Hey all! I just wnated to add a disclaimer that I know me talking about doing laundry came off super priveleged lmao I'm really sorry, it really is just a point of contention for me and my brain! I also wanted to link a page that has all of the mental health hotlines on it, so here you go: www.psycom.net/get-help-mental-health
Megan you don't need to apologize for anything. If it's hard for you, it's hard for you, and whether or not it "sounds privileged" is irrelevant. It's clearly not that you just don't WANT to do laundry and are complaining about it- no, it's something that a genuine medical condition makes it difficult to do and you wish you were more able to do it ❤
Everyone's struggles are different and your struggles are wholly valid. I appreciate you acknowledging privilege but never feel like your issues aren't just as valid as anyone else's!
I don’t think you should feel bad about saying what struggles you may have. Similar to how children cry over little things that we don’t understand but at the end of the day that missing toy was the worst thing that’s happened to them that day 😂💗
Don't apologise at all - it did not come across as privileged in the slightest. People simply don't understand how fucked executive dysfunction is and how much it can affect your self esteem and self worth. I have ADHD and suffer from executive dysfunction and laundry is a HUGGGEE problem for me. I am lucky to have a washing machine but even then it's a struggle, so to be perfectly honest, if I had to exit the house to do my laundry that would end me. I'd never wash my clothes again. SO I feel you - it doesn't come across as privileged!
I feel like a lot of people conflate OCD with OCPD (where organizing/fastidiousness is a big component and part of the diagnostic criteria). These can be comorbid and have some similar traits, but they definitely are not the same. Both can be incredibly debilitating. It’s annoying that the gen public stereotypes mental illness based on one or two prominent symptoms, and that can create a lot of confusion and make it hard for people to get the help they need. Glad to see you doing well ♥️
As someone with ocd, i am so happy you say that! It's really not that hard for people just to say "ocpd" if that's what they mean but the public is so poorly educated on psychology it's annoying to have people brush off my disorder like it hasn't destroyed years of my life and taken a mountain of effort just to cope with.
I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 22 and only recently (now in my 30s) started medication for my anxiety and OCD and it’s changed my life! It’s a horrible disorder and yes so misunderstood. Thank you for sharing and talking about your experiences!
Oh my dear. I got my adhd diagnosis last year at the age of 22. And i grieved so hard. I grieved a childhood i never had, because i never new "what was wrong with me" ect. There is actually a word we use in the community: grielief. You are relieved and you grief what could have been ❤️❤️ sending you all the love
This literally perfectly describes how I felt getting my diagnosis. I was like, “so that’s why I couldn’t finish assignments on time” or “damn, people really thought I was just lazy but I was going through some shit and couldn’t focus on everything”. I’ve never heard of grielief before but it describes me so well.
Ah I have OCD too! I also had to “confess” any bad thoughts I had or things I did to my mom too. I wasn’t raised religiously, but as a kid I always envied Catholics because they got to confess their sins lol. I wanted that so bad! OCD really gets you right in the guilt
Oh man so I thought I also had ADHD with OCD, what you’ve said really made sense. Maybe I don’t have adhd but it’s my ocd being whacky. I also get over stimulated easy. Just started using earplugs when I feel it and it’s *chef’s kiss*
Recently discovered that I might have pure O (with ADHD diagnosed already) and am trying to get to a psychiatrist, but it's a huge relief to hear so much of the things you say in this video. Even among people with OCD and the greater disordered community it seems so little is ever truly said, so when that's all you hear and all you know is what YOU'VE lived with, it can be so hard to tell what if anything was wrong. You're brave in sharing all of this, but I thank you for it
This just inspired me to check out wtf is going on with my brain that I now think might be OCD. I’ve nearly broken up with my boyfriend 6-7 times over the past year (I’ve never actually done it) but have pulled myself out of the cycle. It gets more exhausting each time though.
I'm so happy I could potentially lead you down the right path!! I support you! The relationship aspect of ocd really sucks Like if my brain could stop gaslighting me that would be great thanks
🐱💖 Thank you for making this video and being willing to share a really vulnerable experience with us. I'm 28 and have been diagnosed with ADHD for about a year now. I see so much myself in your journey. Before I was medicated, I definitely had a habit of treating people I love unkindly from time to time to try to relieve the anxiety going on in my own brain. I so relate to the feelings of grief and guilt surrounding finding an explanation for really painful behaviors.
Welcome to the neurodivergent family🎉 This kind of news is always tough because, like you said, it's a relief to know what's going on, but there's also a lot of grief with it too. But I can say there's a community of support behind you. I'm autistic and found that the ND community is so loving and informative. I did want to mention that along with OCD and ADHD getting misdiagnosed, that happens a lot under the ND umbrella because we all share symptoms. The main difference between them is that they stem from different things. For example, an ADHD person and an autistic person may like to run in circles, but the reason why is different. For an ADHD person, it may be a release of built-up energy where an autistic person it may be for the internal feeling between their ears (like a stim) or to regulate emotions. It all goes to say that we're all under the umbrella of our brains taking the scenic route instead of the fastest, but know that we can always get to our destination with time.❤
Hi Megan, thank you so much for being that open and honest about your experiences with such an important topic ❤ I'm a neuropsychologist working at a clinic diagnosing adults with neurocognitive disorders. Those are mainly (sadly) older folks with different kinds and stages of dementia, but also a LOT of younger folks with undiagnosed ADHD oder ADD. Like you said, a hell lot of women are diagnosed only later in their lives, as they are not as disruptive or loud at school as "typical" ADHS boys are. Luckily, the knowledge and awareness of the presence of externalized vs. internalized hyperactivity is growing more and more. Because of the same reason, children (girls and boys alike) with ADD are frequently overlooked and only get diagnosed as adults when they have no external structure anymore and can't deal with that (they move out, have to structure their own daily tasks, finances, administrative tasks, have a job that might not fit their attentional abilities, and so on). But also very bright kids, that can compensate a lot of their attention deficits and learning problems can fly under the radar for years before having severe problems at university or work or life in general in its complexity. Because of that constant pressure and overstimulation, depression, anxiety and substance abuse are very common comorbidities. Most patients were in therapy because of that and only get diagnosed with AD(H)D because their therapist or psychiatrist has a hunch and sent them to us for further diagnosis. Most of the time, they are feeling like they are lazy or stupid and constantly stressed out and agitated, which is leading to these secondary disorders. I am so glad, that there is more and more awareness of neurological and psychological disorders and I hope that more people actively try to get the help they might need. Obviously depending on the health system in their countries. (I am from Germany and work in Switzerland, so I definetly can't advise anyone from another region) But wherever you are: it is not your fault, there are people that care and want to help. There always is a way ☺
hi Megan, I'm a relatively new subscriber and I've never commented on one of your videos before but I just wanted to say that I relate a *ton* to what you've said in this video. I have been diagnosed w/ GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) since I was 16 (20 now) & for the past few years I've been mulling over if I have ADHD, OCD, Autism, and/or BPD. I decided to click on this video just to learn more about OCD and see if there was anything I relate to, and oh boy was there! I relate to nearly everything you've said. The rocky relationships, constant worrying & obsessing over the littlest things, thinking I'm a horrible person for thinking or doing/not doing something, & fixating on intrusive thoughts. I even related to your story about going to a doctor and being told that you don't have ADHD because you weren't hyperactive/ a disruption in school (the only difference was it was my therapist who told me this, not a psychiatric nurse). Like you, I've also been wondering for the past few years if I have undiagnosed ADHD, and in the past couple months-a year it's only gotten worse. I can't concentrate on things I used to be able to concentrate on (school work, reading, etc.), I can't formulate my thoughts well, i procrastinate (which I never used to do before & its almost always because of overwhelming anxiety), and more. For a while I thought it was just lingering brain fog from my ED (something I developed in 2020 when the world went to chaos and my schedule got flipped upside down), or undiagnosed ADHD. Now, however, from watching your video I think it could possibly be OCD. My therapist has brought up to me before how she thinks I have "OCD" like symptoms, and now I think maybe there's some truth to that. I'm definitely going to bring it up to her sometime now because of this video. Overall, this is an extremely long-winded way of saying thank you for sharing this and your experience. Even with all the extensive research I've done on OCD (I've written many a paper about it for class since I'm very passionate about how often it is misrepresented/misdianosed) I never knew it could present in the way you described. I always thought it was "intrusive thought -> immediate action to get rid of it" and never knew that it could also be constant anxiety and rumination about said intrusive thought. Again, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am so glad that I clicked on this video. I'm still not sure of anything in this moment as i write this, and I'm definitely not saying I 100% have ocd just based off this one video, but I am definitely going to bring this up to my therapist and maybe it might finally lead me down the path to some answers. Thank you so much, you are incredibly brave for sharing your experience
i never comment on things but this video came at just the right time for me -- i was also recently diagnosed with OCD that i always thought was 'just' GAD and it's been a lot to think about. i loved some of your insights here because it's helping me reframe things as well about the mental exhaustion, etc.; i do have a psychology education and it was still a lot of new insights for me, so thank you for sharing as this has been one of the most helpful stories from someone else that i've heard lately, and was unexpected -- i just enjoy your usual content anyway. so, again, thank you so much for sharing
I’m on phentermine currently and I had to be apart of a weight loss program for 6 months before they would even prescribe me any weight loss pill. That’s crazy to me that your primary doctor just prescribed it to you 😅 In relation to OCD, my older brother is autistic and has OCD and ADD and he is the furthest thing from clean 🤣 but he has issues inside his head, he says it’s loud. Running all the time, he can’t sleep, and it would make him anxious and he actually used food to cope which lead him to binging all hours of the night.
I honestly think she prescribed to me like that because she knows I've done the whole bariatric program/weight loss surgery thing already and have managed to keep the majority of the weight off ro five years LOL because she doesn't strike me as the kind of doc that would just prescribe things for funsies. But yeah literally every person I know in my life with adhd/add/ocd/etc is kind of a mess LMAO so I think the stereotype is so funny tbh
Thank you so much for sharing this. OCD can really trick you into thinking you’re awful and that’s why it’s so hard to diagnose and treat. People tend to keep it to themselves for a long time thinking they’ll be judged. I suffered with debilitating postpartum ocd and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Our stories will help people feel less alone or even be able to identify what they may be dealing with.
I have so much respect for you! This video was so raw and vulnerable and as someone who also struggles with mental illness, OCD included, it was so validating to hear you speak about your experiences. All the love to you!
I resonate with a lot of this. I keep bringing up my concerns to both psychologists I’ve had and they’re only focusing on my depression and anxiety and I’m just like do I have to scream it?! Lol like hey I think I have ADHD/OCD!!!!!
I have the opposite problem😅. I have pretty severe OCD and because of it also most likely depression but no doctor seems to be too interested in that (allthough I got diagnosed with OCD too because I was already 99% sure I had it, and I just presented that to a phyciatric nurse who agreed with me and gave a supporting statement so I could present my diagnosis to a doctor, who was no hood might I add). 🤷♀️
All of my worst OCD flare ups have occurred post moving and I never realized that until now 😓 and the most recent one manifested in ROCD as well. I sympathize with you so so much.
giiiiirl, the laundry example - I had that same issue!!! My first two places didn't have an in-unit laundry and I felt like I was tearing out my eyeballs every time it was laundry day.... I would push it off until I had nothing left to wear. I've never heard someone express the same feelings and I just want to say - same!!!
💝 thanks for this. I started taking Phentermine about a month ago. I was just talking to my partner about how happy and peaceful I feel when it starts working in the morning when i I came across your video. I've always thought of myself as a type c person because I live on chaos, not that I want to, but it always feels like that's how I manage. Thank you for sharing this. It's really validated my experience.
Hey there. I've just found your channel and think that the things you're talking about are understandable. I'm in treatment for ocd as well and also on mediaction. Just wanted to thank you for talking about it. It helps to know that there are other people who are struggeling with this. It makes me feel a little bit less alone with it. For me you are a gorgeus person and I wish you the best. Greetings from germany .
Omg this actually made a ton of sense to me, I was also wondering if I had ADHD! You have the literally exact symptoms and compulsions I have with OCD. I've never heard a description that aligns so perfectly with the nasty stuff that goes on in my brain.
Two of my best friends have OCD and I have ADHD(as well as mental health issues that aren't OCD). It's always important to share your experience!! Thank you for doing so! 🍄
The fact that you're working to take accountability and right your wrongs is huge, that takes a lot of bravery. You deserve good things and it sounds like bright times are ahead :) 💖💝💞
I am diagnosed with ocd too and I had similar symptoms. Thank you for making this video and I know ocd is awful I had extreme severe ocd and with therapy now I only have it in extremely stressful moments. It took a long time but all the work was definitely worth it
Thank you for this video. I have almost pulled my hair out listening to some people romantisize OCD with they super organized house or wathever and even how they like their OCD because it makes them organized. IT IS NOT THE SAME THING! I have many of those very cliche symptoms with my OCD. The cleaning, the laundry, the handwashing and having things a sertain way (my apartment is still a mess). NONE of those things give me satisfaction. If I don’t do those things the intrusive thoughts will eat me alive (My OCD is pretty severe). And on the other side of the coin, I might wait to take trash out for weeks because it’s such an overwhelming task sometimes with contaminations thoughts. I have cleaned on the verge of a panic attack in the middle of the night, because something unexpected happened that would prompt the intrusive thought. I have washed and cleaned until my skin in my hands was raw. I have literally thrown stuff away because my OCD has convinced me that it is contaminated and any action to fix that feels like a marathon I just don’t have energy for. So yeah very missunderstood mental illness indeed. I wish I could enjoy having a clean home. But it’s always a result of anxiety more than anything else. And it won’t last long until I find something that is again ”contaminated” and cant be touched for weeks etc. Sidenote on this very long rambling: My close friend has ADHD and we thought it always interesting how many things we could relate to with each others conditions.
thank you for sharing this. ocd is not something that i have a vast knowledge about, so this has been incredibly interesting to listen to. btw, you are looking incredible and i love the glasses.
I was diagnosed with adhd last year at the age of 26. I grieved too, thinking about all the time I've lost thinking I was stupid and being miserably depressed, when i was just trying my best to move through life. I'm still getting my meds adjusted, but my doctor convinced me that I could do well in the medical field, so I'm trying to go back to school for it. I hope you get your energy back and find some new happiness with a better brain!🦝
I was diagnosed with adhd at the age of 19 and it was a great relief. I also thought I was just "stupid" for the longest time. Learning it was a cognitive difficulty came as a surprise and gave me strength to confront my issues. Good luck with going back to school! I am also planning to begin graduate school this August :)
Thank you for sharing your story! I also have OCD, and have also struggled with a lot of ADHD symptoms as well. You are absolutely right that so many people just don't get it. And it is completely valid to grieve after your diagnosis! But it also does get better!!! Now that you know what is going on in your brain, you have the ability to begin to accept it and yourself and to take control of your life 💖🐈🦭🐐✨
Woof, welcome to a terrible club. I could relate to almost every single thing you said. I was diagnosed as a teen, and if it helps - overall my mental health and functioning has gotten much better over the past eight-ish years. There have been big ups and big downs, but the overall trajectory has been upward.
Thank you for this great video! It’s always so interesting to hear what someone else is going through & how they cope (or don’t) as it’s another step in understanding life. A lot of what you are saying I recognise in my husband. We are in NZ & we are so far behind the rest of the 1st world in getting mental health help. 😢 He traditionally has gotten diagnosed with depression but he vehemently denies that he is depressed - he does have small episodes of it (like anyone) but the ultimate problem is something else. I have begged for him to be tested for ADHD as it has run through our children but the doctors refuse because it’s just depression 🤯🤬. Much love to you & pride in the steps you are taking to be the best you 🙌 to bad what the nay sayers may put out - you do you ❤❤❤❤🐹🐯🐸🦄🐣🦆🐝🐞🐬🌸
My experience with ocd is so similar. Hearing you talk about your experience is very reassuring to me that my dx is correct and I’m not just “faking it” or something lol
Thank you for talking about your experience, I had no idea that ADHD and OCD affected the same part of the brain. I just have ADHD myself, and it's so frustrating the stigma that often comes with taking stimulant medications. People with ADHD can fall into ruminations but not to the extent of OCD. The ADHD doesn't inherently come with anxiety, it's more like the mess and the struggles of living life might cause an ADHDer to become anxious. On a base level I'm pretty chill, but when I think about the doing things I know that I struggle with I might become depressed or anxious. Just thought I'd describe things from my side a little bit. A lot of people self-diagnose themselves with ADHD (and I'm sure many are right) but there are several things that might give off the impression of ADHD as well.
The thing about diagnosis of conditions like OCD is that it is not a tick box exercies. Diagnosis is based on an understanding of a constellation of symptoms, many of which overlap with other conditions. Diagnosis takes time because it is important to get a fuller understanding of a patient's symptoms and the impact that it has on their lives. This is why self-diagnosis is so dangerous - you are not a diagnostitian and neither is th person who wrote the online quiz. You may have a different condition that needs intervention, and your self-diagnosis can lead you down the wrong road.
I think self diagnosis is a really nuanced topic. It depends on the person. Ultimately i think it's mostly okay because it *Usually* leads the person to go to the doctor (if they're able.) But I'm usually a proponent of th e idea that if someone identifies with something, they should explore it and go from there!
Sort of off topic but I did an intake/assessment for a therapy program and tried to talk about being a "worry wart" during one of the questions and completely started second guessing myself about not saying the phrase right so I feel so much relief hearing you say this lmfao. Let's just say I did score high on the anxiety assessments haha
You have pure OCD like me! I woudl do the same as you. exactly the same. with medication and therapy you WILL get better. there are so many tools now that you will be fine. I am totally good now and been for years. Good luck!! Sending you lots of love. Routine will affect OCD, but if you are aware of it, you will be able to handle it better. :)
Octopi are cute cause they can hug you with EIGHT (... checks notes...) SEVEN 100 % ARMS! Must be great hugs!🐙 I'm glad to hear you found relief in your diagnosis and I hope that knowing it will lead to you feeling happier and more balanced in the future 😊
This is a long comment. TLDR; Being a girl in the early 2000s with ADD was hell. I was diagnosed with ADHD (at the time ADD) in elementary school and it was hard growing up. I was treated differently than the boys diagnosed with ADHD, often never accommodated despite the school pushing my mom to get me diagnosed. I also have CAPD which now knowing as an adult, makes a lot more sense and gives me the closure I never got growing up wondering what was wrong with me. I had a teacher screamed in my face because I told him that I didn't understand him when he was talking, and when he stormed out of the classroom, I bursted into tears in front of my peers because I felt so humiliated. During the time I was diagnosed, I was in remission for non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and was put on an experimental ADD/ADHD medicine for pediatric patients in remission (I later found out as an adult that children often develop temporarily or permanently attention issues due to the kind of chemo given to them) and the medication made me sick. I couldn't eat and when I tried, I would get sick. My doctor took me off the medication but my mom would hold it over my head as a form of punishment if I didn't keep my room clean or keep good grades, knowing that it made me ill (she also never helped me in school or was ever patient with me about cleaning, expecting me to figure it out when I would get so overwhelmed.) I had to teach myself how to clean, and now as an adult I'm pretty particular about keeping things in the house clean, honestly being the only one who does. I feel like I was betrayed by my family members growing up, having a male cousin who is autistic and being held at a different and more difficult to meet standard and I was more harshly punished than him, despite me being more better behaved. He was often coddled and still is, me having to pick up his chores and even having to clean his room while he was at the hospital and having one of the worst anxiety attacks because I remember all the verbal lashings I got growing up if my room was slightly cluttered while his room has and is always disgusting. I know he can't help it but that doesn't make me any sense angry at the family members, mostly at our grandparents who raised him for never giving him the structure he needed and me having to figure it out while juggling my own mental health.
I have been taking phentermine for years, as a medication for ADHD. I have tried other medications that are specifically for ADHD (which I’ve been diagnosed with) but the phentermine helps me more than anything.
It's amazing how much a diagnosis can help normalize everything you are feeling. The imposter syndrome will still come crashing in and you will wonder if you convinced your doctor that you have this thing. It's nice to know that there are people who know what is going on inside your skull. Brains can be really mean, man. I hope you soon will be able to talk about your mental wellness. Good luck in your mental healing! 🦨🦔🦦🦥
Thank you for sharing your journey. If this is too invasive dont worry about answering but how do you afford your mental health care? I need care badly but im afraid it will be too out of what I can afford atm to pursue.
I am super privileged to have a full-time job that gives me very good health benefits. It sucks that it's not available to everyone, especially mental healthcare because mental health is usually at the root of a lot of physical ailments as well. My girlfriend and I recently became domestic partners (for many reasons lmao) but mainly so she can get on my benefits as well because Colorado is awesome when it comes to that. I do know, that depending on where you live, there are options for low cost mental healthcare out there, it just requires some digging to find it. I'm really sorry you are going through this and I am sending you so much love!
Thank you for sharing this, I am always touched by how much compassion you have for others, and that you are learning to have it for yourself as well. I'm always rooting for you.
🐨🐰🪴🪺🎀🐳 Megan, it was so brave of you to share this ❤️ and I totally get the post-diagnostic relief, I felt the same way after my autism diagnosis. It’s only going to be easier from now on. I’m so glad things finally make sense for you and that you found such a great competent doctor. All the best to you, you’re an amazing person ❤
🐌🪱🦕🦖❤️❤️❤️🐱🐱 I’ve been diagnosed with adhd basically my whole life so I’m not self diagnosing rn but this video made me realize just how much medication might help me with just existing cuz I’ve never been medicated, I think I’m gonna make an effort to get medication now. thank you Megan
I’m going through the process of seeing a psychiatrist for Pure-O OCD….and it’s been really hard. I feel really isolated so it feels good seeing others I related so much with this video, and i cried with you because i totally understand the feeling. Thank you for posting this video and sharing. I don’t feel so alone. 🐐🐝🐥🦆🐞🦖🐓🐛🐑🐍🦜🦞🦙🦑🐏🦈🦨🦩🦭🦦🐋
Hey all! I just wnated to add a disclaimer that I know me talking about doing laundry came off super priveleged lmao I'm really sorry, it really is just a point of contention for me and my brain!
I also wanted to link a page that has all of the mental health hotlines on it, so here you go: www.psycom.net/get-help-mental-health
Megan you don't need to apologize for anything. If it's hard for you, it's hard for you, and whether or not it "sounds privileged" is irrelevant. It's clearly not that you just don't WANT to do laundry and are complaining about it- no, it's something that a genuine medical condition makes it difficult to do and you wish you were more able to do it ❤
Everyone's struggles are different and your struggles are wholly valid. I appreciate you acknowledging privilege but never feel like your issues aren't just as valid as anyone else's!
Dude laundry is the fucking dumps and can turn your room and life into a mess. It's the truth.
I don’t think you should feel bad about saying what struggles you may have. Similar to how children cry over little things that we don’t understand but at the end of the day that missing toy was the worst thing that’s happened to them that day 😂💗
Don't apologise at all - it did not come across as privileged in the slightest. People simply don't understand how fucked executive dysfunction is and how much it can affect your self esteem and self worth. I have ADHD and suffer from executive dysfunction and laundry is a HUGGGEE problem for me. I am lucky to have a washing machine but even then it's a struggle, so to be perfectly honest, if I had to exit the house to do my laundry that would end me. I'd never wash my clothes again. SO I feel you - it doesn't come across as privileged!
I feel like a lot of people conflate OCD with OCPD (where organizing/fastidiousness is a big component and part of the diagnostic criteria). These can be comorbid and have some similar traits, but they definitely are not the same. Both can be incredibly debilitating. It’s annoying that the gen public stereotypes mental illness based on one or two prominent symptoms, and that can create a lot of confusion and make it hard for people to get the help they need. Glad to see you doing well ♥️
As someone with ocd, i am so happy you say that! It's really not that hard for people just to say "ocpd" if that's what they mean but the public is so poorly educated on psychology it's annoying to have people brush off my disorder like it hasn't destroyed years of my life and taken a mountain of effort just to cope with.
I was diagnosed with OCD when I was 22 and only recently (now in my 30s) started medication for my anxiety and OCD and it’s changed my life! It’s a horrible disorder and yes so misunderstood. Thank you for sharing and talking about your experiences!
Oh my dear. I got my adhd diagnosis last year at the age of 22. And i grieved so hard. I grieved a childhood i never had, because i never new "what was wrong with me" ect. There is actually a word we use in the community: grielief. You are relieved and you grief what could have been ❤️❤️ sending you all the love
This literally perfectly describes how I felt getting my diagnosis. I was like, “so that’s why I couldn’t finish assignments on time” or “damn, people really thought I was just lazy but I was going through some shit and couldn’t focus on everything”. I’ve never heard of grielief before but it describes me so well.
GRIELIEF IS SO GOOD OMG
Can we just take a moment to appreciate how cute your outfit is ❤
Ah I have OCD too! I also had to “confess” any bad thoughts I had or things I did to my mom too. I wasn’t raised religiously, but as a kid I always envied Catholics because they got to confess their sins lol. I wanted that so bad! OCD really gets you right in the guilt
Oh man so I thought I also had ADHD with OCD, what you’ve said really made sense. Maybe I don’t have adhd but it’s my ocd being whacky. I also get over stimulated easy. Just started using earplugs when I feel it and it’s *chef’s kiss*
Recently discovered that I might have pure O (with ADHD diagnosed already) and am trying to get to a psychiatrist, but it's a huge relief to hear so much of the things you say in this video. Even among people with OCD and the greater disordered community it seems so little is ever truly said, so when that's all you hear and all you know is what YOU'VE lived with, it can be so hard to tell what if anything was wrong. You're brave in sharing all of this, but I thank you for it
My psych suggested that I lean more towards the "pure O" end of the spectrum as well! I'm so so happy I could help you.
This just inspired me to check out wtf is going on with my brain that I now think might be OCD. I’ve nearly broken up with my boyfriend 6-7 times over the past year (I’ve never actually done it) but have pulled myself out of the cycle. It gets more exhausting each time though.
I'm so happy I could potentially lead you down the right path!! I support you! The relationship aspect of ocd really sucks
Like if my brain could stop gaslighting me that would be great thanks
🐱💖 Thank you for making this video and being willing to share a really vulnerable experience with us. I'm 28 and have been diagnosed with ADHD for about a year now. I see so much myself in your journey. Before I was medicated, I definitely had a habit of treating people I love unkindly from time to time to try to relieve the anxiety going on in my own brain. I so relate to the feelings of grief and guilt surrounding finding an explanation for really painful behaviors.
Welcome to the neurodivergent family🎉 This kind of news is always tough because, like you said, it's a relief to know what's going on, but there's also a lot of grief with it too. But I can say there's a community of support behind you. I'm autistic and found that the ND community is so loving and informative.
I did want to mention that along with OCD and ADHD getting misdiagnosed, that happens a lot under the ND umbrella because we all share symptoms. The main difference between them is that they stem from different things. For example, an ADHD person and an autistic person may like to run in circles, but the reason why is different. For an ADHD person, it may be a release of built-up energy where an autistic person it may be for the internal feeling between their ears (like a stim) or to regulate emotions.
It all goes to say that we're all under the umbrella of our brains taking the scenic route instead of the fastest, but know that we can always get to our destination with time.❤
Hi Megan, thank you so much for being that open and honest about your experiences with such an important topic ❤
I'm a neuropsychologist working at a clinic diagnosing adults with neurocognitive disorders. Those are mainly (sadly) older folks with different kinds and stages of dementia, but also a LOT of younger folks with undiagnosed ADHD oder ADD.
Like you said, a hell lot of women are diagnosed only later in their lives, as they are not as disruptive or loud at school as "typical" ADHS boys are. Luckily, the knowledge and awareness of the presence of externalized vs. internalized hyperactivity is growing more and more. Because of the same reason, children (girls and boys alike) with ADD are frequently overlooked and only get diagnosed as adults when they have no external structure anymore and can't deal with that (they move out, have to structure their own daily tasks, finances, administrative tasks, have a job that might not fit their attentional abilities, and so on). But also very bright kids, that can compensate a lot of their attention deficits and learning problems can fly under the radar for years before having severe problems at university or work or life in general in its complexity.
Because of that constant pressure and overstimulation, depression, anxiety and substance abuse are very common comorbidities. Most patients were in therapy because of that and only get diagnosed with AD(H)D because their therapist or psychiatrist has a hunch and sent them to us for further diagnosis. Most of the time, they are feeling like they are lazy or stupid and constantly stressed out and agitated, which is leading to these secondary disorders.
I am so glad, that there is more and more awareness of neurological and psychological disorders and I hope that more people actively try to get the help they might need. Obviously depending on the health system in their countries. (I am from Germany and work in Switzerland, so I definetly can't advise anyone from another region)
But wherever you are: it is not your fault, there are people that care and want to help. There always is a way ☺
thank you so much for all of this!!
... I think I need to talk to my doctor because this sounds suspiciously like my own life...
hi Megan,
I'm a relatively new subscriber and I've never commented on one of your videos before but I just wanted to say that I relate a *ton* to what you've said in this video.
I have been diagnosed w/ GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) since I was 16 (20 now) & for the past few years I've been mulling over if I have ADHD, OCD, Autism, and/or BPD. I decided to click on this video just to learn more about OCD and see if there was anything I relate to, and oh boy was there!
I relate to nearly everything you've said. The rocky relationships, constant worrying & obsessing over the littlest things, thinking I'm a horrible person for thinking or doing/not doing something, & fixating on intrusive thoughts. I even related to your story about going to a doctor and being told that you don't have ADHD because you weren't hyperactive/ a disruption in school (the only difference was it was my therapist who told me this, not a psychiatric nurse).
Like you, I've also been wondering for the past few years if I have undiagnosed ADHD, and in the past couple months-a year it's only gotten worse. I can't concentrate on things I used to be able to concentrate on (school work, reading, etc.), I can't formulate my thoughts well, i procrastinate (which I never used to do before & its almost always because of overwhelming anxiety), and more.
For a while I thought it was just lingering brain fog from my ED (something I developed in 2020 when the world went to chaos and my schedule got flipped upside down), or undiagnosed ADHD. Now, however, from watching your video I think it could possibly be OCD.
My therapist has brought up to me before how she thinks I have "OCD" like symptoms, and now I think maybe there's some truth to that. I'm definitely going to bring it up to her sometime now because of this video.
Overall, this is an extremely long-winded way of saying thank you for sharing this and your experience. Even with all the extensive research I've done on OCD (I've written many a paper about it for class since I'm very passionate about how often it is misrepresented/misdianosed) I never knew it could present in the way you described. I always thought it was "intrusive thought -> immediate action to get rid of it" and never knew that it could also be constant anxiety and rumination about said intrusive thought.
Again, thank you so much for sharing your experience. I am so glad that I clicked on this video. I'm still not sure of anything in this moment as i write this, and I'm definitely not saying I 100% have ocd just based off this one video, but I am definitely going to bring this up to my therapist and maybe it might finally lead me down the path to some answers. Thank you so much, you are incredibly brave for sharing your experience
i never comment on things but this video came at just the right time for me -- i was also recently diagnosed with OCD that i always thought was 'just' GAD and it's been a lot to think about. i loved some of your insights here because it's helping me reframe things as well about the mental exhaustion, etc.; i do have a psychology education and it was still a lot of new insights for me, so thank you for sharing as this has been one of the most helpful stories from someone else that i've heard lately, and was unexpected -- i just enjoy your usual content anyway. so, again, thank you so much for sharing
I’m on phentermine currently and I had to be apart of a weight loss program for 6 months before they would even prescribe me any weight loss pill. That’s crazy to me that your primary doctor just prescribed it to you 😅
In relation to OCD, my older brother is autistic and has OCD and ADD and he is the furthest thing from clean 🤣 but he has issues inside his head, he says it’s loud. Running all the time, he can’t sleep, and it would make him anxious and he actually used food to cope which lead him to binging all hours of the night.
I honestly think she prescribed to me like that because she knows I've done the whole bariatric program/weight loss surgery thing already and have managed to keep the majority of the weight off ro five years LOL because she doesn't strike me as the kind of doc that would just prescribe things for funsies.
But yeah literally every person I know in my life with adhd/add/ocd/etc is kind of a mess LMAO so I think the stereotype is so funny tbh
Congrats on joining OCD club bestie 😗 life is real rough sometimes, aint it.
This video is so relatable and comforting ❤
Thank you so much for sharing this. OCD can really trick you into thinking you’re awful and that’s why it’s so hard to diagnose and treat. People tend to keep it to themselves for a long time thinking they’ll be judged. I suffered with debilitating postpartum ocd and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Our stories will help people feel less alone or even be able to identify what they may be dealing with.
I have so much respect for you! This video was so raw and vulnerable and as someone who also struggles with mental illness, OCD included, it was so validating to hear you speak about your experiences. All the love to you!
I resonate with a lot of this. I keep bringing up my concerns to both psychologists I’ve had and they’re only focusing on my depression and anxiety and I’m just like do I have to scream it?! Lol like hey I think I have ADHD/OCD!!!!!
I have the opposite problem😅. I have pretty severe OCD and because of it also most likely depression but no doctor seems to be too interested in that (allthough I got diagnosed with OCD too because I was already 99% sure I had it, and I just presented that to a phyciatric nurse who agreed with me and gave a supporting statement so I could present my diagnosis to a doctor, who was no hood might I add). 🤷♀️
All of my worst OCD flare ups have occurred post moving and I never realized that until now 😓 and the most recent one manifested in ROCD as well. I sympathize with you so so much.
I can't live somewhere without laundry in unit because I won't do it. The struggle is real!
giiiiirl, the laundry example - I had that same issue!!! My first two places didn't have an in-unit laundry and I felt like I was tearing out my eyeballs every time it was laundry day.... I would push it off until I had nothing left to wear. I've never heard someone express the same feelings and I just want to say - same!!!
literally would rather sit through like 15 hours of tattooing or something than do laundry in my current living situation lmao
💝 thanks for this. I started taking Phentermine about a month ago. I was just talking to my partner about how happy and peaceful I feel when it starts working in the morning when i I came across your video. I've always thought of myself as a type c person because I live on chaos, not that I want to, but it always feels like that's how I manage. Thank you for sharing this. It's really validated my experience.
I have been watching you for a while and I love your content. Thank you for talking about important subjects and always being so kind! ❤
🐈⬛🐈🦭🐇❤❤ love you, Megan. You are so thoughtful, introspective, considerate, empathetic, gentle, and self-aware. Keep being you
Hey there. I've just found your channel and think that the things you're talking about are understandable. I'm in treatment for ocd as well and also on mediaction. Just wanted to thank you for talking about it. It helps to know that there are other people who are struggeling with this. It makes me feel a little bit less alone with it. For me you are a gorgeus person and I wish you the best. Greetings from germany .
Omg this actually made a ton of sense to me, I was also wondering if I had ADHD! You have the literally exact symptoms and compulsions I have with OCD. I've never heard a description that aligns so perfectly with the nasty stuff that goes on in my brain.
Two of my best friends have OCD and I have ADHD(as well as mental health issues that aren't OCD). It's always important to share your experience!! Thank you for doing so! 🍄
The fact that you're working to take accountability and right your wrongs is huge, that takes a lot of bravery. You deserve good things and it sounds like bright times are ahead :) 💖💝💞
I am diagnosed with ocd too and I had similar symptoms. Thank you for making this video and I know ocd is awful I had extreme severe ocd and with therapy now I only have it in extremely stressful moments. It took a long time but all the work was definitely worth it
Thank you for this video.
I have almost pulled my hair out listening to some people romantisize OCD with they super organized house or wathever and even how they like their OCD because it makes them organized. IT IS NOT THE SAME THING! I have many of those very cliche symptoms with my OCD. The cleaning, the laundry, the handwashing and having things a sertain way (my apartment is still a mess). NONE of those things give me satisfaction. If I don’t do those things the intrusive thoughts will eat me alive (My OCD is pretty severe). And on the other side of the coin, I might wait to take trash out for weeks because it’s such an overwhelming task sometimes with contaminations thoughts. I have cleaned on the verge of a panic attack in the middle of the night, because something unexpected happened that would prompt the intrusive thought. I have washed and cleaned until my skin in my hands was raw. I have literally thrown stuff away because my OCD has convinced me that it is contaminated and any action to fix that feels like a marathon I just don’t have energy for. So yeah very missunderstood mental illness indeed. I wish I could enjoy having a clean home. But it’s always a result of anxiety more than anything else. And it won’t last long until I find something that is again ”contaminated” and cant be touched for weeks etc.
Sidenote on this very long rambling: My close friend has ADHD and we thought it always interesting how many things we could relate to with each others conditions.
thank you for sharing this. ocd is not something that i have a vast knowledge about, so this has been incredibly interesting to listen to. btw, you are looking incredible and i love the glasses.
My darling!
I suffer with OCD. I completely identify with what you are saying. Thank you for sharing. You are very brave!
Hugs,
Emily
Thanks for opening up. 💐🌷🌻⚘🌹It was very interesting.
I was diagnosed with adhd last year at the age of 26. I grieved too, thinking about all the time I've lost thinking I was stupid and being miserably depressed, when i was just trying my best to move through life. I'm still getting my meds adjusted, but my doctor convinced me that I could do well in the medical field, so I'm trying to go back to school for it. I hope you get your energy back and find some new happiness with a better brain!🦝
I was diagnosed with adhd at the age of 19 and it was a great relief. I also thought I was just "stupid" for the longest time. Learning it was a cognitive difficulty came as a surprise and gave me strength to confront my issues. Good luck with going back to school! I am also planning to begin graduate school this August :)
Thank you for sharing your story! I also have OCD, and have also struggled with a lot of ADHD symptoms as well. You are absolutely right that so many people just don't get it. And it is completely valid to grieve after your diagnosis! But it also does get better!!! Now that you know what is going on in your brain, you have the ability to begin to accept it and yourself and to take control of your life 💖🐈🦭🐐✨
Woof, welcome to a terrible club. I could relate to almost every single thing you said.
I was diagnosed as a teen, and if it helps - overall my mental health and functioning has gotten much better over the past eight-ish years. There have been big ups and big downs, but the overall trajectory has been upward.
It's terrible but treatable and manageable and we're all just doing our best! ❤
Thank you for this great video! It’s always so interesting to hear what someone else is going through & how they cope (or don’t) as it’s another step in understanding life. A lot of what you are saying I recognise in my husband. We are in NZ & we are so far behind the rest of the 1st world in getting mental health help. 😢 He traditionally has gotten diagnosed with depression but he vehemently denies that he is depressed - he does have small episodes of it (like anyone) but the ultimate problem is something else. I have begged for him to be tested for ADHD as it has run through our children but the doctors refuse because it’s just depression 🤯🤬. Much love to you & pride in the steps you are taking to be the best you 🙌 to bad what the nay sayers may put out - you do you ❤❤❤❤🐹🐯🐸🦄🐣🦆🐝🐞🐬🌸
My experience with ocd is so similar. Hearing you talk about your experience is very reassuring to me that my dx is correct and I’m not just “faking it” or something lol
Hi Megan 👋 nice to meet you. 😊❤ I have ocd, adhd bpd, etc. This is me too with my ocd thoughts. 😢
Thank you for talking about your experience, I had no idea that ADHD and OCD affected the same part of the brain. I just have ADHD myself, and it's so frustrating the stigma that often comes with taking stimulant medications. People with ADHD can fall into ruminations but not to the extent of OCD. The ADHD doesn't inherently come with anxiety, it's more like the mess and the struggles of living life might cause an ADHDer to become anxious. On a base level I'm pretty chill, but when I think about the doing things I know that I struggle with I might become depressed or anxious. Just thought I'd describe things from my side a little bit. A lot of people self-diagnose themselves with ADHD (and I'm sure many are right) but there are several things that might give off the impression of ADHD as
well.
The thing about diagnosis of conditions like OCD is that it is not a tick box exercies. Diagnosis is based on an understanding of a constellation of symptoms, many of which overlap with other conditions. Diagnosis takes time because it is important to get a fuller understanding of a patient's symptoms and the impact that it has on their lives. This is why self-diagnosis is so dangerous - you are not a diagnostitian and neither is th person who wrote the online quiz. You may have a different condition that needs intervention, and your self-diagnosis can lead you down the wrong road.
I think self diagnosis is a really nuanced topic. It depends on the person. Ultimately i think it's mostly okay because it *Usually* leads the person to go to the doctor (if they're able.) But I'm usually a proponent of th e idea that if someone identifies with something, they should explore it and go from there!
Sort of off topic but I did an intake/assessment for a therapy program and tried to talk about being a "worry wart" during one of the questions and completely started second guessing myself about not saying the phrase right so I feel so much relief hearing you say this lmfao. Let's just say I did score high on the anxiety assessments haha
My mom has called me a worry wart for as long as I can remember LMAO
You have pure OCD like me! I woudl do the same as you. exactly the same. with medication and therapy you WILL get better. there are so many tools now that you will be fine. I am totally good now and been for years. Good luck!! Sending you lots of love. Routine will affect OCD, but if you are aware of it, you will be able to handle it better. :)
Octopi are cute cause they can hug you with EIGHT (... checks notes...) SEVEN 100 % ARMS! Must be great hugs!🐙
I'm glad to hear you found relief in your diagnosis and I hope that knowing it will lead to you feeling happier and more balanced in the future 😊
Lol beware the male octopus… one of those arms is not like the others 😂🐙
🐰 bunnies are the best stress relief
Thank you for sharing! This must have been a hard video to make, wishing you all the best
🦓 🥰 🐱 🎈 lol
This is a long comment. TLDR; Being a girl in the early 2000s with ADD was hell.
I was diagnosed with ADHD (at the time ADD) in elementary school and it was hard growing up. I was treated differently than the boys diagnosed with ADHD, often never accommodated despite the school pushing my mom to get me diagnosed. I also have CAPD which now knowing as an adult, makes a lot more sense and gives me the closure I never got growing up wondering what was wrong with me. I had a teacher screamed in my face because I told him that I didn't understand him when he was talking, and when he stormed out of the classroom, I bursted into tears in front of my peers because I felt so humiliated.
During the time I was diagnosed, I was in remission for non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and was put on an experimental ADD/ADHD medicine for pediatric patients in remission (I later found out as an adult that children often develop temporarily or permanently attention issues due to the kind of chemo given to them) and the medication made me sick. I couldn't eat and when I tried, I would get sick. My doctor took me off the medication but my mom would hold it over my head as a form of punishment if I didn't keep my room clean or keep good grades, knowing that it made me ill (she also never helped me in school or was ever patient with me about cleaning, expecting me to figure it out when I would get so overwhelmed.) I had to teach myself how to clean, and now as an adult I'm pretty particular about keeping things in the house clean, honestly being the only one who does.
I feel like I was betrayed by my family members growing up, having a male cousin who is autistic and being held at a different and more difficult to meet standard and I was more harshly punished than him, despite me being more better behaved. He was often coddled and still is, me having to pick up his chores and even having to clean his room while he was at the hospital and having one of the worst anxiety attacks because I remember all the verbal lashings I got growing up if my room was slightly cluttered while his room has and is always disgusting. I know he can't help it but that doesn't make me any sense angry at the family members, mostly at our grandparents who raised him for never giving him the structure he needed and me having to figure it out while juggling my own mental health.
I have been taking phentermine for years, as a medication for ADHD. I have tried other medications that are specifically for ADHD (which I’ve been diagnosed with) but the phentermine helps me more than anything.
That's amazing!! I'm so happy for you!
It's amazing how much a diagnosis can help normalize everything you are feeling.
The imposter syndrome will still come crashing in and you will wonder if you convinced your doctor that you have this thing.
It's nice to know that there are people who know what is going on inside your skull.
Brains can be really mean, man. I hope you soon will be able to talk about your mental wellness.
Good luck in your mental healing! 🦨🦔🦦🦥
Hey bestie :) my name is also Megan Ann, and I also have OCD that is super similar to yours :)
So much of this resonates. Thank you for posting & I'm glad you have a diagnosis that feels correct.
Thank you for sharing 💕💜
Omg first love you Megan ❤️
Thank you for sharing your journey. If this is too invasive dont worry about answering but how do you afford your mental health care? I need care badly but im afraid it will be too out of what I can afford atm to pursue.
I am super privileged to have a full-time job that gives me very good health benefits. It sucks that it's not available to everyone, especially mental healthcare because mental health is usually at the root of a lot of physical ailments as well. My girlfriend and I recently became domestic partners (for many reasons lmao) but mainly so she can get on my benefits as well because Colorado is awesome when it comes to that. I do know, that depending on where you live, there are options for low cost mental healthcare out there, it just requires some digging to find it. I'm really sorry you are going through this and I am sending you so much love!
🐰🐹🐭 Thank you for sharing with us
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Thank you for sharing this, I am always touched by how much compassion you have for others, and that you are learning to have it for yourself as well. I'm always rooting for you.
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🐨🐰🪴🪺🎀🐳 Megan, it was so brave of you to share this ❤️ and I totally get the post-diagnostic relief, I felt the same way after my autism diagnosis. It’s only going to be easier from now on. I’m so glad things finally make sense for you and that you found such a great competent doctor. All the best to you, you’re an amazing person ❤
🐌🪱🦕🦖❤️❤️❤️🐱🐱 I’ve been diagnosed with adhd basically my whole life so I’m not self diagnosing rn but this video made me realize just how much medication might help me with just existing cuz I’ve never been medicated, I think I’m gonna make an effort to get medication now. thank you Megan
I’m going through the process of seeing a psychiatrist for Pure-O OCD….and it’s been really hard. I feel really isolated so it feels good seeing others
I related so much with this video, and i cried with you because i totally understand the feeling.
Thank you for posting this video and sharing. I don’t feel so alone.
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My psych also suggested that I lean towards the "Pure O" side fo things as well! I'm so happy I could help you feel less alone 💖
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