Ich sehe manchmal ein Kollege von mein Freund am Bahnhof. Er fragt dann immer: "Alles gut bei dir?" Und wirklich jedesmal denke ich: "mmm bin ich sichtbar depressiv?? Warum fragt er das??" Ich sagt dann nur: "ja, danke und bei dir?" (Witzigerweise ist er Deutscher und ich Ausländer...hehe)
And all of this misfortune happened to me on a Sunday of all days. Ich bin Leibe shon Germania.😁This transmission was sent from Reno-Lake Tahoe Mount Rose ,NV Thursday morning 9.11am 3.6.21
This is my neighbor while I lived in Bavaria. He once answered me for 32 minutes in front of the entrance. I measured the time on my cell phone. I learned the whole history of Germany and mankind that day. I learned why BMW sucks, why China is getting stronger. Why green parties in Germany are getting stronger. Why Elon Musk is coming to Berlin, not Munich...although my German was at B1 level in that moment and he knew I didn’t understand him completely. The guy was actually from Berlin, retired.
As a German, I almost never ask anyone how they are doing. And when I ask, I actually expect a detailed status report. In France I obverved several times how two French guys walk past each other both saying "ca va" = How is ist? without even stopping. They just continued walking without waiting for an answer. It is used like saying Hi to someone, which really confused me a lot.
Same is in my country. That's why when I came to Germany and would ask Germans or other nationalities how are you (it's like a greeting, just a "Well" is expected ) they would be confused and I also because they wouldn't respond at all 🤣
I've been to Finland for just a day and can confirm that. Although they were a bit right as I was a bit drunk, I am a bit insane and I'm kind of American (south american though), so not that wrong.
omg damon dominique! I know it's bad manners to ambush ppl 'in public' outside of their work (even if on the internet) : D but I just wanted to say thanks for doing your thing. it's really really great and you're quite the inspiration. j'espere que tout va bien avec vous ces jours!
@@nickshahpari7346 spain its not like france france its not like germany germany its nothing like Italy Italy its nothing like Austria austria its noting like poland poland its nothing like the Netherlands lol Dud go travel more i bet you think that the USA floats in a flat Platte below it you have tacos and somewhere else in the dome near the moon hologram there is vodka lol
@@lolalina_ , doesn't sound like a relationship, sounds more like a job. If you're going to abandon multiple relationships, doesn't that sound like a need to review one's interpersonal relationship abilities? It makes the next person wonder the sort of people you've been attracting in the past, and reconsider why they should be with someone whose common denominator is 'leaving relationships when they're not working out else it might become toxic and abusive'. Speaking of jobs, I don't think any recruiter/employer prefers hiring a person who has jumped multiple jobs and spoke negatively about their previous employer. Thanks for sharing your perspective though.
I like it when people are honest and talk whats actually going on with them instead of the bullshit "fine and you ?". I like to hear people's day and cheer them up if they are feeling down.
You're a rare breed, most people actually don't care and are just being "polite" when asking that question and expecting to be answered "Fine, and you ?" 😮
@@goldflo91 Maybe I'm weird or too caring not sure but I like hearing people being honest with their situation so they can let some of their problems of their chest and if I have issues I can tell them without issues. If they are actually good well then I'd be happy about it but most people just whine about how bad their lives are and when you ask how they are they'll like "I'm diddly dandy and you ?".
Then you should stay the hell away from Australia. U.S. President Harry Truman once said that if you want a friend in Washington, get yourself a dog. If President Truman had lived in Australia, he would have said get yourself a pack of dogs.
@@Biscuit754 It's a casual greeting in the USA. You can answer "fine, how are you?" and the person may say something similar back. It is not expected to be a conversation. It's literally just a way of saying "hello." People sometimes will use it to start a conversation which is also ok and some people really like talking to strangers this way when they go places to get a feel of who is around them. But it is in no way meant to be an obligation to talk. There's a history behind it but it's culturally nuanced. Long story short, when you live in a melting pot with lots of immigrants and group tensions, you try to be as friendly as possible with strangers to ease the atmosphere. Even when saying a simple hello. Good in this greeting basically means "We're good," as in "Hi, I don't want any problems so let's agree that we both want to be create a good atmosphere by being nice while we both go about our day."
@@my2cents49 For "us" the one asking is still "the weirdo" because "we" wouldn't want to have to lie or talk to strangers in general. I don't want to speak for everyone but I think this is the general direction in Germany 😂 Different cultures are funny :D
Asking a German: how are you? What the German hears: list your latest medical report and strokes of faith with a pinch of „politicians just do what they want“
American here: I WISH more people responded like this. I genuinely want to know about you, even as a complete stranger. I hate small talk and fake pleasantries so if someone started telling me their entire story for the past few months of their life, I would be over the moon, stop everything I'm doing, and listen.
Ah, the classic Introvert's Curse: actually wanting to listen deeply to someone else. Best of luck. It is possible America is not the best place to look for this.
It's the same in England. How are you? Is basically just a greeting, it comes after 'hi' or hello and the correct answer is "Fine thanks and you?". Even if you're secretly feeling depressed and suicidal you still have to say you're fine or very well. To answer anything else would instantly make the situation turn awkward. I hate it too. I really wish when people asked that question, they would care enough to actually want to hear the true answer. Sometimes people do but its generally only if you already know each other really well and are close friends. Its the same as putting on a cheerful happy face to make the people around you feel good, even if the truth is you're really struggling. It's kind of an unspoken societal expectation. I thought this was just an English thing.
Because in America it often just means hello. The context and whether they keep walking should tell you that it's just a Hello. Other times, it actually is a question.
My dad was Mexican and maybe that's where I got it! I live in the Midwest US where we say "How's it going?" as a greeting that doesn't expect an answer. But I'll go off about how my allergies are, how I'm mad at someone, etc, and I love when people do the same. Like give me the tea.
@@mary.b.93 haha that sounds fun. Here in brazil people ask how youre doing but they dont really care. Btw your hair looks awesome haha greetings from brazil
I love how you guys be talking about speaking with strangers and here in my whole Chilean life I've never seen two people even look at each other on the street
When I (german) first moved to the UK, I was perpetually amazed by how interested people were in my life (even strangers!). Being British, they were much too polite to stop me once I started responding to the question. It took several weeks before a colleague found the courage to tell me 'actually, that's just a way of saying 'hello''
I love everything about this situation: - the german actually answering the question in detailed manner - the british not interrupting out of sheer politeness
Growing up in America, I never understood why people asked everyone how they were doing when no one was sincere about it. Now, I live in Germany, I never ask people how they are unless it's a friend or family member that I want to communicate with. I really like the straight forward way of life in Germany.
This bothered me so much when I spent 3 months in the US. I never could figure out whether people actually asked or if this was the local hello. I'd make great efforts to avoid the question and yet be polite.
As an American, this is so accurate for us. We literally ask everyone how they’re doing but get super uncomfortable if someone ACTUALLY answers the question 🤣🤣🤣
@@tomastesar2318 that is a greeting for us. Usually the person asking will comfortably accept a short, but honest answer, like “I’m just okay” or “I’ve been better” but they don’t want details, because that can be seen as over sharing unless you’re close enough to warrant details. It’s just seen as rude to share or ask for details most of the time.
Yeah it is rare to give details here too, but asking someone how are you here is like saying: "part of your bullshit is now my bullshit. It is up to you how much of it, I might not ask again". But it is very rare to pass on too much of it, unless you are desperate.
“You didn’t even care how I am, did you? Asshole!!” I empathize with the German in this case ☺️. Coming to America from Germany was quite a culture shock for me, especially hearing the phrase “how are you?” and later coming to realize it was more of a greeting rather than a genuine display of care. In all honesty I prefer “how are you?” to be used only out of genuine care. Otherwise, don’t ask me how I am. I tire of quick responses - “I’m fine”, or “I’m good” because I realize life is complex… and I value talking about its intricacies… even with a stranger. So yeah, I FEEL YOU GERMAN ☺️ What are your thoughts on this? I realize other people may have different perspectives than mine and I am open to hearing about them 😊 Thank you for your “thyme” 😉
As an American, I think it's a little bit more nuanced than this. When someone asks "how are you?" they probably do care, at least a little, so an honest response is perfectly acceptable (in most circumstances). However, don't let that fool you into giving an entire dossier. Responses like "I've been better" or "not too well" are just as acceptable as "fine." I'd expect to give or receive an honest response to the question, but the response should be very brief. If the person really wants more detail, they can ask follow-up questions.
I tired of the standard verbal handshake (hi, how...fine, how...) a long time ago, so I started experimenting with different answers. I had fun with "it's a long story" for a while...you can do all sorts of emphasis, make people laugh and sometimes people ask about it.
How are you does not require serious answer. In Croatia and as I see by your name that you are probably from Bosnia, and the rest of Balkans its normal to ask how are you in form: kako si, kako je, jesi mi dobar...etc. Asking a stranger in Balkans: how are you would result in person not responding, asking do I know you or just replying...fine.
I'm American and this confuses me too. Why do we need a thousand ways to say hello to people we don't care about? I wish questions like this were genuine in our culture.
Depending on what part of America you're in it is very genuine. Where I'm from (south) somebody says "how are you we probably won't give a super detailed report but it's always genuine. We don't just say "good" It's always "I'm doing pretty alright. Just got off work. Gotta pick the kids up and take them to soccer practice." Or if it's a bad day I hear a lot of "honestly not great." And then you will say "oh no? What's wrong? If I can ask." And then they will tell you. So it's a bit.kore involved I suppose but it's still genuine
I wish people did this in America. I hate asking how people are and just getting “good, and you?”. I expect a real answer when I ask how someone’s doing
@Tina Warner congraduations! Also, it's okay to not have to make everything go perfectly and to just be in the moment. It took me a while but I eventually realised that I wasn't on this earth to entertain people and make their lives easier and that people could also take care of themselves and of figuring out what they wanted and communicating it. It is okay to just take space. You don't have to be obligated to feel like someone's parent and to make sure everything goes perfectly for them etc. It sounds like you are looking forward to starting a new life and I'm happy for you. Sorry things didn't work out with your friend but not all friendships last, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Ending something that wasn't right for you rather than trying to force it to last is mature and involves awareness of your own boundaries. I wish more people would realise this about divorce and also that breaking up with friends would be more normalised - friendship shouldn't be seen as a secondary concern, or as less important in society than romantic relationships. They also require boundaries and self-awareness. You can learn from them and have them last for a time without lasting forever. People change and changing for the better is healthy. It makes logical sense that something that seemed to work for us before may not work now even with relationships.
Most Americans can easily differentiate between using that phrase as a simple greeting, and someone really expecting an in-depth answer. You would have to be lacking basic social skills to not know the difference.
As a Mexican 🇲🇽 it's normal to talk about your whole life with a person you just have met at the market XD Yeah, it sounds strange but it is not, sometimes we all need to share about ourselves and listen to each other.
Sí, pero nunca es después de un “¿Cómo estás?” usualmente esa frase también es únicamente saludo. Las pláticas de camión empiezan porque alguien te preguntó dónde debe bajarse, o algo así, y ya te cuenta toda su vida.
@@rocioleal6546 jajaja es cierto. No es como de que apenas se vieron a los ojos y ya le cuentas de tu vida. Cómo tú dices, cuando sacas plática y un tema lleva al otro y así jajaj XD
British dude at a Workcamp asked me "Hey, how are you?" each morning. Took me two weeks to realize that it was a fucking greeting, not a genuine question😅 So... Yeah, the vid is a good representation of how that went😂
I mean it when I ask but if it's not "good" it should just be a quick response like "not so good I failed my test but oh well 🤷 you ? " It's a conversation not a therapy session lol
@Kaelan It depends on the dialect of the British person -- where I'm from, "'Ey up" ("What's up"), "'Ow do" ("How do you do"), and "'Oreyt" ("Alright?") are just greetings for strangers.
*As I said in another reply:* It's just s greeting, like _"Was geht?)_ with young people in Germany. You just answer _"Was geht!"_ too. With _"How are you?",_ you can just answer _"Fine, thank you!"_ and then go on with how you actually are and what's going on!
@@cloudofw3313 It's sad because "how are you?" is a question first and only considered a friendly greeting in certain cultures. Tjen again, there are things like this in every culture and every language. Humans are simply awkward creatures once you place them in any unfamiliar situation.
As a german myself I can confirm: This is so true! We literally *never* ask random people „How are you?“ If we truly ask that somebody we (at least I) really expect an answer like that. 😂😂
@@192titan Yes something as simple as that. Hello or hi. But mostly you don’t even greet unless it’s a person we know. I know we germans can be weird but usually we don’t greet people that often except when you live outside the city. There it’s way more common to do that than in the city’s.
This is precisely the way this question works like in poland as well. Maybe this is why German males get along so well with Polish ladies? I imagine the same random conversation social rules must be a good ice-breaker in this sense. American way of asking this question with a complete disrgeard for an honest reply have always seemed odd to me, even though I have been immersed in British culture early on. Seems to me that Brits do not overuse asking it if they do not care for a reply.
@@nitink.a567 in reality though it probaply is followed by a "was muss das muss" (it is how it is)/ geht so (somehow alright) or a sorry but do i know you?
Polish person here, I confirm hahah when I ask someone how they are doing I expect them to tell me all the good and bad news :D My response to my non-Polish friends texting "how are you?" Is always a freaking essay!
With my friends (I'm from the Netherlands) it usually goes like this: "How are you?" "Yeah I'm fine, and you?" "Yeah I'm okay!" And then 30 minutes in you both ask the question again (but more serious) and then you get a real answer
The trick is Americans use "You all right?" as a real question, and "How are you?" as a greeting. In Britain it's usually the opposite. In other places, you gotta learn the local phrase.
And sometimes, there is no difference so you hear friends ask each other the same question twice in a row and once get a perfunctory "Fine" and the next get a real discussion.
Australian here. People started asking this as a greeting in the early 80's as an alternative to the Aussie g'day. I'm more used to it now but I remember feeling offended in supermarket checkouts to be asked how I was by a cashier who clearly wasn't interested. It made me feel irritated and depressed, when I would have been perfectly happy just to buy my stuff with a polite thankyou and move on. Or have a cheerful exchange if the cashier really felt like talking (as opposed to being told what to say to customers by Americanised corporate training).
In Poland we find asking strangers ,,how are you" as question towards someone who you really care about. After such question you can expect 1h answer and if you will not listen till the end you will change your mate into enemy
Stop asking this question if you don't want to hear the answer! Not only Germans react like that, but most of the world! And it's normal. Asking questions you don't want to hear the answers to is abnormal!
I wouldn’t say “most of the world”, but I guess it really depends in the country. Where I live it’s kinda just polite to ask that, you don’t really expect a sincere answer and you don’t have to feel pressured to open your heart to someone you don’t know enough for telling that kind of stuff. But well, like I was used to just hearing a “fine” like answer that reaction of the german guy really shocked me.
Same in Russia, never ask a "how are you" question if you don't have time to listen :D When I started working with foreign people I was so confused with this greeting, like why would you ask that if don't want to hear an answer?! Just say "hi" or something?? I literally thought it was form of passive agressive trolling and was having a hard time understanding that it's just a polite thing.
This could have been added anywhere, but here it is. In 1975, on a visit from my native NY back to London, I gave full reports when asked by a good English friend how I was. He finally said, "Most people answer "Fine," and leave it at that. But you...." I was shocked, and not a little hurt. And it seems, I haven't forgotten. Lol.
In real life sometimes when people just start to tell such deep stuff to people which they not really know well. Then they where probably waiting a long time to get this hot air out somewhere. Then the listener is just in an little uncomfortable but for the person needed position to help a little with listening.
@@BavarianHobbit as one of my Russian friends who rejected Germany as a country of professional migration (chose Canada eventually) said - "no way I will go to Germany, they are same as Russians but more sober")
1. Us/Uk: "it is just a greeting, dont reply to it!". 2. German/Slavs: "You are not my friend, dont ask it!" 3. Latins "You know, ill tell you about my life even if you dont ask for!"
It's like the people in this comment section were born yesterday and don't understand that people in different areas of the world have different cultures.
As a Latin myself, when someone ask me that question I only respond "Fine and you?" And then an awkward silence comes. (Also I know people that tell you all their lives but is not that common)
in Azerbaijan the conversation has its literally coded structure like: -Hello, how are you? +Hi, Good, what about you? -Good, thanks Thats it. Last week, I was in a rush and told my friend, "hello, how u doing?" and he answered "hello, how u doin" and we could not continue the conversation because we were confused that it was not the right order, or what happened? As I said, this conversation is coded:D
It's just a cultural thing, in English speaking countries like the US and Canada we say, "How's it going?" or something along those lines as a polite "Hello". It should go, "How's it going?" "Not too bad, yourself?" "Good, thanks" That's it. Even if youre not good you say, "good, thanks"
Don't ask or say anything unless you mean it. It's the same with these "fake invitations" that Americans are used to. If you say "hey you should come over some day" I go check my calendar.
I'm half German my blood. And when people ask me how I'm doing, my instincts tell me to be honest like this. I suppress that urge, and die a little inside when I say the expected: "I'm fine!"
That how it do be in West and North Germany, in the north they even have 2 ways of saying hello one for if you don t wanna talk and just acknowledge the other ones presence the other one for if you wanna have a chat
Better rule: If this isn't a standard cultural greeting where you currently are and you don't want to know, don't ask In some places it's just a standard greeting that everyone recognizes and responds to with "Good, you?" as a greeting. "Hey, how are you?" "Good, you?" "I'm good" then you waddle away... till the very next day- If you're out traveling in a foreign country, probably best to not ask if you don't want to know
Have to partially disagree.Yes, the other person might not truly want to know how your life is going and what has happened to you last week. Yet, for some people it can really help to have such a simple question at hand to start a conversation. Especially for introverted people, having the question "how are you?" can be extremely helpful as an easy way to make contact with other people. This can be a useful question when at a party or a conference. Sometimes, we just need a conversation starter. At these moments, don't take the question too seriously :-)
It's not weird, I would actually enjoy small conversations like this with people. And I'm not German and we don't have this in our culture but I appreciate this
@@cyrusdrawsstuff8916 oh so you asked random germans how they are? :D I feel a bit sorry for them. But probably once the conversation got going it was really nice!
Lol this happened with me when I stepped in Europe first time . I asked a colleague casually "How are you" and i ended up knowing his entire family problems including his cat . Spent 10 minutes listening to him . I learned my lesson 😄
@@gus2116 We focus on everything but WW2 is pretty much the last thing because it's not that long ago so it has to come at last. I also had the topics about wars in America, India Pakistan, Japan China, Australia ect. And bedsides that, not everything is about war in history class.
Wir erwarten nur ein kurz beschreibung von hochestins 10 worte....I'm good, Im bad I have a cold, terrible my pet hamster died....Das wars! aber meistins sag einfah gut, auch wenn es nicht so ist weil es ist nicht wirklich eine frage. und wenn, dann nur ein kutz antwort ist erwartet
@@lynnsintention5722 Aber warum?😅 Dann habe ich 10 Wörter lang darüber geredet wie es mir geht, aber was bringt das Ganze wenn es das Gegenüber so oder so nicht interessiert?
I need to move to Germany in this case because when I bother asking people “how are you?” I actually want an honest answer, I don’t care for the usual lies we tell each other.
Well you'd really love it here then. Usually it's not that detailed or long but we actually try to give an honest reply with a bit of information. But it's actually like this when you are close to the person lmao.
I'm meanwhile so annoyed that everyone always tells me their whole life story, that when someone asks me how I am, I just say I'm good and don't ask him how he is
That would be an interesting map of the world: countries split between those where How are you requires an answer and those where it's a greeting. I think most of Europe excepting UK, Ireland (maybe ca va in France) is in the first category
unfortunately, in Italy it's like a greeting ... I find it totally absurd asking someone how things are going and not being interested in a sincere answer - you don't care? simply don't ask!
Nah only in germany and slavic countries it's a genuine question, in italy we even already answer for the other guy: we say like "all good?" "all good" "all good"
Asking a Bulgarian how he's doing: "How am I supposed to be doing? Life sucks, everything is expensive as shit, work is shit, my wife cheated on me and the government is corrupt as shit, this country got ruined!"
I (German) once during the first lockdown asked my boss (US American) in a zoom meeting casually how he was, and he told me he was not doing good and how life was shit, and I still don't know if he just got really German by now or if he was suffering so much he ditched his American upbringing to talk about it 😂
We do sometimes actually answer the question if we feel comfortable. I either avoid even saying fine or I tell you the truth, it's only truly awkward if it's a situation where someone doesn't want to stay. Even if we didn't mean it seriously, we did ask the question and we do understand that we've asked for it and must take responsibility for that
Actually, as an Italian, I relate much more to the German "how are you" approach than to the Anglo-Saxon one. Many fellow Italians who lived in UK or US notice that people there find our answers to the question "how are you?" to be inappropriately confidential. For us it is perfectly legit to literally answer the question, even if it is also ok to simply answer "fine, thanks". Because of this, some of us even have the probably wrong impression that American/British people are, on average, much less interested in making real friends.
In UK/USA "How are you" is more of a "Hi, are you in the mood to talk? I welcome you to start a conversation, but if you aren't in the mood then you can just say 'fine.' and continue on with your day".
I’m an argentinian living in Italy for 3 years. When we argentinians greet someone (even if you don’t know’em) we do it with a “Hi, how are you?” but here in Italy I find the most puzzled faces when I ask that question. Most italians i encountered feel praised to hear that question, and try to answer it truthfully. You can even see the joy and surprise in their eyes as if no one had ever made them that question in days. I find it very cute.
HAHA the latin blood is like this everywhere. 1. Us/Uk: "it is just a greeting, dont reply to it!". 2. German/Slavs: "You are not my friend, dont ask it!" 3. Latins "You know, ill tell you about my life even if you dont ask for it!"
In my US job we had a guy come from the Germany branch to work on a project. After a few days, he came up to me in a panic and asked “When someone says ‘what’s up?’ what am I supposed to say??” lol
@@papaya8634 Well...you can say "not much." or "Not much, how about you?" But even better, you can just say "What's up?" back to them without answering, and no one will care lol
As a Serbian, when working with Americans who always start with hi, how are you.... I always lag a little, because I know its just a greeting but then it bugs me because its a question to which we can tell a story depending on the day XD
RIGHT? Hello fellow animal lover who actually discarded the blabbers of the rude person immediately to properly listen to the worries of the person who was prompted to talk by a complete stranger! XD
Exactly! Hahaha. But I like to ask people how they are and I would like them to answer honestly, even though most of the time I just hear "I'm fine". Haha
Same is Australia if it’s someone in passing or a cashier that you don’t know very well, as a greeting. But if it’s some one you know well then it’s a genuine conversation starter.
No, see, in America you're rude if you don't ask. But you are also obligated to say some variation of "fine, thanks". They have to ask how you are, but if the answer is anything other than "fine", then it is rude not to lie.
@@AB-pp8wh it's just a weird cultural thing. Honestly, it's annoying. It's polite to ask, but people tend to think you're over-sharing if you answer honestly. It's just the kind of thing you eventually get used to.
@@d.lan3y I've noticed this about you Americans that you say such things which don't make sense to most of the people from Europe. I do understand that it's your culture, but to be honest, I think it's a bit superficial. I mean like you're forced to be nice to strangers even though you may not feel like that. I personally see sincerity as something important, so if you don't care about someone, you shouldn't ask them how they are if you don't mean it. But it's just my opinion, so I don't want to offend anyone. Have a nice day.
I feel like people in general are throwing around that question relentlessly without thinking even once about what they're actually asking. Everyone should think twice about whether they care how the other person is feeling and preferrably use a different phrase if you just want to say hello. I know from own experience that getting that question from people, when you're feeling depressed for example, can feel very hurtful because you know they don't mean it and they most likely don't want to hear about it. However, I do think that the pandemic and this super long lockdown has changed people's mentality a little bit when it comes to that specific question, not assuming that everyone is "great" anymore and being more willing to listen also to the negative responses. The standard answer (atleast from my experience) has changed from "great" to "ok" or "hanging in there" due to the current situation. So, all in all I hope and I believe that people will be more caring and open to listen to the truthful answers to this question. I do hope you are doing fine, and this week brings some hope for us Berliners since we are now allowed to start doing outdoor events. Hope to see you around! 😄
@@diemaria456 Thank you! 😊 I'm doing alright and I have started "getting used to" how the world works now but I don't like it and I miss the true Berlin. 🥺
This is logic: An answer to a question. I love Germans for this and the fact that their language is also literal (phonetic) like you pronounce what you write. Transparency all the way 100%.
@@nic969 I'm a non-native - sort of - speaker xD with no problems whatsoever with the German pronunciation. The only inconvenient is that I don't have much memorized vocabulary to show off my incredibly super-duper pronunciation skills that I blame on my "musical" ear and vocal control ;) x') I'm working on increasing my vocabulary, langsam langsam aber siecher =)
This made me burst out laughing as my German friend gets annoyed when they ask me how I am and I give a casual response instead of going into minute detail about how I really am.
British person here, where I am we say ‘ye alright?’ And it’s never seen as anything other than to mean hi. Doesn’t even require a fine thanks, usually the other person says ‘ye alright?’ back 😅
As a non-British person I've always been taken aback when British people ask me if I am all right. I get the idea now but my paranoid self is always wondering - do I look like I'm not all right? I like the buffer of the pleasantry before entering into live conversation - it lets you gauge if now is a good time for a chat or not.
I'm not even German but this is how I answer when someone ask "How are you?", like, if you don't care at all, why do you even ask? Just say hi and that's it... it doesn't make sense.
It's just a cultural thing. In some English speaking countries such as the USA or Australia we say "How are you?" (in Britain "are you alright?") not expecting an actual response, and we don't expect them to expect an actual response when we're asked. We don't hear "How are you?" we hear "Hello :)" Just a very friendly cultural greeting
In Serbia, the question "How are you" is treated basically as French "ca va". But if somebody asks you: "What's new with/at you?", which happens all the time, they actually crave for longer conversation and expect something substantial to hear.
@@ittisjartam8913 yes but when you get a little bit closer to them some will tell you all their troubles in detail including which type of antidepressants they're currently taking. Which is unthinkable in Poland
I'm Italian and when I lived in England it was just clear to me that "how are you?" was not a real question, because it is the same here. It just means... I want to be nice to you. If we really want to know if the person is ok, we would ask a more personal question... example: "you look tired, everything ok?". But then expect a detailed answer. I had pretty much the same experience in the UK.
A young Swiss man telling me about his reaction to people in the US saying "Hello, how are you?" upon meeting him, a tourist: In his head: _That's none of your business, I don't know you, leave me alone, why are you asking me that?_
I came to Ireland and people were saying "How are ya" to say hello in passing and I was always so confused because I thought they wanted to start a conversation, so I would stop and say "I'm well thank you" and as I was asking "and how are you?" They were already walking past me like I didn't exist 🤣 I was so damn confused for a good month or so hahaha
Zahyra94 - My friend immigrated to Ireland from Russia. He experienced the same confusion initially when strangers in the street would smile and say 'How are ya' and he would think, 'Do I know you?' Eventually he adapted - but on subsequent visits to Germany and Belgium was almost arrested when he greeted local police this way.
Yes, I'm from Northern Ireland and we say, "alright mate, how's it going?" "what's the craic?", "what's happening?" etc. We don't really want an answer beyond, "it's all good mate", "not bad" etc haha. Don't get offended
It's a thing here in Australia and NZ as well haha😅. It's used more of a greeting if you're walking or doing anything if its not part of a serious conversation. Personally I hate asking people "How are u" as a greeting, I just say " good morning", evening, afternoon or sup. Just smile, nod and continue walking 👣...
omg I've talked to german people and they literally do this, someone even showed me their bank account. 😂 and yeah they talk a lot 😂 but it's good because we had a lot to talk about. no dull moment ✨
@Hi there yeah it was just like talking to a friend I haven't seen in months. I got really comfortable talking to them after a while. They also share things about life in Germany, I've learned a lot from them. 🥰
It's you guys who are the weird ones, not the germans. Its WEIRD and self serving to ask someone "how are you doing" and not actually want a response, americans are the weird ones. If you ask someone a question of course they'll actually tell you. Its just a cultural difference.
@@TamuTamuOnigiri It's not really weird, it's just a linguistic difference. "How are you?" in English and German mean different things, in German it's a proper question, whereas in English it's more of a conversational filler, similar to "hello". Even then, though, Americans don't always just respond with the usual "Good, and you?".
@@TamuTamuOnigiri usually, when I talk to other foreign people they use that as a conversation starter. Even some Germans just say "I'm fine" after I ask them how they are, and then we proceed to the actual conversation, if that makes sense.
@@ernsthornostaiev5534 I heard Russians also love to speak about Politics alot? We Germans too. The Belgians - I live in Belgium since my childhood - actually really don't.
@@Spinnradler I actually live in Kiev, Ukraine. No, ordinary Russians are not much into politics, but nowadays it became impossible to avoid it. Politics is everywhere.
"Asshole" is exactly the right response for anyone who asks a question like "How are you?" But doesn't actually care. There are plenty of ways to greet somebody... Don't choose the one phrase that pretends like you care but you don't really care. It's unnecessary and dishonest.
It's kinda like greeting in some places , it reflects how polite someone is , you aren't forced to respond back and whatever . Just be nice to someone who atleast cared to ask you . you must really have a sad life if you are that offended by someone asking how you are . It is a small way for starting a convo not a therapy session lol . It doesn't hurt to be nice sometimes .
@@afshanoorulain7360 Nothing kind about asking per se. In cases like this it is self-serving. The origin of politeness is the opposite of kindness, it separated the classes. Knowlegde that diffuses the means of language occupy the reason to use it as a way of transitioning "organically".
Just as you using another greetings, it's a cultural tradition and you have to respect that too. It's not like we never care about how someone is, it's just we know when someone is actually asking because of their wording or context. It's not that deep. Either ways, if someone answers "not so well", I highly doubt anyone would just ignore that. You don't have to be dishonest when someone asks, no one is forcing you to lie. But it's also true that you don't know everyone's time, you don't know if they're busy, if they have something to do, so why would someone answer with such a loooong answer if the one asking is a stranger? Just get used to the whole world not working as yours.
@Brandi Covey But usually people just say "I'm fine, thanks, and you" then you say "I'm fine too, thanks." And nobody ever ACTUALLY talks about ANYTHING.
something my Portuguese teacher taught me is: when they ask you "how are you" they don't actually wanna know are you, they're just being polite, so no matter what, always reply positively even if you're lying, just to be polite
First day of my high school German class. We learned "wie geht's ", then were promptly told never to use it. Unless, of course, you wanted a huge, in-depth answer. My German friends were taught that if you ask it in English, be perpared for people to not actually care or answer lol
Yeah, you can ruin some Germans days with it. Asking how you are shows empathic interest in someone and if you just ignore the genuine answer then you are more than rude. Can't really imagine some countires use it as a greeting..
😂😂😂 🐹 I like hamster, do you like hamster too? Actually I am more into bunnies .... ahhhh, and I saw that funny husky yesterday, do you like huskies? Sorry got lost, where did we start? 😆
in Malaysia, if someone asked you, just answer generally, "good" "it's okay" "I'm fine" if you don't want to tell them your problem, but when you answered "it's not good" or "it's bad" it's equivalent of asking for help indirectly and we will listen and try to help.
That’s my experience of what happens in my social circle, and I’m an American (Baltimore). I may ask people I don’t know how they are doing, and I may expect a short answer, but if they tell me more, I’m usually happy to hear about their life. If they’re not doing well, I sympathize or help if I can.
Actually, it's the other way around. As Ukrainian living in Germany, I usually answer in a more or less honest manner. It seems to be very unusual here and I have the feeling that no one expects me to do so. When, in turn, I ask Germans, they just answer "good" 95% of the time. Very frustrating and just boring.
😂 Lived here since 8yrs and my observation is a German will open up to a fellow German when asked, how are you? Speak genuinely from the heart. But when a foreigner looking individual asks, foreign by accent or skin colour it's the opposite. They coil up like a millipede/centipede, so reserved to foreigners especially if your country doesn't match up to theirs.
This isn’t really a “german” thing, it’s more a “give a shi*” thing using the basic assumption that the person asking is sincere .. healthy people don’t go around assuming the worst of others, and why wouldn’t someone be at least interested to hear about a person. It’s only due to the western/anglicised/american superficial attitude to everything that has permeated into relationships that it’s now obvious how oblivious some people move through their life. I grew up in UK, but lived in Germany most of my life. The fakeness called “politeness” is excruciating and why the UK has a disastrous mental health, addiction and abuse predicament. If people knew how to communicate sincerely it would make things much easier. What I learned in Germany is that a huge story as depicted here just shows a person that wants to communicate and it’s quite likely they expect you to share in a similar manner. It’s def not one sided.
this is super accurate. also it's a privilege when people share what's actually going on in their lives with you rather than fobbing you off with platitudes and merits actually listening to and making an attempt at empathy in return. anglo culture is indeed pathologically shallow in its lack of sincerity as you rightly point out.
I'm German but have lived in the UK for an extended period of time. German culture is SO much better when it comes to talking about actual issues; normally the English will change the subject as soon as it gets too personal or uncomfortable, so nothing is really resolved and people just suffer in silence. It's messed up and unhealthy.
You are spot on. I am german but I do spend a lot of time online and know a lot of people from the UK. And BOY OH BOY....I have had some issues over the years simply cos I always felt that everything was so fucking superficial and no one really cared about the deeper issues and always tried to avoid them. I always wanted to confront things in order to SOLVE issues, but jfc, british people seem to get PTSD when it comes to confronting ANYTHING, "confrontation" is such a negative thing associated with trouble and problems and I just dont get it. Yes, it IS a bit of work,but the intention behind it is to SOLVE the problems at hand and move on from them? Suffering in silence is just not an option to me,cos it just eats you up. I also find it interesting that you link this to addiction and abuse, I never thought about it this way. But it does seem like a lot, and i mean A LOT of people in the UK (even your friendly,unsuspecting neighbour in his 40s or 50s) will casually sniff cocaine and other drugs and I have always found this so weird. Maybe there really is a connection.
Here in Ireland we say... "Hows she cuttin ? " "How's it hangin ?" "How are ye now ?" "How are ye keepin ?" And one of my favourites... "Whats the story ?" And if you engage us in conversation, ya better have a packed lunch... 🙄😂 😎👍☘🍺
I'm American from the northeast US and I used to hear "How's it hangin?" and "What's the story?" all the time. Still use them myself to this day. My family's heritage is Irish and I grew up in a community with a lot of other Irish-Americans in the suburbs of Boston. "How's it goin?" and "What's up, kid?" were probably used the most overall, though. The latter being used for people you knew well. If we actually wanted to know how the other was doing, we'd usually do a doubling up of two of these phrases or a "What's goin on? How ya been?" after the initial "greeting" that sounds like a question.
As an American, I think this isn’t just about not wanting to hear other people’s problems. We’re all kind of trained to keep our struggles to ourself. “I’m good thanks” becomes our default because we don’t want to put our pain on other people. So it can feel strange when someone breaks that mold because that level of transparency feels unfamiliar. Just my take
Well, bottling things up is toxic and mentally unhealthy. It also makes people feel isolated with their own problems. Maybe this time around Americans could borrow from other cultures and start breaking the mold when it comes to how this question works like ? Well, you might try, probably could have positive effects on mental health in current socio-economic context.
Actually this is the good scenario. The worst would be they would tense up and get suspicious and it all gets awkward and then you want to die. After 13 years in Germany I learned the hard way and now I just go „na..?“. I just CAN‘T not ask someone how they are!!
I think "wie läuft's?" is also a good question if you don't want to hear more than a sentence. Usually people answer something like "Läuft gut" or a more neutral answer "Joa, läuft" or when they're feeling not so good "Läuft nicht so" or "Läuft rückwärts und bergab, aber läuft" and it's up to you whether you ask further questions or not. 😅
As a german I can tell you, this is accurate, though a bit overdramatic. You can answer honestly but still on a superficial level like "So - so, rough day". If the person who asked is interested in finding out more details, they can show interest and dig deeper and ask. You don't really need to tell a whole essay.
The point is...they are not even interested in So-so. LG aus Canada. Be well.😉
3 года назад+27
To be honest, this is one thing I do like about here. The first time I wanted to practice my German (after two classes 😂) I asked and old lady in front of my apartment „wie geht’s?“ and she literally stopped and started talking to me about her day. That was amazing, even if I got nothing of what she said. At first I thought she was just lonely and wanted to talk, but it happened to me more times and then I got it was a cultural thing. Now I know we are fake af in that aspect because we don’t really care about the rest. It is the same exact situation but it goes like - Hi, how are you? - Good, and you? - good, thanks. Second option: - Hi, how are you? - Actually, not that good - ... panics in Latin... (Oh God, he/she will tell me how he/she really is. Fuck, I am late, arrrrgggggg, I should not have asked)
Next time dont ask How are you . Instead you should just say• Guten Tag! thats the right phrase.
3 года назад+1
@@taniakrause9253 I had been learning for two days German, so I didn’t know much by then. Now I can proudly ask because at least I can have a conversation 😅.
@@andreabruni1997 Appunto pk ad esempio se veramente sto male oppure ho passato una situazione difficile nel ultimo periodo racconto tutto. Ma se sto bene dico solo “bene, grazie”
I'll draw someone tomorrow for the #shootwithradical and post it on Insta ;) will also put the outcome on the Q&A video. Looking forward to it :)
Ich sehe manchmal ein Kollege von mein Freund am Bahnhof. Er fragt dann immer: "Alles gut bei dir?" Und wirklich jedesmal denke ich: "mmm bin ich sichtbar depressiv?? Warum fragt er das??" Ich sagt dann nur: "ja, danke und bei dir?"
(Witzigerweise ist er Deutscher und ich Ausländer...hehe)
@@damondebruin1699 wow, thanks mate! Welcome aboard! :))
Bin schon fast 3 Jahre hier in Deutschland und ich hab kein Bock drauf. 😅
Детерминизм это Свобода 🤙 🤙 🤙
German? This is ME!
Asking a German : Hey, how are you?
German : *Pain intensifies*
My very first boss was Bavarian. When I asked him "how are you", his standard answer was: "Not so bad" :)
@@fulopattila122 that's what some people say here in Australia, "not too bad". :)
@@aumelb in India we say ,"we're fine" even if we've been in a car accident and dying
With Russians it is the same)
And all of this misfortune happened to me on a Sunday of all days.
Ich bin Leibe shon Germania.😁This transmission was sent from Reno-Lake Tahoe Mount Rose ,NV
Thursday morning
9.11am
3.6.21
This is my neighbor while I lived in Bavaria.
He once answered me for 32 minutes in front of the entrance. I measured the time on my cell phone.
I learned the whole history of Germany and mankind that day. I learned why BMW sucks, why China is getting stronger. Why green parties in Germany are getting stronger. Why Elon Musk is coming to Berlin, not Munich...although my German was at B1 level in that moment and he knew I didn’t understand him completely.
The guy was actually from Berlin, retired.
Hahaha he really needed an ear to listen^^
Da
Odakle si?
dont ask stupid questions if you dont wanna hear the answers
Fucc the Greens tho
As a German, I almost never ask anyone how they are doing. And when I ask, I actually expect a detailed status report.
In France I obverved several times how two French guys walk past each other both saying "ca va" = How is ist? without even stopping. They just continued walking without waiting for an answer. It is used like saying Hi to someone, which really confused me a lot.
If not that, it could go something like this:
"Eh! ca va ?"
"ca va. ca va ?"
"ca va"
Meanwhile in Saarland:
"Unn?"
"Eijo...unn selwa?"
"Eijo"
Same is in my country. That's why when I came to Germany and would ask Germans or other nationalities how are you (it's like a greeting, just a "Well" is expected ) they would be confused and I also because they wouldn't respond at all 🤣
en peru it's the same as in france hahah
Same in Brazil, it's always so fast I can't even answer "fine"
In Finland, if you say hello to a stranger, they will:
A) assume you’re drunk
B) assume you’re insane
C) assume you’re American
😂😂😂😂🤙
As an American (if they indeed are) it's much safer to assume all three...trust me😬
In finland, you say nothing to strangers? 🤔
I've been to Finland for just a day and can confirm that. Although they were a bit right as I was a bit drunk, I am a bit insane and I'm kind of American (south american though), so not that wrong.
not even your neighbors at your building?
AFTER LIVING IN EUROPE THIS IS NOW ME
omg damon dominique! I know it's bad manners to ambush ppl 'in public' outside of their work (even if on the internet) : D but I just wanted to say thanks for doing your thing. it's really really great and you're quite the inspiration. j'espere que tout va bien avec vous ces jours!
@@nickshahpari7346 spain its not like france france its not like germany germany its nothing like Italy Italy its nothing like Austria austria its noting like poland poland its nothing like the Netherlands lol
Dud go travel more i bet you think that the USA floats in a flat Platte below it you have tacos and somewhere else in the dome near the moon hologram there is vodka lol
As a new yorker, I'd rather die than come into contact with other human
France: bonjour ❤️
Germany: GUTEN TAG 🔪
@@StoneCoolds I think they meant to say "as *if* all the countries there are the same
When I was travelling in Berlin, I asked a guy who looked very sad how he was. He spoke for a long time and was my first bf. ❤️❤️❤️
Awwww🥺🥺🥺
"first bf" poor guy. Hope he's doing well.
@@sztypettto *Thought that too*
@@sztypettto yeah what's wrong everybody has the right to leave a relationship when it's not working anymore.. Else it might become toxic and abusive
@@lolalina_ , doesn't sound like a relationship, sounds more like a job. If you're going to abandon multiple relationships, doesn't that sound like a need to review one's interpersonal relationship abilities? It makes the next person wonder the sort of people you've been attracting in the past, and reconsider why they should be with someone whose common denominator is 'leaving relationships when they're not working out else it might become toxic and abusive'.
Speaking of jobs, I don't think any recruiter/employer prefers hiring a person who has jumped multiple jobs and spoke negatively about their previous employer.
Thanks for sharing your perspective though.
I like it when people are honest and talk whats actually going on with them instead of the bullshit "fine and you ?". I like to hear people's day and cheer them up if they are feeling down.
You're a rare breed, most people actually don't care and are just being "polite" when asking that question and expecting to be answered "Fine, and you ?" 😮
@@goldflo91 he is not a rare breed actually most of the people in whole World are like that ...I'm telling you because I live in Latin America.
@@goldflo91 Maybe I'm weird or too caring not sure but I like hearing people being honest with their situation so they can let some of their problems of their chest and if I have issues I can tell them without issues. If they are actually good well then I'd be happy about it but most people just whine about how bad their lives are and when you ask how they are they'll like "I'm diddly dandy and you ?".
Then you should stay the hell away from Australia. U.S. President Harry Truman once said that if you want a friend in Washington, get yourself a dog. If President Truman had lived in Australia, he would have said get yourself a pack of dogs.
Same
I love that he spend more time talking about his hamster than his wife cheating 😄
😂😂😂
I can relate to that. The wife was cheating him but the hamster was a loyal companion that dedicated his life to him and he was sick!
Hamsters wont cheat on u!
Am I the only one that actually didn't listen to a thing he's said? 😂
he has some good priorities
Me as a German person: "Oh my god, why is he asking me this? I don't even know him, what do you even answer to that? PANIK
Exactly. The weirdo is the one who asks a stranger such private questions!
"How are you?"
"Sorry, no coins..."
Panik 😂❤️
@@Biscuit754 It's a casual greeting in the USA. You can answer "fine, how are you?" and the person may say something similar back. It is not expected to be a conversation. It's literally just a way of saying "hello." People sometimes will use it to start a conversation which is also ok and some people really like talking to strangers this way when they go places to get a feel of who is around them. But it is in no way meant to be an obligation to talk. There's a history behind it but it's culturally nuanced. Long story short, when you live in a melting pot with lots of immigrants and group tensions, you try to be as friendly as possible with strangers to ease the atmosphere. Even when saying a simple hello. Good in this greeting basically means "We're good," as in "Hi, I don't want any problems so let's agree that we both want to be create a good atmosphere by being nice while we both go about our day."
@@my2cents49 For "us" the one asking is still "the weirdo" because "we" wouldn't want to have to lie or talk to strangers in general. I don't want to speak for everyone but I think this is the general direction in Germany 😂 Different cultures are funny :D
Asking a German: how are you?
What the German hears: list your latest medical report and strokes of faith with a pinch of „politicians just do what they want“
HAHAHA i am the first person commenting because everybody agreed with you
HAHAHA i am the second person commenting because everybody agreed with you
HAHAHA i am the third person commenting because everybody agreed with you
ahahhahahahhahaha
Oh my God that's so accurate
I never understood how Americans use "how are you?" As a greeting, and not expect a whole life story coming their way
Moving to Europe my greetings have sometimes turned into “hey, how are you?………….. you don’t have to answer that…”
I moved from Europe to Uruguay and here it's the same. They use "how are you" in such a casual way, and I was super weirded out by it at first.
@@Pabc11 then only say: "Hi" instead. :) or is this too short?
In my country everyone usually just says "well" with an occasional joke or life story.
I'm American and don't understand this either
American here: I WISH more people responded like this. I genuinely want to know about you, even as a complete stranger. I hate small talk and fake pleasantries so if someone started telling me their entire story for the past few months of their life, I would be over the moon, stop everything I'm doing, and listen.
Ah, the classic Introvert's Curse: actually wanting to listen deeply to someone else. Best of luck. It is possible America is not the best place to look for this.
+1
I love this. Let's be friends! I will dump so much life history in you. But I will want to hear yours as well!
AMAZING ☺️
It's the same in England. How are you? Is basically just a greeting, it comes after 'hi' or hello and the correct answer is "Fine thanks and you?". Even if you're secretly feeling depressed and suicidal you still have to say you're fine or very well. To answer anything else would instantly make the situation turn awkward.
I hate it too. I really wish when people asked that question, they would care enough to actually want to hear the true answer.
Sometimes people do but its generally only if you already know each other really well and are close friends.
Its the same as putting on a cheerful happy face to make the people around you feel good, even if the truth is you're really struggling. It's kind of an unspoken societal expectation.
I thought this was just an English thing.
This is one thing I love about Germans actually. What’s the point in asking when you don’t want to hear the answer?
I personally would like to hear an honest answer when I ask someone how is he doing.
Ikr
Because in America it often just means hello. The context and whether they keep walking should tell you that it's just a Hello. Other times, it actually is a question.
Someone: "How are you?"
Germans from North German: "Muss ja."
Another someone: "How are you?"
Me: "Please, I don't want to lie! Leave me alone!"
Yes exactly. I usually ask something else back to avoid answering
Yes, that is true! I learned it from my Grandpa from Berlin.
Muss ja ist die Standartantwort
"Muss" in the Ruhr Valley
Nicht nur Norddeutschland
As a mexican we love listen the WHOLE life of strange people and give them advices and bad jokes for free!!!
My dad was Mexican and maybe that's where I got it! I live in the Midwest US where we say "How's it going?" as a greeting that doesn't expect an answer. But I'll go off about how my allergies are, how I'm mad at someone, etc, and I love when people do the same. Like give me the tea.
@@mary.b.93 haha that sounds fun. Here in brazil people ask how youre doing but they dont really care. Btw your hair looks awesome haha greetings from brazil
On my way to Mexico to find some strangers that will listen to my life story and give me some advice lmao
I love how you guys be talking about speaking with strangers and here in my whole Chilean life I've never seen two people even look at each other on the street
I am mexican I do love it but we normally just say "fine".
When I (german) first moved to the UK, I was perpetually amazed by how interested people were in my life (even strangers!). Being British, they were much too polite to stop me once I started responding to the question. It took several weeks before a colleague found the courage to tell me 'actually, that's just a way of saying 'hello''
I love everything about this situation:
- the german actually answering the question in detailed manner
- the british not interrupting out of sheer politeness
You should make a video of your story hh it could be funnier!
@@MDzmitry Perfectly balanced as all things......
Lmao
As a Welshman, it frustates me when an Englishman (or one of an English persuasion in cultural attitude) just uses it as a "hello".
Growing up in America, I never understood why people asked everyone how they were doing when no one was sincere about it. Now, I live in Germany, I never ask people how they are unless it's a friend or family member that I want to communicate with. I really like the straight forward way of life in Germany.
How are you in America is like saying hello
We just respond with some variation of "good and yourself?"
It's just something people say. Don't be so anal about it just because you're on the spectrum.
It just means "I acknowledge you". Don't think too much about it.
This bothered me so much when I spent 3 months in the US. I never could figure out whether people actually asked or if this was the local hello. I'd make great efforts to avoid the question and yet be polite.
As an American, this is so accurate for us. We literally ask everyone how they’re doing but get super uncomfortable if someone ACTUALLY answers the question 🤣🤣🤣
so why do you ask then? Isn't there an alternative, maybe just a greeting?
@@tomastesar2318 that is a greeting for us. Usually the person asking will comfortably accept a short, but honest answer, like “I’m just okay” or “I’ve been better” but they don’t want details, because that can be seen as over sharing unless you’re close enough to warrant details. It’s just seen as rude to share or ask for details most of the time.
Yeah it is rare to give details here too, but asking someone how are you here is like saying: "part of your bullshit is now my bullshit. It is up to you how much of it, I might not ask again". But it is very rare to pass on too much of it, unless you are desperate.
It’s so weird. If you ask someone something, mean it.
@@starstencahl8985 right! Don't get it
As a Russian, I find this such an annoying habit to ask people how are they doing and not expect the answer you asked for.
Yeah, wright?
Ok...
>farhad khakimov
>russian
@@stassyan why not?
@@tatianabulavina2140 because his name and surname are obviously not russian
“You didn’t even care how I am, did you? Asshole!!”
I empathize with the German in this case ☺️. Coming to America from Germany was quite a culture shock for me, especially hearing the phrase “how are you?” and later coming to realize it was more of a greeting rather than a genuine display of care. In all honesty I prefer “how are you?” to be used only out of genuine care. Otherwise, don’t ask me how I am. I tire of quick responses - “I’m fine”, or “I’m good” because I realize life is complex… and I value talking about its intricacies… even with a stranger.
So yeah, I FEEL YOU GERMAN ☺️
What are your thoughts on this? I realize other people may have different perspectives than mine and I am open to hearing about them 😊
Thank you for your “thyme” 😉
As an American, I think it's a little bit more nuanced than this. When someone asks "how are you?" they probably do care, at least a little, so an honest response is perfectly acceptable (in most circumstances). However, don't let that fool you into giving an entire dossier. Responses like "I've been better" or "not too well" are just as acceptable as "fine." I'd expect to give or receive an honest response to the question, but the response should be very brief. If the person really wants more detail, they can ask follow-up questions.
I tired of the standard verbal handshake (hi, how...fine, how...) a long time ago, so I started experimenting with different answers. I had fun with "it's a long story" for a while...you can do all sorts of emphasis, make people laugh and sometimes people ask about it.
@@trollme.trollmehard.9524 awwe, that’s so cool 😄. I like that you got creative with it
In SA is the same: “cómo estás?“ means just a greeting but not a question
Pls next time anyone of you read this and come to Singapore. Don't do it. Just say hi will do.
I'm not a German, but asking strangers "How are you?" and not expecting a serious answer is even weirder.
I'm German and I totally agree with that. I hate it when random people ask me how I am.
@@vuivarine3285 American here, also hate it. Sometimes I'll give the honest truth about my crap day and watch them fumble over trying to care
i always answer: not of ur business!
How are you does not require serious answer. In Croatia and as I see by your name that you are probably from Bosnia, and the rest of Balkans its normal to ask how are you in form: kako si, kako je, jesi mi dobar...etc.
Asking a stranger in Balkans: how are you would result in person not responding, asking do I know you or just replying...fine.
@@shadesmarerik4112 nice manners 😂
I'm American and this confuses me too. Why do we need a thousand ways to say hello to people we don't care about? I wish questions like this were genuine in our culture.
If you want to actually know just say "What's new in your world lately?"
if i wanna say “hello” here in europe, we just say “hi” (in italian “ciao”) and nothing else, because if we say “how are you?” we mean it
@@fritzasong huh? Kumusta lol
@@fritzasong naunsa naman ka? kumusta naman ka? nitambok ka lage? niniwang ka lage? unsa nagdiet ka? pagsure ba kay manayaw tag zumba.
Depending on what part of America you're in it is very genuine. Where I'm from (south) somebody says "how are you we probably won't give a super detailed report but it's always genuine. We don't just say "good"
It's always "I'm doing pretty alright. Just got off work. Gotta pick the kids up and take them to soccer practice." Or if it's a bad day I hear a lot of "honestly not great." And then you will say "oh no? What's wrong? If I can ask." And then they will tell you. So it's a bit.kore involved I suppose but it's still genuine
I wish people did this in America. I hate asking how people are and just getting “good, and you?”. I expect a real answer when I ask how someone’s doing
I think most people are the opposite and ask 'how are you' just as a friendly greeting not expecting any other reply except good how about you.
@Tina Warner congraduations! Also, it's okay to not have to make everything go perfectly and to just be in the moment. It took me a while but I eventually realised that I wasn't on this earth to entertain people and make their lives easier and that people could also take care of themselves and of figuring out what they wanted and communicating it. It is okay to just take space. You don't have to be obligated to feel like someone's parent and to make sure everything goes perfectly for them etc.
It sounds like you are looking forward to starting a new life and I'm happy for you. Sorry things didn't work out with your friend but not all friendships last, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Ending something that wasn't right for you rather than trying to force it to last is mature and involves awareness of your own boundaries.
I wish more people would realise this about divorce and also that breaking up with friends would be more normalised - friendship shouldn't be seen as a secondary concern, or as less important in society than romantic relationships. They also require boundaries and self-awareness. You can learn from them and have them last for a time without lasting forever. People change and changing for the better is healthy. It makes logical sense that something that seemed to work for us before may not work now even with relationships.
I live in Europe and there’s both responses - this is a generalization. I prefer Americans because I really don’t care.
@@ib4447 then why are you asking?
Most Americans can easily differentiate between using that phrase as a simple greeting, and someone really expecting an in-depth answer. You would have to be lacking basic social skills to not know the difference.
As a Mexican 🇲🇽 it's normal to talk about your whole life with a person you just have met at the market XD
Yeah, it sounds strange but it is not, sometimes we all need to share about ourselves and listen to each other.
It's not just beautiful México. It's like that in almost all of Latin America. . . Except Argentina, of course. ("¿Y vos quién sos, boludo?')
Sí, pero nunca es después de un “¿Cómo estás?” usualmente esa frase también es únicamente saludo. Las pláticas de camión empiezan porque alguien te preguntó dónde debe bajarse, o algo así, y ya te cuenta toda su vida.
@@rocioleal6546 jajaja es cierto. No es como de que apenas se vieron a los ojos y ya le cuentas de tu vida. Cómo tú dices, cuando sacas plática y un tema lleva al otro y así jajaj XD
@@JSB103 Yeah, you're right hahaha :D
Mexico seems to be a hospitable place
one second about the wife cheating, 50 seconds about sick hamster
Priorities, my man. If the car would be broken or in any way damaged that would be the top of the list
...that and the soccer results of course.
Logical-wife was healthy!
:)
Mans got his priorities all sorted out
That's why she cheated 😂🤣😭
Yeah at this point my hamster would be my priority too...
British dude at a Workcamp asked me "Hey, how are you?" each morning. Took me two weeks to realize that it was a fucking greeting, not a genuine question😅
So... Yeah, the vid is a good representation of how that went😂
When I ask it, I mean it. How are ya?
I mean it when I ask but if it's not "good" it should just be a quick response like "not so good I failed my test but oh well 🤷 you ? "
It's a conversation not a therapy session lol
I learned the same lesson in Australia, "How you going?" (totally confusing, I know) was a greeting not an actual question lol.
Two weeks, wow you are quick... Took me a year and reading a book on culture to understand why he is not messing with me 🤣
@Kaelan It depends on the dialect of the British person -- where I'm from, "'Ey up" ("What's up"), "'Ow do" ("How do you do"), and "'Oreyt" ("Alright?") are just greetings for strangers.
As an American, it’s sad how “how are you?” isn’t genuine...it’s more of a greeting.
I try to be as sincere and leave them with a word of encouragement
I think it also happens in Brasil. They always say "tudo bem?" after hi and I dont know if to answer or not
That's dumb.
*As I said in another reply:*
It's just s greeting, like _"Was geht?)_
with young people in Germany. You just answer _"Was geht!"_ too.
With _"How are you?",_ you can just answer _"Fine, thank you!"_ and then go on with how you actually are and what's going on!
@@cloudofw3313 It's sad because "how are you?" is a question first and only considered a friendly greeting in certain cultures. Tjen again, there are things like this in every culture and every language. Humans are simply awkward creatures once you place them in any unfamiliar situation.
As a german myself I can confirm: This is so true!
We literally *never* ask random people „How are you?“
If we truly ask that somebody we (at least I) really expect an answer like that. 😂😂
We Dutch as well.
If I ask it's because I care
So if you meet someone ,just say Hi?
@@192titan Yes something as simple as that. Hello or hi. But mostly you don’t even greet unless it’s a person we know. I know we germans can be weird but usually we don’t greet people that often except when you live outside the city. There it’s way more common to do that than in the city’s.
This is precisely the way this question works like in poland as well. Maybe this is why German males get along so well with Polish ladies? I imagine the same random conversation social rules must be a good ice-breaker in this sense. American way of asking this question with a complete disrgeard for an honest reply have always seemed odd to me, even though I have been immersed in British culture early on. Seems to me that Brits do not overuse asking it if they do not care for a reply.
I'm Polish and we also get confused when Americans ask us this question out of the blue 😂
I want to meet a Polish or German, ask them this..I want to see the confused look.
@@nitink.a567 remember, if someone is asking you how are you, then you need to run... Or just say "ehh" and talk about something else
@@nitink.a567 in reality though it probaply is followed by a
"was muss das muss" (it is how it is)/ geht so (somehow alright) or a
sorry but do i know you?
Polish person here, I confirm hahah when I ask someone how they are doing I expect them to tell me all the good and bad news :D My response to my non-Polish friends texting "how are you?" Is always a freaking essay!
Especially when you dont know the person XD
With my friends (I'm from the Netherlands) it usually goes like this: "How are you?" "Yeah I'm fine, and you?" "Yeah I'm okay!" And then 30 minutes in you both ask the question again (but more serious) and then you get a real answer
It’s the same with me and my friends
XD in Italy too
Same in Brazil hahaha
...sounds like you have actual friends...
American. That's how it be sometimes with my friends. Or I'll just say 'how are you actually?' when I first see them
The trick is Americans use "You all right?" as a real question, and "How are you?" as a greeting. In Britain it's usually the opposite. In other places, you gotta learn the local phrase.
ohhh, makes sense
Ahh Britan, the little older sibling
In The UK it's, "Alright". Haha
@Jooles depends on where you live, "you good" was definitely something you hear more if AAVE was more commonly spoken in the area
And sometimes, there is no difference so you hear friends ask each other the same question twice in a row and once get a perfunctory "Fine" and the next get a real discussion.
Australian here. People started asking this as a greeting in the early 80's as an alternative to the Aussie g'day. I'm more used to it now but I remember feeling offended in supermarket checkouts to be asked how I was by a cashier who clearly wasn't interested. It made me feel irritated and depressed, when I would have been perfectly happy just to buy my stuff with a polite thankyou and move on. Or have a cheerful exchange if the cashier really felt like talking (as opposed to being told what to say to customers by Americanised corporate training).
In Poland we find asking strangers ,,how are you" as question towards someone who you really care about. After such question you can expect 1h answer and if you will not listen till the end you will change your mate into enemy
Haha same in Hungary
Good to know!
😂👍🏻
So true
So could you ask, "how are you, briefly?"
Stop asking this question if you don't want to hear the answer! Not only Germans react like that, but most of the world! And it's normal. Asking questions you don't want to hear the answers to is abnormal!
But not the UK
@@hannahheal354 Uhh yes, the US and UK are partners in crime!
I wouldn’t say “most of the world”, but I guess it really depends in the country. Where I live it’s kinda just polite to ask that, you don’t really expect a sincere answer and you don’t have to feel pressured to open your heart to someone you don’t know enough for telling that kind of stuff. But well, like I was used to just hearing a “fine” like answer that reaction of the german guy really shocked me.
@@kornaxon3522 no i mean in the UK we give a short yes thanks
Who says we dont want to hear the answer? :)
Being a Russian: we take "how are you" question in the same manner🤣🤣🤣
Как дела?
нормально.
@Jonny Camp или huevo
I just wanted to write that
«За всё слава Богу, могло бы быть и хуже!»
Same in Russia, never ask a "how are you" question if you don't have time to listen :D When I started working with foreign people I was so confused with this greeting, like why would you ask that if don't want to hear an answer?! Just say "hi" or something?? I literally thought it was form of passive agressive trolling and was having a hard time understanding that it's just a polite thing.
Here foreign u mean American?
This could have been added anywhere, but here it is. In 1975,
on a visit from my native NY back
to London, I gave full reports when
asked by a good English friend how I was. He finally said, "Most people
answer "Fine," and leave it at that.
But you...." I was shocked, and not a little hurt. And it seems, I haven't forgotten. Lol.
- как дела? - нормально!
Сплошь и рядом.
@@e.r.4077 You seem hurt tho, since you remember it to this day 😂
“Omg what’s happening, why is he telling me all this?”
Because you asked him! 😂😂😂
Haha Brilliantly simple XD
In real life sometimes when people just start to tell such deep stuff to people which they not really know well. Then they where probably waiting a long time to get this hot air out somewhere. Then the listener is just in an little uncomfortable but for the person needed position to help a little with listening.
Except he didn't. He just wanted a general idea of where things were.
If he wanted the specifics, he'd ask why.
Yes but to us Americans that means hi
@@Warriorcats64 maybe in America but in Europe people usually actually want to know how’re you doing when they ask this lol
Same for Russian :) There is no “casual” answer for this kind of question. It is too serious!
I love the russian culture and i dont even know why like everyone who is russian i immediately find sympathetic
Yeah, how are you doing, by the way? ;)
@@shareten1247 feeling bad for lost souls under putin's satanish dictatorship
As a german I noticed a lot of similarities between russians and germans. Probably why I get along with them naturally whenever I meet them.
@@BavarianHobbit as one of my Russian friends who rejected Germany as a country of professional migration (chose Canada eventually) said - "no way I will go to Germany, they are same as Russians but more sober")
1. Us/Uk: "it is just a greeting, dont reply to it!". 2. German/Slavs: "You are not my friend, dont ask it!" 3. Latins "You know, ill tell you about my life even if you dont ask for!"
Also asians, we have the same culture w latins when it comes to "how are you"s
In Italy depends on who is asking and the occasion, but usually it's just a greeting
It's like the people in this comment section were born yesterday and don't understand that people in different areas of the world have different cultures.
Japan : i will tell you my backstory and latest arc, redemption arc.
As a Latin myself, when someone ask me that question I only respond
"Fine and you?"
And then an awkward silence comes.
(Also I know people that tell you all their lives but is not that common)
in Azerbaijan the conversation has its literally coded structure like:
-Hello, how are you?
+Hi, Good, what about you?
-Good, thanks
Thats it. Last week, I was in a rush and told my friend, "hello, how u doing?" and he answered "hello, how u doin" and we could not continue the conversation because we were confused that it was not the right order, or what happened? As I said, this conversation is coded:D
It's exactly the same in England.
It's about the same in America, too... only we might say 'have a nice day' at the end and both leave.
In Portugal it's like this:
Hey what's up?
What's up?
Then they both walk away.
wtf iam from Germany and this communication doesn't feel right xD
I personally hate it when people ask "How are you?" but don't actually want a response.
I personally hate it when people ask "How are you?" but actually want a response.
You forgot to mention how is Your hamster doing...
It's just a cultural thing, in English speaking countries like the US and Canada we say, "How's it going?" or something along those lines as a polite "Hello".
It should go,
"How's it going?"
"Not too bad, yourself?"
"Good, thanks"
That's it. Even if youre not good you say, "good, thanks"
@@odbodd123 you have trust issues
Some cultures are superficial. I wouldn't want to live there. It is depressing. 😁
A colleague once answered:
"Still alive."
I use that till today 😄
I used to say, "here still breathing" and thats it. Lol.
I am gonna steal that one
Makes more sense today because of covid
I usually respond with either "within optimal parameters" or "if I could be better, it would be worse."
My response to "How's it going?" is typically "It certainly is going."
Moving to Germany I think this is one of the first things to learn.. don't ask how they are unless you REALLY MEAN IT
Yes you got it, now you are welcome😉
Don't ask or say anything unless you mean it. It's the same with these "fake invitations" that Americans are used to. If you say "hey you should come over some day" I go check my calendar.
I'm half German my blood. And when people ask me how I'm doing, my instincts tell me to be honest like this. I suppress that urge, and die a little inside when I say the expected: "I'm fine!"
Thank you for your sincere answer, you are a lovely person! I really like your answer, you are a good soul!♥
It's more like an English test. If you fail it, we know you are not one of us and silently judge you thereafter.
It's just a polite greeting, like "Wie geht es?"
General rule: If you don't want to know, don't ask
That how it do be in West and North Germany, in the north they even have 2 ways of saying hello one for if you don t wanna talk and just acknowledge the other ones presence the other one for if you wanna have a chat
@@OoOoOo-we3dn Those 2 ways beeing? Moin and Hallo?
@@MovieVisions Moin (hello pls only talk with me if it s important) and Moinmoin(hello pls I want to have a small chat)
Better rule: If this isn't a standard cultural greeting where you currently are and you don't want to know, don't ask
In some places it's just a standard greeting that everyone recognizes and responds to with "Good, you?" as a greeting.
"Hey, how are you?"
"Good, you?"
"I'm good"
then you waddle away... till the very next day-
If you're out traveling in a foreign country, probably best to not ask if you don't want to know
Have to partially disagree.Yes, the other person might not truly want to know how your life is going and what has happened to you last week. Yet, for some people it can really help to have such a simple question at hand to start a conversation. Especially for introverted people, having the question "how are you?" can be extremely helpful as an easy way to make contact with other people. This can be a useful question when at a party or a conference. Sometimes, we just need a conversation starter. At these moments, don't take the question too seriously :-)
Someone: "How are you doing?"
German: *let me pull out my essay*
hahahahhaha
It's not weird, I would actually enjoy small conversations like this with people. And I'm not German and we don't have this in our culture but I appreciate this
We don't either. But no one asks random people how they are. So situations like this don't happen.
@@Lukas4182 I've had this happening to me at several bus stations in bayern and I quit enjoyed those talks
@@cyrusdrawsstuff8916 oh so you asked random germans how they are? :D I feel a bit sorry for them. But probably once the conversation got going it was really nice!
@@Lukas4182 no I didn't ask them, one of them just opened up talking about the weather and then she went on talking about her children
@@Lukas4182 which part of Germany are you from?
Lol this happened with me when I stepped in Europe first time . I asked a colleague casually "How are you" and i ended up knowing his entire family problems including his cat . Spent 10 minutes listening to him . I learned my lesson 😄
When you ask a German: Hey bro whatsup?
German: whole german history since ww1 flashes in front of his eyes
Since Roman times*
@@appleslover Bro, your pfp is so cute
Yeah but they'll probably not focus on the ww2 part for too long
@@gus2116 lol German history class is like 90% about ww2
Japanese one?! *0%*
@@gus2116 We focus on everything but WW2 is pretty much the last thing because it's not that long ago so it has to come at last. I also had the topics about wars in America, India Pakistan, Japan China, Australia ect. And bedsides that, not everything is about war in history class.
Ich habe das nie verstanden. Warum stellt man solche Fragen, wenn man an die Antwort kein Interesse hat?
Wir erwarten nur ein kurz beschreibung von hochestins 10 worte....I'm good, Im bad I have a cold, terrible my pet hamster died....Das wars! aber meistins sag einfah gut, auch wenn es nicht so ist weil es ist nicht wirklich eine frage. und wenn, dann nur ein kutz antwort ist erwartet
einfach als kleiner Eisbrecher, um nicht direkt mit der Tür ins Haus zu fallen 😁
it's not a real question, it's just an acknowledgement of your presence
@@lynnsintention5722 Aber warum?😅
Dann habe ich 10 Wörter lang darüber geredet wie es mir geht, aber was bringt das Ganze wenn es das Gegenüber so oder so nicht interessiert?
Noch blöder ist der Spruch „Wir sehen uns die Tage“, wenn man das gar nicht macht und eh woanders wohnt. Bin immer schockiert, wenn das kommt. 🙈 🥴
I need to move to Germany in this case because when I bother asking people “how are you?” I actually want an honest answer, I don’t care for the usual lies we tell each other.
Well you'd really love it here then. Usually it's not that detailed or long but we actually try to give an honest reply with a bit of information. But it's actually like this when you are close to the person lmao.
I typical german answer is "muss" means i do what i have to do or "geht schon" means i am nearly fine.
I would never tell a stranger the truth 😉
@@praxishinundher geht schon is more universal here
I'm meanwhile so annoyed that everyone always tells me their whole life story, that when someone asks me how I am, I just say I'm good and don't ask him how he is
Same, I only ask them when I want to.
That would be an interesting map of the world: countries split between those where How are you requires an answer and those where it's a greeting. I think most of Europe excepting UK, Ireland (maybe ca va in France) is in the first category
unfortunately, in Italy it's like a greeting ... I find it totally absurd asking someone how things are going and not being interested in a sincere answer - you don't care? simply don't ask!
Nah only in germany and slavic countries it's a genuine question, in italy we even already answer for the other guy: we say like "all good?" "all good" "all good"
Asking a Bulgarian how he's doing:
"How am I supposed to be doing? Life sucks, everything is expensive as shit, work is shit, my wife cheated on me and the government is corrupt as shit, this country got ruined!"
Same tho
-Amerixana
Same too in Greece. #makehappythoughtsbro #balkanshit
Same for Turkey
I see its the same everywhere...
Accurate for the Bulgarians I know.
I (German) once during the first lockdown asked my boss (US American) in a zoom meeting casually how he was, and he told me he was not doing good and how life was shit, and I still don't know if he just got really German by now or if he was suffering so much he ditched his American upbringing to talk about it 😂
I’m an American living Australia and I just tell them how I really feel and they all think I’m nuts.
He had probably reached his breaking point, poor guy
We do occasionally actually answer lol
The latter. Covid hit us Yanks really hard, because of our dipshit "President" then.
We do sometimes actually answer the question if we feel comfortable. I either avoid even saying fine or I tell you the truth, it's only truly awkward if it's a situation where someone doesn't want to stay. Even if we didn't mean it seriously, we did ask the question and we do understand that we've asked for it and must take responsibility for that
Actually, as an Italian, I relate much more to the German "how are you" approach than to the Anglo-Saxon one. Many fellow Italians who lived in UK or US notice that people there find our answers to the question "how are you?" to be inappropriately confidential. For us it is perfectly legit to literally answer the question, even if it is also ok to simply answer "fine, thanks". Because of this, some of us even have the probably wrong impression that American/British people are, on average, much less interested in making real friends.
This ^ it took me a while to get that "How are you" is just the English version of our (Italian) "we" lol
In UK/USA "How are you" is more of a "Hi, are you in the mood to talk? I welcome you to start a conversation, but if you aren't in the mood then you can just say 'fine.' and continue on with your day".
I’m an argentinian living in Italy for 3 years. When we argentinians greet someone (even if you don’t know’em) we do it with a “Hi, how are you?” but here in Italy I find the most puzzled faces when I ask that question. Most italians i encountered feel praised to hear that question, and try to answer it truthfully. You can even see the joy and surprise in their eyes as if no one had ever made them that question in days. I find it very cute.
HAHA the latin blood is like this everywhere. 1. Us/Uk: "it is just a greeting, dont reply to it!". 2. German/Slavs: "You are not my friend, dont ask it!" 3. Latins "You know, ill tell you about my life even if you dont ask for it!"
The question is just a formality to us, Anglos. We do want to make friends, but we would ask different questions for that.
In my US job we had a guy come from the Germany branch to work on a project. After a few days, he came up to me in a panic and asked “When someone says ‘what’s up?’ what am I supposed to say??” lol
Well ... would you mind sharing the answer with me? What do you respond to "what's up"? :D
@@papaya8634 Well...you can say "not much." or "Not much, how about you?"
But even better, you can just say "What's up?" back to them without answering, and no one will care lol
@@RoboBoddicker Got it, thank you :D
wazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz upppppppppppppppppppp
@@papaya8634 hi do you mind practicing German with me , I am Diana by the way
As a Serbian, when working with Americans who always start with hi, how are you.... I always lag a little, because I know its just a greeting but then it bugs me because its a question to which we can tell a story depending on the day XD
Haha, I know this feeling :D
Do they want a reply? Like "Good" or do they just want u to ignore it completley?
@@rainsara2795 usually just a short response like:
"Good"
"Okay"
"Not so great"
"It's been rough, but I'm here"
"A little tired"
If they are interested they will ask what's new? Or what's going on?
Just don't. You will regret it. The answer is, "Fine, and you?"
Glad his hamster is okay
RIGHT? Hello fellow animal lover who actually discarded the blabbers of the rude person immediately to properly listen to the worries of the person who was prompted to talk by a complete stranger! XD
Yes poor hamster. I would have listened patiently to the man so that I could then ask him if the hamster OK.
Haahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahaha
Best comment everrr!!!!!
No but seriously now, I'm glad his hamster is okay too!♡
Hi Becky, How are you ?
:DD
Here in Brazil it's just like:
-hey, how are you?
-Hi, how are you?
And then both go away
Waving and shouting from the other side of the street even
@@brisa4319 yeaaah!! I love this cause we don't need to literally answer them
Exactly! Hahaha. But I like to ask people how they are and I would like them to answer honestly, even though most of the time I just hear "I'm fine". Haha
Same here in United States. 👍🏽
Same is Australia if it’s someone in passing or a cashier that you don’t know very well, as a greeting. But if it’s some one you know well then it’s a genuine conversation starter.
Joey Tribiani would probably have to change his pickup line in Germany
LOL 😆
They should just stop asking, if they are not actually interested.
No, see, in America you're rude if you don't ask. But you are also obligated to say some variation of "fine, thanks". They have to ask how you are, but if the answer is anything other than "fine", then it is rude not to lie.
@@d.lan3y they ask and i answer. What is wrong, when i say 'it's not fine?'
Or i don't unterstand you. My English is not the best xD.
@@AB-pp8wh it's just a weird cultural thing. Honestly, it's annoying. It's polite to ask, but people tend to think you're over-sharing if you answer honestly. It's just the kind of thing you eventually get used to.
People should be better at understanding social cues. Accept that it’s used as a greeting and move on.
@@d.lan3y I've noticed this about you Americans that you say such things which don't make sense to most of the people from Europe. I do understand that it's your culture, but to be honest, I think it's a bit superficial. I mean like you're forced to be nice to strangers even though you may not feel like that. I personally see sincerity as something important, so if you don't care about someone, you shouldn't ask them how they are if you don't mean it. But it's just my opinion, so I don't want to offend anyone. Have a nice day.
I feel like people in general are throwing around that question relentlessly without thinking even once about what they're actually asking. Everyone should think twice about whether they care how the other person is feeling and preferrably use a different phrase if you just want to say hello. I know from own experience that getting that question from people, when you're feeling depressed for example, can feel very hurtful because you know they don't mean it and they most likely don't want to hear about it.
However, I do think that the pandemic and this super long lockdown has changed people's mentality a little bit when it comes to that specific question, not assuming that everyone is "great" anymore and being more willing to listen also to the negative responses. The standard answer (atleast from my experience) has changed from "great" to "ok" or "hanging in there" due to the current situation.
So, all in all I hope and I believe that people will be more caring and open to listen to the truthful answers to this question.
I do hope you are doing fine, and this week brings some hope for us Berliners since we are now allowed to start doing outdoor events. Hope to see you around! 😄
konntest du nicht besser sagen! :) hope you're doing well too!
@@diemaria456 Thank you! 😊 I'm doing alright and I have started "getting used to" how the world works now but I don't like it and I miss the true Berlin. 🥺
Great point Angelica
Genau so ist es!
👏👏👏
This is logic: An answer to a question. I love Germans for this and the fact that their language is also literal (phonetic) like you pronounce what you write. Transparency all the way 100%.
Except for the umlauts. I know hatdly any non native speaker who does not struggle with the pronounciation.
@@nic969 Ä, Ö, Ü - these sounds are not too hard to pronounce. But I've seen most foreign speakers struggling with CH, SCH and EU.
@Κύριλλος XD
Yeap and nope.
@@nic969 I'm a non-native - sort of - speaker xD with no problems whatsoever with the German pronunciation. The only inconvenient is that I don't have much memorized vocabulary to show off my incredibly super-duper pronunciation skills that I blame on my "musical" ear and vocal control ;) x') I'm working on increasing my vocabulary, langsam langsam aber siecher =)
This made me burst out laughing as my German friend gets annoyed when they ask me how I am and I give a casual response instead of going into minute detail about how I really am.
Thats why we never ask "how are you?" as a greeting in Germany. We are never ok.
Klaar, frendo.
hahahhahaha
Nobody ever is, except happy kids... adulthood is a warpath where everyone of us gets his own kind of injuries...
So, "wie geht es dir/Ihnen" and "was ist los?" are kaput?
@@not-high-on-life Insightful metaphor.
As a British person, I find being asked how I am and asking other people how they are exhausting. We all know we're just going to say "fine thanks"!
Yep, I hate it in the emails!
We do the same thing in South Africa
British person here, where I am we say ‘ye alright?’ And it’s never seen as anything other than to mean hi. Doesn’t even require a fine thanks, usually the other person says ‘ye alright?’ back 😅
As a non-British person I've always been taken aback when British people ask me if I am all right. I get the idea now but my paranoid self is always wondering - do I look like I'm not all right? I like the buffer of the pleasantry before entering into live conversation - it lets you gauge if now is a good time for a chat or not.
In Russia usually people answer something like "normal'no" Like norm but if u insist they will tell their full lifetime story))
I'm not even German but this is how I answer when someone ask "How are you?", like, if you don't care at all, why do you even ask? Just say hi and that's it... it doesn't make sense.
How are you?
So if someone says to you “hey, what’s up” what do you answer 😂 “well the sun is up”? Lmao
It's just a cultural thing. In some English speaking countries such as the USA or Australia we say "How are you?" (in Britain "are you alright?") not expecting an actual response, and we don't expect them to expect an actual response when we're asked. We don't hear "How are you?" we hear "Hello :)"
Just a very friendly cultural greeting
@@hattiedunham8866 hi
Not everything is to be taken literally. "How are you" is literally just another way of saying "hello"
In Serbia, the question "How are you" is treated basically as French "ca va". But if somebody asks you: "What's new with/at you?", which happens all the time, they actually crave for longer conversation and expect something substantial to hear.
Greetings to you in Serbia. I will now read Ezekiel 37 🙂
What does Ezekiel 37 tell you?
@@KingsDaughter. Hello! It gives me a reason to live. Without it, I wouldn't have known what is the purpose of life and what I am fighting for.
@@ezekiel3791 Amen 😃 and bless you!
I always thought im a introvert, but i see im really a german.
That’s beautiful
😂
😂😂😂
I'm Polish and that's how I used to answer "How are you?" until one rude British lady made me aware it wasn't the correct answer 😅
if you live in england I feel sorry for you...
It says a lot about the English. Say one thing think another.
@@ittisjartam8913 yes but when you get a little bit closer to them some will tell you all their troubles in detail including which type of antidepressants they're currently taking. Which is unthinkable in Poland
I'm Italian and when I lived in England it was just clear to me that "how are you?" was not a real question, because it is the same here. It just means... I want to be nice to you. If we really want to know if the person is ok, we would ask a more personal question... example: "you look tired, everything ok?". But then expect a detailed answer. I had pretty much the same experience in the UK.
Ouch
A young Swiss man telling me about his reaction to people in the US saying "Hello, how are you?" upon meeting him, a tourist:
In his head: _That's none of your business, I don't know you, leave me alone, why are you asking me that?_
Yesss this exactly hahaha
British or Canadian: “How are you?”
German: don’t talk to me
Russian: how dare you talk to me
I came to Ireland and people were saying "How are ya" to say hello in passing and I was always so confused because I thought they wanted to start a conversation, so I would stop and say "I'm well thank you" and as I was asking "and how are you?" They were already walking past me like I didn't exist 🤣 I was so damn confused for a good month or so hahaha
Yes I had the same! A cashier at the supermarket asked me how I am and I answered that "I'm fine, and you?" and she was so confused 😂
Zahyra94 - My friend immigrated to Ireland from Russia. He experienced the same confusion initially when strangers in the street would smile and say 'How are ya' and he would think, 'Do I know you?' Eventually he adapted - but on subsequent visits to Germany and Belgium was almost arrested when he greeted local police this way.
@@racheleraanan5133 almost arrested?? Dayum!
Yes, I'm from Northern Ireland and we say, "alright mate, how's it going?" "what's the craic?", "what's happening?" etc. We don't really want an answer beyond, "it's all good mate", "not bad" etc haha. Don't get offended
It's a thing here in Australia and NZ as well haha😅. It's used more of a greeting if you're walking or doing anything if its not part of a serious conversation. Personally I hate asking people "How are u" as a greeting, I just say " good morning", evening, afternoon or sup. Just smile, nod and continue walking 👣...
how are you?
what germans hear: what is your opinion on how the politicians handle the pandemic? u like to wear masks?
And don't forget the weather🤣
if you're asking this another student, they hear: "What bullshit did your teachers do today and what's the newest drama?" and I'm hear for it.
what germans hear: "how are you"
what americans hear: "hello"
I've heard that unlike us Americans, Germans will actually say how they're doing when you ask. I hope to visit someday
@joe Papilo lo wow did you learn that at school?
@joe Papilo lo if you're tired of them... why do you keep on asking them?
@@marioluigi9599 you make no sense, go back to elementary school and learn English please
@@anguineus_vir excuse you?
That was one of the first lessons when I took German, since you start with simple things like greetings.
This is refreshing. In Scotland we say "I'm fine" no matter whats going on. 😁
omg I've talked to german people and they literally do this, someone even showed me their bank account. 😂 and yeah they talk a lot 😂 but it's good because we had a lot to talk about. no dull moment ✨
@Hi there yeah it was just like talking to a friend I haven't seen in months. I got really comfortable talking to them after a while. They also share things about life in Germany, I've learned a lot from them. 🥰
It's you guys who are the weird ones, not the germans. Its WEIRD and self serving to ask someone "how are you doing" and not actually want a response, americans are the weird ones. If you ask someone a question of course they'll actually tell you. Its just a cultural difference.
@@TamuTamuOnigiri It's not really weird, it's just a linguistic difference. "How are you?" in English and German mean different things, in German it's a proper question, whereas in English it's more of a conversational filler, similar to "hello". Even then, though, Americans don't always just respond with the usual "Good, and you?".
@@TamuTamuOnigiri usually, when I talk to other foreign people they use that as a conversation starter. Even some Germans just say "I'm fine" after I ask them how they are, and then we proceed to the actual conversation, if that makes sense.
Will never understand why you ask strangers how are you. That is such a deep question.
So yeah, this video is correct :D
Now I realize why germans don't ask too many questions.
Vivaldi's Summer presto really added to the drama! What a clever and beautiful choice! Excellent!
I 💯 relate as a Russian
We are quite as Germans in this sense. Actually in many senses.
absolutely :D
@@ernsthornostaiev5534 I heard Russians also love to speak about Politics alot? We Germans too. The Belgians - I live in Belgium since my childhood - actually really don't.
@@Spinnradler I actually live in Kiev, Ukraine. No, ordinary Russians are not much into politics, but nowadays it became impossible to avoid it. Politics is everywhere.
как дело дорого ?
"Asshole" is exactly the right response for anyone who asks a question like "How are you?" But doesn't actually care. There are plenty of ways to greet somebody... Don't choose the one phrase that pretends like you care but you don't really care. It's unnecessary and dishonest.
It's kinda like greeting in some places , it reflects how polite someone is , you aren't forced to respond back and whatever . Just be nice to someone who atleast cared to ask you . you must really have a sad life if you are that offended by someone asking how you are . It is a small way for starting a convo not a therapy session lol . It doesn't hurt to be nice sometimes .
@@afshanoorulain7360 Nothing kind about asking per se. In cases like this it is self-serving. The origin of politeness is the opposite of kindness, it separated the classes. Knowlegde that diffuses the means of language occupy the reason to use it as a way of transitioning "organically".
Just as you using another greetings, it's a cultural tradition and you have to respect that too. It's not like we never care about how someone is, it's just we know when someone is actually asking because of their wording or context. It's not that deep. Either ways, if someone answers "not so well", I highly doubt anyone would just ignore that. You don't have to be dishonest when someone asks, no one is forcing you to lie. But it's also true that you don't know everyone's time, you don't know if they're busy, if they have something to do, so why would someone answer with such a loooong answer if the one asking is a stranger? Just get used to the whole world not working as yours.
Yes, Thanx !
@Brandi Covey But usually people just say "I'm fine, thanks, and you" then you say "I'm fine too, thanks." And nobody ever ACTUALLY talks about ANYTHING.
something my Portuguese teacher taught me is: when they ask you "how are you" they don't actually wanna know are you, they're just being polite, so no matter what, always reply positively even if you're lying, just to be polite
First day of my high school German class. We learned "wie geht's ", then were promptly told never to use it. Unless, of course, you wanted a huge, in-depth answer.
My German friends were taught that if you ask it in English, be perpared for people to not actually care or answer lol
Yeah, you can ruin some Germans days with it. Asking how you are shows empathic interest in someone and if you just ignore the genuine answer then you are more than rude.
Can't really imagine some countires use it as a greeting..
Yes, it's true. Germans can't small talk 🤣😅
i as a german can confirm. I hate small talk lmao
Its a plus, in italy small talk is a national sport, a friendly but sneaky way to know your business
Hehe they'll love my mom
I'm german and i hate smalltalk.
@@xyzz232 same
Aww man, how is your hamster doing after his heart operation? :o
😂😂😂 🐹 I like hamster, do you like hamster too? Actually I am more into bunnies .... ahhhh, and I saw that funny husky yesterday, do you like huskies? Sorry got lost, where did we start? 😆
@@rebelheart3840 Haha yes to all of it!! :D
@@rebelheart3840 there’s bunnies by my parking at work.
@@jellifirelli5953 😂👍🏻
@@windowsxp9120 wow👏🏻 🐰 👍🏻😂
in Malaysia, if someone asked you, just answer generally, "good" "it's okay" "I'm fine" if you don't want to tell them your problem, but when you answered "it's not good" or "it's bad" it's equivalent of asking for help indirectly and we will listen and try to help.
That's cool
That’s my experience of what happens in my social circle, and I’m an American (Baltimore). I may ask people I don’t know how they are doing, and I may expect a short answer, but if they tell me more, I’m usually happy to hear about their life. If they’re not doing well, I sympathize or help if I can.
Yeah general rule is to say it's okay, but if you want someone to listen to your problems, you say its not going so well.
Actually, it's the other way around. As Ukrainian living in Germany, I usually answer in a more or less honest manner. It seems to be very unusual here and I have the feeling that no one expects me to do so.
When, in turn, I ask Germans, they just answer "good" 95% of the time. Very frustrating and just boring.
😂 Lived here since 8yrs and my observation is a German will open up to a fellow German when asked, how are you? Speak genuinely from the heart. But when a foreigner looking individual asks, foreign by accent or skin colour it's the opposite. They coil up like a millipede/centipede, so reserved to foreigners especially if your country doesn't match up to theirs.
@@kayizziritah3029It is vice versa. 😉
This isn’t really a “german” thing, it’s more a “give a shi*” thing using the basic assumption that the person asking is sincere .. healthy people don’t go around assuming the worst of others, and why wouldn’t someone be at least interested to hear about a person. It’s only due to the western/anglicised/american superficial attitude to everything that has permeated into relationships that it’s now obvious how oblivious some people move through their life.
I grew up in UK, but lived in Germany most of my life. The fakeness called “politeness” is excruciating and why the UK has a disastrous mental health, addiction and abuse predicament. If people knew how to communicate sincerely it would make things much easier. What I learned in Germany is that a huge story as depicted here just shows a person that wants to communicate and it’s quite likely they expect you to share in a similar manner. It’s def not one sided.
this is super accurate. also it's a privilege when people share what's actually going on in their lives with you rather than fobbing you off with platitudes and merits actually listening to and making an attempt at empathy in return. anglo culture is indeed pathologically shallow in its lack of sincerity as you rightly point out.
I'm German but have lived in the UK for an extended period of time. German culture is SO much better when it comes to talking about actual issues; normally the English will change the subject as soon as it gets too personal or uncomfortable, so nothing is really resolved and people just suffer in silence. It's messed up and unhealthy.
sir this is a Wendy
You are spot on. I am german but I do spend a lot of time online and know a lot of people from the UK. And BOY OH BOY....I have had some issues over the years simply cos I always felt that everything was so fucking superficial and no one really cared about the deeper issues and always tried to avoid them. I always wanted to confront things in order to SOLVE issues, but jfc, british people seem to get PTSD when it comes to confronting ANYTHING, "confrontation" is such a negative thing associated with trouble and problems and I just dont get it. Yes, it IS a bit of work,but the intention behind it is to SOLVE the problems at hand and move on from them? Suffering in silence is just not an option to me,cos it just eats you up. I also find it interesting that you link this to addiction and abuse, I never thought about it this way. But it does seem like a lot, and i mean A LOT of people in the UK (even your friendly,unsuspecting neighbour in his 40s or 50s) will casually sniff cocaine and other drugs and I have always found this so weird. Maybe there really is a connection.
@@faliandra7659 wow, really interesting
Here in Ireland we say...
"Hows she cuttin ? "
"How's it hangin ?"
"How are ye now ?"
"How are ye keepin ?"
And one of my favourites...
"Whats the story ?"
And if you engage us in conversation, ya better have a packed lunch... 🙄😂
😎👍☘🍺
Well if one is literally asking for a story, it only makes sense if the other one narrates in reply😄
I'm American from the northeast US and I used to hear "How's it hangin?" and "What's the story?" all the time. Still use them myself to this day. My family's heritage is Irish and I grew up in a community with a lot of other Irish-Americans in the suburbs of Boston. "How's it goin?" and "What's up, kid?" were probably used the most overall, though. The latter being used for people you knew well. If we actually wanted to know how the other was doing, we'd usually do a doubling up of two of these phrases or a "What's goin on? How ya been?" after the initial "greeting" that sounds like a question.
I would actually enjoy people telling me about their life. I dont like asking "how are you?" for nothing.
As an American, I think this isn’t just about not wanting to hear other people’s problems. We’re all kind of trained to keep our struggles to ourself. “I’m good thanks” becomes our default because we don’t want to put our pain on other people. So it can feel strange when someone breaks that mold because that level of transparency feels unfamiliar. Just my take
Well, bottling things up is toxic and mentally unhealthy. It also makes people feel isolated with their own problems. Maybe this time around Americans could borrow from other cultures and start breaking the mold when it comes to how this question works like ? Well, you might try, probably could have positive effects on mental health in current socio-economic context.
Which I find is very good. This is actually a very good thing the way you have mentioned it.
Actually this is the good scenario. The worst would be they would tense up and get suspicious and it all gets awkward and then you want to die. After 13 years in Germany I learned the hard way and now I just go „na..?“. I just CAN‘T not ask someone how they are!!
"Na?" is a really good question to be asked instead. This would trigger a way shorter answer.
You can ask if you genuinely mean it.
Your further tips would be helpful my friend, as I plan to fly there someday.
I think "wie läuft's?" is also a good question if you don't want to hear more than a sentence. Usually people answer something like "Läuft gut" or a more neutral answer "Joa, läuft" or when they're feeling not so good "Läuft nicht so" or "Läuft rückwärts und bergab, aber läuft" and it's up to you whether you ask further questions or not. 😅
As a german I can tell you, this is accurate, though a bit overdramatic. You can answer honestly but still on a superficial level like "So - so, rough day". If the person who asked is interested in finding out more details, they can show interest and dig deeper and ask. You don't really need to tell a whole essay.
The point is...they are not even interested in So-so. LG aus Canada. Be well.😉
To be honest, this is one thing I do like about here. The first time I wanted to practice my German (after two classes 😂) I asked and old lady in front of my apartment „wie geht’s?“ and she literally stopped and started talking to me about her day.
That was amazing, even if I got nothing of what she said. At first I thought she was just lonely and wanted to talk, but it happened to me more times and then I got it was a cultural thing.
Now I know we are fake af in that aspect because we don’t really care about the rest. It is the same exact situation but it goes like
- Hi, how are you?
- Good, and you?
- good, thanks.
Second option:
- Hi, how are you?
- Actually, not that good
- ... panics in Latin... (Oh God, he/she will tell me how he/she really is. Fuck, I am late, arrrrgggggg, I should not have asked)
Next time dont ask How are you . Instead you should just say• Guten Tag! thats the right phrase.
@@taniakrause9253 I had been learning for two days German, so I didn’t know much by then. Now I can proudly ask because at least I can have a conversation 😅.
In India, if an unknown person asks you 'How are you?' Please run. They just want your money.
You ask a question, you get an answer 🤷♂️ Just don’t ask if you don’t care.
totally agree
I don't think I can relate as an Italian. Here, if I ask "how are you?" people response with their problems, explaining everything
As an Italian, not me xD I always say 'good, thanks'
Beh, dipende tanto dalla situazione
@Certyfikowany Przewracacz Hulajnóg Elektrycznych tanto = a lot
Same in Poland. You might get more details then you expect.
@@andreabruni1997 Appunto pk ad esempio se veramente sto male oppure ho passato una situazione difficile nel ultimo periodo racconto tutto. Ma se sto bene dico solo “bene, grazie”
I ain't even German but this doesn't bother me one bit. It would actually be nice. I dislike doing the false greetings.