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We Need to Talk - S1 Ep 1
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- Опубликовано: 4 фев 2024
- “The Wedding” . Ezekiel and Kiyanna reflect on a sit down conversation with Ezekiel’s Nigerian Parents to discuss their tumultuous wedding that almost tore the family apart.
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If you want your children to follow culture, teach them, don't expect them to guess, period!!
This right here! Bring both families together to discuss each culture and assign responsibilities!!
Reall
Period!
Kiyanna is gorgeous
So pretty 😍 oh my gosh
Isn't she!
She sure is...just naturally beautiful and so relatable...🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾💛💛💛
Yes She is pretty..... her husband is handsome too. Gorgeous couple 😍🥰
She is.
If someone gave me $30,000 to have the wedding of my dreams - I’d be adding $28,000 to my savings. 😂
That part!😂
Hahahaha😂 ..right I feel the same none of it really matters but if I can have it & save money I will be happy. I can’t wait to be married.
“You have disgraced the family,” is sending me. 😅😂😂😂😂Some of these traditions are very similar in Caribbean cultures.
Yoh!
If you are getting married to an african, its safer to have two weddings, first the traditional wedding and then the white wedding, make sure the traditional wedding is all about your parents and what they want, your wedding day is like their graduation ceremony from being parents, its a day they want to celebrate for doing a good job of raising you to be who you are, so the traditional marriage gives them that feeling, once you do that, you can then go ahead and do whatever you want for the white wedding, they wont care or evwn worry, hope this advise would help someone in the future.
Yes!! I'm a wedding hairstylist and I tell my brides let the elders have their day. Just be a doll and show up lol
Is it tradition that the family pays for the traditional wedding or does the bride and groom pay for both?
THIS!! A TM (traditional marriage) is MANDATORY if you want to satisfy traditional parents! And I’m hurting for the couple and the parents because this wasn’t understood. I would be heartbroken if my parents felt so disrespected on a cultural level in my wedding plans.
@@drenascott9924The groom’s usually handles the weddings monetary wise. The bride can support if she wants. Give that you need two incomes to survive and have a family, she’d have to support.
I think one of the main takeaway from this is for people to understand that African culture is built on community and there needs to be more communication from the elders on the expectations and traditions early on. Interesting discussion
Second generation immigrants, especially africans, you think you know your immigrants parents and that they are opened minded and stuff until it's time to organize a wedding... Great video!
Yessssoo! (Yes)
Forreal!!! This hit it on the nail 😂😂😂
I swear 😂
this is stressful to watch. ... because I can't even imagine what they went through. On the other hand I think the parents need to have explained the culture to the son who was raised in the US. it is not his fault.
Ps…I’m Nigerian 🤷🏽♀️
It’s the natural beauty for me. She’s beautiful
Ezekiels Father looks like he’s STILL standing on Business 😂😂😂… this was good and funny! So glad you two loved each other through it all
I got married in May and my husband and I went through the exact same issues with our family. Invitations, food and all.. Not sure if this makes you guys feel better but my husband is Nigerian and I'm Cameroonian/Ghanaian. Ended up having 2 separate weddings with a sum total of 800 people. Nevah again LOL. Only Jesus can make me marry again.
Wow I’m Ghanaian. It’s interesting u r half GH cuz the tribalism in Ghana is insane not to talk about marrying outside ur culture.
Marrying from a different culture is not for the faint hearted especially when u don’t understand the language.
😫😂😂
Wait!!! 800?!?? How 😩
African parents need to do a better job with preparing their children of wedding expectations even before engagement
Even wedding between two Nigerians can really stressful , most people still face this cultural difference palaver. I’m facing my currently😂😂 and to be sincere it’s emotionally draining.
Awwww congrats o 😂 it is well
Pls which tribes are getting married if you don’t mind me asking 😂
Not even half way in and I’m already hollering 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😭 ai to be an African is a job and a half honestly. Lord I pray for my parents. ❤
You both are beautiful on the outside but there's something in how you both look at each other as you're communicating that is just stunning. May the Lord always cover your marriage.
My face 😮 when they printed more invitations and invited the entire church! I don’t think too much about my wedding cos the emotional trauma is too recent and fresh lol
Same lol
Marriage is a community, the girl has the backing of the family. The man has many to hold him accountable.
This is helping so many of us Africans in the US
You guy's are the kingdom version of dark and lovely.. PHENOMENAL 😍
The way he looks at her and talks to her is so special
Love the igbo intonation from Ezekiel's Dad. “Are you hearing me?”😂😂🇳🇬🇳🇬.
Are they igbo's, I caught that too
We’ve been married for 15 years 🤔 at this point black skin is a super power! You both are beautiful!
Not yall spilling yall tea, “we was already married.” 😩😂
Them calling her their wife is absolutely beautiful to me! It's endearing as it highlights how a union between two families is held in high regard in their culture, including the complete take over 🤣 . There's also beauty in the American practice of the bride's family footing the bill. It's like their last chance to show how much she's love and appreciated by her family. I think the takeaway is the importance of communication and openness to learn. My husband and I are Haitian. Our wedding day was hectic with differing opinions from both sides. We didn't enjoy our wedding day but by God's grace, 20 years later we're still learning and enjoying our marriage. This was a great honest conversation. Thank you for sharing!
Man marrying into a West African family is an experience! I'm Liberian and not married but my sister is married to a black American. My sister and her husband paid for the majority of their wedding and my mom had a bigger guest list than both of them!
Half Liberian right here. I get it lol. My mom isn't too bad but it definitely is different.
AFRICAN TIME.....😂😂😂😂 we the African delegation will like to apologize to Our Wife...😂😂😂🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
🤣🤣🤣
THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL DIALOGUE!!! THANK YOU FOR INVITING US INTO YOUR WORLD!!! ALSO, YOU'D BE SURPRISED TO KNOW THAT AMERICAN FAMILIES ARE THE SAME WAY!!! YALL NEED TO BE ON TV, YOUR OWN SHOW!!!!! GOD BLESS YALL!!!!
Brother Ezekiel, you didn't warn her? African parents do not play when it comes to weddings. Best to have two weddings to avoid this!
I didn’t know.
Just 12 mins in and I am struggling internally. I am to wed this summer and already I have changed the date enough times that my Love is even frustrated. My mom called me yesterday saying they had to cancel the family reunion because of me, and my friend’s that want to come have obligations I am planning around. My brother, therapist and fiancé have all been like this is about the bride and groom. It’s the people pleaser in me I know but it’s not easy oooo.
The dowry meeting is soon and it has brought up feelings of being embarrassed since my dad is not around and my mom and him in the same room 🫢🫣 😢. It is a lot to be honest I just try not to complain and make adjustments. Please pray for me to be courageous and allow myself to be happy. My whole world will be changing and I will be moving away from everyone so it probably is fear as well.
Thank you for sharing your story.❤
The differences of cultures that his mother explained starting from the wedding invitations is astounding and speaks to all the fractures we have in the African American family because we were stripped from our original ethnic identities. It breaks my heart.
I come from a different country i am kenyan but what i realized is when it comes to major life events African parents normally think its for them.
For instance my sister and i graduated from university and my parents especially my mom was so angry because we did not want a graduation party and i notice most graduation parties i have been to the parents normally have more guests than the one who has graduated. Its so unnecessary you have to invite people you have never even spoken to .
She's the real Nigerian in this relationship. She would keep the money lolllll
😂😂
He’s definitely Igbo by the looks of his parents living room lol
😂😂😂😂
Very true😂
Even their intonation
😂😂😂 so true!! 😅😅
As a Ghanaian, African parents are just different😂But at the end of the day it’s all love and unity in the community. God bless y’all for sharing this so we can all learn🙏🏾✨
38:28 - You bought your groomsmen and bridesmaids' outfit?? Wow! I've never heard this before. Y'all are probably the most generous couple I know.
🤣 yeah we’ve been in a lot of weddings. They’ did us us a favor so we wanted to make it easy not a burden 😊
I absolutely loved this backstory. Even without the cultural differences, every family comes with their own set of traditions too. Communication is crucial for planning weddings & funerals or there can be fallout that never gets restored.
Chile that "this is not your wedding, this is our wedding" hits home 😂 Heck all of it! I love my husband and inlaws but lawdt it took some getting used to.
Glad you guys can laugh about it now. May God continue to protect you guys ❤
This should definitely be a series. I am an African married to an African-American and we had the same if not similar issues. I think there are so many similar stories out there that should be shared to make those who are coming into this type of union, ready and prepared lol and don’t get me started on staying married in an intercultural relationship and how you raise your kids 😅
I’m not even ready for the baby shower conversations 😩😩😩
Brace yourself 😅 that’s the easy part. When the baby arrives, it’s a different undiscussed expectations… similar to the wedding lol I’m saying this all in light of awareness and respect. Intercultural relationships can be challenging but it’s beautiful 🥰🥰
@@bithiahsam prayers lol 🙏🏾🙏🏾
as an African i was cringing at your mindset , i see the disrespect but i also understand that you have to teach the culture to the kids you cannot just expect it. So its was a great lesson both ways
When I tell you this was GREAT. I can clearly see that the two of you stand together and God is first. You give one another space to be yourself while standing your ground and allowing the other to do the same
Y’all wedding process sounds almost identical to my husband & I’s; and we’re both Nigerians with similar parental unknown expectations & we also planned our own. Let me tell you; we live & we learn. My sentiments are similar to yours Kianna! I would advise: do a low key what you can afford and do a traditional wedding in honor of the parents, both with a wedding planner you can afford 😊. Have FUN & remember to EAT! Also, the wedding really doesn’t matter compare to the marriage itself.
“This is not your wedding!!”😂😂😂😂🙌🏾🙌🏾👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🤣🤣
Aww I love this so much! As a bride to be who is currently planning her wedding, this video came RIGHT ON TIME 😂
I'm so glad!
Congratulations
As a Ghanaian currently in the US (not first gen), this conversation is very interesting 😂 African cultures are something else man and even more complicated when Black American culture is thrown into the mix. Very insightful and lighthearted though despite many hard things talked about. Great video!
It’s the “You have disgraced this family” for me lol 🤣🤣💀💀
Coming from an African home we are raised to go with what our parents and the culture demands while dying on the inside. We also experience that the same kind of conflict when planning our weddings here in Africa. But I’m happy that despite all of the drama you can still look back and laugh at everything and I’m glad you are in good terms with your parents and you have a beautiful marriage. I’ve been watching you guys for years❤️❤️ I love the work you are doing.
lol at “you have disgraced this family “ I love older African parents 😂
Grateful to have been sent to the village as a child. Nigerian parents in America need to do better in regards to passing down cultural practices/omenala ndi Igbo.
You told her she’s marrying you! LOL We love an assertive man - right, ladies? 😂😂
1st gen. Ghanaian American here, 15 years married as well! Those of us who got married back then went through it! I love what Ezekiel said to his parents about the need for them to have schooled him on these cultural expectations prior to his marriage. This is key. Thank you for this candid discussion, it took me and my husband down memory lane for real.
LMAOOO the way so many Nigerians can relate to this is hilarious 😂😂😂
Tradition or not. I think parents should respect the wishes of the bride and the groom. This is really their time. Scripture talks about man leaving his father's house and becoming one with his wife. Perfect time to set boundaries as well. Love you guys ❤🎉
Omg these video cracked me up. My Nigerian culture is so epic 😂. Sending love to everyone marrying into the Nigerian culture
love love love the transparency and so thankful that you all can laugh about it now ❤. It shows that the grace of God along with time truly can heal all wounds. Great to have ya'll back on RUclips.
EZEKIEL LI LOST ITTTTTTTT WHEN YU USED YOURNIGERIA ACCENT!!! lololol " if YOU WANT TO COME, COME!!!! " Haaaaaahahaha , lol this caught me off guard.
Soo real, soo vulnerable, soo Powerful and beyond encouraging & hilarious 😂🔥✝️❤️
They’re baaaack
As a wedding photographer now and actually being involved with weddings I definitely understand this from a very different perspective now lol.. weddings are some else honey 😬! And every time I do think about doing a small ceremony or renewal or something of the sorts, when I think of all the money it'll cost and what I can do with that money, it makes me change my mind 🙄.. you getting older, you definitely do think different and a bit more wiser! I'm glad you guys are still kicking and I know you will because Jesus is your driver and 3fold cord is not easily broken! Keep it up and I love u guys!🥰😘❤️
Omgggg I’m freaking outttttt!!!! Can’t wait miss your blessed content! Thank you lord for hearing the people! Lol
As a South African, I can relate to your parents’ sentiment because that’s exactly how my parents feel.
It’s sad how even in Africa we seem to be adopting the Western culture.
Its terrible. My brother n his wife had a baby. No naming ceremony
"And I just kept showing up" 😂😂😂❤❤ God bless you both and your families ❤
Love how they are coordinated. Too fly mom and pop
As an American woman marrying a Nigerian American 1st son .. I resonate with this experience SO MUCH. We eloped during the pandemic and had the wedding for the family some time later & it was the worst most beautiful day ever. If we could go back … chile we would have just had the honeymoon of a lifetime.
I agree that it’s an issue of education of the culture before and during the planning process. It’s important not to find out expectations were not met after the fact. Our families never recovered but I love to see a family that got the happy ending! 🖤
Thank you for sharing these honest moments from your marriage. The honesty is appreciated and needed.
As a pastor’s kid, with many many extended family members, this is scaring me.
Felt
Dealing with the same things in my wedding planning right now. In many cultures you have to include the parent's names in the invitations, honor the parents in the wedding, they want to invite EVERYbody lol
I don't typically comment on videos but this was so good, I had to. Thank you guys for this. It was insightful, interesting, and sad at times (some of the stories) but funny, too.
I’ve missed you guys! Nice to see you’ll.
I SAY HAVE ANOTHER WEDDING.....I LOVE YALL SUCH A BEAUTIFUL COUPLE AND YALL HAVE TO PUT IT ON “LIVESTREAM” SO I CAN COME....DRESSED IN MY WEDDING ATTIRE
👗 👠👠 👛 🤣 📺 GOD BLESS YOU BOTH!!!❤️
I love thisss!!! And Sis Kiyanna is glowing❤️
Just wanna say yall look so good! Sis you're looking fabulous I love that outfit! Ok now back to the video!😘😘
I needed this. Going through a lot of trials with my fiancés family. This encouraged me. ❤
This was soooo good! Appreciate y’all’s honesty!
this is so good. And how the dad explained it is spot on. Nigerian weddings are lit!!
BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL .... BEAUTIFUL episode. I enjoyed this so much. 🙏
Loved watching this ❤ So refreshing hearing you all talk through this and be able to laugh about certain moments. Many lessons can be learned watching this 💯
For your next significant anniversary you should do a Nigerian wedding….
Once it’s understood both the cultural & Biblical significance of what the father said “this is NOT your wedding” hits home.
I was allowed to crash a Nigerian wedding and someone explained things to me as they were happening.
No one can ignore the fact that the ole fashioned way of contracting marriages… with both families involved contributed to the health, stability and longevity of marriages.
Btw one of the most beautiful and elegant weddings I ever attended was held in an elegant, mirrored, chandelier ballroom where guests were seated in gilded chairs and served wedding cake and punch out of a huge silver fountain. And NO ONE complained…
I enjoyed this....Regardless of the mishaps, you have such a lovely covenant as a result.
The invitation thing is a big one in our culture also. It has lessened a lot now, but initially it was always the parents of___invites ___ to the marriage of___. Culture does play a huge part in these events.
I love how this is comfortably discussed
Looooved the honesty
Thank you guys for sharing this with us! And thank you for modeling conversation between husband and wife
I'm from the Caribbean and i experienced hell with my ex Ghanaian 🙈
No one ever came to my rescue when i was pregnant. No mother in law ever called me.
No one ever visited me in the hospital.
His family never liked me.
In my point of view African parents thinks it's all about them. It's about your child. Stop trying to control everything.
After all is said and done who's going home without the parents?
If the husband beats the wife they will say 'go and beg your husband'
I don't like big extraordinary 😕 weddings. What's the point of spending soooo much money you can invest in something else.
Sometimes people no get sense.
But anyway im glad i bounced neverrr again! 😂
I can go on and on
Africa is a huge continent and different cultures so let’s not generalize. Sorry for your bad experiences and also I know plenty of Ghanaian families that are super accepting of their in laws.
@@lovelydays1412Africa is definitely a huge continent but there are many similarities in the mindset and mentalities, so she is definitely not too far off
As a Ghanaian, I want to say not everyone thinks this way or is like this 😭 But I do recognize that far too many people are :(
As a Ghanaian even within Ghana tribalism is high not to talk abt someone outside Ghana. People don’t know they r on the loose end from the beginning. Every Ghanaian parent deep in their heart wants their kids to marry from their own culture unfortunately. They r scared that the culture n language will be lost down the line
This was so refreshing to watch. There’s nothing like when everything gets better after the chaos. Being the only girl out of four boys and everybody thought I needed to do something a certain way. My poor husband 🙃. Bless his heart. Baby we eloped and skipped through the fields smiling, and holding hands. The stress of meeting everybody’s needs was waaaayy too much stress. We kept our money in our pockets and enjoyed each other. The best day ever! 10/10 would recommend lol.
I think a black American Marrying an African I so difficult because a lot of us have COMPLCATED family dynamics or broken homes 😭and. African culture is very family oriented. I remember A Ghanaian was courting me and he mentioned having a meeting with my parents and who’s speaking for me, and I’m like 👀👀parents? Meeting? I can’t get my family together like that and I speak for myself 😭
🤣🤣🤣
You speak for yourself. Because Black Americans have weddings with their families. So, what are you talking about? You are the problem with Black America! It's always you people who are ashamed to be Black Americans always focused on the negative and pushing negative narratives about our culture! You can have 10 of us doing right and you have people like you that focus on the 3 that do wrong. You have an anti-Black American chip b/c you pay more attention to statistics and the bad things that's been said about us and you cherry pick looking for that versus the reality that we do have weddings! A lot of us don't come from broken homes and even those who are raised by single parents still have a community of family who help raise Black children b/c of our inclination towards extended family relationships. Furthermore, you got many Nigerians and other Africans coming from broken homes and it's more than they say, because many of them flat out lie and pretend and put on a front. That sounds like a you problem that you don't have someone speaking up for you. But, I know plenty of Black Americans that have parents and grandparents who can speak up for them and they have close family ties. Your family and dynamic is not the norm or the general status quo for Black American families.
😂😂😂😂
😂😂
I am curious to know how this convo will continue from the Lord's perspective of wedding vs traditon. Especially some traditionas that are not Godly like wearing something new blue etc
I'm so glad you guys made it through and are still together. You overcame.😊
This was very helpful!! I’m going to ask my parents these question when it’s my time!
Mr it was your job to educate your American wife about the importance of honour of parents. It can be difficult though merging cultures. I'm glad you resolved issues in the long run
So Americans dont honor their parents? I think the less wealthy ppl in America dont take their parents seriously. I cant imagine Trump kids or old money Americans not respecting parents at their wedding
His parents didn't expose him to the Nigerian culture so everything was strange to him.He could not have done any better.😢😮😢
@@folushoadeniyi exactly. It was the parents fault cos they did not introduce their son to his culture. I am not sure why the parents are so shocked
It’s hard, even for 2 Nigerians, there is usually drama because there are so many expectations.
I agree though, the parents should have a place to sit though.
@@aeiou0123 Reaping where they didn't Sow 😀😀😀😀😀
I find it interesting the expectation was there when it doesn't seem you were raised very 'nigerian' or into your culture.
Thats on communication or lack there of
Anywho Nigerian weddings are a lot whether you know or not.
All is well that ends well. loved the video!
Also interesting how for you all the wedding is the husband families responsibility. In Yoruba land the bride/bride family 'owns' the wedding lol.
What a lovely couple. Well done
This is so helpful, I'm taking plenty of mental notes....
This is so trippy! I’m getting married soon and going through similar stuff our families 🫢
Yes in Africa it is their wedding but your marriage..this is real talk🙈 Awww love the growth love you guys,GOD continue to bless you!😍
This was so good and so funny lol. Lord it’s me again! 🥲😂😂😂
Wow this was awesome video
Loved this! A lot of laughs and great lessons too 😊
Black Americans have culture and traditions for marriage. It’s just different than Nigerian. We have a high regard for family too.
Thank you! Finally someone wrote that. This discussion was low key insulting to Black Americans.
@@jacklyneverage3881why r u soooo upset?
@@aeiou0123 Why do you Nigerians always trash talk Black Americans speaking as if our culture is all dysfunctional or that we don't have a culture? How would you like that if someone said that to your face or on social media about your culture? Think about that and then answer your own question. It's like you have a problem with Black Americans for no reason. You have all these criticisms and opinions uninvited, not one asks you, and act like your cultural identities stayed in pure form even after colonialism. It's annoying at this point. Please stop being uneducated about who we are and our culture and then publicly speaking on it. Stop using stereotypes, TV, music, and what white people say about us to define who we are as a people. He does this too often where he makes these key criticisms about Black American society. This is not the first time. I've seen him in different interviews doing this. I never hear him say anything positive about our culture and he always express it like Black Americans needs some healing and never discuss the trauma that Nigerians experienced and still have to deal with due to what happened to them during colonialism. It's always him talking about us, our trauma, our problems, and can't say one thing positive about Black American culture. It's disrespectful. Hence, why he has this young lady, myself, and another who commented about "we have culture". He should know better . What Black Americans that he deals with that he doesn't know how we plan weddings? To put out that false narrative like we don't have family involvement in our weddings and our own traditions when it comes to weddings was flat out ridiculous. And I have every right to defend, protect my culture and correct false narratives about it.
@@aeiou0123 You folks want to run your mouths and don't want to be corrected. It's not about being upset, it's about correcting false narratives about my culture.
@@jacklyneverage3881u r d one running your mouth writing long essays all over this page. And i dont see where anyone mentioned her parents absence beings cultural norm until you brought it up. You are a good representation of the angry phenomenon. Cos you are too eager to express anger instead of trying to see that folks are just trying to clarify and provide answers to your question. You asked why he only brought his parents and we are trying to explain that either they ll brjng them on another episode cos the parents were not a the wedding or they want her parents for a different story. But keep ranting all over the place. You are the one who looks insane
It’s so good to see you two post again!
I love this episode! I wonder how did they accommodate 500 people showing up???