Narcissist Hate It When You Take Care Of Yourself

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  • Опубликовано: 7 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 133

  • @jacquelinefroehle3583
    @jacquelinefroehle3583 Год назад +60

    They are haters. They watch the target to see how they can destroy your life. No contact is check mate.

  • @mrunmayideshmukh6014
    @mrunmayideshmukh6014 Год назад +16

    Yes. All the time. I was very confused initially but then I understood the pattern. Anything that makes my life happy or better in anyway is not allowed and will not be tolerated.
    Narcissist will hate your hard work because that means that you might end up having achievements and satisfaction. They will try to stop you with drama, fake emergencies, using foul language, emotional blackmail, etc

  • @Shetoosweet
    @Shetoosweet Год назад +1

    Yes. He hated anytime I liked to groom myself and look good because it made me feel good and happy.

  • @karenirvine2397
    @karenirvine2397 Год назад +16

    I was with a narcissist for 41 years. I could never put my finger on his behavior until I looked up complex PTSD. When I found the videos on complex PTSD, along came the videos about narcissism and how they go hand in hand. Every time we got into an argument, he would go into extreme ways of getting attention. One time he went out to dinner with his sister after we got in an argument and fell at the restaurant and hit his head and an ambulance had to be called. He also totaled two cars because of his stubbornness. Both times we had an argument and he didn't get his way so he tried to cause me pain by acting like an idiot. He tried to do the reverse discard on me to get me to leave from all his narcissistic abuse. I stayed with him because he became disabled 16 years ago and I didn't want to leave him due to my wedding vows in sickness and in health. He ended up discarding me by filing for divorce last year. He tried to get me kicked out of our house and I ended up getting to keep the house because I have a great lawyer. He also thought that he was going to get to keep his retirement. In Illinois, it is the law that the spouse gets half of everything. I am now going through the QDRO process. His lawyer told him that he would get the keep everything. His lawyer was another idiot narcissist who turned my husband against me. Karma is going to get all the people that they hurt. Back in 2019, he served me with divorce papers at work to try to embarrass me. His parents drove past our house while I was getting groceries out of the car by myself with no help and laughed at me. Within 15 months his mother died and his dad went into a dementia center. I spoke to a priest about this and he agreed that it is totally karma for what they did to me. Total no contact is the best way to go to have peace in your life.

  • @lucymurphy2038
    @lucymurphy2038 Год назад +1

    I can totally relate to every word! I'm trying so hard to heal and get back to me but I feel like I have had every morsel of energy from my body.
    I'm trying though and I appreciate all the advice and support. I calculated all the good things that I have done to make myself feel better in this relationship (as in work, dance, study, etc) and he absolutely strategically sabotaged it all over the six years. So poorly but happy to be seeing the need for no contact and freedom. Thank you ❤️

  • @laurabriscoe1
    @laurabriscoe1 Год назад +1

    On all levels yes. The most significant example was him interrupting me whilst I was meditating (at the beginning of our relationship, as I gave it up due to his jealousy over my time for myself). He knew meditation means so much to me and it’s literally 10 minutes of my day. He’d come in and start hugging me in the middle of it. Biggest red flag. 6 months including an assault and I was out

  • @lisbethbird8268
    @lisbethbird8268 Год назад +2

    Absolutely true. I remember one fake emergency that was literally a mosquito bite. Ruined my plans for the whole day. She had uncontrolled bleeding from scratching. I coached her via text, because I had already told her I wasn't having any more 3 hr. phone sessions in the middle of productivity time. All she wanted was attention and to undermine me. What an idiot I was. (By the way, a drop of superglue works great to stop bleeding of small cuts.)

  • @kelseyhargroves2125
    @kelseyhargroves2125 Год назад +13

    After years I realized why it became harder for me to do basic self care things. It took serious mental gymnastics for me to understand why I started to panic and become overwhelmed at the thought of taking that time for myself and it was because my spouse had created consequences for me when I did. This man would either accuse me "jokingly" of doing these things for vanity or for someone besides myself and when I started rejecting that response it changed to he suddenly forgot how to properly take care of the kids, allowing "emergencies" to happen while I was taking less than MINIMUM time to do literally anything for myself (shower, eat, etc). He would also act like a hero for "helping" me with these things that and other times would act (subtly) like I was a burden for needing any help with these things which he had conditioned me to need his help with. Fucked up I know 🙄 took me some years of serious mental gymnastics to even figure out this was going on and why I was so miserable.

    • @davidsutliff8312
      @davidsutliff8312 Год назад +3

      Oh wow almost sounds like exactly what I'm still going through with my wife. She accused me the other day of needing medication because I couldn't handle her mental abuse. Lol imagine

  • @leonagibson9693
    @leonagibson9693 Год назад +3

    Yes I most certainly did. When I started to try to take back control of my life and better myself and my health, he broke the relationship off and said I was not there for him. And I told him that was fine and that I hope he had a good life, he started to pull his little narcissistic antics. I never went back

  • @harrismario9113
    @harrismario9113 Год назад +8

    Yes had to be with her 24/7 though it was long distance, even while sleeping i had to wear my earphones, even if one day I don't sleep with her she abandon me, full of chaos and crazy. Now on Full no contact, living in peace.

  • @Lil-Lotus111
    @Lil-Lotus111 Год назад +34

    Absolutely. They're jealous of everyone and everything that would take attention off of them. They're like perpetual 2 year olds. Everything must revolve around their wants and needs or you'll get to experience their temper tantrum. A 6'2", 230 lb 2 yr old can be terrifying. 😬

    • @iamaleo247
      @iamaleo247 Год назад +2

      Love the description 😂…..
      But you’re absolutely correct!💯

    • @priyankaramani5399
      @priyankaramani5399 Год назад

      57 year old lady is more terrifyingly to be a 2 year old 😮😮

  • @Trovato.j14
    @Trovato.j14 Год назад +18

    I just broke up with my narcissist, and yes I can relate to this. I have so much to catch up on because of this reason whether it was my bills I was trying to do or just talk on the phone and those are just little things I can’t even remember everything that he interrupted me with it took me six months to get him out of my house and he still comes back but that’s another story all the things he’s driving me crazy with and he’s out of my house

    • @sitascott8446
      @sitascott8446 Год назад

      @Jeri Trovato Congratulations on your recent progress!

  • @sugarsnap1000
    @sugarsnap1000 Год назад +7

    This is true up until the devaluation stage kicks in and their attention is redirected elsewhere, leaving you exhausted and wondering what happened

  • @btsmith
    @btsmith Год назад +3

    This is definitely true, they create so many spot emergencies and put you in a direct position to support them some how.

  • @longislandny696
    @longislandny696 Год назад

    YES & YES 🙌,my now ex narcissist husband hit the table when I told him I was going to sign up to join the gym. I’m SO happy & proud of myself for kicking that demon to the curb.

  • @jaijai8829
    @jaijai8829 Год назад +7

    Yes!!! Absolutely true!! He take every minute of my time, always demand my attentiin for somethig, always calling my name when i go in another room,i could barely take a bath or brush my teeth! I thank God i lived like this only one month, i was exhausted!! They are a complete nightmare! Escape and go no contact!!

  • @rachelthompson7487
    @rachelthompson7487 Год назад

    Yes they always have to criticize or tell me what to do and how to do it. Very contoling. Also what and what not to wear.

  • @manasmaity2867
    @manasmaity2867 Год назад +1

    All of your video Statements are so very Correct and True👌👌👌👍👍

  • @darleneleblanc3940
    @darleneleblanc3940 Год назад

    You are so accurate,keep going!!

  • @paulawhitfield1503
    @paulawhitfield1503 Год назад +3

    Absolutely!! They are haters. Very jealous hearted.

  • @daylenestaneart775
    @daylenestaneart775 Год назад +6

    Being called when the boss knows I’ve taken the day off. And then being pressured to come in because some drama can’t be fixed without me. 🙄

  • @jewel5622
    @jewel5622 Год назад +1

    I experience this act of the narcissist that used to be in my life, at the time I had no idea what was going on but educating myself through your videos has taught me so much thank you

  • @genaiawoods2731
    @genaiawoods2731 Год назад

    You make it make since i can see clearly now. Thank you i love your content.

  • @Tenzin62
    @Tenzin62 Год назад +3

    I was having therapy. And my therapist told me to have one day a month completely devotes to myself and self care. The therapist called it ‘the asking myself out for a date’. So I planned a day in London. I was going to leave early, have breakfast in the city. Go walk round a gallery, eat in a nice restaurant and then go to the cinema/ So I told everyone who needed to know that on this particular day my phone would be switched off and I wouldn’t be available to them. The day I left to go to the train station and start the day, at 7 in the morning the narcissist called me. I gently reminded her of my plan and I hung up and switched off the phone. Around 1pm I switched the phone back on due to my concern in case something happened at home. There were literally twenty messages from her all urgent. So I called her. She sounded scared and panicked and begged me to get a taxi and come to her house there had been a terrible fight between her sons and she was going to call the police. I rushed to her house. When I got there she was sitting on her couch smoking, she didn’t even look up at me when I came in the room. She pointed to the stairs and said, “John (her teenage son) wants you to help him clean up his bedroom”. What about this fight, I asked. She scrunched up her face in a smirk and said, looks like you are overreacting again. You always do that, you like it when I have trouble. I just walked up the stair and meekly cleaned the boys trashed room. She didn’t want me to have a day to myself because she wanted someone to clean her house. I am free of her now and it’s been three years. She was awful.

  • @Carmella64
    @Carmella64 Год назад

    In my experience with two relationships, I later realized they ENCOURAGED me to take weekend girl trips or out of state family visits. This gave them unhindered opportunity to spend time with their side supplies.

  • @FK-cg8el
    @FK-cg8el Год назад +1

    Yes I remember going out to get a dress and sent them short video
    And they said your happy aren't you I said yes Ofc
    Then they said something and took that smile out my face 😢

  • @jazminolivari5554
    @jazminolivari5554 Год назад

    Experienced all the above! Thanks for sharing as always!❤️🙏

  • @MrGearoid65
    @MrGearoid65 Год назад

    Yes and I did everything for them... They always had another disaster or tragedy or drama about to happen. It was unbelievable.

  • @nimisharanjan7554
    @nimisharanjan7554 Год назад

    Yes very very true... Experienced tremendous times

  • @ishrathahmed8077
    @ishrathahmed8077 Год назад

    Yes exactly u r absolutely right,and am going through this worst relationship

  • @huyenthi-mariango
    @huyenthi-mariango Год назад +12

    Yes! A friendship with a Vulnerable/Covert is draining. I dropped everything everytime she had her regular emotional emergencies to "rescue" her. Somehow they usually corresponded with my free time. This went on for a few years. I thought I was being a good friend, until one day, she must've forgotten that I was standing in front of her in person. She started fake crying, no tears, just to change the direction of the conversation. The moment I reacted & acquiesced to what she wanted, she stopped mid-cry & went about making her drink as if she wasn't "crying hysterically" the moment before. Her kid learned how to do the same from her example 🙄

  • @videovuer
    @videovuer Год назад

    Just went thru a situation with the teacher of a course I'm taking. She made a last minute change of time for the class the day before Thanksgiving provoking a crisis that generated a big & confusing email thread with several people adding responses. I saw it as a phony crisis & a distraction from my work, I opted out. As you said, I think I'm being cast as the bad & abandoning one.

  • @patriciatoomingtheplantpar2558
    @patriciatoomingtheplantpar2558 Год назад +1

    He got me a few times when I haf my business, i need help the lawn mower is stuck, it won't start.
    Close up my business, go home pick up what ever tools he needed go to his destination only to find he managed to get the machine up on the trailer, no call, don't wait, no apologies, nothing, this happened ½ a dozen times.
    So now when he calls I just say to him, thats too bad, tough situation, I'm sure like the other times you'll figure it out. Right now I'm too busy to make it my priority.
    WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
    Not running around to find your not stuck after all... click

  • @ΜαρίαΣταυροπούλου-γ8φ

    Oh yes!!! I became the "bad" and the "abandoning"one when I decided to attend free post graduate studies and managed to turn our teenage kids against me for quite a while... Mindfulness, I guess, is the key to getting away with it all, maintaining our sanity. Bless you Danish!!!

  • @priyankasarkar4873
    @priyankasarkar4873 Год назад

    Every experience of my life matched from ur videos i came to d term for d first time bt seen that everything matched which i suffering..ur valuable efforts helps me to stay away from that kind of person..u helped me makes me strong emotionally..thank you so much..

  • @maryelizabeth8058
    @maryelizabeth8058 Год назад +1

    I love your RUclips channel...
    I live with a narc....
    who hates it when I take care of myself there's jealousy theres the silent treatment, dirty looks hateful stairs .....
    I just want to be the best version of myself and love people the way God intended me to .....
    and this narc hates it...
    the narc has an emotional temper tantrum and acts like an infant;
    When he is not getting his own way they want to control in an unhealthy way ...
    that is toxic.
    I get abused emotionally I'm going no contact right now and someday I'll be free from this narc😍 I want to be around people that I can love and be loved by...
    I hate the stares those angry demonic stares👁👁 thank you for your channel it helps so much.🌹🌹🌹

    • @operation8825
      @operation8825 Год назад

      Who is the mastermind behind it.
      In my case my Father & Yours?

  • @davidsutliff8312
    @davidsutliff8312 Год назад +1

    Thank you as always for your insight and daily reminders! I enjoy your longer videos much more. 😉

  • @misspoliticallyincorrect2081
    @misspoliticallyincorrect2081 Год назад +1

    I began working out finally after years of saying i was going to do so and i couldnt understand why he wasnt happy for me. He showed zero support and interest even when i asked how i was doing clearly seeking some positive reinforcement from him and yeah he would say things that would instead discourage me like i see no change, youre not losing any weight etc. even tho i clearly knew i was. Eventually i stopped and really wish i didnt. Im also not allowed to join a gym because he doesnt want me working out around men and he thinks im doing it just for attention rather than it being somewhere that would motivate me to stay on track and work out longer than i would at home as i have access to so much more equipment. I also sweat profusely when working out and would dress much more modest, not how girls these days dress at the gum, so i dont see what hes so worried about. Id look more like a gymbro lol 😅

    • @beautifullyblessedandnatur7457
      @beautifullyblessedandnatur7457 5 месяцев назад

      Keep going and reach your health goal. If he is not your husband, he has no business telling you how to manage your health.

  • @828findadventure
    @828findadventure Год назад +7

    My narcissist mother text me every day while me and my family are on vacation. When asked to stop she creates an emergency. When I cut that off I’m the awful person that treats her horrible, and then when I don’t respond she blames my wife. LOL

  • @anetaromanowska5564
    @anetaromanowska5564 Год назад

    Yes , they always find a way to make you feel bad when you try to take care after myself. And to grow and upskill. They always find the way to feel you bad about it. And the worse fact is that they do it in very gentle way sometimes as if nothing actually happened except for the fact that you actually from being happy become sad after their comment.

  • @createa.googleaccount713
    @createa.googleaccount713 Год назад

    OMG!!! YES! YES & Yes!!!! Huge Thank you!!!!!

  • @cut_the_crapp
    @cut_the_crapp Год назад +2

    The moment I show that I am going to be myself and only myself, regardless of what they think of me, whether they like it or not, they get enraged. They even tried to sort of bribe me, to buy me with promises of doing things for me, if I deviate from my own path, to make me change and become something they want. When I most definitely refused to do so, they cut me off, stopped speaking to me. 🕉️

  • @soulandhuman
    @soulandhuman Год назад

    Totally experienced this!

  • @betchayb
    @betchayb Год назад

    yes it happens to me now ,i try to be independent and my narcisst partner makes me the bad on ,you are right 😌

  • @eva4adam451
    @eva4adam451 Год назад +1

    Yez 100 %
    Last year I did not play 1 note on my violin due to the narcisit in my house.
    I kicked him out. Next week i will play Micado on stage.
    Evil people
    Narcist

  • @sandbachmerrygold8558
    @sandbachmerrygold8558 Год назад +7

    My ex shit narc husband always devalue me telling me i look old and should care for myself and do a make over.I finally took an appointment to care for my skin st a clinic he felt jealous and start phoning and keeps talking about his job and fake emergencies.

  • @lennyluzitano8920
    @lennyluzitano8920 Год назад

    Yes absolutely...just before band rehearsal on Saturday...all off a sudden.. I can't go because she is sick..or depressed...etc..

  • @laurieanne3779
    @laurieanne3779 Год назад

    Ohhhh yes docteur,all the time 😢
    He was even Jealous of he’s own children because he always wants my Attention😢

  • @judepeters5301
    @judepeters5301 Год назад

    Yes!! I have and am!! And its more sadistic And twisted! All is very correct but there are levels😢😭

  • @anniejac507
    @anniejac507 Год назад

    Absolutely correct👍

  • @namrathasaldanha3977
    @namrathasaldanha3977 Год назад

    I have - every single day I go thru this

  • @MKhan-uv5kt
    @MKhan-uv5kt Год назад

    Wow! This is so true!!!!!!

  • @01splitpea
    @01splitpea Год назад

    You're right yet again, Danish Bashir.

  • @realdealprimer
    @realdealprimer Год назад

    Very true. My experience

  • @tiffanyflinn8105
    @tiffanyflinn8105 Год назад

    Spot on and it is exhausting.Infants are easier than a narcissist.

  • @001Broadway
    @001Broadway Год назад +1

    🤣🤣🤣...its funny because i said to the one i was seeing even 2 months ago those exact same words(we were only seeing each other for 5 months,i saw right through him) "that i dont have any serious issues right now, but i do have big goals in life and i would like to be the best version of myself, thats why im visiting psychotherapist". And i also said i was going to the gym for the last 3 months 3 times a week etc... and that was 2 weeks before i blocked him on everything... its funny to think about it now, the steam must have been coming out of his ears...i didnt even know then it was about narcissism, i just thought he was an asshole, but i undoubtedly knew that something is off on bis head and hia behaviour.

  • @annabellmartin2730
    @annabellmartin2730 Год назад

    yes I have experienced it and finally my narcissistic husband abandoned me. Thank God feel so relieved

  • @Bluecloudprod
    @Bluecloudprod Год назад

    I've been getting the slow kill from a covert...
    I feel stupid that I didn't see it at the beginning.

  • @patriciaberrocal258
    @patriciaberrocal258 Год назад +4

    Yes, ¡I lived that before!

  • @sangeetagupta1781
    @sangeetagupta1781 Год назад

    Yes experienced it.

  • @deeboolove1301
    @deeboolove1301 Год назад +1

    THANKYOU 💌😆

  • @sitascott8446
    @sitascott8446 Год назад

    Not all the time. But I agree that this is true, the majority of the time

  • @Beachclub463
    @Beachclub463 Год назад +1

    Yes I have.

  • @mukttamahajan524
    @mukttamahajan524 Год назад +1

    Yes always

  • @annettefideler4157
    @annettefideler4157 Год назад

    exactly 💯 agree!!

  • @Yok3r
    @Yok3r Год назад

    10000% accurate!

  • @thehotcoffeehouse6081
    @thehotcoffeehouse6081 Год назад

    My retired covert narc mother sent me 4 invitations to various " luncheon" type events in december one year ..when I told her " I cannot attend any of those, I'm working full time plus i have my own family holiday obligations", she became enraged...she had ZERO consideration for my work needs, and my serious time constraints that month; and it was supposed to be 100% about these well meaning but utterly useless ( to me) " luncheon" events with speakers on topics I don't care about, etc.
    I'd been to dozens of these with her over the years, but finally put my foot down on these ones...she just went ballistic.

  • @dianakroenke4013
    @dianakroenke4013 Год назад

    Yes I get ridiculed or told how self indulgent i am

  • @jamminnoble
    @jamminnoble Год назад

    Truth 💯

  • @AnnaGMI-2023
    @AnnaGMI-2023 Год назад

    So true, 🙏🫶🪷👍

  • @sheablast9592
    @sheablast9592 Год назад +2

    Yes been down that road before

  • @vatsalfest
    @vatsalfest Год назад

    My narc parents has been doing this for the past so many years

  • @JohnSmith-wo7ns
    @JohnSmith-wo7ns Год назад

    She would actually not like it if I was in a good mood. She'd ask whats wrong with you, it would make me self conscious and would cause an atmosphere.

  • @tanu.rashmi.7761
    @tanu.rashmi.7761 Год назад

    Yes I have felt this... In my marriage.... What should I do...

  • @beverlytaylor1745
    @beverlytaylor1745 Год назад

    I would often say that we both lived one life - his.

  • @beautifulisraelite4579
    @beautifulisraelite4579 Год назад +2

    Yeah, that happened to me, but thanks to THE GOD OF ISRAEL IM ALRIGHT 😇💜💯, HALLELUYAH ALLELUIA AMEN

  • @Ratlagelunatic
    @Ratlagelunatic Год назад

    Yes mine Would always come up with some emergency weather roses heart or he was hurt or he was sick after even he would yell at me he would say all that he was ill and that I needed to come to be with him it was just another tactics for me to feel sorry for him

  • @user-ey4rc5tu4t
    @user-ey4rc5tu4t Год назад

    True.

  • @agneskanayo8906
    @agneskanayo8906 Год назад

    Very very very true man! THE ALMIGHTY GOOD LORD GOD THAT I SERVE DELIVER FROM THE NARCISSIST HUSBAND THAT I AM MARRIED TO IN JESUS MIGHTY NAME AMEN 🙏

  • @realdealprimer
    @realdealprimer Год назад

    Going through this now

  • @harikrishnansreekumar9951
    @harikrishnansreekumar9951 Год назад

    I used to.

  • @hiramustafa469
    @hiramustafa469 Год назад

    Yes I faced a narcissistic husband

  • @Angelic102
    @Angelic102 Год назад

    Yes they will try distract u by making a fight out of nothing 👹

  • @robertnixon9765
    @robertnixon9765 Год назад

    it's unending

  • @lysas781
    @lysas781 Год назад

    If it’s a sibling they feel that you represent them so they want you to look good and be fit though.

  • @MsMushu123
    @MsMushu123 Год назад

    Absolutely

  • @ShazaTehseen
    @ShazaTehseen Год назад

    True true true

  • @korcampbell6096
    @korcampbell6096 Год назад +1

    But how do they pretend so well

  • @ammitlakwani4638
    @ammitlakwani4638 Год назад +2

    True.....

    • @pamelajordan2890
      @pamelajordan2890 Год назад +1

      in my experience the fact that your asking the question, is a good sign your not.

  • @obi5025
    @obi5025 Год назад

    This is true

  • @mamabear349
    @mamabear349 Год назад

    Yes...100%

  • @MissMyBabyLove
    @MissMyBabyLove Год назад

    My mother told me that how come i have time 9 months pregnant to go to the hair salon but not to visit her and my dad this after 3 months of not speaking beacuse they kicked me and my husband out of our home,the house is in their name.

  • @nayanrmesh2870
    @nayanrmesh2870 Год назад

    Yess!

  • @MorgueInTheVoid
    @MorgueInTheVoid Год назад

    UGH THISSSSSSSSSS

  • @aliceidiculay1841
    @aliceidiculay1841 Год назад

    Yes

  • @vickyharrell3839
    @vickyharrell3839 Год назад

    yes

  • @dtanner70
    @dtanner70 Год назад

    Yes fake an hospital emergency to stop a trip to a friend wedding

  • @waterisgold
    @waterisgold Год назад

    Truthhhhhh

  • @kimberlymcneal8195
    @kimberlymcneal8195 Год назад

    Who are you wearing makeup for? What are you dressing up for? Who you trying to empress??? My god like me tf alone man damn 😩

  • @renaekomar3677
    @renaekomar3677 Год назад

    Absolutely just now this morning I should be looking for a place to live I have no guess but he cash at me $15 to get down to savage and be at his backing cost taking up for him on wages that you know hes not getting or things that I'm getting paid and he threw me under the bus by saying I live with my mother rent free I'm not asking you to come live down here with me oh really cause guess what I left and this time it's for good