Best SciFi Storytime 1477 - Why Them!? | Hfy | Humans Are Space Orcs

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  • Опубликовано: 16 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 120

  • @anathardayaldar
    @anathardayaldar 2 года назад +153

    00:30 "Every race also has its idiots." At last, a story about me!

  • @chrisdufresne9359
    @chrisdufresne9359 2 года назад +432

    The poor thing accidentally released the murder monkeys on the universe. May whatever Deity they so choose have mercy on them.

    • @christopherwoodbury7520
      @christopherwoodbury7520 2 года назад +37

      Fun fact, if you achieve immortality no god can judge you in the afterlife.

    • @RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus
      @RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus 2 года назад +25

      He gave the murder monkeys a common enemy lol he really did screw up.

    • @Amoth_oth_ras_shash
      @Amoth_oth_ras_shash 2 года назад +3

      @@christopherwoodbury7520 faulty reasoning... you can still be killed and hence forth.. not your 'spectral' then agen...immortality is not 'indestructibility' ;)

    • @ForWeAreMany
      @ForWeAreMany 2 года назад +9

      he activated and glitched the "Random Chimp Event" to last forever until the exploit was patched

    • @Kodiaksaint
      @Kodiaksaint Год назад +2

      True, but he can probably make you wish you could die.

  • @peterwall8191
    @peterwall8191 2 года назад +344

    Never underestimate an idiot. Our whole history started ,when some idiot picked up a rock to throw ,at some other idiot who was taunting him for a distance.
    That idiot, changed the world! Never underestimate an idiot. He will succeed where brilliant people fail, because he doesn't know its impossible.
    As for the dream of FTL.. its just that, a dream. The key is frame of reference. Perspective colours all.

    • @anathardayaldar
      @anathardayaldar 2 года назад +33

      Nothing is "fool proof" because fools are so ingenous. - anonymous

    • @unknownentity5569
      @unknownentity5569 2 года назад +11

      a smart person knows when to give up, but the fool knows not the fool changes the world

    • @jarrettatkins3062
      @jarrettatkins3062 2 года назад +13

      This is the reason why the smartest sentient's never speak in absolutism, no mater how small a chance Murphys law will find a way to prove nothing is absolute

    • @pappajudas9267
      @pappajudas9267 2 года назад +5

      I'm suddenly reminded of a song. History was made by stupid people.

    • @jarjarbinkssithlord834
      @jarjarbinkssithlord834 2 года назад +3

      I have an idea for FTL using quantum particles and manipulations of geomagnetic space, to propel stuff faster then light speed. I do not know how it would be able to slow down or if theoretically would destroy the bounds of earth causing irreparable damage to earths magneto sphere but hey maybe I am just a fool...

  • @number3766
    @number3766 2 года назад +172

    They forgot the universal human rule.
    Say something is impossible, we do it anyway or die trying.
    When asked why, we respond "BECAUSE FUCK YOU THAT'S WHY!"
    It's why reverse psychology is so effective against us.
    Also the harder the challenge, the greater we want to accomplish it, because it's there.
    Never give humanity a common enemy, the only thing stopping us from breaking everything is ourselves. If we have a common enemy, we take all the energy and weapons pointed at each other, and point it at you.
    Humanity often asks how instead of why?

  • @muninrob
    @muninrob 2 года назад +183

    Damn, he IS an eloquent troll - and that's high praise coming from a veteran of Jita IV 4.

    • @darkhorse13golfgaming
      @darkhorse13golfgaming 2 года назад +17

      Jita has the feel of a Middle Eastern bazaar mixed with con men from a Mafia movie lol.

    • @reginaldbull4922
      @reginaldbull4922 Год назад +1

      So true 😂
      For anyone wondering - EVE online and a major trade system

    • @Nicmadis
      @Nicmadis 10 месяцев назад

      @@reginaldbull4922 Aka space barrens chat.

  • @donaldscholand4617
    @donaldscholand4617 2 года назад +55

    Judge: An eloquent defense ... (to the bailiff), fire up the wood-chipper!

    • @DeathclawJedi
      @DeathclawJedi 8 месяцев назад +1

      I dunno what the movie is called but Dan Aykroyd (in heavy prosthetic makup) Played a Psyco hillbilly judge who's court room was a death trap filled with spikes and traps an actual wood chipper I think and other horrors. I just pictured him in that makeup after reading your comment. And now I have to go find what the dumb 80's or early 90's movie was. D'OH! EDIT. Found it! NOTHING BUT TROUBLE with John Candy, Chevy Chase, and Demi Moore. Now do I dare watch it? I remember thinking it was corny and dumb when it came out. Eh screw it may as well!

  • @twitchcontrols1441
    @twitchcontrols1441 2 года назад +91

    So an AI gets access to the human internet and learns what rolling, trashtalk, and nihilism are, something something something, starts an intergalactic war

  • @johns9652
    @johns9652 Год назад +12

    I've been binge watching these videos for a couple weeks now, and kept having this nagging feeling that they seemed familiar. Being a sci-fi buff since I was a kid in the 70s, I grew up on Asimov, Bradbury, Ellison, Heinlein, etc. and thought I was just recognizing elements of old sci-fi. It took this story to make me realize, that feeling of recognition one gets from HFY stories, is more akin to "Florida Man". "Florida Man throws alligator into drive through window" (true story), "Florida Man leads police on high speed chase".
    HFY is Florida Man in space.

    • @waynebrackett1906
      @waynebrackett1906 8 месяцев назад +1

      FYI think Farscape similar from long ago across when deathworlders meet and farscapes pilot are the same story.

  • @michaelyoung7261
    @michaelyoung7261 2 года назад +46

    That was an excellent ending. Humanity really does be awesome

  • @BoeseFlueche
    @BoeseFlueche Год назад +10

    Aliens: Nobel goal.
    Humans: IT IS FOR PORN!

  • @NerdyWordyMatt
    @NerdyWordyMatt 2 года назад +46

    An HFY story in which HFY stories cause the problem.

    • @SNaKeEyexxx
      @SNaKeEyexxx 2 года назад +8

      I’ve actually thought about this alittle bit, if (when) we are contacted by aliens, and they see the HFY stories, how are they going to react and are they going to be accurate or are we going to be weaklings

    • @Furzkampfbomber
      @Furzkampfbomber Год назад +2

      @@SNaKeEyexxx I think the movie 'Galaxy Quest' has already answered this question nicely.

  • @Ryu_D
    @Ryu_D 2 года назад +60

    Thank you for the video. Their potential is now limitless, and so shall be the pain that troll will experience, for eternity. You don't just spark a universal war and get away consequence free, no matter what your supposed reasons.

    • @mwm1724
      @mwm1724 2 года назад +5

      Ok, but what if it was really funny?

    • @MrMoron-qn5rx
      @MrMoron-qn5rx 2 года назад +6

      @@mwm1724 non-limitless pain. For sub-eternity.

    • @csmrookie9600
      @csmrookie9600 2 года назад +5

      @@mwm1724 Pretty funny. Imagine you started a whole conflict because you trolled too good.

    • @imjang2430
      @imjang2430 2 года назад +6

      @@csmrookie9600 i can think of a couple people that have trolled too good in our oun history... Like in the 100 years war... The napoleonic wars... Or the world wars.

    • @alexandermathieson4774
      @alexandermathieson4774 Год назад

      i think this is an example of " the ends justifies the means"

  • @Rawkit_Surgeon
    @Rawkit_Surgeon 2 года назад +87

    Dear universe.
    We, the humans, present the concept of rule 34.

    • @techstuff9198
      @techstuff9198 2 года назад +23

      The universe: "Oh thank goodness, it's only half as bad as we expected."

    • @GodoStory
      @GodoStory 2 года назад +16

      Humanity to the universe that was only one of the minor websites! And we present the rest! Except this one! *a lot of alien porn*

    • @techstuff9198
      @techstuff9198 2 года назад +11

      @@GodoStory [Visibly disturbed, but not by too much]

    • @techstuff9198
      @techstuff9198 2 года назад +10

      @@GodoStory [They got access to the restricted sites anyway] It is disturbing that so many of these fictional races so closely resemble real ones, even down to the reproductive organs for a few...
      Though there is also the common trend of many species components being perfectly represented, but on the wrong species body. The first most commonly noticed example being human reproductive organs being slapped onto basically everything, and "horses" being the second.

    • @austinteal3645
      @austinteal3645 6 месяцев назад

      Naaahh💀

  • @thelivingghost5695
    @thelivingghost5695 Год назад +9

    The moment I heard 'Universal Internet' I knew this was going to go crazier than an OCD person with a squirrel and chipmunk down their pants in a roasted peanut factory.

  • @locomastero
    @locomastero 2 года назад +5

    'MANITY FUCK YEAH!
    TEARING WORLDS AND DESTROYING LIFE FORMS!
    'MANITY FUCK YEAH!
    🎶🎶

  • @tristanhochkins3065
    @tristanhochkins3065 2 года назад +12

    Him: humanity, fuck yeah... Humanity: all charges dropped from us

    • @enclaveofficerz3245
      @enclaveofficerz3245 Год назад

      Someone has the same sentiment.
      I was waiting for the ruling council in the hearing to drop charges.

  • @Maddog3060
    @Maddog3060 2 года назад +13

    Now that was funny.
    I mean, he's still going to spend a few millions years listening to Vogon poetry in VR, followed by out-of-tune polka and being forced to eat lutafisk.

  • @ethanspaziani1070
    @ethanspaziani1070 2 года назад +5

    That thumbnail
    ME AND THE BOYS AT 3:00 A.M. LOOKING FOR FUSION CORES

    • @enclaveofficerz3245
      @enclaveofficerz3245 Год назад

      Red Scimitar: i have exploited capitalism by becoming a water baron to buy us 50 fusion cores.

  • @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH
    @DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH 2 года назад +7

    Bless the Squerril
    Bless the Author

  • @wrathshorts2894
    @wrathshorts2894 2 года назад +13

    Only two things are infinite. The universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the universe. - Albert Einstein -

  • @codyray3344
    @codyray3344 2 года назад +17

    thats some 4D chess shit right there, using a story about trolling to troll people.

    • @enclaveofficerz3245
      @enclaveofficerz3245 Год назад +1

      And then all that trolling is strategically undone bringing back every dead person from a time machine creating both an infinite paradox and a seperate timeline.

  • @mekelwander6551
    @mekelwander6551 2 года назад +42

    Well that's all well and good and all that... but at the very least we'll still have to put the guy in a simulated punishment sim for about half a billion years for all the lives lost.
    All in good fun, right?

    • @bahajirutmspt436
      @bahajirutmspt436 2 года назад +8

      We do a little trollin and accidentally make it infinity

    • @sakib6258
      @sakib6258 2 года назад +5

      imagine they put him in a billion years of Baby Shark

    • @nathansmith9104
      @nathansmith9104 Год назад +1

      @sakib6258 I would rather die

  • @soffren
    @soffren 2 года назад +3

    Trolling is a sacred duty in a digital society

  • @KroMagnum4
    @KroMagnum4 2 года назад +4

    "Humanity fek yeah gonna save da mutherfekkin universe ya'll!"

  • @discusmaximus
    @discusmaximus Месяц назад

    For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Narrator, Agro Squirrel !!!

  • @isaackinsley1662
    @isaackinsley1662 2 года назад +3

    I was listening to this on headphones while cleaning, so I did not expect that ending. XD

  • @walterdayrit675
    @walterdayrit675 2 года назад +5

    This sounds exactly like what a Q might do.

  • @davidteh3807
    @davidteh3807 2 года назад +4

    Some how the trolling alien name is LOKI .....

  • @beingsneaky
    @beingsneaky 2 года назад +7

    Yeah suuurreee. He will still need to be punished... I know make him suffer every death of his ppl that were killed by humans. Each one asking ,"WHY??" Why are the humans attacking us?? And them made to suffer the remose of each and every human who has found out that they were killing innocent ppl. For no reason but a joke.

  • @allenmorgan1007
    @allenmorgan1007 2 года назад +4

    For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

  • @Winterborn1970
    @Winterborn1970 5 месяцев назад

    Reminds me of the novel "Illegal Aliens" by Nick Pollatta and Phil Foglio!

  • @Average_Josh
    @Average_Josh 2 года назад +8

    Keep up the great work!

  • @ckl9390
    @ckl9390 2 года назад +5

    So it's his fault we have the Dark Forrest Theorem.

  • @hydrogenone6866
    @hydrogenone6866 2 года назад +2

    Trolling the universe

  • @eliandervalderen5849
    @eliandervalderen5849 2 года назад +3

    Trolled by fan of one of our reddit website. Seems like something that might happen

  • @blazermettro2059
    @blazermettro2059 Год назад

    If the humans ever got their hands on him.
    He's gonna learn what the Geneva checklist is.

  • @darthrevan4933
    @darthrevan4933 2 года назад +5

    So he accidentally turned humanity into the imperium of man

    • @enclaveofficerz3245
      @enclaveofficerz3245 Год назад

      So thats why the kreigsmarine exist . . I thought it sounded WH esk

    • @davehood2667
      @davehood2667 Год назад +1

      @@enclaveofficerz3245 Kreigsmarine used to be the IRL name of the German Navy, back when Germany had a respectable Navy, way older than 40k.

  • @funbro99
    @funbro99 2 года назад +3

    Trolls human in that the galaxy and universe itself is dangerous and bad.
    Humans pulls no u card and with the goal to liberate.

  • @jacobbakos3140
    @jacobbakos3140 10 месяцев назад +1

    Wait. He SAW OUR INTERNET and still decided to pull this stunt? Did he not see the 40k fandom? They cream at the thought of an eternal crusade across the galaxy and he said “heh. Let’s pretend that aliens are actually evil.”
    He really was an idiot. He single handily created the Imperium of Man.

  • @kerwinbrown4180
    @kerwinbrown4180 2 года назад +4

    Humans are more adaptable than that. They would have experimented and fractured.

  • @Melanesian-dude
    @Melanesian-dude 10 месяцев назад

    guy commited the ultimate troll

  • @RealArcalian
    @RealArcalian 2 года назад +4

    Greetings Mentlgent!
    For the Rhythm that is Algo
    Eh......maybe the slow path of peaceful progress would've been better, just saying.

  • @Amoth_oth_ras_shash
    @Amoth_oth_ras_shash Год назад +1

    point and case...
    a 'prank' only someone pull... that forgot that there never is a point you no longer need to worry about survival... only about exactly how big another 'fish' needs to be to match you

  • @greensweaterchild8179
    @greensweaterchild8179 2 года назад +5

    We do a little trolling.

  • @TheDurid1
    @TheDurid1 2 года назад

    OMFG, LOL! I am getting strange looks from my coworkers here!

  • @banegearwolfgrim9013
    @banegearwolfgrim9013 10 месяцев назад

    Usually I hate trolls. But I can't say that I do of this one.

  • @jamesmclemore9123
    @jamesmclemore9123 Год назад

    "It's just a prank, bro"
    The prank:

  • @ghosty5478
    @ghosty5478 Год назад +1

    TL:DR: Guy trolls humans and makes them into the War hammer Imperium of man.

  • @hughgordon6435
    @hughgordon6435 2 года назад +21

    Fta, hope you're not overdoing the voice? Stay safe

  • @thejuggernautofspades9453
    @thejuggernautofspades9453 Год назад

    We couldn't go faster than the speed of light so we increased the speed

  • @Wanderer4Hire
    @Wanderer4Hire 2 года назад +13

    And then he got out into a simulation where he is tortured constantly for his crims of killing roughly a googol of sentient/sapient species and that's low balling it as in a war like this the humans would need 1-2 billion soldiers and that's only when they are evenly spaced, making the border thin, when an army is sent to a specific place to conquer it would take roughly 10 billion soldiers, so take that number and multiply it with all the 3 dimensional cardinal directions which in total is 24, not accounting for the finer angles as with nne, and couple that with constantly transporting more soldier there, added with that soldiers are constantly dying so new ones transported, and thats only the human species being calculated, the number calculated with all the species in the universe would be astronomical

  • @mikevg5200
    @mikevg5200 Год назад

    this was actually so funny

  • @elmateo77
    @elmateo77 8 месяцев назад

    I see a holy war spreading across the universe like an unquenchable fire. A warrior religion that waves the Atreides banner in my father's name. Fanatical legions worshiping at the shrine of my father's skull. A war in my name!

  • @ornu01
    @ornu01 2 года назад +1

    I tried to boil bleach, once.

  • @yomogami4561
    @yomogami4561 Год назад

    lol hfy for the win

  • @rememberjerry936
    @rememberjerry936 2 года назад

    Based and red pilled

  • @cameltube-vk7el
    @cameltube-vk7el 11 месяцев назад

    H F Y ... well done

  • @akoworn7324
    @akoworn7324 2 года назад +1

    Let's Goooooooo

  • @genericuser984
    @genericuser984 2 года назад +2

    neat

  • @CodexisInkwind
    @CodexisInkwind Год назад +1

    After ww2 we collectively seem to not take well to 'evil'

    • @enclaveofficerz3245
      @enclaveofficerz3245 Год назад

      Me and one other guy see this as humanity dropping charges, i mean come on he literally caused the invention of a time machine to bring back dead people and reverse the heat death of the universe in the most chaotically human way possible.

  • @WiredTurkey316
    @WiredTurkey316 2 года назад +1

    Phuc yea!!

  • @jimmycoyote74
    @jimmycoyote74 2 года назад +1

    For the algorithm

  • @Nempo13
    @Nempo13 Год назад

    First Law of Stupidity: Everyone underestimates the number of stupid people.
    The only counter for this is to assume everybody you meet is stupid until prover otherwise. This does not mean to expect the worst from them, but try to discern whether or not they are a benefit to you. It sounds exceedingly selfish, but people that only put you at a loss are no good for you. Also keep in mind that it is possible for a person who produces losses for you might produce gains for someone else, so stupidity can actually be subjective in that regard.
    Second Law of Stupidity: The probability that a person is stupid is independent of any other characteristic.
    This is pretty self-explanatory. Defining stupidity based on social interactions is genius.
    Third Law of Stupidity: A stupid person causes loses to others without gains to themselves.
    Doing something that benefits nobody and causes harm to everyone should be the textbook definition of stupidity.
    Fourth Law of Stupidity: Non-stupid people underestimate the danger of stupidity.
    This, unfortunately, cannot be mitigated or countered in any way because the damage a person can do before you discern if they are stupid or not can range from inconsequential to biblical.
    Fifth Law of Stupidity: Stupid people are the most dangerous people on the planet.
    Villains who twirl their moustaches can be spotted a mile away. Stupid people are everyone and everywhere and they themselves aren't even aware of what they are doing to others. Nobody likes to be called stupid. Nobody thinks of themselves as a stupid person.
    Bonhoeffer‘s Theory of Stupidity - The most important insight is that stupidity is essentially a moral failing more than an intellectual one. The failure is in believing things based on how they make us feel, rather than on their truthfulness.

  • @elfeater1760
    @elfeater1760 2 года назад +1

    For the Algorithm11!

  • @arakheno4051
    @arakheno4051 2 года назад +2

    F.A.S.

  • @M-S_4321
    @M-S_4321 Год назад

    AI...oops

  • @merlinwizard1000
    @merlinwizard1000 Год назад

    84th, 10 January 2023

  • @asandrewsilvaw
    @asandrewsilvaw Год назад

    For the algorithm