Josh you are so badass and helpful to people. Toxic parents are beyond devastating but CAN be overcome. When it used to feel like an irreperable life for me to live. Thank you
Wow, this is so hard to listen to, but also validating, my alcoholic mum (I finally went no contact three years ago) was extremely toxic, I both hate her and love her and it feels like I will never heal. Thanks for making these videos, much love!!!! /Maria
Toxic Parents 1.Compete against you. Esp if they're of the same gender. Will put you and your achievements down but will brag about you to others. 2. Hyper Critical. And you grow up hyper critical of yourself and insecure. 3. You won't be allowed to have your own emotions (or opinions) if you do, you won't fit in. You become an expert in managing other people's emotions. Your pain is clouding their struggles. 4. You are an extension of your parents. They always talk of how your behavior impacted them, how hard your teenage years impacted them. How hard it was to raise you for them. 5. Guilt is weaponised ahainst you regularly because every time they do something nice for you, they will reminf you about it for years, and then when you grow up, and people do nice things for you just because, you get overwhelmed, because you're used to people having some agenda behind their giving, and you want to do do something in return, and are confused why they don't want anything in kind. 5. Youre afraid to say gour emotions, because you seek love from your parents, so you become a chronic people pleaser. You're needs are 2nd at best. You become hyper vigilant to signs of them being displeased 6. They never, ever see their fault of the situation. No insight. Not even if you show it to them in text. 7. No boundaries. You don't realize you can have you can have your emotions, your thoughts your privacy till you let go
Thank you Josh for existing because you put into my situation in words that it doesn’t minimize my pain but validates me I could only find two other RUclipsrs that somewhat talk about toxic relationships they’re “Boze vs. the world” and “nicque marina” For the person who said they’re angry in the video ( idk if they’ll see this comment but I know everyone who had toxic parents is angry to some degree including myself so to everyone that is mad) Anger is the part of your self that loves you the most. It Knows when you were being mistreated, neglected, and disrespected. it’s signals that you have to take a step out of that place that doesn’t do you justice. It Makes you aware that you need to leave a room a job or a relationship, old patterns that don’t work for you anymore. Learn to listen to your anger make it your best friend. then It’ll leave. - by a client of a good therapist
I wrote my mother a no contact letter. She didn’t reply. She had her main flying monkey (my stepfather) send me an email containing just 2 words: “Get help”
I was grieving my mum's death when my dad met my step mother, I was about 12 when my step mum said I should be "over it by now" when I was having a particularly hard day. It had only been 6 months since my mum passed away. Also, when I got my GCSE results, my grades weren't as high as I'd hoped, and instead of my dad recognizing that I had tried my best despite losing my mum in year 7 and battling grief throughout high school, I'd still gotten good grades and was able to go to college, he criticized and told me he expected better. I felt so deflated.
Realizing this behavior is powerful in growing. I realized a lot of my character flaws stemmed from survival reflexes (fight, flight, fawn, freeze) and sort of became the only way I could “protect myself” in the chaos. Now that I am an adult, I realized how much I was self sabotaging my relationships without even realizing it because these survival tactics were no longer serving me. Easy does it.
Try being an adopted child of toxic parents. I’m their token of how good they are My dad actually apologized to my brother and I when we got older but my mom still claims ignorance to everything and claims victimization
"I'm the Crazy and evil one", 😏but They stalker me on social media. My parents and sibilings. My niece, young adult had learned this patterns of behavours. Doesn't mattter how many times I explained to her that I'm better without THEM, she plays as "saviour" and tried to hoover me in their narrative in the Name of "Family & Love". 🤦♀️ I live in other country. I blocked them again and again. 🙄 It's allways a new accounts. I try to heal since 2019 from toxicity in my work, and town. I got mentally and physically ill. Finally I found my Bike, the nature, being with Myself and planning to move to another place, and Being a Enough Mother to my kids. It's hard work and time. 👊🤟 Thank you so much for sharing your experience and knowlege ❤❤❤❤❤❤ ❤ Toxic parents. It's my endless struggel
If you think you wronged your kid or say grounded them then you got new info that exonerated them apologize to the kid as if they're an adult but w/o the excuses say based on the info when I grounded you I came to this conclusion but now the new info supports you or xyz and I'm sorry I punished you for this I've learned xyz and will take more time in the future to think such conflicts through but continue to be honest with me no matter what when these sort of things come up.
OMG you are describing my former in-laws! It was such a sick dynamic. Thank you for validating I was NOT CRAZY!!!
Josh you are so badass and helpful to people. Toxic parents are beyond devastating but CAN be overcome. When it used to feel like an irreperable life for me to live. Thank you
Wow, this is so hard to listen to, but also validating, my alcoholic mum (I finally went no contact three years ago) was extremely toxic, I both hate her and love her and it feels like I will never heal.
Thanks for making these videos, much love!!!!
/Maria
Toxic Parents
1.Compete against you. Esp if they're of the same gender. Will put you and your achievements down but will brag about you to others.
2. Hyper Critical. And you grow up hyper critical of yourself and insecure.
3. You won't be allowed to have your own emotions (or opinions) if you do, you won't fit in. You become an expert in managing other people's emotions. Your pain is clouding their struggles.
4. You are an extension of your parents. They always talk of how your behavior impacted them, how hard your teenage years impacted them. How hard it was to raise you for them. 5. Guilt is weaponised ahainst you regularly because every time they do something nice for you, they will reminf you about it for years, and then when you grow up, and people do nice things for you just because, you get overwhelmed, because you're used to people having some agenda behind their giving, and you want to do do something in return, and are confused why they don't want anything in kind.
5. Youre afraid to say gour emotions, because you seek love from your parents, so you become a chronic people pleaser. You're needs are 2nd at best. You become hyper vigilant to signs of them being displeased
6. They never, ever see their fault of the situation. No insight. Not even if you show it to them in text.
7. No boundaries. You don't realize you can have you can have your emotions, your thoughts your privacy till you let go
Thank you Josh for existing because you put into my situation in words that it doesn’t minimize my pain but validates me I could only find two other RUclipsrs that somewhat talk about toxic relationships they’re “Boze vs. the world” and “nicque marina”
For the person who said they’re angry in the video ( idk if they’ll see this comment but I know everyone who had toxic parents is angry to some degree including myself so to everyone that is mad)
Anger is the part of your self that loves you the most. It Knows when you were being mistreated, neglected, and disrespected. it’s signals that you have to take a step out of that place that doesn’t do you justice. It Makes you aware that you need to leave a room a job or a relationship, old patterns that don’t work for you anymore. Learn to listen to your anger make it your best friend. then It’ll leave. - by a client of a good therapist
You have no idea how much this helped me, thank you.
I wrote my mother a no contact letter. She didn’t reply. She had her main flying monkey (my stepfather) send me an email containing just 2 words: “Get help”
I was grieving my mum's death when my dad met my step mother, I was about 12 when my step mum said I should be "over it by now" when I was having a particularly hard day. It had only been 6 months since my mum passed away.
Also, when I got my GCSE results, my grades weren't as high as I'd hoped, and instead of my dad recognizing that I had tried my best despite losing my mum in year 7 and battling grief throughout high school, I'd still gotten good grades and was able to go to college, he criticized and told me he expected better. I felt so deflated.
Omg, I'm a child of a toxic parent. I use silent treatment all the time with my mum, I hope I'm not a toxic person 🙁
Cutting someone who is hurting you is very different to the silent treatment
Realizing this behavior is powerful in growing. I realized a lot of my character flaws stemmed from survival reflexes (fight, flight, fawn, freeze) and sort of became the only way I could “protect myself” in the chaos. Now that I am an adult, I realized how much I was self sabotaging my relationships without even realizing it because these survival tactics were no longer serving me. Easy does it.
You're changing lives 👏 Peoole (me) get a lot of strength from watching your content. Thank you!
Try being an adopted child of toxic parents. I’m their token of how good they are
My dad actually apologized to my brother and I when we got older but my mom still claims ignorance to everything and claims victimization
Thanks a lot! Just found you and listening, very useful to find some missing knowledge :) you made my day!
"I'm the Crazy and evil one", 😏but They stalker me on social media. My parents and sibilings.
My niece, young adult had learned this patterns of behavours. Doesn't mattter how many times I explained to her that I'm better without THEM, she plays as "saviour" and tried to hoover me in their narrative in the Name of "Family & Love". 🤦♀️
I live in other country. I blocked them again and again. 🙄
It's allways a new accounts.
I try to heal since 2019 from toxicity in my work, and town.
I got mentally and physically ill.
Finally I found my Bike, the nature, being with Myself and planning to move to another place, and Being a Enough Mother to my kids.
It's hard work and time. 👊🤟
Thank you so much for sharing your experience and knowlege ❤❤❤❤❤❤
❤ Toxic parents. It's my endless struggel
Thanks man, it helped me a lot
Thanks Josh. I find these videos so validating.
My mother actually said that all the time! Never bragged and said she wouldn’t!!!
Thank you for this 👏🏼🫶🏼
Love these! Thank you and I like them on here, too! I think it’s my aversion to social media. 😂
My dad has now moved onto my sons totally derailing my role as a father
My heart goes out to you. Absolute betrayal. I'm sorry you are having to endure this abuse❤❤
If you think you wronged your kid or say grounded them then you got new info that exonerated them apologize to the kid as if they're an adult but w/o the excuses say based on the info when I grounded you I came to this conclusion but now the new info supports you or xyz and I'm sorry I punished you for this I've learned xyz and will take more time in the future to think such conflicts through but continue to be honest with me no matter what when these sort of things come up.