Sentenced to Torturous Christian Extremist Boarding School for 365 days

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  • Опубликовано: 7 июн 2024
  • The troubled teen industry has been in the limelight lately for its more than questionable tactics to “reform” kids. Add in a heavy dose of religious extremism and you have the sometimes fatal Independent Fundamental Baptist all-girl’s school Ashley attended. The most common sentence was 1 year of brutal manual labor, peer-inflicted punishments and psychological warfare.
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    Chapter Markers
    00:00:00 Intro
    00:03:37 How did Ashley's family become involved in the church?
    00:06:27 Why Ashley got sent to the girl's boarding school
    00:07:48 How did the rules change after joining the IFB?
    00:09:59 Boarding school expectations vs reality...
    00:15:05 Ashley's game plan for survival
    00:18:47 "The Get Right Room"
    00:21:03 Ashley's shame and guilt
    00:26:24 How the parents were also manipulated
    00:29:09 TW: Mentions of su*cide and de@th
    00:30:33 What did Ashley learn in school?
    00:31:20 Were there other IFB schools?
    00:38:59 Forgetting the IFB school
    00:41:25 How was Ashley changed after boarding school?
    00:43:52 Survivor's Prom
    00:49:18 Holding space for yourself
    00:57:42 What brings Ashley peace and joy now?
    01:04:00 Linda, listen!
    Theme Song Produced and Composed by Christian Guevara
    *Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.*

Комментарии • 748

  • @TirraOmilade
    @TirraOmilade Месяц назад +557

    Survival responses = freeze, flight, fight and fawn. Being a goodie to survive is in fact a survival response.

    • @BobbiGail
      @BobbiGail Месяц назад +22

      My life in a comment. Right there.

    • @kirbysthiccthighs
      @kirbysthiccthighs Месяц назад +20

      this. it took me far too long to realize this. i always thought my freeze and fawn responses were invalid, but they’re very much valid- they just aren’t talked about enough, and that’s really dangerous.

    • @BobbiGail
      @BobbiGail Месяц назад +16

      @merulaamethyst2248 oh my goodness, I have a friend in similar shoes and the stories are horrible. As a now almost senior adult she is finally realizing that her mom is WRONG. My heart goes to you and my hope is that you find yourself outside of the lies of your "mother." You. Are. MORE than Enough!

    • @Exiled.New.Yorker
      @Exiled.New.Yorker Месяц назад

      Known factor. Google "jewish ghetto police".

    • @CarolynandherClothes
      @CarolynandherClothes Месяц назад +10

      💯. None of this is your fault. You did what you had to do survive.

  • @deborahborne4861
    @deborahborne4861 Месяц назад +209

    As a little girl in the 50's I remember a series of Christian pamphlets for children called "Little Debbie" about a sweet little godly child who was always cheerful and always talking about Jesus and witnessing to people about the Lord. This fictional character caused me so much guilt and shame because I knew I could never be that good. As an adult I tried to find copies of these pamphlets and I did, but guess what?? They were called "Little Susie"!! My name is Debbie. WOW! I sure did internalize them.

  • @lizadeeza
    @lizadeeza Месяц назад +322

    Turning victims into perpetrators is so gross.

    • @tennillepatterson5500
      @tennillepatterson5500 Месяц назад +14

      Persecution of the persecuted, victims victimizing victims. Seems inhumane, but it's all too human.

    • @Bubba.mitchell4603
      @Bubba.mitchell4603 Месяц назад +10

      That’s how bullying starts

    • @Neku628
      @Neku628 Месяц назад

      It just sounds like something a murderer like Theresa Knorr and several other so-called parents have done to their own kids and other kids that they were put in charge of.

    • @PinkFluf
      @PinkFluf Месяц назад +9

      ​@@Bubba.mitchell4603 right, I was going to say sometimes it happens without trying. In that case, I'd rather grow up feeling like a victim/survivor who needs to heal, than to grow up to become the perpetrator.

    • @achillpill9700
      @achillpill9700 Месяц назад +2

      Especially under the guise of salvation. Just pure evil and torture.

  • @Spmama444
    @Spmama444 Месяц назад +244

    “We can never compare our traumas because just because something wasn’t seen as bad as someone else had it, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hugely affective in our life”

    • @MimiDidi121
      @MimiDidi121 Месяц назад

      True!

    • @emmad.176
      @emmad.176 Месяц назад

      That's very well said!

    • @Spmama444
      @Spmama444 Месяц назад

      @@emmad.176 that was her quote!!!!

  • @Mila808g
    @Mila808g Месяц назад +57

    At one point, Ashley mentions having to routinely switch bedrooms at the facility but doesn't know the reason behind the rule. It's done this way for multiple reasons. A bedroom is a haven to most kids. It's a safe place. It's a comforting retreat. It's something to look forward to. It's privacy. It's home. And they wanted to disrupt that sense of comfort. They didn't want those girls setting down any sort of roots.

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад

      This definitely checks out. They routinely did things to make us feel unsafe and forget who we were.

    • @TrulyMadlyShallowly
      @TrulyMadlyShallowly Месяц назад +2

      That is a tale as old as time. My mom, who is past 70, was in a Catholic boarding school. Diaries were forbidden, the only privacy was curtains. But closing them was frowned upon, especially when there was another person there.

    • @alexwyatt2911
      @alexwyatt2911 29 дней назад +2

      This was precisely my thought when she said they moved rooms all the time.

    • @dancingnature
      @dancingnature 22 дня назад +2

      That’s explains a lot , my narcissistic mother used rearrange my room when I wasn’t home. She’d claim that she was looking for drugs and she’d destroy cherished possessions and clothes. I don’t take drugs I was severely depressed mainly because of my parents continual emotional abuse.

  • @1ccTooTall
    @1ccTooTall Месяц назад +146

    Regarding trauma comparison: I’ve had people tell me that their back hurts then immediately backtrack, “But I shouldn’t complain because you live with so much worse.” My response? Just because I’m hurting doesn’t mean your hurt doesn’t matter. Same thing goes for trauma.

    • @Exiled.New.Yorker
      @Exiled.New.Yorker Месяц назад +6

      Ive often thought that some of that comes from so many of us not being taken seriously as underage reporters, so we get really hung up in displaying our wounds to ensure we're taken seriously.

    • @Bubba.mitchell4603
      @Bubba.mitchell4603 Месяц назад +2

      Exactly

    • @MaineCoonMama18
      @MaineCoonMama18 Месяц назад +11

      Yeah, it bothers me to see other people invalidate either others' or their own experiences by comparing. Comparing trauma, experiences and feelings is not useful or healthy for anyone. Sharing, relating and trying to understand are very helpful. They can look a bit similar, but they feel very different.

    • @OriginalContent89
      @OriginalContent89 Месяц назад +5

      I wish more people thought like that. People need to stop competeing in the pain/trauma olympics and just accept that everyone's feelings are valid

    • @unicorn-glasses
      @unicorn-glasses Месяц назад +4

      Yes! I have a pretty extensive trauma history and multiple mental illnesses and it honestly breaks my heart every time my partner or one of my very few close friends (the only people other than my therapist who knows about most/all of my traumas) vents about something they're struggling with and then apologizes for venting because "I know you've been through much worse, I have no reason to complain about this." Trauma, pain, stress, etc is all relative. If my friend or partner is breaking down because they got fired from their job, they are feeling just as much pain in that moment as I did when I experienced what is considered "valid" trauma. If your world is falling apart, your world is falling apart. Doesn't matter what that looks like.
      When I was in the psychiatric hospital as a teenager there was one doctor who asked me to tell my "story" of how I ended up there to the group. I didn't care because I didn't really feel anything. But I realized years later that the way it was done, he wanted a few of the other kids, one in particular, to basically feel grateful that they weren't in my position and stop "acting out" or whatever. At the time it was kind of nice to be able to talk about what was going on with me. Now I feel disgusted. No one's trauma is invalid just because someone went through something that many people consider to be worse/more traumatic.

  • @user-fy4uv9wb7o
    @user-fy4uv9wb7o Месяц назад +34

    prolonged solitary confinement is a violation of human rights

  • @greenliter1
    @greenliter1 Месяц назад +108

    “You don’t need physical abuse to experience trauma and abuse, it’s very real”….well. That one hurt so good.

  • @maryestes9584
    @maryestes9584 Месяц назад +114

    Omg! Someone needs to investigate and follow up on the girl stuck in the “Get Right Room” for a year!

    • @southbug27
      @southbug27 Месяц назад +30

      A prison couldn’t legally do that to someone who was the most violent criminal, murderer, like a cartel member or terrorist, but a “Christian” school for troubled teens can do that? Hell no, we need to know if that girl is even still alive. The scumbags who think they represent God while doing this will be in for a shock when they are face to face with God.

    • @MsKMX5
      @MsKMX5 Месяц назад +24

      Found news about this school online, as she mentioned the city, Jay FL. It closed in 2013.

    • @TheHookahSmokingCaterpillar
      @TheHookahSmokingCaterpillar Месяц назад

      Good! ​@@MsKMX5

    • @SmellyMellyization
      @SmellyMellyization Месяц назад +7

      @@MsKMX5 Thank goodness!

    • @kymfrancis4612
      @kymfrancis4612 Месяц назад +3

      Especially when she was in the “get right room” for 367 days in a year🤯surely she went home at some point in that time.

  • @antoniokinsey4041
    @antoniokinsey4041 Месяц назад +83

    She is very articulate and well spoken while describing a fuster cluck of a horrific life experience.

  • @cpyle55
    @cpyle55 Месяц назад +120

    Thank you for the victim talk, because even at 70, I have trouble accepting that I
    was a victim during my childhood because I don’t want to be seen as one. I’ve put on a front my whole adulthood to prove I’m okay, I survived hell and don’t need others to acknowledge it. I now hope to be able to tell at least one of my friends the truth of my childhood. My kids have no idea, and I can’t see myself telling them, but maybe I can write it down.

    • @CultstoConsciousness
      @CultstoConsciousness  Месяц назад +13

      Wow, this is so powerful. Thank you for sharing that.❤️

    • @naomigordon1670
      @naomigordon1670 Месяц назад +22

      Please tell your story to someone. Please speak your truth.. if not to family or friends, maybe to a therapist or even a complete stranger.. write.. make it anonymous if you want/need to, but get it out.. our secrets make us sick.. you deserve to heal just as much as anyone else ❤️‍🩹

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад +6

      Thank you so much for sharing that with me. I understand your struggle as you know. I highly suggest sharing. You have nothing to lose and the magic happens once you step outside your comfort zone. You're worth it and you are even stronger than you realize 🫶🏻

    • @jillstanton9974
      @jillstanton9974 Месяц назад +2

      You are in the same age group as me so even though my parents weren't religious we were still told not to talk about what went on at home.
      My father was alcohol dependent and we weren't allowed to tell anyone.

    • @user-nz1me4dy9s
      @user-nz1me4dy9s Месяц назад +5

      You are a survivor not a victim ❤

  • @muliefriend4785
    @muliefriend4785 Месяц назад +127

    Thank you for exposing these mentally deranged cults.

    • @juliej5917
      @juliej5917 Месяц назад

      I have a mini mule named Mulie! 😂🫏

  • @Langwidere903
    @Langwidere903 Месяц назад +130

    I’m a survivor of the troubled teen industry, and while my programs weren’t based in religion, we definitely had similarities with this. We weren’t allowed to speak to each other at all, no physical contact, no contact with our parents, and we had to be within sight of staff at all times. Like her, we didn’t get to wear our own clothes or have personal items. It’s so dehumanizing. Thank you Ashley, for courageously sharing your story, and thank you Shelise for giving TTI survivors a platform💗

    • @CultstoConsciousness
      @CultstoConsciousness  Месяц назад +20

      ❤️ we plan on doing more in this genre

    • @nomadicam
      @nomadicam Месяц назад +14

      I'm in LA currently and would do an interview. I was at Spring Creek Lodge, a wwasp program (that's the org featured in the Netflix documentary) +raised Mormon.​@@CultstoConsciousness

    • @petalchild
      @petalchild Месяц назад

      ​@@CultstoConsciousnessIf you haven't already, please reach out to Emily Harper! She's a RUclipsr who was sent to a school for troubled girls and has talked about how much of a cult it was.

    • @greendragon4058
      @greendragon4058 Месяц назад +3

      I'm so glad you're out and I hope you heal sending you lots of healing vibes❤❤❤

    • @Volleyball_Chess_and_Geoguessr
      @Volleyball_Chess_and_Geoguessr Месяц назад

      So what is the answer then, of what people should have done?

  • @rebeccamouse9294
    @rebeccamouse9294 Месяц назад +24

    The FBI needs to investigate them and arrest people.

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад +3

      Mike Palmer was arrested but he’s dead now. The school was shut down by the state.

  • @Geoplanetjane
    @Geoplanetjane Месяц назад +49

    The person who is out there and most visible in dealing with abusive “therapeutic schools” is Paris Hilton.

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад

      Yes. She is the largest advocate for TTI schools.

  • @OriginalContent89
    @OriginalContent89 Месяц назад +99

    I don't understand the mentality of the parents that send their kids to these places. How do you just send your kid away, knowing nothing about how things are done or the conditions their kids are living in, while having absolutely no contact with your child for weeks or months at a time? You can't trust just anyone with your child. That sounds like straight up negligence to me.

    • @SmellyMellyization
      @SmellyMellyization Месяц назад +3

      This was my thought exactly! I would never ever send my child somewhere that I had not fully vetted and had not fully vetted the staff and made multiple visits to. And even then...

    • @ashleya6061
      @ashleya6061 Месяц назад +9

      Survivor of the troubled teen industry. In my case, I had parents that were so desperate to not parent and get rid of their child - they were happy to spread lies about me. Tens of thousands of dollars of therapy and I still have panic attacks almost 20 years later. How this is legal, I'll never understand.

    • @lisadann6736
      @lisadann6736 Месяц назад +2

      I can't imagine even contemplating sending my child somewhere that they couldn't contact me if something was wrong. The amount of trauma that could ( and probably did for most kids that went there) be caused in that time combined with the sense of abandonment they'd feel. I felt bad enough leaving mine for kinder. This should be criminal.

    • @achillpill9700
      @achillpill9700 Месяц назад +1

      Right? Even the secular, non-religious camps such as these are awful. These are extreme versions of them, and they are already horrific.

    • @leahwestrum6875
      @leahwestrum6875 27 дней назад

      If you have to send your child away to a place like this because ‘they are beyond unruly’, then you should have not had children in the first damn place!!

  • @barbarabornholdt2854
    @barbarabornholdt2854 Месяц назад +60

    Learning about us women who were autisic or adhd since birth but just punished into hating themselves and never understood with compassion. Any self soothing is turned into an issue. I was just diagnosed at 45 and am seeing so much now.

    • @chaoticneutralsheep
      @chaoticneutralsheep Месяц назад +7

      Always makes me happy to see other autistic people, I was diagnosed young but only recently realised I have selective mutism, hope you can continue to self soothe and do what brings you joy.❤

    • @WillowT442
      @WillowT442 Месяц назад +7

      I was also diagnosed with adhd later as a female. My parents treated me like I was friends with the devil. Instead of taking me or my brothers with adhd to doctors or psychologists they saw us as sinners and bad kids. They also talked to pastors a lot. Consequently all of us no longer go to church and all of us no longer associate with them. They cannot figure out why. Instead of trying to find out they act like they are the victims and only pray. My mom puts her “relationship” with church, church members and God above the relationship with her children and grandchildren.

    • @siphonophorespiral
      @siphonophorespiral Месяц назад +4

      ​@@chaoticneutralsheep Hi!!!! I'm also autistic and selectively mute! It's so nice to see another person like me here.

    • @brooke_reiverrose2949
      @brooke_reiverrose2949 Месяц назад +8

      Being diagnosed with Autism late is a big reason why I relate to cult survivors so much. The being bullied into conformity for ridiculous reasons, getting new information and all of a sudden seeing everything completely differently, having to unpack all your beliefs about yourself and society and the world… the realization that you are not a bad person you were just treated terribly…

    • @Exiled.New.Yorker
      @Exiled.New.Yorker Месяц назад +4

      Im not autistic, but as a different kind of neuroatypical, im glad someone finally gave you the answer you needed.

  • @PaulaW-wq1kh
    @PaulaW-wq1kh Месяц назад +155

    Name and shame...Stop these disgusting Children abusers 🤬😡😡😥😡

    • @TheEnthusiasticHobo
      @TheEnthusiasticHobo Месяц назад +20

      For anyone wondering, it’s genesis by the sea in Florida.

    • @NachosMom
      @NachosMom Месяц назад +10

      @@TheEnthusiasticHobo
      I hope it doesn’t exist now, and they should all be charged with abuse

    • @kittywitty6507
      @kittywitty6507 Месяц назад +3

      Yeah don't tell me these hell holes still exist!😮

    • @TheEnthusiasticHobo
      @TheEnthusiasticHobo Месяц назад +10

      @@NachosMom so after doing a little bit more digging, I guess genesis by the sea was the name for the baja, Mexico location and the Florida location was called lighthouse. If you google it, there’s tons of results that come up including a vice article from 2017 as well as a bunch of articles recounting peoples firsthand experiences there. Additionally, there are quite a few articles that pop up detailing investigations into lighthouse, as well as its founder Michael Palmer, which resulted in the reform school being shut down in 2013.

    • @sarahh6043
      @sarahh6043 Месяц назад +8

      I can’t understand how adults can participate in this and think it’s okay-unless they have no conscience = psychopath

  • @isapheonix
    @isapheonix Месяц назад +67

    For those saying "just get over it" This message is to you. I have been in some trash relationships and followed that exact thought pattern. Just gritting my teeth moving on and not fully processing my pain. I'm now so bitter and jaded and tired I never want to date again. I'm still in my 30s. Just get over it doesn't work. Learn from my mistakes.

    • @sherrita80548
      @sherrita80548 Месяц назад +7

      I would get the same thing about my depression by my ex husband I feel the same way you do but I am 43 I don't know if it's fear of getting the same type of man or I just really don't want to be in another relationship

    • @isapheonix
      @isapheonix Месяц назад +3

      @sherrita80548 man i have no idea what to do next lol. Hope we can figure it out :)

    • @greg-op2jh
      @greg-op2jh Месяц назад +3

      I am so sorry that someone said that to you. You need to do whatever is best for you. Sending you Love and healing ❤ power to survivors!

    • @brooke_reiverrose2949
      @brooke_reiverrose2949 Месяц назад +4

      Hear hear!! I bought into toxic positivity and it ended up with me just being burnt out and having a harder time unpacking all the trauma I stuffed down for so long.
      You can’t *choose* to move on, you have to be ready.

    • @izzylabor2606
      @izzylabor2606 Месяц назад +1

      Take time to process your feelings. Be angry but not bitter. Continue to work on yourself and love on yourself. You will heal and love again. I promise

  • @dreed1058
    @dreed1058 Месяц назад +57

    It makes me furious that young women are still going thru this type of torture - hate that women throughout the world are still living with shame and remnants of dysfunction. BTW - baby congrats?? 🎉❤ Blessings to you & your guest!!

  • @karenkennedy6331
    @karenkennedy6331 Месяц назад +47

    You can see where Jodi Hilderbrant got a lot of her practices, theses abusive child rearing practices that are in many extreme religious cults.

    • @user-bn2st5kx8h
      @user-bn2st5kx8h Месяц назад +2

      Thats why she seemed to sincerely believe she was doing the right thing ,plus the fact she went overboard to become better than good as if trying to b exemplary to please someone ,plus the pretending that ppl learn in these environments

  • @BrigitteDiessl
    @BrigitteDiessl Месяц назад +24

    People who say, "don't be a victim" don't belong in this comments section or on this channel. The people who come on and share their stories here are so brave and I think they probably help a lot of other people who have been through any sort of trauma, be it religious or otherwise.

  • @jinglebellrock1963
    @jinglebellrock1963 Месяц назад +50

    I'm wondering if Ashley knows what happened to the girl in the get-right room. Was she ever found and did she get help. So heartbreaking. Ashley, you are totally worthy of love and peace and happiness.

    • @soggyfroggy22
      @soggyfroggy22 Месяц назад +14

      Same I can’t stop thinking about what happened to her. I hope she’s doing better, and got help for her trauma.

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад +4

      When you’re in the get right room, you have food and water. A chair to sit on at a desk if you eventually write your lines. You get to leave to use the bathroom and to go to sleep. Then you’re back in the room after chapel. The point is to isolate you all day and break you down until you conform. I was there for 367 days and she was in that room the moment I arrived and the moment I left. I’m not sure what happened to her… I would imagine she ended up writing her lines or giving up and waited to turn 18.

    • @user-nk4jk8qk6f
      @user-nk4jk8qk6f 25 дней назад +2

      Ashley, I attended this school as well in 2001. It altered my whole life and have never been the same since. You say you would have done thing’s differently there now. Well I did and it resulted on me being on buddy for the 1st six months I was there and not even allowed to have a pencil for 9 months. You did what you had to do to survive. Thank you for bringing light to this and the monsters who do this under the name of “Religion”

  • @TirraOmilade
    @TirraOmilade Месяц назад +25

    Witnessing someone who is talking about their trauma is HEALING! Trauma is related to some unprocessed hurt or reflects the inability of a person to take care of themselves or express themselves in the past. Talking about it and receiving compassion and empathy for that past hurt/trauma, is sooooo healing!!!!

  • @joannek9498
    @joannek9498 Месяц назад +46

    My brother was sent to a similar type of place when he was "misbehaving", called The Community. These people run a number of these schools and one of them is in Florida. A very similar type story. It would be really interesting if you did a piece on the Community.
    Love your channel Shelise. You do amazing work 👏 🙌 ❤️ ❤

    • @CultstoConsciousness
      @CultstoConsciousness  Месяц назад +11

      Thank you! We are looking into more troubled teen industry places. If your brother would like to share, he can email us! Cultstoconsciousness@gmail.com

  • @Clara-eu3mp
    @Clara-eu3mp Месяц назад +36

    My cult school had rules about mirrors too. They kept the mirrors in a locked cabinet so we couldn't look at ourselves without permission.

    • @conniereimer7418
      @conniereimer7418 Месяц назад +3

      😮

    • @denz4133
      @denz4133 Месяц назад +3

      Wtf

    • @tanyabrown9839
      @tanyabrown9839 Месяц назад +2

      there may be a double reason why places like this sometimes don't allow mirrors as they can be broken and then used by those who are feeling suicidal. I actually know someone who was confined and smashed a mirror and tried to cut her throat majorly injuring herself.

    • @user-bn7bk5mw4s
      @user-bn7bk5mw4s Месяц назад +1

      My father would accuse me of looking in the rear view car mirror from the backseat. Would also tell me to Dry it up if I cried and I was always supposed to act happy

    • @Clara-eu3mp
      @Clara-eu3mp Месяц назад +1

      ​@@tanyabrown9839 I know that's sometimes the reason, but not in my school. The room where the mirrors were locked up also had a drawer full of razorblades with no lock on it. They didn't even keep count of how many blades were in it or keep track of who went into the room.

  • @J0ELLEx
    @J0ELLEx Месяц назад +6

    My brother is more fundamentalist christian than I'm comfortable with and he still made sure I had vegan food at his wedding

  • @yohanrives3752
    @yohanrives3752 Месяц назад +18

    Why isn't there any laws controling places that welcome children? Those are torture facilities in the name of religion

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад +1

      There are advocates who are working on getting laws passed. Channels like this and sharing it as much as possible, documentaries that have come out, articles being written… it’s all coming to light. Paris Hilton is doing a ton of work on this.

  • @karolineschnellmauricio9956
    @karolineschnellmauricio9956 Месяц назад +23

    How come these type of schools don’t get shut down by the state when this abuse comes to light?

  • @muliefriend4785
    @muliefriend4785 Месяц назад +56

    Sounds like a North Korean re-education camp. They definitely read the Handmaids Tale.

    • @casshiggins3725
      @casshiggins3725 Месяц назад +3

      I had a older stalker that use to threaten me with this, he told me he was gonna take me and turn me into his handmaiden and breed me. It took me years to realize that that wasn’t just his fantasy, that it was a thing. Que sera sera, “what wil be will be” was my motto until I realized that’s a trauma response.

  • @user-sw2sf3cy4k
    @user-sw2sf3cy4k Месяц назад +38

    Don't minimize your trauma

  • @zippymacadoo6336
    @zippymacadoo6336 Месяц назад +50

    My mom dabbled in different culty groups, and I remember being baffled by people speaking in tongues. Very thankful both my parents were not really religious for different reasons. Thank you for exposing how many cults are out there.

    • @zachmedlin2608
      @zachmedlin2608 Месяц назад +8

      People speaking in tongues freaks me out.

    • @cindypabst9293
      @cindypabst9293 Месяц назад +4

      The reprogramming is so important. You deserve to be treated well❤❤

    • @shannonrising9024
      @shannonrising9024 Месяц назад +4

      My grandma and aunt speak in tongues. It's extremely uncomfortable lol

    • @zachmedlin2608
      @zachmedlin2608 Месяц назад +5

      @@shannonrising9024 I went to a church once where the pastor was crying and speaking in tongues. I never went back.

  • @nola281
    @nola281 Месяц назад +11

    I have an 11 year old and yes she can be jerky sometimes, mouthy sometimes and doesn't always listen but i would never send her to anything like that. i take away her theater tickets and may not let her watch RUclips. Any parent who sends a 10 year old there should be investigated for child abuse. This is torture.

  • @wendydomino
    @wendydomino Месяц назад +18

    The only thing I've ever heard about these reform type schools is that they're abusive and cultish.

  • @thehomeschoolinglibrarian
    @thehomeschoolinglibrarian Месяц назад +18

    The government needs to regulate places like this as well as places for adults with addiction issues. There needs to be a regulatory body and these places need to have licensed therapist and medical doctors that are licensed and required to take continuing education. There needs to be yearly checks by people undercover so they can see what is really going on and the people running these places need to be held accountable with prison terms and be band from doing anything to do with therapy or in the case of these schools children.

    • @KGchannel01
      @KGchannel01 5 дней назад

      I also thought of a drug rehab facility my friend was sent to for over a year. These places are full of problems, lots of potential for abuse or cultiness, not enough accountability.

  • @msyager
    @msyager Месяц назад +54

    Sounds like they used every learning that the Stanford Prison Experiment gained.

    • @Exiled.New.Yorker
      @Exiled.New.Yorker Месяц назад +2

      Some things we shouldnt know.

    • @MaineCoonMama18
      @MaineCoonMama18 Месяц назад +3

      ​@@Exiled.New.YorkerOr at least we should learn from them to avoid repeating them. That experiment definitely shouldn't have happened, but since it did, it should be a warning.

  • @susanwells253
    @susanwells253 Месяц назад +24

    I usually don't com.ent we need legislators to stop this cruel and unusual punishment. I'm mad at all these kids being u can't do that to prisoners. I know I worked one as a nurse.

    • @Lovecoffe506
      @Lovecoffe506 Месяц назад +6

      It is insane that school can do things parents would go to jail for

  • @lindalehr1551
    @lindalehr1551 Месяц назад +21

    Appalling the harm so called religious can do

    • @user-bn2st5kx8h
      @user-bn2st5kx8h Месяц назад

      Dictatorial ppl can call it any name that sounds nice

  • @janeg8274
    @janeg8274 Месяц назад +20

    Y’all this sounds like Jody H. and Ruby .. they put her son and daughter in the cell. Incredibly Ruby was Thrilled her daughter had no idea it was her birthday because she had lost track of time and am/pm!I am praying this place is no longer!!!!

  • @brisebastiano4974
    @brisebastiano4974 Месяц назад +8

    Wow. As a mother I don't know how I'd be able to live with myself after finding out what kind of place I left my child in... I'm so glad she's strong and living a better life now and spreading awareness! Such an inspiration!
    Side note, she looks like Ke$ha🤘

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад +4

      Awww I know it’s so sad to think about. It broke my mom’s heart and to be honest, it’s not easy for us to talk about. We have both grieved that part of our lives and are happy to be living life in this reality today. We both have released our guilt + shame and that is a gift 🙏🏻

  • @RedCholla
    @RedCholla Месяц назад +31

    How in the world does a 'so called' religious educational institution report multiple deaths and not become investigated at the level of child abuse at the minimum? How could all those legally responsible parents, care takers not twig to these stories and then not complain to the authorities? Were they burying these dead children on the property or throwing bodies into a river? When are you going to report it?

    • @CultstoConsciousness
      @CultstoConsciousness  Месяц назад +6

      www.theledger.com/story/news/2013/02/15/reform-home-for-girls-closes-after-years-of-wide-ranging-allegations/26770377007/

    • @RedCholla
      @RedCholla Месяц назад +1

      Thank you. - I don't know how I missed this.

  • @CandEandFamily
    @CandEandFamily Месяц назад +15

    It hurts my heart to hear she feels guilty! It was NOT her fault. None of it. NONE of all that was her responsibility. We all deal with trauma differently. She was not spineless, she’s just a girl trying to survive. It was NOT her fault she was forced into survival mode.

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад +2

      You’re so right and I know that now. Thank you 🫂

  • @jatwood2642
    @jatwood2642 Месяц назад +12

    I don't ever post and i'm a silent listener but watch every video that's posted, and I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart Shelise and Jonathan for shining a light on all these cults/high demand groups and religions and challenging my own thoughts and beliefs for the better. I also want to thank Ashley and all the guest for being so vulnerable and sharing their stories so we can all find validity in our own stories! Keep up the amazing work!!! ❤

    • @CultstoConsciousness
      @CultstoConsciousness  Месяц назад +2

      Hi! Thank you so much for your support! It means a lot ❤️

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад +1

      Thank you so much 🙏🏻

  • @Serendipity-gj2me
    @Serendipity-gj2me Месяц назад +14

    As a vegan myself for 14 years, I would rather die than eat the flesh or byproduct of any animal. I find it strange that her entire family were vegan yet they did not discuss the dietary requirements with the school? No ethical vegan would ever overlook this.

    • @nleem3361
      @nleem3361 Месяц назад +6

      They probably did, but the school probably ignored the family's request, so she didn't get special treatment (spoiled). Sounds like the school was on a major power trip. They're lucky kids didn't die from ignoring diet restrictions. I have a friend who's from a family vegetarians and he does have the stomach enzymes to digest meats. He got so sick from chicken broth that someone accidentally gave him.

    • @alignwithsource
      @alignwithsource Месяц назад +2

      It was an organization of people that want to control & abuse people. They don’t care about your needs, wants, health or boundaries other than to use them against you. It’s silly to think telling them your dietary choices would matter to them.

    • @emmaray9917
      @emmaray9917 Месяц назад +1

      How does an adult lead and work in a place like this? You would need to be unbalanced to implement this.
      This is not Christianity in action. They were reading a ‘different’ Bible to the normal one.
      Using God’s name for their sadistic gain. Shame on them!
      I am so so sorry this happened to you and all the other girls.
      So so wrong!!!

  • @avantgauche
    @avantgauche Месяц назад +12

    i think what traumatises us may be relative but the trauma we hold , the effect it has and that journey to recovery are something that is universal. Also bareing witness to your guests s part of my healing journey and I'm grateful for every story shared

  • @sherylheidecker9025
    @sherylheidecker9025 Месяц назад +20

    You were a child. You did what you had to do to survive. I’m glad you’ve worked through it are working through feeling guilty about not helping others. Again you were just a child. My heart hurts for you.

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад

      Awww thank you. I know. I have definitely shown some love to that part of me that held onto the shame and guilt. Gratefully, I have worked through and released those old belief systems 🙏🏻

  • @sarahissersohn5495
    @sarahissersohn5495 Месяц назад +10

    Ashley, you are amazing- thank you so much, for sharing your story, the hard work you’ve been doing, and the perspective that the work has been opening for you.
    Thank you, Shelise, for another soul-nourishing episode.
    I haven’t been in a cult, but I was undiagnosed w/ ADD and autism, until my senior year of high school, and I identify a lot with a lot of the deconstruction and untangling internalized harm that you and your guests discuss. Thank you again, to you both. Blessed be, dear ones 💜⚡️

    • @CultstoConsciousness
      @CultstoConsciousness  Месяц назад +2

      Ashley really is amazing! Thanks for your kind words. I’m glad this resonates ❤️

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад

      Aww thank you so much!! I am so glad you could relate and I appreciate you sharing 🫂

  • @eckmankimberly572
    @eckmankimberly572 Месяц назад +4

    How could your mom even think to send you there. Ashley that breaks my heart !!!! You come across very healthy. Keep spreading the word and make sure you take care of YOU!!!!

    • @ashfilet
      @ashfilet Месяц назад

      Aww thank you so much! My mom was very terrified and scared and thought she was helping me. She regrets it deeply.

  • @maryannehenderson6023
    @maryannehenderson6023 Месяц назад +7

    This was a totally amazing episode.
    So well spoken. As it applies to cults, yes but also for everyone who lives and continues to fight the good fight towards healing from Trauma.

  • @DancingThunderbird1003
    @DancingThunderbird1003 Месяц назад +28

    And then they wonder why the younger generation pushes back on religion

    • @alignwithsource
      @alignwithsource Месяц назад +1

      The good news is that there are hundreds of millions of people in the world who have no religious or cult affiliations. They live happy, kind & thoughtful lives and they’ve always been on earth for generations since the beginning of humans.

    • @lemsip207
      @lemsip207 16 дней назад

      In the USA it isn't only Generation Z leaving religion but older ones too. Humanist history goes back a long way.

  • @private15
    @private15 Месяц назад +12

    She didn’t have a trial nor a lawyer but was sent to jail where they start mental torture/manipulation from day one.

    • @carolinadick6902
      @carolinadick6902 Месяц назад

      It’s absolutely unbelievable!! Sick , disgusting….

  • @edsqueenlarene6917
    @edsqueenlarene6917 Месяц назад +12

    I hope y'all are enjoying your new baby!! Thank you for working so hard to give us your voice still while you're enjoying the first days of her life. I can't express how much your podcast has helped me!! Thank you so much!! This story I'm crying right at the beginning because my family sent me away for a summer when I was young. It was with my brother and not an abusive home, but it still stings. Stories like these help me recognize it's not my fault that my family was indoctrinated or they thought I needed to be sent away for my normal teenager behavior.

    • @CultstoConsciousness
      @CultstoConsciousness  Месяц назад +11

      I’m so happy to hear it’s been helpful! Thanks for sharing that. You’re definitely not alone ❤️ Baby is currently sleeping on my chest 🥰.

    • @edsqueenlarene6917
      @edsqueenlarene6917 Месяц назад +3

      @@CultstoConsciousness 🥰🥰🥰

    • @psychicrenegade
      @psychicrenegade Месяц назад +3

      Same! I was sent to live with my older sister for over a year, because I started acting out as a result of chronic, ongoing abuse, and as a result of a horrific and abusive childhood full of violence, chaos, neglect, and my parents' addictions. Apparently, me finally breaking down after 15-16 years of constant verbal, emotional, physical, and even s*xual abuse...meant I was a horrible person. I was sent away because my family didn't want to deal with me. Thank God I had one sane, adult sister who took me in, gave me a stable environment, and got me in a stable mindset for the first time in my entire life...I got lucky having her as my big sister. Nobody else cared about me at all...I was just a "problem," a nuisance, that nobody wanted around.

  • @sherylheidecker9025
    @sherylheidecker9025 Месяц назад +11

    A whole year basically in solitary confinement???? 😡🤬 I don’t even think they do that in prison.

    • @kirbysthiccthighs
      @kirbysthiccthighs Месяц назад +5

      nope, even just 72 hours is enough to cause serious issues. i can’t even imagine what a year of solitary confinement would do to a person… absolutely horrific. it’s just torture.

  • @tracytaylor1893
    @tracytaylor1893 Месяц назад +9

    Everyone needs to tell their story. If no one talks about their trauma nobody would know about all the abuse so please tell us louder ❤️

  • @MichaelYoder1961
    @MichaelYoder1961 Месяц назад +6

    A compelling interview - and she's still here (to paraphrase Stephen Sondheim). Glad Ashley's doing so well now. Strong and resilient woman. Thanks Ashley and Shelise.

  • @greg-op2jh
    @greg-op2jh Месяц назад +10

    I am just at the beginning but that literally broke my heart. That is torture. These people need to be locked up! Sending you so much love and healing. I will edit if I have anything else to say! ❤❤❤❤❤ Why is it that when i hear them say they got "saved" I know it's going downhill? Btw i prefer to say i am a survivor! You were victimized but now you are a survivor. Power to Survivors!

    • @Jessicad9304
      @Jessicad9304 Месяц назад

      I thought that too. Like that should be a sign something is wrong, that life gets significantly worse in your family when a parent gets saved

    • @greg-op2jh
      @greg-op2jh Месяц назад

      @@Jessicad9304 it's a shame.. hope you have a wonderful day ❤️

  • @rachelmorgan7321
    @rachelmorgan7321 Месяц назад +6

    I resonated more with this than any interview. She is beautiful

  • @Sarah.p.Stewart8654
    @Sarah.p.Stewart8654 23 дня назад +1

    God, this hit so very close to home. But I’m glad I’m able to listen to someone else’s story. 📝

  • @epimeniamartinez9114
    @epimeniamartinez9114 Месяц назад +2

    Also, you talking about this experience is giving a voice to the persons who were treated worse and might not be able to talk about their experiences. Thank you for sharing.

  • @onthecoast3691
    @onthecoast3691 Месяц назад +5

    I live in the tiny town right next to Jay, Florida!! I had NO idea there was a place like that there. I'm going hunting tomorrow! I'm so sorry you went through that.

  • @samjones9465
    @samjones9465 Месяц назад

    Thank you so much for being brave enough to come and talk to us, I'm sure the rest of your journey will be amazing

  • @jopol
    @jopol Месяц назад +5

    Meeting yourself with softness and grace… that really spoke to me and is something I definitely need to learn. ❤

  • @sourgummiez
    @sourgummiez Месяц назад +3

    Man, Ashley totally blew me away. What an absolutely incredible human being!! We need more healed, ipen and vulnerable humans on this planet! ❤❤❤

  • @ludmilamaiolini6811
    @ludmilamaiolini6811 Месяц назад +2

    It’s crazy how she ever doubted if her trauma was “enough”. I’m feeling physically sick hearing her story

  • @caecoo6904
    @caecoo6904 Месяц назад +1

    Ashley, thank you for speaking up. I'm sure your story will resonnate with a lot of victims out there who don't feel like they really are victims because they don't themselves validate their traumas. It's so important to hear that you don't have to have endured the most horrendous physical abuse to be a victim and to be traumatized

  • @annelarsson6152
    @annelarsson6152 Месяц назад +1

    Thank you so much Ashley for your enourmous courage to share your horrendous experience from this camp and abuse 🙏❤️❤️❤️
    I am so shaken to even hear that those places exist, can’t even find words!!
    You are a true hero, and sharing your experience is for sure helping many more to dare opening up! 🤗❤️
    Thank you so much Shelise for givning Asley and so many more a voice out in the world! ❤❤

  • @nesyagillies9323
    @nesyagillies9323 Месяц назад +2

    I never went to one of these schools but I still resonated with a lot of what was shared in this one. Thank you both for presenting this story.

  • @PamelaH_HappyVibes
    @PamelaH_HappyVibes Месяц назад +2

    I feel like a lot of people that come to speak on this podcast are not victims but, they are SURVIVORS! 💪 By Ashley speaking out this could save another child from having to go to one of these abusive places. Thank you, Ashley for sharing your story! ❤

  • @claudiamcfie1265
    @claudiamcfie1265 Месяц назад +2

    Thank you so much for sharing this, especially your comments about not comparing trauma. I haven't been in any kind of cult, but I did have hurtful things happen within a mainstream church that I'm processing through. All stories are valid.
    Love the comment about "meeting myself with softness"

  • @tracytaylor1893
    @tracytaylor1893 Месяц назад +3

    Ashley tells her story so well .thank you for sharing your story . Please Ashley write a book I'll wait 😊 . Please everyone share this video this really needs to be known. It needs to be stopped!

  • @TheHookahSmokingCaterpillar
    @TheHookahSmokingCaterpillar Месяц назад +1

    I salute the girl in the 'Get right room' for her strength of will - we need more people like her.

  • @nomadicam
    @nomadicam Месяц назад +6

    I was also in a culty behavioral modification program as a teen. It was one of the wwasp programs featured in the Netflix docu "the program: cons, cults, and kidnapping." It was weird because most/many of the admin/staff were mormon, and i was raised Mormon... It was strange to sit at that crossroads.

    • @CultstoConsciousness
      @CultstoConsciousness  Месяц назад +3

      We are hoping to cover that soon!

    • @nomadicam
      @nomadicam Месяц назад +2

      @@CultstoConsciousness I'm in LA for the next month, would do an interview!

  • @jennifermay8710
    @jennifermay8710 Месяц назад +3

    I think this has been my favorite C2C episode yet. You are both such beautiful souls.

    • @CultstoConsciousness
      @CultstoConsciousness  Месяц назад +1

      Wow, thank you! Ashley is so easy to talk to and so enlightened and aware.

  • @Annie-ex3ge
    @Annie-ex3ge Месяц назад

    Oh my, what an inspirational, loving person! I'll have to rewatch the later part several times and take notes. I whish you very well and more healing and just everything good on your path!

  • @patriciaschultz3005
    @patriciaschultz3005 Месяц назад +2

    Oh Ashley, I’m so sorry you have felt unworthy to speak because you compared your experience to others. But your pain, damage, and any survival thinking and survival behavior is just as valid as anyone’s. Plus, we underestimate the damage we experience as we witness the abuse of others. That’s a powerful form of damage of its own. Thank you for your courage to share and to be on a healing path. Your story and journey to recovery have power and has touched me. You are courageous and amazing.

  • @marionbarbeau292
    @marionbarbeau292 Месяц назад

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience ❤. The part where you talk about your healing journey really resonates with me especially when you explain that you are no longer juging/punishing yourself for having anxiety, it brings me so much peace to listen to you. All the best to you ❤

  • @redfraggle525
    @redfraggle525 Месяц назад +4

    Thank you for sharing your story.
    I had 'not that bad' compared to others. But I've learned too.
    Your trauma was traumatic to you. It's not the the trauma olympics.
    The healing is the point.

  • @DarklightAmy
    @DarklightAmy Месяц назад +2

    Thank you Ashley for sharing your story! ❤

  • @amstergal
    @amstergal Месяц назад +2

    That was fantastic, thank you for sharing! Yes, resonated for years back through the present. I want to cry regarding loving oneself and being softer and affirming to oneself that the emotions are ok and valid and have a reason (more digging required regarding myself).

  • @vegpuppy255
    @vegpuppy255 Месяц назад +1

    I feel so connected to Ashley.
    Her trauma journey and appreciation for nature feel so similar to me.
    Thank you for bringing her into your show. I needed to hear her journey today. 💕

  • @KanraLovesHumans
    @KanraLovesHumans 3 дня назад

    I needed to hear this one today ❤️ Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us!

  • @AndreaFoulkesPastLifeHealing
    @AndreaFoulkesPastLifeHealing Месяц назад +2

    I have heard clients telling me similar stuff in healing the inner child in my 23 years expereince as a therapist ... you so need to heal the fragmented aspects of you from this trauma... So much love to you both... as you disassociate at the time to survive, but now is the time to heal the inner you. Great that you're speaking out Ashley .Wonder sharing xxx

  • @LisaR2392
    @LisaR2392 Месяц назад +2

    OMGAAA YOU WENT TO THE SCHOOL IN JAY, FL!!!! THAT IS LITERALLY 10 MIN FROM ME! I HAD NO IDEA THAT THIS PLACE EXISTED UNTIL IT WAS GOINE!!

  • @amberleanaylor
    @amberleanaylor Месяц назад

    This video was SO impactful. Thank you for sharing 🩵

  • @novakien2714
    @novakien2714 Месяц назад +1

    One of the most moving stories. You are incredible, truly. I hope to make peace with myself in the same way you do and continue to do

  • @graceyoung3771
    @graceyoung3771 Месяц назад +2

    I went to public school in the 60s and 70s. My home life was constant abuse therefore I became an easy target for bullies, even bully teachers. Just watching these shows bring back memories that make me think...hey that was diffinitly wrong, why didn't anyone do or say anything? I'm glad things are changing for the kids today.

  • @Mayfrancisxavier
    @Mayfrancisxavier 12 дней назад

    This is insane!! My Catholic upbringing was strict, misogynistic and damaging but this is just sickening. I’m so glad you’re bringing this to the public’s attention!

  • @tamaradrobbins
    @tamaradrobbins Месяц назад +1

    Loved your conversation. Resonated with me on many levels! Thank you ladies. 💕

  • @christiegreenwood2642
    @christiegreenwood2642 Месяц назад +2

    I can't imagine the absolute hell of being forced to eat meat, not just once but on a daily basis. It not just grosses me out extremely, I also can't digest it well, so I would be in constant agony.

  • @cynthiac.castellano5139
    @cynthiac.castellano5139 Месяц назад

    I'm actually learning the same thing, not reacting to adults who trigger me, and being more soft and gentle with myself. We're all imperfect. Thanks for sharing!

  • @kristenertel659
    @kristenertel659 Месяц назад

    WOW! Every word she said during the Linda Listen portion resonated with me deeply. Such wisdom, and all of it was truly earned the hard way. Thank you so much for sharing!!!!!

  • @michellesillery2098
    @michellesillery2098 17 дней назад

    Wow what a wonderful interview. The interviewee was so graceful and articulate. My heart goes out to her. I respect and admire the amount of work she has obviously done to get herself to her current mindset. What a wonderful outcome for such a beautiful person. Thanks for sharing

  • @rubyandbert
    @rubyandbert Месяц назад +1

    You two are amazing! Yes, beautifully spoken❣️ So liberating! Thank you!

  • @justinetaylor691
    @justinetaylor691 29 дней назад

    Thank you! Thank you! Giving value to all whom have experienced these things in our upbringing you have know idea how much encouragement this podcast is to me on a personal level ❤

  • @kbaby5397
    @kbaby5397 Месяц назад +2

    This is horrifying! I’m so sorry a place like this exists! Thank u for sharing

  • @lemond1649
    @lemond1649 Месяц назад

    I second Ashley's closing statements, this podcast has been a great help personally to process my own trauma. Thanks for the episode!

  • @nancycornett9949
    @nancycornett9949 Месяц назад +4

    Very inspiring! Thank you.❤

  • @krystaladams4440
    @krystaladams4440 Месяц назад +1

    Ashley I am very glad you Shared you story. YOU HAVE every right to share your story because so many people do not even realize that these places even exist, so share your story girl! its so incredibly important. I actually had someone ask my why I watch things like this or stories like yours and its because I truly believe that keeping my head in the sand about situations are terrible so I try very hard to learn about all kinds of different scenarios in life....I cant help someone if I dont know about it.

  • @elenabee6764
    @elenabee6764 6 дней назад

    "i was born good" this was powerful for me to hear.

  • @user-ub2gr8qs4t
    @user-ub2gr8qs4t Месяц назад +1

    This story was extra special to me. It really hit home. Keep up the great work Ashley. I took a lot away from this one.