anything she wanted. My brother was physically abused and I was SA’d, as I said honestly to this day I can’t even say when it started my first concrete memory of abuse was when I was 5, but I don’t know when it started honestly. Anyway, Finally I had enough and I sent an email to the director of the homeschool I was enrolled in and I told them what was happening. So little did I know the officers that would come to our home were from my father barracks. They tried telling me “oh your dad didn’t REALLY hurt you.. he just doesn’t give you enough attention and you’re upset by that” or “you’re homeschool and lonely and you’re making up this story to get attention from someone and anyone.” Which was true! I was so broken and regretted saying anything! It’s a long long story but he got away with it all. The state police didn’t want “bad press” so they told my father he could retire honorably with his pension or fight it and probably go to jail. He took the ladder option. My love was ruined and he got a pat on the shoulder and a “wag of the finger” basically. Foster care was hell. I remember the first home I was in.. the had 2 adult children and the one was a BTCH. She would “talk to me” and ask if my dad “REALLY ever touched because she said that she talked to my sister and my sister said our dad would NEVER do what I “claimed””. And I told her she was “nosey and to not talk to me and that she was right, my sister, he would never do that … TO HER! Idk why he never hurt her, and I’m in no way wishing he did! I wouldn’t wish what I went through on ANYONE let alone my own sister!! But I was reminded all the time that my sister was their (my parents’) princess and my brother their prince. My mother never said this to me, just my father. My mom truly never knew what was happening. I mean she swears to me even to this day that she never knew. So I choose to believe her. I was in 11 foster homes total from 12-15.5 years old and one group home from 15.5 to 18 years old. I have MANY stories but the home that was by far the worst was the 5th home I was in.. I was 13. The husband was a sleez ball who tried to touch me once.. I straight out told him I had nothing to lose and I’d “bite him” if you know what I mean.” He called me a “crazy btch” and left me alone, thank god I was only in that home for like 4 months. He’s wife was crazier than he was. They had 4 foster kids total and 2 bio kids. All of us were girls. The bio kids were 7 and 16. The 16 year old was a spoiled brat and the 7 year old was sweet and I felt bad for her because her older sister treated her like crap and would “spank” her if she was bad and smack her. I tried telling the foster mom, their bio mom and she told me to stop being a little trouble maker and mind my own business. She was insane. She liked wine… ALOT. She would buy wine in like the big cardboard boxes and she had a bunch in the kitchen under the cupboards. She’s sometimes wake us (the foster kids) up in the middle of the night and give us each a caddy with cleaning supplies and she’d stand in the kitchen near the sink with her wine and watch us clean. She’d make us scrub the grout in the kitchen with toothbrushes and she’s check it after and if it wasn’t “up to her liking” she’d make us clean it again using only our finger nails. And dusting.. I still shiver and gag when I think about it.. if she check the dusting and there was even a SPECK of dust in you assigned area she’d literally take the duster shake some dust off it and put it in a glass of water and make us drink it. She was nuts. Like I said I have endless stories sadly. And unfortunately I stuffed my pain down and went through a REALLY bad path from 19-22, addiction, homelessness, self harm. It was bad and I truly didn’t care if I lived or died. Then I got pregnant with my miracle. My beautiful daughter in 2019. She HANDS DOWN saved my life. The same day I saw those two lines on that test I called every rehab near me.. until I found one to take me same day. I told myself it was one thing if I sent myself to the grave but I wouldn’t be my father.. I’d NEVER hurt my own child, in ANY way! Never looked back on drugs again. She’s everything to me and she saved me in every way imaginable! I had her right before the pandemic, the very end of January 2020. She’ll be 4 this month and since having her our family has grown, I had her little sister the very end of March 2022. Both of my daughters are EVERYTHING to me. They give me purpose and a reason and a want to live each day. My older daughter I owe my life to and will always know she saved me! But both my girls continue to save me each day as they bring me such happiness and joy! And having them makes me even more mad and upset and confused as to how my “father” could have done all the vile shit he’s done to me. And all the stuff he’s don’t to my brother. I’m just really happy now and truly at peace in life. Becoming a mother saved me, I know I keep saying it, but for me it truly was the miracle I need and I’m proud to be their mom! And I will NEVER EVER let them know what it feels like to be harmed by the person who should be loving and protecting you!!
I’m sorry this is so so soooo long… it honestly could be so long as to turn into a lengthy novel! But anyways this video just truly touched a very sensitive part of me and my past that I wish I could heal and fix. But… thank you for this video!!💗
Let me just say, I'm proud of you!🎉❤
I was a foster child throughout the 80s and ranaway (successfully) in 1990 at the age of 15 and a half. I was in 15 placements, I believe, from 12 until I got away. I'm 49 years old now and I know that my childhood shaped how I think, feel and function.
But really, I'm so glad you found your way to healing, found your motivation for a better life. I wish you all the happiness and success you desire.
Wow. This stories in this one broke my heart. Thank you for talking about this topic! I think there needs to be more awareness of the complexities of the foster care system so I appreciate you speaking about this. Also, great job, Peter! What an absolutely incredible human! ❤
21:57 is for the people who came from shorts and it’s about the girl trying to save her food
TYSM!
Rebecca, thank you for making me cry two weeks in a row! I love this series. Please keep them coming.
From conception until I was an adult we ran a foster home for a dozen adult men with disabilities. As a child I grew up with so much empathy and understanding. As an adult I look back and it wasnt just me my father abused. The countless times a limited mobile man "fell from a tree branch, slipped and fell". My father worked at a school for disabilities this was 30-40yrs ago so fire hose showers etc were daily normal there. At 8 my parents were starting divorce process my mom had yearly sister trips to destress. My father was supposed to watch me my baby brother and new born sister and 4 of the 12 foster men. He walked in as soon as she left he raided the fridge took all our food and left me alone for the week to watch grown men a baby and my brother with no food. He blamed me when my mom called him.. i made him feel unwanted. I didn't say anything to him outside excitement he was there. I didn't know that he was not normal as a child. At 10ish my father worked at a homeless teen shelter. Hed take us on quick stop-ins at night to the shelter. Hed have us go in the back and load up his car "for the kids" later i realized he was robbing the donations on donation delivery nights. Growing up i was given a few word hint from him on who I was what I liked etc with new pple to fit his lies he told them usually with women. I was Katy the soccer star, Sarah the theater nerd, Melissa the math and spelling champion Etc. He has a huge following on fb for how spiritual and amazing he is as a social worker. He doesn't tell him he would forge home check-ins for abused kids saying he went in kid was fine. He finally got caught when a kid was found critical chained to a toilet and starved bone thin but Brad was there 6 times that month? He just got a fine and pushed under the rug. He tells his spiritual sheep his children are too wicked to want a relationship hes too pure. None of his kids want anything to do but he is the victim.
I love these, I get so excited when I find out there's a new one. She picks genuinely good ppl, not ppl with big heads. She's just amazing and a wonderful person.
YESSSS please do another one!! I really felt like I was watching two kind, kindred souls talking and I loved it!!
Definitely got me bawling here. These children deserve better. ❤
I was cleaning while listening to this and literally cried the whole time. As a pre-service teacher, your story breaks my heart. That's one of the things I am most terrified of, seeing students who see school as a safe haven because home isn't.
I was a foster kid. My siblings and I rarely had time together and my foster family clearly didn’t want me there and mistrusted me, telling her children that I wasn’t a good kid and that they were not to hang out with me and to keep tabs on me (I was 14). I was well behaved, never got in trouble and had better grades than their own daughter of the same age. I was quiet and depressed and kept a diary that they tried to read but my handwriting was so bad that it was only legible to me. I had no family that would take us in even though I begged and pleaded with them. I aged out and was given no help or services from the state and started working right away. When I turned 26 a social worker contacted me about my younger sisters kids and I got involved as much as possible and when I turned 30 I took custody of her last child, an 8 month old at the time. He’s now 10 (officially adopted in 2019) and I’m grateful every day that I did as I know what my siblings went through in foster care and wouldn’t wish that abuse on my worse enemy. Being a parent is harder than anything you’ll ever do but knowing he will have a better life than I did is better than any gift I could get because it helps heal my inner child and he gets to live with a family that loves and dotes on him 24/7 365. I wouldn’t trade him for all the wealth in the world.
My Aunt was a social worker for almost 40 years, She fostered my foster cousin as a single parent! Thank you for covering a topic so near and dear to our hearts! 🥰
This series really shines a light on issues that aren’t usually seen, I love it ❤
Honestly, this video hit different and made me cry quite a bit, I've never been in foster care, but at one point in time I really wanted to get away from my mom, who at the time would hit me, even if it was never really bad it occasionally left red marks, and only stopped when I told a school counselor at seven years old. My mom is slowly getting better, but we suspect she might have something like dissociative personality disorder. And she refuses to go to therapy, I really love my dad though, and she tends to keep us away from him and neglect the parenting schedule. Currently, I only saw my dad two months after he was in Alaska for two months fishing as a job, and that was around a couple months ago now. So far I've missed Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the winter solstice with him. I really miss my dad, and hope I see him soon, it just hurts being away from the people you really love...
This series just keeps making me cry. My godson is in the foster system and I love y'all's mindset on this. Thank you Peter and all people like you ❤
Thank you for doing what is so vitally needed ❤
I’m in a foster family because my single mom died. I’m traumatised from finding her bloody on the floor and I hate how big the foster familys biological family is. I’m an introvert and I love being alone in my room but my foster parents don’t understand why and are almost concerned that I’m trying to take my life when I’m in my room all day. Don’t get me wrong, I go to school, I go for runs, I love living alone with them in the forest. So it’s not that bad. I just don’t spend all my time with them. I spend hours alone with my thoughts and my creativity can take me anywhere. I write stories, I draw, I love creating my stories with complex characters! But I do it all in the dark cause my mom always encouraged not turning on the lights to save on the electricity bills and I’ve always loved darkness and for some reason I see in the dark WAY better than the average person. So I can draw in the dark without any light but my foster parents think that I’m alone in my dark room with thoughts of suicide. Or murder cause I joke about that but they’ve known me long enough to know that’s just my humour so they’re not worried about that. Anyway, I don’t know why I’m telling my life story to strangers on the internet who didn’t ask so I’ll go back to listening to Katy Perry songs while drawing now.
Light is the brightest in the dark. You keep shining in your own unique way. Follow your passions and through your passions you find your purpose!❤
Former foster kid & eventually adopted out - there’s so much in this video that resonates with me. For context, my sister & I who are white women that were young girls adopted by a single black mom. we had many different background of foster kids through the house over the years. It taught me so much about the different cultures , growing up looking at the world through a different lense. I appreciate Peter & Rebecca’s discussions about diversity within the system, every home looks different.… there’s so much more to my story & so much darkness in the world but glad to see the good apples trying to do right by these kids who just need love, comfort & understanding 🍎❤
Rebecca, I'm so glad that you started this podcast. It said shed so much light on so many different topics. Thank you so much!!
I know this video was posted 2 months ago but I wanted to say that this video is not only informational but very appreciated because as foster youth we go through so much so when people talk about and share our stories is touching. I've been in foster care since I was approximately 8 years old. We're told to advocate for ourselves but 9 times out of 10 no one listens but when we do feel heard/seen we don't know how to respond I'd love to tell you the ins and outs of the foster system from another perspective but this is genuinely appreciated and I hope you continue to share our stories. Love and support always.
My youngest daughter is adopted through Foster Care. I appreciate you doing this. Myoldest daughter is adopted from China. I enjoy this series but this episode makes me cry.
When I was six I was sexually assaulted a least 3 times by my moms friend but then we moved and we didn’t talk to him anymore
But when I was 8 foster care toke me and my brother and sister then we moved again my parents did dr**gs
My sister went to a girls home because she was the oldest me and my brother stayed together we went in the foster home they
Teated us good but you could tell the difference in the way they treated us but thankfully we only stayed there for a year and a half now I’m back with my mom and dad with my brother and sister 😊
The story of the adopted boy getting left at the doctor's just breaks my heart because I have an adopted teen about that age and we adopted nearly a decade ago. I cannot imagine just driving away from that boy after everything they went through. When you adopt, that is your child, full stop. How dare they make a child go through abandonment twice in their short lives?
Adopting is hard. Every kid in the system has a form of trauma and a way they cope with it. They lost their family, that isn't a small thing. Never mind the reason they lost their family being its own trauma. If you adopt, it is your job to be the best parent you can be so they never know that pain again. If you foster, you need to put the kids first every day. They've been through too much for this selfishness. Breaks my heart.
Rebecca, I happened to stumble upon this video chat about the foster care system and decided to listen in on your conversation with your guest Peter Mutabazi. I have to tell you that I became so interested in what you both were saying that I just had to listen all the way through your chat. You always hear of the horrors of the foster care system, but rarely the positive impact that foster care has as well. I was so touched by Peter when he spoke from the heart about his foster children. He made sure that he was not only there to help his foster children get the help and love that they needed, but he also reached out to help the biological parent(s) as well. Peter’s commitment to helping make the transition of reunification a positive one with the best outcome for all involved is truly remarkable. I had a hard time holding back the tears while listening to your heartbreaking stories that you both have experienced first hand. Thank you both for talking openly about the foster care system and helping your viewers to better understand this sensitive topic. God bless both of you and keep up the wonderful work that you are doing! 😊💕👍👏👏🫶💕
my little cousin’s parents were addicts and alcoholics. my parents called CPS cause they thought something was wrong and they told us that somebody else had already called and said that he was walking around at 1 1/2 years old by himself on the sidewalk in a dirty diaper.
when they were interviewed they asked the mom who babysits him when they are out doing drugs and drinking and they said that mickey mouse babysits him
we took him in and when we got him he was super malnourished (like you could see his entire ribcage through his shirt. he was drug tested and it came back positive.
now it’s 3 years later and he is 6 and he is doing amazing. he lives with us at our house
another story is we were at a restaurant one time, and he walked in. me, my sister, my little cousin, and my mom were there. we were almost done eating when he walked in. if my little cousin saw him we were going to let him go hug him but we weren’t going to willingly go up and talk to him. as we were walking out, he stood up and pushed his chair away and yelled REALLY F****** REALLY! my mom before that had already gone out through the door my sister was behind her carrying my little cousin and i was behind my sis. we ran out of there. we thought he was gonna take him. after that i was shaking non-stop. it scared me
sry this was long lol
I have to say some of these stories really hit my heart.. yes I def was crying with y'all. It's just so sad what some of these children have gone through or are going through
I havent watched much from Rebecca lately, but I enjoy Peters shorts every chance i get! So glad to see an interview with him! I was so fascinated. Thank you for the service to our country & our country's orphans, Peter! Thank you for the podcast, Mrs Rogers!
oh my gosh. This sentence: “I want to embrace my dads culture but not deny my own”
We adopted my by blood half sister. my husband and her now dad is Puerto Rican. I feel this so much.
My mom is adopted, my cousin is adopted, 5/7 of my siblings are adopted and my mom has fosters many others and it’s an amazing thing. I love my sisters and brothers so much
It disgusting to think that someone could treat their own flesh and blood like a piece of furniture on the side of the road! No child or former child asks to be born, why should they be treated like their existence is their fault?!?!
Amazing conversation of how he turned the narrative of his life to be a heroic one, a beautiful transformation from trauma.
5 min in and I'm crying! This man is the definition of a hero!!!