Sexuality and Borderline Personality Disorder

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  • Опубликовано: 18 сен 2024
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Комментарии • 57

  • @nicosuave713
    @nicosuave713 9 месяцев назад +17

    This is a really good one,specifically and accurately addressing several questions I've had for quite awhile now.out of the hundreds and hundreds of utube videos ive watched the past few years,nobody explained these situations quite like u just did.life seems a lil less stressful once you finally find the answers you've been looking for.this one really helped me sort of make sense of the few women that ive found myself with the last 20 years.thank you very much for this.🤝🙏👊🏼

    • @daviddemars
      @daviddemars  9 месяцев назад +5

      Thank you very much for telling, I appreciate your time and honesty. I know confirmation and validation cna really help heal from a traumatic relationship.

  • @rorywright5692
    @rorywright5692 9 месяцев назад +9

    Hi, David! Rory from Ohio! I can’t even begin to tell you what havoc his Por. Addiction caused. Even while in a nursing facility! SMH!

    • @daviddemars
      @daviddemars  9 месяцев назад +3

      I bet Rory, all the stressbit caused you must have been just too much to take on.

    • @emilemerten6535
      @emilemerten6535 9 месяцев назад +1

      Hi Rory
      I’m sorry to hear that.

  • @veronicawillingham9004
    @veronicawillingham9004 6 месяцев назад +5

    He wanted it 6-8 times a day & had many fetishes, feet an&l, watched CORN 24/7, found a CORN star that looked like me and showed me..is this usual in the BPD? I knew I couldn’t sustain his needs nor wanted to and left. Before I left, I caught him cheating even after all I did to be everything. Hurtful…

  • @alimccreery755
    @alimccreery755 7 месяцев назад +3

    Hi David from Ali here in Sacramento. Another great video with information for me to internalize and ponder over 👍👍

  • @Rizkbill
    @Rizkbill 5 месяцев назад +12

    My ex who suffers from untreated BPD. When I was getting to know her 2nd date she initiated sex and was insisting. But I realized that I didn't really know her and resisted. After we started dating we were intimate for the first 2-month then she withdrew sex and I kept trying to win her over to be intimate for the following 3-years. She flirts with almost every guy she meets, but for me the guy that loved her and supported her with everything, there was no sex. I was looked at as a parent and as her favorite person. I finally had to draw the line and told her friends don't do all the stuff that I am doing for her. Gave her an ultimatum to either be with me all the way or to disappear from my life permanently. She chose the later. We are in no contact. I wonder if she will ever show up again. For now she seems that she is perfectly fine with me out of her life as if I meant nothing to her. She probably only misses the financial support I was providing her with. I am sticking to my guns and resisting to reach out to her as it will be more of the same if I do. And I do not want more of the same heartbreaking cycle. Not easy on me at all.

    • @RocaFella1
      @RocaFella1 4 месяца назад +2

      3 years is a long time, find someone else and never get back with her.

    • @Rizkbill
      @Rizkbill 4 месяца назад +4

      @@RocaFella1 I have been in no contact for over a month now. It is easier said than done. I am trauma bonded and suffering with PTSD. But fighting to never contact her again as I do not want more of the same. This illness is so traumatic to both the holder of the disease and the person closest to them. Really sad situation.

    • @RocaFella1
      @RocaFella1 4 месяца назад +1

      This is very serious, if you let your mind trick you to get back with her you’re going to ruin your life. Be harder with your self on this, delete everything related to her (phone number, photos, email…) don’t even answer if she calls or texts. Don’t be isolated go out, do hobbies, sport and work. Don’t project her behavior into other women and don’t be bitter.

    • @tonrobert3391
      @tonrobert3391 3 месяца назад +1

      I promise she will reach back out to you Eventually be it directly or indirectly ie hoover they very ill people

    • @Rizkbill
      @Rizkbill 3 месяца назад

      @@tonrobert3391 I sent her well wishes for a religious holiday after 3-month of no contact. We chatted back and forth then she said that she is unable to find a job and is going through a hard time. I told her to wear the gold ring with a heart that I bought her prior to the break-up I told her to think of me and that the ring will bring her luck. She called me and apologized for hurting me and that she sold the ring and everything else to survive. She said that she had a stroke in her heart. I told her never mind all material things can be replaced main thing is that she stays healthy. She said that she will get married soon to a complete stranger as she is desperate for financial support. I wished her well and told her I hope he treats her good as she deserves the best. I told her that I will ask about her from time to time. She said "NO" she does not want me to get attached again and to hurt me again. She asked for forgiveness. I told her that I was never mad at her in the first place in order to forgive her. I told her that I always wish her well and that I am always available if she wants to talk and seek advise. I felt terrible after that call, it opened up a wound that did not quite heal. Is she trying to hoover me back and I initiated it? What should I do, I do not want more of the same painful and confusing, toxic relationship. At the same time I feel so bad for her and I do miss her so much. I am as confused as could be.

  • @lauraboyd79
    @lauraboyd79 9 месяцев назад +13

    Another interesting video David. Thank you.
    I have quiet (high functioning BPD), where I internalise all my hate and blame against the self. Do you have any videos on that, rather than just the classic?

    • @daviddemars
      @daviddemars  9 месяцев назад +6

      Hi Laura, thank you and yes I do. Checkout my playlist and I always take suggestions so if you can't find it or want me to make a video just ask.

  • @taanyahlee
    @taanyahlee 9 месяцев назад +5

    It's nice to see that I'm not alone in this area. Being touched is hard and I can't easily give in to intimacy.

  • @SamytheBullFitness
    @SamytheBullFitness 8 месяцев назад +9

    Took my partner with BPD on vacation trying to make the moment magical, she was texting her x by going to the room constantly, she had sex with me several times then blamed me for being somewhat pushy which i was not, she told me she had a great time on vacation but afterwards told me i did things that made her realize i was no good, like buy one pack of cigarettes at a time instead of a cartoon, which in her eyes was to control her...never figured out that the hell happened, trip cost me over $5K, i got her clothes and several excursions only to be told it was all in bad intention. Did not even get a Happy New Year from her, she's now back with her bum x that abuses her.

    • @barb7124
      @barb7124 5 месяцев назад +1

      Sounds like an addict. Abusive up and down relationships can be addicting.

    • @shaunlannary2848
      @shaunlannary2848 4 месяца назад +1

      I've figured that subconscious extreme dislike of themselves makes her suspicious of being treated well .

    • @attroenergizer8115
      @attroenergizer8115 9 дней назад

      this is just classic blueprint they have

  • @Liz-wz8dh
    @Liz-wz8dh 8 месяцев назад +5

    What I struggle with is how they have no sense of privacy. They tell everyone all about their sexual escapades and it could be with people they just met. They're so fast in love after spending the weekend with someone and on Monday they're telling everyone at the office all the shit they did with their new lover. Unless you were raised by a prostitute, I don't see how they don't get that this is inappropriate.

  • @paulsenzig9097
    @paulsenzig9097 9 месяцев назад +6

    Hello David Paul from Wisconsin. Hope you are doing well 😊 .I'm doing good 👍

    • @daviddemars
      @daviddemars  9 месяцев назад +2

      Hi Paul, thank you and its good to hear you are good. I am too!

  • @anamouchette5588
    @anamouchette5588 8 месяцев назад +4

    You nailed it! ❤

  • @lynnfeinman6208
    @lynnfeinman6208 5 месяцев назад +2

    I'm glad I found your channel. Thank you.

  • @milenmarinov7292
    @milenmarinov7292 9 дней назад

    After realizing the woman that I was dating has borderline and aways twists and lies even for small things it left me speechless, my libido droped, i lost weight I started to feel like I am trash and I developed social anxiety, couldn't sit and find a job as I was too anxious to even talk to human beings.... Still recovering but year she messed up my sex drive....

  • @Scorpio200
    @Scorpio200 Месяц назад

    New subscriber.I love the straight forward.No nonsense approach

  • @jonathanarmen-xi2dx
    @jonathanarmen-xi2dx 5 месяцев назад +3

    The lady I knew did some terrible things with men and totally did not even enjoy it. She denied her husband sex and accused him of cheating when she cheated on him 5 times in the time I knew her.

    • @MechPhoenix
      @MechPhoenix Месяц назад

      Are you one of those men? It sounds like you're talking about a random woman but then why would you know something like that about her... usually men take advantage of women with problematic sexual behaviours and than dismiss their involvement in the situation

  • @mrfake675
    @mrfake675 9 дней назад

    From All the time, Best ever to Barely ever, Rarely satisfied, 100% conditional. F Em.

  • @ddtrahan
    @ddtrahan 6 месяцев назад +3

    My case is the worse case scenario being w/a BPD woman for 19 years. I won’t live long bc of this and her having 8 kids.

  • @steveodonnell9476
    @steveodonnell9476 5 месяцев назад +4

    Why would a borderline need to watch porn during sex to get off

  • @keilaniepuahio976
    @keilaniepuahio976 6 месяцев назад

    I'm French and borderline, thank you so much for the video ❤! Really you are precious for us 🙏

  • @barb7124
    @barb7124 5 месяцев назад +3

    Im wondering if my husband has BPD

  • @paperplane00
    @paperplane00 7 месяцев назад +4

    OMG. I experienced the trauma of my ex gf wbpd. Now I realize she had dissociated and then after she told me she felt violated and dirty after sex with me. I feel terrible now that you explained dissociation, which now makes sense regarding her behaviors afterward. She tells me we are not sexually compatible so she wants to be my best life long best friend now. I have psychological trauma as a result of the emasculation she provided upon me and I now suffer from patterned ED.

  • @victoriamuniz9851
    @victoriamuniz9851 9 месяцев назад +7

    Good morning David I got a new neighbor I can hear her screaming and breaking stuff all night long the next day she came to my door threatening me her husband came later on and apologized and said she was schizophrenic do I have anything to worry about I know nothing about schizophrenic people

    • @rorywright5692
      @rorywright5692 9 месяцев назад

      Hi, Victoria! That would be so scary!!😥😥

    • @victoriamuniz9851
      @victoriamuniz9851 9 месяцев назад +2

      @@rorywright5692 hi Rory is schizophrenia automatically a scary thing I don't know much about it her husband said don't worry about it she's fine I'm hoping David can tell me what schizophrenia means

  • @niceoklahoma6516
    @niceoklahoma6516 7 месяцев назад +1

    How can I tell if the girl I'm dating has BPD or covert narcissist??

    • @tonrobert3391
      @tonrobert3391 3 месяца назад +1

      Signs of borderline personality disorder
      According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
      Patterns of unstable or changing relationships-that alternate between idealization and devaluation of someone

      Fear of abandonment

      Unstable self-image

      Struggles with identity or sense of self

      Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors-like excessive spending, substance abuse, reckless driving, or unsafe sex

      Self-harm, including suicidal threats or attempts

      Mood swings-periods of intense anxiety, depressed moods, or irritability that last for hours or days

      Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness

      Inappropriate, intense, or uncontrollable anger-that’s sometimes followed by shame or guilty feelings

      Paranoia or loss of grasp of reality, caused by stress

      Persistent feelings of boredom, emptiness, or dissatisfaction

      Dissociative feelings, where someone disconnects from their thoughts or sense of identity
      Look for manipulation or manipulative behavior mirroring ie copy of your personality to form a false bond with on her part ❤

    • @thelukeewan7602
      @thelukeewan7602 18 дней назад

      Run from either

  • @digicrazemd
    @digicrazemd 9 месяцев назад +2

    Hi sir, Are you looking for professional RUclips thumbnail designer?

  • @RDDonohue
    @RDDonohue 2 месяца назад

    What is “too fast”? It seems so subjective

  • @Dirt11728
    @Dirt11728 8 месяцев назад +1

    My bpd ex causally meantioned withholding sex and I said you withhold it and we are over. She never brought it up again. O and I'm as close to having BPD as possible and I fully enjoy having sex and I'm hyper sexual so this stuff he's saying about BPD men avoiding sex isn't true

    • @thegentlemansclubshow2277
      @thegentlemansclubshow2277 6 месяцев назад +6

      From your comment you come across much more like a narcissist. Including the fact that he said women “typically” are more sexual with bpd and men tend to be more avoidant, or that men who have been traumatized by a bpd lover become sexually avoidant. He’s not talking about YOU. But you made it out to be that way and then said he’s wrong. Get some help

    • @Dirt11728
      @Dirt11728 6 месяцев назад

      @@thegentlemansclubshow2277 thank you for your professional diagnosis Doc.

    • @crazy-maxedout8512
      @crazy-maxedout8512 Месяц назад

      ​@@thegentlemansclubshow2277😂😂😂

  • @KrankyClownFPS
    @KrankyClownFPS 8 месяцев назад +2

    Get to meat and potatoes quicker. This meanders, and generalizes a lot.