A warning to all about bad relationships
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
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Rabbi Manis Friedman is a world-renowned author, counselor, lecturer and philosopher who uses ancient wisdom and modern wit to captivate audiences around the world. For bookings, please call Zalman at 800-656-5669
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When you chase love it will run from you. Love and respect yourself and love will find you.
Yes
Loving yourself is the key! Everything else, including love, falls into place
I was raised a Catholic however I truly value this wisdom and advice.
God bless you.
This is one of the best videos of Love, marriage and relationships. Thank you Rabbi. Jesus is alive
Having no one on this planet care about you is painful... opposite of being loved. Love is a verb, it's an action... it's showing up when it matters. It's not doing life alone.
You know the saying: "Don't do to your friend what is hateful to you"?
And do you know the saying: "Love your companion as yourself"?
Why is it written: "Mitzvos between a person and his friend precede the mitzvos between a person and the place"?
Which friend and which companion do you think it is?
It's about you and your inner self.
"Do not do to your inner self, what you hate that is done to you".
"Love your inner self just as you would like to be loved".
Do you know the verses read on Yom Kippur? This first and foremost speaks about you and your attitude towards the inner self.
Once you treat your inner self properly, two things will happen:
Yom Kippur will be unnecessary for you.
You will begin to understand how to properly relate to everything external to you.
In other words, true love is first and foremost between you and yourself, only then can you truly love and be loved.
@@user-jn6jm4bb6f No I don't, can you tell me the scriptures to read? Thank you.
The first is Hillel's . The second is Rabbi Akiva's . The "I am guilty" is the Yom Kippur confession
This gave me the sobriety I needed today out of the pain of my husband’s betrail and breaking our family and changing our children’s lives forever out of his selfishness and not even willing ever to go to counceling. Tomorrow their lives will be turned upside down from their peace and Happy lives 😢 but Im no longer in such attached suffering from my broken heart after hearing this. Thank you Rabbi Friedman! I practice buddhism and was raised in catholic faith but love listening to your wisdom! 🙏🏼
Keep strong.
I was there once but now I'm over it because I have to be in order to be truly happy and have a peaceful life. However, my situation was much darker than what you described, even though the same thing you described was happening at the same time.
❤ sending you strength, hope, and courage
Your resilience in the face of such deep pain is truly admirable. It’s heartbreaking how betrayal can shatter lives, especially those of innocent children. Yet, finding solace in wisdom from different traditions shows incredible strength. I'm inspired by your courage to move forward and seek healing. Thank you for sharing this.
“Kindness is the feeling that everyone should have everything. There is no judgment. Kindness says, ‘sure, why not?’”
Rabbi Manis Friedman
Loving someone generously doesn’t mean allowing them to continue to do wrong. There’s a misconception that.. I am who I am and you need to love me.. while they commit fraud, or lie cheat and manipulate. Don’t plan for the future and their fruits are rotting. Not saying something to correct them is NOT loving them. Iron sharpens iron.. this is relationship. Where is the line between loving and right relationship? They say they love you.. but the don’t as words and actions do not line up. Love is a verb.. for both husband and wife. Sadly, I hear a lot of.. I want, I want, I’m looking for, me, me, me.. here’s my list. Love is not selfish, neither is right relationship. Especially right relationship with God.
thanks Rabbi, speaks much truth,
and I cant for the life of me figure why
he's been dissed by so called rabbis all over the show-
a totally undeserved, unwarranted, and despicable public shaming
of a fine wise and caring man, whose only sin
is to help the world become a better place for all of humanity
The best are always reviled by mediocre control freaks 😉
My brother was worried about my ex boyfriend.He could be a serial killer and abusive. I'm so glad I listened to his advice and got away.
So you're single? 😉 Just being cheeky, glad you dodged that detrimental relationship, praise be to God (and your brother)
I like to compare people who are known narcissists to serial killers. It's like they have the same m.o. my ex boyfriend was like btk. He would marinade certian stores while he gave his energy and effort and attention to easy women some of which knew he was with me. These days women don't fucking care they will screw anyone taken or not even if the wife is in icu with cancer complications. The assistance they get from the women and the people who will willing be called upon to distract a situation is unbelievable.
I was homicide by a serial cheater who killed me inside. He didnt value me he didn't care about me and certianly he didn't love me he wanted a pinata to take shots at with his hand picked friends that all happen to be cluster b personalities. I was blindsided..my son of 2 completely disposed of with me. Only wants to screw internet prostitutes and smoke crack andndo meth. I hope one day he sees the light and he is very hard on himself making people who did hard work on improvements and having purpose and good qualities to the table.
You attract what you reflect. Self-love brings the right kind of love into your life!
Thank you again for all your advice, rabbi friedman you could quite easily keep a jewel like this too yourself but you express it to the world..
Only 3 mins in and already, so much wisdom! I’m glad I found this channel ❤
I certainly believe in loving, kindness, and generosity!
Long live with you and health father rabbi Friedman❤
Ancient wisdom! Thank you
Thank you Rabbi. I’ve been questioning the purpose of marriage amidst our current world situations where selfishness at forefront. Where people keep using others for their own pleasure/fulfillment, and dehumanizing one another when it considers no longer fulfilling/benefits them.
Which made me had no interest in idea of marriage in todays world..
Thank you for bringing the light and return its sanctity, hopefully I could meet my person who could see the institution values and greater purpose like you do.
Loving yourself means dont let others abuse you. Dont let others trick you and hurt you. This is the context meant by love yourself. Narcs dont love themselves.
I was under the presumption that we need to have empathy in order to have kindness so empathy comes first before anything.
When one questions whether I will I be loveable, then it is a root insecurity.
We have to find out why this is and try to heal from it so we totally accept ourselves.
Thank you, Rabbi Friedman. This teaching will help me very much! ❤
Your talk today struck the very pain of my loss,so truthful!
All children need to be seen, understood and heard. Be treated as if you have value. Children need love or you can destroy a person. I agree with you on a lot, but we must lift up the unselfish love of a newborn child. We need the nuances. Children do not understand like an adult and must be allowed to keep their childhood.
I love being alone
@@Jen-s6e I also like being alone.
Thank you Rabbi Friedman and Team!! Wish you and all here a great day!!💪✡️🙏❤️🔥🎶
In Quantum Physics the mutual interaction of emotions one on another is called entanglement. The Rabbi is on point. However, not everyone is familiar with the Kabalistic Tree of Life and how the Sefirot interact and how they are connected to and interact with each other.
How good and how pleasant it would be to see the unification of all higher man! - Bob Marley circa 1978 - Africa Unite
i love you rabbi you ease my thoughts when i am down.
God is love so we need to follow His way because we don't because of what we want but because we love God we love others
This was so beneficial thank you.
That’s why I say the opposite of love is indifference not hate.
Imminently lovable man this rabbi.... ty rabbi for being a pleasure to be kind to. Truly a generous person❤
"Love" that is real leads to action.... we all need help.... however we label things, love that exists in my heart.... as a feeling I feel when I consider you.... is ultimately mine and not a generosity to you unless I purposefully convert my feeling of the feeling...... into my willingness to put your wellbeing ahead of my pleasure....
I would say we need love in order to be truly human.... but love isn't a feeling it's a circumstance that leads to action....
Love cannot be a simple pendulum, where my feelings are free to swing....
Thank you Rabbi
Rabbi you really help me to understand and be more clear about my emotions
Cruel to be kind in the right measure. is a good song,
Thank you Rabbi Friedman ❤
That helped me a Lot. Thank you dear Rabbi ❤
Yes 💯🙌 you know my strength 💪🙏❤️ and I will never forget that God's timing is right 👍▶️
They don't marry you for companionship or love just to abandon you and control you from a distance with hate and revenge in mind.
Profound! So needed and explained clearly.
Well said rabbi surely heaven sent thank you from us all
Thank you Rabbi Manis Friedman I was unaware until now.
Thank you
Profound message! Thank you
Thank you for posting - I understand and needed to hear this today.
Rabbi. Thank you
Thank you só much! 🕊
Sorry forgot what I wanted to say , from what i mentioned above, to add in, Kindness is a nature thing , it’s a natural human thing . That’s all. And I understand it, like something harmless wind passing by me.. dwell deep in it is not worth it. But to have better action and path is worth .
Thank you so much for your wisdom, i had never heard about this before. It has helped a lot.
Forgive my ignorance here. But does not your boyfriend have to be your boyfriend before he can be your husband. How do your "court" a potential mate without getting to a point where they are important and you love them. Then they become your husband or wife. Please explain
Wow fascinating so true.. "back off" I'm going to say that next time I'm obsessing about something.
Think about someone else next time the attention on myself goes too far.. such good advice. 💜
Love is a feeling. If you dont love your wife or brother or sister, what's the point? Many times, an animal shows more love than a sibling or spouse. When one doesn't even like a spouse, then it's best to get divorced and stay busy with hobbies. No marriage is better than a lousy marriage.
😂😂😂😂
THANKS RABBI!
Terrific so enjoyable
I will take away the dog analogy because it was spot on
I’ll remember that since it’s La’Behemot today is a time for us to honor our relationships with behemot, the animals in our lives but not above people
Thanks!
Thank you Yocheved! Many Brachos to you and yours. Thank you for supporting our efforts.
Rabbi Friedman, I believe my brother was a narcissist. He died in February 2023. I am concerned about him going to hell. This is something i think about every day. He wasnt a bad person, he had a lot of goodness in him. How forgiving is God when it comes to personality disorders.
In one of the lectures, the Rabbi explained that everyone gets to Heaven, only passing through Hell.
God created your brother with love and with the ability to deal with the difficulties he had to go through in his life.
How forgiving is God? How much does a loving father forgive his children?
Well the answer is:
God is infinite. Therefore his love is infinite and hence, his forgiveness is infinite.
@@user-jn6jm4bb6f thank you.
Thankyou you saved me
This makes sense!
Brillant ❤❤❤
Thank you Rabbi ,most valuable ❤
You have a kind face❤
I think people can be forgiven for gaining some inner strength from not having the emotional supporrt from a mother or and absent father, i think you end up just mothering yourself. You really do and yes very humbling.
I know this , because when I was little all I have was kindness.. and as I grow up all I see was black and white ^ ^ I couldn’t see anything else but I’m ok ,. Looking back .. if I have to admit what I see , I would say kindness and give it away.. kindness to give the space to share and experience without limit and give it away, let go and forget … I know there’s no firm place to say black is black and white is white.. i know this place.. and yet I still seek for compassion.. it is odd.
Good analogy, with the chocolate 🍫
Thank you ❤
I wish I'd heard this from being 18 onwards..
Wish I heard this at 17, but we gotta remember this life of ours is about what God wants for us, from us, which can be frustrating at times
Brilliant❤
When do i stop being kind and start judging?
I must go home to the heart of the earth calls me home. Jerusalem, my bride time for me to be with my children. Her fruits are ripe hitherto I go to harvest. Her bounties for 6 years are in the storehouses time for her rest. Mizpah shipra H'SHEM
So from listening to this guy talking in riddles for ages, ive took from it that he doesn't believve in marriage - same as myself, & you shouldn't love yourself - i believe you should. The rest is too much to comment on
We love your videos
AGREED!
I’m sorry… I love my God and I will die for my God
You speak of True love and then call desire love and how it is empty. Yet we are told that love is unrelenting so value and importance is outside of it! For God's is only without love when we do not follow his laws, we step away from him and learn to fear him!
What is important here is that the object itself is dear to your heart, important to you, Not his love or yours. Love is a desirable byproduct, but nothing more.
That is, If God is the one who is really important to you, your feelings towards him will not decrease or increase his importance.
A childish person treats life according to sweet and bitter. That is, he will always look for sweet things and withdraw from bitter things.
A mature person treats life according to truth and lies. That is, he will always seek the truth and withdraw from the lie.
In other words, your relationship to God need be like a mature person, not childish.
Once a person realizes that God is the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, only then can he discern how much God loves him. And this is the ultimate goal state.
This are the law's.. nobody can follow but can get it as guide
What about Moslows hierarchy of needs? A sense of belonging in social life.
To sacrifice our will, is it love?
Rabbi Friedman if your boyfriend becomes your fiance and husband when does he become important. I'm divorced and don't want to rush into marriage without taking time to get to know the person.
For GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD ❤understand?
What about Love of God?
What's the difference between male love & female love??? Why sometimes people dissatisfied of love & opt the addiction?? Do we understand love at matured stages??? How to get along with people that have materialistic love ??
Love because God is love not about what you want but what God want that gives you peace because you don't expect anything so that if disappointed you will be strong because you expect nothing and if good return you thank God for it
What about the attraction we feel when we meet someone and how do you pick a partner and is having a boyfriend forbidden
how can someone compare loving another person to adoring chocolate? :(
We love because another person is closeness, is touch, conversations, laughing together, experiencing together, creating life together also something as sacred as a child. I am so disappointed with the level of this lecture, do not listen to it, it makes no sense. Love is, was and will be the highest value in this and every other world
I don't think you grasp the basic concept of a metaphor! Go check!
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zelo se motite rabbi.. o custvih.. ogromno custev cutijo ljudje, ne tako malo, cudno kar govorite..custva so vedno prisotna.. in vi narobe ucite ljudi.. zapomnite si to..
clovek je polen custev.. vsaki dan, vedno..ce si otrok zazeli sladoled..to je custvo, ce dobi slaldoled , tudi to so custva.. itd.o cem govorite vi?? ne narobe uciti ljudi..
Thank you Rabbi
I’m confused about one thing
Loving your parents and loving a boyfriend is extremely different! Loving a boyfriend is a carnal feeling, even sexual, but loving a parent is completely different! My children are the most important beings in my life, but I’m not to them, my daughter is having her first child in a few months but she is treating me very badly, she doesn’t want yo hear any advice from me or to hear any advice from me, she says that inly her own family matters to her, when did I stop being her family ? I font understand why she pushes me away! My son is now engaged to be marry and the same thing, he doesn’t ever call me anymore, and when he goes is when she is not around . I feel like they have abandoned me! Why I’m not important to them ?
Unfortunately the younger generation doesn't or will never understand what Rabbi is saying. You just have to Learn to b happy without them.
I read every word of your words carefully.
Don't confuse love with lust. Love is emotional, lust is a physical thing. Love can exist with or without physical contact, lust can exist with or without love.
Your daughter wants to develop independence, to deal with things on her own, like a child who wants to stand on his own two feet without help. What's the problem with that?
I understood from your words that you were giving advice, without being asked for it, Advice must be given only when asked for, otherwise it is rude and interfering in the lives of others.
The disconnection they seek is probably due to your over-interference, and resentment that YOU and YOUR needs are not the center of THEIR world anymore. Your anger stems from not feeling valuable without your children around you. You hold them by the claws and try to arouse in them unnecessary feelings of guilt, which will come back to haunt you with greater force of disconnection on their part.
Let go! Be by their side and be available for THEIR needs and not for your needs.
We start our lives by being important to ourselves, then our children are more important than us to ourselves and at the end of the process we return to being important to ourselves, and our children, their children are important to them.
Don't resent the situation, take advantage of your free time for the things that were important to you, but you never had time for .
Maybe I need to tell the whole story
I have two children, now they are grown ups, I raised them alone. I worked 2 jobs just to keep a roof over our heads, they grew up very independently as I was always working. They both are university graduates and doing well financially. Baruch Hashem. I live by myself in Florida and continue to work full time, I do not depend on anyone financially, they are my world.
I’m 67 years old, my daughter will be having her first baby in oct/nov, she lives in California and I hardly see her,
We do speak to each other twice a month, she is very busy working and so am I.
I wasn’t given unsolicited advice, she had call me to tell me she can’t sleep very much because she is very uncomfortable with back pain.
We were talking about this and I simply mentioned that after the baby is born she should feed the baby a little more at the last feeding and maybe the baby can sleep a bit longer at night. That advice was given to me by my pediatrician when she was a baby. She got really upset and said she has a nurses and a doula and she was told differently. I was not arguing with her, she hung up the phone and haven’t heard from her again.
I was abandoned as a 1 year old child when my parents got divorced, my mom came and got me back when I was 5 years old, she had a new husband and daughter, I was always raised as the outsider, her new husband was wealthy and his daughter had the best of everything, my dad never paid child support so I had very little. She went to private school and I went to public schools, he always reminded I wasn’t his daughter. I have a tremendous hunger for love and a huge amount of fear of abandonment. I don’t know how to have friendships or relationships with strangers because I have been betrayed way too many times, mostly by the people I love most in my life.
I’m very self sufficient and don’t bother people for anything even when I need help because I never had any help. I rely on my faith in knowing I don’t walk alone because Hashem will not forfeit me. My daughter has mentioned moving to New Zealand with her husband. That’s where he is from and he has convinced her they will have a better life over there so I don’t see how I’m even going to have a relationship with my first grandchild. I’m so disappointed with life, I never expected to be this alone in my old age and not have grandchildren near me. 😢
@@magalibonayer7571 I'm about your age, I have children and grandchildren, I was exactly in your place, it's a dark and bitter place and I understand exactly what you're going through.
When we are no longer busy working from dawn to dusk, all the problems of the past rise up, like popcorn kernels in a pot on the fire.
You feel that two things come back from childhood, as if rise from the dead's: unworthy and abandoned. This feeling screams from your words. Let's be honest, instead of finding out where you are needed, you are actually needy.
Notice that you are trying to pull the rope that binds you, but instead of pulling back or getting closer, they simply let go of the rope that binds you (moving to New Zealand? ).
Is it possible that you have learned from one of your parents, a victim behavior style or offensive speech in some way? Have you asked your children how they feel when you address them? Did you listen to them or did you just dismiss them?
I was surprised to find out that not everything we think about ourselves, is what our children think about us.
The trick is to listen to their words and change.
Have you thought maybe it's time to bring to the light of day the feelings you felt in your childhood? Have you consider giving attention and compassion to the child in you? Did you think it might be time? And maybe just maybe, that's what the world is trying to tell you?
I answered earlier but for some reason the answer does not appear. I will answer briefly again.
Notice that the people closest to you are moving away from you. Did you ask them the reason for this and listen, really listen to their answer?
Is it possible that without being aware of it, you have adopted offensive behavior and/or speech in one way or another. Behavior that originates from one of your parents or the dominant people in your life?
Don't you see that the universe wants you to be alone for a reason? Maybe the reason is that your childhood experiences are asking for your attention and it's time for it to be heard?
According to what you said, the whole universe is telling you that now is your time, really yours, only yours. Maybe you should listen And finally give attention and compassion to the little girl in you, the one you never had time for?
Interesting
I must admit, if this was a talk for girls; It is more relevant for men.
The narcissist I dated for 10 years who was being polygamous all over town, was generous at giving from.time to time. He knew that things sucked for me. But that was my problem. I had no money and job took care of the baby and he would leverage the money he would give me as a punishment if he didn't get something out of me or I was sensitive to his coming home being a fucking dick
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I love the grounded reality of this channel!!!
Retirement took a toll on my finances, but with my involvement in the digital market, $47,000 weekly returns has been life changing. AWESOME GOD❤️
Massive! Been trying to trade on my own for a while now, but it isn't going well. few months ago I lost about $28,500 in the trade. Can you please at least advise me on what to do?
@@ainanarvaez9496Maria Angelina Alexander I really appreciate her efforts and transparency.
Giving her my initial savings of $21,000 to invest in a brokerage account was a turning point in my life. It's been an incredibly rewarding experience and the best decision I ever made!
This is a definition of God's unending provisions for his people. God remains faithful to his words. I receive this for my household.🙏
Wow...I know her too she is a licensed broker and a FINRA agent she is popular in
US and Canada she is really amazing woman with good skills and experience.
Love is not anti Semites the love is 10 commitments as assigned to Moses and the sovereign status of the open door mercy
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G-d loves us. Dayenu
I don't really agree love is important without love there is no kindness and without kindness there is only cruelty.
The Rabbi who is sharing is he 51 % perfect according to the law of God ?
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I have never experienced romantic love. I am 74 years old. Not going to happen for me.
You never know. Be yourself n you will attract it.
Start by being kind, nice, pleasant. Always speak from the heart, it's a magnet for people. Be honest, however, without hurting the other party and taking into account his feelings. Despite the scars and pain, open your heart to the beauty around you. People think that these are the signs of weak people, floor rags, but in fact this is the clear sign of mentally strong people.
It will! 🙏🏾❤️
Could it be called a trait?
I thought that God wasn't a man, but the spirit of love? How could love be idolatry when that is what God is?
When it becomes a greater love than your love for God?
Fidelio