Things Autistic People Do PT 15
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- Опубликовано: 7 май 2024
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I think this could be a trauma response. Because all of our lives we've been misjudged and misunderstood and now we just don't want anyone to have the opportunity to keep doing that.
That's exactly what I was thinking. I'm just like ugh, enough already with the ignorant, unwanted, uninvited, and un-NEEDED judgment! Yup.
It's more complicated than this and involves discreet gaslighting, shady coincidences, suspicious people...
For me that is definitely true. I had this so much when I was younger, but since I did therapy and worked on my trauma it became much less of an issue.
@@lenas4342 Did you consent to the therapy?
@@vitordelima yes, that was in my 20s
You cannot pet a cat too much. Well, unless the cat tells you that. ❤
When I had cats, often I lovingly referred to them as "time wasters", lol. How I loved to be distracted by them. 😻
Cat's autistic.
@@username46100they say a cat as autism a dig as adhd
The issue for me is not knowing that other people are thinking about me. No, the issue is that other people are thinking the WRONG things about me. That hurts me and I am sure doubtless hurts other Autistics because most of us have histories of masking and more generally being misunderstood.
Same. I always said that if I had one word to describe my experience as a human…it’s Misunderstood. I just recently discovered I’m autistic…60 yrs old.
Same. I haven't felt welcome and safe in my family in decades. They are good people. They just don't understand. I just put the puzzle together about myself a few weeks ago (45). If I ever hear from them, "Why can't you just be like everyone else?", now I can answer. Because I am NOT like everyone else. And if I am badgered to the point of shaking, crying, and unable to speak, while they are calling me "crazy" I have skills to help me cope now. They don't need to be around if they can't understand and help. I feel so much stronger and less stressed. Knowing there are other people in the world who get it helps too. Best wishes on all of our journeys. ❤
I learned to not care what others are thinking about me. Not easy to do. On one had my mother taught me not care what others think where as school taught the exact opposite.
Yes, the general lack of controll - too. Commenting on the internet or socialising with people online in games gives me the same sensation - and the added social anxiety.
I hate being the first person in a group to walk into a shop or restaurant. It makes me feel exposed, like I’m in the spotlight. If there’s a risk of me being first I try to hold the door for someone else to go first. If I’m on my own, there has to be a really compelling reason for me to walk through the door. And even then, if I can’t see what’s on the other side, I will sometimes just give up and leave.
Wow, thats exactly what I do. I'll even do a quickstep to get in front of the group to make sure I am the door holder if I'm next to someone that might get to it just before me and therefore force me to go in first.
I do this too! I’m ok on my own in familiar places but if I’m with people, I will do my best not to be first through the door. I hate being a “follower” in the metaphorical sense and yet I prefer to literally follow other people’s leads in public.
I do this as well, does anyone else absolutely loathe walking into, like a store for instance, when other people walking in at the same time? Especially if it’s not an automatic sliding door like, do I open the door for them do they open it for me and I act like a total spaz running through the door and thanking them like they just gifted me $5,000… god it’s so exhausting
That is so interesting. I totally get it, because getting there first does make me feel a little exposed, but I'm kind of the opposite. I like to get there first to make sure I get a seat facing the door, or the wider room if the door isn't in the line of sight.
Can't risk anyone sneaking up behind me, I guess lol
My last name is such that most of the time I'm the first when going in alphabetical order, I absolutely hate that. It's nice of course to not always be the last one, but I would prefer at least a couple of other people going first. Fortunately this is mostly in the past since these things would happen in education, not so much in work and other such things.
I do the same thing at the grocery store. I'm always modifying my path to interact with other people as little as possible. I think it's because I'm already focusing on a task and don't want to suddenly have to shift my attention and mask in order to get by. It's already dysregulating enough with all of the lights, noise, and activity. I don't need it to be any more exhausting than it already is.
This is why I wear large dark sunglasses in stores. Lol 😆
So true 👍🏼 I literally did all that today and every time I go to the store for those exact reasons you listed.
Yep. It seems that very often, other shoppers are right where I'm about to be, lol. Another thing for me is that ever since Covid, I'm hyper aware of others' breath and germs, yuck,. LOL. Oh and wearing a physical mask during Covid helped me to see how much I enjoy NOT "having" to smile, or even acknowledge, other shoppers, lol ... masking in order to unmask. 🙃😄
God help us all if they have some sort of survey taker or fundraising booth outside the entrance or exit… ☠️
One thing I have noticed recently is that when I am at work and have just finished a digital meeting (a meeting over teams, slack, etc), right after I leave it, I give out a sigh of relief, because I can finally relax, I can finally put down my mask, at least slightly.
Before I noticed that I did this, I didn't even realize how much I mask, even unconsciously, or at least in a way that I didn't think of as masking.
I feel the same way, but for a different reason. I just don’t enjoy talking, particularly to more than 1 person. I enjoy the silence when the meetings are over.
At work I usually wait until no one is in the kitchen so I can go in there make my lunch/grab something without anyone saying anything to me.
Just that extra conversation is too much for me a lot of the time. Especially when all I want is a sandwich.
I am grateful for RUclips. It is allowing all of us to Perceive (be positively influenced by) you while maintaining our space and privacy and respecting yours. Please carry on as you are.
My son goes through this when I drop him off at Pre-K. If the kids say "It's (son's name)" or point out his arrival, he starts yelling "No, leave me alone!" 😭
That’s understandable. I like that he at least feels confident enough to voice the feeling😂
As a child I would say “Don’t look at me!”
I never knew why.
You said This: needing extra time alone to process. YES! And this being perceived as being antisocial. Then being judged for this by other people. Then having to overcompensate and reassure those people that we are not mad, antisocial, that it has nothing to do with them…. Which then exhausts me more. And then I need more time alone to process. Which then gets perceived as antisocial….
The Loop of Doom to Reassure Outside People that they are ok, meanwhile I am not allowed to meet my own needs with everyone overthinking. Silence is not the end of the world. Omg. It is maddening!
Same! When I talk to people, I stop talking if anyone else walks by, and I hate talking in public in general. I also hate making phone calls in public places.
I don't go to the store often, but when I do, I do something similar, I avoid other people and refuse to grab something from the shelf if someone is close by. I have gotten a little better at this over time with practice, but I still struggle with it a lot.
The grocery store cashier recognized me the other day and I felt a little confused and uncomfortable! Mostly try to be invisible.
"err on the side of too much pets"
Instructions unclear, now have 15 cats
I feel that alot. Especially when I cook, when it's my wife's turn to lead I'm happy to take direction, but when it's my turn, I don't want her in the same room. I just want to live my life and not have to answer questions why I made a certain choice.
I resonate with this so strongly. If I'm shopping, walking or even when I'm swimming laps, the thought of being watched actually trips me up and makes me completely lose my coordination.
Its part of being autistic: we're very sensitive. Other people can be "too close."
This is my entire existence. The idea of being able to operate below everyone else's awareness is something I long for--it's just simpler that way
Yes! I totally relate to this! Give me that nonjudgmental space to do the things I need to do! That's sooo annoying! Too many people are just soo comfortable being judgmental of others and expressing that judgment! Like what the heck? Focus on your own self! They have more than enough work in that department. 😂
Omg yes!! I had no idea others feel this way!! I never even had words for this!!
When I get disregulated this gets severe for me. I always have this overwhelming thought that I want to erase myself so completely that not in a moment of deja vu would exist of me. (Not in a dead way, like a magic ring/ reset button kind of way.) Thanks for sharing, it makes a difference.
I get this feeling at work sometimes. I’ll be doing my thing and suddenly have a powerful urge (that I manage to suppress) to close my office door, lock it, turn the lights off and hide-literally, physically hide-under my desk. The aversion to being noticed or approached at that time is just that intense.
oh yeah. I am so thankful for you and your efforts. When I meet people now, I let them know I probably will only want to hangout once, maybe twice in a month. most people are shocked. I'm happy I'm being honest and setting boundaries now. it's still very hard to navigate social stuff still
Oh my.... I ALWAYS make a beeline to the supermarket aisle where there's nobody, even if there's nothing in that aisle I need, and there I breathe myself a fresh new tension-releasing breath of relief. And in the aisles full of obstacles--er, I mean, people, who are variously stationary and perusing or meandering and sending mixed signals what their trajectory is, I instinctively orchestrate my necessary cruise through them, to get what I need, so that it's a single flow, plucking what I need off the shelves with barely a pause while calibrating the trajectory ahead to glide my way like the wind through this "forest" like it's my personal straightaway at the Indy 500.
I feel this way too and am delusional about it. Like I feel like everyone is studying me, waiting for what I’ll say, or just trying to figure me out. In reality, I’m sure no one is but the feeling is real. For this reason, and other social anxieties, I haven’t even been to see my family in over two years.
THIS is why I struggle to leave my house most days...
And don't do social media.
Even leaving comments stresses me out, I will be too honest because, well- I am me- and then I realize other people do read them, and it makes me want to delete every single one I ever left...
I’ve never heard that thing which is huge on my life verbalized!!! Thanks for doing all this work and sharing it with us. I devour your content and sometimes cry because I can relate so hard!!!
Good to know as always, "I'm not alone!"
Definitely do not watch me do anything, it's like another's watching me is screaming so loudly that I have to make it stop. I'm with you on the whole "pick an isle with NO one on it."
I'm busy navigating my way through the store, buying groceries etc and that's enough to deal with. Although, I'm also observing how no one is aware of what they are unware of. We see EVERYTHING! Haha!
You’ve touched on SO much here. The wall used to make me edgy. I’d say I had to go, and I would run and run until the feeling was gone. Cleaning in front of someone combines the perception/judgement with time constraints, and I don’t do well with either. I hate it when people jump to the wrong conclusion about me! I only grocery shop alone. I love grocery shopping. No one else is there, it’s just me in my bubble bopping along and singing to the music, not going down the aisles, and taking my sweet time. I blur out anyone else who happens to be in my path, focussing on things that will make my mouth happy. Strangely, I get my social fix doing this. Anyway, thank you for doing what you do! ❤
Here's something I do that is like a sibling to what you're talking about.
Some I'll all of a sudden feel like I want to disappear for awhile and not be perceived. I'll want to just suddenly leave, go out in nature, be completely alone, and to have no one thinking about me or remembering me. It I'll be like I don't exist to other people. And then after a few hours I am back to normal and not feeling this way anymore.
Omg the grocery store!!! 😂 That's me 💯! I can lose SO much time skipping and returning to aisles & sections just cuz people are in them! I try to shop when no one's there. It's SO much easy / faster / less frustrating. For me I think it's mainly about efficiency and keeping traffic flowing, etc.
One or even a few people is okay, but so few understand how to keep traffic flowing and not obstruct a whole aisle - while yammering nonsensically away on the phone or to each other, taking up 10x more space than they should be, being oblivious of what other people around them need to do (like to shop where they're standing or at least be able to get past them), etc.
I hate talking on the phone in general - but when you mention HATING talking on the phone IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE, I almost dropped to my knees… as with many things that are mentioned in these videos, I kept telling myself “I thought it was just me” and I never could explain why I had such an aversion to it. 💯🙏🏻
Yes, I’ve always been hyper aware of when people are perceiving me. I try not to notice or take it personally. It’s incredibly uncomfortable at times. Thank you
Yep, I know the feeling far too well. But thank goodness, I don't experience it at the grocery store, as I always take exactly the same path. I can almost do it with my eyes closed and, being "blessed" with dyspraxia, that keeps the anxiety under control.
I don't like being focused on. Maybe a trauma response, maybe not.
Oh look at that, more things I do that I blamed on “social anxiety” but may actually be autism!! I hate making phone calls, but not nearly as much as I hate making them in front of someone. I will do anything to avoid it if I possibly can. I also hate people watching me do things. If we’re all doing stuff, fine, but please do not focus on me when I’m trying to do something. This, combined with fear of having to interact with people when I’m not prepared to, even keeps me from doing yard work or gardening that I would otherwise enjoy.
And it’s compounded by me being a woman because part of my anxiety in stores and other public places comes from being harassed by men in the past.
It's somewhat modified with me. If I imagine that people notice me or think I am strange, I don't like being perceived. I grew up in a home where every part of our lives was different than normal people and one thing I especially hated was dressing up in a suit and tie to go to church on Saturday instead of Sunday like other people.
I love shopping at Walmart and don't avoid people at all, except I have a hobby of sometimes dressing for the 19th century, and going in public dressed different than other people still makes me anxious, unless for some reason I want to be noticed.
I love being on stage performing music, usually, so it's all dependent on the situation I guess.
Same I really don’t like being noticed
I hate when my roommates see me anywhere. If we don’t interact the silence is deafening and anxiety-inducing and if we do interact it can be exhausting/overwhelming. Can’t win.
If someone looks at me and I'm eating, it will go all over my face
I've always had this, whether it's out in public, online or other people listening when I'm on the phone. I wish I could get over it.
Thanks for pushing through your discomfort to make such enlightening content. I can tell by the comments your hard work is really helping alot of people. Keep up the good work! ❤
I've always been pacing when on the phone with someone. And I can't stand it when others overhear me talking to someone else on the phone, unless it's actually a conference call. Having video connection makes it better. That never made sense to me until now. I'm quite an outgoing person, I chat up interesting people (politely) in public spaces... but on the phone I feel so awkward!
I have this feeling/fear 24/7 😂
Mom on Spectrum: I feel the same. BUT maybe this can help: People really AREN'T thinking of you / us / others personally. It's not personal. Lots of people are just always trying to gain a reassuring sense of security & certainty from having some certainty / the lillusion of certainty about the people, places, things and situations around them and especially in relation to themselves - or even sometimes as a DISTRACTION from their own things going on with themselves.
So really, that feeling of constantly being judged is more only about THEM - the other people doing that judging and their own need for a sense or illusion of certainty.
People are (generally, most of the time) only concerned with FEELING (they don't REALLY want to know what they're talking about, they just want to FEEL like they do) - just feeling like they have an understanding of the other things and people around them -- and especially in relation to themselves.
I call this control through criticism. If they can judge, criticize, label, categorize, put someone / anyone / everyone / everyone & everything in a box, then they think they know something about someone or some thing that might give them a sense or illusion of control of their situation and environment, life, world, circumstances, and lives (which includes the people in them).
And even weirder, often, because people's outward judgement of others is often about themselves it can even sometimes be an example of projecting - they'll PROJECT their own feelings and perspectives, biases, assumptions, beliefs, etc and - and too often, their very limited understanding and beliefs of people and the world onto others, and this is because it makes it even easier for them to judge and assume and have some illusion of certainty and even control of things outside themselves that they can't control (and shouldn't even try, much less worry about or focus on).
But I think this common tendency falls into the most base primitive human brain need for a sense of certainty about the things and the environment around us that could affect us.
So if possible, try to ignore that feeling of constant unwanted, uninvited judgmental attention directed at you and think of how it's really not about you at all, that many people do that to everyone, and when they do that, it's about THEM, and see if that opens up some freedom, privacy, autonomy and space for you / ourselves.
There's a famous / popular saying that's very true (often falsely attributed to Winston Churchill):
"When I was 20, all I cared about was what people thought of me. When is was 40 I didn't care what people thought of me. When I was 60 I realized people hadn't been thinking of me at all."😂
People might seem like they're focused on you / us, but really they're just focused on themselves / their own world, their wants & needs and problems, etc. Their interest in others is mainly in relation to how those others fit / categorize into their own world.
Anothet good saying is "other people's opinion of me is none of my business." 😂
err on the side of rest, and too much pets 🥰😀
I definitely feel that way too and in many of the same circumstances you mentioned.
I worked with a guy some years ago who said that he found the best way to deal with supermarkets was to deal with the process as if it were a commando raid. Have a plan, dive down the aisles and grab what you need and then you can get out.
Yep. I write my grocery list in the order I will traverse the grocery store and have made it as efficient as possible. No wasted time and minimal anxiety.
@@shamidkpzd Do you wear camo?
I have always been perceived as having a bad attitude and I think it’s just I’m not fake like the neurotypical I do have empathy but I don’t need to fake a thing. It causes a lot of trouble. I feel so overwhelmed by noises and lights and things that most people never even notice.
I can’t put myself online. Thank you for doing so though. Your content is AMAZING ❤ also I was thinking about the goo goo dolls was playing in my mind when you posted this “and I don’t want the world to see me…”
Oh, my gosh- this!!! I’m not insecure, I’m not shy. It’s more of an emotional load I need to put down pretty regularly. I wonder if it’s a matter of over-elastic empathy.
I like your term 'over-elastic empathy'. I think you're right.
What you said about avoid aisles at the grocery store with people? I do that all the time!! Thanks for sharing.
Yes!!! My ex kinda forced me into the public life when I was breaking records and I’ve purposely let my social decline because I while he loved the attention, I HATED it!
So many people wonder why I don’t try to post on my platforms harder because I have good content & ideas and well, cool feats of strength to show off, but I just freeze and will go a month or two without doing much other than, well, what I’m doing now.
I want to just disappear! Sometimes it’s in my social platforms, sometimes it’s for real. I just want to be where no one knows me and no one can see me at times.
But I’m like this with a lot of things - training can be a big challenge. I love teaching & training others because it takes the spot light off of me while allowing me to do what I love. But then the moment my clients realize I’m way stronger, they beg me to train with them and I don’t mind for them, but eventually it turns into a circus - a fun one, but one that I know will drain me. So if the gym is too busy, I’ll forgo my own training just to avoid being seen.
I love dry erase boards too and just throwing any and all ideas on them - it gets them out of my head and onto something I can visually see so it helps me prioritize them. But I live with my partner now & he likes to pick on me about it - not in a mean way, but he likes to ask me to explain my abbreviations and so on - but a simple word on my board could mean a research paper worth of information so the entire idea is stressful to me 🤦🏽♀️.
It’s getting better though, I balance it with trying to push through but also letting those around me know my sensitivities and social issues & it usually helps - most people are pretty accommodating. But I have had to cut some people off for not respecting these things about me aka boundaries.
I agree, but mine is just when I am feeling bothered.
Anothet good saying is "other people's opinion of me is none of my business." 😂
I thought I was the only one overwhelmed grocery shopping by all the other people! It’s so exhausting just trying to navigate all of the choices and the route to take and the timing (for frozen food and things that need refrigerating), plus the overhead lights, the buzzing from all the freezers and things… I get so overwhelmed my husband doesn’t understand why.
Whenever I go home from work the journey from my office to the first floor is always, always traumatizing. Most of the time I just wish that I don’t encounter anyone in the aisle or elevator, coupled with the fear that I am obliged to make some small talk on the way down. The best days are when I don’t encounter anyone but it’s rare unfortunately.
I couldn’t agree more! I like being around people, but I want to be invisible and not perceived by them or interact with them, unless I make the first move.
Your cat having too many pets made me laugh. Even though it didn’t communicate with you prior to let you know, it was _done_ with the prts, shut down and escaped/left the situation, even though you’re a safe person to be around.
In addition to being perceived, I don’t want my family of origin, who I’ve been no contact with for over fifteen years, to have any information on me either, which is why I don’t do a channel of my own…along with being unable to be consistent.
However, when I find a post on instagram or youtube that I relate to, I tend to trauma dump into ‘short story long’. 😂
Yes, same! Especially with the phone calls. That is extremely uncomfortable
Hell yeah!!! I felt that in church and everyone at church thought I was weird. They all hold hands in a circle at the end and I would feel SO SEEN... early Sunday morning... and I hated It!! I was the only one!!
Lol Taylor! When you started the video by saying “sometimes we just run into a wall” and then you paused slightly, I was like “yeah, I totally relate to unexpectedly and embarrassingly just running into the wall/door/table/desk, etc.” because that happens to me quite frequently 🤣….but then you kept going…😂😂😂 but YES, I totally relate to this in all of the ways you describe here.
I was looking for this comment lol!! My first thoughts exactly!! Sometimes we just run into a wall *pause* hahaha Taylor gets us!! 😂👏🏽
+momonthespectrum *As an autist whom the school systems o' the late-20th-Century United States failed, I'm witness to five decades of immature resources.* When manoeuvering aisles in a supermarket, I tend to eschew blockage myself; I go through any clear aisles that lack blocks.
Yes, I know that feeling and I remember that I felt like that as a child. If I manage to make a phone call (because very often I can’t), I have to be completely alone for it. The door has to be closed, the window has to be closed. And afterwards I am exhausted and sweaty. And I don’t like to eat with too many people around or when I don’t have enough space around me. I guess many of these things led to me being misdiagnosed with social anxiety.
Holy cow. This is Excellent! I could say more. I think also bc it can lock us into situations or relationships or people pleasing that is not healthy for us , bc really we do “ go with the flow” & adapt to situations of suffering and contingencies alit more than anyone freaking knows. I think that is partially an explanation for why close family situations can be completely unbearable and filled with almost impossible obligations. I could keep talking here. I am so happy and grateful that I am a Mom though. I am talking more about parents and siblings from my family of birth, or an abusive husband, situations like that. ❤😊Noelle .
Thank you for putting it into the words I don't have. ❤
I love your videos. You have amazing depth, analysis, and experience to share! As someone who is likely on the spectrum (self diagnosed at this point in the game), what has really helped me, after going through intense research on ASD and how it plays a part in my life, is also remember to not associate every single behavior, whether it is considered abnormal or can interfere with healthy functioning, as necessarily part of being on the spectrum. I found myself doing that a lot, when I recently discovered I am likely on the spectrum, and have had to catch myself and remember not to fully reduce my being, my behvaviors, basically everything I do, to ASD. It can be a nice clean explanation, but it also felt like it was a reductionist viewpoint, as though I was reducing everything about me to be a part of ASD. And it's very like people on the spectrum to become experts in topics they find fascinating! Such as ASD itself. So of course it's easy to start looking for all of those possible associations... I just found it really helpful to understand that I am also more the ASD. It's a part of me, yes, and can explain a LOT of my behaviors, but I really try to remember that not every single behavior and/or thought and/or trait can be summed up to ASD. Just my two cents. I wasn't aware of how much I was reducing myself to ASD before, and was over analyzing my behaviors to think that every single thing wasn't me, but was ASD, and now that I have taken a step back, I feel a bit more... what's the word... whole again. I have ASD, but I am not ASD, and ASD is not in everything I do. Again, just my thoughts on this. Love hearing always what you have to say! xoxo
Never enough pets!
Yes!!! Made me cry! Thank you thank you thank you.
Wow, I resonate with this strongly, especially the grocery store experience. TY for a Beltre visit too.
I have so many ideas for videos that I would like to make, but I haven't started a single one for this *exact reason.*
I admire your courage!
Eer on the side of rest and too much pets - got it! 🙂
You have just put into words something I have struggled with when I want to create a video. I have an idea and want to do it, but just can’t. And even when I can do it, I do not want anyone to watch me film it!! So funny to say it. And I am so relieved to not be alone. I’ve been making videos for YEARS and still struggle with this.
You are a fantastic creator I've learned such a lot from you re:my recently diagnosed 32year old daughter
Keep up the good work
I think my bypass for this is realizing that I don't care about the random people floating by (not literally floating), and these people care about the same amount about me. They won't notice me for longer than a half second, and will remember me for less time than that. As long as I'm not overtly being different then I'm safe, and sometimes even my facial tics will be missed.
I hate phone calls and conversations with people I don't know because it takes so much effort to process what I've heard and formulate a response that makes sense and isn't offensive. Because if unchecked my mouth will say offensive things before my brain can say no.
I dressed up really nice and wore a tank top. I went to my favourite silent cafe where I study every weekend. That day though, suddenly, everyone looking at me was the absolute LAST thing I wanted and I could not stand anyone's gaze. I walked for hours to try and find a cafe where no one would look at me and fit my lighting needs. There were hundreds of cafes on that route. None of them fit me like the cafe I ran from. That is why I picked it in the first place and wanted to look good in it.
Makes sense to me. Just found out I"m autistic. I'm 39.
❤I think you're doing great!!! So helpful.
I always tell my partner to put on headphones when I'm recoding a video. 😅😅
Thanks Mom! So I’m not the only person that shops the empty aisles first (people not shelves)?!?!?!
I've had the alone part for quite a while, now. So much to figure out.
Also, I can completely relate to the way you say things, and explain things. Even words that you use sometimes or little phrases are things that I say. It's like looking at a mirror of a beautiful reflection of me. I know that sounds weird. I am not trying to. Have a blessed day.
They say our phones are listening to us all the time… my boyfriend and I were talking about this exact thing recently, and I’ve heard other Autistic people claim this also.
For me, it’s likely tied around RSD and BDD which is heavily tied into Perfectionism and my own internalized ableism.
Omg I do the same thing in the grocery store😂 I will peak around each aisle and if I see anyone at all I will race to the next one and repeat the process until I find an aisle with no one 😭
Thank you Taylor 😊❤
You’re welcome 🙏🏼 thanks for your comment
I feel like it's related to all the other Times that we have been perceived and rejected Or not accepted for who we are as we are.
I think you're amazing!!
I can totally relate.
I cannot relate to this so much than the other things in this video series, however, I really crave some alone-time. Even during the pandemic, living with just my significant other and working remotely, I need to regularly just to go to my room and close the door, or even get away to a cottage for a few days. That might help me to self-regulate so that I don't get so much of this. With familiar people, I actually _like_ being the center of attention. However, in a situation where I could be judged or don't really know what I'm doing, then I absolutely don't want to be watched by others. And like I wrote in another comment, because of my last name, during education times, I was so often the first person to do whatever, and had not yet a chance to learn from other people's performance, which I used to really hate. Though also being among the last people would have built the nervousness so I think something like being after a handfl of other people would have been the optimal slot.
Same. To all of this
That pesky feeling of having thrown your life away into the garbage can for nothing (because some cult member thought it was a good idea). 🙂
Cults are interesting. Which one are you referring to?
@@heatherrae901 Some fake nice subcult inside the freemasons or jesuits.
@@heatherrae901 I already replied to this, but...
Thanks for making this video
Idk. But *I* like you! Not that a positive feeling helps when you don't want any, whether positive or negative. And I guess I should clarify WHAT I like. Which is, your body language mostly matches mine. The way you move matches me. ND palls!
I most notice this kind of thing when perception is unexpected. For example, if I am in my family room and the front door starts to get unlocked by somebody coming home, and I am able to be seen from the door, then I move where I am, or literally go hide in the laundry room or something. I've always done this since I was a kid. It's like I felt I was hiding in bushes and tree cover and suddenly I'm vulnerable to the outside world.
I think the older you get the less and less you care about what anyone sees or thinks.
I’d agree to some extent. Everybody is different. I’m in my 50s and over the years I’ve found ways to cope with the anxiety of being perceived. On a good day, I can push the anxiety away and ignore it. On a bad day it restricts my actions. The frequency of good days has definitely increased as I’ve got older but that feeling of being perceived is with me every day.
I've got 6 tiny youtube channels, and I hate the idea that I have to 'be the brand' if I want any of them to go anywhere. i wanna talk about my intrests, and know there are others who can share that intrest. I don't want it to be about me.
This may seem like a strange answer, but in my head, I'm always running simulations, and it can be hard to equate one's self into the simulation without running into all sorts of simulation-destabilizing variations. Modelling the external world can become cognitively challenging when factoring one's own actions and reactions into the mix.
For me, it's not so much that I am being Perceived, it's more a matter of anxiety that I might be forced to Interact, or be in the way while I'm trying to sort through what I'm doing, or that any conversation will veer off script which is stressful, and due to some bullying experiences Im very uncomfortable with people I don't know being within about 6 feet of me so I've got some hypervigilance going on. It's a complicated mess.
Keep petting your cat if it makes you feel good 😌. The cat will appreciate it, too 😂! Animals love to be petted. For instance, I love to pet my sister’s dogs. They’re so soft and cute 🥰, and it makes me feel good 😌. They like it, too.
As for grocery stores, I’m mostly just trying to avoid being hit by a shopping cart 🛒 😮! People tend to get too close to each other, in these environments. After quarantine, people just forget how to behave in public.
❤
It’s why I could never be a content creator!
I experienced this yesterday. I was overwhelmed, oversensitized, and usually, I shut down to process and recharge. However, yesterday, I had meltdowns because being alone was not an option. It exhausted me, and it was scary. I saw parts of myself that I almost didn't recognize, I remember these moments from when I was younger and immersed in so much trauma with no way to escape. Does anyone understand what I'm talking about?
I don't mind being perceived by small number of people I'm comfortable with, but I hate being perceived by strangers or any larger group of people. Even when they're trying to be nice and acknowledge something positive, or introduce me to the group, etc, I hate it.
It's sad that almost all the symptoms of anxiety are commonly thought of as autistic traits, this being a perfect example. It's because almost all of us have anxiety. It's such a common autistic experience that people forget where autism ends and anxiety begins. Something needs to be done about this. We shouldn't have to live with all this anxiety. The world at the moment isn't even close to being tolerable, safe and accessible for us, and almost nobody understands or respects us. We need to change that. We have a month. It's April. It's just gone but it comes around every year. The queer community has a month, but the difference is they make the most of it. Look how much progress the queer community has made. That was fought for. It didn't just happen on its own. We need to fight to make this world an easier place to simply exist as a neurodivergent person. Oh but that's difficult isn't it, because of the anxiety, the executive dysfunction and the overstimulation. All of us who can should at least do something about it.
I have the same fear. I also have family and friends around the little community that I live in that treat me and look at me like poor old Robbie. He's touched. They are freaking crazy.I have been through some extreme experiences here and I am dealing with a group of narcissist family members and guess what. I am the family scapegoat. Is this common for neurodivergent people who have great empathy for others ? I have heard other people talking about this some. Geez my IQ is approximately 140 and I have people who's is probably 110 looking at me like something is wrong with me. Is it just me. Probably, the only thing that will change this situation is if I relocate again. I should be able to rest here and to be happy. Not so sure about that.