"Alex, it was really kind and thoughtful of you to bring the screws in to help the other children dig. Perhaps next time you could share it with me first(the teacher) and we can discuss if this is a good tool for everyone to use or if we could find a safer alternative. It was actually really considerate of you though and I know you didn't mean for anyone to get hurt." Add a kind smile and a gentle touch on the shoulder. Hugs for little Alex and big Alex...moments like that leave a lasting effect and we carry that with us for life. Thank you for sharing your life with us ❤
@Ds92817 🤗💖 It is what I would want to hear too. Maybe we need more teachers that are ADHD/Autistic..they might be more empathetic if they understood kid's experiences.
I agree that sharing the idea with you is a great idea. But the ADHD mind does not work that way, particularly a 5-year-old. A light bulb moment idea to application is pretty much a straight line.
@@spencerdeumer-nt2eu the point of the "comment from the teacher" was more about how Alex was spoken to by his teacher and the long term repercussions it has had and how the teacher could have spoken to Alex instead. Maybe next time his straight line would have been to the teacher because she was a safe place to share his light bulb moments
@@gryphc3860 You are absolutely right and it was handled very well. I did miss the next time part of your comment. I am sure he would understand that this is the better path to take and for me to read a little more carefully. It is all in the details. Thank you for clearing up my misunderstanding.
Alex, congratulations on your success increasing ADHD awareness. You say you want to help a "young Alex". Just letting you know that you have helped a 72 year old Alex. When I was 70, before I knew I had ADHD, I spent 6 months drafting and redrafting my values statement. Journaling, becoming more self-aware and being true to yourself are crucial for crafting a better ADHD life.
WOW I just had a revelation about my mother (who has undiagnosed ADHD), that while me and my brother were growing up my mother always explained situations and generally was very detailed about situations (good or bad). Now as I was listening to Alex's earliest memory of the teacher scolding him and how he now feels how the teacher should have handled it, I realised that my mother always did right by us because she did explain situations and had conversation with us rather than exploding and raging and been mad about the matter at hand no matter how serious the situation was, she always explained and viewed the situation through the point of view of us kids and then explained what went wrong and what are the consequences of our actions and how we should behave moving forward in the future. I owe my mom a HUGE thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@lynnbishop9493 I send her the screenshot right after posting and she replied: "Thank you dear and I did what I wished would have been done when I myself was a child. So when I became a mother, wanted to do things differently and explain. I was very frustrated and annoyed as a child, when my mother refused to explain things and situations to me, so I knew how it felt to be that child. I didn't want you or your brother to feel that way."
I can't ever explain/describe to anyone what I go through daily. I just want to make my family watch this. When I was first diagnosed, as an adult, I told my closest friends. They confirmed that they saw me as "quirky" and said it also cleared up, for them, why I act the way I do sometimes. Now, years later and after sustaining a brain injury, I live on the edge of my "tipping chair" unsure if my meds are failing me or if the TBI is winning. Where I live, there are no professionals that understand to help me. This vid allowed me to exhale for a moment. Thank you so much.
@@ADHD_Chatter_Podcast No, thank you so very much. I try to use, if I remember, some of your verbiage to describe things. Also on top of all the issues from the accident and three years of not remembering to take my meds, I'm also being stalked/harassed by a neighbour, which is incredibly stressful. I realize that stress will negate the effects of my meds but I continue to take them. I've had to go back and edit my comment a few times. Whilst writing it, my brain was trying to choose from 3 sentence style deliveries for each sentence and kept getting them mixed up. lol
Definitely start watching lots of videos on keto/high fat carnivore to heal your brain. Dr Annette Bosworth helped a woman with Down’s syndrome which is amazing! Dr Georgia Eade’s and Chris Palmer Dr Ken Berry, Anthony Chaffee etc For success stores Dave Mac No Carb Life and Kerry on Homestead How. It will seep in and inspire you and give you back some hope ❤ and pray too for a strength beyond your own strength 🙏
I first suspected I had ADHD at the age of 66 and was diagnosed at the age of 67. This podcast has given me the first really helpful constructive information on managing and accepting my ADHD. I’ve watched your previous podcasts but this tops them all. I particularly will start journaling and developing ofmy self awareness and trusting your gut pausing on ideas and recognising achievement are my new tool kit interviewer is amazing too. Congratulations on your book. I’ve had comments from family friends which have tried to normalise ADHD and that has magnified my sense of being invalid and increased my sense of isolation and anxiety . Before and since diagnoses I have tried many strategies to neutralise my behaviour with virtually very little impact on how I feel. Now I can begin to accept myself and to work towards a kinder more understanding / forgiving me.
Same ❤ 'friends' want me to get 'treatment for my illness' i said im not ill & feel loads better knowing the way I am is not my fault. When i first found Alex on social media, it was like a light bulb when he said 'you are not broken, you are just different' was the best medicine ever. In past was only offered anti depressants which i refused because i KNEW i wasnt depressed. Anxious yes, very anxious. I live in Turkey & they are far behind with ADHD in adults than the UK. I asked my friend in UK to order Alex book for me, she said i have already bought it for you as a surprise birthday gift for next month ❤ been my friend since we were 11 yrs old we are 55 now so knows me better than anyone & always listens to the details & allows me to go off track because she knows i will get there if she sticks with it. I know alot of people through work but i have very few friends but thats ok, you only need friends that accept you & love you for who u are xx thankyou Alex for championing older women. I feel so much better about me & my 'quirky' ways x sorry for long reply 😬
Listening at 12;45am and hearing Alex was 36 at diagnosis. I'm 60, been on the waiting list since May 2022 and told it will be another 12 months before diagnosis for me. So I'll be 61. 36 sounds so young to me. Alex is right about dogs. They are such a tonic! Wouldn't be without mine. Thank you for this video Alex. A lot I can identify with.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Alex, for all your work, and especially for the courage to tell your own story with such unapologetic honesty. It encourages me to tap into my own shame and look at things which induce it from a different perspective. Your podcast is my best buddy in my own journey of a late diagnosed woman, and it inspires me to turn my ADHD to my advantage.
I dealt with the same type of things but I also had physical abuse sexual abuse severe PTSD become disabled in early twenties and lived in poverty 😢it's amazing ya just never know the course your life will take and all ya do is live without the mental and physical suffering just trying to survive every single day 🙏 it's hard in any relationships and even in a relationship with yourself😢 grateful you talk openly about this because I know it helps me and I know it helps a lot of others thank you❤
I was library kid to avoid others too. At 53 I think I still am tbh the adult, workplace equivalent …go to my car for breaks!! I still feel weird but since my diagnosis last year I’ve found peace with it…and no longer feel the need to mask as much. I’m proud ADHD now I know 🥰 This podcast was actually the driving force in me getting a diagnosis, so thankyou Alex ❤ Funny thing about the dog and ADHD….I,ve had huskies for a couple of decades and I realise now they definitely have ADHD. attention span of a gnat! Explains why I relate to them so much and how their whole behaviour is in tune with mine 😂
As a 50 yr old woman I have related to so much of the content I’ve been able to watch thus far. I am not diagnosed and it wasn’t until about 3 yrs ago it was mentioned but I literally didn’t think too much of it. I really don’t recall how I even gave your content a listen 😂 I did and I’ve paused to write this as your talking about undiagnosed women being such a high percentage. For me just what I’ve learned so far from your content but also from listener’s comments has me at a pause/relief/understood/seen in my true self. I for one instance distinctively remember not having friends not because I wasn’t outgoing or wanted to talk but more for the reason like on the inside I felt like an outsider that I couldn’t relate to what they were interested in, cared about, things the did for fun and conversation. I longed to have a close friend/s a relationship so I could hang out, go to sleepovers or the mall. I found that when I was around others it didn’t feel real, now what I know masking trying to be whatever they were, but inside it didn’t feel genuine for me doing that and I didn’t want to be what I would feel as “fake”. I often felt uncomfortable on the inside and many times couldn’t say no outloud, and so ended up doing some things that didn’t align with my true nature. I still to this day cannot be anything but genuine and won’t force myself to be something I’m not, if I do think that then I will usually just not say anything. I am very in tune to my intuition, always have and honestly I know we are all born with that but I have come to realize this is a shared thing and I can feel much at ease that I’m not an “outlier”. ❤ it really does feel good inside/relief. There really is so much more I’ve connected from as far as I can remember until now and I am now determined to see this through so I may continue my growth path which I was already funny enough on already. Thank you for having the courage/focus to follow what you felt needed to be done. Oh and I also have tons of talk or sitting with something inside my head before I do whatever is in my head. Not always but I do with some things.
I am 36 and got diagnosed last week … it never been OCCURRED to me I might have it until a month ago… and yet, in retrospect, it pretty much describes everything I’m great at and everything I’ve ever struggled with. Your content has been a godsend. Thank you so much. I am so excited for this newfound self awareness. Big ups sir 🫡🙏😊
Alex thank you so much for not only telling the stories of other ADHD'ers, but also your own. Your bright and lovely attitude and passion for these people can be heard in every word and conversation you have. Tommorow after 27 years of walking ( read: sprinting) trough life undiagnosed, im going to a doctor to see if i can get a diagnoses. From not being able to keep a job longer than a year, fighting alcoholism and even worse for me, weed addiction, always being the akward joke guy that won't now when to stop, living in the chaos, in my head and everything else from my car to my closet, and so so much more. All i want to say, is thank you, for making people like us/me feel seen, and trying to convice us we are not stupid
You have articulated all of the reasons for my constant fuckery,in the most clear and concise way! What a gift! I want to send this to everyone who misunderstands me.Thank you Alex, from a 56 year old girl who was feeling so lonely and confused. I’m now able to be kind and loving toward my 7 year old self, she was enough❤
Loved listening to your experiences. Thank you for sharing them. I love what you said about working environments for neurodiversity as I’ve always struggled integrating into any kind of environment where there’s an expectation of me to think quickly, work typically, and socialise. As a result I’ve always been self-employed in a job I don’t really enjoy anymore (it was fun setting it up). I’m one of your 85% audience as a late diagnosed woman, although I first suspected I had ADD in my mid-20s. I was diagnosed around the same time as you in 2022, and while it was a relief to finally have answers, I haven’t moved forward much. I have a need to help people, just like you, just like many ADHDers, but I’m completely stuck and I know many of us feel like this. I have no ‘tribe’ or guidance so continue to struggle in the life that I’ve made with my neurotypical husband. I want to get out of this (not my marriage) but without paying a fortune for this help I solely rely on podcasts like yours. This episode has given me some comfort and inspiration, as they always do, so thank you very much. I’ve also just started listening to your book (congratulations!) but I’ve not listened to much so can’t comment yet, although I’m certain it’s going to be great! Thank you so much for all you have done for the ADHD community, especially for women like me, you’re great 😊
I so relate to your experience with that teacher. She didn’t have to indict your entire character; instead, she could have just focused on the act of bringing the screws to school and the consequences (which only points out the mistake you made). I always feel so helpless, humiliated, and infuriated when I am misunderstood that way.
Hi Alex and congratulations for your book! I follow AuDHD community for some time now but only recently I got to listen to your long format interviews. Truth be told, I started binging them all two days ago 😊 They are amazing and so, so helpful ! I'm not a young Alex but a 50 yo self diagnosed AuDHD-er and all your work has helped a lot . I can't but admire the patience you have to sit still and so carefully and lovingly listen to all your wonderful gests. I always laugh how the 5 caffeinated squirrels pop up in almost every edition 😂😂
We all need you Alex. You provide such a spectrum of information, in an authentic, nanced and practcal way. Thank so much for sharing your journey, and your channel🙏
Powerful, inspiring, eye-opening - my traumas were different, but the effects were the same. It’s like someone turned the light on, the fog has lifted, I now understand why. And I’m almost 72! But at least I can live the rest of my life as myself, now that I finally know where I belong. Thank you so much Alex, I don’t know if I could be brave enough, you are helping so many people. Really looking forward to reading your book. Please keep on sharing - it really helps.
I'm a late diagnosed lady of 57! I was officially diagnosed last November. You described spot on about how anxiety feels for me daily! I've only ever known an anxious me since childhood. I had my first panic attack at age 6 too! Didn't know what it was though. Thought I was going bonkers! Didn't tell anyone about it as my family would have told me to get a grip and don't talk soft!!! It's only after my recent adhd diagnosis that everything has started to fall into place. I just wish it hadn't taken so long to find out though that I'm neurodivergent. ❤
Your podcast is the only one that I ever give my time to. I think you are brilliant Alex and I honestly cannot thank you enough for the knowledge I have gained from your podcast. You have helped me to understand not only myself, but my youngest son also. Thank you 💚💚
My gosh - my son has mentioned nearly everything you comment on. He is now 21. You book is going to be amazing for us parents of ADHD kids - because we didnt get a manual on how to handle this/help/when to do something and when to leave it etc. Thank you for all that you have done.
Discovering to have ADHD at a later age started me to dive into these conversations. Its hard to discover and explain what is going on your own, but hearing these things are such eye openers. A lot of things fall into place now and I recognise so much! Especially the part of having to sit in a classroom and be quite while you have all this creative and entrepreneurial energy rushing through your body. I also have the suffering when having to do something you really dont want to do and having time crawl by second by second. Thank you for opening up!
Thank you Alex for being super candid about your diagnosis as well as process. I think I just had my eureka moment - simplify but in our own way. I started a RUclips channel months ago about contextualizing hard concepts within visual design to make them more approachable to anyone that wants to give them a go. I in turn made it harder for me to explain everything. Simplifying the route to an answer is where i need to approach it differently than I had. Steps are one thing, but really fundamentally making a change of how I process the intense processes to actually achieve greatness is what I need to portray. For me, these heavy concepts are very easy, but I know they're obviously not for someone just searching them on YT. Anyway, THANK YOU for your responses, your help has reached me, even though I'm not a young'n... probably older than you, but that doesn't matter. I've always tried to do everything, much like everyone else here.
Alex!!! this morning i went to make a appointment with my doctor to finally get it on paper i am 45 years old always know i have dyslectic ADHD and autism. Because of all this beautiful people sharing there story especial the one of "Jessie Mei Li " i can relate to her story so much.....thanks a lot for this stories the help me (us) a lot!!!! PS: next good thing for us ADHD spectrum is a dedicated dating side i think it will be the best for people like us (friends or romantic) a place of no masks. and YES the best medication is a comfort animal, For you your dog Marlo, so funny for me its my best friend Marlay my cat i love him so much, i even get him some cats lol i have my cat Marlay and he have 5 cats🐱🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈, man i am so happy i have find your channel it will help us finally tell ower story to the world, and this will give us a place to be finally feel at ease and accepted, keep up the good work ALEX!!!!
It is soothing and reassuring; pushing away that impostor shouting so often from inside making you feel so inadequate and so scared. Thank you, Alex! I love your podcasts!
PS it was THAT quote from your book when i heard on IG(?) that knocked the wind out of me and brought me to my knees, tears, and ADHD Chatter. Thank you!
I’ve been watching your videos for about a year and catching up on all the earlier episodes. Sometimes I need to take a break from them,too much identification and too often moved to tears. In the process however, I’ve rebuilt the courage to approach my doctor for a referral to the mental health team. Last time during a two minute “interview” I was scoffed at and told I probably had generalised anxiety disorder and they couldn’t help anyway because I had admitted to using cannabis. I stopped that in August, suffered terrible anxiety and depression and I’m now on Fluoxetine which is greatly helping. Your podcast has given me the determination to try again and helped me understand the sense of rejection and gaslighting I felt. I’m retired after 40 years of nursing and I’m so disappointed at some of the mental health practitioners. I wanted never to go near them again and at nearly 64 I didn’t see any point. Now, I don’t care how long it takes I’m going to pursue a diagnosis. After a lifetime of being “wrong” I want to salvage my last stage of life. You didn’t underestimate the damage that gets done by undiagnosed ADHD, I’d be ashamed to share my disasters. I’m conscious that I’m over sharing even here in this safe space, but I wanted you to know how much you’ve helped us older women who have been too much and not enough all our lives. Thanks for putting yourself in the spotlight and another great interview xx
I think it’s great what you have shared Norah, it’s meant a lot to me and really moved me. I resonate with you so much although I’m just 29, still feel like a child and don’t have nearly as much life experience, but everything you said it felt like it was me saying it. From the cannabis, to the mental health practitioner experience, to what you were saying about sometimes needing a break from these video because, although very informative and inspirational, can be emotionally draining and overwhelming for me. I also have always felt like a walking disaster, leaving a trail of destruction in my wake, making a big mess of my life, but I’m trying to turn things around. I’m sorry you struggled for a time in life before, but thanks so much for sharing. I really look up to your resolve and determination to continue to pursue medical support despite having an unfortunate experience Wishing you an amazing retirement and sending love from Ireland! Lauren
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 laughing and crying and anxiously awaiting your book i pre-ordered to drop into my audible account on Thursday ❤ thank you so much for all of this, Alex!
I'm another undiagnosed adhd, possibly autistic, 37 year old woman to listen to your podcast. my part 1 of 2 assessments is this Wednesday and I'm so nervous. x it will change my life to have a diagnosis after years of struggles and unknowns. it really stood out when you talked about the percentage of women who attempt to take their lives with adhd. my sister in law took her life just a few months ago and she was just diagnosed with adhd about 2 years ago. she was 40. I wish she had known how much I could relate to her if she had just given me the chance to talk to her. 💔
Thanks Alex for doing these videos, it does help people. Lot of people will realise the subtlety of the problem and without someone else saying it, slowly noticing it within them, the chatter or noise that messes up their lives which is no one's fault but genetics at play.
I was diagnosed with depression lurks anxiety would seemingly recover enough to function then crash again. It was an ongoing cycle. Now though I have an explanation abs am learning to love myself and treat myself kindly
Thank you for bringing Milo. He should be there all the time. My dog has been THE single most calming, only consistant part of the last 10 years that have been the most chaotic of my 58 yr life as a single mom tenuously launching 2 early-diagnosed (my greatest accomplishment) young ADHD adults into the world (college and Military). If there were one thing I wished for, it wld be to have my dog at my 8-5 never- ending-mind-numbing day job where I cannot see daylight and earn about 25% of what I'm worth and my ideas are not understood or valued. How did you stop drinking?
As someone with undiagnosed ADHD, I really appreciate you sharing your story, Patridge, especially your experiences in the workplace. I took notes on the suggestions you mentioned for creating a less stressful environment for employees with ADHD (for quick reference): • Offer flexible start times and share meeting agendas in advance. • Provide written minutes or follow-ups, as verbal instructions may not always stick. • Allow a grace period (e.g., 1 hour to 24 hours) for employees to process problems and come up with solutions. • Encourage movement in the office, such as walking breaks. • Consider holding walking meetings. • Avoid requesting “quick chats” without providing context beforehand. For me, the lack of such support is what makes even a remote 7-4 schedule unbearable at times
48:22 this section spoke to me. I was diagnosed with adhd at 36 years old. Undiagnosed adhd has been damaging to my self esteem. I can relate to the thought “you’re broken”, so you need to adjust your personality to try and fix the broken bits. Don’t understand who you are, because focusing so much on what you are not. This leading to trouble w boundaries and how to determine what your expectable lines are.
Alex, could you please make a shortish and comprehensive video guide to help the partners and family members of someone who has ADHD. So that those around them will have a deeper understanding of how to interact with them and to appreciate the difficulties and triggers leading to stress on both sides of the equation.. im struggling to get my wife to sit through tens of hours of your amazing content just to accidentally encounter key areas... thanks
just a tip that might help is the youtube CLIP feature, find it behind the 3 dots with 'save'. I've found it really handy for this. you can make them private, name the CLIP...unsure if you can put them into a playlist. bear in mind my wife left me, despite this feature. but it might help!
Awesome interview Alex. You are such a full-on communicator I struggle to keep up. You also took a full two hours! Well done. 😊 I was diagnosed at 57, about two nd a bit years ago. I have long covid and that has exasperated my ADHD symptoms severely, causes anxiety and major life changes, so anything that gives me an understanding of my state of mind is a God send. That's you Alex, thank you very much.
Wish i could relate. Diagnosed 10 years ago and now live like a hermit, painfully aware of how utterly unreliable and impulsive i am. Before, I'd bumbled along using tomorrow as a buffer for the daily f ups. Now there is no tomorrow cos i know nothing is gonna change, just a ceaseless awareness of the dysregulation and impulsivity. It turned the furure from possibility (as illusory as it was) to a life sentence and , incidentally, one that the state clearly gives no credance or care to. Still, it is soothing to a depressed mind that others are getting on ❤
Yeah, you're not stuck in that you just think you are. See a professional specializing in adult ADD. There are meds & also other coping strategies. You're not broken you're neurodivergent. You're built different but I suspect you already know that. ADD people are seldom stupid. Much success w your life. 😊
Thank goodness schools have changed so much over the years and teachers are now much more aware of the signs to look out for in children that indicate they might be neurodiverse - my sons school started to raise the possibility with us when my son was in reception - my exhusband refused to have him referred as he didn't want my son labelled but the school put lots of things in place to help my son anyway like weighted blankets- wiggle cushions fidget toys - 5 min jumping session on the trampolin - walks around the playground during lessons if he's struggling to concentrate, the latest one is velcroing all his stuff to the desk as he's constantly loosing things 😂 Thankfully at the age of 7 his dad has agreed to have him referred for assessment but I'm.99.9 sure he has it and it just makes me love him even more - children with ADHD need extra patience, love & kindness both at home and school.
I tried to encourage my family to watch some eye opening episodes so they understand the neurodiverse population and me but sadly there is no appetite to sit through one hour and we have been told WE have attention deficit
TIMO! I thought you said TEMU!! Shopping never helps my ADHD. I get home with the gear, put the bag down and it might sit there for 2 weeks or 2 months before I empty it! Dogs are very intuitive and read our body language very well. My dog is also a huge empath. So having a dog has also been a great benefit to me too.
This was so helpful to me to better understand my friend with ADHD. Much easier to not be mad at him when he disappears for years at a time. I finally see that it’s not me.
One of the punishments given to me (under the age of ten) was to sit in a chair for two hours while the rest of my siblings raced about playing . Torture. Had to sit because next level was the belt. All my adult life I struggle enormously sitting for any task (except in hyper focus) any admin/paperwork feels like a literal punishment as a 55 y/o.
My torture was nose in the corner.😅 The lack of stimuli plus other stuff going on that I couldn't see/process was horrible. 30 minutes in the corner felt like years. I think I preferred the belt, it was painful but over with quickly.
30:30 For anyone like me who heard Alex's self awareness questions, thought that's great and immediately forgot them they were: What happened today that made me: -Sad? -Happy? -What felt challenging? -What felt easy?
The memories of shame situations, that hount you. What do you do when they are flooding in? What do you start to do or to think about? (I just want to hear any precise example of what works for someone else. I will try to use it too.) Your hand petting your dog as fast as your brainwaves were going... My hand does the same when I listen attentively. At the end, great that your friend was there.
After working in a school myself in my older years and seeing the children from a staff perspective, I recognised so many situations from my own experiences when younger. However I tackled situations which were dangerous with questions to children, what could happen if we did this? what should we do instead? if this happened to you how would you feel or do you think you could be injured by accident. Its a way to enhance their thinking skills I feel without insulting them and find their own answers and they are usually the best way to avoid accidents. I remember a distinct moment in school as a child, where some girls were pushing in the queue and then people were complaining about it in the queue, the teacher came and said no one is going for lunch until they admit who it was. To me in my brain I wanted lunch desperately so I put up my hand and I knew the routine of you will be put to back of queue but at least it made us all go inside the hall for lunch. I remember the girls asking me why I put my hand up, and I said I wanted to get lunch and I was instantly called weird. I already knew I was not fitting in or able to keep and make new friends. School reports kept saying back in the day that staff kept trying to put me in groups to make friends but I was not interested. Noise on playground was awful holding a conversation was too hard to focus on. Library was my sanctuary.
I got diagnosed with ADD at the age of 13. Was on rilatine and concerta for 10 years till I got my bsc in cs. Now at 31 I life without it. Sadly anxiety especially when it comes to potential relationships is still there.
I swear our cat has ADHD instead of autism. He's hyperactive, in your face, talking a lot and gets bored from eating the same food, so we need to have 4 varieties for him. But he also is very demanding of attention, especially when I'm stressed, he tries to keep me sane 😊 It's an Abyssinian
@ i agree but i think its both, i find my cat sometimes in the autism mode "not giving a F*ck" even when i show him his favorite toy, just sitting there looking just true me. lol
So interesting to hear your story. I have liked many UNILAD and LADbible videos on Facebook, and had no idea you founded those. What do the company names mean? Is LAD an acronym for something? I've been really enjoying your podcast for several months. Your description of how to spot a woman with ADHD fits me to a T, and your description of working a 9 to 5 job remind me a lot of myself, and many things your guests say resonate very much for me, though I do not have a diagnosis of ADHD, at least not yet. I started researching ADHD because I suspected my 33 year old son has it, and was surprised to find how many of the traits fit me too, different from him but I've had decades to learn strategies and systems to function well and mask, while he is really struggling, and his emotional dysregulation tends to go to anger and his impulsivity causes him more problems than my sadness or anxiety do. I grew up with the label Gifted, and am only recently learning that there are common downsides to that which aren't often acknowledged, like social awkwardness and perfectionism. I always felt I didn't fit in, and was attracted to people who I sensed were somehow misfits like I felt I was, very creative people, somehow unusual people. I have experienced depression, anxiety, insomnia, and I was diagnosed as bipolar 2 for awhile but my latest psychiatrist told me he thought that was a misdiagnosis, that my manic episode didn't actually meet the criteria and probably wouldn't have happened if not for being on antidepressants. I was on lithium for several years, and I spent years being afraid of my enthusiastic, super-productive good moods thinking they were hypomania and might get out of control into full blown mania, when now I think they were hyperfocus. No psych meds since 2020 and doing fine, but in a bit of a journey of self-discovery as a recent retiree. I functioned well in school and work, but tend to be a loner and have trouble maintaining friendships or deepening friendships and am ambivalent about relationships with men since I've never had a good one, but I have fortunately found a few people who seem to be my tribe with whom I can pick back up where we left off after long gaps. I also knew I was an INFJ on the Myers-Briggs personality type since high school, and a few years ago found out about Highly Sensitive People, and figured out I am a High Sensation Seeking HSP. And I've been learning that many traits I have and my son have could also be attributed to cPTSD. Not really sure if I need a diagnosis at this point in my life, but it's been helpful to hear about other people with similar characteristics and how they deal and hopefully learn to work with their strengths and not get too bogged down by their challenges. Journaling, creative outlets, mindfulness, and education are helpful for me.
When someone says “ why are so awkward “ , why can’t you just reply now “ it’s because I have ADHD and I find these situations awkward and questions like that very rude “ . I will say that in future to people who say stuff like this to me
Sadly, I am afraid if I were to get the app you are selling I'll forget I am paying for it and I'll never open it because there's too many icons on my phone so it's probably like 8 pages deep. Just another reason to feel shame when my partner looks at the bank statement 6 months from now and asks, what's THIS app you've probably never opened except to pay for it???? Nothing works, but I really enjoy your show & quick clips. BTW, I really can relate to your childhood trauma. I don't remember most of my childhood, but I'm told there must have been some type of major trauma in my youth and it's why I have very few memories. I thought about getting hypnotized by a therapist to recall some of my youth, but I'm now afraid of what I find out. Like there's a reason I can't remember and it's not just because I have ADHD.
HEY ALEX HOPE YOU’RE WELL , I CANT WAIT TILL THURSDAY 🎊❤️📚 EDIT : IN MY OPINION YOUR TEACHER WAS VERY COLD , UNCARING & INEXPERIENCED , THEY SHOWED NO SIGNS OF COMING DOWN TO MEET YOU @ YOUR LEVEL & LOOKING @ WHAT YOU DID FROM A CHILDS PERSPECTIVE & HAD THEY DONE SO THEY WOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR GENIUS & THOUGHTFUL IDEA FOR WHAT IT WAS … TRULY AMAZING & CREATIVE PROBLEM SOLVING FOR A YOUNG CHILD , WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRAISED FOR THAT & THEN BEEN TAUGHT SECONDARILY WITH KINDNESS WHY THE SCREWS WERE NOT IDEAL DUE TO SAFETY REASONS , BUT APPLAUDED FOR YOUR PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS … SO UNTIL I GET A TIME MACHINE TO RIGHT SO MANY WRONGS & UNDO SO MUCH DAMAGE : TO THE YOUNG CONFUSED & UPSET LITTLE ALEX , WELL DONE YOU FOR COMING UP WITH THAT IDEA ✨👏 THAT IS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC PROBLEM SOLVING & SHOWING YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT EVERYONE NOT JUST YOURSELF WHICH IS EVER SO KIND OF YOU & THOUGHTFUL & NEVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE BECAUSE YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE & YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ENOUGH 💛
THATS BETTER , IVE REWRITTEN THAT SOOOOOO MANY TIMES , TWEAKING IT UNTIL IT WAS WHAT ALL ( DIFFERENT NOT BROKEN ) CHILDREN SHOULD HEAR / OUR YOUNGER SELVES SHOULD HAVE HEARD 😔👭🏻👨🏻🤝👨🏾💕👧🏼👦🏽🧒🏻💕🌎🌠🙏💕
My daughter has ADHD and recently found out autism as well she very smart girl . Being dyslexic myself and I probably have adhd as well as when we was doing assessment my husband was this is you Michelle . I haven’t listen to all of podcast yet but will later and most likely comment again . Anxiety both myself and daughter has I think mine is from long past in childhood with nasty teachers in primary school. Daughter is more new things or doing something new
These things really stick in your mind don’t they ? The RSD reaction is like a knife through the heart ..A teacher once told me in front of the whole class that my hair was a mess and needed a comb put through it … I was horrified, I think I was about 9 or 10 .. I wanted to be a ballet dancer I was obsessed but my parents didn’t ever let me have a lesson , instead they made me have piano , violin and guitar lessons all of which I hated!
I was diagnosed 4 years ago and started to studdy again. Motivated by the hope to get the degree to be able to help other Adults with ADHD to make their life easier! 🍀🥳🤩😍 So if you are looking for someone from Austria to talk to, I would be super proud to do that! 🫣😅😂🤩🍀 By the way… I thought I couldn‘t like your Podcastmore than I already did and then you brought your Franchie with you! 🍀😍🥳 We got one as well, called Rocky and he is our absolute lifesafer!
Im going tommorow to the doctor for a diagnoses, i hope it will help me like it did so many others. Happy it helped with your study! I just started one a half year ago and i need help with this shit bad 😂
Honestly, I don't see how one could be ADHD (undiagnosed) and even called "weird" without ever being bullied. For me, being bullied since elementary school was the foundation of everything and who I became before getting diagnosed in 2020. That, along with the state-mandated competency tests and national tests, I remember starting by third grade. It told me that when I grew up, I'd be packing boxes in a factory. So, I find it hard to believe that undiagnosed ADHD had no consequences of bullying.
How do we influence change for the next and future generations? Experiencing this personally as a parent with a 9 year old child who has had a significant experience which has led to diagnosis my worry is that there is no teaching and learning about this with student teachers, little training for teachers/educators and therefor no change. In my experience teachers are so keen to support our young people who are struggling but without mandatory learning around these issues feel very ill equipped?
Hi Alex. The first video short of yours I ever saw, after viewing it, I said, "I feel seen!" Since then, I've been diagnosed. I'm in my 60's. Better late than never! Hey, I have a question that you may be able to add to the Washing Machine of Woes. I'd love to know what one of the experts thinks. I seem to have an aversion to *finishing* projects. I'll get a project 95% done, and then not do the last 5% to take it to the finish line. This doesn't feel like I'm simply getting bored with them. It's more like I don't want to take them off the "doing" list and put them on the "done" list. It feels like a loss of some sort, like I might run out of projects. (Which is preposterous; for the record, I have more projects than I can finish in my lifetime! And I *love* knowing that they're there.) I am aware that this might be because "done" doesn't give me a dopamine hit like it would for neurotypical folks, so perhaps there's less motivation to reach "done." But why the aversion to it? I assume it's an ADHD thing, but what's the mechanism? Mind you, I do get some projects done, but they're typically very short projects that I can finish in a couple of hours.
Great Britain doesn’t as a whole recognise ADHD very well they are better than France but they do pride themselves on having lower diagnosis levels that’s Australian and the USA. BUT they had whole schools for kids with dyslexia and sooooo many dyslexic kid also have ADHD so they were treating the problem but not finding the source.
The irony is that asking a stranger why they are awkward creates an awkward situation. Is not a kind word to use. I hope they meant it to ask about his wellbeing and that it just came out wrong…. Or at least that they learned from it since.
To the topic of superpower: Even being fully functional and even grean there will always come times when it all crashes down on me and there is no super left. It is an illusion while riding the wave.
Your story of the screws has the element of people hanging incorrect motivations or intentions to your behavior or action. I run into that a lot. Due to masking I think people find it difficult to figure us out. They are left with drawing conclusions based on their experiences with people like we strive to be.
"Alex, it was really kind and thoughtful of you to bring the screws in to help the other children dig. Perhaps next time you could share it with me first(the teacher) and we can discuss if this is a good tool for everyone to use or if we could find a safer alternative. It was actually really considerate of you though and I know you didn't mean for anyone to get hurt." Add a kind smile and a gentle touch on the shoulder. Hugs for little Alex and big Alex...moments like that leave a lasting effect and we carry that with us for life. Thank you for sharing your life with us ❤
This is so good, I hope and pray my kids teachers will be like you. Thanks for taking the time to write this x
@Ds92817 🤗💖 It is what I would want to hear too. Maybe we need more teachers that are ADHD/Autistic..they might be more empathetic if they understood kid's experiences.
I agree that sharing the idea with you is a great idea. But the ADHD mind does not work that way, particularly a 5-year-old. A light bulb moment idea to application is pretty much a straight line.
@@spencerdeumer-nt2eu the point of the "comment from the teacher" was more about how Alex was spoken to by his teacher and the long term repercussions it has had and how the teacher could have spoken to Alex instead. Maybe next time his straight line would have been to the teacher because she was a safe place to share his light bulb moments
@@gryphc3860 You are absolutely right and it was handled very well. I did miss the next time part of your comment. I am sure he would understand that this is the better path to take and for me to read a little more carefully. It is all in the details. Thank you for clearing up my misunderstanding.
Alex, congratulations on your success increasing ADHD awareness. You say you want to help a "young Alex". Just letting you know that you have helped a 72 year old Alex. When I was 70, before I knew I had ADHD, I spent 6 months drafting and redrafting my values statement. Journaling, becoming more self-aware and being true to yourself are crucial for crafting a better ADHD life.
This is truly very moving to read, thank you 💚
💚💚💚
WOW I just had a revelation about my mother (who has undiagnosed ADHD), that while me and my brother were growing up my mother always explained situations and generally was very detailed about situations (good or bad). Now as I was listening to Alex's earliest memory of the teacher scolding him and how he now feels how the teacher should have handled it, I realised that my mother always did right by us because she did explain situations and had conversation with us rather than exploding and raging and been mad about the matter at hand no matter how serious the situation was, she always explained and viewed the situation through the point of view of us kids and then explained what went wrong and what are the consequences of our actions and how we should behave moving forward in the future. I owe my mom a HUGE thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
bless you and your mom
I am a mom. Late adhd diagnosis. I am 57 years old now. My kids are grown, I thank you for saying this about your mom🙏
Thank you for sharing this! 💚
Have you told your mom yet...
@lynnbishop9493 I send her the screenshot right after posting and she replied: "Thank you dear and I did what I wished would have been done when I myself was a child. So when I became a mother, wanted to do things differently and explain. I was very frustrated and annoyed as a child, when my mother refused to explain things and situations to me, so I knew how it felt to be that child. I didn't want you or your brother to feel that way."
Anxiety has literally ruled my entire life , hyper vigilance is constant
Yep😢
I can't ever explain/describe to anyone what I go through daily. I just want to make my family watch this. When I was first diagnosed, as an adult, I told my closest friends. They confirmed that they saw me as "quirky" and said it also cleared up, for them, why I act the way I do sometimes. Now, years later and after sustaining a brain injury, I live on the edge of my "tipping chair" unsure if my meds are failing me or if the TBI is winning. Where I live, there are no professionals that understand to help me. This vid allowed me to exhale for a moment. Thank you so much.
Please try carnivore diet. It really improves a lot of things
I can't describe how much I appreciate this comment and your support, thank you 💚
@@ADHD_Chatter_Podcast No, thank you so very much. I try to use, if I remember, some of your verbiage to describe things. Also on top of all the issues from the accident and three years of not remembering to take my meds, I'm also being stalked/harassed by a neighbour, which is incredibly stressful. I realize that stress will negate the effects of my meds but I continue to take them.
I've had to go back and edit my comment a few times. Whilst writing it, my brain was trying to choose from 3 sentence style deliveries for each sentence and kept getting them mixed up. lol
Definitely start watching lots of videos on keto/high fat carnivore to heal your brain.
Dr Annette Bosworth helped a woman with Down’s syndrome which is amazing!
Dr Georgia Eade’s and Chris Palmer
Dr Ken Berry, Anthony Chaffee etc
For success stores Dave Mac No Carb Life and Kerry on Homestead How.
It will seep in and inspire you and give you back some hope ❤ and pray too for a strength beyond your own strength 🙏
I first suspected I had ADHD at the age of 66 and was diagnosed at the age of 67. This podcast has given me the first really helpful constructive information on managing and accepting my ADHD. I’ve watched your previous podcasts but this tops them all. I particularly will start journaling and developing ofmy self awareness and trusting your gut pausing on ideas and recognising achievement are my new tool kit interviewer is amazing too. Congratulations on your book.
I’ve had comments from family friends which have tried to normalise ADHD and that has magnified my sense of being invalid and increased my sense of isolation and anxiety . Before and since diagnoses I have tried many strategies to neutralise my behaviour with virtually very little impact on how I feel. Now I can begin to accept myself and to work towards a kinder more understanding / forgiving me.
Thank you so much. Your support means everything to me 💚
Same ❤ 'friends' want me to get 'treatment for my illness' i said im not ill & feel loads better knowing the way I am is not my fault. When i first found Alex on social media, it was like a light bulb when he said 'you are not broken, you are just different' was the best medicine ever. In past was only offered anti depressants which i refused because i KNEW i wasnt depressed. Anxious yes, very anxious. I live in Turkey & they are far behind with ADHD in adults than the UK. I asked my friend in UK to order Alex book for me, she said i have already bought it for you as a surprise birthday gift for next month ❤ been my friend since we were 11 yrs old we are 55 now so knows me better than anyone & always listens to the details & allows me to go off track because she knows i will get there if she sticks with it. I know alot of people through work but i have very few friends but thats ok, you only need friends that accept you & love you for who u are xx thankyou Alex for championing older women. I feel so much better about me & my 'quirky' ways x sorry for long reply 😬
Listening at 12;45am and hearing Alex was 36 at diagnosis. I'm 60, been on the waiting list since May 2022 and told it will be another 12 months before diagnosis for me. So I'll be 61. 36 sounds so young to me.
Alex is right about dogs. They are such a tonic! Wouldn't be without mine. Thank you for this video Alex. A lot I can identify with.
Have u asked to be referred by your Dr with right to choose, adhd360? U should not be waiting that long x
@emjane74 no. I didn't know about this. I will look into it. Thank you 👍
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Alex, for all your work, and especially for the courage to tell your own story with such unapologetic honesty. It encourages me to tap into my own shame and look at things which induce it from a different perspective. Your podcast is my best buddy in my own journey of a late diagnosed woman, and it inspires me to turn my ADHD to my advantage.
I dealt with the same type of things but I also had physical abuse sexual abuse severe PTSD become disabled in early twenties and lived in poverty 😢it's amazing ya just never know the course your life will take and all ya do is live without the mental and physical suffering just trying to survive every single day 🙏 it's hard in any relationships and even in a relationship with yourself😢
grateful you talk openly about this because I know it helps me and I know it helps a lot of others thank you❤
I was library kid to avoid others too. At 53 I think I still am tbh the adult, workplace equivalent …go to my car for breaks!! I still feel weird but since my diagnosis last year I’ve found peace with it…and no longer feel the need to mask as much. I’m proud ADHD now I know 🥰 This podcast was actually the driving force in me getting a diagnosis, so thankyou Alex ❤
Funny thing about the dog and ADHD….I,ve had huskies for a couple of decades and I realise now they definitely have ADHD. attention span of a gnat! Explains why I relate to them so much and how their whole behaviour is in tune with mine 😂
As a 50 yr old woman I have related to so much of the content I’ve been able to watch thus far. I am not diagnosed and it wasn’t until about 3 yrs ago it was mentioned but I literally didn’t think too much of it. I really don’t recall how I even gave your content a listen 😂 I did and I’ve paused to write this as your talking about undiagnosed women being such a high percentage. For me just what I’ve learned so far from your content but also from listener’s comments has me at a pause/relief/understood/seen in my true self. I for one instance distinctively remember not having friends not because I wasn’t outgoing or wanted to talk but more for the reason like on the inside I felt like an outsider that I couldn’t relate to what they were interested in, cared about, things the did for fun and conversation. I longed to have a close friend/s a relationship so I could hang out, go to sleepovers or the mall. I found that when I was around others it didn’t feel real, now what I know masking trying to be whatever they were, but inside it didn’t feel genuine for me doing that and I didn’t want to be what I would feel as “fake”. I often felt uncomfortable on the inside and many times couldn’t say no outloud, and so ended up doing some things that didn’t align with my true nature. I still to this day cannot be anything but genuine and won’t force myself to be something I’m not, if I do think that then I will usually just not say anything. I am very in tune to my intuition, always have and honestly I know we are all born with that but I have come to realize this is a shared thing and I can feel much at ease that I’m not an “outlier”. ❤ it really does feel good inside/relief. There really is so much more I’ve connected from as far as I can remember until now and I am now determined to see this through so I may continue my growth path which I was already funny enough on already. Thank you for having the courage/focus to follow what you felt needed to be done. Oh and I also have tons of talk or sitting with something inside my head before I do whatever is in my head. Not always but I do with some things.
I am 36 and got diagnosed last week … it never been OCCURRED to me I might have it until a month ago… and yet, in retrospect, it pretty much describes everything I’m great at and everything I’ve ever struggled with.
Your content has been a godsend. Thank you so much.
I am so excited for this newfound self awareness. Big ups sir 🫡🙏😊
Alex thank you so much for not only telling the stories of other ADHD'ers, but also your own. Your bright and lovely attitude and passion for these people can be heard in every word and conversation you have. Tommorow after 27 years of walking ( read: sprinting) trough life undiagnosed, im going to a doctor to see if i can get a diagnoses. From not being able to keep a job longer than a year, fighting alcoholism and even worse for me, weed addiction, always being the akward joke guy that won't now when to stop, living in the chaos, in my head and everything else from my car to my closet, and so so much more. All i want to say, is thank you, for making people like us/me feel seen, and trying to convice us we are not stupid
I love the last line of the introduction. 'Doing all of this so that a younger me can see it and know they're not broken.'
You have articulated all of the reasons for my constant fuckery,in the most clear and concise way! What a gift! I want to send this to everyone who misunderstands me.Thank you Alex, from a 56 year old girl who was feeling so lonely and confused. I’m now able to be kind and loving toward my 7 year old self, she was enough❤
Loved listening to your experiences. Thank you for sharing them.
I love what you said about working environments for neurodiversity as I’ve always struggled integrating into any kind of environment where there’s an expectation of me to think quickly, work typically, and socialise. As a result I’ve always been self-employed in a job I don’t really enjoy anymore (it was fun setting it up).
I’m one of your 85% audience as a late diagnosed woman, although I first suspected I had ADD in my mid-20s. I was diagnosed around the same time as you in 2022, and while it was a relief to finally have answers, I haven’t moved forward much.
I have a need to help people, just like you, just like many ADHDers, but I’m completely stuck and I know many of us feel like this. I have no ‘tribe’ or guidance so continue to struggle in the life that I’ve made with my neurotypical husband. I want to get out of this (not my marriage) but without paying a fortune for this help I solely rely on podcasts like yours.
This episode has given me some comfort and inspiration, as they always do, so thank you very much.
I’ve also just started listening to your book (congratulations!) but I’ve not listened to much so can’t comment yet, although I’m certain it’s going to be great!
Thank you so much for all you have done for the ADHD community, especially for women like me, you’re great 😊
I so relate to your experience with that teacher. She didn’t have to indict your entire character; instead, she could have just focused on the act of bringing the screws to school and the consequences (which only points out the mistake you made). I always feel so helpless, humiliated, and infuriated when I am misunderstood that way.
Hi Alex and congratulations for your book! I follow AuDHD community for some time now but only recently I got to listen to your long format interviews. Truth be told, I started binging them all two days ago 😊 They are amazing and so, so helpful ! I'm not a young Alex but a 50 yo self diagnosed AuDHD-er and all your work has helped a lot . I can't but admire the patience you have to sit still and so carefully and lovingly listen to all your wonderful gests. I always laugh how the 5 caffeinated squirrels pop up in almost every edition 😂😂
We all need you Alex. You provide such a spectrum of information, in an authentic, nanced and practcal way. Thank so much for sharing your journey, and your channel🙏
Thank you so much!
Powerful, inspiring, eye-opening - my traumas were different, but the effects were the same. It’s like someone turned the light on, the fog has lifted, I now understand why. And I’m almost 72! But at least I can live the rest of my life as myself, now that I finally know where I belong. Thank you so much Alex, I don’t know if I could be brave enough, you are helping so many people. Really looking forward to reading your book. Please keep on sharing - it really helps.
I appreciate this so much, thank you 💚
I'm a late diagnosed lady of 57! I was officially diagnosed last November. You described spot on about how anxiety feels for me daily! I've only ever known an anxious me since childhood. I had my first panic attack at age 6 too! Didn't know what it was though. Thought I was going bonkers! Didn't tell anyone about it as my family would have told me to get a grip and don't talk soft!!! It's only after my recent adhd diagnosis that everything has started to fall into place. I just wish it hadn't taken so long to find out though that I'm neurodivergent. ❤
Your podcast is the only one that I ever give my time to. I think you are brilliant Alex and I honestly cannot thank you enough for the knowledge I have gained from your podcast. You have helped me to understand not only myself, but my youngest son also. Thank you 💚💚
This is means so much to me, thank you 💚
My gosh - my son has mentioned nearly everything you comment on. He is now 21. You book is going to be amazing for us parents of ADHD kids - because we didnt get a manual on how to handle this/help/when to do something and when to leave it etc. Thank you for all that you have done.
Discovering to have ADHD at a later age started me to dive into these conversations. Its hard to discover and explain what is going on your own, but hearing these things are such eye openers. A lot of things fall into place now and I recognise so much! Especially the part of having to sit in a classroom and be quite while you have all this creative and entrepreneurial energy rushing through your body. I also have the suffering when having to do something you really dont want to do and having time crawl by second by second. Thank you for opening up!
Thank you Alex for being super candid about your diagnosis as well as process.
I think I just had my eureka moment - simplify but in our own way. I started a RUclips channel months ago about contextualizing hard concepts within visual design to make them more approachable to anyone that wants to give them a go. I in turn made it harder for me to explain everything. Simplifying the route to an answer is where i need to approach it differently than I had. Steps are one thing, but really fundamentally making a change of how I process the intense processes to actually achieve greatness is what I need to portray. For me, these heavy concepts are very easy, but I know they're obviously not for someone just searching them on YT.
Anyway, THANK YOU for your responses, your help has reached me, even though I'm not a young'n... probably older than you, but that doesn't matter. I've always tried to do everything, much like everyone else here.
You were lucky to have such a supportive family ❤
Great podcast, i learned a lot of new things.
Thanks!
Alex!!! this morning i went to make a appointment with my doctor to finally get it on paper i am 45 years old always know i have dyslectic ADHD and autism. Because of all this beautiful people sharing there story especial the one of "Jessie Mei Li " i can relate to her story so much.....thanks a lot for this stories the help me (us) a lot!!!! PS: next good thing for us ADHD spectrum is a dedicated dating side i think it will be the best for people like us (friends or romantic) a place of no masks. and YES the best medication is a comfort animal, For you your dog Marlo, so funny for me its my best friend Marlay my cat i love him so much, i even get him some cats lol i have my cat Marlay and he have 5 cats🐱🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈, man i am so happy i have find your channel it will help us finally tell ower story to the world, and this will give us a place to be finally feel at ease and accepted, keep up the good work ALEX!!!!
It is soothing and reassuring; pushing away that impostor shouting so often from inside making you feel so inadequate and so scared. Thank you, Alex! I love your podcasts!
Thank you so much 💚
PS it was THAT quote from your book when i heard on IG(?) that knocked the wind out of me and brought me to my knees, tears, and ADHD Chatter. Thank you!
So grateful that you made these podcasts.
💚
Alex want to hug u..ur a legend such a strong guy av felt the mental health pain thanks for sharing n being soo raw x
I’ve been watching your videos for about a year and catching up on all the earlier episodes. Sometimes I need to take a break from them,too much identification and too often moved to tears. In the process however, I’ve rebuilt the courage to approach my doctor for a referral to the mental health team. Last time during a two minute “interview” I was scoffed at and told I probably had generalised anxiety disorder and they couldn’t help anyway because I had admitted to using cannabis. I stopped that in August, suffered terrible anxiety and depression and I’m now on Fluoxetine which is greatly helping. Your podcast has given me the determination to try again and helped me understand the sense of rejection and gaslighting I felt. I’m retired after 40 years of nursing and I’m so disappointed at some of the mental health practitioners. I wanted never to go near them again and at nearly 64 I didn’t see any point. Now, I don’t care how long it takes I’m going to pursue a diagnosis. After a lifetime of being “wrong” I want to salvage my last stage of life. You didn’t underestimate the damage that gets done by undiagnosed ADHD, I’d be ashamed to share my disasters. I’m conscious that I’m over sharing even here in this safe space, but I wanted you to know how much you’ve helped us older women who have been too much and not enough all our lives. Thanks for putting yourself in the spotlight and another great interview xx
This means a lot, thank you 💚
I think it’s great what you have shared Norah, it’s meant a lot to me and really moved me. I resonate with you so much although I’m just 29, still feel like a child and don’t have nearly as much life experience, but everything you said it felt like it was me saying it. From the cannabis, to the mental health practitioner experience, to what you were saying about sometimes needing a break from these video because, although very informative and inspirational, can be emotionally draining and overwhelming for me. I also have always felt like a walking disaster, leaving a trail of destruction in my wake, making a big mess of my life, but I’m trying to turn things around. I’m sorry you struggled for a time in life before, but thanks so much for sharing. I really look up to your resolve and determination to continue to pursue medical support despite having an unfortunate experience
Wishing you an amazing retirement and sending love from Ireland!
Lauren
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 laughing and crying and anxiously awaiting your book i pre-ordered to drop into my audible account on Thursday ❤ thank you so much for all of this, Alex!
I'm another undiagnosed adhd, possibly autistic, 37 year old woman to listen to your podcast. my part 1 of 2 assessments is this Wednesday and I'm so nervous. x it will change my life to have a diagnosis after years of struggles and unknowns.
it really stood out when you talked about the percentage of women who attempt to take their lives with adhd. my sister in law took her life just a few months ago and she was just diagnosed with adhd about 2 years ago. she was 40. I wish she had known how much I could relate to her if she had just given me the chance to talk to her. 💔
Thanks Alex for doing these videos, it does help people. Lot of people will realise the subtlety of the problem and without someone else saying it, slowly noticing it within them, the chatter or noise that messes up their lives which is no one's fault but genetics at play.
I was diagnosed with depression lurks anxiety would seemingly recover enough to function then crash again. It was an ongoing cycle. Now though I have an explanation abs am learning to love myself and treat myself kindly
I see so many parallels. Diagnosed later in life, after I invented my own solutions to something I didn’t even know about. Thank you for this.
Well done Alex. Thank you, you are making a difference in my world.
💚
Honestly Alex is missing a trick here, he could be such a great speaker in schools around the country or interviewing kids on his podcast 😊😊
great idea!
Interviewing kids would be great
Thank you for bringing Milo. He should be there all the time. My dog has been THE single most calming, only consistant part of the last 10 years that have been the most chaotic of my 58 yr life as a single mom tenuously launching 2 early-diagnosed (my greatest accomplishment) young ADHD adults into the world (college and Military). If there were one thing I wished for, it wld be to have my dog at my 8-5 never- ending-mind-numbing day job where I cannot see daylight and earn about 25% of what I'm worth and my ideas are not understood or valued.
How did you stop drinking?
As someone with undiagnosed ADHD, I really appreciate you sharing your story, Patridge, especially your experiences in the workplace. I took notes on the suggestions you mentioned for creating a less stressful environment for employees with ADHD (for quick reference):
• Offer flexible start times and share meeting agendas in advance.
• Provide written minutes or follow-ups, as verbal instructions may not always stick.
• Allow a grace period (e.g., 1 hour to 24 hours) for employees to process problems and come up with solutions.
• Encourage movement in the office, such as walking breaks.
• Consider holding walking meetings.
• Avoid requesting “quick chats” without providing context beforehand.
For me, the lack of such support is what makes even a remote 7-4 schedule unbearable at times
Thank you Alex for letting me see at 75 what I've been unknowingly dealing with all my life. I feel like I can breathe now.... ❤💙💜
fantastic podcast helped me on so many levels. thanks for caring Alex
48:22 this section spoke to me. I was diagnosed with adhd at 36 years old. Undiagnosed adhd has been damaging to my self esteem. I can relate to the thought “you’re broken”, so you need to adjust your personality to try and fix the broken bits. Don’t understand who you are, because focusing so much on what you are not. This leading to trouble w boundaries and how to determine what your expectable lines are.
Alex, could you please make a shortish and comprehensive video guide to help the partners and family members of someone who has ADHD. So that those around them will have a deeper understanding of how to interact with them and to appreciate the difficulties and triggers leading to stress on both sides of the equation.. im struggling to get my wife to sit through tens of hours of your amazing content just to accidentally encounter key areas... thanks
just a tip that might help is the youtube CLIP feature, find it behind the 3 dots with 'save'. I've found it really handy for this. you can make them private, name the CLIP...unsure if you can put them into a playlist. bear in mind my wife left me, despite this feature. but it might help!
Yes that would be fantastic
Great request. Some other people have done that but a compilation video from this channel would be a quick win.
Check out some of the shorts he's done. I've played a few to my mum
Thankyou Alex for your podcasts, they help me immensely. Recently diagnosed at 60 ❤🙏
Alex thank you for sharing your experience it was great to listen to your story 😊
great stuff in here boys, thank you so much. What about ASD thooooo ???
Awesome interview Alex. You are such a full-on communicator I struggle to keep up. You also took a full two hours! Well done. 😊
I was diagnosed at 57, about two nd a bit years ago. I have long covid and that has exasperated my ADHD symptoms severely, causes anxiety and major life changes, so anything that gives me an understanding of my state of mind is a God send. That's you Alex, thank you very much.
Alex’s thank you for being you and doing what you do! You have helped me in many ways!
This was great. Your business experience hit home for me, and your words of wisdom are so tremendously meaningful and helpful. Thank you.
Wish i could relate. Diagnosed 10 years ago and now live like a hermit, painfully aware of how utterly unreliable and impulsive i am. Before, I'd bumbled along using tomorrow as a buffer for the daily f ups. Now there is no tomorrow cos i know nothing is gonna change, just a ceaseless awareness of the dysregulation and impulsivity.
It turned the furure from possibility (as illusory as it was) to a life sentence and , incidentally, one that the state clearly gives no credance or care to. Still, it is soothing to a depressed mind that others are getting on ❤
Ritalin helps a bit with the impulsively & using a calendar works too
Yeah, you're not stuck in that you just think you are. See a professional specializing in adult ADD. There are meds & also other coping strategies. You're not broken you're neurodivergent. You're built different but I suspect you already know that. ADD people are seldom stupid. Much success w your life. 😊
My life makes sense listening to your podcast Alex I was wondering what was wrong all those years
Well done Alex - my wife bought me the book from Waterstones. Looking forward to it 👍
Alex, you are such an Amazing person! ❤Thank you, I look forward to reading your book!
Thank goodness schools have changed so much over the years and teachers are now much more aware of the signs to look out for in children that indicate they might be neurodiverse - my sons school started to raise the possibility with us when my son was in reception - my exhusband refused to have him referred as he didn't want my son labelled but the school put lots of things in place to help my son anyway like weighted blankets- wiggle cushions fidget toys - 5 min jumping session on the trampolin - walks around the playground during lessons if he's struggling to concentrate, the latest one is velcroing all his stuff to the desk as he's constantly loosing things 😂 Thankfully at the age of 7 his dad has agreed to have him referred for assessment but I'm.99.9 sure he has it and it just makes me love him even more - children with ADHD need extra patience, love & kindness both at home and school.
I tried to encourage my family to watch some eye opening episodes so they understand the neurodiverse population and me but sadly there is no appetite to sit through one hour and we have been told WE have attention deficit
OMG, the intro song! It's my favorite triple layered song ❤ My brain goes into a blissful pause ⏸️ every time, when the third layer starts 😊
TIMO! I thought you said TEMU!! Shopping never helps my ADHD. I get home with the gear, put the bag down and it might sit there for 2 weeks or 2 months before I empty it!
Dogs are very intuitive and read our body language very well. My dog is also a huge empath. So having a dog has also been a great benefit to me too.
This was so helpful to me to better understand my friend with ADHD. Much easier to not be mad at him when he disappears for years at a time. I finally see that it’s not me.
So nice that you are learning and thinking about your friend this way.
Thank you ❤
Thank you for your channel. this feels like same story different font.
One of the punishments given to me (under the age of ten) was to sit in a chair for two hours while the rest of my siblings raced about playing . Torture. Had to sit because next level was the belt. All my adult life I struggle enormously sitting for any task (except in hyper focus) any admin/paperwork feels like a literal punishment as a 55 y/o.
My torture was nose in the corner.😅 The lack of stimuli plus other stuff going on that I couldn't see/process was horrible. 30 minutes in the corner felt like years. I think I preferred the belt, it was painful but over with quickly.
30:30 For anyone like me who heard Alex's self awareness questions, thought that's great and immediately forgot them they were:
What happened today that made me:
-Sad?
-Happy?
-What felt challenging?
-What felt easy?
My dog is my baby ❤ he’s called Dizzee Rascal and he’s a mini daschund
Excellent - thank you :)
my pleasure 💚
Can’t wait for Thursday 📖 ❤
The memories of shame situations, that hount you. What do you do when they are flooding in? What do you start to do or to think about? (I just want to hear any precise example of what works for someone else. I will try to use it too.)
Your hand petting your dog as fast as your brainwaves were going... My hand does the same when I listen attentively. At the end, great that your friend was there.
Thanks Alex 🩵
After working in a school myself in my older years and seeing the children from a staff perspective, I recognised so many situations from my own experiences when younger. However I tackled situations which were dangerous with questions to children, what could happen if we did this? what should we do instead? if this happened to you how would you feel or do you think you could be injured by accident. Its a way to enhance their thinking skills I feel without insulting them and find their own answers and they are usually the best way to avoid accidents.
I remember a distinct moment in school as a child, where some girls were pushing in the queue and then people were complaining about it in the queue, the teacher came and said no one is going for lunch until they admit who it was. To me in my brain I wanted lunch desperately so I put up my hand and I knew the routine of you will be put to back of queue but at least it made us all go inside the hall for lunch. I remember the girls asking me why I put my hand up, and I said I wanted to get lunch and I was instantly called weird. I already knew I was not fitting in or able to keep and make new friends. School reports kept saying back in the day that staff kept trying to put me in groups to make friends but I was not interested. Noise on playground was awful holding a conversation was too hard to focus on. Library was my sanctuary.
You were both great 👏♥♥♥
I got diagnosed with ADD at the age of 13. Was on rilatine and concerta for 10 years till I got my bsc in cs. Now at 31 I life without it. Sadly anxiety especially when it comes to potential relationships is still there.
‘All dogs have ADHD’ ‘All cats have Autism’ - both books by Kathy Hoopman! 😂 take a read!
All cats have Autism so true!! i have 6 of them! they are my live especially for people that have problems in the social spectrum!
I swear our cat has ADHD instead of autism. He's hyperactive, in your face, talking a lot and gets bored from eating the same food, so we need to have 4 varieties for him. But he also is very demanding of attention, especially when I'm stressed, he tries to keep me sane 😊
It's an Abyssinian
@ i agree but i think its both, i find my cat sometimes in the autism mode "not giving a F*ck" even when i show him his favorite toy, just sitting there looking just true me. lol
Thank you
So interesting to hear your story. I have liked many UNILAD and LADbible videos on Facebook, and had no idea you founded those. What do the company names mean? Is LAD an acronym for something?
I've been really enjoying your podcast for several months. Your description of how to spot a woman with ADHD fits me to a T, and your description of working a 9 to 5 job remind me a lot of myself, and many things your guests say resonate very much for me, though I do not have a diagnosis of ADHD, at least not yet. I started researching ADHD because I suspected my 33 year old son has it, and was surprised to find how many of the traits fit me too, different from him but I've had decades to learn strategies and systems to function well and mask, while he is really struggling, and his emotional dysregulation tends to go to anger and his impulsivity causes him more problems than my sadness or anxiety do.
I grew up with the label Gifted, and am only recently learning that there are common downsides to that which aren't often acknowledged, like social awkwardness and perfectionism. I always felt I didn't fit in, and was attracted to people who I sensed were somehow misfits like I felt I was, very creative people, somehow unusual people. I have experienced depression, anxiety, insomnia, and I was diagnosed as bipolar 2 for awhile but my latest psychiatrist told me he thought that was a misdiagnosis, that my manic episode didn't actually meet the criteria and probably wouldn't have happened if not for being on antidepressants. I was on lithium for several years, and I spent years being afraid of my enthusiastic, super-productive good moods thinking they were hypomania and might get out of control into full blown mania, when now I think they were hyperfocus. No psych meds since 2020 and doing fine, but in a bit of a journey of self-discovery as a recent retiree. I functioned well in school and work, but tend to be a loner and have trouble maintaining friendships or deepening friendships and am ambivalent about relationships with men since I've never had a good one, but I have fortunately found a few people who seem to be my tribe with whom I can pick back up where we left off after long gaps. I also knew I was an INFJ on the Myers-Briggs personality type since high school, and a few years ago found out about Highly Sensitive People, and figured out I am a High Sensation Seeking HSP. And I've been learning that many traits I have and my son have could also be attributed to cPTSD. Not really sure if I need a diagnosis at this point in my life, but it's been helpful to hear about other people with similar characteristics and how they deal and hopefully learn to work with their strengths and not get too bogged down by their challenges. Journaling, creative outlets, mindfulness, and education are helpful for me.
Thank you sharing this, I really appreciate your support!
When someone says “ why are so awkward “ , why can’t you just reply now “ it’s because I have ADHD and I find these situations awkward and questions like that very rude “ .
I will say that in future to people who say stuff like this to me
Sadly, I am afraid if I were to get the app you are selling I'll forget I am paying for it and I'll never open it because there's too many icons on my phone so it's probably like 8 pages deep. Just another reason to feel shame when my partner looks at the bank statement 6 months from now and asks, what's THIS app you've probably never opened except to pay for it???? Nothing works, but I really enjoy your show & quick clips. BTW, I really can relate to your childhood trauma. I don't remember most of my childhood, but I'm told there must have been some type of major trauma in my youth and it's why I have very few memories. I thought about getting hypnotized by a therapist to recall some of my youth, but I'm now afraid of what I find out. Like there's a reason I can't remember and it's not just because I have ADHD.
Thank you,
Yes! I went through this as well😢
HEY ALEX HOPE YOU’RE WELL , I CANT WAIT TILL THURSDAY 🎊❤️📚 EDIT : IN MY OPINION YOUR TEACHER WAS VERY COLD , UNCARING & INEXPERIENCED , THEY SHOWED NO SIGNS OF COMING DOWN TO MEET YOU @ YOUR LEVEL & LOOKING @ WHAT YOU DID FROM A CHILDS PERSPECTIVE & HAD THEY DONE SO THEY WOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR GENIUS & THOUGHTFUL IDEA FOR WHAT IT WAS … TRULY AMAZING & CREATIVE PROBLEM SOLVING FOR A YOUNG CHILD , WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN PRAISED FOR THAT & THEN BEEN TAUGHT SECONDARILY WITH KINDNESS WHY THE SCREWS WERE NOT IDEAL DUE TO SAFETY REASONS , BUT APPLAUDED FOR YOUR PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS … SO UNTIL I GET A TIME MACHINE TO RIGHT SO MANY WRONGS & UNDO SO MUCH DAMAGE :
TO THE YOUNG CONFUSED & UPSET LITTLE ALEX , WELL DONE YOU FOR COMING UP WITH THAT IDEA ✨👏 THAT IS ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC PROBLEM SOLVING & SHOWING YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT EVERYONE NOT JUST YOURSELF WHICH IS EVER SO KIND OF YOU & THOUGHTFUL & NEVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE BECAUSE YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE & YOU WILL ALWAYS BE ENOUGH 💛
THATS BETTER , IVE REWRITTEN THAT SOOOOOO MANY TIMES , TWEAKING IT UNTIL IT WAS WHAT ALL ( DIFFERENT NOT BROKEN ) CHILDREN SHOULD HEAR / OUR YOUNGER SELVES SHOULD HAVE HEARD 😔👭🏻👨🏻🤝👨🏾💕👧🏼👦🏽🧒🏻💕🌎🌠🙏💕
My daughter has ADHD and recently found out autism as well she very smart girl . Being dyslexic myself and I probably have adhd as well as when we was doing assessment my husband was this is you Michelle . I haven’t listen to all of podcast yet but will later and most likely comment again . Anxiety both myself and daughter has I think mine is from long past in childhood with nasty teachers in primary school. Daughter is more new things or doing something new
These things really stick in your mind don’t they ? The RSD reaction is like a knife through the heart ..A teacher once told me in front of the whole class that my hair was a mess and needed a comb put through it … I was horrified, I think I was about 9 or 10 ..
I wanted to be a ballet dancer I was obsessed but my parents didn’t ever let me have a lesson , instead they made me have piano , violin and guitar lessons all of which I hated!
i took guitar lessons from a drummer, and all I wanted was to be on TOTP :)
I have got it diagnosed at age 56 and I am a doctor with very high IQ
I was diagnosed 4 years ago and started to studdy again. Motivated by the hope to get the degree to be able to help other Adults with ADHD to make their life easier! 🍀🥳🤩😍
So if you are looking for someone from Austria to talk to, I would be super proud to do that! 🫣😅😂🤩🍀
By the way… I thought I couldn‘t like your Podcastmore than I already did and then you brought your Franchie with you! 🍀😍🥳
We got one as well, called Rocky and he is our absolute lifesafer!
Im going tommorow to the doctor for a diagnoses, i hope it will help me like it did so many others. Happy it helped with your study! I just started one a half year ago and i need help with this shit bad 😂
Younger versions are certainly benefiting, but also older versions are, as well.
Honestly, I don't see how one could be ADHD (undiagnosed) and even called "weird" without ever being bullied. For me, being bullied since elementary school was the foundation of everything and who I became before getting diagnosed in 2020. That, along with the state-mandated competency tests and national tests, I remember starting by third grade. It told me that when I grew up, I'd be packing boxes in a factory. So, I find it hard to believe that undiagnosed ADHD had no consequences of bullying.
How do we influence change for the next and future generations? Experiencing this personally as a parent with a 9 year old child who has had a significant experience which has led to diagnosis my worry is that there is no teaching and learning about this with student teachers, little training for teachers/educators and therefor no change. In my experience teachers are so keen to support our young people who are struggling but without mandatory learning around these issues feel very ill equipped?
Please ignore the account name, just realised I’m clearly logged in under my daughters account 🤦🏻♀️
Hi Alex. The first video short of yours I ever saw, after viewing it, I said, "I feel seen!" Since then, I've been diagnosed. I'm in my 60's. Better late than never!
Hey, I have a question that you may be able to add to the Washing Machine of Woes. I'd love to know what one of the experts thinks.
I seem to have an aversion to *finishing* projects. I'll get a project 95% done, and then not do the last 5% to take it to the finish line. This doesn't feel like I'm simply getting bored with them. It's more like I don't want to take them off the "doing" list and put them on the "done" list. It feels like a loss of some sort, like I might run out of projects. (Which is preposterous; for the record, I have more projects than I can finish in my lifetime! And I *love* knowing that they're there.)
I am aware that this might be because "done" doesn't give me a dopamine hit like it would for neurotypical folks, so perhaps there's less motivation to reach "done." But why the aversion to it? I assume it's an ADHD thing, but what's the mechanism?
Mind you, I do get some projects done, but they're typically very short projects that I can finish in a couple of hours.
How do you spell Temo ? Teamo ? I think you should spell it when you talk about your sponsor. I can’t find it on App Store because I can’t spell it
Its Tiimo 💚
Great thanks
Great Britain doesn’t as a whole recognise ADHD very well they are better than France but they do pride themselves on having lower diagnosis levels that’s Australian and the USA.
BUT they had whole schools for kids with dyslexia and sooooo many dyslexic kid also have ADHD so they were treating the problem but not finding the source.
Aww Milo is a handsome boy.
What’s the title of Alex’s book?
His book is at the moment (january 14th 2025) not available on Amazon. Sold out?
What's the self awareness questionnaire.
The irony is that asking a stranger why they are awkward creates an awkward situation. Is not a kind word to use.
I hope they meant it to ask about his wellbeing and that it just came out wrong…. Or at least that they learned from it since.
Aaaahhh i have a Milo too! Just that hes a daschund
To the topic of superpower: Even being fully functional and even grean there will always come times when it all crashes down on me and there is no super left. It is an illusion while riding the wave.
Your story of the screws has the element of people hanging incorrect motivations or intentions to your behavior or action. I run into that a lot. Due to masking I think people find it difficult to figure us out. They are left with drawing conclusions based on their experiences with people like we strive to be.
Aw, that gorgeous dog resting their head on Alex's knee.
I realise he is called Milo ❤