1:17:25 Thanks for the mention Stephanie! I'm here for the replay! I hate missing the lives but my own "soft life" included walking 4 miles with my hubby this morning! This is such an imporant conversation and I appreciate you both so much. I love to empower women to be assertive and set those boundaries to get what they need! No one's coming to save you! It's up to you to advocate for yourself. That's why I help overwhelmed, overworked women go from performance to presence in their professional and personal lives by giving themselves permission to rest, to play, and to meet their own needs without apology. Give yourself the permission to make mistakes, to be valued, to be yourself, to have support! You are worthy of all of these things!
TickTokers do not know what "Soft Life" truly is. It's a difficulty-free, living easier, drama-free lifestyle. Not necessarily meaning luxury. They miss the entire point.
That’s literal delusion and damaging because you need adversity in life. You actually need some stress in life. This wood consists of dualities, yin and Yang. A good life is about balance not some fake BS proganda that’s superficial. Being born again isn’t always easy street and sipping drinks at brunch on a yatch.
I tried to say this and got so much heat 😂 luxury isn’t the be all, end all. “Soft life” is carefree, relaxation, time to rest and enjoy life, being taken care of, etc. A designer bag after grinding 14 hours in your business isn’t “soft life”😂
I was on my job for 25 years. I took a leave of absence due to family issues and enjoyed the freedom of not going to a 9-5. When my leave was up, I quit. No 2 weeks. Although I feel like I am struggling a little financially, I am mentally free. My husband and I travel all over the United States and hopefully will take some trips overseas soon. We no longer have a house but travel with an RV. We can go anywhere anytime. Loving this soft life.
Look at God YAH THE CREATOR!!! THISSSS is a confirmation... Because this is my dream and WHERE in headed. Nobody else around ME is seeing this as freedom.
I'm 54. If you want the soft life, you need to become debtfree. Then you can make moves from there. I'm in the medical field...busting my ass for decades. Now working per diem, and living my debtfree life. I take travel assignments and bust my ass for 13 weeks, then chill-mode. Make a plan, make a way, execute decisions. -Omonike
I agree with 💯. I quit my job last spring and this year I picked up a contract job for 2 months. I think I like it here. Work for a few months then chill , then repeat.
For many becoming debt free is impossible. Even working 24/7. If I can have the choice between living life and dying in debt or slaving and dying debt free, in choosing the former. I have no children btw so no one else will have to carry my burdens one I'm gone.
AMEN, the world would not be able to function because black women do the jobs that no else will do because we need the money and everyone depends on us! Black men especially would no longer be able to exploit our love and help! Finally I see it like this,black women would finally get man that loves them and shows it everyday, not just when he wants or needs something from you! AMEN!
Soft life is an internal transformation. It’s a spiritual connection with yourself and the Creator and not looking outside that for anything. It doesn’t equate to luxury to me. It’s truly a mindset ❤
Yes, i think you're the only one I've seen who has explained it this way. This is how i experience it, a spiritual connection, which does require choosing yourself over drama & negativity
BLACK WOMEN are harming themselves by over working, over spending, this is an important book: Confessions of a SLOT MACHINE QUEEN by (BW) Sandra Adell wrote about her gambling addiction. February 2010 I read her book when it was published, years ago...... Stay safe and healthy black women
Facts. This is a question that I hate when I’m out in public or on a date. Don’t ask me about what I do, ask me about who I am, what I enjoy, etc. I learned as a teenager that a job is not my identity.
Being a minimalist (in acquiring material items), but being a maximalist (self-care, functioning in purpose, fulfilling experiences, inspiring others/creating legacy) are elements in my soft life. Self-preservation and peace of mind...
I remember taking most of the days off during my 2 week notice. I went to get my check on the last day and they gave me an ultimatum to stay and work or get fired. I got my check and walked out. That company had me working muscles I didn't even know I had.
I quit my nursing job. I typed the resignation letter, returned all their equipment, badges, and hauled ass that same day. I just didn’t want to work that hard anymore.
You women are delusional, you need to be part of the aristocracy for this soft life bullshit. Life is hard period quit your job and get ready for the streets.
Amazing! I was overwhelmed, overworked & underpaid n a high-stress 6 figure job...It started w the death of my parents & morphed into dog/hm sitting! I'm 58 and thx bc now I've discovered I've been living the SL! My high-profile independent Alpha Mule female friends & sorority sisters don't understand my new self! Hahaha, I'm sharing this YT video! Thx ladies🙌🏽🌟❤️😜
When your parents become old and feeble, you can visit often and give them love and a smile….and at the same time have caretakers come in to provide some of the heavy lifting. It does not have to be a zero-sum game. Blessings to all. Thank you.
The problem with the caretaker is cost for many people. I'm older, and my parents are both gone, but the concept of a caretaker was foreign to them. But again, there were six children to help them. It still wasn't easy.
I agree, however some elderly don't like the idea of having a caretaker which can be frustrating. I suppose they don't trust strangers and would rather have their children do it. They have some great options but the cost is also tough.
I think soft life is your vision of The Soft Life. My vision is staying in sometimes doing absolutely nothing. Other times its going to an event that soothes my soul. I would like to do the luxurious side of that but I don't necessarily need it. I'm simple.
I agree, "luxury" and a soft life should be subjective, I think. It means something different to everyone. If it's about LV bags and lavish vacations, do you. BUT luxury can also be about having enough finances to visit places or do things with ease, even if the price tag isn't super high to do it. Social media can make a woman think that, without high ticket items and high ticket trips around the world, then we are not doing enough to achieve that type of "ideal" soft life. I like nice things and I also enjoy memorable experiences....even if the cost of the experience isn't high ticket. Soft life, for me, is moving about the world seeing and experiencing things, with minimal worry and stress. Sounds lovely.
Ooh the femininity drive has got me so pissed off that I had to comment! I had to unsubscribe from one mid-40s creator who extolled that she is going to never show interest in or ask any questions in the family finances because that calls her man's manliness into question. And I was like are you kidding me, after all the BS of not being able to own anything doubly for being black and as a woman we are now going advocate it? I manage our family investments and my husband is fine with that because I am more financially knowledgeable. Period. However I do try and get him involved with the decisions and the direction so he has some idea of what is going on. His masculinity is just fine.
Yes! No way I'm going to divest in my financial interest. I trust my husband to deal with finances, but I need to be in the know. I'm a trust but verify kind of person.
well said and nicely done women who manage the money! masculinity is not dependent on that part of a realtionship, and femininity is not dependent on willful ignorance which may lead the family to financial ruin. come on now! imitating rich white women is a massive fail. and beliece me, all white women are not living as well as some of us seem to think they are. Read Gloria Vanderbilt's biography, Poor Little Rich Girl. WEalth begins in the mind imho. What do we value? Time is money and shortening our lives by chasing and grinding this and that "thing" is not a soft life.
I am holding back tears right now I do appreciate this conversation from 2 women with Brown skin because where I come From no one no matter if you black Or Brown It's just dog-eat-dog these tips were very beneficial to me thank you
I disagree with using my job position as who I am. I am retired but I was never one to make a job title important. As I use to tell people at work your position is not important on the outside of the building we work in. The only person who’s job title means anything would be that if the President. Other than that most people wouldn’t care that you are the Director of a business…. When you retire from the business then what…. I want to know the real person and people seem soo afraid to be themselves….
i was hoping you would address the way the movement applauds weakness and crying. As a woman of a certain age i have seen what happens when women don’t claim their inner strength which can be done without being hard, emasculating or insensitive. Tons of women are going to wind up in mental institutions trying to be the “weak” “feminine “ stereotype that rejects taking care of yourself emotionally enough to embrace resilience and grit.
Someone close to me said to me “ I don’t see how you do it all” I responded that’s an insult because if you think I’m overloaded or overwhelmed with tasks help me.
Just sounds like the person is amazed or impressed with you. Most people don't make comments with the intention of being insulting. But it definitely is your choice if you choose to be insulted.
@@Liz-ic6jb The person told me that it was their way of complimenting me. I see where there is some adoration in that. Just because I can do a lot alone doesn’t mean I should have to. It was a clear reminder to them to pitch in and that “team work makes the dream work .”
Ivana's view on caring for her mother is so interesting to me. Caring for my Mom brings me so much joy! I wasn't my first life choice and requires a ton of sacrifice and work but it's so fulfilling!
That's my problem. A lot of these "soft life", "femininity" gurus are all about convincing women to fit into traditional patriarchy for the benefit of men. Everything they promote is about how do you make yourself look, sound, smell, act, like a male's vision of womanhood. They still deeply believe that women exist to serve men.
ADDITIONALLY, solo and no kids Ms Clara Bridges turned 102 years old recently in Atlanta Georgia. She has lived in the senior citizens facility for 47 years as a retired nurse and a military veteran. ... 5 🌟 stars to Ms Bridges
Hi! It's not vain to appreciate things that are aesthetically pleasing. It's just the affect beauty has on humans. Office buildings, hospitals, and staged homes are giving a certain aesthetic for a reason. We also don't feel guilt when we adorn our homes, so we shouldnt feel guilt for adorning our bodies. ❤
This is NOT a conversation about adornment. It’s just not. The narrative is way bigger than that. A plentiful number of enslaved women were adorned and sold. Still are! Fancies, they were called in the US and trafficked like so many exotic chickens. And still are, globally. This is NOT about adornment or an aesthetic.
@@jeanettesdaughter I am fully aware that the conversation was NOT about adornment, I was only commenting on ONE portion where Stephanie mentioned being or feeling vain because she notices and comments on a persons beauty when she see's them.... That's all.
I just love this, I’m resonate with this so much. Sometimes I take my little one to school and go back to sleep. I’m here in America now. I do love the finer things but I refuse to work hard for them anymore. I love the easy life.
NEXT MORNING 🌄, I just watched the video and thanks for sharing. Black women do need a $$$$ cushion, time and community to support them in taking this step. I have always loved my life from the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, up until now. I am an only child and I am selfish. I don't NOT caretake my parents, they had vast resources. I was traveling when they both DIED. MY mom encouraged me to live my life always. Stacey Abrams has a role to play on the world 🌎 stage, just like former Secretary of State Condolezza Rice. Yes to having a housekeeper. I own my womb. Plus I don't take on obligations, no cape here. Self care has been my priority since 73!!!!! I own my Santana Red Master massage table for years now...... ............... Relaxing in my huge colorful hammock swaying away outside this morning, sunny
1:32:47 YAS! Stephanie! I’m the same. A perfect day for me is waking up before the sun but we’ll rested, knowing that I don’t have to do anything but say hello to the sun.
Thank you so much for touching on these subjects because I am tired of being a worker bee in my job, relationships,friendships,and situations in general! Black women we deserve leisure,luxury,rest,reciprocity,and the best that life has to offer! Also you don't have to give people access to your life,house,resources secrets, personal business,and health! AMEN,Sista, you've just given me the permission to live my best life! AMEN,Sista!
I’m glad this is being talked about! I feel this femininity and soft life movement is trying to emulate traditional White American femininity. Black Women’s femininity is so much more diverse and intriguing🤎✨ (Slightly off from the topic at hand, but wanted to share my thoughts)
I disagree, we are all women. I am Nigerian and we get treated the way women are treated everywhere in the world. Of course class plays into it but women are women....period!
I disagree. Black women have almost always put less emphasis on their own needs vs others. It's time we learn to say stop or no or it's not what I want over the wishes of others.
I agree! Today’s social media version of feminity is very basic and shallow. There is more to being feminine than looking cute or being passive. Hence, I find the movement to be a joke and something I couldn’t take seriously.
@@Gullahbae-xm6msThe movement is especially a disastrous joke because femininity was never valued for many black women and girls growing up. Presenting as feminine meant being a target for mental, physical and sexual abuse. Now we're all of a sudden selling it because it's a BUZZWORD that people can GRIFT and make money and clicks off of. Black women and girls are still MISSING, TRAFFICKED, ASSAULTED AND MURDERED and it rarely gets talked about within this femininity grift. It's maddening.
i LUV this! yes black women are the epitome of BEAUTY💎i'm taking notes; i been watching these video sessions with all of these different women doing the damn thing, for a good while. I do bookkeeping at a company, so now I'm starting my own virtual business.. which has been slow in the making, but being privileged to being in these forums has spawned the realization in myself that I cannot continue being unhappy, doing things that are toxic in the name of 'being productive in the world of work'.. wish me success in my ❤unveiling me journey❤ i love US!
This infuriates me. The expectation on so many levels! It never became real for my parents. I left the state and was punished for doing so. To this day, my older brother is incapable of managing his affairs because they never set expectations for him. I have to keep strong boundaries because he has no problem freeloading on me as well as trying to rope me into all sorts of tasks he needs done. He’s good at not showing up at all for me. This is my parents fault.
00.23 a soft life is living a life of ease where you take the path of lease resistance and if you have to work you work smart not hard. Even when u are running a business you get extra help or u delegate to help u run the business so that is soft life.
@@Heyu7her3 indeed it is, however there are some people who also incorporate a luxury lifestyle ie taking regular trips abroad to what can be considered as being expensive. However for me I believe that living a soft life is not necessarily about paying for expensive trips or things to be able to live a soft life which is living a life of ease that mean being intentional about your life. Removing any thing that is or will cause a great deal of stress. Whether at home,work school or in your business. Everyone will have different ideas on what a luxury lifestyle is. A luxury lifestyle does not have to be expensive. Some could view being able to live near the beach in another country as a luxury lifestyle if they are living in a cold climate country. So a luxury lifestyle doesn’t mean that you’ll have to be grinding and working hard to have luxury. Luxury could mean being able to sleep on a quality mattress with soft bedding enabling you to have quality sleep. So you see luxury is subjective to each person. However the overall aim of living a softer life is removing all major stress or potential stress in your life to make your life easier. As I said previously in all areas of your life Taking the path of lease resistance. And that could be even in relationships u have with others ie if your relationship with someone is constantly a struggle then you would have minimal contact with that person that would bring about less stress and that would be considered u living a soft lifestyle. I hope that makes sense.
This was a great conversation but there was a few things not mentioned in this particular video. Many BW don’t necessarily act in the way of white supremacy. Not even sure why this was the catalyst in this video. I do definitely believe the BM are more of the oppressors of BW when using featurism, colorism , texturism against BM and little girls. They’re the ones who continue to perpetuate these ideals. They place the WW on higher standards in comparing to BW and little girls. BM don’t favor BW. Of course there’s definitely racism yes but does not fit every black person’s life. We definitely don’t as BW has WW privileges but we can make our own. We want luxury & beauty too. We just don’t have to move like non blank women. As a woman I like all women, however, BW need to be practice being vigilant and have boundaries & standards for themselves only.
Hello Lovely Ladies, I just wanted you to know just how freeing this video was for me to watch! I’m a 25 year old Black Woman, and prior to watching this, I honestly didn’t even realize how many arbitrary “rules” I’d bound myself with before watching you ladies exist in this world so freely and happily! Thank you for taking the time to do this! Not only was it entertaining, but this video alone has truly changed my life for the better. God bless you both! ❤️👸🏿
I find it a bit disappointing when the femininity of Black women is questioned or undermined. Black women, regardless of their skin tone or hair texture, have every right and ability to embrace and express their femininity. Whether it’s through fashion-like wearing frills and lace-or through their choice of hairstyle, such as goddess braids, dreads, a bold short cut, or natural tresses, femininity is for Black women too. Part of being a Black woman is feeling comfortable and confident in expressing your unique version of femininity. While beauty undeniably comes from within, there's absolutely nothing wrong with also showcasing your external expression of femininity in a way that feels authentic to you. ❤ Great discussion ❤
Let me start by saying you ladies are beautiful. You both have gorgeous skin and you look like you’re living your best life. I pray that you ladies stay in God’s perfect peace and love. ❤😊
Love this! I never put a name to the journey I have been on, but at 34, I made it clear to myself a few years ago that I am doing less and still being financially comfortable, and I have been living my life in the way I define that every day. It's already part of my personality, but for me, part of it was embarrassing "afrominimalism" and not worrying about climbing the corporate ladder.
I decided to go ahead and draw my Social Security at 64 1/2. I am so happy I did and I let my employer know starting 4/1/23 that I only want to work 20 hrs. a week. The only thing I hate is they took away almost $2 an hrs from me bec. I couldn't stay in my position, even though I can step in whenever they need me. In fact they needed me this past Fri. I hate how I gave my all to this company and now I feel unappreciated, but I will have less stress and with Social Security I will be making about the same, maybe a little more. Yes now I can live a " soft life " bec. only working twenty hrs is a lot less stress, I can get my house in order, travel more, rest more, exercise, ride my bike and walk more.
Not sure what a soft life is, yet life is EASY because life simply is, it is people who are rough with life. You are life. Be soft. Be easy. Breathe. ❤
This is one of the 1st RUclips/Podcast type videos that I listen to in its entirety. Thank you beautiful ladies for this information and just for being born🎉
so glad youre speaking on this. its all over the tumblr and its very ugly to me. its as though whomever is pushing this is actually denigrating black women, as tho we have not always been feminine (on our own terms!) as if deprivation and depravity were not forced on us and as if we have not always found ways to be elegant and beautiful and charming and kind. my matrilineal line never allowed me to think of myself as the mule of the world, as did so many black foremothers like zora, like anna julia cooper and like assata shakur for that matter. i just think that thing is racist and misogynoir. not looking for an amen: just saying, thanks, on my own terms. I love what you are doing tho. theres a difference between ease and expecting somebody to pick you!
I love love this conversation! It’s keeping me aware and grounded. I will be attending the retreat soon. I have a new job now as my old job was killing me slowly. However, if this job I’m in even raise my stress levels, I’m out of there. I promise. ❤😂🎉 I’m living a softer life but I want to get to a soft life. I salute both of you thank you for sharing this dialog. So important. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🙌🏿🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺👀
I just read the book 📚 I am Debra Lee: A Memoir, former CEO of BET. Debra divorced mother now regrets her affair with Bob Johnson at her workplace. She says she wrote the book for younger black women! My library purchased a copy so I got to read it for free. I took a nap after.......... From the Ozarks, Eze and unbothered age 70
🌺🌺🌺🌹🌹🌹 *Stephanie Perry this is just what needs to be spoken on* Thank you for this channel. And thank you for highlighting such a clouded topic. I never connected the soft life with excessive consumerism/luxury.
Great talk! Stephanie, can I recommend jogging as a nice, softer way to move? I'm 47 and a larger build but my body loves to jog at a slow, steady pace. It still releases lots of endorphins but is less strenuous than running.
Love this. I've always pretty much lived a soft life, but I got push back and criticized. Women in my generation usually have a steering wheel in their back, ready to be driven off a cliff
30:01. Agreed. Another piece of ease....for me, also means - you don't learn to unlove them. you learn to love yourself more. ~ vinati new sub here.enjoying this and learning to live a "soft life". 💜
As a physician, I am trying to figure out everyday how to obtain this softer lifestyle. I am slowly exiting from the hustle of bustle that has become Medicine these days. Goal to lower my debt (med school loans are a biachess) and hopefully maintain a decent lifestyle working 5-6 nights a month. I’m literally done!
@@jessikajane4967 Yes! Im doing all of that (except insurance). It’s been great but my main job is working as a hospitalist. I currently work only 8 nights a month and still trying to figure out a way to cut back a bit (maybe down to 6). We will see!! 😊
If being a loner was an Olympic sport. Im for sure gold medal, better yet a platinum medal. I’ve been side eyeing this ultra feminine, soft life narrative since it started. I’m the middle kid of 2 boys. I’ve never felt that I never had an option to opt out of anything dealing with the inner workings of our family. At a very young age I was keenly aware that I was the pusdeo husband/partner for my mom. A girl child rebelling (setting boundaries) is the ultimate slap in the face I feel to black parents.
@@ellewoods9396 Oh for sure! It took a mental breakdown and therapy to force me to opt out of many things. When you’re growing up with the programming that you don’t have an option. It can be a very big shattering of the reality created for you. Also going against the programming has literally some gotten girls/ women excluded from their families. I’m so glad it’s now being pushed back on.
Beloved Sister you and your guest are awesome. . 👍🏿B1 💃🏿 I appreciate your combined perspectives. I'm able to relate completely. I broke the traditional mode and code of conduct introduced thru assimilation. And supported through a patriarchal system of nonsense just to accommodate insincerity. Insincerity in terms of guilting the daughter into doing the heavy lifting. While men enjoy the benefits of women's contributions. Your content gives me Hope by showing that black women can pull together and without European approval. As well establishing what's ideal safe enriching and obtainable. 🤗🌹👏🏾🙋🏾♀️
So Ill just say this.. as I continue to prayfully research " soft life" meming and interpretation Im leaning more towards the spiritual, mental , emotional and physical wellness of it all. I can understand the luxury association but for me with limitations. Soft life definition for me continues to unfold.
There ARE a VARIETY of Black women : Mrs. Obama, Oprah, Black female doctor, Black nurse, Black office manager, Black female university student, etc. Why reduce Black women to specific cases ?
Yes! That annoys the hell out of me!!! Described by my work or my material accomplishments!!! Hell No! I don't buy into that superficial shallow simplistic identity!!!
I dont have the support. Everyone in my family is depending on me. I don’t even have church community. Unfortunately, work is a necessity. I’ve been homeless before. The soft life is easier said than done. Love the convo!
Sooo...I'm still listening but something is nagging at me...see, ultimately, one's ideal life is whatever works for you, be that a job that finances your dreams, a job that fulfils a personal calling, a job that you simply enjoy doing, no job at all or a business, whatever. I disagree with demonizing jobs and making people feel shame for continuing to work. And so, while I agree with the overall ideal of encouraging BW to improve their lives if they're unhappy, I have to side-eye the strong slant against jobs in these discussions. Some of us would be very unfulfilled and unhappy sitting at home without meaningful work. Also, a lot of "lifestyle gurus" promoting these messages overlook the fact that they too, in fact, perform work and have to do so in order to get by. Not to mention, what would society look like if everyone decides to become, I dunno, a business owner, a social media personality, a life coach or whatever else is trendy etc? Who would be the doctors and nurses to look after you when you're sick, the professors to educate your children, the architects of the homes you wish to live in, the pilots to fly you to your desired destinations, the restaurant chefs to cook the meals for you to post on instagram???? I just wish, for once, we would all stop trying to push OUR ideal life onto others, whether it's the so-called "soft, luxury" life or the "do little or nothing" life or the "hustle, girl boss" life or WHATEVER. It's low-key giving insecurity. Let people be happy with the life they've created even if it looks completely different from your ideal life and let's stop elevating one lifestyle over another.
A person sharing how they achieved their lifestyle with others who are interested is not "forcing" their beliefs on another. If the person watching doesn't agree then they can find a channel that differs from the one they're watching. Apparently, people are looking to achieve what SP has and would like to know how it was achieved. If you watch her videos she says, "if you're happy with your job and/or where you are in life keep living it". There is no force or push here. There are a 1000 you tube channels out their. We're bound to fine one that speaks to you. SP's channel may not be the one for you.
Soft Life is a term that started in the femininity sectors (and a lot of the religious women sectors) of RUclips. Naturally, women would discuss it more with other women; that's who the audience was far. You are a man, noone is stopping you from living your life how you want to.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682 I’m not a man I’m just telling a woman that said she tried to give her son a soft life and he doesn’t appreciate it. So I’m saying black males in general don’t even try to give black women a soft life. So black women look foolish providing for MEN that have never provided for them.
1:17:25 Thanks for the mention Stephanie! I'm here for the replay! I hate missing the lives but my own "soft life" included walking 4 miles with my hubby this morning! This is such an imporant conversation and I appreciate you both so much. I love to empower women to be assertive and set those boundaries to get what they need! No one's coming to save you! It's up to you to advocate for yourself. That's why I help overwhelmed, overworked women go from performance to presence in their professional and personal lives by giving themselves permission to rest, to play, and to meet their own needs without apology. Give yourself the permission to make mistakes, to be valued, to be yourself, to have support! You are worthy of all of these things!
TickTokers do not know what "Soft Life" truly is. It's a difficulty-free, living easier, drama-free lifestyle. Not necessarily meaning luxury. They miss the entire point.
That’s literal delusion and damaging because you need adversity in life. You actually need some stress in life. This wood consists of dualities, yin and Yang. A good life is about balance not some fake BS proganda that’s superficial. Being born again isn’t always easy street and sipping drinks at brunch on a yatch.
For some it involves luxury and that's ok too.
I tried to say this and got so much heat 😂 luxury isn’t the be all, end all. “Soft life” is carefree, relaxation, time to rest and enjoy life, being taken care of, etc. A designer bag after grinding 14 hours in your business isn’t “soft life”😂
@@ninagrace-lee8323 😂 Exactly
I was on my job for 25 years. I took a leave of absence due to family issues and enjoyed the freedom of not going to a 9-5. When my leave was up, I quit. No 2 weeks. Although I feel like I am struggling a little financially, I am mentally free. My husband and I travel all over the United States and hopefully will take some trips overseas soon. We no longer have a house but travel with an RV. We can go anywhere anytime. Loving this soft life.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
There is no need for financial difficulties. Take traveling assignments. 13-week assignments. They have this in my field as well.
So inspiring
Look at God YAH THE CREATOR!!! THISSSS is a confirmation... Because this is my dream and WHERE in headed. Nobody else around ME is seeing this as freedom.
That's what I'm talking about, Sis.🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I'm 54. If you want the soft life, you need to become debtfree. Then you can make moves from there.
I'm in the medical field...busting my ass for decades. Now working per diem, and living my debtfree life. I take travel assignments and bust my ass for 13 weeks, then chill-mode.
Make a plan, make a way, execute decisions.
-Omonike
I agree with 💯. I quit my job last spring and this year I picked up a contract job for 2 months. I think I like it here. Work for a few months then chill , then repeat.
Debt free is the key. Absolutely
For many becoming debt free is impossible. Even working 24/7. If I can have the choice between living life and dying in debt or slaving and dying debt free, in choosing the former. I have no children btw so no one else will have to carry my burdens one I'm gone.
@@Michelle.1952 agreed... and if things are set up a certain way, personal debt is written off
This is my goal.
Can you imagine the impact on the world if a huge amount of black women divested from Mule Life and lived the soft life?
Yes, actually I can!
@Have a little Faith And if they can't come together...
Oh well , too bad and oh so sad for their a$$e$!! 😂
Child they gone have to brace for the impact cause it’s coming.😃
AMEN, the world would not be able to function because black women do the jobs that no else will do because we need the money and everyone depends on us!
Black men especially would no longer be able to exploit our love and help!
Finally I see it like this,black women would finally get man that loves them and shows it everyday, not just when he wants or needs something from you!
AMEN!
AMEN!😭🙏💪🙂
Soft life is an internal transformation. It’s a spiritual connection with yourself and the Creator and not looking outside that for anything. It doesn’t equate to luxury to me. It’s truly a mindset ❤
Yes, i think you're the only one I've seen who has explained it this way. This is how i experience it, a spiritual connection, which does require choosing yourself over drama & negativity
BLACK WOMEN are harming themselves by over working, over spending, this is an important book: Confessions of a SLOT MACHINE QUEEN by (BW) Sandra Adell wrote about her gambling addiction. February 2010 I read her book when it was published, years ago...... Stay safe and healthy black women
" your job is not WHO you are.. It's simply what you do for a living."
Facts. This is a question that I hate when I’m out in public or on a date. Don’t ask me about what I do, ask me about who I am, what I enjoy, etc. I learned as a teenager that a job is not my identity.
@@GoogleAccount00love your comment so true don't like the what do you do question.
Being a minimalist (in acquiring material items), but being a maximalist (self-care, functioning in purpose, fulfilling experiences, inspiring others/creating legacy) are elements in my soft life. Self-preservation and peace of mind...
I remember taking most of the days off during my 2 week notice. I went to get my check on the last day and they gave me an ultimatum to stay and work or get fired. I got my check and walked out. That company had me working muscles I didn't even know I had.
In other words you told that company to ki$$ your entire arse.
Good for you
Black women are mules
Wow
You're too cute 🤭
So proud of you!!!
I quit my nursing job. I typed the resignation letter, returned all their equipment, badges, and hauled ass that same day. I just didn’t want to work that hard anymore.
I can’t wait to quit my bedside job. Nursing is GHETTO.
I love this for you.
Good for you!!
I did the same thing 2 days ago. I got a much better job, flexible hours and same hourly pay. I am starting my own business with my extra free time.
You women are delusional, you need to be part of the aristocracy for this soft life bullshit. Life is hard period quit your job and get ready for the streets.
People have made consumerism a life path.
Amazing! I was overwhelmed, overworked & underpaid n a high-stress 6 figure job...It started w the death of my parents & morphed into dog/hm sitting! I'm 58 and thx bc now I've discovered I've been living the SL! My high-profile independent Alpha Mule female friends & sorority sisters don't understand my new self! Hahaha, I'm sharing this YT video! Thx ladies🙌🏽🌟❤️😜
Not an alpha mule 😂😂😂
Underpaid & six figure job in the same sentence...😮😮😮
When your parents become old and feeble, you can visit often and give them love and a smile….and at the same time have caretakers come in to provide some of the heavy lifting. It does not have to be a zero-sum game. Blessings to all. Thank you.
The problem with the caretaker is cost for many people. I'm older, and my parents are both gone, but the concept of a caretaker was foreign to them. But again, there were six children to help them. It still wasn't easy.
I agree, however some elderly don't like the idea of having a caretaker which can be frustrating. I suppose they don't trust strangers and would rather have their children do it. They have some great options but the cost is also tough.
Soft life to me is stress-less life. (take it easy; enjoy the simple things) stop overextending.
💯
I think soft life is your vision of The Soft Life. My vision is staying in sometimes doing absolutely nothing. Other times its going to an event that soothes my soul. I would like to do the luxurious side of that but I don't necessarily need it. I'm simple.
I agree, "luxury" and a soft life should be subjective, I think. It means something different to everyone. If it's about LV bags and lavish vacations, do you. BUT luxury can also be about having enough finances to visit places or do things with ease, even if the price tag isn't super high to do it. Social media can make a woman think that, without high ticket items and high ticket trips around the world, then we are not doing enough to achieve that type of "ideal" soft life. I like nice things and I also enjoy memorable experiences....even if the cost of the experience isn't high ticket. Soft life, for me, is moving about the world seeing and experiencing things, with minimal worry and stress. Sounds lovely.
Ooh the femininity drive has got me so pissed off that I had to comment! I had to unsubscribe from one mid-40s creator who extolled that she is going to never show interest in or ask any questions in the family finances because that calls her man's manliness into question. And I was like are you kidding me, after all the BS of not being able to own anything doubly for being black and as a woman we are now going advocate it? I manage our family investments and my husband is fine with that because I am more financially knowledgeable. Period. However I do try and get him involved with the decisions and the direction so he has some idea of what is going on. His masculinity is just fine.
Yes! No way I'm going to divest in my financial interest. I trust my husband to deal with finances, but I need to be in the know. I'm a trust but verify kind of person.
well said and nicely done women who manage the money! masculinity is not dependent on that part of a realtionship, and femininity is not dependent on willful ignorance which may lead the family to financial ruin. come on now! imitating rich white women is a massive fail. and beliece me, all white women are not living as well as some of us seem to think they are. Read Gloria Vanderbilt's biography, Poor Little Rich Girl. WEalth begins in the mind imho. What do we value? Time is money and shortening our lives by chasing and grinding this and that "thing" is not a soft life.
I equate this new femininity movement with stupidity. These women will learn the hard way when they are single, poor and old,
God gave us each a brain for a reason 🤷🏾♀️
I’m going to need Ivana to hand over the skincare process
Her skin is beautiful and flawless.
Goals!
Please and thank you!!!
Ma'am! ✨✨✨
Right. Give me the goods 💆🏾
I am holding back tears right now I do appreciate this conversation from 2 women with Brown skin because where I come From no one no matter if you black Or Brown It's just dog-eat-dog these tips were very beneficial to me thank you
I disagree with using my job position as who I am. I am retired but I was never one to make a job title important. As I use to tell people at work your position is not important on the outside of the building we work in. The only person who’s job title means anything would be that if the President. Other than that most people wouldn’t care that you are the Director of a business…. When you retire from the business then what…. I want to know the real person and people seem soo afraid to be themselves….
So true
“I’m a serial job quitter” 🤣🤣🤣
Stephanie is too funny! 😂
😂😂😂 This is my new title: serial job quitter 🙌🏾
i was hoping you would address the way the movement applauds weakness and crying. As a woman of a certain age i have seen what happens when women don’t claim their inner strength which can be done without being hard, emasculating or insensitive. Tons of women are going to wind up in mental institutions trying to be the “weak” “feminine “ stereotype that rejects taking care of yourself emotionally enough to embrace resilience and grit.
Someone close to me said to me “ I don’t see how you do it all” I responded that’s an insult because if you think I’m overloaded or overwhelmed with tasks help me.
This is what I deal with daily. And I agree it's insulting.
Just sounds like the person is amazed or impressed with you. Most people don't make comments with the intention of being insulting. But it definitely is your choice if you choose to be insulted.
@@Liz-ic6jb The person told me that it was their way of complimenting me. I see where there is some adoration in that. Just because I can do a lot alone doesn’t mean I should have to. It was a clear reminder to them to pitch in and that “team work makes the dream work .”
And don't forget to ask for help if you need it. 😊
@@Liz-ic6jbyou sound just as negative as the person she’s talking about lol
Ivana's view on caring for her mother is so interesting to me. Caring for my Mom brings me so much joy! I wasn't my first life choice and requires a ton of sacrifice and work but it's so fulfilling!
Saying No Is Very Powerful ! And Helpful!
❤my concern is that soft life creators are saying that soft life comes from being a SAHM! Ain’t nothing soft about being a SAHM!
That's my problem. A lot of these "soft life", "femininity" gurus are all about convincing women to fit into traditional patriarchy for the benefit of men. Everything they promote is about how do you make yourself look, sound, smell, act, like a male's vision of womanhood. They still deeply believe that women exist to serve men.
ADDITIONALLY, solo and no kids Ms Clara Bridges turned 102 years old recently in Atlanta Georgia. She has lived in the senior citizens facility for 47 years as a retired nurse and a military veteran. ... 5 🌟 stars to Ms Bridges
🎉❤
Hi! It's not vain to appreciate things that are aesthetically pleasing. It's just the affect beauty has on humans. Office buildings, hospitals, and staged homes are giving a certain aesthetic for a reason. We also don't feel guilt when we adorn our homes, so we shouldnt feel guilt for adorning our bodies. ❤
This is NOT a conversation about adornment. It’s just not. The narrative is way bigger than that. A plentiful number of enslaved women were adorned and sold. Still are! Fancies, they were called in the US and trafficked like so many exotic chickens. And still are, globally. This is NOT about adornment or an aesthetic.
@@jeanettesdaughter I am fully aware that the conversation was NOT about adornment, I was only commenting on ONE portion where Stephanie mentioned being or feeling vain because she notices and comments on a persons beauty when she see's them.... That's all.
@@evemagg1250 okay. my bad.
True, that's normal.
@@evemagg1250I wish I could be more like you. You handled that response so gracefully.
I just love this, I’m resonate with this so much. Sometimes I take my little one to school and go back to sleep. I’m here in America now. I do love the finer things but I refuse to work hard for them anymore. I love the easy life.
NEXT MORNING 🌄, I just watched the video and thanks for sharing. Black women do need a $$$$ cushion, time and community to support them in taking this step. I have always loved my life from the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, up until now. I am an only child and I am selfish. I don't NOT caretake my parents, they had vast resources. I was traveling when they both DIED. MY mom encouraged me to live my life always. Stacey Abrams has a role to play on the world 🌎 stage, just like former Secretary of State Condolezza Rice. Yes to having a housekeeper. I own my womb. Plus I don't take on obligations, no cape here. Self care has been my priority since 73!!!!! I own my Santana Red Master massage table for years now...... ............... Relaxing in my huge colorful hammock swaying away outside this morning, sunny
💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿
1:32:47 YAS! Stephanie! I’m the same. A perfect day for me is waking up before the sun but we’ll rested, knowing that I don’t have to do anything but say hello to the sun.
Love this😊
Thank you so much for touching on these subjects because I am tired of being a worker bee in my job, relationships,friendships,and situations in general!
Black women we deserve leisure,luxury,rest,reciprocity,and the best that life has to offer!
Also you don't have to give people access to your life,house,resources secrets, personal business,and health!
AMEN,Sista, you've just given me the permission to live my best life!
AMEN,Sista!
"Introspection is hard to put on the internet." Girl, tell me about it.
I with you there! Being authentic is the opposite of clickbait and quick fixes which the internet rewards
I’m glad this is being talked about! I feel this femininity and soft life movement is trying to emulate traditional White American femininity. Black Women’s femininity is so much more diverse and intriguing🤎✨ (Slightly off from the topic at hand, but wanted to share my thoughts)
I disagree, we are all women. I am Nigerian and we get treated the way women are treated everywhere in the world. Of course class plays into it but women are women....period!
I disagree. Black women have almost always put less emphasis on their own needs vs others. It's time we learn to say stop or no or it's not what I want over the wishes of others.
@@trashtalker9753 True!
I agree! Today’s social media version of feminity is very basic and shallow. There is more to being feminine than looking cute or being passive. Hence, I find the movement to be a joke and something I couldn’t take seriously.
@@Gullahbae-xm6msThe movement is especially a disastrous joke because femininity was never valued for many black women and girls growing up. Presenting as feminine meant being a target for mental, physical and sexual abuse. Now we're all of a sudden selling it because it's a BUZZWORD that people can GRIFT and make money and clicks off of. Black women and girls are still MISSING, TRAFFICKED, ASSAULTED AND MURDERED and it rarely gets talked about within this femininity grift. It's maddening.
I believe in doing as little as possible!!! THIS alone is incredible. I have believed this so much in my life. Thank you.
i LUV this! yes black women are the epitome of BEAUTY💎i'm taking notes; i been watching these video sessions with all of these different women doing the damn thing, for a good while. I do bookkeeping at a company, so now I'm starting my own virtual business.. which has been slow in the making, but being privileged to being in these forums has spawned the realization in myself that I cannot continue being unhappy, doing things that are toxic in the name of 'being productive in the world of work'.. wish me success in my ❤unveiling me journey❤ i love US!
This infuriates me. The expectation on so many levels! It never became real for my parents. I left the state and was punished for doing so. To this day, my older brother is incapable of managing his affairs because they never set expectations for him. I have to keep strong boundaries because he has no problem freeloading on me as well as trying to rope me into all sorts of tasks he needs done. He’s good at not showing up at all for me. This is my parents fault.
Ditto. And I’m sorry 💔
This happens with a lot of the brothers in the family.
I'm honestly blessed beyond words, I'm gonna stop stressing and just live freely once I get back home to Jamaica to be with my family.
Ivana is an absolute natural for having her own RUclips channel. More people need to hear what she has to share.
00.23 a soft life is living a life of ease where you take the path of lease resistance and if you have to work you work smart not hard. Even when u are running a business you get extra help or u delegate to help u run the business so that is soft life.
Ok that's why I'm confused because isn't softness/ "ease" what this channel is about?
@@Heyu7her3 indeed it is, however there are some people who also incorporate a luxury lifestyle ie taking regular trips abroad to what can be considered as being expensive. However for me I believe that living a soft life is not necessarily about paying for expensive trips or things to be able to live a soft life which is living a life of ease that mean being intentional about your life. Removing any thing that is or will cause a great deal of stress. Whether at home,work school or in your business. Everyone will have different ideas on what a luxury lifestyle is. A luxury lifestyle does not have to be expensive. Some could view being able to live near the beach in another country as a luxury lifestyle if they are living in a cold climate country. So a luxury lifestyle doesn’t mean that you’ll have to be grinding and working hard to have luxury. Luxury could mean being able to sleep on a quality mattress with soft bedding enabling you to have quality sleep. So you see luxury is subjective to each person. However the overall aim of living a softer life is removing all major stress or potential stress in your life to make your life easier. As I said previously in all areas of your life Taking the path of lease resistance. And that could be even in relationships u have with others ie if your relationship with someone is constantly a struggle then you would have minimal contact with that person that would bring about less stress and that would be considered u living a soft lifestyle. I hope that makes sense.
@@Heyu7her3 same!
This was a great conversation but there was a few things not mentioned in this particular video. Many BW don’t necessarily act in the way of white supremacy. Not even sure why this was the catalyst in this video. I do definitely believe the BM are more of the oppressors of BW when using featurism, colorism , texturism against BM and little girls. They’re the ones who continue to perpetuate these ideals. They place the WW on higher standards in comparing to BW and little girls. BM don’t favor BW. Of course there’s definitely racism yes but does not fit every black person’s life. We definitely don’t as BW has WW privileges but we can make our own. We want luxury & beauty too. We just don’t have to move like non blank women. As a woman I like all women, however, BW need to be practice being vigilant and have boundaries & standards for themselves only.
Stay centered and do what makes you feel good, partner with like minded people 🌺
Great conversation! And both of you ladies are gorgeous!
Don’t be two weeks loyal to theses jobs because they fire people and never give them two weeks notice.
Hello Lovely Ladies,
I just wanted you to know just how freeing this video was for me to watch! I’m a 25 year old Black Woman, and prior to watching this, I honestly didn’t even realize how many arbitrary “rules” I’d bound myself with before watching you ladies exist in this world so freely and happily! Thank you for taking the time to do this! Not only was it entertaining, but this video alone has truly changed my life for the better.
God bless you both! ❤️👸🏿
I find it a bit disappointing when the femininity of Black women is questioned or undermined. Black women, regardless of their skin tone or hair texture, have every right and ability to embrace and express their femininity. Whether it’s through fashion-like wearing frills and lace-or through their choice of hairstyle, such as goddess braids, dreads, a bold short cut, or natural tresses, femininity is for Black women too.
Part of being a Black woman is feeling comfortable and confident in expressing your unique version of femininity. While beauty undeniably comes from within, there's absolutely nothing wrong with also showcasing your external expression of femininity in a way that feels authentic to you. ❤
Great discussion ❤
Let me start by saying you ladies are beautiful. You both have gorgeous skin and you look like you’re living your best life. I pray that you ladies stay in God’s perfect peace and love. ❤😊
I’m going to El Salvador next month & was concerned about safety. Thank for calming my fears about going solo.
Love this! I never put a name to the journey I have been on, but at 34, I made it clear to myself a few years ago that I am doing less and still being financially comfortable, and I have been living my life in the way I define that every day. It's already part of my personality, but for me, part of it was embarrassing "afrominimalism" and not worrying about climbing the corporate ladder.
I’m in the same boat! Same age and completely identify with everything you said
I decided to go ahead and draw my Social Security at 64 1/2. I am so happy I did and I let my employer know starting 4/1/23 that I only want to work 20 hrs. a week. The only thing I hate is they took away almost $2 an hrs from me bec. I couldn't stay in my position, even though I can step in whenever they need me. In fact they needed me this past Fri. I hate how I gave my all to this company and now I feel unappreciated, but I will have less stress and with Social Security I will be making about the same, maybe a little more. Yes now I can live a " soft life " bec. only working twenty hrs is a lot less stress, I can get my house in order, travel more, rest more, exercise, ride my bike and walk more.
Me too sis!! See my comment!
I'm with Ivana--7:00 is early! I'm a night owl too!
Ivana has the most beautiful skin! Another absolute beauty!
Ivana will ALWAYS be winning in my mind!
Not sure what a soft life is, yet life is EASY because life simply is, it is people who are rough with life. You are life. Be soft. Be easy. Breathe. ❤
In life you will have tribulation periodt
This is one of the 1st RUclips/Podcast type videos that I listen to in its entirety. Thank you beautiful ladies for this information and just for being born🎉
Love this! Peace of mind, relaxation, none toxic relationships. Live, support and live your best life’s!
That's how I feel about Phoenix. Coming here has given me so much peace and mental tranquility.
Agreed on the Stacey Abrams knowing how to play the game. 👏🏾
so glad youre speaking on this. its all over the tumblr and its very ugly to me. its as though whomever is pushing this is actually denigrating black women, as tho we have not always been feminine (on our own terms!) as if deprivation and depravity were not forced on us and as if we have not always found ways to be elegant and beautiful and charming and kind. my matrilineal line never allowed me to think of myself as the mule of the world, as did so many black foremothers like zora, like anna julia cooper and like assata shakur for that matter. i just think that thing is racist and misogynoir. not looking for an amen: just saying, thanks, on my own terms. I love what you are doing tho. theres a difference between ease and expecting somebody to pick you!
Beautiful and profoundly shared
Thank u! ❤❤💕
I love love this conversation! It’s keeping me aware and grounded. I will be attending the retreat soon. I have a new job now as my old job was killing me slowly. However, if this job I’m in even raise my stress levels, I’m out of there. I promise. ❤😂🎉 I’m living a softer life but I want to get to a soft life. I salute both of you thank you for sharing this dialog. So important. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🙌🏿🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺👀
I’ve definitely given an effective immediately notice. I had very good reason to do so!
I just read the book 📚 I am Debra Lee: A Memoir, former CEO of BET. Debra divorced mother now regrets her affair with Bob Johnson at her workplace. She says she wrote the book for younger black women! My library purchased a copy so I got to read it for free. I took a nap after.......... From the Ozarks, Eze and unbothered age 70
❤
Watching the live...y'all glowing ❤❤❤
Love seeing a millennial talk about this! I believe in the soft life but I don’t identify with buying things anymore.
Stephanie Perry is a mentor in/of many things !!! Lead me to the GOOD LIFE !!!
Thank you lovely ladies. Truly an amazing convo❤
All this is goals for me!! 😍I’m going to watch and learn!
🌺🌺🌺🌹🌹🌹
*Stephanie Perry this is just what needs to be spoken on*
Thank you for this channel. And thank you for highlighting such a clouded topic.
I never connected the soft life with excessive consumerism/luxury.
Great talk! Stephanie, can I recommend jogging as a nice, softer way to move? I'm 47 and a larger build but my body loves to jog at a slow, steady pace. It still releases lots of endorphins but is less strenuous than running.
Love this. I've always pretty much lived a soft life, but I got push back and criticized. Women in my generation usually have a steering wheel in their back, ready to be driven off a cliff
✨Regarding Beauty, Life is Art and Art is Life✨🙏🏿✨
I love Stephanie's laughter! Great interview. I got some jewels. ❤
@AuntieLu I fired myself as the eldest girl/child as well. No w I am firing myself as the GO-TO FRIEND!
I am enjoying this conversation so much, a year late but still got so much out of this discussion. 🙏💙
30:01. Agreed. Another piece of ease....for me, also means - you don't learn to unlove them. you learn to love yourself more. ~ vinati
new sub here.enjoying this and learning to live a "soft life". 💜
Ivana you are beautiful
That Eldest Child Muling is real,... 2023 was my emancipation from the manipulation and disrespect too 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
As a physician, I am trying to figure out everyday how to obtain this softer lifestyle. I am slowly exiting from the hustle of bustle that has become Medicine these days. Goal to lower my debt (med school loans are a biachess) and hopefully maintain a decent lifestyle working 5-6 nights a month. I’m literally done!
Just a random thought - maybe telehealth, virtual consultant, and insurance opportunities would be ideal for a physician.
@@jessikajane4967 Yes! Im doing all of that (except insurance). It’s been great but my main job is working as a hospitalist. I currently work only 8 nights a month and still trying to figure out a way to cut back a bit (maybe down to 6). We will see!! 😊
If being a loner was an Olympic sport. Im for sure gold medal, better yet a platinum medal. I’ve been side eyeing this ultra feminine, soft life narrative since it started.
I’m the middle kid of 2 boys. I’ve never felt that I never had an option to opt out of anything dealing with the inner workings of our family. At a very young age I was keenly aware that I was the pusdeo husband/partner for my mom. A girl child rebelling (setting boundaries) is the ultimate slap in the face I feel to black parents.
You always have a choice. You made a choice to play that role. You can choose to stop at any time.
@@ellewoods9396 Oh for sure! It took a mental breakdown and therapy to force me to opt out of many things. When you’re growing up with the programming that you don’t have an option. It can be a very big shattering of the reality created for you. Also going against the programming has literally some gotten girls/ women excluded from their families. I’m so glad it’s now being pushed back on.
Beloved Sister you and your guest are awesome. . 👍🏿B1 💃🏿
I appreciate your combined perspectives. I'm able to relate completely. I broke the traditional mode and code of conduct introduced thru assimilation. And supported through a patriarchal system of nonsense just to accommodate insincerity. Insincerity in terms of guilting the daughter into doing the heavy lifting. While men enjoy the benefits of women's contributions.
Your content gives me Hope by showing that black women can pull together and without European approval. As well establishing what's ideal safe enriching and obtainable. 🤗🌹👏🏾🙋🏾♀️
So Ill just say this.. as I continue to prayfully research " soft life" meming and interpretation Im leaning more towards the spiritual, mental , emotional and physical wellness of it all. I can understand the luxury association but for me with limitations. Soft life definition for me continues to unfold.
There ARE a VARIETY of Black women : Mrs. Obama, Oprah, Black female doctor, Black nurse, Black office manager, Black female university student, etc.
Why reduce Black women to specific cases ?
I no longer subscribe to the strong black woman mentality. I subscribe and speak out about us living the “soft life”!
That's soooo cool that Wendy looked out for you!
Thank you ladies! Great conversation. It was truly a Blessing for me!❤🙏🏼
A nice hot bubble bath is the soft life! Lol
Yes! That annoys the hell out of me!!! Described by my work or my material accomplishments!!!
Hell No! I don't buy into that superficial shallow simplistic identity!!!
I dont have the support. Everyone in my family is depending on me. I don’t even have church community. Unfortunately, work is a necessity. I’ve been homeless before. The soft life is easier said than done. Love the convo!
I'm not a purse person but I saw a red patent leather Louis Vuitton the other day that was NICE and would go very well with brown skin😂
Thank you for this discussion. ❤
I think bring with a man exclusively for the soft life is not recommended but if love is true then I think it's okay to be in a receptive mode.
Sooo...I'm still listening but something is nagging at me...see, ultimately, one's ideal life is whatever works for you, be that a job that finances your dreams, a job that fulfils a personal calling, a job that you simply enjoy doing, no job at all or a business, whatever. I disagree with demonizing jobs and making people feel shame for continuing to work. And so, while I agree with the overall ideal of encouraging BW to improve their lives if they're unhappy, I have to side-eye the strong slant against jobs in these discussions. Some of us would be very unfulfilled and unhappy sitting at home without meaningful work. Also, a lot of "lifestyle gurus" promoting these messages overlook the fact that they too, in fact, perform work and have to do so in order to get by. Not to mention, what would society look like if everyone decides to become, I dunno, a business owner, a social media personality, a life coach or whatever else is trendy etc? Who would be the doctors and nurses to look after you when you're sick, the professors to educate your children, the architects of the homes you wish to live in, the pilots to fly you to your desired destinations, the restaurant chefs to cook the meals for you to post on instagram???? I just wish, for once, we would all stop trying to push OUR ideal life onto others, whether it's the so-called "soft, luxury" life or the "do little or nothing" life or the "hustle, girl boss" life or WHATEVER. It's low-key giving insecurity. Let people be happy with the life they've created even if it looks completely different from your ideal life and let's stop elevating one lifestyle over another.
A person sharing how they achieved their lifestyle with others who are interested is not "forcing" their beliefs on another. If the person watching doesn't agree then they can find a channel that differs from the one they're watching. Apparently, people are looking to achieve what SP has and would like to know how it was achieved. If you watch her videos she says, "if you're happy with your job and/or where you are in life keep living it". There is no force or push here. There are a 1000 you tube channels out their. We're bound to fine one that speaks to you. SP's channel may not be the one for you.
@Shunna M. You don’t create soft life for black men they’ve made life so hard for us and don’t try to give us a soft life
Dealing with them is a guarantee for a hard life 😂😂😂
Soft Life is a term that started in the femininity sectors (and a lot of the religious women sectors) of RUclips. Naturally, women would discuss it more with other women; that's who the audience was far. You are a man, noone is stopping you from living your life how you want to.
@@doll.ov.poetrii4682 I’m not a man I’m just telling a woman that said she tried to give her son a soft life and he doesn’t appreciate it. So I’m saying black males in general don’t even try to give black women a soft life. So black women look foolish providing for MEN that have never provided for them.
Good morning! First time here and excited!!!!
Welcome Donna! 💗
19:00 Beauty tips. Ease in n out. A lot of Genetics. Little work. Sunscreen. Mexican Rx grade Retinol/Vit A. Wash off the day off my face at night. ❤😊
Thanks .
This was a new topic for me.
It’s realistic to embrace the natural self.
Gorgeous women, both!!❤❤
Absolutely loved this conversation- thanks 😊
Right right right right like right.
Love you!!!! Just beautiful❤️♥️💕👑👑👑🧚🏽♂️🧚🏽♂️🧚🏽♂️
Great conversation 🥰