I used to be like this. When I stopped being like this and started saying "no" and standing up for myself, all of my "friends" seemed to magically disappear. I decided I rather be alone and happy, than surround by users and miserable! 😁
@@zzyasmine5922 I do have one best friend who has been there for me through everything. I've known her for appx 17 years. She's got a heart of gold for sure. I'm so thankful to have her in my life. She's made me realize that it's the quality of friends that count and not the quantity. 😍
The accuracy of all this hurts😭, especially the frantic rearranging of my schedule and then the premature apology “for anything I’ve forgotten to apologize for or anything I’m going to do in the future.” 😭😂
Was about to take a shower, this video inconvenienced me a lot, now I can’t make it to my grandmother’s funeral, my dog is dead, and I just got robbed. Thanks a lot.
"That's Matt like a doormat, but with two Ts" The restaurant scene, not wanting to send the food back and still giving a generous tip. That's my husband!!😂🤣👍
"I apologize you guys had to come to my funeral--on a Saturday!" 😄😄😄 As a people pleaser in rehab, here are my top ten unhealthy techniques I learned to avoid conflict: 1. Sneak to your car after work to avoid your boss or coworkers to avoid agreeing to any extra work. 2. Find a very strong-willed significant other to make all of your decisions for you. 3. Let all phone calls go to voicemail first. 4. If you get a bad "vibe" from your server at the restaurant, just leave without saying anything and eat dinner 2 hours later at another restaurant. 5. Be sure in your group of friends there is someone who has a lot more issues than you do, so you don't look like the weird one of the group. 6. If you disagree with your friends, just never talk to them, and eventually you will make new friends. (You might be lonely for a year or two inbetween) 7. How low financial goals, because any job that pays well will require conflict. Find a job at Barnes&Noble or something like that. 8. Work overtime so that you can pay the mechanic an extra $1500 dollars each time you take your car in because it will be too hard to say no to all the extra work your car doesn't need. 9. Learn to enjoy undercooked food instead of sending it back and complaining. 10. Learn to listen for long periods of time because you will attract people that are a little narcissistic and don't care much what you have to say. *Bonus 11. It's best to cry alone in your car or in the shower where no one can see you. Don't burden others with your tears.
Number 10 hit home. I find myself listening to everyone else talk about themselves.. it really gets exhausting sometimes. Then when you have something to say it's like they cant be bothered by it.
I go to therapy for this…somehow you made me laugh about it, thank you! It weirdly makes me feel better to see someone joke about it. You guys are so talented!!!
I’ll watch all the ads, like the video and subscribe. Feel free to borrow my car or take my house, whatever ya need. I’ll be outside, out of everybody’s way.
This is horrible. You should check out Robert Higgins comment "As a people pleaser in rehab, here are my top ten unhealthy techniques I learned to avoid conflict" a few below the top of the comments. Although I would say they are a bit too much to be going out of mine or anyone elses way. Lol Enjoy the laugh ;)
When I was in my twenties and used to apologize for my very existence again and again, a friend told me to stop doing that. And I was such a people pleaser that I made that a goal. It really helped to not apologize for everything all the time.
Wow yeah you guys really hit the nail on the head with this one. The only thing you forgot was a scene where he needed to give someone his shirt (shirt off his back) LOL please do a part 2. People pleasers have tons of material to work with lol
Isn't it just totally rude not to????? I mean maybe a close friend or something you can tease them on a corny or unfunny joke but...like if an acquaintance or stranger makes a joke I feel like I have to laugh to show appreciation of the effort taken to make me laugh because I think it is a nice gesture, even if it's totally cringey. Or maybe I'm just a super people pleaser because I have done a lot more of the things in this video than I care to admit to myself 😂
When you actually start speaking up for yourself and saying no, and people immediately make fun of that too when it is exactly the reaction I try not to get by being a people pleaser
@@alastairtheduke I appreciate the sentiment. I stopped talking to those people a long time ago and they stopped talking to me, but the wounds and scars are unfortunately still there
Spot on 🙌 . Very Thankful I met my husband, he has patiently coached me to STOP being like this. It’s incredibly hard to undue this behavior when it’s ingrained as a child...because of trauma. I stand up for myself now and my children are leaders ❤️ Not pleasers .
I walked into a nail shop to get a mani/pedi as an overdue treat. They removed my peeling polish and then sloppily put on new paint, no foot soak, no filing, buffing, nothing. 1/10 service but I left a tip with tears in my eyes bc I didn't want them to feel bad 🤦🏾♀️ 🤣. 'Boundaries' by Henry Cloud has been super helpful.
I have done the same thing with a hair cut that was terrible. I told them it was great, tipped, and went home and tearfully hacked it myself into something slightly less awful. 😂 Why didn't I just have them fix it???
I just changed nail shops. I had been going to my lady for 5 months every two weeks. I feel so bad. She couldn’t paint. And moved too fast. I always left a tip. I even recommended people to her lol.
This is me at work. In the middle of doing the thing that someone asked me to do, they'll ask me to do something else before I'm finished the first thing and then I'm just passive aggresively helping everyone. Good thing they can't see my expression due to my mask. Gotta fix this.
I’m laughing so hard - he verbalized all of my internal thoughts from middle school until college. People pleasing is just one way insecurities manifest itself :) thank goodness I don’t care about what people think anymore 🥰🥰🥰
Ha ha I’m a big people pleaser and really working on overcoming that lol! Getting much better over the years. I would say sorry a lot until my manager told me “stop saying sorry makes you look unconfident”. This is a good video.
He probably said, "Call me whatever you want. It doesn't matter. Whatever makes _you_ comfortable". Or he just didn't bother to correct him the first time and now it's been 5 years and it's too late to correct him.😅
oh gosh... when i was younger i had this issue... and OH MY GOSH that moment of other people being like "oh wauw you're standing up for yourself" and mocking it - BECAUSE it was something so dumb like a movie xD ooooooooh my it was painful... i hate when others made a big deal out of the fact i finally spoke my mind :D especially cause it was so minor. could have just left it guys! don't mock me... haha glad that phase of life is over.
I don’t know how many times I’ve had to go back-and-forth between people trying to reconfigure my plans because I tried to help too many people at one time 😬🤦🏼♀️😂
My dad actually called the waiter over and asked if it bothers him if people ask for stuff because I told my dad I didn't want to bother him after I refused to ask for a straw.....
“Why do I say yes to nine things every Saturday?” Because I am incapable of saying no when there’s even the slightest possibility I could make it work. Who needs sleep?
I think sometimes being a “people pleaser” is better like when u come to a restaurant 5 mins or less before it closes, just leave them alone lol they have been working hard
😂 Me with my roommates: I am so sorry for taking up any space in the kitchen! You guys have a lot more things that you deserve to store! Don’t worry, I will make sure you can’t tell I even live here by storing all of my food under my bed! I’m so sorry, can I just store one thing in the fridge? I promise I will use it so quickly that you won’t even know it was there!
"There is nothing wrong with ppl like this" .... I disagree It sucks to have to have this personally. 🤷♀️ but everyone else loves you have that personality.
Definitely something wrong with acting like this. It's not healthy. Yet for lots it's deeply ingrained into their belief system to where even if you want to say no you automatically say yes. Guess you wouldn't know though if you've never had the issue.
This is the way my mom is. When she tells my father what she thinks of people he always asks if she really said that. When she did say something (which is very rare) he goes, “oh you whipped out Middle-Aged Jen”
if you’re a people pleaser, and can never say no when people ask for favors, just remember that everything you say “yes” to is saying “no” to something else.
This is me. I am a people pleaser but I will stand up for myself if someone pushes me too far or upsets me. It bothers me so much if someone doesn't like me, I do everything to make that person like me.
It’s intersecting how there’s always that one person who tells their people pleaser friend to say “no”, and stand up for themself, but that person also just thrives off of the people pleaser.
I had a friend like this once. I loved her and we got super close but the friendship didn't last. Half of our time hanging out was spent with her apologizing for absolutely nothing. She moved away but we had drifted apart by then.
There’s tomatoes on my burger, which sucks, because I ordered spaghetti 😂.
Dying!!!😝😂😅😂😃
😂😂
😂😂😂
Hilarious!! 😂😂
@@MonaLucy15257 don’t worry I’ll call an ambulance
I used to be like this. When I stopped being like this and started saying "no" and standing up for myself, all of my "friends" seemed to magically disappear. I decided I rather be alone and happy, than surround by users and miserable! 😁
Lol, sounds like you gotta surround yourself with real friends, but they're hard to find😅😂😂
having to constantly explain yourself to them why you couldn't make or do it.
@@zzyasmine5922 I do have one best friend who has been there for me through everything. I've known her for appx 17 years. She's got a heart of gold for sure. I'm so thankful to have her in my life. She's made me realize that it's the quality of friends that count and not the quantity. 😍
Happened to me with a couple friends too
Amen to that!!
I'm not a people pleaser, but that sympathetic laugh is 100% me😂😂😂
This is my brother-in-law to a T!!
Yeah me too
Lol I do a little smile and half laugh
I think that’s almost everyone. It’s universal to fake laugh at bad jokes face to face
Same!!!!
The accuracy of all this hurts😭, especially the frantic rearranging of my schedule and then the premature apology “for anything I’ve forgotten to apologize for or anything I’m going to do in the future.” 😭😂
I love how he apologizes for being dead and not being able to pick ppl up from the airport😂
😭😭😭
😂😂
I cannot apologize enough for being dead lmaooooo
Lmao that surprised mocking when the people pleaser stands up for themselves is so accurate
Amen
And how if a people pleaser says no, everyone acts like they just said “up yours.” *eye spit*.
Was about to take a shower, this video inconvenienced me a lot, now I can’t make it to my grandmother’s funeral, my dog is dead, and I just got robbed. Thanks a lot.
This is exactly what Jake feared. So sorry.
That escalated quickly! 😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
I HAVE BEEN FALLING FOR THIRTY MINUTES
What? That’s Matt, not Jake.
I used to be this way; then I heard a quote. “Always choose guilt over resentment.”
Good one
nice!
How about choosing neither one?
"That's Matt like a doormat, but with two Ts" The restaurant scene, not wanting to send the food back and still giving a generous tip. That's my husband!!😂🤣👍
Mine too!!
@@christinagaudreau3840 😂✌️
Mine once tipped when there was HAIR IN HIS FOOD, which he obviously did not finish. 🤦🏻♀️😂
@@meredith8625 Oh my gosh!🤣
That's my EX husband. 😂😆😂😆
“If you’re here this I’m super dead”
That quote is now in my obituary, thank you
This is painfully accurate!
hi michelle 😂
The constant apologies is the most relatable. I definitely get told far too often to stop apologizing for nothing..
Dude it’s hard to stop, cuz like, what else do you say? I read somewhere that you can replace “sorry” with “thank you” and it’s helped me a lot
“I am unable to commit to that, my schedule is full” “No…NO” “I’m practicing”
Me AF 😂😂😂😩
"I apologize you guys had to come to my funeral--on a Saturday!" 😄😄😄
As a people pleaser in rehab, here are my top ten unhealthy techniques I learned to avoid conflict:
1. Sneak to your car after work to avoid your boss or coworkers to avoid agreeing to any extra work.
2. Find a very strong-willed significant other to make all of your decisions for you.
3. Let all phone calls go to voicemail first.
4. If you get a bad "vibe" from your server at the restaurant, just leave without saying anything and eat dinner 2 hours later at another restaurant.
5. Be sure in your group of friends there is someone who has a lot more issues than you do, so you don't look like the weird one of the group.
6. If you disagree with your friends, just never talk to them, and eventually you will make new friends. (You might be lonely for a year or two inbetween)
7. How low financial goals, because any job that pays well will require conflict. Find a job at Barnes&Noble or something like that.
8. Work overtime so that you can pay the mechanic an extra $1500 dollars each time you take your car in because it will be too hard to say no to all the extra work your car doesn't need.
9. Learn to enjoy undercooked food instead of sending it back and complaining.
10. Learn to listen for long periods of time because you will attract people that are a little narcissistic and don't care much what you have to say.
*Bonus
11. It's best to cry alone in your car or in the shower where no one can see you. Don't burden others with your tears.
Wow, really needed this🙏
damn this hits home I legit did #4 0________0
Kind of related to all of them but #10 was the stab through the heart.
😂🤣😂
Number 10 hit home. I find myself listening to everyone else talk about themselves.. it really gets exhausting sometimes. Then when you have something to say it's like they cant be bothered by it.
I go to therapy for this…somehow you made me laugh about it, thank you! It weirdly makes me feel better to see someone joke about it. You guys are so talented!!!
Literally spent $5000 talking about this in therapy 😂😂
Some times a cure can be watching people talk about the weakness you have Doing this helped me nearly completely get rid of OCD
@@misschanandlerbong92 that’s a lot of money! I hope you are doing well :)
@@carmelpereira6003 i’m doing amazing! Thank you 🥰 just started school for my dream career!
@@misschanandlerbong92 Wonderful to know you’re well. Congratulations on your new career path! God bless.
This is scarily just like me. Especially the "take the whole couch" part. Loved it.
I’ll watch all the ads, like the video and subscribe. Feel free to borrow my car or take my house, whatever ya need. I’ll be outside, out of everybody’s way.
This made me giggle more than I think it should've... probably because I identify so closely with it. 😬😂😭
Oh man yeah that's rough!
This is horrible. You should check out Robert Higgins comment "As a people pleaser in rehab, here are my top ten unhealthy techniques I learned to avoid conflict" a few below the top of the comments. Although I would say they are a bit too much to be going out of mine or anyone elses way. Lol Enjoy the laugh ;)
When I was in my twenties and used to apologize for my very existence again and again, a friend told me to stop doing that. And I was such a people pleaser that I made that a goal. It really helped to not apologize for everything all the time.
“My name is Matt, like door mat, but with two Ts. You can still walk all over me.”
😂
Didn't he just say that? 😏
WoW! These videos keep hitting closer and closer to home! So funny though!
Didn't even realize I did all of those things till this video called me out lol
Wow yeah you guys really hit the nail on the head with this one. The only thing you forgot was a scene where he needed to give someone his shirt (shirt off his back) LOL
please do a part 2. People pleasers have tons of material to work with lol
Why do I feel like I have to laugh at everyone’s “jokes” even if they’re not funny 😭😭😭
Isn't it just totally rude not to????? I mean maybe a close friend or something you can tease them on a corny or unfunny joke but...like if an acquaintance or stranger makes a joke I feel like I have to laugh to show appreciation of the effort taken to make me laugh because I think it is a nice gesture, even if it's totally cringey. Or maybe I'm just a super people pleaser because I have done a lot more of the things in this video than I care to admit to myself 😂
When you actually start speaking up for yourself and saying no, and people immediately make fun of that too when it is exactly the reaction I try not to get by being a people pleaser
lose those friends
@@alastairtheduke I appreciate the sentiment. I stopped talking to those people a long time ago and they stopped talking to me, but the wounds and scars are unfortunately still there
Spot on 🙌 . Very Thankful I met my husband, he has patiently coached me to STOP being like this. It’s incredibly hard to undue this behavior when it’s ingrained as a child...because of trauma. I stand up for myself now and my children are leaders ❤️ Not pleasers .
One thing I’m glad changed with age is my constant willingness to please everyone but myself. With age, wisdom and strength do come.
1:14 I've never related to something more in my whole life😂😂😂
I think I’ve done all of these things and now I’m seriously considering therapy.😂
Everyone needs therapy! It’s truly helpful
Do it!!!
This was funny, but low-key eye-opening for me. People pleasing is truly exHaustiNg😫😫😫😫
Right! Couldn't agree more!
I walked into a nail shop to get a mani/pedi as an overdue treat. They removed my peeling polish and then sloppily put on new paint, no foot soak, no filing, buffing, nothing. 1/10 service but I left a tip with tears in my eyes bc I didn't want them to feel bad 🤦🏾♀️ 🤣. 'Boundaries' by Henry Cloud has been super helpful.
Bless your heart, Jaz. It sounds like you have a heart of gold. It's okay to stand up for ourselves though.
I have done the same thing with a hair cut that was terrible. I told them it was great, tipped, and went home and tearfully hacked it myself into something slightly less awful. 😂 Why didn't I just have them fix it???
Great book!
I just changed nail shops. I had been going to my lady for 5 months every two weeks. I feel so bad. She couldn’t paint. And moved too fast. I always left a tip. I even recommended people to her lol.
@@SuckerPunch92 Not a recommendation 😂 I'm glad you were able to put your foot down and move on
This is me at work. In the middle of doing the thing that someone asked me to do, they'll ask me to do something else before I'm finished the first thing and then I'm just passive aggresively helping everyone. Good thing they can't see my expression due to my mask. Gotta fix this.
How does this make Jake 100x cuter?? I didn’t realize it was possible. Love a good doormat
Wow! Totally me, ppl pleaser and it is exhausting😴.
I’m laughing so hard - he verbalized all of my internal thoughts from middle school until college. People pleasing is just one way insecurities manifest itself :) thank goodness I don’t care about what people think anymore 🥰🥰🥰
Actually loved watching this because I am trying to get rid of some of these habits 😅 I feel so much better about it now
I feel like you just reenacted my entire life
Ha ha I’m a big people pleaser and really working on overcoming that lol! Getting much better over the years. I would say sorry a lot until my manager told me “stop saying sorry makes you look unconfident”. This is a good video.
I love at the beginning he says his name is Matt but then Trey calls him Jake later in the video
Ahh, I didn’t notice that …Good catch!
He probably said, "Call me whatever you want. It doesn't matter. Whatever makes _you_ comfortable". Or he just didn't bother to correct him the first time and now it's been 5 years and it's too late to correct him.😅
oh gosh... when i was younger i had this issue... and OH MY GOSH that moment of other people being like "oh wauw you're standing up for yourself" and mocking it - BECAUSE it was something so dumb like a movie xD ooooooooh my it was painful... i hate when others made a big deal out of the fact i finally spoke my mind :D especially cause it was so minor. could have just left it guys! don't mock me... haha glad that phase of life is over.
yup!
I don’t know how many times I’ve had to go back-and-forth between people trying to reconfigure my plans because I tried to help too many people at one time 😬🤦🏼♀️😂
Me too
My dad actually called the waiter over and asked if it bothers him if people ask for stuff because I told my dad I didn't want to bother him after I refused to ask for a straw.....
I love that your dad did this xD. "let's just get over this fear right now."
What did he say?
Have to have a straw in your purse for the restaurants that won’t offer them!
Wow. You are blessed to have such amazing dad.
Oh my gosh that’s hilarious XD adding that to my book!
Dude this is just what it's like living with anxiety
"I want chocolate chip cookie dough!" 😂😂😂
“Why do I say yes to nine things every Saturday?” Because I am incapable of saying no when there’s even the slightest possibility I could make it work. Who needs sleep?
Uh I actually do the “the service wasn’t great but I’m still going to tip them like 22%” dang it, I’ve been called out.
😂 every time….
I’ve done the same just to be nice
I think sometimes being a “people pleaser” is better like when u come to a restaurant 5 mins or less before it closes, just leave them alone lol they have been working hard
2:29 Some variation of this convo happens every single time I go out and get the wrong or a bad dish.
“When I walk down the street I need *everybody* all! day! long! to like me sooo *MUCH* ” - John Mulaney
The over apologizing 💀💀💀 me too bro
😂 Me with my roommates:
I am so sorry for taking up any space in the kitchen! You guys have a lot more things that you deserve to store! Don’t worry, I will make sure you can’t tell I even live here by storing all of my food under my bed!
I’m so sorry, can I just store one thing in the fridge? I promise I will use it so quickly that you won’t even know it was there!
This is scary how accurate this is! Keep up the amazing work!
There is nothing wrong with people like this but this is still hilarious and accurate 😂
Hard disagree on the first part.
Living like this is the worst thing you could to yourself and others.
"There is nothing wrong with ppl like this" .... I disagree It sucks to have to have this personally. 🤷♀️ but everyone else loves you have that personality.
Definitely something wrong with acting like this. It's not healthy. Yet for lots it's deeply ingrained into their belief system to where even if you want to say no you automatically say yes. Guess you wouldn't know though if you've never had the issue.
This channel is great and this seems very realistic
i am a people pleaser and this video is SO accurate!! yes!!
it’s quite an exhausting life when you can’t ever say no.
This is the way my mom is. When she tells my father what she thinks of people he always asks if she really said that. When she did say something (which is very rare) he goes, “oh you whipped out Middle-Aged Jen”
My husband asks me this all the time and I'm like...well, no..well I say what he said!! 😄😄
this is literally me
bruhh same
Same
Yup
if you’re a people pleaser, and can never say no when people ask for favors, just remember that everything you say “yes” to is saying “no” to something else.
THIS CONTENT IS 🔥🔥🔥 THE ACCURACY & RELATABILITY IS OFF THE CHARTS 👏🏽 👏🏽 👏🏽
Yup, that's me! Even with food issues. I do whatever works best for other people countless times
I love seeing Jake content
I've been in that "sorry loop." 😆
This video was too real - great job guys!!
As a reformed people pleaser, I can say 💯 percent accurate! Love you guys!
This is spot on! You guys are so funny and relatable, your videos make me laugh every time, keep’em coming!
I feel guilty for crossing the street while cars are driving 😭😭😭😭 I so relate
This... hits way to close to home. Like... way to close.
* The waitress didn't smile at her *
My mom: no tip it is then.
This is me. I am a people pleaser but I will stand up for myself if someone pushes me too far or upsets me. It bothers me so much if someone doesn't like me, I do everything to make that person like me.
You didn't show enough of the intense anger we get after our niceness is taken advantage of.
Friend: "I didn't want to so I told them no."
Me: "You can do that??"
"Why do I say yes to nine things every Saturday"... In a lot of ways, this entire video is still me haha.
Yes, yes, yes there are so many people pleasers that are kicked around... I appreciate you 🤗
You guys had no right to come at me like that. 😂
I felt the "don't say sorry" part in my very soul
Oh my word! Kinda hit me in the heart... saying sorry for saying sorry.... 🤦🏼♀️ thanks y’all!
"I cannot apologise enough for being dead."😂😂😂
Feel like this is the guy that holds the door for someone when their 30 feet away…
My favorite line from "the Nanny" is that Fran was "going to a meeting of doormats without partners"
Coming up with a million things I would have said on the drive home is always me LOL
Same. 🤣😂😂
"It will be my life's mission to make him like me!" describes my life on so many levels :)
The accuracy of this video! Well done!
When he started to break down and malfunction, I felt that. 🤣🤣
I over apologize all the time! This video is me! 😂😭
I feel attacked 🤣🤣🤣🤣
It’s intersecting how there’s always that one person who tells their people pleaser friend to say “no”, and stand up for themself, but that person also just thrives off of the people pleaser.
Thank you so much for legit posting the story of my life!
I'm sorry that you experienced having to be like me for 4 whole minutes and 8 seconds XD
“I’m sorry I’m advance for everything” I have actually said this 😭
Loose acquaintances...LOL! I gotta use that. 🤣
The funeral video 😂😂😂 “Im sorry you had to take a Saturday to come to my funeral” 😂😂
Man! The best word I learned in life was “nnnnoooooooo” 💪🏾
Honestly we need more of these people in the world
another comment for the burrito fund. This channel is amazing... When's the Jean Shorts tour?
“Your life must be really hard”…..”it’s exhausting!” That part summed it all for me because yes….it’s exhausting 😩😩🤪😆
This was uploaded on my birthday and I recognize myself in EVERY single one of these scenarios 😅. I think this is a sign
Oh my word!! I may be a people pleaser.. lol! So spot on!
1:57 I can't believe this!!! RIP Jake...😔🙏
I had a friend like this once. I loved her and we got super close but the friendship didn't last. Half of our time hanging out was spent with her apologizing for absolutely nothing. She moved away but we had drifted apart by then.
This may be my favorite next to the air b n b and the c f a Jackson. Jackson. You guys are awesome.
i would be this guy with the second one with trey banging on a door
I'm not a people pleaser, but I definitely hate conflict and making waves. So definitely could relate to this
*Tombstone reads, "I'm sorry."*
Omg I used to be like this few years ago at my job 😜
Thanks goodness not anymore ...not this this extent 😁😁