A warning to all about bad relationships

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  • Опубликовано: 26 дек 2024

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  • @valariesusan52
    @valariesusan52 3 месяца назад +61

    When you chase love it will run from you. Love and respect yourself and love will find you.

  • @YvonnesTighe
    @YvonnesTighe 3 месяца назад +24

    I was raised a Catholic however I truly value this wisdom and advice.
    God bless you.

  • @GlockPeace
    @GlockPeace 4 месяца назад +32

    Having no one on this planet care about you is painful... opposite of being loved. Love is a verb, it's an action... it's showing up when it matters. It's not doing life alone.

    • @user-jn6jm4bb6f
      @user-jn6jm4bb6f 4 месяца назад +3

      You know the saying: "Don't do to your friend what is hateful to you"?
      And do you know the saying: "Love your companion as yourself"?
      Why is it written: "Mitzvos between a person and his friend precede the mitzvos between a person and the place"?
      Which friend and which companion do you think it is?
      It's about you and your inner self.
      "Do not do to your inner self, what you hate that is done to you".
      "Love your inner self just as you would like to be loved".
      Do you know the verses read on Yom Kippur? This first and foremost speaks about you and your attitude towards the inner self.
      Once you treat your inner self properly, two things will happen:
      Yom Kippur will be unnecessary for you.
      You will begin to understand how to properly relate to everything external to you.
      In other words, true love is first and foremost between you and yourself, only then can you truly love and be loved.

    • @GlockPeace
      @GlockPeace 4 месяца назад

      @@user-jn6jm4bb6f No I don't, can you tell me the scriptures to read? Thank you.

    • @user-jn6jm4bb6f
      @user-jn6jm4bb6f 4 месяца назад

      The first is Hillel's . The second is Rabbi Akiva's . The "I am guilty" is the Yom Kippur confession

  • @msilvaoregon
    @msilvaoregon 3 месяца назад +13

    Loving yourself means dont let others abuse you. Dont let others trick you and hurt you. This is the context meant by love yourself. Narcs dont love themselves.

  • @BackSlidBacktoGod
    @BackSlidBacktoGod 3 месяца назад +12

    This is one of the best videos of Love, marriage and relationships. Thank you Rabbi. Jesus is alive

    • @lorietaylor6837
      @lorietaylor6837 2 месяца назад +1

      Yes. The anointed are alive. I think this Rabbi roots are of Aaron. Awesome connection to the spiritual mighty.

  • @theaprilglasgowshow
    @theaprilglasgowshow 3 месяца назад +8

    “Kindness is the feeling that everyone should have everything. There is no judgment. Kindness says, ‘sure, why not?’”
    Rabbi Manis Friedman

  • @Ribas_darkkissa
    @Ribas_darkkissa 3 месяца назад +31

    This gave me the sobriety I needed today out of the pain of my husband’s betrail and breaking our family and changing our children’s lives forever out of his selfishness and not even willing ever to go to counceling. Tomorrow their lives will be turned upside down from their peace and Happy lives 😢 but Im no longer in such attached suffering from my broken heart after hearing this. Thank you Rabbi Friedman! I practice buddhism and was raised in catholic faith but love listening to your wisdom! 🙏🏼

    • @marksmithstone9253
      @marksmithstone9253 3 месяца назад +1

      Keep strong.

    • @Confessions089
      @Confessions089 3 месяца назад +4

      I was there once but now I'm over it because I have to be in order to be truly happy and have a peaceful life. However, my situation was much darker than what you described, even though the same thing you described was happening at the same time.

    • @riube28
      @riube28 3 месяца назад

      ❤ sending you strength, hope, and courage

    • @TheStoicGoddess-i3l
      @TheStoicGoddess-i3l 3 месяца назад +2

      Your resilience in the face of such deep pain is truly admirable. It’s heartbreaking how betrayal can shatter lives, especially those of innocent children. Yet, finding solace in wisdom from different traditions shows incredible strength. I'm inspired by your courage to move forward and seek healing. Thank you for sharing this.

  • @OWLHOLLYWOOD-USA
    @OWLHOLLYWOOD-USA 3 месяца назад +4

    You attract what you reflect. Self-love brings the right kind of love into your life!

  • @randomtux1234
    @randomtux1234 4 месяца назад +18

    thanks Rabbi, speaks much truth,
    and I cant for the life of me figure why
    he's been dissed by so called rabbis all over the show-
    a totally undeserved, unwarranted, and despicable public shaming
    of a fine wise and caring man, whose only sin
    is to help the world become a better place for all of humanity

    • @MaureenToews
      @MaureenToews 3 месяца назад +1

      The best are always reviled by mediocre control freaks 😉

  • @BethanyAshelman
    @BethanyAshelman 4 месяца назад +57

    My brother was worried about my ex boyfriend.He could be a serial killer and abusive. I'm so glad I listened to his advice and got away.

    • @michaelleadford5960
      @michaelleadford5960 3 месяца назад +4

      So you're single? 😉 Just being cheeky, glad you dodged that detrimental relationship, praise be to God (and your brother)

    • @starshapedrefrigeratormagn3851
      @starshapedrefrigeratormagn3851 3 месяца назад

      I like to compare people who are known narcissists to serial killers. It's like they have the same m.o. my ex boyfriend was like btk. He would marinade certian stores while he gave his energy and effort and attention to easy women some of which knew he was with me. These days women don't fucking care they will screw anyone taken or not even if the wife is in icu with cancer complications. The assistance they get from the women and the people who will willing be called upon to distract a situation is unbelievable.
      I was homicide by a serial cheater who killed me inside. He didnt value me he didn't care about me and certianly he didn't love me he wanted a pinata to take shots at with his hand picked friends that all happen to be cluster b personalities. I was blindsided..my son of 2 completely disposed of with me. Only wants to screw internet prostitutes and smoke crack andndo meth. I hope one day he sees the light and he is very hard on himself making people who did hard work on improvements and having purpose and good qualities to the table.

    • @anonymouslyphantomwarrior6787
      @anonymouslyphantomwarrior6787 2 месяца назад

      Serial killer and abusive people these days 😂😂😂

  • @nomansland6376
    @nomansland6376 3 месяца назад +21

    Loving someone generously doesn’t mean allowing them to continue to do wrong. There’s a misconception that.. I am who I am and you need to love me.. while they commit fraud, or lie cheat and manipulate. Don’t plan for the future and their fruits are rotting. Not saying something to correct them is NOT loving them. Iron sharpens iron.. this is relationship. Where is the line between loving and right relationship? They say they love you.. but the don’t as words and actions do not line up. Love is a verb.. for both husband and wife. Sadly, I hear a lot of.. I want, I want, I’m looking for, me, me, me.. here’s my list. Love is not selfish, neither is right relationship. Especially right relationship with God.

  • @TheWizardofEyez
    @TheWizardofEyez 4 месяца назад +9

    Only 3 mins in and already, so much wisdom! I’m glad I found this channel ❤

  • @mariebarrett7177
    @mariebarrett7177 4 месяца назад +11

    Thank you again for all your advice, rabbi friedman you could quite easily keep a jewel like this too yourself but you express it to the world..

  • @radost25
    @radost25 2 месяца назад

    This is truly life changing advice and insight into the human condition or better, into the mess that society and ourselves have created. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Not Jewish, not even religious, but your videos are helping me to navigate and rethink my marriage which hasn't been great for so many different reasons. Great wisdom, great philosophy, and what a gracious way to deliver these messages!!!!

  • @BetyBety-n3t
    @BetyBety-n3t 4 месяца назад +5

    Long live with you and health father rabbi Friedman❤

  • @EdwinMcCravy
    @EdwinMcCravy 3 месяца назад +1

    I certainly believe in loving, kindness, and generosity!

  • @fgh456-e5d
    @fgh456-e5d Месяц назад

    ❤️🙏🏼Thank you Rabbi!

  • @raquelreyes2011
    @raquelreyes2011 2 месяца назад

    Perfect sense. God is Good

  • @vladimirvasic8388
    @vladimirvasic8388 Месяц назад

    I am with 22 be hurt, I sit and made my philosophie, I love her most in the World, her lost are that she goes wit my best friend, after that help me I never be jellous.

  • @mariaearthangel7251
    @mariaearthangel7251 3 месяца назад +1

    When one questions whether I will I be loveable, then it is a root insecurity.
    We have to find out why this is and try to heal from it so we totally accept ourselves.

  • @alallya8
    @alallya8 4 месяца назад +17

    Thank you Rabbi. I’ve been questioning the purpose of marriage amidst our current world situations where selfishness at forefront. Where people keep using others for their own pleasure/fulfillment, and dehumanizing one another when it considers no longer fulfilling/benefits them.
    Which made me had no interest in idea of marriage in todays world..
    Thank you for bringing the light and return its sanctity, hopefully I could meet my person who could see the institution values and greater purpose like you do.

  • @KH-fw8rs
    @KH-fw8rs 4 месяца назад +13

    All children need to be seen, understood and heard. Be treated as if you have value. Children need love or you can destroy a person. I agree with you on a lot, but we must lift up the unselfish love of a newborn child. We need the nuances. Children do not understand like an adult and must be allowed to keep their childhood.

    • @Jen-s6e
      @Jen-s6e 4 месяца назад +3

      I love being alone

    • @KH-fw8rs
      @KH-fw8rs 4 месяца назад

      @@Jen-s6e I also like being alone.

  • @melissameza4032
    @melissameza4032 3 месяца назад +1

    That’s why I say the opposite of love is indifference not hate.

  • @adedenathana9160
    @adedenathana9160 2 месяца назад

    Oh Rabbi thank so much I really appreciate this video so much ❤

  • @irinaforman75
    @irinaforman75 3 месяца назад +1

    Ancient wisdom! Thank you

  • @Caroll_kerner
    @Caroll_kerner 2 месяца назад

    Thank you for all your videos. I can listen to you all day every day...🧡

  • @cindyblalock3379
    @cindyblalock3379 2 месяца назад

    Thank you you explained it beautifully!

  • @justinnk4525
    @justinnk4525 4 месяца назад +9

    In Quantum Physics the mutual interaction of emotions one on another is called entanglement. The Rabbi is on point. However, not everyone is familiar with the Kabalistic Tree of Life and how the Sefirot interact and how they are connected to and interact with each other.
    How good and how pleasant it would be to see the unification of all higher man! - Bob Marley circa 1978 - Africa Unite

  • @valariesusan52
    @valariesusan52 3 месяца назад +3

    Cruel to be kind in the right measure. is a good song,

  • @kathleenmolo4520
    @kathleenmolo4520 3 месяца назад

    Your talk today struck the very pain of my loss,so truthful!

  • @adamroth719
    @adamroth719 3 месяца назад

    I was under the presumption that we need to have empathy in order to have kindness so empathy comes first before anything.

  • @oluwafemidurojaiye8430
    @oluwafemidurojaiye8430 3 месяца назад

    God is love so we need to follow His way because we don't because of what we want but because we love God we love others

  • @Laura-c1c3v
    @Laura-c1c3v 4 месяца назад +4

    They don't marry you for companionship or love just to abandon you and control you from a distance with hate and revenge in mind.

  • @josephdilorenzo5314
    @josephdilorenzo5314 3 месяца назад +6

    Love is a feeling. If you dont love your wife or brother or sister, what's the point? Many times, an animal shows more love than a sibling or spouse. When one doesn't even like a spouse, then it's best to get divorced and stay busy with hobbies. No marriage is better than a lousy marriage.

  • @Take_one_moment_to_appreciate
    @Take_one_moment_to_appreciate 3 месяца назад +2

    This was so beneficial thank you.

  • @tracycameron5099
    @tracycameron5099 3 месяца назад +1

    Profound! So needed and explained clearly.

  • @peacestartswithasmile2257
    @peacestartswithasmile2257 3 месяца назад

    thank you sir, for the enlightenment

  • @BackSlidBacktoGod
    @BackSlidBacktoGod 3 месяца назад

    Thanks!

    • @manisfriedman
      @manisfriedman  3 месяца назад

      Thank you very much, @BackSlidBacktoGod. Thank you for helping us continue to produce and and improve our content!

  • @Schquirl
    @Schquirl 3 месяца назад

    Empathy is greatest form of love but is so rare it is almost obsolete nowadays.

  • @jeanneromaine3146
    @jeanneromaine3146 4 месяца назад +1

    Thank you, Rabbi Friedman. This teaching will help me very much! ❤

  • @MichaelMagestus
    @MichaelMagestus 3 месяца назад +2

    Thank you

  • @ashcom8952
    @ashcom8952 3 месяца назад +1

    Profound message! Thank you

  • @mercimajano7042
    @mercimajano7042 3 месяца назад +1

    Rabbi you really help me to understand and be more clear about my emotions

  • @lapassion24
    @lapassion24 4 месяца назад +2

    Sorry forgot what I wanted to say , from what i mentioned above, to add in, Kindness is a nature thing , it’s a natural human thing . That’s all. And I understand it, like something harmless wind passing by me.. dwell deep in it is not worth it. But to have better action and path is worth .

  • @edithtieling6984
    @edithtieling6984 3 месяца назад

    Yes 💯🙌 you know my strength 💪🙏❤️ and I will never forget that God's timing is right 👍▶️

  • @1GoodDag
    @1GoodDag 4 месяца назад +3

    Imminently lovable man this rabbi.... ty rabbi for being a pleasure to be kind to. Truly a generous person❤
    "Love" that is real leads to action.... we all need help.... however we label things, love that exists in my heart.... as a feeling I feel when I consider you.... is ultimately mine and not a generosity to you unless I purposefully convert my feeling of the feeling...... into my willingness to put your wellbeing ahead of my pleasure....
    I would say we need love in order to be truly human.... but love isn't a feeling it's a circumstance that leads to action....
    Love cannot be a simple pendulum, where my feelings are free to swing....

  • @rebeccacastillo4789
    @rebeccacastillo4789 4 месяца назад +6

    Thank you Rabbi Friedman ❤

  • @yvonnesegers3214
    @yvonnesegers3214 4 месяца назад +1

    Thank you só much! 🕊

  • @deborahs1430
    @deborahs1430 4 месяца назад +7

    Thank you for posting - I understand and needed to hear this today.

  • @evadefrumerie3676
    @evadefrumerie3676 3 месяца назад +1

    Thankyou you saved me

  • @MomandBuggs
    @MomandBuggs 4 месяца назад +2

    You have a kind face❤

  • @j.lsantos9106
    @j.lsantos9106 4 месяца назад +1

    Well said rabbi surely heaven sent thank you from us all

  • @rajm77
    @rajm77 4 месяца назад +1

    Rabbi. Thank you

  • @sunshinelong9184
    @sunshinelong9184 4 месяца назад +6

    Forgive my ignorance here. But does not your boyfriend have to be your boyfriend before he can be your husband. How do your "court" a potential mate without getting to a point where they are important and you love them. Then they become your husband or wife. Please explain

  • @stephaniemonteilh3240
    @stephaniemonteilh3240 4 месяца назад +3

    Thank you Rabbi

  • @evaluederitz
    @evaluederitz 4 месяца назад +2

    That helped me a Lot. Thank you dear Rabbi ❤

  • @mariebarrett7177
    @mariebarrett7177 4 месяца назад +1

    I think people can be forgiven for gaining some inner strength from not having the emotional supporrt from a mother or and absent father, i think you end up just mothering yourself. You really do and yes very humbling.

  • @melmell8109
    @melmell8109 3 месяца назад

    Terrific so enjoyable
    I will take away the dog analogy because it was spot on
    I’ll remember that since it’s La’Behemot today is a time for us to honor our relationships with behemot, the animals in our lives but not above people

    • @lh5823
      @lh5823 2 месяца назад

      Thank you Rabbi. So much wisdom. Gratitude.❤

  • @kimberlygerman294
    @kimberlygerman294 4 месяца назад +2

    Rabbi Friedman, I believe my brother was a narcissist. He died in February 2023. I am concerned about him going to hell. This is something i think about every day. He wasnt a bad person, he had a lot of goodness in him. How forgiving is God when it comes to personality disorders.

    • @user-jn6jm4bb6f
      @user-jn6jm4bb6f 4 месяца назад +6

      In one of the lectures, the Rabbi explained that everyone gets to Heaven, only passing through Hell.
      God created your brother with love and with the ability to deal with the difficulties he had to go through in his life.
      How forgiving is God? How much does a loving father forgive his children?
      Well the answer is:
      God is infinite. Therefore his love is infinite and hence, his forgiveness is infinite.

    • @kimberlygerman294
      @kimberlygerman294 4 месяца назад

      @@user-jn6jm4bb6f thank you.

  • @davesskillet9235
    @davesskillet9235 4 месяца назад +6

    Thank you Rabbi Manis Friedman I was unaware until now.

  • @KevinP32270
    @KevinP32270 4 месяца назад +5

    THANKS RABBI!

  • @ronishindler2859
    @ronishindler2859 Месяц назад

    Unless it's a third party trying to steal what you have 🕯️🕊️🕊️

  • @Happy-tc2jt
    @Happy-tc2jt 3 месяца назад

    Brillant ❤❤❤

  • @victoriousjoy9338
    @victoriousjoy9338 4 месяца назад +2

    This makes sense!

  • @mariebarrett7177
    @mariebarrett7177 4 месяца назад +1

    Wow fascinating so true.. "back off" I'm going to say that next time I'm obsessing about something.
    Think about someone else next time the attention on myself goes too far.. such good advice. 💜

  • @Astrologcomedy
    @Astrologcomedy 3 месяца назад +1

    Brilliant❤

  • @oceanne-ko3uk
    @oceanne-ko3uk 9 дней назад

    I am happy on my own . Less problem

  • @TruthLove333
    @TruthLove333 3 месяца назад +1

    Good analogy, with the chocolate 🍫

  • @truxoxo_HEA7EN11
    @truxoxo_HEA7EN11 4 месяца назад +2

    You speak of True love and then call desire love and how it is empty. Yet we are told that love is unrelenting so value and importance is outside of it! For God's is only without love when we do not follow his laws, we step away from him and learn to fear him!

    • @user-jn6jm4bb6f
      @user-jn6jm4bb6f 4 месяца назад

      What is important here is that the object itself is dear to your heart, important to you, Not his love or yours. Love is a desirable byproduct, but nothing more.
      That is, If God is the one who is really important to you, your feelings towards him will not decrease or increase his importance.
      A childish person treats life according to sweet and bitter. That is, he will always look for sweet things and withdraw from bitter things.
      A mature person treats life according to truth and lies. That is, he will always seek the truth and withdraw from the lie.
      In other words, your relationship to God need be like a mature person, not childish.
      Once a person realizes that God is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, only then can he discern how much God loves him. And this is the ultimate goal state.

  • @sophiemashishi285
    @sophiemashishi285 4 месяца назад

    Thank you Rabbi ,most valuable ❤

  • @markclement1201
    @markclement1201 4 месяца назад +1

    This are the law's.. nobody can follow but can get it as guide

  • @mariebarrett7177
    @mariebarrett7177 4 месяца назад +4

    I wish I'd heard this from being 18 onwards..

    • @michaelleadford5960
      @michaelleadford5960 3 месяца назад

      Wish I heard this at 17, but we gotta remember this life of ours is about what God wants for us, from us, which can be frustrating at times

  • @ceciliamoka
    @ceciliamoka 4 месяца назад

    Thank you so much for your wisdom, i had never heard about this before. It has helped a lot.

  • @lapassion24
    @lapassion24 4 месяца назад +2

    I know this , because when I was little all I have was kindness.. and as I grow up all I see was black and white ^ ^ I couldn’t see anything else but I’m ok ,. Looking back .. if I have to admit what I see , I would say kindness and give it away.. kindness to give the space to share and experience without limit and give it away, let go and forget … I know there’s no firm place to say black is black and white is white.. i know this place.. and yet I still seek for compassion.. it is odd.

  • @marcelawestberry6071
    @marcelawestberry6071 2 месяца назад

    Can you please address in one of your videos, the impact of pornography in a marriage and if that’s considered not being loved as a wife?

  • @ellebell9139
    @ellebell9139 3 месяца назад +2

    When do i stop being kind and start judging?

  • @eliezerjaradi3513
    @eliezerjaradi3513 4 месяца назад +5

    We love your videos

  • @Pr1nce4of4Peace4
    @Pr1nce4of4Peace4 4 месяца назад +2

    I must go home to the heart of the earth calls me home. Jerusalem, my bride time for me to be with my children. Her fruits are ripe hitherto I go to harvest. Her bounties for 6 years are in the storehouses time for her rest. Mizpah shipra H'SHEM

  • @carmenlucaciu2617
    @carmenlucaciu2617 4 месяца назад

    Thank you ❤

  • @arulmary603
    @arulmary603 4 месяца назад +1

    What's the difference between male love & female love??? Why sometimes people dissatisfied of love & opt the addiction?? Do we understand love at matured stages??? How to get along with people that have materialistic love ??

    • @oluwafemidurojaiye8430
      @oluwafemidurojaiye8430 3 месяца назад

      Love because God is love not about what you want but what God want that gives you peace because you don't expect anything so that if disappointed you will be strong because you expect nothing and if good return you thank God for it

  • @FakihaHusein
    @FakihaHusein 3 месяца назад

    Please how do I love myself dear father

  • @akai.christo
    @akai.christo 4 месяца назад +6

    Thank you Rabbi Friedman and Team!! Wish you and all here a great day!!💪✡️🙏❤️🔥🎶

  • @latoyaaustin2003
    @latoyaaustin2003 3 месяца назад

    What about Moslows hierarchy of needs? A sense of belonging in social life.

  • @marcela1082
    @marcela1082 2 месяца назад

    Can you give any advice to women who cannot have children?

  • @MZa865
    @MZa865 4 месяца назад +2

    What about Love of God?

  • @anirijoy7978
    @anirijoy7978 3 месяца назад

    I’m sorry… I love my God and I will die for my God

  • @karrynlipsett5187
    @karrynlipsett5187 3 месяца назад +2

    So from listening to this guy talking in riddles for ages, ive took from it that he doesn't believve in marriage - same as myself, & you shouldn't love yourself - i believe you should. The rest is too much to comment on

  • @melissaklemm9976
    @melissaklemm9976 3 месяца назад +1

    For GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD ❤understand?

  • @VioletaMariño-v9f
    @VioletaMariño-v9f 4 месяца назад +5

    To sacrifice our will, is it love?

  • @xoxobrown
    @xoxobrown 3 месяца назад

    What about the attraction we feel when we meet someone and how do you pick a partner and is having a boyfriend forbidden

  • @vladimirvasic8388
    @vladimirvasic8388 16 дней назад

    Two Devolorganization now "like me", in my company want to put me in Hospital or I must go to Hospital, must go from all.

  • @gothicyid
    @gothicyid 4 месяца назад +3

    Rabbi Friedman if your boyfriend becomes your fiance and husband when does he become important. I'm divorced and don't want to rush into marriage without taking time to get to know the person.

  • @schizophrenicghost
    @schizophrenicghost 3 месяца назад

    I must admit, if this was a talk for girls; It is more relevant for men.

  • @FRFrass
    @FRFrass Месяц назад

    ❤❤❤❤❤

  • @NevenkaVukMalivuk-k9c
    @NevenkaVukMalivuk-k9c 4 месяца назад

    zelo se motite rabbi.. o custvih.. ogromno custev cutijo ljudje, ne tako malo, cudno kar govorite..custva so vedno prisotna.. in vi narobe ucite ljudi.. zapomnite si to..
    clovek je polen custev.. vsaki dan, vedno..ce si otrok zazeli sladoled..to je custvo, ce dobi slaldoled , tudi to so custva.. itd.o cem govorite vi?? ne narobe uciti ljudi..

  • @teresahyk-knutson6498
    @teresahyk-knutson6498 3 месяца назад

    Could it be called a trait?

  • @tesfamikael7486
    @tesfamikael7486 4 месяца назад

    Love is not anti Semites the love is 10 commitments as assigned to Moses and the sovereign status of the open door mercy

  • @brotherfuture
    @brotherfuture 3 месяца назад

    🙏🏾

  • @jaberrabora4757
    @jaberrabora4757 3 месяца назад +1

    ❤❤💯

  • @klesuo
    @klesuo 3 месяца назад

    I feel that I innately knew so much of this but this modern world corrupted me. Thinking back to these earlier years. People wanted me to have a boyfriend. People wanted me to have sex. And for us Gentiles there really is no path to marriage that doesn't involve first having a serious "relationship." In college, I envied the Indian girls that I knew that had all of this orchestrated for them and had wonderful options of potential mates presented to them. I was like wow... that's so nice! I wish I had that 😕
    I will say that the Jewish kids I knew back then must have been very secular or something because I never heard them talk about arranged marriages or matchmakers. They also definitely fornicated and were in relationships with non-Jews. So I don't know what that means. But I do enjoy this very traditional perspective! I wonder if there is a way that I could have access to some kind of middle-person/matchmaker.